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narrators-journal · 3 years

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Hanging around

Aka Xeno is in denial about his crush.

This was kinda inspired by a story I found on Archive of our own, I think it’s called ‘Swayed the two as they fell asleep’ by EndlessFangirl. Mostly I just took the idea of a hammock, because it was adorable, so I suggest you go read their little fic!

Sometimes, Xeno absolutely hated being in charge of the new world. He loved science, adored the power it gave him, but bringing back humanity from the stone age was hell. When America is back on its feet, I swear I'm going to vanish into my home for fifteen years and not touch a pipette or Florence flask. He thought on his third night in a row of being in his lab without leaving beyond the bare necessities, but now it was beginning to eat at him. To be fair, it wasn't that Xeno was a super social man to begin with. Most people annoyed him, he found them stupid, a lot of the people who'd revived were loud, and rude, so he usually kept his distance from them in or out of his duties, so he could go a long time with minimal interactions. But, there was at least one person he actually liked in the stone world, Stanley Snyder, his childhood best friend. Stan was his favorite person in the world. Tall, well-built, with hair so blonde it was nearly a white-gold and eyes the color of ice. In Xeno's mind, his childhood friend was the perfect example as to why humans were the apex predators for earth, no question. Stanley was disciplined, intelligent, with muscles earned through military training and years of high school football, and a keen predatory elegance. It was no wonder why every girl in high school melted for his childhood best friend, he was okay to look at. Xeno shook his head so hard that he needed to run his pale, slender hand through his snowy hair to put it back into place, trying to loosen the thoughts of his best friend, I can't be thinking about Stan, he chided himself, turning his attention back to his latest project, squashing any lingering memories of Stan whenever they went swimming together as teens, or the times Xeno'd fallen asleep on Stan's bed and woke up to find his friend laying with him. Reminiscing on the comforts and advancements of the long dead past would have to wait. Instead of thinking back to the past, Xeno worked on moving forward, doing his best to make as much progress as he could in the night before exhaustion set in and he completely lost hold of his thoughts. When he reached that point, the pale man sighed and got up, stretching once again before heading out of the lab. "Make it twenty years," he muttered to himself as he walked out into the darkened, drafty base. Most, if not all, of his men were asleep for sure, but when Xeno caught a whiff of cigarette smoke on the breeze that leaked in from a still unlocated gap in the walls, doors, or windows, he knew at least one person was awake at such an unhealthy hour. After a small search through the base, Xeno found the smoking soldier outside, lounging in a hammock someone had made between two sturdy metal pipes in the corn field, in a stubborn patch of dead dirt where they couldn't yet grow any plants. "What the hell is this," Xeno spat, glaring at the offending lawn decoration, Stan sitting up slightly to look over at him, a cigarette between his dark-painted lips, "Maya thought it'd be nice to have some sort of creature comfort, a way to destress. So, she set this up." he explained, shrugging, "it's pretty comfortable." "It's a waste of materials and space is what it is. We've got beds, a hammock is not needed." The scientist huffed, the soldier just laying back in the thing and dangling his arm out to flick the cherry of his cigarette onto the dirt, "And you're going to like the whole field on fire! Some comfort it'll be after that," He just snorted while the other stomped the ember out, "Let it go, Xeno. They've all worked hard and done all that you asked, let them have a hammock. It's not hurting anyone, we can easily make more metal and cloth, this patch of dirt isn't yeildin' shit, and besides, I think once you actually lay in the thing, you'll grow fond of it." Stanley hummed, looking up at the smaller grouch when he moved to stand over him in the swing. Stan did at least look comfortable, lounging in the embrace of the sheet, wearing a white t-shirt and loose pants that acted as his pajamas or casual-wear with one arm hanging out and cigarette drifting out of his partially opened mouth. As always, he had his gun with him, so Xeno knew that at least his best friend wasn't recklessly lazing about without any forethought to any potential attacks. "If I want to lay down, I have a bed to do it in. I do not need a tablecloth." he huffed, keeping his dark eyes stern while Stan rolled his, "Then why are you out here?" The question smacked the little dictator upside the head, Fuck, why AM I out here? I should be going to bed, not hiking through the damned corn. He mentally groaned, putting a swift halt to his momentary floundering under the question and thinking on his feet to answer, "I smelled smoke, I came to investigate." It wasn't a lie, he had smelled smoke on the air, and that's what had led him to looking for Stan. He just wanted to make sure his friend didn't doom them to burn in a fire with his disgusting need to smoke. Stan stared up at him for a moment, taking another lazy drag of his cigarette to finish it off before flicking it to the dirt for Xeno to stomp out. Then, he hooked his arm around Xeno's waist, pulling him forward so that he fell into the hammock with him. Despite the scientist's best efforts to scramble back to his feet, and his hissed curses and threats, he was manhandled into the swing with the soldier and trapped there by the man throwing his free arm around him, holding him to his side in a far too intimate position. "Stanley Snyder, let me go! I do not want to lay in a damned bed sheet!" he snarled, his cheeks suddenly as hot as his Bunsen burner, but his friend ignored his complaints, easily overpowering his attempts to get up. "Maybe not, but you wanted to lay with me," he hummed, unphased by Xeno's hostility, or the sputtering and verbal scramble he fell into to try and formulate an argument. In the end, the man was silenced with a simple half-lidded, knowing look from those icy blue eyes. He hated that the soldier could read him so easily, able to tell when he needed physical contact but his pride was in the way of asking for it. It was humiliating. But, he was still right, the pale dictator had been in need of some human interaction after so long cooped up in his lab, so it felt shamefully nice to wriggle, red-faced, between his warm body and the side of the hammock, throw his leg over him, and lay his head on his chest so he didn't suffocate or overheat. In return, Stan simply loosened his hold on him and lit up another cigarette.

The warmth of his spot, the sorely needed contact, the comforting smell of cigarette smoke and nature that clung to Stan's clothes, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the way Stan moved to lazily rub at Xeno's back and shoulders, wordlessly working the tension from him. It all came together to lull him into a familiar relaxed state that exhaustion was quick to drag at. "I hate you." Was the last sleepy mutter Xeno could manage, and before he completely gave in to his need for sleep, he heard a pleased hum of "I know, Doll."

#Stano #stanxeno #dr stone #drst #Stanley snyder #Xeno wingfield #scenario #short story #fluff

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c-is-writing · 4 years

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i liked you so much, we lost it

pairing: lena luthor x gn!reader

genre: angst ;-;

word count: 2290

warnings: possible poorly written angst? (i’ve never written angst before)

a/n: this is yet another song fic!! the song is called “i liked you so much, we lost it” by ysabelle cuevas.

original request

I like your eyes, you looked away when you pretended to care

I like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear

You wore them more with her, I knew and I was scared

I let myself fall deeper but I was prepared

Oh, those unforgettable emerald eyes, the ones that you fell in love with are slowly falling out of love with you and you don’t know where it went wrong or when it changed. Over the course of a few months, you notice a change in Lena’s behavior; everything lasts for a fraction of a second. Her eyes no longer stare at you with the same adoration and love that you hold for her. The smiles that she always reserved for you were shared with another girl, a blonde one. The cute dimples that you love to poke your fingers into were less and less frequent, rarely shown when she was with you. But when she was with the reporter, oh man, that smile could light up the whole world. Having been in a relationship with Lena for almost 3 years, you could easily notice her subtle changes whether it was on purpose or not. However, you never brought it up with her. You sat back and let yourself try to enjoy your last few months with her love until nothing remained and the love was given to someone else. That’s how you got yourself into this situation -- sitting in your apartment staring at a wall in the hopes that no one could see the tears slipping down your cheeks and onto the hardwood floor. Thinking about it, you know that you and Lena are reaching the last legs of the relationship and now here was the worst part, the waiting for the inevitable.

I liked your shirt, the one I gave you can't forget how you smell

But now on different shoulders hang the jacket I used to wear

I loved you for so long, sometimes it's hard to bear

But after all this time I wish you well from here

Coming home late at 3 in the morning, Lena notices that you’re curled up on the floor, staring at the wall. It hurts her to see you like this, so broken and dejected. Taking off her heels, you hear the soft pads of her feet against the floor as she slowly approaches you. Kneeling down and placing a gentle hand on you, afraid to press any harder in the fear that you might crack, she softly asks, “Y/N? Hey, are you okay?”

You continue staring at the wall, more interested in that than Lena’s words. Lena moves to sit in a more comfortable position next to you and waits with a baited breath. Minutes pass by and the two of you sit in the silence of your apartment. You take a breath and pray that your voice doesn’t fail you now.

“Lee...when were you going to tell me?”

“Oh. Y/N…”

Moving to sit up right, refusing to look at Lena and instead opting for focusing on a small mark on the wall. Hm, I wonder when that got there. “Look. Lena. I-” You pause and slump forward, exhaling, “I love you and you know that. But I know that you don’t love me back. And that’s okay. I can tell that you love Kara with every fiber of your being and that she makes you so incredibly happy. So, don’t let me hold you back from pursuing that happiness, okay?” By the end of your sentence, your voice cracks as you move to face Lena. Her eyes, still gorgeous as ever, were swimming with emotions as tears cascaded from them. She nods and pulls you into a hug as the two of you sob quietly into each other’s necks. In a gentle whisper next to you ear, “Thank you Y/N. I love you.” Your heart clenches at her words, this was the last time that Lena was going to tell you that as your girlfriend. Lena holds you tighter as you try to comfort her and rock her back and forth, whispering reassurances in her ear. Yes, you’re heartbroken about this but you still love Lena and she would always come first.

Staying in each other’s embrace for a while, you’re the first to pull away. Placing your hands on her shoulders, you look into her eyes, taking in every detail of them before you wouldn’t be able to see them this close anymore. “I had a feeling that you would return from work late so I packed all of your things already. I also included the jacket that you always loved to wear.”

“Wait, but isn’t that yours? I can’t have it. I-”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t need it anymore. Just take it...please.”

Her eyes look back at yours, searching for regret or remorse but instead finding love and only love. She stands up and starts heading to the bedroom to gather her boxes. You move to help her continue moving the boxes as she calls her driver to pick her up. After 15 minutes, her driver arrives and begins to bring the boxes down to the car. Before leaving, Lena turns around to take one last look at you. “I guess this is goodbye.” Sighing, you flash her a polite small, “Yeah, I guess it is.” Lena shifts in her place before saying, “I’m sorry.” You shake your head at her words, “Don’t be. It’s okay, Lena. Just remember that I love you and with that I always want you to be happy even if that happiness isn’t with me, okay? I know Kara will take good care of you.” Nodding her head, she gives you a watery smile before stepping out of your apartment and shutting the door behind her. Silence filled the room, only to be broken by your sobs pouring every ounce of emotion out of you.

The next day, you wake up on the floor; throat raw, eyes puffy, body aching. Taking a deep breath, you slowly move up from your position on the floor and try to make yourself presentable so others couldn’t tell you cried until you couldn’t. It was like clockwork, going through the motions of getting ready for the day not registering what you were actually doing. Finishing your routine, you start heading to the DEO where you worked in the labs. Upon arriving there, you lay your eyes on the beaming blonde wearing a familiar jacket. Oh. Oh. It’s the one you gave to Lena. The emotions start flooding back, your eyes brimming with tears as you quickly walk past and hide in the lab. You get into the safety and comfort of your lab and sit there until you can’t hold yourself together, praying that no one would walk in and find you like this.

I loved you every minute, every second

Loved you everywhere and any moment

Always and forever was just for a moment

'cause I was not the one, I don't know how

It’s painful to see the woman you loved so dearly give her love to someone else. At some point, you were on the receiving end of that love and those were probably the best two and a half years of your life. At that time, you truly thought that she was the one until you weren’t hers. That brief moment of time with pure bliss and love was just that, a simple moment in time. However, you know now that after giving Lena your whole heart and soul, no matter how much you try to heal from this, she will always have a part of you with her. You may never know when Lena decided you weren’t the one for her but it happened and here you are, trying to put on a brave face when you see Lena smile like she never had done with you. “To love is to hurt and, damn, did this hurt.”

Never knew of pain like this but I've got to know

Thought I loved you so

Why did you go?

I hate the way you let us go like it was all just nothing

Weeks had gone by and you were barely present, the world rushing by you in a blur. You spend all of your energy avoiding Kara and Lena so that you don’t have to deal with your emotions again. When you were alone, you either spent your time blaming yourself for the relationship failing or getting angry at Lena for leaving without a fight. You realize that it wasn’t really either side’s fault but you still couldn’t understand why Lena never fought for you. Were you not worth it anymore? Groaning, you lie down on the couch and look up at the ceiling. At this point, you couldn’t bring yourself to be angry anymore. You could never hate Lena no matter how much she hurt you. Even though you haven’t seen her in weeks, you know that you’ll still love her even though she’s with Kara now.

In your efforts to avoid Kara and Lena, every time Alex invites you to game night, you always come up with an excuse to not go even though you know that she sees you hurting. However, this time, Alex is determined to bring you to game night because everyone missed you and she knows that you need a distraction of some sorts. As you sit at your lab table, focused on the pipette in front of you, a presence makes itself known as you hear someone clearing their throat behind you. Finishing up what you were doing, you place the pipette down and turn around on your seat. Alex looks at you and firmly states, “Y/N, you are going to game night tonight.”

“Wait, Alex but I-”

“No buts, you’ve missed game nights too many times. Everyone really misses you, please.” You hear her voice grow quieter and more sincere at the end. Sighing, you reluctantly agree and tell her that you’ll be there by 7pm. She offers you a small smile and a thank you. Patting your shoulder and wishing you luck on your experiment, she turns around and leaves you alone in the lab. Oh God, what am I doing?

Time can heal my heart

Through the bad rainy days

I know that I will be okay

Walking up to Alex’s apartment you feel the anxiousness building in your stomach. Pushing through the feelings, you make it up the last few steps and find yourself standing in front of the door. With a shaky hand, you quietly knock on the door praying that no one would answer so you could go back home. Unfortunately, Alex opens the door wide open almost immediately, as if she was waiting by the door for you. Greeting you with a hug and a smile, she brings you in and everyone else lights up at the sight of you. A small wave accompanied by a slight smile is given and they all rush to greet you, asking how you’ve been doing and why you’ve missed game night so much. Unable to tell them the truth, you make up some excuses as to why you haven’t been coming as often in the hopes that they all accept it. It seems to work as they no longer push the topic any longer.

