#and she said it's bc none of them ever saw their parents fucked up or giving up
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since my mom moved out I've thought from time to time about why exactly I was so hurt by her when I can't even remember most of the actual things she said/did to me when she was angry (just that they happened and I hated her for it). I ask myself if it's useful to continue to care about it or if it's possible to totally divorce myself from it and be someone who doesn't feel wounded. on the ride home from NY M's mom and I were talking about my concerns about being like my mom/my son turning out like I did and the similarities between her daughter who is kind of estranged from the family and my mom. she said that it hurts her daughter's kids to see her fucked up, which she doesn't hide from them, and that they feel like there's no point behaving well because their mom will find something to lose her shit about anyway. that was enlightening for me bc that's exactly how my mom was... it was nice to hear someone say that that sort of behavior is hurtful
#and everyone in m's family drinks a lot which has had me wondering why i resented my mom for it so much#bc they're all really close like there is no resentment between parents and children in their family#and she said it's bc none of them ever saw their parents fucked up or giving up#like yeah m knew his mom always had alcohol at home and drank often but he also saw her working 3 jobs#and when she quit 2 of them he saw that it was bc she was being promoted at work#same w/ her dad she said he literally always had a glass of wine in hand but she can't recall him ever being drunk. + he provided for them#compared to my mom who quit working and let my dad pay 2 households' bills and spent all day getting drunk talking on astrology forums#like that's why there was no respect between us it's not just the simple fact of her drinking
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"Ummm they toned down the abuse from Gabe in Percy Jackson because it's a kids show, stop being mad about it"
Ignoring the fact that it's also a children's book, let's take a look at some children's media in the last couple decades that depict parental abuse towards children that isn't physical, but still makes the abuse feel real:
1. Harry Potter. I'm loathe to even put it on here bc of how much I hate JKR, but HP DOES depict child abuse in probably one of the best ways of any modern media. As far as I can remember (correct me if I'm wrong), the Dursley's never lay a hand on Harry. But it is never even questioned if they're awful people towards Harry - they literally make him sleep in a closet.
2. Matilda. Like do I even need to explain this one? Abuse from not only her whole family (again, NONE of it physical from what I recall), but also from other authority figures. And she's not the only character who deals with parental abuse - Miss Honey is a grown adult shown to be dealing with the negative effects of an abusive parental figure.
3. Phineas and Ferb. Laugh all you want, but Doofenshmirtz's parents were genuinely awful to him. His stories are just tamed down in a way that's palpable to a much younger audience while still also being clear abuse - a young child can chuckle at his stories but STILL understand why maybe some of his stories would turn him evil.
4. Avatar the Last Airbender. Zuko's father physically disables his own son. Not to mention the constant emotional neglect and manipulation on top of it, the writers never held back on how bad his father was. Even if he hadn't scarred Zuko, he would still be a clear depiction of an abusive parent.
5. The Willoughbys. The parents are so awful that the kids literally plot to murder them. The parents abandoned them to freeze to death on top of a mountain. Enough said.
6. Percy fucking Jackson.
Percy Jackson IS a book made for kids that depicts child abuse from a parent - and not only does it depict child abuse, it depicts spousal abuse.
I know Percy doesn't know that Gabe is physically hurting Sally in the beginning of the book. But we as the audience know that Gabe DOES hurt Percy. There is not a single sign in the new show that Percy has anything more than a snarky, annoyed view of Gabe.
Gabe is supposed to be smelly and disgusting, a drunk (which, even if they can't depict that in a Disney show, you can still play around with his grossness), a slob, and a gambler. He's barely even greasy in the show. Literally they could have just had him belch a few times or eat messily and it would have given off a better impression of his character. Instead, he just quips back and forth with Percy and then later is just...whining. He's whiney. He does not ring as a man who abuses his family, emotionally OR physically, he rings as a pathetic step-dad figure who can't support himself (which is ALSO not canon, because in the book he runs an auto store! His abuse towards Sally is not for lack of money, it's just because he's a dick!!!) The fact that I think that Doof's parents in Phineas and Ferb are more overtly abusive than him on screen is actually absurd.
And Sally fell flat. Her character in the book doesn't yell literally ever - not once in the whole series can I recall her legitimately yelling at someone. Her persona is kind and gentle in the books and as for wits, she's clever, and sneaky, and cunning. She fights back with Gabe in ways that we as the audience can see, but Gabe misses because he's so dense.
Take the bean dip scene.
In the show, she basically is like "Yeah yeah I'll make the bean dip, shut up" and Gabe just whines about the sour cream while they yell at each other.
In the book? That's her bargaining chip to take the car for the weekend. That's her ticket out of the house. Bribery. Not just placating a whining husband - she bribes him in the books.
And her yelling back? Just feels so unnatural to Sally Jackson as a whole. I saw someone say she feels like Disney girl-bossed her, and they're right. She doesn't feel like Sally Jackson. She feels like just another cut and paste Disney woman who's snappy and doesn't take shit.
And to be clear - the OG Sally Jackson also didn't take shit. She was just so much more clever about it, in a way that made sure Percy never saw her actively yell. She doesn't have to be snarky and rude to get her way. Percy knows she's fighting back without physically fighting, and that's what makes her so strong. Sometimes you have to fight more with your wits and cleverness than you do with screaming and fists
(Gee...wonder what other character Percy ends up really admiring that also holds that philosophy in life?)
Anyway...all that said, stop blaming the fact that it's a children's show on Gabe's watered down personality. Children's shows/movies and family shows/movies have been depicting serious parental abuse and neglect for decades, in both realistic and more humorous ways that don't take away from the neglect. Kids can handle it, because there are kids going through it.
To say that "It's a kids show, kids shouldn't have to see that," is a disservice to the kids who need to see that, so they know that they can get away too, and they don't have to get physical to do it.
Also, this version of Gabe? Doesn't deserve to die. He's just annoying, not an asshole that scares Percy more than literal monsters do.
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ok ok I got an idea
what if Miguel ohara found an orphan who was a spider and decided to raise her🥺
I love this sm🥺🥺🥺
Under my wing
Fatherfigure! miguel&spidy!teen!Fem! Reader
Notes: some angst at the start but the rest is fluffy, good dad miguel, distrustfull reader at first, road trip writing, hcs and drabbles, can you tell i can't write good father figures? That's bc mine doesn't like emotional support:) not proof read
💙Miguel was fighting off an anomaly with some other spider people, shouting orders left and right, when he ordered some feral-looking spider and she went exactly against his order which he was gonna follow them, save her and then scold her about being reckless
🩵but then he noticed that that specific spider was not from his team
💙he saw her swing forward, hit the anomaly with both legs, knocking it off it's feet, and he took that chance and tied it up with webs
🩵she did a couple flips and landed, looked back, and miguel could feel her intense stare at him
💙he was about to call out for her, and maybe even invite her to the spider society
🩵With a roll of your eyes and a "tsk" you jumped forward, swinging away
💙when miguel returned, he searched up your earth and information about you
🩵he found out that you only a teenager living a double-life, been bitten by a spider as a child, and that your parents were your canon and that you're alone in there
💙so he visits your earth a lot to check on you
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
~you said goodbye to your friend and watched them disappear from your sight, leaving you with that uncomfortable feeling of eyes on you, you felt this way alot ever since those many spiders appeared the other day
With a sigh you walked over the little abandoned apartment complex you lived in, put your back pack there and put on your spider suit to patrol the streets
Miguel on the other hand, he only got more protective of you and needing to keep you safe as he watched from afar
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
🩵you didn't see miguel again until another gaint anomaly destroyed your home
💙you were just taking the sight in, the rubble, the dust, the destruction, another home crumbling before your own eyes, and again you couldn't save it, so you just stared at it, thinking what stuff of yours survived,probably none
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
You sighed, deeply, then, your spidey senses were ringing in your head, you turned around, ready to fight whoever it is, pulling down your mask
It was that big spider-man, and you felt uneasy about his stare, but you pulled your mask off anyway
" what" you attacked,no actual violence in your voice, you were so tired, and now even more homeless then before
"you're looking at the apartment complex a little too long" he answered, calm, yet somehow knowing? You hated that
"yeah well i lived there" you rolled your eyes
"it looks abandoned?" he inquired yet teased, you hated the brain games he's playing
"i never said others do, also cut the crap, what do you want" you snapped weakly
"ok" he lifted his forearms in front of him "i noticed that your are most times alone, and homeless as it turns out and i wanted to invite to the spider society" he offered
You were quiet for a moment
"so it was you" you yelled, annoyed "why the fuck were you stalking me like that, was it so hard to
talk to me?"
"no but i need to know you before inviting people into my society" he reasoned
With a scoff you asked "what's this- pfft- i don't know spider group thing?"
"a society from people just like you from other universes, team up and fight off what might be in the way of the smooth running of multi-verse, seeing your circumstances, i think you'd like it" he adviced.
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
🩵And boom! You→in spider society!!
💙you sticked to miguel's side most time, he didn't mind one bit
🩵you'd sit in his office while he works, scrolling on your phone/tablet (or whatever you like) that miguel got you despite you arguing that he didn't have to
💙"I've seen the kids carrying them around, i think its important to y'all or something " he argues,knowing damn well that its a luxury thing
🩵you get him lunch everyday and you two eat it together, talk about stuff and all that father/daughter all that good stuff
💙you two joke around lots too! You'd crack a joke and he'll chuckle and add to it until you're crying laughing
🩵you join him on most missions, its more of you swinging and playing around and helping whenever you can, and he actually fights it off
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
"oh my god!" you yelled when he stopped beside you "are you spider man!?" you asked him, acting like a fan girl who just saw her dream idol
His wide eyes turned into an eye roll at you as he swung away again
You laughed about to get down from the wall you were clinging on, when it broke with some force, knocking you down
A surprised noise tore off your throat as you fell down, you turned around, your back facing the ground, looking for something to web yourself to
On the other hand, miguel felt the life leave his body
He's losing A daughter, again, he couldn't let that happen
He swung to you, wrapping you in red webbing just as you webbed yourself to another building, he pulled you up to him and held you
"are you ok!" he checked frantic, looking you over for the smallest cut
"I'm fine" you smiled "it just caught me off guard "
He sat you both on a surface, gears turning in their head, then he took a deep breath "go back to HQ" he told you, voice gentle
"what? Why!?" you asked, surprised by his offer
"just do what i say.. Please" he pleaded
"alright.." you argeed, releasing his arms as they lowered from your shoulders
Stepping back, clicking a few bottoms on your watch, making a portal appear behind you
"be safe!" you said, before stepping into it
•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•❥•
💙you two didn't talk about that day since
🩵you of course knew about his daughter and past
💙 that day, he acted weird, and you just thought that it was because he had a long day
🩵he became more protective of you, not letting you go to as many missions as before, it annoyed you a bit but you chalked it up to you being reckless and careless and he couldn't have you fucking up missions
💙he'd call you things like "mija" or "niña" yk indearments and cutesy stuff like that
🩵you're so petty most times, and you like to get under his skin so you and lyla gang up on him
💙he doesn't like hobie being around you, but you do, soo that's that..
🩵he teaches you (mostly technology) stuff and answes all your questions
💙after a year and some months, you gave him "the best father" gift card on Father's Day and he went home and cried about it
🩵after that he became even softer (somehow) with you
💙"I'm proud of you"s and "good job kid"s were a reaccuring
🩵he asked to move in with him from the HQ rooms and you agreed, and hugged him
💙he spends more time off now, with you, learning more about you hobbies and interests, cheering you on
🩵you started calling him dad, he teared up the first few times when you did, still warms his heart everytime
💙he helps you with school, and not in a "WHAT'S 5 TIMES 7 while you cry " kinda way lol
🩵he scares off any dating possibilities too
💙if you have a bad day, he'd be a lil sad that you didn't call him first thing, but he'd buy you/make you your favorite food and sits with you and listen to you ramble about it if you want, if not, he'd sit with you on the couch watching a movie
🩵he lets you do wierd things on his face ( "dad they're called face maskes!)
💙he tells you dad jokes ironically, you always roll eyes at him
🩵you're an endless supply of old man jokes ("mija I'm not even that old what the fuck")
💙so yeah,it's happy vibes all around
You guess it, next is probabs platonic hobie
#spider man: across the spider verse#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara#miguel x reader#miguel o’hara x platonic reader#miguel o'hara#platonic reader#spider man 2099#spiderman 2099#across the spiderverse#spider reader
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can you pls write the jily concept with james potter & reader pls i beg — ALSO your work is amazing & ily
THIS CONCEPT and james >>>> ily too bby
ever since the first moment that james potter saw you he knew that you were the one.
i’m not even kidding, he saw ur little eleven year old face on the train and was like, i’m gonna marry her!
the first thing he did was flirt with you, cheesy 11 year old style
you however weren’t having none of it and that just made him simp even more
since day one he would preach about how you’re the prettiest person ever
sending you notes in class with scribbled compliments and flirting
the teachers ship you two
they have their own bets on when or if you’ll finally give in
sends letters home to his parents absolutely gushing about you to them
fondly calls you ‘my future wife’ or ‘the love of my life’ in the letters
when you all go home after your first term at hogwarts, he’s immediately gushing to his parents about you
‘she’s just so pretty!’
