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#and obviously neither were Involved in it due to Not Being Alive at the time but they can still have connections to it
ina-nis · 1 year
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The few people that still reached out to me in the past only did so due to fear of me committing suicide - yes, sure, they “care” about me... but it felt more like a “please be alive, don’t do anything stupid” kind of thing, and lot of life “lessons”, unwanted advice and unintentional toxic positivity.
In the end, this is too much work and stress for people to deal with, so they don’t. I don’t blame them, I would walk away too if I could. Why do you think I’m suicidal?
Now that I started telling people the “truth”, that I’m sick and need to stay away. They’re gone. They don’t bother. Good for them. I wish I had that option too!
Deep inside, I wish I mattered to them. Deep inside, I wish they would pick me, go after me and fight for me, even when I don’t, even when I’ll just push them away because I don’t want anyone to be hurt. Deep inside, I wish I would be chosen.
But the reality is that I’m probably very low on other people’s priorities, and that’s nobody’s fault. I’m just some person they know. And for the ones I’m more than that, I feel like it still doesn’t change things. My wounds are too painful and no matter how close they were to me, it was not, never enough.
There’s no point in my resenting people over some connection or relationship that was either non-existent or superficial at best, but felt like something so profound for me - this is why it feels so one-sided, huh?
But yeah! I have to do this on my own! It’s my own problem after all! Only then, I should let people in, because as I am right now, it will just end up badly for everyone involved with me, including myself. I know that way too well.
Here I am trying to solve an issue of loneliness by myself, using stopgaps and distractions. Trying to fill an evergrowing void inside of me with whatever is meaningful to me, exercise, a good diet and sleep habits, hobbies, going outside, being around other people and animals and seeing absolutely no improvement whatsoever because ultimately, I’m still alone and I still feel alone and none of these things have helped alleviate the loneliness because I need something specific that happens to be... none of those things.
It always and only works for a little while... then I need to try again, or to try something else, and so on... the pain is dulled but doesn’t dissipates, my feelings become numb and the emptiness only grows. My needs remain unmet. My desire has nowhere to go and no one I can redirect it to.
Oh, but I tried... I tried using fiction as a medium, I tried the whole fantasy thing and just using about anything I could think about to cope and to redirect my feelings into something else... art, writing, music, and so many other things...
It’s gone now.
The things that I manage to do now feel mechanical and dull, they feel heartless and empty... it’s so ironic, isn’t it? My creative outlets took a hit when they stopped working as coping mechanisms. I try to look on the bright side here and believe that, ok, this sucks and it’s hard but I’ll not be able to go back into hiding or avoidance anymore - I literally can’t, it’s literally not working anymore, and I tried several times in the last few months - I have no other option but address things.
Being alone and dealing with this on my own is making things worse. And trying to not stay alone, and forcing myself to be around others is full of triggers which make me feel even lonelier, and ends up being worse overall.
It’s like I’m going down a path where things get worse and worse... the only options I have at the moment will end up poorly and it’s just a matter of how fast they will “work”. I have to find more options...
I’m really scared I will not get proper help... I’m scared it will go the “social anxiety” route, or maybe the “embrace loneliness” route. Neither have worked for me and I’ve been trying to do the latter for several years now: it obviously doesn’t work.
My longing keeps me going, and so does my desire to get better. I don’t know if there’s a way out but I still feel like I have not exhausted all my options.
I will see this through the end.
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absentmotive · 1 year
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surprise surprise i went and saw scream vi last night. i have my thoughts and...i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the gore of it all ( they said it would be gorier than the others and they kept to that ) my only gripe...can be found under the read more.
**SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT**
                    like i said, i enjoyed the movie! it was great, kept me on my toes as far as jump-scares go. however...the reveal of the killers was...it was lackluster. it was too on the nose, too much like scream 2 with mrs. loomis being the killer aka family member seeking revenge for main character ( sidney for scream 2 and sam for scream 6 ) killing a family member that happened to be the previous movies killer; billy / richie. the other thing was the obviousness with it being three brand new characters; ethan, quinn, and det. bailey. and just like mindy...i called it within 20 mins of the movie.
now i understand that of course there were going to be new characters and that’s fine! i loved the new characters. but making them the killers plus the call-back to scream 2? lazy writing in my eyes. i was EXCITED for the shrine and it having more meaning behind it. but for it just to be richie’s little thing... *sigh*. neither richie or amber had the big of an impact on me for being the killers ( and as sam pointed out, amber did most of the killings / attacks. ) so to have richie be the focus once more...again it’s a call-back to scream 2; mrs. loomis / billy.
it honestly feels like they’re trying to make sam the next sidney prescott and like...i get it. new generation means needing a new scream queen and that’s okay. just ya know...do something different for the character so that she’s not held under the sidney prescott gaze / shadow that fans will hold over her. give sam carpenter a chance to thrive and become the great scream queen that she can be!