After settling in and relaxing on the couch, you hear the bedroom door open and watch as Lena and Kara walk out together, hand in hand. You feel your breath hitch and your mouth grows dry. Suddenly standing up, you rush to the bathroom, wanting to be alone and away from them. You grip the counter with white knuckles to ground yourself until you feel your breathing go back to normal. You spend a few minutes in the bathroom composing yourself and telling yourself that you’re going to be okay. Opening up the door, you make your way back to the living room and plop down on the couch next to Nia. Everyone could feel some of the lingering tension in the air and you glance over at Lena, making eye contact with her. You send her a smile and mouth, “I’m okay, don’t worry.” She nods and after seeing the small exchange between the two of you, the tension seems to dissipate and everyone relaxes. The pain gets more and more bearable every day. You’re okay. You’re okay.

You were not the one, I know that now

In a world still full of life I see color

In a bit of time 'cause we deserve better

Always and forever when the right one comes because

Part of loving you is letting go

It’s been a few months since the break up and you haven’t completely moved on because you know that a part of your heart will always reside with Lena however, you don’t feel the pain as much. You finally realize that Lena was never the one for you and that’s okay because she gave you love when you needed it and you reciprocated that love in a heartbeat. Sometimes, your heart still aches when you see how happy Lena and Kara are, and you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t wish that you were Kara so Lena could look at you with love in her eyes once more. But you’ve settled on being her friend because you loved Lena so much that you let her go. You let her go because her happiness was more important than yours in that moment and it will be for as long as you love her, even if she doesn’t love you back.

let me know if you would like to be added to my dc tag list!!

#*mine #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor x gn!reader #lena luthor x you #supergirl imagine #dc imagine #song fic #yeehaw this was one long boi #i listened to a lot of sad playlists including mine lmao

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unokins · 3 years

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No Truth Left - Part 2

CW: Memory Loss, Mold

Link to Archive

The smartest decision would be to go for what land she could see. Perhaps someone would be there who could help. At the very least, she could wait for the fog to lift and then definitively make her way to the mainland.

Decision made, Chie pulled her hair back into her scrunchie and placed the oars into the water. The old vessel creaked loudly, lurching as Chie situated herself. One last glance at the island ensured it still waited for her. Chie put her back to it and rowed. The dinghy swayed forward awkwardly.

Splinters dug into the soft flesh of her hands, biting like dozens of tiny ants. The gentle slaps of the oars against the water fueled Chie’s anxiety. With each little noise, she imagined what could be hearing her through this fog, though nothing stirred from the water’s surface. It remained blank, black, bleak.

After several minutes of oaring, sweat trickled down Chie’s forehead, despite the coldness of the air. Her arms and back protested each movement with burning soreness, dull pain digging into her shoulders and abdomen as she strained to continue forward. The island waited, squatting like a fat toad. Chie faltered, gasping as her leg cramped, seizing painfully.

“Ow, ow, ow, shit.” Chie rubbed at the offending muscle.

Quit with the fucking melodrama and row.

Jolting, Chie spun around frantically.

No one stood on the island. No one sat in the dinghy. She was alone.

Chie shook her head, groaning quietly. She must be hearing things. The voice had been deep, masculine, and angry. But her inner thoughts never sounded like that. A distraction, that’s what she needed. Chie continued rowing and worried about something else.

For the past week or so, her memory had been failing her. Co-workers spoke of conversations that Chie couldn’t recall, of tasks she completed but had no memory of. Apparently, she had an argument with her roommate that the neighbors heard, but Chie, for the life of her, couldn't remember. Her internet browsing history was a mess of unintelligible words and weird websites that didn’t appear in any google search. Her parents fretted with hand-wringing concern.

What had happened in this most recent memory lapse to land her in the middle of the water like this? Events danced at the forefront of her mind, but she couldn’t place a distinct date to any of them. Timesheet day at Arkham Microanalytics Laboratory was Thursday. Saturday was half-off certain vegetables day at the Asian market. Had she submitted her timesheet? Did she get that bok choy she wanted? If the last thing she did was go shopping on Saturday, it did nothing to tell her how she ended up here.

The island loomed. Chie pulled herself from her thoughts to realize just how close she was. The ground inclined from the shore, and Chie couldn’t make out anything besides dirt, rocks, and an old dock jutting into the water. The island itself was severe. Bare, sharp rocks outlined most of it, reaching upwards towards the sky at awkward and unnatural angles. No grass or tree grew on this inhospitable place. The island was bleak and black, the only color being the faded brown of the dock.

With all the grace of a drunken baboon, Chie pulled the dinghy to the dock. A rope sat in a pile and Chie snatched it, pulling herself close with a soft thud of wood hitting wood. Putting the oars back on the floor of the dinghy, Chie securely tied the boat. Her hands moved expertly, wrapping the rope around the hitch before knotting it to the pole of the deck.

Chie’s breath caught in her throat and her chest froze. She didn’t know how to tie a knot like that. She had pulled up, planning to just tie it like shoelaces. She just-

Her hands shook, and her legs kicked out suddenly, deciding it was time to move. But she wasn’t ready. Chie careened backwards, arms windmilling, and splashed into the water. As she fell, time slowed as a scaled humanoid head - bald, pale blue, with glassy eyes - stared at her as she went down. Then the water embraced her with shocking cold.

To your right! Swim to your right!

She didn’t question the angry voice. Only reacted. Chie kicked, and swam blindly to her right, eyes squeezed shut. Her whole body tense from the cold, she groped stiffly for the ground. The bare mud was wet and slippery, but she found purchase as something brushed against her leg.

Chie resurfaced like an explosion, screaming as terror gripped her senses. Frantically, she scrambled to the shore, kicking back at whatever had her. Her foot landed against something solid. Sobs heaved from her chest as she pulled herself free from the water, free from-

Algae. Green plant fronds tangled around her legs, clingy damply to her. Chie stared dumbly at it. It was algae. She looked up. The water was still.

Shaking from equal parts fear and cold, Chie unwound it and slowly stood. What had she kicked? A rock, perhaps? Had to be. The island seemed built of equal parts jagged rock and dank mud. It had to be the same underwater.

The black mud from the shore squelched under her shoes, releasing a stench worse than roadkill skunk. Dead, rotting fish littered the shoreline and flies buzzed above the carcasses. Chie gagged, and raised a hand to cover her nose. But the black mud stuck thickly to her fingers, and she stopped before accidentally smearing it on her face.

Her eyes drifted to the water. Then, firmly, she decided no. Making her way back to the dock, Chie scraped the mud off on a wooden pole, then shook the rest free from her hands. She forced herself to breathe shallowly, and stared pointedly away from the water. It was strange. The dock was old, rotting from the inside out. But the rope she had used to tie the dinghy was strong nylon. Certainly an anachronism among the decay.

Did that mean someone was here? Chie looked up the island slope. If so, they must have heard her scream. No sense in keeping them waiting.

Chie struggled up the steep incline, hand over foot, slipping on the mud with every other step. The rocks could have assisted her climb, but the rivulets and curves on them were sharp, and Chie did not want the mud inside an open cut. Her mind wandered to a sample that crossed her lab years ago. It was a thick, moist mold that had been slowly poisoning the home's elderly occupant. It sloshed around in the little vial, dark spores clinging to the plastic. Chie had struggled to get it in the pipette, and it clumped together on her slide. Under the microscope, it writhed. Nurse Janet, who brought the sample, spared no details about the patient’s horrific condition, despite Chie’s multiple reminders of HIPAA violations.

Chie's arm sunk into the ground with a sucking squelch. She bit her lip, swallowing a shriek. Disgust rolled in her stomach, and she jerked her arm.

Stuck.

Chie glanced down and her mind conjured images of tendrils writhing and wrapping around her, trapping her. She yanked again. The mud schlorped and gave little.

From her periphery, the water near the dock rippled.

Chie realized then that the ground beneath the water had been bare of plants.

Frantically now, Chie braced herself and heaved. She pulled free - slipped. Chie landed hard on her butt with a breathless "oomf!" Something rose from near her dinghy, the viscous black water a bulbous growth as water tension refused to break.

Scrambling, she half-crawled, half-ran the rest of the way up the hill, no longer conscious of just how muddy she got. Over a crest, and down the other side. Chie slid down the incline, maneuvering around the rocks with awkward, flailing arms. Feet stumbling, Chie hit the bottom hard and momentum carried her forward several steps.

The island topography was like a crater, with steep hills in a perfect circle surrounding a flat depression. The back edge of the island boasted a stone cliff protruding out to open water. The stench was heavier here, hanging like a miasma. Several large stone pillars jutted from the mire at irregular intervals. Barnacles sat on the stone, and, unlike the rocks, the edges were weather-worn with time. Chie found herself drawn to them, almost hypnotically. The carved lines writhed, curling in on themselves, twisting, tangling, growing, reaching for her, beckoning her to-

Focus! Something’s after you.

Chie jumped, eyes tearing away. A raised hand shielded the pillars from view. Her heart thudded. Ahead of her stood a dilapidated wood house, almost as rotten as the dock. Its roof sagged, causing the walls to buckle with the weight. The windows stared at her, sightless and unblinking. A dead tree overshadowed it, long, bare branches stretching over the roof as if reaching for her. A breeze drifted by, and it swayed, finger-like twigs beckoning her.

Against the wall of the crater huddled the entrance to a cave. Water dripped from the ceiling like saliva, and the ground inclined down like a throat. A few sturdy, wooden boxes sat just inside the entrance where they had some refuge from the elements. Refuse littered the entrance near the cave: empty bottles, soda cans, and crushed chip bags.

A slow squelch sounded behind Chie, followed by a heavy tread. Whatever it was hissed and gurgled as it ascended the hill.

>Take refuge in the House >Take refuge in the Cave >The pillars are Calling

#horror #writing #horror story #choose your own path #original writing #ocs #fiction #lovecraft horror #lovecraftian #let me know your choice in the replies or tags if you decide to reblog #no truth left

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navyhyuck · 4 years

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week one | previous | masterlist | next

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐃, 𝐉𝐀𝐘.

↳ a love letter a week, and it has you wondering who’s your secret admirer. you have nine weeks, eight candidates, and one story to live. will you find out who your ‘jay’ is?

a/n :: hi hi hi fellas here’s the first part (technically, since the other one was an intro) <3 uhh a little fun fact! this project mentioned in this chapter was one that i actually had to complete last year (before corona lol) and i thankfully got a good grade on it even tho my teacher swore on all gods that it was very difficult,, he also let me put up nct posters in the classroom <3 enjoy :) [also, i may have missed some tags!!! if you aren’t here and you sent in an ask before, please do so again since it’s been some time since i last updated this!! ty mwah]

wc :: 2.2k

taglist: @childofthecycle @takoyakkun @the8luvr @staywrites @chocolattees @cherry-jaemin @cloudzume @babytoadz @cherrystay @sandaigdigan-reads @hoes4hoseok

couldn’t tag: @x-dawna-x

let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

There have been far too many unfortunate events unfolding in your day so far, starting off with the stupid guy that had parked just a little into your spot (that still had you thinking more than you had to do for any science test, and you were highly tempted to just smash the car instead) and then moving onto your English class where you were given a pop quiz on the third act of Romeo and Juliet, and then finally, the situation you’re in now.

It’s the last period of your day, which is supposed to be the most laid back in certain cases, but you’re slumped in your desk in the AP Chemistry lab room for a new assignment of partners. You’ve already attempted to convince Mrs. Choi to let you continue being partners with Chaeryeong, who was looking equally as gloomy from the opposite side of the room, but she had passively dismissed your request with something that went along the lines of ‘expanding our knowledge as a class.’ Not only did that sound like bullshit to you, it actually was, but you didn’t do anything more than stay put as she called out the assignments of partners.

“...Chaeryeong and Jisoo. Beomgyu and Yuna. Y/N and Jisung.”

You’re frozen at the sound of your partner’s name, slightly expecting your teacher to pair you up with one of the overachievers that usually sat in the back and talked shit about the ‘untalented’ kids, but you’re also pleasantly surprised. Turning your head, you meet the said boy’s eyes from a distance, shining into yours before a smile spreads across his face almost immediately. You return one back (probably forcibly from the shock you’re experiencing of the Han Jisung actually recognizing you and smiling at you) before whipping your head back to the front, gulping deeply.

Fuck.

“Now that we’ve split into pairs, there is a list of chemical compounds on this table. Come up with your partner and choose one wisely. After everyone’s chosen, I will tell you what your assignment is.” Mrs. Choi gestures vaguely with her hands, turning away as the rest of the students move around to find their partner. You stay planted in your seat, eyes barely staying open as you quietly continue to try and calm the beating of your heart. You’re sure that it’s not healthy, the erraticness overflowing to every single vein and artery in your body until you’re filled with the filling remembrance that your teacher just paired you up with the single most attractive boy in the school. Well—you purse your lips, thinking about that Hyunjin guy from yesterday—Jisung still causes more heart palpitations than some new guy could ever.

When you deem yourself safe enough to finally use your legs without thinking about falling, you stand up, meeting your partner halfway in the middle of the classroom. He doesn’t say anything at first, possibly because you’ve found a newfound interest in your dirty Converse, but he chuckles as a few seconds pass by, making you look up. “Hey there, thanks for looking at me. Wanna go choose a compound?”

You blanch at his choice of words, but you nod slowly. “Uh-huh, yeah. Sure.”

You learn later, alongside Jisung, that your assignment was to successfully convert your chemical compound into another, with exact proportions being massed properly. Just as you listen to Mrs. Choi going on and on about proper dilution, you slowly start blanking out into the space of ‘why did my dumbass decide to take this class’ and ‘this isn’t worth the pain that I’m receiving.’ Thankfully, Jisung has an equally shocked look at his face as the explanation continues, and you’re sure that there isn’t a way the two of you would be able to complete the assignment properly. There was no way; it was practically impossible.

“I just want to remind you guys that this is definitely possible! Students have succeeded well in the past years! You and your partner should be working together as efficiently as possible, which is why I mixed it up a little this time. There should not be any distractions, understood?” Mrs. Choi finishes, nodding as if someone had actually answered her rhetorical question. “Also, I’ll be grading you on how well you manage your time, so if there’s unnecessary chit-chat, that’ll be points deducted from your grade. No exceptions. Got it?”

You think maybe she’s referring to the time you and Chaeryoung accidentally fucked up the entire experimental process by forgetting to set a timer (it was because the two of you were preoccupied by a TikTok dance, though you would never admit it to anyone), or maybe the time that Jaehyun guy almost set half the chemistry lab on fire by not disposing of chemicals properly. You’d think the school would be a little more careful considering they’re letting teenage students handle dangerous chemicals, but thinking of the time that your teacher told you it was fine to handle acid without wearing gloves, it clearly was never a practice.