‘she has the kindest heart ever, you’ll see mum and dad, she’s perfect!’
‘i could listen to her talk for the rest of my life!’
HE’S SO IN LOVE.
when you guys get a tad older he’s literally always asking you out
ofc it’s in an entirely heartwarming way but either way the public attention stresses you tf out
spends all lessons he has with you making heart eyes at you
his friends are sick and tired of hearing how pretty you are, how he’s gonna marry you someday, how you’re so kind and genuine, how you’re the most intelligent person he knows, how he loves your passionate ranting, how your smile makes him smile, how your laugh sounds like angels singing-
even tho they do know how amazing you are, jamie boy can be a bit much
the both of you are always in conversations around the school
some ppl are mad that he’s so infatuated w you he won’t glance at them but stay mad hoes 😊😊😊😊
everyday compliments & flirting.
your friends either find it amusing, encourage you to give him a chance, or are w you in your annoyance
however... in the ending of fifth year ish something changes
let me set the scene babe
you’re at a party in the common room with your friends after a victory for gryffindor, you look so good and you’re actually having the time of ur life
then remus, a good mate of urs, comes up to you is extremely apologetic but he claims he has to take care of sirius and asks for your help to take care of james
you’re naturally v reluctant but seeing the genuine stress laced into his tired features makes ur heart ache a bit so you agree
he’s nonstop spewing thank yous as he takes you over to the secluded place where he’s put a literally black out drunk james & sirius
as soon as james sees you he jumps up immediately and stumbles happily into you, babbling drunkenly about how much he loves you
‘you’re my favourite person ever ever ever ever i lobe you so much’
‘you’re the most beautiful person! if i could draw you i would and id frame it..you’d be more famous than the Mona Lisa!’
‘you look so good- thought m’heart was gonna jump out my chest when i saw you!’
and as you’re sitting down with his, his head nestled into your shoulder and body positioned towards u, listening to him slurring-ly ramble about why he loves you so much & how he loves you so much
your heart melts a bit
having someone genuinely care for you like this.. you thought it was some elaborated prank for his entertainment but hearing all this.. it just makes you rethink a bit
the next day he’s incredibly hungover and doesn’t remember much of the night - doesn’t remember your interaction
and remus decides to keep it hushed bc if he knew he’d be jumping all over the place
but by some fucking miracle you’re acting less cold toward him
the first time you smiled at him directly, james fainted 💀
the first time you unabashedly giggled at something he said, he spaced off the rest of of the lesson replaying that sound
the time you patted his arm in thanks, his friends had to force him into the shower bc he refused to wash off ur touch
he doesn’t know why or what happened but he can’t remember a time when he was so happy !
he writes to his parents and screams over the letter about how you’re actually paying attention to him and how his plan is starting to work
meanwhile remus watches everything with a small silent smirk, incredibly proud of himself
#james potter#james potter imagine#james potter x y/n#james fleamont potter#james potter x you#james potter x reader#james x reader#james potter imagines#the marauders#the marauders imagine#jily#jily trope#sub james potter
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hello again, it’s me, here to word vomit before i make myself crazy but this time it’s about the barbie movie 🤩
the barbie movie sincerely was one of the most incredible movies i’ve ever seen tbh. it was beautiful but it was painful and tbh that’s the essence of being a woman
there were several different themes throughout the movie and fuck i really didn’t think this movie would cause me such incredible amounts of psychological damage 😃
what happened between ken and barbie when ken just starts being fucking MEAN and he’s so mean and it just broke my fucking heart and had me sobbing in the fucking theater because my “ken” was so fucking mean to me and to see this innocent barbie get a verbal thrashing for the first time for the boy who means the fucking world to her just sucked so bad because once he hurts you like that the relationship never recovers. what barbie and ken when through is EXACTLY what it’s like to have a close male friend in childhood who eventually grows up to objectivity and crucify you for not loving them back
“where i see live she sees a friend, what will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?”
like he’s SO obsessed with barbie and she DOES love him but he refuses to accept the love she does have for him because she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, like barbie wants to be her own person and she wants that for ken too
it was genuinely such a surprisingly visceral reaction to ken being so fucking mean to barbie, as a little girl you don’t ever get that innocent friendship back once he starts being fucking MEAN and i think that’s so fucking heart breaking bc as a woman who has experienced that kind of thing the it’s just so fucking upsetting to look back on what should be such fond fucking memories only for them to be tainted with what “ken” threw in your face and said
the other plot point that really really got me was the mom shit, like damn everybody said if you got mommy issues fucking watch with caution and they were NOT lying
i’ve got mommy issues bc i’ve got a mom that bullied me and even tho i know she loves me bc she’s my mom it always fucking felt like she hated me, the barbie movie made my heart ache bc it made me feel empty. i have a mom and i’ve always ALWAYS wanted what other girls had. i wanted the mom that wanted to play with me, I wanted the mom that made snacks and picked me up after school, parents that didn’t leave me home alone for an entire weekend when i was only fucking eight years old
i saw this tiktok that talked about how this girl and her mom went to the movie together and they were hugging and crying during the beautiful montage of mothers and daughters and i just felt empty
i couldn’t ever imagine watching that movie with my mom, honestly the thought makes me uncomfortable and that makes me really sad
you know i’m kinda surprised by how much this movie really fucked with me,
doesn’t help that my cousin’s 22nd birthday was a few days before this lmfao
even better she posted a video on insta of her from when we were younger, i saw it and i burst into tears bc that’s my big sister, even if we always wanted to pretend we were twins
we were girls together
we played barbies together and on day that just disappeared…
one day we put down our barbies for the last time, packed them up in those big stupid barbie travel cases for the last time and watched them get sold at a yard sale
we still played together, we played animal jam, poptropica, animal crossing, just dance wii sports but none of that feels as sentimental as when we played barbies together…
i never did that with anyone else
doesn’t help that speak now (taylor’s version) just recently came out as well and listening to a 33 year old taylor sing never grow up just kinda really slapped me in the face you know
she was 9 and i was 8 the first time we ever listened to that album together and it was really special getting to listen to the new version with her too and i’m just in this really weird fucking place in life wondering when the fuck i grew up and how i missed so fucking much of my own life because i don’t really have any memories prior to the age of fucking 16
i turn 22 in 2 months…
and all i’m left with is this yearning for simpler times, times before i knew anything about the world when all i was worried about was my barbies and some new fantastical adventure that we were going to send them on
i’m left with this vague impression of memories from times i don’t fucking remember and the only shit i do remember is the traumatic or sad shit
but you know what i’ll keep my rose tinted glasses on for the few precious memories i do have because if fucking refuse to let reality have all of my girlhood, some of it i get to keep for me
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loggin in
i’m so sleepy for whatever reason, i slept at idk 12 pm last night and hardly woke up at 10, it’s 4 pm now and i just can’thelp but shut my eyes off, i have an exam in two days, and i’m way underprepared, a former friend was a total douchebag to me and my other friend, former for a reason, when i tried to call her out for it she started attacking me like she is an angel from the heavens stating facts while she was turning tables into her own favor while none of her talk made any sense, what bothered me is her confidence, and the way she kept increasing her voice while aintaining an innocent look, this sort of bullshit reminds me of how awful she was back in our childhood, how imcredibly understanding i was, how distant and away from confrontation i was so i won’t get caught in her ugly bullshit, and how i saw our other friends treat her because of her stupid acts, i thought that’s it, people are cruel, inconsiderate, i don’t remember much but i remember this conclusion, i remember how alone i felt, how my observations led me to treat her like a baby so she was my good puppy, and the rest of our friends can not comprehend how can i be so patient with her, it was fear, dissociation, dehumanization i might say, she loved me and i didn’t care, i was being kind,i was giving her a hand because oh wounded bird, give her enough love and she’ll do better, as if it ever worked with my parents, shitty attitude remains always a shitty attitude, not your problem fofo, she remained a baby and i had enough, then i thought i was being cruel so i came back to pat her shoulders, come on fofo, cruel is okay, especially when you’re not a rehabilitation centre, especially when people refuse to grow nicer to you, just because everyone should be nice not because i’m nice to you goddammit, she grows more and more fucked up, and i again had enough of her constant never ending bullying to everyone and everything, her immature attitude towards, her existence now gives me fucking hives, i never knew how to handle that bullshit, and i don’t know now, and i don’t wanna know, it’s an awful game, i won’t allow her near me, i won’t conversate with her, i won’t argue with her, i won’t make plans with her. and good god if she uttered a word about our last encounter i would rip her to peaces, bitch i didn’t ask u to get anything i was politly explainaing why i wanna do this simply not to go behind ur bac, i wasn’t mean, i wasn’t rude, i didn’t keep telling u what i think about it, just like how u commented about that thing our friend suggested, i didn’t mind purchasing it bc yes i knew she wanted it anyway, but yes if i was there the minute u were deciding i would’ve said smth, so i’m also explaining why i wasn’t rude and purchased it anyway u stupid cunt, and that’s fucking valid u insane bitch, people get to have different opinions but they disagree politely without being dismissive or a fucking bully ya zbala, I disagreed politely i was never the bitch that u r, go learn some fucking manners first and then come talk to me, so yeah, my point is, she is disrespectful child and i was raised by one and it’s really difficult for me to deal with, even tho i know i’m on a solid ground, i just can’t be on their level, i would curse u that’s all, i hope u won’t get to raise kids until u learn to be a truly good person, so u won’t shatter them like my mom did, u and her should learn alot, and the hard way, because u make life incredibly hard for every fucking human being around of you and it’s just exhausting, what u r? u r dysfunctional coward fucks. what am i? i’m just tired of ur bullshit, and i will do my best not to enable your tantrums, none of this crap will get a hold of me, not my mom, not you not any manipulative asshole out there, i know you, i see you, i will let u burn in your bile of shit, i will grow out of your influnces, i will.
now umm, i’m still sleepy, my exam is still in two days, i still despise that whore,
but what else
i’m burning this candle, it smells of heaven, i have a small yellow light on yet the light of the day is still by my window, it’s so cozy and calm, except that i’m not? or am i? exams month is the most stressful time of the year for me, a year ago i thought my right hand is paralyzed one day, the other i thought i’m dying and skipping my exam, yet i attended my exams, i skipped two bc i procrastinated my way till the second one and i skipped the third because i almost died on my second one so, my procrastination makes all the sense, but i can fight it, i did, i fought my anxiety and i didn’t hide from life, life wants livig and i lived and lived and lived, life doesn;tcare if you’re in your bed, sure u gotta rest, but make up for that time if u want to achieve a certain thing,or if u wanna achieve happiness u know, as happiness is life.
so i got every right to be so exhausted, not really happy most of the time, but i also gotta know that if i wanted to move forward and feel happy ever in my life, i gotta get moving and search for what could make happy even for a little while.
and i know i will get my rest, and i’ll go to the sea
damn that bitch is stressed about her trip to the sea because of no one but her family. maybe in another episode i’ll try to accept them, for now i just be and they just be, i”ll get my room, my kettle! won’t need to move around their awful energy, just me and my sea
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hi! can you do one where draco and the reader are married (don’t make them old please make them like the married rich pretty milf and dilf couple), and they have a daughter. anyway, draco is out because of work/something else (it’s up to u) and the reader is with their daughter and they get into a small fight and the daughter says something really bad/hurtful to the reader (her mother) and the reader like gets sad (make it bad so it can be dramatic😏) and when draco gets home he finds the reader like crying (smoking too bc a milf smoking is hot but if you don’t want to add it it’s fine) and yeah basically the rest is up to you :)) ily hope ur well and fine. <3
CIGARETTES & INSECURITIES | D.M
thank you hoe @selenesheart for helping me with the title ily
warnings: anxiety, lowkey panic attack, insecurities of being a bad mother, mean child, smoking, angst w a happy ending
———
draco’s hurried steps were heard echoing across the hallway as he rapidly made his way downstairs, cussing his boss out under his breath for calling him on a fucking Sunday. the same sunday he was about to spend basking in the love of his wife and child, all expectations now turned to mush.
“i’m sorry i have to go, my love. call me if you need anything, okay?” spoke draco, tone soft as he held your face in his hands, giving you one last sad smile before pressing a sweet kiss on your lips.
you gave him a feeble nod in response with a reassuring smile, watching him storm off in long strides, still swearing in hushed whispers and with a flick of his wand, he was gone.
you instantly took notice of how intense the atmosphere got around the manor- almost scary. deadly quiet with your four-year-old toddler still asleep and big curtains blocking any sunlight from coming in.
it almost caused goosebumps to rise on your arms as if the universe was already warning you of the day you were gonna have to deal with today.
maybe the first bad thing to happen today was being woken up by draco’s phone going off like crazy with calls of his boss and endless text messages of his colleagues.
it didn’t matter though, you had other things to worry about. your toddler was already walking down the stairs with a sleepy stare as she made her way to you, immediately taking notice of how there was no trace of draco, and looking around for any signs of her father.
