If anyone draws red son x jack spicer I will forever be indebted to youi m so normal about them PLEASE

hate that i have the brownie curse where i can't do shit if people are around

I’m genuinely surprised how much I love nursing. Every shift, I get to meet and help so many people. I’m float pool so I go to the whole hospital, but I’ve also been floating for a while so everywhere is familiar. Sometimes it’s hard for me to walk through the hospital because I know so many people I pass, and we keep stopping to chat. I float to seventeen different units. That’s crazy! I know so much about the hospital! Every night I’m somewhere else, working with a different team and a different group of patients. The constant novelty and familiarity of floating is delicious.

And I love my patients! I know this all sounds so goody two shoes, but I love that I get to help so many people in so many ways. I only get them for one night, so I try to give them my best. I love tucking people in with warm blankets, I love explaining what I’m assessing to a patient with a new diagnosis, I love having heart to hearts with patients at three am when they can’t sleep, I love making people hurt less and stop throwing up. And you can be a real scamp about it. I love stealing snacks from other floors. I love when a patient is like “god I’d love some chocolate” and I get to be like “sir I know the location of every candy drawer in the hospital, I can get you some chocolate.” Or like figuring out like a cheat code for alleviating symptoms. When someone’s like “wow this heating pack rules” and then falls asleep instantly? It feels good and it’s fun. I have a lot of fun figuring out how to cheer up my patients in minor little stupid ways.

I never have to wonder if my job contributes value to the world. When I go home at the end of my shift, I can always think of something I did that makes me feel proud. That rules! It’s so fun to be proud of yourself! It’s so fun to know that what you do matters and that you are doing it well. And if I don’t feel proud, I have a drive home to think about why and I get a chance to do better next shift. And that’s good too. There are nights where I can feel the way I let someone down, and I have to sit with that, and I have to learn from it.

(And I don’t want to sound like I’m crushing it always super-nurse style, like I’m completely immune to ableism and the other -isms, or that I’m never lazy or callous or checked out. I’m new and I’m learning and I’m human and I’m tired and I’m not always living up to the person I hope to be. But I do get a lot of opportunities to make up for it and try again. That feels good.)

And I love teaching new nurses! I love having to constantly keep studying so I can be in a position to teach anyone anything. I love watching people get better at stuff. And I love that as I’ve gotten more confident as a nurse and a person who trains new nurses that I’ve started coaching more and more on the soft skills of nurses. Those are really hard! We should get as much practice with therapeutic communication as we do with Foley catheters!

Also where I work pays good, and I’ve got great job security, dude, I can buy so many stupid little trinkets. I was so nervous when I decided to go to nursing school that I was fucking up my life and other people’s plans for a job I wouldn’t even end up liking. I’d literally never worked something remotely close to healthcare when I decided to go to nursing school. I’d been in a hospital like once. I feel like this big life change shouldn’t have worked out nearly as well as it has, but hey it’s really fuckin cool it did

Hammy saw the ghibli bakery and decided to make biscuits

Ugh the thing with Gortash selling Karlach to the devils is.... Why isn't everyone doing it? Why isn't everyone selling people that they don't like to the devils? Why isn't Bob selling his neighbor who plays loud lute music at 2 am, why aren't politicians constantly selling their enemies, why hasn't Susan sold Janice to the devils for book club crimes? Generally most universes will say that you can only sell your own soul to devils. But if you CAN sell random people to the devils why aren't more people doing it?

ITS NOT A FURRY... ITS A EMO CAT

everyone pray my thesis consultant isnt homophobic lol tonight ill have to explain to them that my thesis is actually about queer people having fun and being violent

oh merrill...

Sometimes I remember how everyone acted about Lilith and I get so mad. Lol.

day 45 - naptime

so we're adding havers to the list of sad gays named anthony

aira in a dress… save me aira in a dress

Every day I try not to be a hater to people in fandom who completely fall for a characters facade or false perception of themselves. Like girl the narrative device tricked you.

all right so now that EN-only people have had a fair chance to get through the white rabbit fest event, i can mention these scenes that i was originally going to add to my autistic silver post before deciding i didn't wanna use JP stuff as evidence:

this disney princess boy can fit so much autism in him <3

i haven’t done 4.2’s archon quest yet but oh my god i’m scared. not because of the actual content but bc i know fontaine will be over when i do. like i am not ready.