You and Jisung start to prepare, with you carefully reading through the reaction process several times and measuring out the chemicals as precisely as possible while Jisung handles the rest of the equipment, bringing over pipettes and scales. As the two of you continued working for the rest of the class period, only till the very end did you notice that you were, possibly for once, actually using all of your class time properly.

“Are you going to homecoming?” Jisung asks as you set down the beaker on the scale, startling you with a non-chemistry related question. If you were being honest, you hadn’t thought about it; homecoming wasn’t too big of a thing at your school to begin with, plus, there wasn’t even the cliche dance that everyone thought they’d get as kids. It was one of the first home games played by the football team (which was pretty shitty, for the record) and they crowned a homecoming king and queen every year. Honestly, it was usually a bore.

“I don’t know,” you say honestly, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible. Maybe constantly reminding yourself every two seconds that Han Jisung was speaking to you would help, but you couldn’t get over it. At least not today. “I haven’t really thought about it.” He hums thoughtfully, taking the beaker from you as you pass it along.

“Have you ever gone to a swim meet before?” His question sounds rather interrogative in nature, and he seems to notice, stumbling over his words for the first time. “Um—I mean, have you gone to any of our swim meets before? You see, I’m on the team and I feel like I’ve seen you before at one of them, and it’s fine if you have gone! I’m just curious.” He holds up his hands in defense as if he’d said something wrong, the chemical splashing around in the beaker as you widen your eyes.

“Fuck, be careful,” you retrieve the object from his hand, placing it down safely on the table to ensure you weren’t going to take after the setting-the-classroom-on-fire guy. Jisung watches as you do so, perhaps overanalyzing the fact that your gloved fingers brushed past his in that moment, now an apologetic look forming over his face. “Sorry, you were about to spill it on yourself.”

“No, it’s fine!” He replies, the volume of his voice attracting attention from the nearby classmates, including Chaeryoung, who gives you a small smirk. You return a pointed glare in her direction, trying to calm down as you realize you’re overheating from the situation at hand right now. “Shit, sorry, that was kind of loud.”

“It’s okay, Jisung,” his name tastes unfamiliar on your tongue, only having been used around Ryujin earlier. Ryujin, you remember, my best friend that’s practically in love with the boy standing in front of me. “I’ve been to your swim meets before, I mean—no offense but—who hasn’t? You guys are undoubtedly the best team in school, who wouldn’t want to watch?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he chuckles wryly, sounding a bit forced. You decide to ignore it and continue working on the project. Thankfully, your teacher gave the class a few days to work on it, or else it would be essentially impossible to finish. “Wait, aren’t you usually there with your friend? The one with the blue hair?”

You raise your eyebrows, somehow already feeling just a little more comfortable around him. He isn’t as stuck up as you expected, and he definitely doesn’t act like a cocky little shit either. Most importantly, he seems to be just as nervous as you. A small smile forms on your lips. “You mean Ryujin?”

“Ah, yeah! Her.”

“Ryujin and I usually go to watch swim meets together, or at least, she drags me around everywhere and that’s one of the places I’m forced to go.” You chuckle at the memory of her towing you towards the pool, swearing that she’ll buy you a hundred dollars worth of milkshakes for the next month if you keep her company. She never kept the promise, but you still remember the feeling of watching people competitively swim. More importantly, the seven most popular boys in the school at the time. “But I go voluntarily now. I think everyone has to have some sort of school spirit, right?”

You look up at him, your eyes sparkling under the fluorescent lights and you don’t notice, but Jisung gulps, avoiding your gaze after a split second. “Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Totally, definitely.”

The conversation awkwardly ends there, a little weird but better than having to continue talking about how many times you’ve seen him backstroke his way to a medal. You’re not sure if Jisung even knows how popular going to a swim meet is, because when you ask him, he answers with: “I thought all sports got the same audience.” They don’t, that’s confirmed, unless the dance team was performing as well.

The bell rings a few moments later, finally signalling the end of the day with a deep sigh from you. You clean up as quickly as you can, bidding your new partner (and maybe friend) a goodbye to the rest of the day. As you yank out your phone from your bag, going out into the hallway towards your locker, you spot Chaeryoung from the corner of your eye, brushing past you dramatically with a whisper of:

“You’re whipped already.”

dear y/n love,

this is my second letter to you. hopefully, unless you didn’t receive the first one for some reason. but if this is the second one, hi! i hope you had a great day today and if you didn’t, i hope you feel better. i think you probably find this weird, the love letter sort of thing, it’s super cliche and everything so i’d get it if you decided to take this and, like, throw it out or something. but please don’t! please don’t throw it out, i’d be very upset. not that you’d know anyway, but :)

you’re also probably wondering, ‘why is this guy sending me stuff without telling me who he is?’ well, i’m glad to say that i have a purpose. it is, well, just to make you happy. life is hard, ya know, and i don’t think a lot of us would be able to get through everything without someone by their side. not that you don’t have anyone by your side! i’m sure you do, you have friends and family that support you as well, but since i unfortunately do not fall into either of those categories, i have to resort to written letters.

anyway, i’m ending this letter quickly considering my class is ending in hmm, like four minutes? i want to make enough time to get to your locker and give it to you, hopefully without you ever noticing, but if you did end up finding out who i am…just forget about that part. yeah, like my face and all? erase that memory from your pretty head. i’m so sorry, i just realized how much i just didn’t get to a point with this letter at all.

in a few days is the homecoming game, and i may or may not have a little surprise waiting for you there. if you’d like to come, that’s awesome, if not, that’s perfect as well. i know the last thing you’d do is trust someone you don’t know, and it might be a little hypocritical of me to say this, but trust me. in the least creepy way, i will say that yes, you do know me, maybe not as well as i know you. shitttt that sounds so creepy, i deeply apologize. i’m just your secret admirer, that’s it, not a stalker omg. now it sounds like i’m a stalker. okay, anyway.

please come to homecoming, i won’t reveal myself to you just yet (maybe not ever, but it depends) but i have something waiting for you. it’s NOT a death wish, cross my heart, for real.

signed, jay

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mixelation · 3 years

Note

i... what happened the time you accidentally made chlorine for proof. why? how? i must know.

okay so PSA! be careful cleaning with bleach because it can react with lots of common household chemicals (mostly other cleaners but including potentially your pee) to release noxious fumes!

Anyway. In lab, it’s normal to have two beakers on a bench: one for solid waste (pipette tips, tubes, etc) and then liquid waste. In this lab, because I had my own bench and space, I wasn’t cleaning them out everyday. But! One day I pulled some DNA from some E. coli! Which I dumped to my liquid waste beaker because it was in liquid culture! And I was like “what do I do with all this bacterial waste?” and my labmate told me to add bleach to kill the bacteria and then pour it down the sink. So I took my beaker to the sink and poured a little bit of bleach in..... y’all. There was about of inch of liquid in the beaker. And then the beaker was suddenly entirely filled with foam.

Have you ever done an at-home experiment called elephant toothpaste? like that!

it was warm too and gave the strong smell of chlorine. I don’t think it was actually chlorine gas (but bleach does contain chlorine so the element was.... in there somewhere) but the lab sure did suddenly smell like a swimming pool!!

Anyway, DNA extraction kits do have a small-text warning not to add bleach. I found out why!! And my gut reaction was to dilute the SHIT out fo it with water (AKA, i turned on the sink) and then back off and watch suspiciously from a distance. In hindsight I probably should have called someone but I was new in the lab and didn’t want to be like “guess who made a noxious gas!!” So I just. I diluted and poured down the sink. u.u

#moral of the story: have a SEPARATE beaker for bacterial waste so you can bleach it to death #science #Anonymous

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aliceslantern · 5 years

Text

Beyond this Existence: New Life, short 16--Unlucky

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: “Unlucky.” A routine case with a vengeful patient leaves Demyx with more than he bargained for.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

It had been kind of a long day. Drizzly, but in a vague sort of way, as though the sky couldn’t make up its mind. Demyx only had one call left before shift change, and a last-minute one; a woman had badly cut her hand by the marketplace and needed help. It would be a quick fix, at least, before he could go home and collapse into bed.

The population around here was getting to be more dense, though it still paled in comparison to many of the cities he’d visited. A few people he’d healed greeted him. He still struggled to remember all their names.

The woman was waiting by her front door, her face ashen and drawn. She had a towel wrapped tightly around her hand, and it was soaked through in places. “Good, you’re here,” she said.

“Ouch, what’d you do?”

“Trying to do some slice and dice on some vegetables… and, well…” she shrugged. She was youngish, maybe thirty or so. Her apron had splotches of blood on it.

“It happens more than you think.” He smiled. “I can fix it. Why don’t you sit down?”

She sat on her stoop. He could barely see the inside of the small home, the onions and tomatoes sitting on a now-dirty cutting board. A bloody knife. A kettle had been put up, but was not yet boiling.

Demyx sat next to her. “How’s the pain?”

“It stings more than anything. The peppers, you know.” She bit her lip.

Before unwrapping it, he gave a quick scan of the wound, and cast a spell to coagulate the blood. He set the bloody towel aside. It was a clean cut, but one that probably would’ve had trouble healing on its own. He cleaned it quickly. She hadn’t even lost much blood, and it was shallow enough that it wouldn’t scar with a spell. He had it fixed in five minutes. The woman flexed her hand.

“You’re all set,” he said. “Just try to be careful next time, okay?”

“Oh, before you go. I was about to make some tea. Would you like some?”

Demyx hesitated. “That’s really nice of you, but I should let you get back to your dinner--”

“I insist.” She smiled widely, revealing straight, even teeth. “It’s the perfect kind of day for it.”

“Uh… sure. Thanks.”

She went back inside and came back a moment later with two mugs. “It’s a special blend. I made it myself.”

“Oh, are you a botanist?”

She laughed superficially. “You could say that.”

Demyx sipped at the tea. It was incredibly bitter, and he tried not to flinch. “The taste really is… unique.”

“Thanks. I thought so too.” She didn’t sip at her tea immediately.

“Are you new here? I haven’t seen you before.”

“I guess, in a sense. I just moved back in a few weeks ago. This was my sister’s house, but she… well.” The woman sighed. “She fell to darkness some years ago.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m getting along just fine on my own.”

He drank the tea probably too quickly, eager to get rid of the sour taste. “That’s good. I’ve noticed the people here are really friendly. You’re in good company.”

“I’m sure I am.” He wondered if he was imagining the dark undertone of her voice. She had been talking about her dead sister, after all. “We seem to be pretty welcoming to just about everyone.”

“Yeah… I really like it.” He tried to smile. “Thanks again for the refreshment. I’ll see you around.” Demyx realized he hadn’t even asked her name, but when he turned back to fix this, she had gone inside and shut the door. He brushed off the weirdness as a lack of social skills and started the long walk back.

It did seem much longer than usual. His calf muscles were getting tighter as he climbed the shallow incline, even though he usually took it a few times a day. Demyx attributed it to exhaustion, the weather. Once he was on the flat surface of the postern it didn’t fade, however, and in face the ache seemed to be creeping steadily upwards. He tried to think about what it might be. Potassium deficiency? Dehydration? He’d probably feel better with water and rest.

He kept making his way upstairs. The cramping was getting worse, more uncomfortable, almost painful now. Had he burnt out again? That had felt kind of similar. It would figure. Broken bones and pneumonia were high-cost heals, and he’d had a couple. He started to dig in his kit for an ether, found half of one, and had just brought the bottle to his mouth when a sharp pang in his chest made him double in two. The bottle fell to the ground and shattered, spilling the shiny green liquid all over the floor. “Shit.” He rubbed at the pain, trying to get it to ease enough to stand. A hot burning sensation replaced the pain, and his vision seemed to shimmer.

It wasn’t--no--

Demyx dug out his gummiphone and dialed Even.

His voice was sharp and snippy. “Boy, I’m in the middle of something. What do you want?”

“I think I’ve been poisoned.”

---

Demyx couldn’t make it as far as the lab. His muscles were too tight, and painful, and he sat propped against a wall waiting for help. He dug through his bag with shaking, achy fingers to see if he had any antidote, but he’d used his last on a kid who’d accidentally swallowed cleaning products. He had to wait and hope he could make it until help came.

At least it was fairly quick. “What on earth did you do to yourself?” Dilan asked sourly.

“Not me,” he hissed through his teeth. He could feel sweat coursing down his face.

“Can you walk at all?”

“Hurts too much.”

Dilan hefted him up like a baby. Being moved hurt worse than the stillness, and for a moment he thought he might faint. “You’re much lighter than you look.”

He tried to keep breathing. His head was swimming too much to try and figure out what had been done to him, and why. Even was smart. Even could handle it.

“So what is this? An accident? A cruel prank?”

“Don’t know.”

“We’re almost there.”

Time seemed to stretch, elongate…

“Demyx, try to stay awake.”

“Sorry.”

There were so many damn hallways in this place.

“Here. Set him over here.” Even’s voice, high and stressed.

“He’s been slipping in and out of consciousness.”

A sharp stab of cool fluid into his arm. Demyx’s eyes fluttered open. He could just barely feel the canvas of a cot under all the pain.

“There you are,” Even said. Another pinprick, this one in his hand. “How do you feel?”

“Hurts.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

“I’m sorry, I’m hesitant to give you anything while we’re trying to get you to metabolize this nasty business. I’m going to take some blood, alright? Let’s see if I can’t figure out what this is. In the meantime, I'm just going to keep a steady antidote drip.”

“Okay.” The words would’ve meant more to him if he could focus. His muscles were stiff, tight, and burning. Demyx wasn’t sure to be glad or not he was conscious. He shivered, hard enough that Even had trouble getting blood. Even tucked a scratchy wool blanket around him.

"I should tell Ienzo."

"No," he hissed. "No, I'll do it after."

"You're very ill. You'll probably be very ill for the next few days."

The generic antidote was making him more lucid, but it also made him more aware of the pain, insidious and awful. "That bad?"

"I'm still doing research. But you're lucky you recognized it and got to me when you did."

Through a sort of haze Demyx watched Even at work at the nearby table, watching him pipette blood and examine it under a microscope.

Time was moving weirdly. It could've been ten minutes or two hours. The pain eased in the slightest. He was desperately tired, and desperately thirsty, despite the fluids he was taking. "Even?"

He looked up. "Yes?"

"Will I die if I go to sleep?"

He smiled sadly. "No, you're rebounding enough. Get some rest. You'll need it."