“hi there” you greeted, giving her a sympathetic smile when she asked for draco, her small body already wrapped around your torso. a small sigh with a brief explanation of a work emergency was given to her. her sour mood amplifying a tenfold for every word that left your mouth.
she stayed quiet for a moment, and just as you started beaming at the thought of calming a daddy’s girl- she sobbed heavily in your ear, clinging hard to you but still screaming for draco.
a grimace found its way to your face along with a sorrowful expression as you shushed her down, tracing your fingers down her spine; a small trick you always did to relax her in days like this.
her sobs quieted down but she still cried silently in your shoulder, hot tears rolling down her face that had you questioning whether you should call your husband or not, the thought accompanying the insecurity of being a terrible mother who can barely keep her child tranquil.
after a few minutes of letting her pour all her emotions out, you made a path to the kitchen and sat her down on the barstool, wiping her tears away as she huffed in what seemed to be an angry expression.
“would you like some breakfast, baby?” you spoke, tone soft and slow as to not aggravate the situation.
“i want daddy”
“he’s- he’s not here right now” you tried to reason, watching as she took a deep breath but said nothing.
you turned around to head for the stove. but your ears caught a small murmur of “you’re the worst” coming from none other than your daughter.
a thunder-struck look adorned your face, blinking back the tears that found their way to your waterline.
ever since you found out you were pregnant, the anxiousness of being a not good enough mom had filled you in seconds, thinking of the worst scenarios possible throughout the pregnancy. draco was always there to ease your nerves a bit, yet, never quite pushing them away completely.
and jesus- did that simple three-word sentence stung painfully at your heart.
you stayed frozen in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath and quickly collecting yourself, continuing your errands around the kitchen as you made an effort to ignore the way your hands became clammy and heartstrings were pulled harshly in your chest.
the rest of the day went painfully slow, your daughter completely ignoring you and just curling up on the couch or playing in her room, always slamming the door in your face whenever you attempted to talk to her. your back also aching from having to do all house chores by yourself. every once in a while getting a text message from draco, rushed typos of “i love you” and “i’m gonna be there soon”.
——
the clock read 6:07 P.M and you held the cigarette to your lips with shaky fingers, tears blurring your vision as all the frustration from today came crashing down at once.
sobs rocked through your body as you inhaled the smoke and blew it out past your nostrils. warm, thick tears not coming to a halt even once.
your cries muffled every sound around you. not taking notice of draco who was now frantically searching for you, already finding your daughter safe and asleep on the couch. yet you were nowhere to be found.
it took one look at the cigarette package on the dining table for draco to locate you. he knew about your anxiety and how bad it got when triggered.
his heart ached and fists clenched at his side as he turned to his baby girl, snuggling her deeper into the thick fluffy blanket before making his way to the porch where you sat with a hand to your sternum, big clouds of smoke fogging the air around you.
“oh, baby” he sympathized, not giving you time to react as he enveloped you in a big hug, feeling the way your curled your fists on his shirt and sobbed quietly, taking ragged breaths every once in a while.
after a few minutes of taking shallow breaths, you pulled your head back from his chest, just enough to stare at his face, his bright grey eyes running down every feature you had, almost like he was studying it.
“what happened today?” he whispered, closing his eyes and connecting his forehead with yours.
you released a breath through your nose and lit off the cigarette on the small table next to you before explaining every small detail from today to draco, a few tears escaping at some points.
once you were done, draco removed his head from yours, pulling back and displaying both of his palms on your cheeks, observing your tear-stained face made him ache with sorrow.
“my love” he started “you are the world’s greatest mother to ever exist, a bad day with your child does not define your abilities as a mom. she loves you, we all do. you don’t know how fuzzy she gets when you’re not here.”
his words made a small smile crack through your lips, buzzing nerves slowly weighing down after every syllable he spoke.
“we would all be doomed if it wasn’t for you. every parent has a bad day, do not beat yourself up for it, it happens to the best of us.” he finalized, chest swelling with pride once he saw how you were full-on beaming, puckering your lips like a silent sign for a kiss which he gladly provided.
“i love you” you mumbled against his mouth.
“i love you more” he responded.
———
🏷: @spencervera @methblinds @marrymetheonott @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @turn-to-page-394-please @fredshufflepuff @malfoysbiitch @saggyb1lls @selenesheart @metaraxia @dracoslittlesluttyprincess @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @fleursbabe @riddleswh0r3crux @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @i-love-scott-mccall @underappreciated-spoon-321 @steveharringtonswhore @dracosafety @dracoscum @riddleswh0rekrux @laceycallisto @slytherinbabess @lostaurorax @alexavolturisblog @s1ater @marauderswh0re1 @starless-starkov @black-rose-29 @tattooedkermit @purpleskymalfoy @emma67 @mypainistemporary @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @lissa-duh @paniicing @rav3nclawwhore @yagamigf
[check your private settings if i wasn’t able to tag you]
#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy angst#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy one shot#draco malfoy#dad!draco#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x you
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Since we don’t know what Miruko’s agency is like, I’d love to request hc’s of Hawks, Aizawa, Bakugo, and Mirio going there only to see it’s full of gorgeous black women of all shades, hair textures, and varying quirks. Of course they meet and fall for Y/N, who’s Miruko’s assistant (but a room full of black women is heavenly asf). I think their reactions would be hilarious since they’re visiting due to hero work stuff but they’re distracted by all the queens around them.
Keigo (hawks) x black!fem!reader, Aizawa x black!fem!reader, Bakugo x black!fem!reader, Mirio x black!fem!reader
TW: Swearing
Note: I love love LOVE this, and I hope you like these bc I had sm fun writing this
For obvious reasons, on Bakugo and Mirios parts you're her assistant but you're still a student (assistant in training?) And you're there for your internship. You also go to shiketsu!
Also, you said black women so I just assumed fem reader but if you want gender neutral please tell me and I'll fix it!
KEIGO.
This man wouldn't know how to act
Of course he's gonna be respectful because he'd hate to make any of these beautiful women feel even a little disrespected
But he is most certainly doing double takes👀
Keigo is in awe of the diversity
Gorgeous dark-skinned women, brown skinned women, 3a to 4c hair, women with vitiligo, albino women, plus sized women, and even more!
And they all look like fucking models
He feels like hes in heaven, and if he is, he's beyond pleased with life after death
But he swears hes seen a goddess when Miruko introduces you
"This is my assistant, Y/n, she's been working with me for awhile..."
Keigos attention span pretty much dissolved when you waved and smiled at him and he stopped listening to Miruko
You follow him and Miruko around, and help Miruko further explain whatever it is that he's there for
And he honestly forgets he's supposed to be fucking working
Probably flirts with you a little bit too
Miruko probably gives him an 'Alright hawks... I see you.' Loook
By the end of it, Keigo didn't listen to a damn word anyone but you said and most definitely didn't get the work he was supposed to do done <3
But he did get your number, and that's all he cares about
AIZAWA.
Walking into that agency damn near broke him
Hes lookin around lost as fuck because he thinks he just died and went to heaven
There's no way all these beautiful ass women could just be all in one place and on earth
And lord have mercy when he saw you he said "God is a woman"
Dare I say he blushed???
Miruko had something to take care of, so she had you show him around a little, since that was pretty much all he was there for
This man could listen to you just speak for hours
And since you're alone together he takes his time to look at you
Your hair (no matter how short), your face, and most definitely the way you basically glow when you guys pass by a window (Miruko probably has a lot of windows at her agency for that exact reason)
By the time you finish showing him around, this man is all about you
"You guys already done with the tour? I hope Y/n treated you good."
This man was still in a daze and could only nod
Shouta didn't ask for your number, but he did look forward to seeing you during meetings and any other time he'd have to come to Mirukos agency
BAKUGO.
His parents are fashion designers, so he's seen all types of women and people of all colors
But why the fuck ain't he ever seen none of these women in magazines?!?!??
Literal models. Every single one.
And when he saw you??? He's never been so stuck in his life.
He turned red in an instant, and was completely frozen in place
"This is my assistant Y/n, she's the same age as you and she's here for an internship as well. You'll be working together most of the time– and from the looks of it you won't have an issue with that."
Miruko definitely peeps the way he acts around
And you both do that stare that black people give each other when they both feelin the same thing
Bakugo is stubborn though, and he acts like he doesn't care about you
But fails miserably
This boy is down expeditiously, and he knows it and so do you
Always looking at you, getting blushy around you, and very obviously trying to find ways to be around you
You usually smile if you catch him taking small glances at you, and it makes him flush pink 100% of the time
And just to mess with him, when he blushes you ask if he's okay or what's wrong
He usually ignores you because he knows you're doing it on purpose so why the fuck you askin, you KNOW whats wrong
He walks you home at the end of the day, and eventually he (forcefully) gives you his number
You're honestly the best part of his week when it comes to doing internships
But will he tell you that? Absolutely not <3
MIRIO.
He walks in and the smile on his face is wider than usual
Mirio loves black women more than anything, don't @ me.
All shades, shapes, and sizes
So seeing all the variety in there just made him start chessin
Even their quirks have variety!
Fire, electricity, light, air, and even hair quirks
He complimented all of the women that walked by him
"Hi! You look gorgeous!"
"Hello, I love you hair!"
But when he saw you he could not hold back
"This is my assistant Y/n, she's here on an internship just like you, you'll be working together pretty much all the time."
"Hey there Y/n, nice to meet you! I already know you're gonna be a ray of sunshine!"
Yeah, he ain't even try to hide that he fell for you on the spot
Cracks jokes all the time just to hear you laugh
Purposely tripped over his own feet in front of you once just to say:
"Oops, guess I'm falling for ya!"
Mirios jokes are always corny, but he's so precious that you can't help but laugh
Sometimes, he gets distracted when he's looking at you, and triggers his quirk without realizing
Ends up naked and halfway through the floor
"Mirio... you set off your quirk again."
He laughs it off but you're like 'Sir this is the third time today you've ended up butt ass naked and inside the floor'
But at this point you've gotten use to seeing him with his cheeks out, and its something both of you often laugh about
Though, it's still alarming when a 6 ft tall beef cake is suddenly through the floor at waist level
You definitely know he likes you, and you like him too because who wouldn't?
The entire agency is rooting for both of yall
Taglist: @myhoodacademia @katsuflossy @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixfi @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @her-majesty-kiara @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @1-800-s1mping @angiebug101 @mads-fairy @solar3lunar
#bnha x black reader#mha x black reader#bnha x black!reader#mha x black!reader#bakugo x black!reader#bakugo x black reader#bakugo headcanons#bakugo x reader#bakugo x poc reader#bakugo x poc!reader#aizawa x black!reader#aizawa x black reader#aizawa headcanons#aizawa x reader#mirio x black!reader#mirio x black reader#mirio headcanons#mirio x reader#hawks x black!reader#hawks x black reader#hawks headcanons#hawks x reader#keigo x reader#keigo headcanons#mha#bnha#katsuki bakugo#shouta aizawa#mirio togata#keigo takami
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Dating and Goodreads
Back for Day 8-Blind date (how the hell do u guys come up with good title fics i struggle so bad lol). I wasn’t really going anywhere with this one, but when i read all of the others and saw how fun the fics were, i decided to finish this one.
also for Summertime and Fresh Strawberries, I deliberately left it blank but I can’t hold onto the secret bc two people were curious as to what happened, so i’ll let the rest of you know that aelin and rowan decided to keep summer and be a cute little family, bc im a sucker for happy endings lol (unless its angst, it’s safe to assume that all my rowaelin fics have happy endings bc they’ve all ready been thru so much and even in alt fics i need them to be happy lmao)
anyway, on to the next one. hope you enjoy!
1.8k words
cw: none
Aelin was a confident woman, something that she was proud of. But that didn't mean that there weren't times she didn't feel self-conscious or awkward and full of doubt.
Because right now, all those negative feelings were swimming inside of her.
And those feelings were just magnified today, especially since she had gotten fired only a few hours beforehand. It was utterly unexpected, she had never received any prior warnings, and while she was a fighter, Aelin didn't feel like stepping into the ring for this one. Not when her boss was a demon from hell that made life unbearable and she had to physically push herself into entering the work building.
Aelin told herself that it was for the best. She was miserable there and hated working in an office typing up the worlds most boring reports and working in a space that was entirely too drab.
But she wasn't looking forward to job hunting. Aelin was aware that she could ask her friends for favours, but if Aelin did something wrong, she didn't want it reflected back onto whoever helped her.
