#and realized its only a matter of time
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patiently waiting for AI text generation to remove the need for anyone to ever need fic writers to exist because they can just load up a prompt and watch it happen in seconds instead of waiting weeks, months even, for a fic to update or for their favorite author to upload, kind of like the AI art debacle
#so yeah#I was having right before sleep extreme paranoia last night#and realized its only a matter of time#before an entire type of people are completely replaced#like those people way back when that hand copied books#yeah#thats gonna be fanfic writers soon#it'll still be a riot watch AI try and write inflation/vore/omorashi/etc though#and then it won't after AI gets the hang of it#anyways#horrible fears last night#didn't get a good sleep
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
#svsss#bingqiu#moshang#i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change#also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content#the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing#mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other#how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer#how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal#how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him#SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S#it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like#mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms#okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem#really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing#the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan#that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace#over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it#the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form#how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment#how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are#how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them#how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them#ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry#as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance#that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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Realistically, I can’t commit to a simblr story but like… what if I post random scenes and just write lil synopses under the cuts?
#every time i’ve tried to do a simblr story#it gets sloppy real fast then i give up once i realize its too much work#i think doing it this way lets me really focus on all the small details#nd every post will feel intentional n special yknow#i used to hate when i had to post filler bc of pacing reasons#this way i can only post shit that matters#nd keep the ‘filler’ in my silly lil comic posts#i mean im gonna do this so idk why i phrased this as a question lmao#g*
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"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO
(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)
#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff#i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view#have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though#purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly#anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world-#but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership#him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though)#but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built#her (glass) just to be mean to rivers#doomed for real#i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because#he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company#theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build#the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly)))#this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them#odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die”#nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us”#anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt.#kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude#i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him#because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his#files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t#but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible#and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them#hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways#oc posting#look to the tags for the oc posting
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remembering when i watched the indigo league arc properly in 2020 and watching the episodes beforehand i was like “ok wow team rocket is actually really fucking annoying at this point. oh well though, we’re getting to the climax of the kanto arc, we’ll get a break from them then bc thats how it is in the other arcs” and then i slowly became the joker when the more the arc progressed
#honestly i think the ritchie battle episode broke me at the time oh my god#like tbf it was so god awful that they made sure to not pull that shit in future arcs but that episode is actually genuinely infuriating to#to me#everyone focuses on charizard and ohhh ash was so dumb to use charizard#but they dont remember how the only reason he was pushed to that point was bc TR wouldnt leave him the fuck alone#like ash was gonna fail no matter what bc the thesis is that he was too prideful to actually train and charizards supposed to be the peak#bc how is he gonna become a champion if his own pokemon dont like or respect him?#but like…. man they couldve done that without treating him like dogshit in this episode#hes basically kidnapped and attacked and harassed the entire ep and no one calls when they realize hes missing#and when he naturally loses bc of it its all pinned on him despite it being out of his control#echoed voice
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Ed recovery with autism and adhd is so weird.
Like I'll either forget to eat lunch entirely or I'll forget when I ate last and end up eating lunch 3 seperate times instead.
Then sometimes I have to literally ask my girlfriend if I'm hungry because I don't fucking know what my body is feeling ever and she's usually like "Yeah you should eat".
Then when I go to prepare food it's like:
Me: okay body so how much food do you want
Body: hm...m... food...?
Me: yes food. But HOW MUCH
Body: uhh... s e v e r a l
Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
And then I end up making too much for me to eat (thank God I'm allowed to not eat all of my food now- I hated that rule so much growing up) but its still so goddamn confusing skgjfjfhff
#wrong#anyway im incredibly thankful for my girlfriend who is so so patient and supportive#the amount of help and support i never realized i need is actually insane#like i genuinely cant function without help because of my autism (and adhd to a lesser degree)#idk its just really nice to not only have help but not feel like i should be ashamed of needing it either#oof i forgot the other thing that happens when i make food is that i prepare it and then by the time its done cooking#i dont even want it anymore -_- like wtf? i literally was JUST hungry#or i wont feel hungry but then as soon as i go to bed and cant make food because everyones asleep#and the lights are all off and im all cozy and sleepy#THEN im starving. my body has the worst timing ever sometimes istg#still not as bad as before recovery though#ive just elected to be a lot more patient with myself#i used to compare my recovery to other peoples never understanding what i was doing#but the truth of the matter was those people i was comparing myself to#had only had eds for like 2-5 years. which is still bad of course but its not applicable to my scenario#they were also neurotypical and cisgender which i also couldnt relate to#the thing is i never learned how to eat properly. before my ed i still wasnt eating enough#because my parents were neglecting me#i only know hunger and i never learned how to eat properly or what being nourished feels like#that means i have to not only relearn things but learn them entirely for the first time#i have to learn what hunger feels like and what being full feels like and when it is and isnt ok to skip a snack#its just really hard learning these things for the first time ar 20 years old#and once i acknowledged that- that it was really hard for me- i think i felt a lot of relief#like im struggling but it makes sense that i am and i wont always feel like thia#one day i will heal. i just needed a little help
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i need to think more abouyt roboy. i need to think more anout roboy. i keep forgetting him i dont want to forget him i like him.