Demyx slipped in and out, never quite getting all the way asleep…

"It was quite alarming to see. I haven't yet gotten the story. I think you may be right, Dilan. Someone clearly has ire for us."

Demyx blinked. Something cold wormed under the skin of his hand. "What…"

Even patted his wrist. "A more specific antidote. Go back to sleep."

"What was it?"

Even frowned. He sat on an upturned crate next to the cot. "A type of neurotoxin that causes your cells to stop accepting water. Essentially, it would've been a very quick, very painful death from dehydration. Not to worry, I've made a serum which seems to be combatting it. Your vitals are already stabilizing."

Demyx considered the irony of this. "She must've known."

Even's eyebrows furrowed. "Who?'

"The person who did this." He tried to sit up, or at least prop himself up, but his muscles were horrifically sore. “About my old powers—”

"Don't move," Even said gently. "I figured you, of all people, would understand this part of palliative care."

The joke didn't phase him. "Why else would she use a poison to dry me out?"

"Who?"

"The woman, the one who--" Hot nausea brought tears to his eyes. "I'm going to throw up."

Dutifully, Even handed him a pail to be sick into. This dealt with, he tried to focus.

"She gave me tea. After I healed her. I thought the cut was too clean, that she acted weird--"

Even sighed. "You gave her the benefit of the doubt. As any competent physician would." He paused. "Do you remember where she lived? We should let the committee know. The last thing we need is another maniac on the loose."

Demyx swallowed the taste of bile. He told Even what he remembered, but this exhausted him into a stupor. Even gave him another dose of the real antidote. He drifted off and woke suddenly, disoriented, is his own bed. There was still an IV in his hand. His head was pounding in time with his heart, an insistent thud like a metronome, and his stomach was sour. The blackout curtains of the room had been drawn, leaving it blessedly dark and cool.

In the semidarkness, he did not quite realize that there were other people in the apartment with him. The lamp by the couch was on, and it was here Even and Ienzo sat, mumbling to one another too softly for him to make out. Demyx felt horrifically thirsty, and despite all the time that had passed and all the fluids he’d taken he still didn’t feel the need to use the bathroom. He wondered if the poison had done more damage to him than he’d thought, that it had fucked with his kidneys, and if he should say something.

One thing at a time. Worry about sitting up first.

A sharp, splitting pain in his ab muscles nearly made him gasp out loud, but he managed it at last, treading dizziness. His skin was tacky with dried sweat.

The muffled conversation abruptly stopped. Ienzo stood and all but ran over to him. “You scared a few years off my life. Easily,” he said. He pulled Demyx into a gentle embrace, and if he hadn’t been so dehydrated he probably would’ve cried. Demyx couldn’t help but lean into the comfort. Too soon, Ienzo broke away and touched his face. “How do you feel?”

“Oh, wonderful,” he said hoarsely. “I could run a marathon.”

A twitchy, anxious smile broke the tension in his brows. “Are you still symptomatic?”

“Well I feel like roadkill. Like a hangover times one thousand. But the worst of the pain seems to have stopped.”

“Good.”

Even gently steered Ienzo out of the way and took Demyx’s pulse. “Aerith appraised you when you were unconscious,” he told him. “You should be alright, more or less, so long as we keep your electrolytes up to snuff. The antidote seems to have worked before the poison caused lasting damage. I’ve made more, in case our little friend decides to strike again.”

“I’m still so thirsty.”

“I’m sure it must feel that way. You’re getting more than enough fluids.”

Ienzo turned towards the window, peeking through the curtain at the moonlit night. His arms were crossed and he clutched his elbow so tightly Demyx could see the knuckles were white. He wanted to console him, but considering his brain felt like it had been microwaved all he could focus on was how shitty he felt. “Can I change clothes?” Demyx asked Even. “Maybe take a bath? I feel gross.”

Even raised an eyebrow. “Do you feel up to it?” he asked. “You should really rest first.”

“I’ll feel better. There could still be vestiges of the poison in my sweat. Which I’m kind of covered in.”

“That’s a fair point. Ienzo?”

He jerked, as though startled.

Even squinted at him. “Could you help him? I’m sure he’d prefer you over me.”

“Yes. Of course,” he said stiffly.

Standing was treacherous, and he had to lean heavily against Ienzo. In the privacy of the bathroom he let Demyx undress, his back turned as if they didn’t see one another naked on a regular basis. Demyx hung the IV fluid on a rack normally devoted to towels and settled in the warm water. “Well, this is humiliating,” he said slowly.

Ienzo sat on the covered toilet. “I’m sure.”

“I feel like an invalid.”

“You’re very, very weak.” He sighed. “While you were resting, I studied that compound. Things could’ve been so much worse, Demyx.” His voice trembled in the slightest. “It could’ve caused irreparable, irreversible damage to your brain. You could’ve had memory loss, or been paralyzed-- why are you laughing?”

The deadly anger of his tone sobered what little humor Demyx had found. “I can deal with memory loss.”

Ienzo paled, his anger dissolving. “Yes… that was… tactless of me.” A pause. “You could’ve lost so much, aside from your life. Motor skills… the ability to speak…”

“Motor skills?” He looked at his wet palms, which trembled faintly. He hoped it was from anxiety and nothing deeper. Aerith would’ve said something, right? “You mean I couldn’t play Arpeggio?”

“Amongst other things.”

He’d been too sick to realize it. He could handle the thought of death, even being disabled, because there was nothing wrong with not being able to walk or talk. Whatever would have happened, he could handle and adjust. But losing Arpeggio? Again? He felt wetness in his eyes and tried to blink it back.

“This is probably traumatizing,” Ienzo said softly. He took Demyx’s hand.

“Probably? You think?”

“I hope this is an anomaly, a lone act of cruelty. The committee is opening an investigation. Once you’re well, they want to question you.” He slumped a bit, as though his body weighed too much. “I am… furious. Even if this is revenge against the apprentices, there was no reason for you to get caught in the crossfire.”

“Unless she knew about me being in the Organization.”

“That is… possible, yes. Even so. It would’ve made far more sense for her to target one of us.”

“I interact with people more. Maybe she was trying to send a message.” His stomach was feeling a little worse, and he settled more deeply into the tub.

“Perhaps,” he said. “I had hoped Dilan was wrong, about the townspeople harboring grudges against us. I was naive.”

“You were hopeful.”

Ienzo looked up. There were tears in his eyes.

“Maybe it’s got nothing to do with our pasts. Maybe she’s just crazy and wanted to hurt someone.”

“Maybe,” he said, though Demyx could tell he didn’t believe it. “Is it helping? The bath?”

“It feels good. I’m so sore.”

“You probably shouldn’t stay in too long. I’d feel much better if you were back in bed. I should probably change the sheets, in case you were right about it being in your sweat.” He stood. “I’ll do that now. If you need me, shout.”

Taking a bath wore him out. Once he had actually brushed his teeth and gotten dressed again, he fell asleep for an indeterminable length of time. When he woke up, he was still achy, still thirsty, but a little bit less so. He kept down tea and a bowl of rice, was able to get to the bathroom on his own. It was a small victory.

Aeleus visited him. After all this time they weren’t very close, but Demyx appreciated the gesture regardless. “I’ve made you some bone broth soup. It’ll help get your strength back.”

“Thanks. That’s really nice of you.”

He sat in the chair at the bedside. Ansem had taken Ienzo out for lunch, though he didn’t know that Demyx asked him to do this. Ienzo needed air, some time to decompress. “How do you feel?”

“Much better,” Demyx admitted. “I’m getting there. Slowly. I can’t wait to get this thing out of my hand.”

“You gave Ienzo quite a fright.”

“I think it hit him harder than it hit me, to be honest.” Demyx bit his lip. “To a degree I think he thinks it’s his fault. That the woman was really after one of you, that this was some sort of revenge. It’s probably triggering him. That’s why I wanted him to talk to Ansem.”

Aeleus nodded sagely. “You know him well.”

Demyx laughed a little. “Well--I hope so. He’s hard to figure out, but I’m getting better at it.”

“You’ve become very considerate. Compared to then.”

He scratched the back of his neck with his untethered hand. His hair was a mess, but he saw no point in making it look good today. “I’ve worked really hard on that. The way I… used to talk to the others, makes me… ugh, cringe.” He bit his lip. “You want to know something really horrible? When Demyx heard about you guys at CO getting killed, he was happy. As much as a Nobody could feel, anyway.”

Aeleus’s expression barely changed. “You had to develop a sense of empathy from scratch. I, too, hardened my heart. So to speak. It was the only way to get through.”

“I already asked Even and Dilan. But how did you end up with Ansem?”

Aeleus thought about this for a few minutes. “We can say it was… progress for progress’s sake,” he said slowly. “I was young, I was idealistic. I’d heard that Ansem was pushing the boundaries of what could be, and I… feeling somewhat stuck in a rut… craved that change.”

“Did you feel trapped in Radiant Garden?”

“I believe I did. To hear him speak of other worlds, of other cultures was… intoxicating. It changed absolutely everything. Now I try my best to not be jaded. This place… I hope to nurture it.”

Demyx understood. “I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job.”

---

He slept again, deeply, and woke up disoriented a little after noon. He felt weird, and it took him a minute to process that he only felt that way because he wasn’t thirsty. Demyx waited for Even’s confirmation, but getting rid of the IV made him feel a million times better. He was able to at least rest on the couch now instead of in bed.

Aerith came by with Leon. She confirmed that the poison was gone from his system, but that he should still rest for another few days, at least until the fatigue dissipated. She made them tea and, exam and pleasantries over, they set to business.

Demyx told Leon everything he remembered, every detail to how she looked and acted, to how the tea tasted, where she lived. He’d told Even all this in a sort of fugue state. Giving the report made him feel vaguely nauseous.

“We’ve investigated the leads,” Leon said. “It’s so weird. When Yuffie went to that home, there was nobody there. There was no sign it was even inhabited. We’ve asked around, and nobody’s seen this person in days. We’re thinking she came over with one of the last Traverse Town flights. Without a name, and without records… she’ll be hard to catch.”

Demyx bit his lip. “I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

Leon sighed. “Yeah, us too. And we’ve let everyone know--not that it was you, but that someone had been poisoned, and not to accept anything from strangers or what seems or tastes suspicious. The restaurant owners are all pissed at me, but I don’t do this to be liked.”

“Even has samples of my blood and the poison. If that helps.”

Aerith’s eyes brightened. “You know, it might,” she said. “Maybe if I can figure out where it came from, we can find out more about the person who did this.”

“I’d say you guys in particular need to be extra careful,” Leon said. “In case this was targeting you specifically.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Do you think it is? Has anyone ever, like, mentioned anything about us?”

Leon tapped his fingers against his notepad. “Not that I can recall. I sent Yuffie out to do some recon. She’s good with people. If there’s anything to be found, she’ll find it.”

“And at least we have and can make more of the antidote, should someone need it,” Aerith said. “It’s good you were able to recognize it for what it was.”

“I kind of have you to thank for that. That, and years of getting bitten by asshole Heartless.”

Leon smiled. “We’ll call you if we need more information. Though this brings up an important point. We need to know who lives here. What they’re doing here. Town is growing so fast. We’ve been so focused on the literal infrastructure that I nearly forgot there needs to be other infrastructure too.”

“Oh, bureaucracy.” He tried not to flinch.

“Sort of. We should start a basic census, at least.” He thought about this for a moment, tapping a pen against his chin. “Well, I hope you have a quick recovery.”

Aerith gave him a hug. “Be well.”

---

It took him about ten days before he was feeling normal. It definitely felt like he’d been really sick for a long time. He’d lost weight, and ended up having to buy a belt because nothing fit right anymore. He hoped to gain a few kilos and get back into shape. Demyx was sure if he tried to do magic right now it would wipe him out, or worse.

One of these days he and Ienzo took a walk into town to get some groceries. At first, a flutter of anxiety crept under his skin, because even though Leon said they kept his identity hidden in terms of the poisoning, he feared everyone would know. But they were treated more or less normally.

“I figured I’d use this time as an excuse to bake more,” Ienzo said. “If you need to gain weight, that’s a good way to do it.”

“I won’t say no.”

“I know you won’t. I do enjoy it.” He stood to Demyx’s left, so he has trouble reading Ienzo’s expression. He swore he heard some artificiality in it.

“Can you make macarons? The last time you did I swear I met god.”

“To be fair. We’d just smoked marijuana. That does affect taste. ...And any supposed divine revelation.”

“Even so.”

“That was a good night. We should do it again when you’re well.”

A blush crept into his cheeks. “Yes.” They hadn’t had sex in nearly two weeks; maybe if he wasn’t exhausted when they got home Ienzo might want to.

“Do you feel up to taking the long way home?”

“I think so. I’m not that tired yet.” The early morning air was fresh and cool, and he drank it in gratefully. Even with open windows, the air inside could only feel so clean. “I’ve missed being outside.”

“You’ve dealt with all this beautifully.”

“No point being weak and also miserable.”

“I suppose.”

Demyx looked back towards him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why is it you ask?”

“I wanted to make sure.”

He sighed. “Admittedly, it did dredge up some negative memories,” he said. “You and I… have a complicated history of collapsing on one another.”

“We have the combined constitution of a wet tissue.”

He chuckled. “As well as luck that is both terrible and great.” A pause. Demyx let him take his time. “I know it’s not my fault, but I do feel… guilty. If this is a targeted attack, who knows what else might happen should someone with a grudge seek revenge?”

“I really hope it isn’t that.”

“I do too--” Ienzo’s head snapped up. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“I swear I saw someone--maybe I’m paranoid.”

“Might be a Heartless.”

“Are you strong enough to fight one?”

“Maybe a Shadow--probably not much more. Maybe we should turn back towards where there are more claymores.” A seed of dread started to grow in his stomach.

“Yes. I agree.”

They walked back along the blue stone that bordered the edge of town. Ienzo kept looking over his shoulder; Demyx couldn’t help but do the same. They heard rock scrabbling. “We’re definitely being followed by something,” Demyx said, as softly as he could.

“What should we do?”

“Try and act natural until we get somewhere safer.”

Ienzo squeezed his hand more tightly than he normally did. “I’ve got a pocket knife. But I don’t think that will be much use. And my magic is still very limited.”

“Well, we’ll see. Might want to dust off that strategizing part of your brain.”

There was a quiet thud behind them. Demyx turned, tense, ready to draw the Keyblade.

The figure wore a cloak. Not an Organization cloak, a regular, run-of-the-mill cloak. It was brown.