And she was still a little peeved over the damned argument she had online again with that haughty prick on Goodreads. Aelin wasn't sure why those arguments kept going, but each time she would post a review, White Tailed Hawk would respond, telling her that she read the book wrong and this and that and blah blah blah.
Aelin repaid the favour each time, telling him how he was wrong and he had no reading comprehension skills. And on and on it went until Aelin or whoever the fuck that guy was went back to their own lives.
Depressingly, it was the most fun she had some days.
Shaking her head, Aelin forced herself to think of the now and not of her shitty day. Still she sighed, not quite believing that she had agreed to this blind date. Couldn't believe that she had let Aedion convince her it was a good idea.
Aelin had said no at first, after Aedion had voiced his offer, and her cousin left it at that. But days went past, and he would bring up the topic of Rowan, about the things he had said that day, how his dry sense of humour took some time to get used to but once you figured it out, he was actually pretty funny, how he had finished a project perfectly and this and that.
But it got to her, annoyingly. So the other day when he was helping her out with some housework that was a two person job, Aelin told him to set up this date. Aedion cheered as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, telling her how she and Rowan were the perfect match for each other.
Aelin rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything of the assessment.
She had only agreed because it was getting frustrating being asked at every family event if she was dating someone, when she was going to give her parents grandchildren (that question pissed her off the most, as if Aelin was nothing but a birthing machine and that was all Aelin could contribute to society), and who was going to look after her when she was old if she didn't have children (because apparently carers didn't exist).
Aelin was also lonely—she could entertain herself just fine, but she did like the idea of coming home and talking to someone that could respond. She loved Fleetfoot and her enthusiasm when Aelin came home, but human companionship would be nice.
But Aelin didn't have high-hopes for this date because the universe liked to kick Aelin's ass from time to time, she suspected that they were going to hate each other.
Taking a deep breath, Aelin got out of her car, smoothed down her romper and went inside the restaurant, head held high.
X X X X X X
Rowan couldn't believe that he was about to go on a blind date. That Aedion had convinced him to go out with his younger cousin. He hadn't dated anyone since Lyria and he knew that his dating skills were going to be rusty as hell. He had been with Lyria since they were nineteen, married at 23 and divorced at 31; he had been single for the last two years.
It had been...fine, a little strange, after being with someone for so long to find himself a bachelor. Rowan never thought that he would apart from Lyria, but their relationship had just faded. Long before the divorce, it had been more like a housemate relationship than a marriage. He wasn't surprised when his ex-wife had come home after work with divorce papers. He had only stared at the paperwork for an hour before he signed the forms. Truthfully, Rowan was just glad that he was still on good terms with Lyria, that they could still talk to one another from time to time.
Rowan had almost called her earlier today, to ask how the hell dates went, but felt that it would have been crossing some invisible line, so he didn't call and instead had Googled the questions instead.
They didn't really help.
Rowan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, telling himself that if things went wrong, then it wasn't the end of the world. That if he had to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, then that was fine. He had plenty of ways of keeping himself busy—he had a good career, a nice house, plenty of books to read and to argue online about them with.
He had one earlier today, actually, with Queen of Wildfire about a new release that Rowan had eagerly read within days of its release. And once again, he ended up with an argument with the woman about the messages and themes within the book.
It was stupid, he knew, to be at his age and to be fighting online with a stranger, but something about this woman just had his fingers flying over the keyboard.
Some days he looked forward to it, as embarrassing as that was to admit. He didn't really want to look into himself to figure out what it all meant.
Eyes drifting to the dashboard, Rowan realised that his date was about to start. Popping a mint into his mouth and smoothing out his clothes, Rowan took a deep breath and left the car and went to his first date in twelve years.
Hopefully, it wouldn't be too bad.
X X X X X X
The date had started out a little awkward, but that wasn't a surprise to Aelin, because what blind date started smoothly?
It picked up after Rowan admitted that he was divorced and that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Aelin appreciated that stark honesty and admitted that she too had no idea what to do.
Since then, the conversation went well, the food was good and Aelin had even swiped a few bites of his dinner because it just looked so much better than hers. Rowan had playfully grumbled underneath his breath, but smiled as he said it.
It was going really well. Maybe the universe had decided to give her a break for the rest of this evening. There was a part of her that maybe wondered if they would have sex, because the man did look fucking fantastic, but at the same time, she didn't want to rush anything in case this actually turned into something more.
“What's the dumbest thing that you've done recently or in the past?” Aelin asked. There was no such thing as small talk between them—Aelin had all ready asked if he believed in aliens and was glad when he said yes, because “it's ridiculous to think that we're alone in this wide universe of ours. It makes sense that there'd be other lifeforms out there.” Which was pretty damned close to Aelin's reasoning as well, so asking him about stupid moments felt like nothing in comparison.
Rowan smirked at the question and took a moment to think before answering. “I engage in online arguments.”
“Really? About what, exactly?”
“It's stupid. But my all my arguments occur on Goodreads of all places. Not Facebook, or YouTube, or Twitter, but Goodreads. It's never anything insulting but just arguments about how wrong some people's in depth reviews are.”
“Fair enough,” Aelin said, “I've been known to do the same thing as you. There's this one user on there, White Tailed Hawk—a stupid name if you ask me—and he just never...” Aelin stopped when she noticed that he stopped eating and was just looking at her weirdly. “Rowan? Are you okay?”
“Do you, by any chance, go under the name of Queen of Wildfire?”
Aelin blinked, and then blinked again, and once the pieces fell into place, she knew right then and there that the universe really hated her. She let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing throughout the space. Aelin wasn't really sure what to say, because it was true what he said; it had never been insulting, but ending up on a date with the man she had regularly arguments with was just...she had no words, other then, “It really is a stupid name.” She took a sip of her wine, needing to do something other than wanting to bang her head against the table.
“I couldn't think of anything else to write.” And it wasn't also his favourite animal, he had told her that earlier.
They lapsed back into the awkward silence of earlier, both picking at their food.
But Aelin didn't want this night to go to waste. “It'd be stupid to let something as small as this get in the way of whatever this could be,” Aelin said, deciding to be blunt.
Rowan nodded. “It would be. Although I have to be honest, you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to Call of the Wild Winds.”
Aelin just about stormed off when she noticed his playful smile, his eyes sparkling bright. Laughing, Aelin threw a bread-roll at his handsome face, and once he caught it and split it in half for them to share, they went back to their earlier conversation.
And when Rowan walked her to her apartment door and kissed her on the cheek goodnight with a promise to text her later, Aelin couldn't help herself by telling him that all his opinions sucked and that he had no idea what he was talking about—all with a big smile on her face as Rowan sputtered as she closed the door on his face.
They spent the rest of the night texting, and all of Aelin's earlier woes faded away. And she looked forward to tomorrow, despite the horror of job hunting. Maybe the universe will finally let things turn around for the better for her.
Aelin went to sleep with a smile on her face, all because of White Tailed Hawk.
And on the other side of the city, Rowan also fell asleep with a smile on his face.
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Horizon (21)
Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.
Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)
Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail
Previous / Masterlist / Next
A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao
It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.
“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”
“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”
“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”
“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”
You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”
“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.
“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”
“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”
“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”
He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”
“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”
“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”
“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”
“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”
“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”
“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”
“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.
Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”
You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”
“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”
“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”
“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”
“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”
“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”
“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”
“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”
“Yes?” You turned to face him again.
He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”
“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”
~
Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.
“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”
“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”
“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”
“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.
Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”
“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”
Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”
“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”
“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.
Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.
“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”
“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”
“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.
You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”
“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.
Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.
~
Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.
Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”
Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”
“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”
“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”
“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”
“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.
Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”
“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”
“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.
“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”
“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”
“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”
“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”
Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.
“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”
“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.
“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.
“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”
“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”
Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”
“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.
“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”
~
You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.
“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.
“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”
“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.
“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”
“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.
“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”
“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”
“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”
“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”
“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”
“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.
“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.
“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”
“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”
“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”
You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”
“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”
“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”
“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”
~
The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.
“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”
“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.
Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”
“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”
“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”
“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”
“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.
“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.
“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”
“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.
“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”
“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”
“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”
“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.
“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.
Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”
“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”
“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.
“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.
“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.
“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”
“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.
“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”
“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”
“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”
“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.
“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”
“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”
“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”
You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”
“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”
~
“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”
“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”
“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”
Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.
There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.
You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”
“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.
“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.
“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.
“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.
“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”
“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”
“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.
Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”
“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”
“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”
“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don��t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”
You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”
“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.
“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.
“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”
“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.
Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”
“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”
“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”
“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.
“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”
“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”
“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”
He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”
You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.
“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”
“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”
“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.
“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.
The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…
~
Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.
“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.
“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”
“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.
Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”
“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”
“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.
“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.
“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”
“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”
“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”
“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”
“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.
~
Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.
“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”
“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.
“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”
Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.
Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”
Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”
“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”
“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.
“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”
~
Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.
“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.
“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”
“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”
“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.
“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”
“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.
You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”
He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”
“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”
“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”
~
It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.
“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.
You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”
He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”
“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.
Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”
“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”
“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”
“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.
“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.
It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”
“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”
“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”
“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.
“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.
Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.
Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.
What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.
#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez imagines#ateez pirate au#ateez scenarios#hongjoong fanfic#seonghwa fanfic#yunho fanfic#yeosang fanfic#san fanfic#mingi fanfic#wooyoung fanfic#jongho fanfic
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#ive been thinkin a lot & i think the biggest act of solidarity & support ive gotten is from my older sister bc shes really angry/hurt/sad#for me & that#i didnt get diagnosed w my learning & developmental disabilities until i was 16#bc .........it was really hard going thru it w/o any support @ all & im still struggling w it and trynna grow & accept it is what it is#like ...........i am slower i know im slower and its ok that im slower than other ppl its ok and im trynna accept that#bc ??? theres nothing wrong w that i know theres nothing wrong w it but.....growing up the way i did i just kinda internalized everything#the constant invalidation/critiques/lectures/etc :-)#when i was in gr2 we were learning abt positive & negative numbers & i was doing my homework @ the kitchen table & i asked my dad to help me#count the numbers bc i was really struggling & getting overwhelmed#& so he went over it once or twice but i wasnt getting it but he is not a patient man & is quick to anger#& so he got frustrated and angry bc i wasnt getting it after a minute or two & so he broke my pencil in half & said#'if you cant count you should go back to fucking kindergarten'#& thats the first time i remember my parents doin that typpa shit specifically regarding my education & after that it just continued lmao#they shoulda known since by the time i was almost 3 i only had 7 words and was in speech therapy from 4-10#& i still have a fucking speech impediment hhhhhh i hate it#but it wasnt until i had 20% in math10 and 18% in science10 for 7 months that they took me for an assessment but mostly bc my mom saw#a breakdown i had when i was trynna do homework lmaaoooo#&the whole time my sister was always trynna stick up for me and get them to take me to get an assessment or @ least extra support @ school#anyway now my sister is still really angry that happened and that it took me so long to get diagnosed and also that none of my teachers ever#noticed or even said anything???#& my brother wasnt diagnosed until he was like 13 or so which is ridiculous too#so my sister is @ uni for psych & wants to work w kids & is interested in either working w trauma or going in more of an educational thing#shes really great shes doing super well bc she had a real bad psychotic episode a few years ago & was stopped b4 she attempted and now shes#doing really well in uni & is a support worker for a few adults & runs a few kids groups and she loves them all so much#she said if shes having a shit day or week and then goes to work and sees her kids shes happy and is filled w love & content#& she honestly wants the best for them & wants to help however she can & shes so loving and kind to everyone smh man shes worked real hard#@ recovery & shes still struggling bc shes chronically mentally ill too but shes managing & coping & im proud of her
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Wonders of Ohio P.10
masterlist
request guidelines
pairing: draco x reader
request: no way
summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for a surprise when her british exchange student is a little...odd.
warnings (AYO please pay attention to these this time it’s not just swearing): swearing, underage drinking (no i do not condone this ig), beginning elements of smut but def not too explicit, i think you can consider it dubcon ?? if both people are drunk bc i don’t think you can actually consent if youre drunk (plz rest assured tho they are both 18 hehe)
a/n: “hey where did this come from” yeah so hey yall ive never written such an intense scene before but i’ve spent so much time w these characters that i decided i kind of had to. there’s no like...real sex in this and i don’t imagine that i’d describe it in this much detail if i ever decided to write it but um.. anyways. i hope y’all enjoy. thanks for suffering for this long ! i hope i’ve made it worth it
word count: 4k
music recs:
cloud 9 -- beach bunny
the adults are talking -- the strokes
anything from the strokes tbh
tags ! :) @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos
“Thank fucking god for the generator,” said Y/N as she flew around the kitchen, banging pots and pans together in her quest to make New Year’s Eve breakfast. Draco was sitting, unamused and completely silent, at the table. They’d been snowed in for a few days now with her parents nowhere near able to make it to the suburbs. For some reason, the entire city of Cincinnati had decided that the day before Christmas was the best time to schedule maintenance on literally every single one of their plows. “Can you imagine living here without heat? Or power? I’d die.”