#mod noname#not yoyo#its too late at night for me to start rambleposting bc i have work tomorrow#but like. i reread task failed successfully and bluescreen and roboy is barely mentioned in tfs and i tjink Not at all in bs#just realized bluescreen abbreviates to bs. Yeah seems abt right. anyway#and anyway the reason is definitely because me and pseud wrote those early in our hypfix and had not thought much abt roboy#(least of all what his dynamic with yoyo would be)#but still. WE FORGOT ROBOY AUUUURGH.#its not helped that we kind of jokingly hc'd that roboy doesnt get out of the garage much til postgame bc of like. battery lifespan issues#(a decision we made bc roboy is only playable postgame..... Well technically its a second roboy whos playable but we're ignoring that)#so hes kind of getting excluded both in and out of universe?!?!?#irt tfs and bs forgetting roboy you probably could read into it given theyre both yoyo pov and assume YOYO forgot roboy most of the time#or even more uncharitably simply Tends Not To Think About Roboy#which. i may dedicate more thought to that at some point bc it is a fascinating concept to ponder#(EVEN IF IT MAKES YOYO SUPER EXTRA ASSHOLISH LMAO)#but either way the truth of the matter is We Just Forgot........#i guess we could retroactively edit in Acknowledging Roboy More at some point if we felt like it#though i have an irrational aversion to editing my fics after theyre published XD#anyway the point is i need to think more about roboy. i like him and do not want to always forget him.
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being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"
#honesty is great until you're addressing their insecurities or anything they're currently in denial over#they have a... weird relationship with honesty lmao#they'll be harshly honest about almost anything and not pull a single damn punch#they will tell you easily that their biological mother didn't want them and that they've lived on the street#they'll tell you that they haven't had a foster home last more than 10 months & that one of their foster parents almost killed them#but they won't tell you about the misery these events caused & how its shaped them as a person#and then there's the way they can dish it but can't take it#they'll tell you to your face everything that's wrong with you (in their opinion)#but the moment you do the same back.... lmao fuck you what the hell kinda bullshit#they're so SO sensitive. so much more so than they let on. and they don't tolerate being called on their shit well.#but I think part of that is bc they spent a lot of their life being belittled rather than built up#and they ended up feeling like every time they were abandoned it was bc of their flaws#so if ur pointing them out........ it's only a matter of time before ur leaving too. so they better leave first.#but also they just hate being Seen. they hate when someone can see behind their facade.#if someone else can see ur pain that means it's really there or something :)#idk I have way more thoughts about this than I realized when I started typing and now the tags are gonna be longer than the post oops#might....... have to make a note to get into all this in a more in depth headcanon at some point#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.
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The first time Kaeya had donned Diluc's old cavalry captain uniform, he had thrown up. Seeing himself in it had felt so wrong, it repulsed him immensely. It was too big, shoulders too broad. Moving in it felt like wearing lead weights, the fabric was all wrong, too stiff, his face didn't match it the way the Pride of the Favonian Knights and Ragnvindr heir's had.
It stank horribly of old blood and rain-soaked grass.
A part of him wonders to this day if the stench he thought he'd smelled on it was in fact all in his head. If it had been lingering guilt over Diluc's disappearance and being allowed to take his place that had affected his perception of it and his appearance in the role. Though considering the harrowing sight he'd witnessed that fateful day, he wouldn't be surprised if the smell would forever remain imprinted within the fabrics, the way that final moment would lay seared into his mind for as long as he’d live.
#hc; kaeya#//Deffo had a more conservative custom outfit at first; when he’d asked Varka if he could have one#//Wanted to wear his usual (bluer) one; but also wanted smth more Distinct bc the resemblance was still too close#//So he originally opted to want smth closer to what Jean wore at the time; also served to highlight how much closer they got at the time#//Almost hurled from the sheer nerves of that alone; then had to lie down for an hour from the RELIEF when Varka agreed#//Then the more he realized how he himself could be a bargaining chip or even use his appearance to sway an outcome/get him what he wanted#//Which wasn’t pleasant at first ofc; but he pushed to get used to it for his goals. how self-destructive he was at the time helped w that#//Then he started adjusting it more and more until it became the fit he has in present day#//Felt so strange adjustingwith each change; but he was ultimately Very happy with the end result#//Regardless of the original intention he had in making it more revealing/tight-fitting#//Made him feel good abt himself and much more confident; compliments on his clothes will ALWAYS make him happy#//He can take vulgar comments or leers a lot better now than he could back then; they don’t bother him in the least anymore#//He could take disparaging remarks & hushed whispers just as easy too (even at times shoving down the gnawing feeling they caused)#//All that matters to him was that the fit ultimately helped his gender presentation in a way he liked compared to its predecessors#//And that it certainly was a FAR cry from what Diluc had once worn as Cavalry Captain—that was the most important thing of all#//And exactly what gave him the confidence to start making those changes in the first place#//If he was to be Cavalry Captain; he would be a MUCH different one/person than Luc in the role was#//Appearance; plans and all#//If only it were just as eeasy to shrug off certain memories of That day; he’d be a happy man indeed
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Thought about how given I’ve written so much for getter and rotate enough in my brain I could make hypothetical “how to write this characters” post if those even exists until I remember the factors of:
<the status of the tags doesn’t warrant a lot of writers as is and the only person to ask me this was a irl
<I don’t wanna be gatekeepy even if I wouldn’t put my bias into it
<who the fuck would it really be about besides ryoma and maybe hayato bc honest to god just grasping the team dynamic of the getter will make you be able to understand each individual pilot
<I doubt myself I even write 100% in character despite what I’m told 💀
#meg text#getter robo#fanfic rambles#this came about because I’m so particularly picky about how ryoma is portrayed and while I haven’t seen many awful interpretations#my brain loves to imagine scenarios where someone writes him quirky and I feel myself die inside#for awhile I hated how SRW wrote him but on reflection he’s good! just armas plot never being adapted is a off put#like it’s nice they show him not being just a angry dude because they be more flanderize but it’s weird that it’s ARMA#(even if yeah he has more then four friends this time but it’s still weird)#as for hayato i remembered I thought I had no grasp of his character until I realized “wait I write him not repressing”#*pokes mr Jin with a stick* if canon won’t explore all your emotions I WILL#but these two fucks aside while everyone has their own depth yeah its- just a matter of team dynamics#like obvs go and arc team aren’t copy n paste of OG but they fall under similar traits and intended parallels#the only character I remember I struggled to write for a bit was arma!go but the key thing is to make him not speak a lot#which depending on your story it’s nice to have a weird quiet dude in the flow of a giant conversation 💀#but for characters like- Michiru who isn’t new?? Go crazy#flesh her out however the fuck
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I am still not over the level cap thing what do you mean level fucking 10
#rat rambles#like do they not realize how fucking pathetically low that is?#like it is So easy to get a follower to level 10 especially late game#like in every playthrough of this game Ive done I always have at least one follower whos past level 40 usually several#Im glad they didnt retroactively lower existing followers levels but it still sucks#it just makes leveling them feel kind of pointless when theyre likely going to passively max out after a certain point anyways#like genuinely I dont even understand what the point of this change is#because its not like getting broke. high level followers is much of a concern early game#and mid game is usually only a potential issue balance wise if youve been putting in a stupid amount of effort since the start#and by the time you get to the late game I. genuinely dont think it matters.#like in early late game again youll only have genuinely broken high levels if youve been going hard at leveling followers#and by the end of the late game its like ok and. let ppl be powerful cmon man.#like theres So many things they could have done to adjust the balancing that wasnt this#like if theyre concerned abt faith generation then make a cap on that or make it not a one to one level thing#if theyre concerned about demons then they could again adjust the scaling slightly or simply make it harder to level followers#they could have even used the deciple thing to help with that by having it be a prerequisite to higher levels#like maybe you could have a couple rings of inner circles with each tier unlocking another ten levels#and they could even add a lower cap at like 50 or smth just dont make it fucking 10#that might genuinely be the worst part of this update and Im not even joking when I say this just killed my motivation to play more#its one of the few things that you were able to keep working on and expanding after unlocking everything else#I genuinely really hope they change this because if not then I think Ill have to drop the game thats how bad it is to me
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people legit thought i was the LITTLE sister in my brothers wedding lmao. lol even.
#its so funny coz usually in my culture oldest ones get married first#well....in ye ol days#nowadays its normal to not follow chronologically in the sibling line#so when ppl realized tht not only am i the oldest sibling#im also in my 30s and am single#they were Shooketh#some men even tried to shoot their shot w me LMAO#yall jump right into it no matter the time n place ill give u tht#fafar yaps#fafar
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augh not to vent on main but
#i just feel like no one actually listens to me. i feel like i have to say things 15 times just for someone to even realize im not joking#about something and then like. what im actually saying doesnt come across. like idk if its a reading/listening comprehension thing bc#it feels like i can say smth as simple as 'i dont like xyz' and people will just ignore me and talk about how much they love xyz right in#front of me bc i brought it up and the context or what i was trying to say doesnt matter. and i dont know if people can understand me just#fine and dont care enough to actually respond in a meaningful way bc its just. whatever to them. out of sight or something they cant feel.#idk. im in a lot of pain rn cause i just had a surgery and trying to talk about how i feel in front of people only to have them blow me off#sucks a lot. and also I really really hurt#tw vent#talking tag
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u know. considering the boomer shooter craze is dying and its being oversaturated with kinda shitass games, i wonder if anyone will even give a shit when ultrakill is finally finished
#kinda shot themselves in the foot releasing an unfinished game right when the trend started#that only had like a sixth of the game done on release and updates take like a year or two each#maybe a controversial opinion but as time is going on and i reopen the game every time new levels are added i kind of dont like it anymore#like its built around its high score system but its rly annoying and not very satisfying. and it doesnt have much else going on#im not saying this to be a contrarian or anything this is based on personal experience and realizing its not as fun as i thought#i dunno#i only rly give a shit about amid evil and quake 1 in regards to this genre so. my opinions probably dont matter that much lol
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