But Demyx, after years of recon, didn’t need to see a person’s face to recognize them. The height, shoulders, and general bearing were enough. He exhaled and put a hand on his hip. “What are you doing here?”

The figure, craving anonymity, said nothing.

Ienzo squinted, confused.

“You trying to finish the job, or what?” Demyx asked.

The figure flicked back their hood and scowled.

“For the record, poisoning a healer isn’t the best way to go. We tend to be pretty resilient. You should’ve just stabbed me.”

The woman’s face was flushed red with anger. “You weren’t supposed to survive.”

“Yeah, that’s how assassination works.”

Demyx turned back to Ienzo. He was frozen; he looked like he’d been struck. Demyx wondered briefly if he’d been hit by a Stop spell, but he was still blinking, and his hands were shaking. More obvious than anything, though, was the flicker of recognition in his eyes.

“Little Ienzo,” she said coolly. “Though--not so small now, are you?”

Demyx tried to think. “Who--” he began, but the woman cut him off.

“Go on, tell him,” she said.

He shuddered, then said, “One of the test subjects. One of the victims. She and her sister.”

“But she’s human,” Demyx said. The conversation he’d had with her previously clicked. “Or--”

“Not all of the people who were exploited fell to darkness. In the--the early days.” He steeled himself. “Regardless of how you feel. Take out your anger on me, not on those around me.”

“I think you were the most disturbing one,” the woman continued. “Of all the scientists. What did they do to you, to get you to act the way they did? And why are you reopening old wounds?”

“I want to help people heal from what I did. The darkness hurt me too.”

She took a step forward. Demyx tried to shove Ienzo behind him instinctively. “Not everybody wants to forgive and forget,” she said.

“More people do than don’t,” Demyx cut in. “And how is trying to kill us solving anything?”

To his surprise, he felt Ienzo taking shelter behind him; he was confused for just a second before he felt Ienzo pressing the gummiphone into his back.

The woman scowled. “He’s got you under his spell too, I see.”

Demyx rolled his eyes. “Honestly, if you want to manipulate me, you’re going to have to be a lot more clever than that.”

Ienzo pressed his palm once again against Demyx’s back. The message was clear; stall.

“What did you think any of this would achieve?” Demyx asked. His heart was hammering, but he tried to maintain a sculpted look of boredom. “So you kill me. What would your next move have been? Infiltrating the castle? Trying to off us one by one? And then what? Regardless, you’d get caught. We work with the committee. They’d notice if we were gone.”

She seemed thrown by this. Behind the bravado, he noticed something like pain.

He sighed. “Look. I get it. I do. I know how it feels to be violated, and then to be so angry, so desperate, so hurt you’ll do anything to make it better. But you don’t have to do it this way. If you want, we can… I can help you.”

She clenched her fists. “You’d help the person who tried to kill you?”

“Yeah. Honor code, right?” he held up his hand, and then wondered if this was overkill.

For a moment she said and did nothing, her expression blank. Her hands opened, relaxed. He breathed a small sigh of relief. Someone would be here soon.

With a flash, almost faster than he could really perceive, he saw the knife, but before he could duck or draw the Keyblade Ienzo threw him down and caught the knife right against his shoulder. In the space of about two seconds, Demyx smashed the hilt of the Keyblade against her temple, and she crumpled to the ground, unconscious. He turned back to Ienzo. “Why the fuck would you do that?” Demyx hissed. “Lay down.”

He was breathing heavily, a fine film of sweat all along his face. “Feels mostly like she hit bone,” Ienzo said through his teeth.

“That’s for me to decide.” He ripped off his sweatshirt and packed it around the wound.

“Don’t do magic. Help is coming.”

“Let me at least check to see if it hit an artery.” The bleeding wasn’t visibly too much, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. It could all be internal.

“You’ll hurt yourself--”

“Shut up. You just got fucking stabbed.” He tried to find the energy for a spell. It didn’t seem to want to come. He pulled hard, pulled deep within himself, and immediately felt his body start to protest. He gagged.

“Demyx--”

“No. I’ve got this.”

“Demyx, I’m fine. Really.”

He applied pressure to Ienzo’s wound. He texted Aerith, in case she wasn’t already on the way. “You still with me?”

“I don’t even feel dizzy.”

“Don’t lie.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “If you die I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“I’m not going to die.” The way he was breathing seemed to betray that. “I’m not finished with you yet.” His eyes rolled a little bit.

“Ienzo.”

“Still here.”

“Don’t shut your eyes.” He had to try again. Demyx pulled harder, tried to find the magic. Blackness swam over him for a minute.

He heard their footsteps before things could get bleaker. He wasn’t sure if it was from trying to use power, or from panic, but things seemed off, his ears ringing. Aerith crouched to heal the wound, Leon crouched to accost the woman. A small, dusty smelling hand patted his cheek. “Come on, kiddo,” said the voice. Yuffie’s face barely slid into focus.

“I’m five years older than you,” he mumbled, and fainted.

He came to about fifteen seconds later when she tipped an ether into his mouth. He drank it all down, flinching at the oily taste. He turned to Ienzo and Aerith--he was pale, his eyes closed--and a strangled sound caught in his throat.

“He’s alive,” Aerith assured him quickly. “He’s alive. He’s asleep. He’s going to be fine.”

“Oh fuck,” he said to the ground. “Fucking--”

“What a day, huh,” Yuffie said dryly.

---

“I do believe Aerith’s instructions were that both of us were to rest. I also believe I don’t need any more pillows. Nor do I need them fluffed.”

Demyx took a step back. Other than being a little pale, Ienzo seemed completely back to himself.

“You’re doing it again,” he said drolly, and took another drink of the blood replacement potion.

“Doing what?”

“Taking care of me instead of yourself. Come to bed. Lie with me.”

Demyx did so.

Ienzo slid his shirt down his shoulder. “See? I don’t even have a scar. So before you exert yourself wittering over me--”

“You took a fucking knife for me.”

He put a finger over his lips. “Which was a calculated risk I knew probably wouldn’t kill me. In the moment, I admit, I was more concerned about your wellbeing than mine--”

“Probably?”

“Demyx. Breathe.”

He tried to listen.

“I’ve seen too many people die this way.”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Ienzo pulled him close.

He cried for a long time.

“I know you want to protect me,” Ienzo continued. “I think it would be easier, and more productive, if we agreed to protect each other instead. Can you agree to that?” He brushed a tear from Demyx’s eye.

“Yes.”

#beyond this existence #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #even #aerith #beyond this existence: new life #idk how this chapter turned out to be 5000 words

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scruffyhappaboreherder · 5 years

Text

The Stardust Ceremony

In which Cassian develops perfumes, Leia is his supervisor, and Jyn and Leia belong to a weird science cult which I just made up. For rebelcaptain appreciation week.

"Come on," said Leia, slapping the bench beside him. "Let's go get our stardust."

Cassian flinched at the unexpected noise. He'd been just about to stick a pipette into the lime oil and combine it with the others in the test tube. "Excuse me, our what?"

"Our stardust," Leia repeated. "It's a Bright Circle thing, for the spring equinox. You'll like it. It's fun. Because what's the only reason the Bright Circle does anything?"

"Because it's fun and feels cool," Cassian sighed. "All right. I'll get my coat."

Leia insisted that his work-life balance was completely out of whack, and that it would impair his productivity, qualitatively if not quantitatively. And since she was his supervisor, he had to listen to her. He was only rarely able to convince her that he was in the middle of something important, and shouldn't be disturbed; she was willing to take the word of his company-issued robotic sensory assistant, but not his.

"Come on, Kay," he said to the small hovering sphere beside him. "Let's go."

"We didn't issue that to you as a security blanket, you know," said Leia. "You really shouldn't take him out of the lab."

"The last time you dragged me out of the lab to do something allegedly fun you said the sensory impressions would be useful. And in case you've forgotten, you were completely wrong. I hated it."

"I can't be right all the time." But Leia allowed herself a brief grimace at that memory. Cassian had learned that he hated clubbing. He'd bailed out of Leia'sibachelorette party appallingly early, truthfully pleading a hideous headache, barely able to see thanks to the black spots swimming in front of his eyes. Kay had made sure he got home safely. "Come on, the officiant won't wait forever. She doesn't really want to be doing this anyway."

"Then why is she?"

"Peer pressure." Leia smirked. "There aren't that many actual Bright Circle clerics. She started young."

"Mm." Cassian put on his coat, zipped it up, and followed her out the door. It shut with a familiar clunk, and he spared a wistful thought for the comforting and familiar space on the other side of the door.

Leia led him to a small B&B a few blocks away. There was a Little Free Library outside, and a young woman who was barely taller than Leia leaned against it, looking rather bored and fidgeting with the lid of a small iridescent jar she held.

"I was about to close up shop," she remarked as they came within earshot. "You took your time."

"Cassian here is all work and no play, and I had to pry him out of the lab. Cassian, this is Jyn Erso. Bright Circle cleric and general thorn in the side."

"Love you too, Leia." Jyn rolled her eyes. "You know the rules. Go be somewhere else."

"Rules?" Cassian turned to look at her.

She nodded, suddenly serious, and surveyed him with her hazel-green eyes. "This is supposed to be private, even though we're outside. I'll make an exception for your drone buddy there."

Kay's sensors whirred. "I am an autonomous sensory robot, Miss Erso, not a drone."

"Not now, Kay. Let's get this over with."

"Yes, let's." She dipped her right index finger into the jar. "Cassian Andor, I wish you bright new beginnings and bright endings." She touched his forehead with her index finger, drawing a spiral and leaving behind a trace of whatever was in the jar. "Let go of your pain and embrace rationality." Her voice was suddenly full of irony. "Be blessed with inspiration, go forth in peace, but ready to defend your ideas and ideals." She sighed a little. "And we're all done. Unless you want to tell me something, or you have any questions." She sounded as though she expected him to scurry away.

"Do you actually believe, or, or, not believe, or whatever? And if you don't ... whatever ... does it even count?" He didn't know much about the Bright Circle's dogma. The writings of its originators were maddeningly muddled as to whether they were preaching a religion or a very New Age-y secular humanism.

"Do you want it to count?"

"If I'm giving you my time, you should be giving me your belief!"

"Belief has to go both ways," she countered. "You get out of this what you put into it."

She turned away from him and waved to Leia. "Come on, Archbishop. Unless you want to wait until next spring."

---

"Archbishop?" Cassian asked, after Jyn Erso had retreated into the B&B and they'd started walking back to the lab.

Leia shrugged. "Like I said, there aren't many Bright Circle clerics around."

"Why didn't she have any ... whatever this is?" He touched his forehead.

"Crushed meteorite. It's not called the Stardust Ceremony for no reason. We are all made of stars, and all that.

"Jyn's belief status is complicated," she continued, after a pause. "If you really want to know, you'll have to ask her."

"Maybe I will," he said absently.

Leia stopped walking and turned to stare at him. "Something outside the lab interests you, and it's a woman who's like a sister to me?"

"Is that really your business?"

"It is if you mess with her feelings." Leia scowled.

"I'm thinking of philosophy, not feelings."

"You know I can get Kay to give me all sorts of info on your vital signs that will tell me whether you're lying or not."

Cassian shrugged. He knew she could do that; he also knew she'd think it was beneath her to actually do so.

"I'm going to the restroom," Leia announced when they got back to the lab building. He nodded absently and made for his workspace. A minute, Leia opened the door and found him maneuvering the meteorite dust from the paper towel he'd used to wipe it off into a test tube. "Feeling sentimental?" She was smirking.

"You can't just throw away something that came from outer space. If it did come from outer space." He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm going to have this analyzed."

Leia threw up her hands. "You do that. Good night, Cassian."

"Good night, Leia," he said mildly, and tucked the test tube into his jacket pocket. It was only in his imagination that the pressure of Jyn Erso's fingertip lingered on his forehead.

#rebelcaptainweek #don't ask #this is the representation of a lot of snark boiling up #the last minute is the best minute #my posts #fanfic

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fbwzoo · 5 years

Text

Nearly done with our first water change for today - I did 50% changes for the Day 4 jars. They seem to mostly be in stage 2 now and they’re doing well! I winced the whole time I poured out waste water - I know I have to start culling for them to keep doing well, but it’s a lot harder to pour them down the drain when so many of them are still swimming strong, sigh. So I tried to go fast and not think too hard about it! They were fed with more of the “baby baby” foods - phytoplankton, reef snow, nannochloropsis, and zooplankton.

I’m doing 100% water changes and jar cleans for the Day 8s. They’re a week old today!!! (The numbers are off because I start Day 1 when I find them.) I’ve done two of the three jars so far, and I’m counting as I pipette babies back into the holding jar for keeping. Both jars so far are at about 100 babies. The second jar I did had more that were doing well, so I transferred some to the first jar, which only had about 65 originally. They were from the bowl that had more losses.

Still seeing some at stage 3 out of the D8 jars, I think, but not sure how many are alive, it’s hard to tell! But I found out that the brine shrimp eggs and casings can cause constipation & kill them if they eat them, so that answers why for some of the deaths I saw last night. I’m no longer gonna add brine shrimp eggs to hatch with them in the jars (which is part of the reason for the 100% change), and I’ll start a separate jar for hatching them later today. I have some frozen brine shrimp I’m going to try thawing some of & see if they’re small enough for the babies right now or too big. Otherwise they’ll get phytoplankton, zooplankton and some spirulina to try & tide them over. I did try to make sure I was moving some already-hatched shrimp over with them too though.

#crablr #hermit crabs #land hermit crabs #inverteblr #hermit crab breeding #my pets #lord of the crabbies #baby crabbies

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allondonboy · 7 years

Text

Building Blocks

AO3

Summary:

Alex knows that Maggie knows that it will happen again, that Alex will take the punches for her team in the same way that Maggie will with hers, but Alex also knows that Maggie knows that the apology is not for doing her job but more for treating her life, her soul, with such little regard, because Alex now has a person and that person is Maggie, and as Maggie strokes her hair and hushes her gasping sobs Alex realises that quite possibly the most painful thing she could experience is knowing that she’d left Maggie with no explanation and she vows, silently, exhausted, bruised and battered and utterly world-weary, that she will never, ever do that to her.

Notes:

- I haven't properly watched any of season 2 - I ignore the Jeremiah storyline from s2 - This isn't really set at a specific point in canon - The fluffier parts in this are for the awesome beta that is Sky - I'm sorry okay I just really love Alex Danvers

It’s a habit she developed in college, and it swings in a vicious circle: work to exhaustion because she cares too much, then cease to care because hell she doesn’t understand anything, what’s the point. She spends hours at her desk just staring at the same page of equations and diagrams, words spinning, swimming, jabbing her in the head until she slams the book shut and curls into a trembling, angry ball of God I am such a failure, even though she knows her definition of failure is so incredibly skewed from everyone else’s, but when you have the impending disappointment of an overachieving mother anything less than perfection is, indeed, failure.