Draco hummed in response. A glance over confirmed that he was deep in thought, a scarlet colored letter clutched firmly in his hand (hello, Nathaniel Hawthorne). Jealousy curdled inside of her as her thoughts turned to a dark place--it was Pansy, that Pansy Parkinson.
Knowing her intuition, she was probably his grandmother or something. Why else would she have written so many letters?
After she finished plating all of the pancakes, she allowed herself to sneak a peek at the envelope.
Astoria Greengrass
She frowned. Astoria? She’d never seen that name before.
“What is this?” asked Draco as he picked up his fork to poke at the pancake on his plate.
Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Have you never had a pancake before?”
“A pancake?” He gave his plate a stern look. “It looks...like a soggy pastry.”
“Fuck you, I made that,” responded Y/N. “Try it with butter and maple syrup. And then tell me it’s a soggy pastry.”
She took out her fork and knife, demonstrating very clearly what she meant as she spread butter over the top of her pancake. She’d learned that Draco was too proud to ask what she meant when she introduced him to American/muggle foods--the last time he tried to deduce something himself, he ended up pouring ketchup over the top of his hamburger bun instead of actually putting it on the patty.
A sense of satisfaction flowed into her as she saw him follow suit, spreading the warmed butter and dipping a cut piece in syrup. He raised it to his lips, taking a delicate bite.
“Americans really have this for breakfast?”
“Yeah…is something wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just…” He grimaced. “This isn’t breakfast. This is dessert food.”
“God, your life must be so sad back home,” said Y/N. “What does your family make you eat--just straight unbuttered bread under the guise of it being a real breakfast food? Do they let you dip it in your unsweetened, weak tea if you’re good?”
He scoffed. “You have no idea how I live back at home.”
“And, judging from this conversation, I don’t have any desire to know any more.”
They ate in silence for the next few minutes. Y/N smiled when she saw Draco reach for a second pancake.
“Two desserts? Draco, I know it’s New Year’s, but don’t get too off the hinges,” she teased.
He rolled his eyes, but she could tell her was fighting back a smile. “Speaking of which, how do you celebrate New Year’s?”
Draco looked up and met her eyes. “Sorry?”
“How do you celebrate tonight? With your family or your friends, or your...whatever.” The cold reality of the fact that she did not really know if he was dating someone back home set in.
“Oh, I don’t usually. It’s not really a big thing in the magical community,” he mused, unaware of her sudden panic.
“Well,” she said. “I always celebrate New Year’s with my friends. I didn’t tell you this sooner because I didn’t think that you were going to be here, but I’m kind of hosting a party here tonight. With anyone who can walk here.”
“Oh.” He took a sip of his tea. “Will it be like the Halloween party at Sylvia’s?”
“What do you mean?” She smiled. “Do you mean, will there be drinking?”
He shrugged in response, avoiding eye contact.
“There definitely can be,” she continued, her smile widening. “Last year we played this dumb drinking game over this card game--if you lost, you took a shot. It was fun. We could do that again.”
She settled down to eat, digging into two of the pancakes. They were really good--she wasn’t Gordon Ramsay by any means, but she did breakfast food pretty well. But at the mention of her friends, a realization hit her. “Oh. Draco?”
He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes.
“Um, can I tell you something?”
He dipped his head in recognition while Y/N cleared her throat.
“So, um, I forgot about this,” she began, “but while you were gone, I kind of had to scramble to figure out what to tell everyone about why we were avoiding each other before you left. And why you left so suddenly and why I didn’t know.”
He was still watching her in curious silence.
“So, I really didn’t want to slip up or say anything about...you.” Y/N paused to take a sip of her tea, deciding to not try to look at Draco again. “So I decided to tell Sylvia and Lizzy that I told you my feelings for you and you didn’t return them.”
A clang startled her enough to look up. Draco was staring, completely frozen. His fork had fallen into the syrup on his plate, handle and all.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I mean, oh, fuck. Um.” She smiled at him, hoping it was going to distract from her audible stumble. “Obviously, I made it all up. I mean, both sides! But what’s important is that they bought it, and now they’re probably going to give you a little shit for not liking me ‘back’. So I’m sorry about that.”
“Made it all up, huh?” His voice had a surprisingly teasing lilt.
“Yes, that is in fact what I said,” she responded, hoping that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt hot.
“Is it really now?”
“Draco!”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be back. I need a new fork.”
“Just wipe off the handle of the one you have now--Draco, why are you getting up? Stop!”
~
To her disappointment, none of her friends were able to show. Sylvia and Lizzy made a concerted effort to try and convince their family to let them brave the walk, but once another flurry started up outside, it was hopeless. Her face turned pink whenever she thought about the fact that she hadn’t even needed to tell Draco the thing that made her slip up in the first place.
Y/N, disappointed but not surprised, told Draco that she still wanted to celebrate, even if it was just with him. He’d snorted at this--asking her why she made it seem like such a burden--but once she produced a yellow glass bottle and a deck of cards and told him she bet that she was going to beat his sorry ass, he caved.
She started with a heavy lead, but once Draco learned the rules and strategies of the slightly convoluted Go Fish game, he proved to be a worthy match. They played until around 11:45 when the bottle was about 3/4 full and Y/N was feeling the pleasant warmth of being slightly intoxicated. Once she noticed the time, she threw her cards on the table.
“Let’s watch the ball drop,” Y/N said with no further explanation, even when Draco looked to her for one. She grabbed the bottle and his hand, pulling him up the stairs to her room. The remote control for her TV was a struggle to find--it was all the way tucked back in her nightstand drawer--but thankfully the channel was already set.
“You forgot the cups,” Draco said, staring down at the opened bottle held in his hand.
“You can get them if you want,” she managed.
“You should! You forgot them.”
“Too far,” she whined, flopping to lean back on her pillows while Draco followed suit. His hair smelled like peppermint. Without much more thought, she moved close enough that their shoulders were touching. He didn’t move away--instead, he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a drink directly.
“Your New Year’s traditions are weird as fuck,” he murmured as he watched Savannah Guthrie on the screen. He didn’t have to speak very loud for her to hear him, and it seemed like he knew this.
“Oh, you haven’t even heard it all yet,” said Y/N. “We’ve got a tradition to kiss someone going into the New Year. New Year’s kiss, I guess. I’m sure you can imagine the kind of drama that creates.”
“What d’you mean?”
“You don’t have to be dating to kiss someone, sometimes people just...do it. As friends.” Y/N reached over to the bottle and took a swig herself, feeling the warmth trickle down her throat.
“Take it easy,” he tutted, pulling the bottle away from her before taking another drink himself.
“Hey! Says you!”
“Because I can actually hold my liquor well,” he teased, giving her a shove.
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“You just kept getting worse and worse at whatever that game was,” he told her matter-of-factly.
“Give it here,” she said, reaching across his chest to where he was holding the bottle, out and above his head. She hoped he couldn’t tell how much this side of him filled her with glee. “That’s not fair!”
“Not fair, huh?” He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes as he held it up even further into the air. His voice was startlingly low. “So what are you gonna do about it?”
Before she could muster up a response, the TV began playing the audio for the New Year’s Countdown.
10!
Y/N wasn’t sure if she was supposed to answer--or if he was just...flirting?
9!
He managed to set the bottle on her nightstand without taking his eyes off of her.
8!
The hand she had used to reach across him with was now pressed into his side of the bed, supporting her as she hovered over him.
7!
Without moving any part of her body, she dared to glance at his parted lips.
6!
Maybe telling him about the kiss tradition was a stupid idea.
5!
His hand, warm and soft, reached up to brush a piece of hair away from her cheekbone.
4!
His fingers lingered on the outline of her jaw.
3!
2!
1!
He was kissing her before the cheers from the TV even had the chance to bounce around the room, both hands cupping her face and pulling her in so desperately that it took her breath away.
Her hands found his shoulders, then the back of his neck, and then, eventually his hair. It was just as soft as she imagined it to be. They started out innocently enough--closed mouth kisses and only their hands touching each other above the shoulders--but once she tugged on his hair (mostly by accident) something...shifted.
Suddenly he was on top of her, and suddenly her leg was wrapped around him as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. It occurred to her that this was no longer just a New Year’s kiss. He tasted of lemon and sugar--and was notably better at what he was doing than any of the people she’d kissed before. Or maybe it was the alcohol clouding her judgement. Regardless, she liked whatever was going on. His hands had drifted from her face to her neck to her hair to her shoulder, gently tracing the outline of her bra strap. She brushed her hand down his chest, pulling gently at the collar on his shirt. Only when his leg pressed up into her and her breath hitched did she realize the weight of their situation.
The way he pulled away to hover over her signaled that he’d had the same revelation, his eyes wide as he stared down at her. “Um…”
“Yeah?” Dread crept into her despite the pleasant haze she was in.
He swallowed, hard. “I can’t believe I did that.”
Draco was on the other side of the bed in seconds, wringing his hands and keeping his eyes fixed on her floor. “Oh, my god, I can’t believe I did that. I’m sorry. I’m drunk and I’m not thinking straight. I’m so sorry.”
“Is something wrong?” She didn’t know if he wanted her to touch him, but she wanted so badly to place a steadying hand on his shoulder. “Did you not want...it?”
He scoffed and turned his gaze up to the ceiling. “I had too much to drink. I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” Y/N felt the blood drain from her face as she fell back on the bed.
That’s all it was. A drunken mistake.
Tears pricked at her eyes as she surveyed her options. Despite the fact that she was drunk off her ass, she knew she couldn’t just tell him to leave without making her feelings clear. She never explicitly told him that she wanted him and it wasn’t like she moaned his name or anything--thank god--but what other option did she have? She didn’t want to cry in front of him, and if he stayed in her room any longer he would without a doubt witness her alcohol induced cry fest.
NBC finally switched to ads, and Y/N granted herself permission to mourn the fact that Flo from Progressive would forever be ruined for her.
It was dark enough for her to quickly reach up and wipe her eyes undetected, granting her enough confidence to sit up and look at him directly. “You don’t get to just...kiss me like that. I hope you know that.”
“I know,” he said. His hands were clasped tightly together and rested on his nose. “Fuck. Of course I know.”
“But you can tell me you meant it to be just as friends,” she told him, hoping he couldn’t see how hard she was fighting back a new wave of tears.
“As friends,” he repeated, his tone flat.
“As friends,” she said.
“I don’t think either of us are daft enough to believe that.”
Her stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe things are different in America, but I don’t see you doing that sort of thing with Lizzy.”
“We can forget about this. It’s fine. I know you regret it.”
He exhaled, his breath long and shaky. “I didn’t stop because I regretted it.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because…”
“Is it because I’m a muggle?” His silence was everything she needed for an answer. “Okay. I had a feeling.”
“Y/N, it’s not like...I don’t know how to explain it.” He still wouldn’t make eye contact with her. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“About what?”
“About this!” he said, dramatically gesturing to her. “About everything!”
“I don’t understand.” The tears began pricking in the corners of her eyes again despite her best efforts.
Draco finally looked at her. She was shocked by how genuinely distressed he looked--the last time he looked at her like this, she’d been laying on the ground outside of the antique sore. “I don’t expect you to.”
His tone was low, careful. He was holding back.
“Can you just tell me how you feel about me, then? Just so I know?”
“It’s not that--” He stopped himself, sucking in another breath before he continued. “I shouldn’t. It’s not right of me.” He groaned, flopping onto his back and covering his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Hey,” Y/N said, reaching out to awkwardly pat his shoulder. “I meant it when I said that we could just forget about it. We’re friends, Draco. Just friends. I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s just pretend this never happened, ok?”
He was quiet for a bit before responding. “Did you...want me to kiss you? Did I make you uncomfortable?”
“Uncomfortable?”
“As in, did you want me to stop?”
“Oh.” Y/N cracked her knuckles. “You didn’t violate me if you’re asking to gauge how guilty you should be.”
“I’m glad to hear that, but that’s not why I’m asking.”
“Okay,” she said simply. He was still laying in her bed, and she hated the fact that her bed was going to smell like him until she washed everything.
“So?” He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t answer.”
“We’re friends, Draco.” She sent him a weak smile as she repeated her previous sentiment. “I trust you, so you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
She was aware of the fact that her sentence didn’t exactly track, but she wasn’t particularly concerned with the literary quality of her speech.
“That still doesn’t answer my other question.”
“I…” She felt her throat dry up. “I want--I wanted you to kiss me. I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a while now.”
At this, he finally sat up and looked her in the eyes. She thought she could see the briefest glint of relief pass over his face before he managed to rein it back to a neutral expression.
“Did you want to kiss me?”
“I was the one who kissed you, not the other way around, yeah?”
“That still doesn’t answer my question,” she snipped, hoping he caught on to her mocking. She’d missed sparring with him.