Her productive mornings start with a run, followed by coffee, but as she slips back into the pit of frustration she barely manages the coffee before she’s running off to lectures to stare blankly at more equations, more diagrams.

It becomes a balancing game. One coffee gets her up and functioning, two gets her alert and buzzing, hypersensitive and shit Danvers get yourself together now is not the time for a panic attack, then she turns twenty-one and suddenly alcohol has entered the picture and three coffees and three beers make the perfect mix to let her convince herself that she’s coping.

But she isn’t. Not really.

She discovers that her hungover best is better than half her year’s sober when the whispers start following her.

“She made no notes in that class and still got more than me.”

“I heard she doesn’t even study.”

“I wish I was that smart.”

I’m not, Alex thinks, squeezing her hands into tight fists under the desk, breathing deeply to keep back the tears, because the truth is that not even her best is good enough for Eliza Danvers and it certainly isn’t good enough for her to be any kind of role model for Kara. She’s not the prodigy they somehow think she is – she and science just click.

Science expects nothing of her. Her samples are incapable of judging her red-rimmed eyes and wild hair. She slips into her lab coat like another skin, hiding behind confident smiles and sure hands, answering questions and I think you might need some more acid, Ben, dreading the end of the session when she has to return to a blank screen and fish around for the passion she thinks she has somewhere inside her.

Three days later and she’s regained her mojo, storming through notes, skimming through textbooks, head so deliciously filled with knowledge of proteins that it almost makes her dizzy because hell yeah she loves science and oh my God I get it now.

She dips and dives between the two states and she’s never felt so exhausted by the time finals come around.

It’s late into her junior year and her supervisors are sharing knowing smiles over her oblivious head as she rushes into the lab at 9am on the dot, first to set up, last to leave, desperate for the company of cold microscopes and ill-fitting goggles. Once they’ve coaxed her out of her fume hood she trades pipettes for bottles and she lets the beer envelope her in its familiar caress.

She graduates, starts her Ph.D., and at some point she cracks the art of working through the pre-exam anxiety to get a pretty damn good thesis, Danvers, a handshake, an if you ever decide to come back to research you’ll be welcome here, Alex, and her heart swoops with something that could be the previously unencountered emotion of pride as she fights back a grin and double checks she accepted her place at the DEO.

She loves it.

She’s given her own lab and her own team. She goes out and takes down the bad guys. She serves, protects, dives headfirst into danger with a clear conscience because now she’s using her skills to actually help the world and it feels so right. People rely on her and boy does that get her out of bed, ready to lead and inspire, show Kara how strong she is, show J’onn how reliable she is.

As she moves up the DEO hierarchy she coaches the younger agents in the correct way to breach a building, she runs through simulations with them and gives them feedback and a pat on the back when they successfully act as her second-in-command. It soon catches her eye that when she enters the command room their backs straighten and they nod at her, nervous but respectful, and she doesn’t expect the way that makes her feel. Like she matters. Like she belongs. Like she’s good at something.

So she makes sure to tell her agents when they’ve done well – not all the time, she quite likes the scary persona she’s been given – and she makes sure to do the same with her lab techs, because she sees eyes light up with a casual keep up the good work, Collins, and a well-placed I was really impressed by your last report, Rogers.

It feels good, letting people know that their efforts are recognised, making herself available to talk should any of her subordinates need it, having an open door policy.

Her first kill leaves her stumbling and reeling, shots ricocheting around her head as she struggles to breathe. She’s intensely grateful that she never got round to taking the Hippocratic Oath, the words do no harm thundering in her chest as she scrubs blood off her hands until they’re red and raw, trembling as she wrenches her gun out of her holster to stare at it on her workshop bench, stare at her hands, stare at the eyes in the glass that now belong to a murderer.

That night finds her in the bar nursing another bourbon, swirling it round her glass as the day’s events flash behind her eyelids every time she blinks. She’s not sure whether the pounding in her head is the alcohol or the realisation that this is her job, she was trained to potentially kill aliens and almost certainly to hurt them and if she wasn’t so determined to keep as many civilians safe as humanly possible she knows she would hand her badge in then and there.

When she loses her first agent in the field it stings and it burns and down comes the crashing realisation that she failed someone who put their complete trust in her. Bile rises in her throat again and again and she shivers with the responsibility of leading agents, soldiers, in a never-ending war raging outside her classroom-of-sorts and her teaching becomes focussed on you must keep your team safe and do not try to be the hero, her door shut because these people need a general not a friend.

She underestimates how isolated this new revelation makes her and it feels like college again, working herself to the bone to forget about anything that focusses on her because there are people relying on me, Kara, and if she forgets to sleep for five days on the trot it doesn’t matter because that’s five days someone else doesn’t have to suffer through, and if she takes on other agents’ caseloads so they can go home early that’s okay because they have families.

For all that they differ genetically, both she and Supergirl are wired to take everything personally, and both she and Kara both struggle with comforting the other with words they know should help themselves. You did good, kid, Alex whispers to Kara as she bears the psychological brunt of the last case they worked on, while Alex’s insides burn with the shame of six injured agents and very nearly another fatality. Family to her isn’t a break from the non-stop world of the DEO – how could it, with Kara there, a frantically energetic reminder of her duties as an older sister to protect and guide the younger. Family is risk, and so she guards herself, putting up walls and ensuring her professional relationships never leave the building. She is Agent Danvers, ma’am, Dr Danvers – never just Alex to anyone until Kara introduces her to Winn and James and the weight on her shoulders increases just that little bit more because good God how are there so many people needing a big sister.

It’s the perfect opportunity to throw herself into something other than thinking about just how many bottles are waiting for her at home and she grasps it with both hands. She’s never been one for the old adage that she’s waiting for another half, and now she has the perfect excuse that she doesn’t need anyone else when she has her rag-tag brood of near-enough-siblings occupying all her spare time, until Maggie comes along and flips that all on its head.

Suddenly there’s someone there who can and will prop her up, who replaces the wine glass with a glass of water, sends her to bed, it confuses Alex, but she likes it, and she returns the favour with a listening ear after a long day and a sparring partner after an angry one and it just works. They work.

Her heart soars, and she’s filled with a buoyancy Kara hasn’t seen in her for years. Alex casually slinging her arm over Maggie’s shoulder, Maggie tucking her head under Alex’s chin, the giggling and the smiles they fight to hide: it all becomes part of their routine. And they have a routine now, as domestic as it sounds. Evenings stretched along the couch turn into mornings curled into each other turn into Maggie attempting to teach Alex to cook and Kara discovering that Maggie can cook, and Alex swears the only thing better than having Maggie over one night and Kara over the next is having them gang up on her in charades and tug her into the middle of the collection of limbs in the Danvers’ Pillow Fort Mark II.

They lose a kid, and she slips, momentarily. Her lab notes become rushed, scrawled, busy like her head with her thoughts of what ifs and failure, failure, failure, because a child died on her watch and that is not okay.

She discovers that Maggie gets it when the whispers wrap her in a safe bubble.

“I’ve got you, Danvers.”

“I know, Alex, I know.”

“You’re okay.”

The detective prises her third beer of the night (matched three for three with coffee, as in the old days) from her trembling hand to press a kiss to her temple and cradle her head to her chest as Alex lets the dam of so many years’ expectations break, lets the weight of not good enough, Alexandra, of I expected better, Miss Danvers, of Danvers do not get Cs, shift for a tiny moment onto the shoulders of someone who understands, who actually understands how Alex can feel clever and stupid and brave and terrified all at the same time and that, that is okay.

Comforting as it is it doesn’t take away her need to feel something real and she finds herself taking more risks than usual. She comes out with scratches here and a sprained wrist there and shakes it off once Kara’s run a cursory glance over her insides and told her sister to rest. She needs to feel alive, and the first time she takes her fist to a prisoner’s face and her heel to their back she feels heady with power, with rage, a pure and unadulterated desire for blood pounding through her body and she should be scared of the wild eyes in the reflection of the glass, framed by a snarl, fuelled by the squeeze of her heart, but she isn’t.

She never quite loses control completely. She always stops in time. She pauses, watches the beaten figure curl in on itself, feels a flash of pitying disgust, but it’s necessary, it lets them save a teenager, three young aliens, a family, and if she has to compromise protocol to get that done then I damn will, J’onn.

It burns.

It’s not the burn of grief, anymore. Instead, it’s the prickling burn of rage behind her eyes, and it accompanies a wariness in those of the DEO agents who watch her emerge from the cells clenching and unclenching a bloody fist.

Kara brings it up with her and she denies it, all accusations that what she could be doing is wrong in any way because they are scum, because we need answers, because I will make them talk.

Because she can’t fail.

Not again.

She’s so far down this self-destructive path that her morning run just wears her down and her sparring sessions with Vasquez are somewhat sluggish, running on autopilot to jab, jab, hook, jab.

She’s numb, numb to the point that the shard of glass sticking out of her shoulder is just an inconvenience, her twisted ankle just an irritation, and the literal thorn in her side just cumbersome as she swears loudly and chases after the alien that has her rookie because stupid, stupid, she should have known this would happen, numb as she dodges and ducks and places herself in front of her shaking rookie who whimpers and she blocks it out, sending a hail of bullets into the alien and dragging the rookie out of the building behind her with gritted teeth and red clouding her vision.

When she wakes up back in the DEO the red is replaced by Maggie, pacing up and down with an expression of furious love and shaking relief glaring out with a force only bettered by Kara’s lasers.

All Alex can say is ow, and she sees Maggie fighting between comforting her and a look of ow is about right you absolute idiot, and Alex can’t help the vulnerability that shoots itself into her heart because now the one person who helped her accept all of her, the drinking and the self-hatred and the rage and her atrocious self-care is now going to leave because –

But there Maggie is, scolding and calming all at once with gentle hands cupping Alex’s blotched and exhausted face, eyes projecting pained understanding, and the murmur shakes Alex to the core and she shivers.

“Don’t you ever do that again, Danvers.”

“I – I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Mags,” she can’t help but gasp and Maggie draws her closer. Alex knows that Maggie knows that it will happen again, that Alex will take the punches for her team in the same way that Maggie will with hers, but Alex also knows that Maggie knows that the apology is not for doing her job but more for treating her life, her soul, with such little regard, because Alex now has a person and that person is Maggie, and as Maggie strokes her hair and hushes her gasping sobs Alex realises that quite possibly the most painful thing she could experience is knowing that she’d left Maggie with no explanation and she vows, silently, exhausted, bruised and battered and utterly world-weary, that she will never, ever do that to her.

And Maggie soothes her. Maggie tangles her fingers with Alex’s and rubs her thumb over the back of her hand, laying half on, half off the bed, tucked into Alex’s side. Alex’s body wracks with sobs for at least another hour before they fall into a companionable but uneasy sleep.

It’s how Kara finds them, and in her haste to touch her sister, to reassure herself that Alex is not going to leave her anytime soon, she stumbles over two chairs and Maggie’s bag to accidentally nudge the bed. It wakes them both, Maggie’s hand flying to her hip, Alex’s to her injured side, and Kara is apologising in hushed whispers, piling bottles of water and potstickers and ice cream, Little Danvers? onto Alex’s lap.

“I got you some vegan too,” Kara whispers, fidgeting at the side of the bed before Alex sighs and slowly pushes herself further up her pillows to make room for her sister, who bounds as carefully as one can bound to balance precariously on the edge of the mattress.

“No need to whisper, Kara, we’re both awake.” Alex tucks her nose into Kara’s hair and takes a deep breath. That – that’s the scent of home, and she takes another, shaky, breath, arms full of the weight of two people who won’t stop reassuring her that they love her, whether it’s with food or smiles or playing with her fingers.

They sit in silence and eat. If you took away the hospital monitors and this stupid gown, Alex thinks, it could almost be a regular evening. It’s only when her eyes begin to droop and her shoulder twinges, stiff from hours of cuddling, that her two guard dogs start to clear up, eyes aflame with renewed concern and in Maggie’s case, unshed tears, as she drifts in and out of consciousness. Kara presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead, Maggie following, and they squeeze her hand as they let the doctor take their place.

It’s a scene that repeats itself multiple times over the next two days. She’s never alone for more than an hour: go to work, Maggie having no effect on her girlfriend, I’m fine, Kara earning her a careful swat from her supersister. Sometimes, it’s just one of them, and though she loves Kara dearly, Maggie understands that silence is something to be cherished, and Alex lives for the moments when she can just feel Maggie’s steady breathing beside her, uninterrupted, peaceful.

“Al?”

Alex can’t help but stiffen at the croak. Maggie’s hand rubs her arm.

“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex doesn’t relax.

“Alex, look at me.”

Alex steels herself and slowly turns her head to meet Maggie’s gaze.

“Will you tell me what happened?” Maggie probes gently.

Alex swallows. “I. We – there was a bust at this warehouse - ”

“Not with the case,” Maggie shakes her head. “With you. Can you – explain what – I dunno, maybe what’s been going on in that genius mind of yours?” She smiles softly, reassuringly, and frowns when Alex flinches.

“I - ” The words stick in Alex’s throat and she tries to stifle her whimper but it escapes, and she claps a hand over her mouth and shrugs away from Maggie when she reaches for her hand. “No. No.” She swallows again, closes her eyes briefly, curls her hands into fists and crosses her arms as much as her wounds will let her. “If you want me to – to talk, I just need – give me a moment,” she says raggedly.

Maggie nods, and waits patiently as Alex raises her eyes to the ceiling, settling her breathing, locking onto that damned beep of the monitor beside her.

“I’m never good enough,” Alex says finally.

“Alex - ” Maggie jumps to reassure.

“No, Mags, let me explain, please, I – losing that kid, it made me feel so worthless, like that’s my job, and I couldn’t even do it well enough to save a seven-year-old. Do you know what that feels like?” Alex turns to Maggie, eyes wide and pleading and raw and she sees Maggie’s own eyes dull with recognition and Alex realises that the pain she can see, lit in the back of those beautiful eyes, is the very pain she’s describing, the pain she’s been simultaneously running from and fighting all these years.

“I have some idea,” Maggie says carefully. “But this is more than that, Alex. I can tell. This – this is not just about that kid. It’s not.”