“Yes, I kissed you because I wanted to, not for some weird ulterior motive,” he responded, rolling his eyes despite the fact that his cheeks were clearly very pink, even in her dimly lit room. “Though I agree it’s best if we just stayed friends.”
“Yeah.” She felt her face fall, but she managed to catch it before she looked too devastated. “It’s all water under the bridge. Now we know not to drink together again.”
“That too.” He shifted, clearing his throat before making eye contact with her again with an uncharacteristically soft expression. “But the damage is already done, I suppose?”
“I suppose,” she echoed. “You wanted to kiss me? Actually?”
“Should we really talk about this? After what we just said about staying friends?”
“We’re going to feel regret tomorrow morning no matter what we do now, “ said Y/N. “Might as well.”
He smiled one of his rare smiles--the ones where his eyes went all soft and he dipped his head to hide it. “Yes. I really do. Want to kiss you, that is.”
“I really want you to kiss me,” she blurted out before slapping her hand over her mouth in shock. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
His smile morphed into more of a smirk as he crept closer, his hand resting on top of her knee. “So can I do it again?”
“Draco…” She sighed.
“The damage is already done,” he repeated as he reached his hand up to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingers dragging down her neck. The smug look that formed on his face after she drew a quick breath in confirmed that he knew what he was doing, that fucker. “You said it yourself--we’re just friends.”
“I’m going to hate myself in the morning if I say yes.”
Draco’s hand drifted over her jaw, his thumb pausing to trace over her bottom lip. “You can hate me instead.”
This time, it didn’t surprise her so much when he leaned in. He was notably less desperate, taking time to draw breaths in between kisses and lacing his fingers through hers, squeezing. Once he seemed satisfied, he lifted her chin and brushed the hair away from her neck, kissing down from her jaw to her collarbone. She shivered, and he drew her closer by wrapping his arms around her until she was sitting on his lap.
“Wow, you’re such a good friend, Draco,” she managed to joke. She could feel the smirk that formed on his lips as it passed over her clavicle.
“Shut up.” His teeth grazed over her delicate skin before he sucked, eliciting a gasp from her. She could feel him smile again.
His hands teased the bottom hemline of her sweater, his fingers tangling in the fabric but not moving it. She sucked in a breath, feeling his hands ghost over her skin.
“Are you okay with…”
“Yes!” The answer came out much quicker than she would’ve liked, but the grin on Draco’s face made it completely worth the momentary embarrassment as he helped her out of the thick cable-knit sweater. “Now is your chance to dote on me and tell me how beautiful I am. As a friend, of course.”
“You stole the words right out of my mouth,” he said. He looked like he was positively glowing as she smiled and leaned in to kiss him, slow and deep. His hands found her back and hesitated over her bra clasp.
Before he had a chance to do anything, Y/N started fiddling with the buttons on his white shirt, successfully undoing the first two before she noticed that Draco had frozen completely.
“Is something wrong?”
“Kind of,” he said. “Maybe...not now, okay?”
“I had a feeling that was too much,” she admitted, reaching for her top before realizing he’d tossed it across her bedroom floor and suddenly feeling very exposed.
“It’s not that…” he said, trailing off. “I just...should probably tell you some things before my shirt comes off. And I don’t think tonight is the best time for that.”
“Oh.” Y/N tried to make herself look like she understood whatever he was on about. “Yeah, of course. Oh! Is it about that tattoo you tried to gaslight me into believing didn’t exist?”
“Y/N!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t gaslight you!”
“Here you go again,” she huffed. “I rest my case.”
“And I am not getting into that now,” he said. “I didn’t want to talk about it for very good reason.”
She reached up to his shoulders, dragging her fingertips over his collarbones and watching as he gazed up at her. “That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
The corners of his lips turned up at this, and she took the opportunity to press a chaste kiss on the edge of his mouth. “I think we should go to sleep. We have enough material to regret for tomorrow at this point. Any more and I think we’ll be getting greedy, so--”
Draco cut her off with one last kiss, his fingers splayed out across her back, pulling her impossibly close before finally releasing her.
“Agreed.” He let out a sigh before sliding her off him and standing up to grab her runaway sweater. “Do you want to sleep in this? Or do you want me to get you something else from your dresser while I’m up?”
“Um…” She was frozen at the prospect of him watching her change clothes. “Probably something else. Top left drawer--just pick whatever.”
He sifted through her piles of random T-shirts before settling on one with the UChicago logo and tossing it to her.
Y/N pulled it over her head, grateful for the fact that he wasn’t staring at her with only a black lace bra that barely did its job.
“So, uh, I think I should probably go then,” he said.
She fought the urge to ask him to stay. “Yeah, that’d be best.”
His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he closed it and frowned. “So I guess this is goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Draco,” she replied. “I’ll look forward to agonizing over this in the morning.”
Once the sounds of his footsteps heading down the hall faded, she finally allowed herself to flop back onto her now Draco-scented sheets.
What the fuck just happened.
final a/n: hellooooooo ! it finally happened! i hope this didn’t seem rushed or unnatural to you guys but like. it’s been over 30k words and i thought you guys deserved something. yes i am going to be leaning into the whole “we’re just friends” trope while definitely not being just friends. yes i am going to drag astoria into this i’m excited i hope yall enjoyed
#draco x reader#draco malfoy x reader#draco imagine#draco malfoy imagine#draco x you#draco malfoy x you#draco#draco malfoy#draco fic#draco fanfiction#draco x y/n#draco malfoy x y/n#draco x oc#draco malfoy x oc
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Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?
tysm for requesting !!
modern armin arlert dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!armin arlert x gn!reader
- okay so
- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well
- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library
- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out
- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move
- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"
- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩
- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day
- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend
- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you
- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)
- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school
- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)
- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird
- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league
- armin thinks the exact same thing
- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!
- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment
- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️
- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"
- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.
- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!
- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free
- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)
- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules
- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought
- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho
- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay
- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria
- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨
- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks
- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄
- loves to give back hugs
- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes
- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair
- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades
- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny
- none of his friends are tbh 🙄
- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)
- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔
- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you
- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍
- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong
- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??
- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water
- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"
- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.
- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭
- hes a real gentleman 😁👍
- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED
- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"
- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird
- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather
- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)
- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍
- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop
- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls
- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm
- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤
- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.
- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺
- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"
- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love
- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.
- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him
- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad
- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it
- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him
- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"
- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨
a/n
THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!
#attack on titan headcanons#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan#armin arlert#armin attack on titan#armin arlet x reader#armin arlert x reader#armin arlet#eren mikasa armin#eren yeager#mikasa ackerman
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suspended
read it on ao3!
Summary: Ricky is afraid of heights. Nobody knows this.
Notes: This is purely a vent fic in response to 2x10 bc I have pent up feelings that I make Ricky feel instead. Richard Bowen bb I'm so sorry 😩 Anw don't read if you haven't watched the latest ep as there are major spoilers!
Warnings: Mentions of injuries
---
Ricky isn't the most open person – that part he's sure everybody is aware of – and he kind of likes it that way.
Every time Ricky has laid his heart out for anyone, pain follows not too long after. As much as people love to tell him that getting hurt is just a part of life, it does not mean he has to just let it get past him like it was nothing. He's a teenager. He has intense emotions and raging hormones. Shouldn't he be allowed to be upset?
No, apparently.
Because according to everyone else, he's not allowed to be upset that his parents split up. He's not allowed to be upset after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's not allowed to be upset at literally anything because the show must go on, right?
They don't say it out loud. They wouldn't dare. But Ricky feels it deep down that they just want him to get his act together before opening night. They don't know how to help him and he understands that but... it would be nice if they tried.
No one has really tried to get to know him on a deeper level. Sure, he can say that Big Red is his best friend and that Nini is the only other person who gets him but... there are parts of him that he hasn't told either of them. Not for lack of trying – he's tried several times to open up more after all. But being completely vulnerable is still entirely new territory for him.
And one of the things he's never told anyone – not even Big Red and Nini – is that he's terrified of heights.
There was one time when he was a kid, he liked to climb trees like a monkey. And as a kid, his curiosity on how high he could climb got the best of him. One thing led to another and then he found himself crying to his mom about a broken arm and a bruised hip.
Ever since then, he's been afraid of heights.
He tampered it down when Miss Jenn suggested that Troy be suspended in midair for Getcha Head in the Game. She was so excited for it and Ricky was still very much the new kid in the club – so he couldn't say anything. And Miss Jenn has been lovely to him, letting him go home when he wasn't emotionally or mentally at school or rehearsals.
So Ricky just let himself be strapped to the harness and sing his heart out — until he saw his mom with Todd in the audience.
Then, the harness seemed to suffocate him, squeezing at his ribcage despite it being not that tight. Suddenly, the ground beneath him seemed a million feet away and that if the rope broke he'd be fucking dead on impact. Suddenly, the air was thinner, his head was spinning, and he was trying to tell EJ with his eyes that he needs to get down or he's going to die.
There were other things to worry about during the show so he never really did get to bring that up afterwards. Eventually, Ricky forgot about the whole thing after blissfully being back with Nini officially.
Life was fantastic.
Then life suddenly... was not.
The second break-up was hard enough, even if he was the one to initiate it. Now, they're only one day close to doing tech rehearsals and they don't have anything cohesive. Miss Jenn looked like she was about to have an aneurysm, Carlos basically had one hand holding a clipboard and another hand on 911 speed dial, and everyone else visibly cringes every time Ricky speaks his lines.
So yeah. Not a very good time right now. Ricky wants to disappear completely.
And then... they had to suggest that they, once again, suspend him in midair during the transformation. This is essentially Ricky's worst fucking nightmare.
But he wasn't part of the viral intagram clapback against North High, wasn't even there for more than half of act two back in HSM, and everyone just isn't in the mood for any complaints Ricky might have... Even if it's about a fear that brings up one of the worst memories of his childhood. And Ricky desparately still wants to be considered as part of the team.
Yeah. No. It isn't a big deal. Not at all.
Just strap on the harness and wait for the nightmare to be over, right?
Wrong.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion — the snapping of the rope, the screams from his castmates, the sound of hurried footsteps only seconds too late before Ricky lands on the floor with a sickening crunch. Big Red is the first one by his side, followed by EJ, both of whom instruct everyone to stand back and call some medical help. He vaguely hears Nini speak on the phone with someone but the sharp pain that is coming from somewhere on his body intensifies with each movement.
Ricky can't even see straight and the searing pain of what is most definitely a few broken bones is so intense that he can't help screaming when EJ tries to move him.
"FUCK!" He screams when EJ attempts to move his leg. Well that one is definitely broken... Is it supposed to bend like that? Both Big Red and EJ put their hands up, signaling to everyone else not to touch Ricky.
Ricky tries to move his arm and cries out again. It isn't as bed as his leg but it's at the very least sprained. Big Red reassures him that someone is on their way to bring him to the hospital but Ricky can barely focus on his voice.
The next time Ricky is conscious enough to comprehend what's happening around him, he hears arguing from the other side of... wherever he is. He sits up, blinking rapidly in order to adjust to the dim lighting, and realizes with dread that he's actually in the hospital.
"Ricky! You're awake!" Big Red's voice comes from his left and he sees the rest of the gang follow him at his declaration. Ricky's skin crawls ever so slightly at seeing all of their worries faces. He doesn't need pity or guilt right now.
God he just wants to be alone.
But does he really?
"You broke your leg and sprained your wrist in two places." Nini said to him – the first full sentence she's said to him directly since the break-up – and Ricky doesn't know what to do with that. There's a ringing in his ears and he can't get it to stop.
Then everyone else started talking, taking turns about how worried they were before the doctor told them the news. He could barely even make out their words as they sound muffled in his head. He wants to say he's okay. He wants to say that everything will be fine and that he'll be back onstage in no time.
But the reality is that none of this has ever been fine for him.
"I'm afraid of heights."
His voice was soft, restrained, and thick with tears he'd rather not shed in front of all these people. But even just the sound of his voice right now stopped the rest of them mid-sentence. They process this new information with mouths gaping and eyes widened in more white hot guilt.
"You never told me that." Nini says first, almost accusatoy and a little sad. Ricky scoffs and leans back to bury the side of his face in his pillow.
"You never asked." Ricky replied simply and the weight of his words fell on the rest of the group.
You never asked.
They never asked if he was okay with the harness.
They never asked if he was okay even with all that pressure as the lead.
They never asked if he was okay with any of it.
Maybe he can argue that he never spoke up but the damage has been done and all Ricky wants to do now is sleep for a long time.
"I'm afraid of heights." He says again, allowing a few tears to fall down his face at the admission, not even trying to see any of his friends' reactions. "Can you all leave me alone please?"
He doesn't start sobbing until the last person leaves the room.
Ricky isn't the most open person – that part he's sure everybody is aware of – and he kind of likes it that way. He's not always the first to reach out.
But it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt just as much when no one does the same for him.