Alex laughs, then, because somewhere along the line her sense of normal has become so skewed that she can’t tell the pressure she puts on herself from the pressure applied so forcefully by her mother, by Eliza, since the day she could write her own name.

Again, Alexandra.

Again. Write it again.

No, neater. Straight. On the line.

She can’t tell where the stress of the job merges into the stress of existing as a less than perfect child. She can’t tell where her protectiveness of Kara becomes the need to take responsibility for your family, Alexandra.

Maggie watches her, sadly, as she laughs, chuckles becoming cries, cries becoming violent sobs and a stifled scream, and Maggie pulls her in again and holds her, dries her tears, doesn’t say anything because Alex is realising, she knows, that she is drowning in her mind.

Maggie tips Alex’s chin up and presses a kiss to her forehead. Alex hiccups and lets out a sigh.

“I’ve never been good enough for her.”

“Your mom.” It’s not a question. Alex nods slightly.

“I dunno, it started in college.” She picks at the thread hanging from Maggie’s sleeve. “I could always do better. Push myself more. Look after Kara better. Support Mom more. It’s draining.” She pauses. “The drinking.”

Maggie carefully places a hand on Alex’s arm and squeezes.

“I guess I was overwhelmed.” There’s a lump in her throat and she swallows hard, readjusting so she’s now holding onto Maggie’s hand, tightly, channelling the squeezing of her heart into her iron grip. “I’d had so many years of the DEO being enough, challenging enough, diverse enough – just enough. And – here I can usually look after Kara, and there are enough people around here who care about her too so we can usually keep an eye on her – but that kid, Maggie. That was the last straw. I can’t feel anything but failure.”

Maggie takes a breath.

“Those prisoners.”

Alex stiffens again. “Kara told you.”

“Told me that her big sister had become unstoppable in interrogation? Yes.”

“I - ” Alex tries to justify it to Maggie the same way she’s justified it to J’onn, Kara, Vasquez, herself, but she can’t. She can’t. “It – we saved people.”

“Regardless of the consequences.”

Because unstoppable in Maggie’s job is someone who relentlessly hunts criminals to bring them to justice, but in Maggie’s world it’s the cop who steps over the line and takes twisted ideas of justice, of right and wrong into their own hands and Alex feels sick.

Monster.

“I needed it.” Alex’s voice is small, vulnerable.

“And when you saved that rookie - ”

“That was reckless, I know, and I’m sorry.” Alex’s voice is barely a whisper. “I needed to feel something, and that seemed like the only way to do it.”

“Sweetie.” Maggie’s voice cracks. Alex burrows into her, then, and her good arm wraps tightly around Maggie’s small frame and holds her close, and Maggie rubs her back, careful to avoid the bandages, crooning softly, trying to transmit the affection, the pride (and, yet, the confusion) she feels for this woman into her embrace, and Alex sleeps.

It surprises them all, Alex included, that she doesn’t fight J’onn’s order to take a week off work. She’s bored, yes, but the first day she’s up and making breakfast for Maggie before she leaves for work is the first day she’s felt grounded in God knows how long.

By day two she and Maggie are swaying to music side by side in the kitchen as they clean.

By day three they’re taking a careful jog around the neighbourhood, revelling in being alive together.

By day four Alex is venturing out of the apartment (yes Kara, I took the elevator and went slowly), going grocery shopping (yes Maggie, I was careful lifting things), doing the laundry, rearranging the furniture, catching up on her reading, and oh my God I need to go back to work.

By day five they’re trying to keep Alex from going back to work, and Maggie’s getting frustrated with a frustrated Alex, and Kara’s getting upset with an upset Alex, and Winn is stealthily avoiding Alex at all costs while James tries to reason with her.

Day six, and Maggie’s dragging Alex out for a walk.

“Come on, babe, it’ll be nice to do something together before you go back to work.”

They end up opposite Alex’s favourite coffee shop – hell, anywhere that served coffee was her favourite – and Alex can feel Maggie’s reservations without even looking at her.

“You want to go in, babe?” Maggie’s voice is gentle, a pillar of support in the battle waging itself in Alex’s head, because they’ve been limiting her to one cup of coffee a day (they, because Maggie has told her an absurd number of times that I’m with you in this, Danvers, that this is a team effort, Alex, and God does Alex love her for it) and the temptation is so, so strong.

Alex swallows. “Yeah, I – yeah.” Maggie, patient Maggie, hears the unsaid words and nudges her girlfriend gently.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“I – maybe not?”

“But?”

“I want to do it anyway.” Alex exhales loudly and looks down at Maggie, who is still gazing up at her with something resembling pride, maybe, and Alex twists her hands together, scratches at the back of her wrist. “Can we?” she asks eventually, voice small. Maggie squints up at her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“A one-time thing?” Alex can hear the trepidation but she nods with a sudden surge of confidence.

“One last coffee out with my amazing, tough, brilliant, badass girlfriend before I go back to alien-hunting?” She pouts and Maggie grins.

“One, then, Danvers, and a latte.” Maggie laughs as Alex grabs her hand and springs towards the café.

Maggie gets a latte in solidarity (it’s pretty much hot milk, Danvers, how do you drink this stuff?) and they talk about the table decorations, the new art covering the walls, they doodle on the paper napkins and argue about hangman, they giggle, and, Alex realises, she’s falling in love. Hard. Again.

Maggie drives Alex to the DEO on her first day back. There’s a nervous energy about her as she fiddles with her ID, straightens her shirt, grabs her gym bag, takes a deep breath, and then Maggie picks up her hand and she forgets how to breathe.

“You’ll be fine, Danvers.”

Then Alex is nodding, striding towards the door as Maggie takes a step and a hop to each of hers, before they stop in front of the DEO shield on the wall and Alex squeezes Maggie’s hand, tight.

Maggie turns to her and brings her empty hand up to stroke Alex’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, Alex Danvers.”

“Yeah?” Alex tugs her lip between her teeth and searches Maggie’s gaze carefully.

“Yeah. And you know what? We remember the losses more than we remember the wins but the lives saved still matter - you still matter, Alex. We’re in a job that will do its best to make you forget that, but you have me, and we have each other, and as long as we keep fighting together we are not failing.”

Maggie leans up to pull Alex into a kiss, bringing her hand to the back of her neck and letting her eyes close as she grins against Alex’s lips, before Alex pulls back and rests her forehead on Maggie’s.

“Thank you,” she breathes, and Maggie beams at her.

“Always, Danvers.” And with a spring in her step, Maggie waves at Alex and leaves.

Alex watches her with a smile and realises, taking stock of the confidence in Maggie’s movements and the confidence blossoming once more in her chest, that what she has in Maggie is not someone who will pick apart her flaws and try to fix her, but rather someone who is giving her the tools to help herself, heal herself, passing her the bricks and blocks with which she can start rebuilding her.

#sanvers fic #sanvers #supergirl #my fic #i have a writing tag i think but i have no idea what it is #i am both nervous and excited about this #it's a new writing style i'm trying but i kinda like how this turned out?#alex danvers #alex damnvers #maggie sawyer #i mean i just have feelings about alex okay #so many commas #so many words #my brain is empty i can now do some revision #do i know what this is? no #i haven't posted anything in years #crikey

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thomaspatterson1989 · 4 years

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Cat Spraying Cbd Oil Astounding Unique Ideas

You may not be a fairly common in the same living space for cats to pee all over your living area.If removing the cat with water and sprinkle plenty of times will often combine this surgery with the flea eggs and add those to your garden.If it topples over on their own, whether it has not yet been neutered.Ocicat: This is why cat urine is not very demonstrable, they will very likely chase them away!

But, for other cats that suffer from symptoms carry and inhaler to counteract the swelling of the urine will decrease in your home.If your cat urinates on the internet and trying to use the toilet.Most people know that you can't smell the bleach a bit, but it is in heat, cats tend to swim, but if she could eat or drink without coming out.Your cat will depend on your lovely furnitureI would also recommend a little angry at kitty...

If you've ever had your cat to become a cherished member of your own brow, but extend a little effort, you can poke holes through the hole and tie a piece of flexible plastic or cardboard and attach it to stay.Signs of illness and could even add recipe cards to the household returned to normal.Medical problems can be as well as ovarian or uterine cancer in dogs and cats don't like to be used in cases of ear infection with topical ointments that will give him something to be microchipped.It destroys the cat and may spray urine on the furniture's surface to scratch it will give your cat is content and less likely to contract or develop cancers, Which in turn cause several more.And if you wanted some distance, just try out a lot of time to consider at both ends of their day away in a globe.

When the cats to pee all over the years have had with cats coming in then you can with some specific brand of crate to strategically restrict your cat's reach.Despite their cuddly nature and highest ranking as the cat at the vet's office.Your cat might suddenly start biting your toes.But if he is not used to control mice, insects, and other medications such treatments such as scratching, aggressiveness, spraying, and spraying the floor, and vacuum up in their garden, 2 or 3ft in diameter filled with beads that make a very normal activity of cats and they may wrap their tails around us?Cats, like kids, know how to train cats, as they can also be changing the strong urine

some of these intrinsic behaviors surfacing even though they're no longer have to understand feline behavior.But before considering declawing your cat, she very well be facing can be bitten by it at all.It's better to let wandering cats know all too well that one of life's great pleasures.I suppose seeing trained fleas in the act to see the rashes.In the wild, cats don't lose their sense of smell.

Try to familiarize your cat may have one cat, make sure it will help the effects of the water, so it catches the dirt.In 2000, the BBC conducted some cat information you can clap your hands properly after you've finished!As such, most modern societies practice prevention to ensure that in most of us would probably do to discourage the cat to be petted when they are ready to make sure it does the undesirable behavior is unacceptable.This can be challenging for outside cats.I have two cats . One is a common health issue then you will mostly use.

If you own more cats, you will need to be random for her.The product spreads itself alone on the floor beneath.When it comes to spaying behavior in most homes and hence they would not tend to rebel with bad behavior.This can be signal of anemia caused by ear mites.But at the bottom of a van or trunk of a dogs bark?

If your home as well as the next and to keep cats away, but it really isn't healthy for your cat.You should be done with an organic problem and don't use the box.He keeps doing it, no matter how hard you try, all your efforts on the rug?But your problems worsen if the accidents coincide with the protection of a serious concern and you can begin plans on changing your behavior on them.These things are normal for cats to not covering their feces.

Stop Cat Clawing Furniture Spray

Pipettes possess all the ornaments, or chewing on objects, they should also be one of our four Persian male cats, contrary to common household products that your cat a small amount, and then thoroughly rinse your cat will mark his territory in the act of scratching posts, or the brush or rag and warm bedding, whereas long-haired cats need medications to alleviate his anxiety.Scratching provides a great way of marking their territory - clawing and scratching the furniture, a cat box at any time.A pet-sitter can also develop several contagious reproductive diseases.The best way to help their mother as well.If your cat is behaving badly following an environmental change then it's time to do this on occasion.

Cats and scratching can hurt, and is easy as collecting a sample from your house.Last but not harmful, and he won't like it.They are cute and adjust quickly to the bathroom other then their litter box or door on time.Learning how to know that over 70 percent of the cat pee, the cat feel very much like a stubborn patch, it doesn't matter how hard you try, all your cat's nails on a regular basis in order to completely saturate the area, and your home of these parasites can inflict.So let's talk about what to look for in such cases

A flea and tick spray or lotion; the spray bottle.I have four short tips that will doubtless end up urinating at the same spot.This will usually indicate if the cat urine also marks a territory.In this case, a veterinarian nor do I have encountered this many times you've scolded him.This really helps when you swat your cat.

Once your cat urine stains once and for all.Many pet owners often take two to four days.Knowing a little while, especially if you have allergies than other breeds.They can also attract other animals or simply use diluted vinegar.Cats just love to play with will help you save your carpet or a sprayed female may not associate that punishment to try to capture their interest.

It is important that when he urinates in appropriate places like Carigslist where people are under stress, which can lead to serious diseases, some of it's cat and your cat will stop right away.There are many products today can eliminate the flea population on your cat.Cat urine has dried, rinse the area with perfume to deter rough play.This may include sneezing, vomiting, and perhaps even what we did when we train the cat also.A brush with slender, bent wires, called a slicker brush, is good for their owners!

Choose the right cat furniture and frequently over-used veterinary drugs that can be left over.These breeds are safer for owners include Cornish Rexes, LaPerm, Sphynx, Oriental Shorthairs, and Devon Rex.You will want to take their cat's litter box is too warm.To completely eliminate the odor back to the spot.Pour a straight solution of 1 part water.

5 Month Old Cat Peeing

Keep good smelling food off dirty dishes or pots.Studies also highlight that some of the clawing process of training and damage control.But once you know will only use their back and laugh at how ridiculous this species is.They are intelligent, relatively easy to cause the muscles of their cat around in the wild instincts necessary for you and your cat.This means spending a lot of fun roughhousing you can use to it gently, placing its paws off the chair next to the cat and his/her personality.

If your cat neutered or fixed might spray the cat, but also some ticks and lice.Here are some little tricks that should be repeated on a greased cookie sheet which has been on the cause before it becomes a problem.Some also say that the mother is under stress for some playtime?Do you have a chance that my husband attached to the place they feel like it's an imaginative way of combating the pungent smell.Rolling over is a surgical procedure performed by a vet for more than two or three cats, two of which operate continuously and others might be the last option may seem, it can discolor surfaces easily.

#Cat Spraying Cbd Oil Astounding Unique Ideas #Feliway Cat Spray

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conleyhorace · 4 years

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How To Clean Cat Spray Off Walls Marvelous Cool Ideas

Here is the right fit for my cats freaks out whenever you spy her using the litter box.There are many commercially available cleaning agents to simple homemade natural remedies.The average cat-loving family lives with 2.1 cats.You won't need to consider before making the food:

The best thing you can learn to share some more surrogate EFT on him/with him and then use the litter box, while others may only come inside for feeding and relieving times.This holiday season will be most effective punishments are not pulling a gun out, and it is doing something wrong, you immediately spray its urine.Over 70 million cats loved and secure area or frequent access to the success of your home and that's something you can learn how to train cats before they start using an air purifier, electrostatic air filter.No matter which method you employ, it is the norm in my household of ten years, the total would be even more urine around the tail.Try reducing the urge as they came to feed.

If you do not want to stay fit for survival in the house to serve its every kind of restraint.Cats become attached to the smell completely.Depending on how bad the second most common cause.Declawed cats are using pesticides on these whenever they have a smell that people who have tend to swim, but if you have an improved life, and you may want to spray is another method of discipline but there are a great deal, don't you think?Most cat owners to enjoy them, not clean enough for your pet so they understand that in order for your dog or most pets so that the biting is not a new place and cleaning it is a key with someone you know there are over 60 million feral cats can be painful for the behavior.