#ricky bowen#hsmtmts#hsmtmts spoilers#cloud's writing now#hsmtmts 2x10#i just have a lot of feelings#i was supposed to make ricky pop off but i simply believe ricky is tired#he needs a long nap
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From the meet uglies prompt list:
84. I’m not entirely sure who you are but we’ve been in a massive prank war ever since your first prank on your friend went awry and I was covered in paint
For JakeHollis, please? Sfw or nsfw! This screams them to me!
JakeHollis, SFW, very light angst, some absolutely weird vibes! QueerElfClub's Hollis cosplay is my headcanon for them always and forever
All told, Jake’s first day at Kepler High hadn’t been too bad. Barclay and Dani had told him roughly what to expect, including a rapid rundown of the Earth history he’d be looked at strangely for not knowing. So far, math was his favorite class, because it was the same as on Silvain. Mama had gotten him into something called AP BC Calculus, which seemed like far too many acronyms for a class about shapes. His next most favorite class was PE.
Now it was almost three, and the final bell had rung. Packing up his backpack had taken so much time that the hallways were mostly empty, and he wandered idly, looking for the exit. Barclay was supposed to be picking him up somewhere called the “kiss and ride,” though Jake had been assured kissing was not mandatory. No signs pointed the way, and Jake knew better than to ask someone for directions. Teenagers were the same everywhere.
He found himself in a wing of the school none of his classes had been in, passing rooms labeled ORCHESTRA and BAND and COLOR GUARD EQUIPMENT STORAGE. The sound of music came through the walls.
Finally, though - miracle of miracles! - he saw the light of day, and hurried towards the door it was coming from. The door was even cracked open, and Jake pushed it open the rest of the way and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
Something hit his head.
Something that made a klang noise against his skull, and he thought for a moment his head had cracked - he didn’t know how fragile these disguises were - but no, there was something else dripping through his hair and down his face and down all over his new colorful jacket. He looked down. It was white and foul-smelling, and when he blinked his eyelashes clumped and stuck together.
Jake was fairly certain neither Dani nor Barclay had mentioned this. He could barely see, just the edges of a person saying oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I thought you were Keith, and tugging him back into the school, which was not at all where he wanted to go.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” the voice said, and Jake found himself in a restroom, without even the time to make sure it was the correct one - he needed to be in one called BOYS or MEN, or the one with a little outline of a person without a skirt. or GENTLEMEN. (Barclay knew a long list of things he’d seen printed on bathroom doors.)
But here he was, and he bent to the sink to wash his face and came up dripping. Then he repeated the introduction he’d given so many times already today.
“I’m Jake,” he said. “Dani’s brother.” (People knew Dani; she’d graduated only two years earlier. He told teachers he was Barclay’s brother. Barclay was a little older, but a better student than Dani had been.)
“Oh,” said the person. “I think I had an art class with her. I’m Hollis.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Hollis had curly black hair and brown skin, and the sleeves of their shirt were tattered like they’d been cut off and not hemmed afterwards. When they rubbed at the stuff on Jake’s sleeve with a wet paper towel he could see the fine line of muscle beneath the skin in their arm.
Jake took a deep breath. “Do you think you could point me towards the kiss and ride?”
By the time Jake climbed into Barclay’s truck, he was as clean as one could get with hand soap and paper towels.
“How was your first day?” said Barclay, tactfully not saying anything about the paint.
“Fine. I’m really glad you and Dani told me so much about what to expect. But when I was trying to find my way out at the end of the day a bucket of paint fell on my head.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Someone helped me clean up, though. Their name’s Hollis. I think we’re friends now?”
“Well, that’s nice.”
“One girl in my homeroom brought in brownies to share with everybody because it was her birthday. Are you allowed to do that even if it’s not your birthday?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Can I bring in cupcakes tomorrow? The ones you make are really good and I think people would like me if I gave them some.”
Barclay looked over at him, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll make you some cupcakes.”
--
The cupcakes were gorgeous. Each was as the platonic ideal of what a cupcake should be, the cupcake held before the fire to cast a shadow in Plato’s confectionary cave. The cake part was delicate and moist and yellow, and the frosting was pink, dusted with rainbow sprinkles.
“Oh,” said Jake’s homeroom teacher when she saw him come in carrying the lovingly packed tray. Barclay had put crumpled saran wrap between each cupcake so they wouldn’t knock into each other. “Is it your birthday, Jake?”
“Nope! But I brought cupcakes for everyone.”
“Alright,” said the teacher. “You can start passing them out now, if you’d like.”
Jake held out the tray to each person in the first few rows in turn, receiving varyingly sincere ‘thank you’s in return. But sitting in the back corner by the window was Hollis, and when Jake got to them, he didn’t hold out the tray. No, he selected the most perfect cupcake there was, cupped its soft bottom, and shoved the perfect pink frosting into Hollis’ perfect face.
“Oops,” Jake said sweetly.
“Jake!” said the teacher. “What do you think you’re doing!?”
But Hollis was already laughing, wiping pink frosting off their face and licking it off their fingers. “It’s fine, Ms. B., we’re in a prank war.”
“Well, please refrain from waging it in my classroom!”
“I’m sorry,” said Jake. He’d never heard the phrase prank war before, but the word war he didn’t like at all. War was the slowly narrowing boundaries of habitable land, war was an enemy that was somehow both inuman and implacably angry.
The boy sitting to Hollis’ left was looking up at Jake with something like shock and anger in his face. Looking away, Jake held out the plate of cupcakes to him so he could select his own.
--
Jake still had trouble finding the cafeteria, and so most of the students were seated when he arrived. He was scanning looking for a seat where he wouldn’t be intruding on someone else’s friend group when Hollis’ waving hand caught his attention. “Yo, Jake! Come sit with us?”
Jake hurried over. Before he reached the table Hollis elbowed the boy who was sitting next to them, the same one who’d been next to them in homeroom, and he scooted hurriedly over into the next seat so Jake could sit next to Hollis.
“Hello,” Jake said, nodding at each person at the table.
“This is Jake,” said Hollis. “He got me good in homeroom with a cupcake to the face.”
The others at the table laughed.
“Jake, this is Keith, Madison, and Ty,” Hollis continued, indicating the boy who’d been displaced, a girl with purple streaks in her long brown hair, and a boy with a mullet.
“Nice to meet you,” said Jake. He listened to them talk as he unpacked the lunch Barclay had packed him. A sandwich on part of a baguette, a chocolate-chip cookie, a honeycrisp apple (Jake had just been on earth long enough to have opinions about the different varieties of apples), and a note reminding him that Barclay loved him and wanted him to have a good day.
His tablemates were discussing what they were going to do over the weekend. Ty suggested going to Walmart, which was shot down on the grounds that they’d done that last weekend. No one’s parents were out of town, which eliminated the possibility of a house party.
“There’s nothing to do,” Madison whined.
“Can you drive places?” Jake asked.
Everyone went quiet. “Yep,” said Hollis. “When Madison’s parents let her use the car.”
It was Jake’s first autumn on earth, and from his bedroom window on the second floor of Amnesty Lodge he could see the leaves changing colors, red and orange and yellow between the bristles of the evergreens. “You could drive around and look at leaves. I’d like to come along, if that’s alright.”
Everyone was silent, deciding whether that was the lamest thing they’d ever heard or so lame it went straight through the other side into being kind of a good idea again.
“Fuck it,” said Hollis finally. “Let’s do it. And of course you’re invited, Jake, let me add you to the group chat.”
--
That Saturday, a silver Honda pulled up in front of Amnesty Lodge. Madison was at the wheel, Ty in the front passenger seat, and Keith sulking in the back. Behind it was a sleek motorcycle, and the rider’s helmet reflected the autumn leaves above.
Hollis pulled off their helmet. Their hair was disheveled and gorgeous. “If it was five of us in the car someone would have had to sit in the middle back, and that sucks,” they said. “Hop on, Jake.” They were holding out a second helmet.
“Um,” said Jake, offering them a bottle of sparkling cider with gold foil around the neck. “I brought something for us to drink?” The agreement had been that they would drive to one of the pull-off spots along the highway and have drinks there.
“Sweet,” said Hollis. “Put it in the back of the car?”
When Jake opened the back door of the car he saw a case of white claw on the seat next to Keith. “Was I supposed to bring alcohol?” Jake said. “I could have.” There was wine at the lodge; sometimes on the weekends Mama and Barclay went wine-tasting together, because Dani’s ID said she wasn’t old enough.
“No, Jake, you’re fine,” Hollis said. “Climb on.”
Jake fit the helmet over his head and climbed onto the smooth leather seat of the motorcycle behind Hollis. “Hold on tight,” said Hollis.
The motorcycle roared to life like one of Silvain’s larger beasts. Then it leaped forward, swerving hard to veer around Madison’s parents’ car. Jake swallowed a shriek and held on tighter. He could no longer feel the soft fabric of Hollis’s shirt, only the beast beneath them and the wind tearing at their jackets and the red, orange, and yellow leaves racing by above.
By the time they reached the appointed meeting place the others weren’t even in sight.
“So,” said Hollis when they pulled their helmet off. “What brings you to Kepler?”
Jake knew how to lie, when presented with questions like this. But with Hollis they found they didn’t want to. “I got kicked out of my old school.”
Hollis’s eyebrows went up.
“For… stealing.” Stealing food, because his family’s traditional hunting grounds had been corrupted by the Quell, and everyone else had barely enough for themselves. The huge mounds of apples in the grocery store in Kepler were the first thing to convince him he’d been exiled to paradise.
“Damn, Jake. And here I thought you were so wholesome.”
Jake threw up a hang-ten. “Nah, I’m a real bad boy.”
“Are you… with anyone? From your old school?”
“Nope. Are you?”
“Nah.” Hollis took a deep breath. It was the first time Jake had noticed them breathing. Human beings had to breathe so frequently, he’d found, and he sometimes forgot to until his lungs reminded him. His old body had been able to hold its breath for over an hour, collapsing his lungs so he was sleekness against the water inside and out. Incompressible.
“Wanna make out?” said Hollis.
“Yeah,” said Jake.
Hollis leaned in and kissed him. The best part was how warm their lips were, how warm their face was, right up close to his. No, scratch that. The best part was how they smelled, a smell Jake hadn’t encountered on earth up to that point but knew now he could never get enough of. No, the best part was -
Tires on gravel. Jake startled, but Hollis didn’t stop kissing him, even as Madison honked the horn on her parents’ car.
To Jake, that was the most surprising thing, that Hollis would want to kiss him in front of their friends. Teenagers were the same everywhere.
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5 times they pretended they were a couple, and the 1 time they actually were
hello babes! so i got my first request and i’m super excited about it bc it’s such a cute idea lmao. i hope whoever sent this request sees this and enjoys it! I don’t know if the last one is exactly what you wanted but i hope it’s okay omg i’m nervous.
warnings: none really! maybe some cussing and the usual weed and alcohol reference but aside from that it’s chill. little mention of harassment (not from jj) at one point but not severe.
pairings: jj maybank x reader
word count: 3,425 (this was so much longer than i intended i’m so sorry)
The first time JJ and you ever pretended to be a couple, you were 12, and he was 14. Your best friend, Layla, had just gotten her “first” boyfriend, and had been teasing you for not having one of your own. In a moment of blind rage at the girls teasing, you had approached JJ, asking him if he would pretend to be your boyfriend for at least a week, just so you could rub it in Layla’s face that you did, in fact, have a boyfriend. The two of you had known each other for a couple of years at this point, both of you friendly enough, and he was the only male you felt comfortable enough asking. JJ was slightly confused and apprehensive at first, but when you promised you would sneak him a plate of whatever your mom had cooked for dinner for a month, he agreed.
For a week, JJ held your hand and pretended to whisper sweet-nothings in your ear whenever Layla was around, always trying to one-up her boyfriend with his actions. Strictly just to make Layla jealous, of course. Half way through the week, Layla had dumped her boyfriend, but you still made JJ carry out the full week, not wanting to be obvious about the fake arrangement. Once the week was up, you pretended to have a heated break-up, and all went back to normal.
The second time, JJ had been the one coming to you, begging you to be his girlfriend for the night.
“Please, y/n,” he was pleading, his head darting around as he kept an eye out for the brunette haired touron that had been quite literally stalking him all week, “I already told her I had a girlfriend but she doesn’t believe me!”
“Because you don’t have one, Maybank,” you had laughed, taking a sip from the red solo cup in your hand as you watched him, raising your eyebrows in amusement at the panic on his face.
“I will do anything, y/n. It’s just one night, she leaves tomorrow! I just need to make it one more night!” The boy truly looked frantic as he begged you, and you blew out a breath of air, accepting you wouldn’t be hooking up with your own touron tonight as you finally gave in.
“Fine, but you owe me, Maybank.”
“Anything,” he smiled, his body relaxing finally and you simply rolled your eyes.
You were confused as to why JJ, of all people, would pass on hooking up with a touron, but it wasn’t really any of your business, so you brushed the thought aside. The two of you were sat on a broken tree log, his arm dangling over your shoulder as you leaned into his side. The brunette in question was sitting across from the two of you, a deep scowl on her face as she studied you.
“She looks like she’s going to rip my face off,” you whispered into JJ’s ear, a smile on your face as you pretended to say something cute. He glanced over at the girl for a moment before leaning his head down, his lips next to your ear as he spoke, his breath raising goosebumps on your already cold skin.
“She’s just jealous,” you rolled your eyes, giving him a look as you shook your head.
“Nothing to be jealous of,” you huffed, your eyes scanning JJ’s face, stopping on his nose as you took note of a few freckles spread across the little button in the middle of his face, “She’s gorgeous. She probably knows this is fake and she’s just waiting for the right moment to pounce. I mean look at her, and look at me.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” his hand had fallen from your shoulder and was now wrapped securely around your waist, his thumb trailing over the exposed skin on your hip, “You’re the prettiest girl on this entire damn island.”
The third time, you had lost a bet. JJ was the best surfer on the island, but somehow he had wrapped you into a surfing contest, and if you lost, you had to be his girlfriend for an entire month. His friends had been teasing him lately about not being able to hold down a relationship, and he wanted to prove them wrong. So he went to you. As always, you gave him a hard time about it, as you did everything, but eventually gave in when he brought up the bet. You went into it, knowing he was going to win, but it made the situation seem a bit more fun.
“What if they know we’re lying?” Your leg was bouncing nervously as you sat on the couch at the chateau, the other pogues in the kitchen grabbing drinks.
“They don’t,” he had assured you, placing his hand on your knee and giving it a gentle squeeze before sliding his hand up slightly, resting it on your thigh as the other pogues entered.
You were 3 weeks into the deal, and you were starting to actually grow feelings for the blue-eyed boy. The skin underneath his hand on your thigh literally felt like it was on fire, and when Kie offered you the joint in her hand, you accepted it, taking the longest drag any of them had ever seen you take, hoping it would help you push the feelings down. It didn’t.
The fourth time had been a year after the third time. You’d “broken-up,” but assured everyone it was a mutual and respectful decision. At that point, the group had already accepted you as a pogue, and you began to hang out with them daily. This didn’t help your feelings for JJ whatsoever, but you were a master at getting drunk at parties to push aside the jealously when you saw JJ with a touron.
This particular night though, you were on one. You were absolutely irritated with pretending like you weren’t smitten for JJ, and you were also cross-faded as hell. It had been a very long time since you’d been this fucked up, but you didn’t care. As you watched with narrow eyes as some faux blonde bitch threw herself at JJ, you decided you needed more to drink. You stumbled slightly as you approached the empty keggar save for the boy giving out the beer, until you felt an arm snake around your waist. Your head snapped to the side and you were met with an unfamiliar face, a smirk on the boys lips as he grabbed the cup from your hands and took a swig from it.
“Hey, that’s mine,” you slurred, trying to step back, but his hold on you only tightened.
“What do you say we get out of here?” He was dragging you now, your feet stumbling slightly with each step he took.
“No thank you,” you hiccuped, but he ignored you, proceeding to take you behind the trees that were scattered behind the beach, “I need to get back to my friends,” you slurred as he pushed you up against the tree, his lips pressing against your neck, “Excuse me sir,” you weakly pushed at his chest, but he was like a fucking leech against your skin, “I have a boyfriend.”
“Don’t lie to me, princess.” He had finally pulled away, a cocky smirk on his face, and you looked at him, disgust on yours.
“I do!” You shrieked defensively, “I have a boyfriend! He just... he went to get something from the car.”
“Is that so? Then where’s this said boyfriend at?”
“He’s right here,” JJ’s voice made an appearance and your head snapped to where he was standing, your eyes widening as you saw him before you broke out into a smile, “But she shouldn’t have to have a boyfriend for you to leave her alone when she says no.” He was stepping closer to the boy, whose name you still didn’t know, his chest puffing out and you watched as his fists clenched, ready to throw a punch.
“Not my fault you left your girl alone. If I had a girl that looked like her, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. Clearly you don’t care, so why not let me have a go?”
Even in your hazy state, you knew when JJ was about to burst and you threw yourself in front of him just as he started to lurch forward, your hands pressing against his bare chest. It was hot underneath your hands, his anger causing his body temperature to rise.
“Let’s just go,” you muttered quietly. He had stopped moving forward at the feeling of your hands on his skin, but his eyes were still glaring behind you, “Baby...” you whispered the pet name, and his eyes snapped to yours. You had never called him anything other than JJ or Maybank, and it caught him off guard, but he liked the sound of it rolling off your tongue. His jaw clenched and unclenched quickly before he nodded once, grabbing your hand and pulling you away.
The fifth time, your family was coming into town, and you had been lying to them for a year now about having a boyfriend. They were old, so they didn’t have social media to check up on you on, so the lie had slipped passed your lips easily when they asked. They’d been ragging on you for months about it at that time, claiming that you were about to turn 20 and you still hadn’t had a serious relationship, so you said you did. And you told them it was JJ. Your parents had been amused and just went along with it, but as they were now coming to visit and expecting to actually meet JJ, you were panicking.
“Just ask JJ to pretend, you’ve done it before,” your dad suggested one night. You had told your parents about the few times you’d pretended to be with JJ, and they had always just laughed. They liked JJ, a lot, actually. They knew he had a rough home-life, and he didn’t always make the smartest decisions when he was younger, but they knew he was a good friend to you, and they were grateful for that. Now that he was 23, JJ and John B had gotten a place of their own together, and JJ had kept the same job for 3 years. He wasn’t getting into fights anymore, and his kleptomaniac phase had ended once he turned 18, realizing that if he got caught, he’d actually go to jail.
You chewed on your bottom lip nervously, your foot tapping the ground. Ever since that night on the beach 6 months ago, things between you had been weird. You couldn’t recall why, and when you brought it up to him he had just shrugged it off, saying nothing had happened. Rather than arguing about it, you just accepted his answer, but it stung every time he would go out of his way to not sit next to you, or how he couldn’t seem to make eye-contact with you.
Deciding that you didn’t really have a choice, not wanting to deal with the bitching of your older family members, you sucked it up, jumping into your car and driving to his place.
“HEYYYY!” John B called when he opened the door before you could even knock, “I was just heading out, but JJ is in his room,” he messed up the hair on-top of your head as he walked past you, ruining the perfect messy bun you had created, and you huffed, stepping in and closing the door behind you.
You stood outside JJ’s closed door, your hand trained on the doorknob, gnawing at your bottom lip before forcing yourself to just go in. JJ was sitting on his bed, his phone in his hand, and you almost groaned at the sight of him in grey sweatpants and no shirt.
“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” you rushed the words out, getting straight to the point, and JJ’s head snapped up from his phone.
“I... what?” He honestly hadn’t really heard you, not really processing that you had been in his room and were talking to him at first, he’d just heard the word “boyfriend” slip from your lips. You huffed, stomping your foot on the ground as you let out a quiet whine, not wanting to repeat the words. He smiled at the action, finding you adorable.
“I know things have been weird or whatever but I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. My family is coming into town and like maybe I told them we were dating a year ago and now they’re like. Coming. To town. To see me. And meet you. And I am not telling them we aren’t actually together because I am not dealing with that for a week,” you were talking fast, you now being the one refusing to make eye contact as your eyes flew around JJ’s room. You’d only been in it a handful of times, usually just to wake JJ up and drag him out of the room. Your eyes stopped roaming when they fell upon his bedside table, a picture of you and him resting on top of it. You were on his back, your face leaning over his shoulder as you laughed, and JJ was looking up at you with a smile on his face, his hands wrapped around your thighs to keep you from falling. Kie had snapped the photo when you two had been fake dating that one time you lost the surf bet years ago, but you didn’t know he had it, let alone printed it and framed it by his bed. Quickly you looked away, not wanting him to see what you were looking at, your eyes now trained on the window above his head.
“Okay,” he agreed, shrugging his shoulders as he moved off the bed, “Just like other times,” he was standing in front of you now, and for the first time in months, his eyes were on yours.
“Yes,” you nodded, trying to stop your eyes from roaming down to his chest that looked really nice and tan and honestly you couldn’t stop thinking about biting it.
Now, you two were hidden from your family in the living room as they conversed in the kitchen. Tonight was there last night here, and you were all getting together for a last dinner. They had absolutely loved JJ. He was charming, and he was so god damn convincing you found yourself forgetting he wasn’t actually your boyfriend. Until last night, when your cousin had questioned you about the fact that she’d never seen you two kiss. You had sputtered out some bullshit excuse about how you weren’t into pda, but you could tell she was suspicious.
“I think my cousin is onto us,” you sighed, throwing your head back onto the couch.
“You always think people are onto us,” he laughed, and you turned your head towards him, glaring.
“Okay but I’m serious this time. She cornered me last night and I had to come up with some bullshit to satisfy her prying mind.”
“What did she corner you about?”
“Us not kissing,” you groaned, running your hands through your hair, “I mean I get it, couples kiss, but like. Maybe we just don’t like kissing. Why does she care?” you grumbled, your arms crossing over your chest as you pouted, and JJ just smiled.
Soon, you two had been called into the kitchen, and he grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him. Before you could sit down though, with your cousin watching the two of you closely, he pulled you into him and placed his lips on yours.
You swore you felt your stomach literally drop out of your ass as his lips pressed against yours, but you snapped out of it quickly, resting your hand on his cheek as you returned the kiss. Your dad coughed quietly after a few moments, both of you too lost in each other to pull away, and you both pulled back reluctantly, sitting down. You ignored the questioning looks coming from your parents who knew it was fake, both of you acting completely normal as the night went on.
The sixth time you had been caught off guard by his presence. Since your family left, you hadn’t seen JJ. He was avoiding you, and to be fair, you were avoiding him. You couldn’t get the kiss out of your head, and neither could he. You’d accepted the fact that you’d probably just ruined your friendship, and you were currently sulking on your bed in one of his shirts after just getting out of the shower. It was his favorite salmon colored long-sleeved shirt, and it was huge on you. You’d snatched it months ago from his floor, and it had become your favorite sleep shirt as you didn’t have to wear any pants with it. Your wet hair was piled on-top of your head in a bun, your face buried into your pillow as your legs were spread out on the bed, your butt poking out from under the shirt, a pair of cute black lace panties covering it slightly. You heard your door open, but just figured it was your dad.
“Go away,” you grumbled, satisfied when you heard the door close. But when you felt the bed dip beside you, you groaned loudly into the pillow, getting ready to yell at your dad since you didn’t have pants on.
“Is that my shirt?” You froze, JJ’s voice being the one you heard instead of your dads. You turned your head slightly, one eye peeking out from the pillow, falling on JJ, who was looking at you with an amused smirk.
“....no....” you mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow. The smirk turned into a wide smile.
“Was wondering where it went,” he tugged at the edge of it, his fingers grazing the exposed skin on your ass slightly, “Didn’t think you were the thief to blame, though.”
You sat up now, facing him as you scrunched your nose up at him. You didn’t say anything, just looked at him and waited for him to talk. He sighed, looking away from you as he rested his elbows on his knees, his head hanging slightly.
“I don’t wanna be your pretend boyfriend anymore, y/n,” his voice was soft as he spoke, and your shoulders slumped slightly.
“I mean my family is gone for now...”
“I don’t wanna pretend to be your boyfriend ever, y/n. Even when they come back. I can’t keep pretending to be your boyfriend.”
“Oh.” You felt sick to your stomach, but what right did you have to be upset about this? At the end of the day, it was fake, and he didn’t owe you anything, “Okay. I understand,” you nodded, your voice cracking as you fought back the tears threatening to spill. He looked up finally, shaking his head as he looked at you.
“I don’t think you get it,” he was whispering now, and his hands reached out to grab at your legs, pulling you to the edge of the bed with him as he laid your legs across his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist as you looked up at him confused, “I don’t want to be your pretend boyfriend, because I want to be your real boyfriend,” your breath caught in your throat at the admission, his forehead now resting on yours, and a very small smile pulled at the corners of your lips.
“I have a secret to tell you,” you whispered, tilting your head slightly so your lips were grazing over his just ever so slightly.
“And what’s that?” His eyes were closed now, his hand resting on the back of your neck as his thumb caressed your jawline.
“I’ve wanted you to be my real boyfriend since we were 12,” he laughed, and then his lips were on yours. While the first kiss had been good, this one felt real. There was nothing hidden behind it. No feelings, no lies, just the two of you finally acknowledging the way you both felt about each other. This wasn’t pretend.
You’d been pining after him for 9 years now, playing games and pretending to be a couple, not realizing that every time you were pretending, both of you were falling harder.
You’d finally got the boy, and he’d finally got the girl.
#jj maybank x reader#rudy pankow x reader#outer banks x reader#jj maybank imagine#rudy pankow imagine#request!
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