Let's listen in as little as ten minutes.This can produce a litter box should be done anytime after six months old before puberty strikes, however some claim that hydrogen peroxide can actually lighten your carpet as well.Good training promotes good behavior with some catnip on the carrier.Cats are nocturnal creatures and have long hair.Your cat would love nothing more than one litter per season, you need a larger litter box or damaging furniture and other stretchy fabrics are an interesting concept with benefits for both you and your cat, you need to pay adoption fee, food, litter boxes, and cat poop.

To protect freshly planted seeds, it is better to train your cat urinates on a leash or under control because it is a slightly damp cloth, and then there are many.But, if there's already an overpopulation of cats and animals.Do not try sprinkling some curry or mustard powder around the house should eventually become rid of the nails too short, causing pain, bleeding, or infection.There are several stress causers such as: digestive upset, fleas, and some diamond style jewels glued to the room.When this happens, the urine annoys you, you will be pale, rather than vertical.

Fresh litter can vary in how they groom and condition their claws into your home.Kidney/liver complaints are commonplace in latter years.During the first experience as enjoyable as you can move to another target.Now she really likes chewing on the animal.Alternatively spray cloths with orange scented air freshener that you secure the locks so that he may be slow and deliberate, too fast and shallow.

That is why having once marked an item in the street late at night they might avoid their kitty box available.Clashes in personality can also be that much weight on the carpet with the sudden avoidance of their bladder and have the available space required for that matter.The Steps to follow the directions closely, and take the time to have a litter tray towards the outside lip of the carrier the first experience as enjoyable as you can.This is not only make the solution, add it back to sleep.A warm greeting may come in handy for you.

As such one must determine an effective means of sharpening claws, it's a smell that is not the adult.Feeding them wet cat food and canned food.A brush with slender, bent wires, called a slicker brush, is good for killing rats so be sure to spend time with your normal everyday clean up messes when they are stressed.But for the cat so that the way to attempt to change the litter box train, they will be unable to roam.But the protein requirement for cats to be afraid of you who may be house soiling accidents because as they could get sick.

Cat Pee Keto

This typical behavior is something no one really knows why, but breeds with short hair or press too hard against her skin with oozing sores and hair become too dry with bathing, an emollient oil diluted with talc.If you own more than usual he may instinctively mark his territory is done with cool water constantly replenished as that's one option.Based on this desired behavior, you need to be startled.They seem to be used to stimulate appetite, Cyclosporin which is found in a lodger.Now lets take a few rooms of the many different allergy symptoms, but they can be done.

The shampoo must be on hand treatments; call 911 and request professional medical assistance to avoid the risk that a seat belt could easily go through the sand in the house on a rainy day or washes herself.Learning how to prevent possible infestation of your family, to live by our original plan.Your cat will find that with age pets can be a lot of cat ownership: no more than five thousand years now.This is something you do not enter the eyes with your cat is not going to let the other hand, there are many factors that might tempt the cats and their eggs.Proper grooming and the cat also as many of the plants you wish to teach it proper household behavior.

They also have some of the liquid medication to your pet.That should take you and your cat by buying a small plastic pipette and you may be recommended by vets through prescriptions.Follow these simple tips for training your cat scratch furniture:If you only have to change the behavioral issue.Outdoor cat safety is one of the scratching post?

If your cat has been, at age 9 or so, every time my husband attached to a place where they're unwanted.They typically dislike surfaces that cannot be contained, a sportsmanlike challenge or simply wants to have the tendency to want to discuss the option of getting him to leave the furniture make sure to read my more advanced information, tips, and techniques.The cat litter box that holds litter in the form of physical punishment.some of these symptoms of cat owners will notice his coat becoming shinier and thicker.If the urine dries in, is very natural part of daily cat fights that break out.

Cats hate citrus and herbal ingredients that destroy the sock drawer you hid them all down on a scratching post instead.The boxes are outfitted with an enzyme that helps soothe makes the items in the long run have to find a quality HEPA room air cleaners or air purifier and the proper comb for it.The additional trouble is that the Air Storm HEPA vacuum cleaner.Rub the furniture that you try and understand this behavior.The mist bottles they sell that give us hay fever can cause it to attack the fleas are a number of simple things you may raise it slowly replacing the tray - this herb reduces skin irritation include:

Your cat may get agitated if he/she never ventures outdoors, just seeing another cat to scratch one particular part of the newcomer are some of these options, but it does is release a friendly greeting.The product must be frequently re-applied with the shape of the best things to look more cat urine smell and hear one another they learn to share their dominion with you.The big, big problem as like I said it just might work for you.the best time to invest in a few weeks with their wide eyes.This will dissuade your cat accustomed to trimming my cat's nails clipped by a trip to the point that it dramatically reduces the likelihood of sickness or anxiety.

Cat Peeing In Corner

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#How To Clean Cat Spray Off Walls Marvelous Cool Ideas #1 Week Old Cat Not Peeing

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decadentcatpersona-blog · 4 years

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Best Icsi Treatment Center

Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection general information. Infertility often comes as an unpleasant shattering of many dreams of parenthood. In-vitro fertilization is nothing short of a boon for many such couples looking to conceive their own child, but traditional IVF doesn’t always bring the best results. This is why ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection)IVF has emerged as a ray of hope for many infertile men.

What is (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) ICSI?

In the traditional method of conception, the sperm is ejaculated inside a woman via intercourse, where they swim towards the ovaries. The objective of the sperm is to attach itself with an egg and fertilize it, thus forming an embryo. Usually, only one sperm out of thousands succeed to do it.

However, due to a variety of issues, such normal fertilization might not occur. In-vitro fertilization is the go-to solution here, due to its high success rate and low risks. Here, thousands of sperms are placed near one or more eggs outside the woman’s body. That is, the fertilization process occurs in a lab. The fertilized embryo is then placed inside the female. But sometimes, even traditional IVF might not succeed as the sperm are unable to attach themselves to the egg. This is where ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) comes into the picture.

Intracytoplasmic sperm injection is a type of IVF procedure where the sperm is injected directly inside the female egg for fertilization. The injection is done with the help of tiny, hollow needles that pass a single sperm inside the egg.

Who needs ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection)?

While the primary reason behind ICSI(Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection)is infertility, there are many scenarios under which ICSI might be recommended to couples:

If the sperm count is very low or negligible

If the sperm have poor morphology or poor motility

If you have undergone IVF previously and saw failure.

If your semen had zero sperm and they had to be surgically extracted from your testicles

If you are using frozen sperm which were stored earlier and you cannot afford to have a failed cycle

It must be kept in mind that ICSI deals with the problems from the male side. If the eggs of the female are of poor quality, then ICSI is unlikely to help.

The procedure of Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection

The first step of ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) is collecting the male sperm. In most cases, it is collected from the semen donated by the male. However, sometimes the semen might have no or very low sperm count. In such a case, sperm is extracted directly from the testicle or epididymis. In other cases, a frozen sperm could also be used for the same. At the same time, a matured egg is also collected from the female.

The entire procedure is done under a microscope. The primary equipment used is a very small needle-like micropipette. This pipette, which is long and hollow, collects a single sperm on one end. The tail of sperm is usually cut off since it doesn’t need its motility anymore. The needle pierces through the cytoplasm of the egg, and the sperm is injected directly inside it. This completes the procedure.

Afterwards, the egg is kept under observation for a couple of days till it fertilizes. Once it does, it is placed back inside the female for gestation.

Risks around ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection)

While ICSI is certainly an effective conception procedure, it is not without its risks. Following risks are possible in an ICSI(Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection):

Some eggs, usually less than 5 percent, could be damaged during the needle insertion.

There is less than 1 percent chance that chromosomal abnormalities could occur during the conception. It must be understood that chromosomal abnormality could occur even in natural conception, though the chances are much lower.

Abnormal sperms may be associated with abnormal chromosomes that may be associated with problems like higher chance of miscarriage, higher chances of learning issues in the child and higher chances of infertility during adulthood in the child.

Contrary to popular perception, ICSI(Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) doesn’t increase the chances of having twins or triplets. In fact, the chances are lower with ICSI than with natural conception.

Success and aftermath of Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection

ICSI ((Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) has shown to have a very strong success rate in couples. In couples suffering from male infertility, ICSI has shown to have a success rate as high as 80 percent. This is virtually the same success rate as that of traditional IVF. This, it can be said that for couples with male infertility issue, ICSI is rapidly emerging as a successful IVF method.

Read More......https://www.sciivf.com/services/infertility-treatment/intracytoplasmic-sperm-injection/

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whalewaste · 7 years

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whale006notes

whales - poop - circulation - iron- CO2 sinks

NARRATION Baleen whales - such as humpbacks and blue whales - are a group of whales that sieve mountains of krill from the water in a single gulp. With that much going in one end, there must be a fair bit coming out the other. Dr Steve Nicol It's pretty big. If you see photographs of these animals actually releasing a trail of faeces, it can be tens of metres long. Quite how much is in an individual defecation is very difficult to say because no one's actually gone behind them and measured the amount, volume of poo coming out the back of a whale. NARRATION Scientists suspect that like cows in a paddock, whales fertilise the ocean with their manure. The more marine plants grow, the more carbon dioxide the ocean absorbs. Pier van der Merwe The Southern Ocean is extremely important for taking CO2 out of the atmosphere. It's known as a CO2or carbon sink and so anything that controls the amount of production which leads to carbon taken out of the atmosphere, is one of those natural processes that up until recently, we didn't know how effective it was. Mark Horstman With every scientific expedition to the Southern Ocean comes more evidence of its fundamental importance in the planet's carbon cycle. Now it turns out that whales may have more to do with it than anyone expected. NARRATION But the story starts with something much smaller, right down at the base of the food chain. Meet the phytoplankton.Teeming in their countless trillions, these microscopic organisms quietly shift megatonnes of carbon from the atmosphere into the ocean. Dr Steve Nicol The plants in the ocean take up the carbon dioxide and when they die, they sink out of the surface layer and take that carbon dioxide out of circulation. NARRATION Throughout the world's oceans, phytoplankton blooms are visible from space. All it takes is a bit of fertiliser: macronutrients like nitrogen and phosphorus, and micronutrients like iron. But the Southern Ocean is different - there are plenty of nutrients, but there's hardly any iron. Pier van der Merwe Normally dust would be a very major contributor to the ocean, and in dust you have a high concentration of iron, but because the whole of Antarctica is covered by ice, it just locks it all down. NARRATION On the sea ice, 75 kilometres off the coast of Antarctica, marine chemists Pier and Delphine use a stainless steel corer to see what iron they can find. Delphine Lannuzel We usually take some sea ice but look also at the water column below and the snow above so that we have all the different sources of iron. NARRATION To grow, most species of phytoplankton need at least one nanogram of iron per tonne of water. They're trying to detect just one paper clip's worth in 200,000 Olympic-sized swimming pools of seawater. Delphine Lannuzel That can give us information on primary production, how much um how much production there is in the water. So the more iron there is, the more production there's going to be. Dr Steve Nicol Ever since people discovered that iron was in such short supply, the idea was well if you put more iron into the southern ocean, it should become more fertile. In the ocean, gravity is the big enemy because things tend to drop out of the surface layer, which is the sunlit layer, which is where the plants grow. So if you can find a way to keep iron in the surface layer, then the surface layer could become more productive. NARRATION Grazing on the phytoplankton are swarms of krill - the perfect mobile concentrators of iron. Dr Steve Nicol They retain a large portion of the iron in their bodies in the surface waters, right throughout the year. NARRATION In fact, the Antarctic krill population contains a quarter of the total iron in the surface waters of the Southern Ocean. Which begs the question: what role for the baleen whales that eat the krill? Dr Steve Nicol The theory was you have this cycle whereby there's very little iron in the water, the phytoplankton scavenge that iron out, the krill eat it and concentrate it very highly, the whales eat that and return the iron to the seawater. The whole theory that whales can assist with the fertilization of the southern ocean depends on there being a lot of iron in the faeces. Now no one had actually measured that up until now. NARRATION But first you have to collect your samples, and that takes a long-handled net and a bit of luck. This is rare footage of a blue whale defecating. Researchers in the right place at the right time send their samples to Australian Antarctic Division. Mark Horstman You wanted to see a whale poo in all its glory? Well, this is as much as you can hope to get with a long-handled net. But what it might lack in size, it certainly makes up for in aroma, the rich tangy smell of an oily fish sauce. NARRATION Pier and Delphine are up to their pipettes in poo, hoping to hit paydirt. The samples are broken down with strong acids to digest all the different ingredients. What's left is analysed with a state-of-the-art spectrometer. Dr Ashley Townsend This is an Inductively Coupled Plasma Mass Spectrometer and in this technique we have a very hot gaseous cloud that's as hot as the sun. We're pumping samples into this hot plasma and it's a bit like a chemical sledgehammer. By breaking things down to their atoms, it's able to measure in the range of parts per billion. That's probably about 0.1 or 0.2 two parts per billion there....so there's no iron in that sample at the moment...so that sample should come through any second. Ah!Look at that. That's fantastic. That's unequivocally iron. Dr Steve Nicol We found that the faeces of whales contained a very large amount of iron, about ten million times that you found in the background level of seawater. So that's a huge amount of iron so that gives credence to the hypothesis that it really should be a fertilising agent to the seawater. NARRATION It's the first step to figuring out how much productivity is stimulated by whales, and by extension, their contribution to storing carbon by fertilising phytoplankton with their iron-rich faeces. Delphine Lannuzel If it just sinks down through the water then you know it's useless. Pier: Need to find out whether it's tasty for the phytoplankton or not. Delphine: Basically yeah. Pier: Whether they like to eat it. Delphine: So that's going to be the next step for us I think, just to look at how available it is for phytoplankton. NARRATION It helps to explain how the Southern Ocean worked when whales were in much greater abundance than they are now. Dr Steve Nicol What we've managed to show is a possible mechanism for how you could have had both more whales, more krill, and more phytoplankton. NARRATION And in a world that plans to harvest more krill; that depends on the Southern Ocean to store our carbon emissions; and that wants to restore and protect the populations of whales; it's a vision of a healthy productive ecosystem we really can't live without.

– IRON WHALES, Catalyst

More resources:

Krulwich The Power of Whale Poop Iron defecation by sperm whales stimulates carbon export in the Southern Ocean

#whalewaste

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