and lastly...the overall set up and hinting to it being stu macher is what leaves the most disappointing taste in my mouth. and i know, i know...i shouldn’t have got my hopes up but there were SEVERAL things that made it sound like stu was coming back. the conversation between ghostface and gale weathers; “i’ve waited a long time for this” and “we’ve never had the chance/pleasure of speaking on the phone.”  i’m sorry but that was the LOUDEST indicator for the killer to be stu macher. because i’m sorry but quinn and ethan are literal fetuses and their dad det. bailey had no reason to hold anything against gale. so...overall, movie was good, was nice to see kirby back ( someone WE ALL thought was DEAD ) and be there to help the core4. but the writers should have and could have gone a different route with ghostface this time around.
actually one final note; mindy meeks was the saving grace of this film and she truly is randy’s niece like godbless her and i’m glad she and chad get to live and see another day!!! and i lied, two final notes here; stu macher was ALWAYS supposed to have survived the television falling on his head as reported via kevin williamson as stu was supposed to be the killer in scream 3 but due to the mass shooting at columbine, they scrapped the idea as the idea had involved stu using two high schoolers to do his biding via a prison cell. so...stu macher is alive and fucking well in my eyes.
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bbygirlfyodor · 2 years
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Why a Vampire is the safest thing Chuuya can be right now and some other chapter 101/Fyodor’s ability thoughts:
So it’s been a while since chapter 101, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot this week. Spoilers below:
:readmore:
As things are, we’ve been left with Dazai in the control room, Sigma nearby, and Chuuya in the Liquid with Fyodor.
Neither of them are going to die, and here’s my reasoning:
As it stands we KNOW Dazai has a way to communicate with the outside, so presumably he knows about Bram and the Port Mafia getting turned into vampires. We even saw that upon hearing Chuuya IN Mersault, Dazai wasn’t surprised. Bram’s story calls back to the original days of vampire literature, so it’s safe to assume that we are going by the early rules of vampires in literature, so Chuuya is currently undead. The only ways to kill a vampire include:
Burning
Staking
Decapitation
Exposure to sunlight (unsure if that applies in BSD)
European vampire literature claims that they have an aversion to water, but by no means claims that this is due to the possibility of drowning. Seeing as Chuuya is not technically alive, he has no need for air, and additionally, cannot suffer from Fyodor’s ability, which in every instance we’ve seen, results in killing the person he touches.
Onto my opinions about Fyodor’s ability, or at the very least what we’re going to see next from him! He’s not dying! I mean at this point it’s well known that IRL Fyodor served time in jail and was eventually sentenced to death, only to have his sentence rescinded as he stood in front of a firing squad. There’s the possibility that Chuuya spreads his vampire germs, but then there’s also a quote from Crime and Punishment that I want to focus on,
“If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be his punishment- as well as the prison.”
For an ability called Crime and Punishment being based on a book that treats living with your crime as a severe punishment, dying is definitely the easy way out. Based on Karma’s death, there doesn’t appear to be any pain involved in dying from Fyodor’s ability. I think he’s taking on these “punishments”, and somehow taking on the remainder of the lives they were meant to live. He even went as far as to tell Dazai “you can’t kill me” while the room was filling up with the Mersault Liquid™️.
On top of this, Fyodor is obviously a Dazai foil, we knew this, yadda yadda, but for Dazai’s (supposed) constant quest for death, what could be more contrary than a man who cannot die by any means other than natural, if at all? Next time we see Fyodor, I think we’re going to learn something about his ability.
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176gumi · 2 years
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I'm glad I got into mahoyaku when I did (ie before main story part 2) because I'm absolutely terrible at not spoiling myself on things so it's rare I get to enjoy the feeling of intrigue upon realising something and knowing it means... something, but not quite what. Like. (Gestures vaguely at Owen Chloe and Rustica) idk what the deal is here and how much of it is literal vs narrative but I am VERY interested in where it's going
#💬#general spoilers in tags ->#when i say 'literal vs narrative' i mean like#theres a lot of things that link chloe and rustica to owens past - specifically him being trapped#and obviously neither were Involved in it due to Not Being Alive at the time but they can still have connections to it#its just a matter of whether those connections exist in-universe or just narratively#(also keep in mind ive not read Every mhyk story bc ive only been here for like two months akdnns)#and the connections are like. chloe and owen are connected bc they were both locked up for a majority of their childhood#the (relevant) difference being that chloe eventually got saved#which is alluded to in 1st anni (the praying + rustica helping chloe through what id say are pretty owen-like thoughts)#and brought up more clearly in pararoid au by having them be trapped in the same place and circumstances#but still having only chloe be saved by rustica#and then theres also like. owens obviously supposed to invoke the idea of sleeping beauty with the briars and being able to temporarily die#bc whats a long sleep if not a temporary death... which is a bit of a leap by itself BUT there IS another step to get there through chloe#because sleeping beauty fell into her sleep after pricking her finger on a spindle#and chloes a tailor with the power to 'induce temporary death'#which links him to owen regardless of the sleeping beauty stuff bc they both have Temporary Death powers#but also again with sleeping beauty - and the thing that made me want to make this post -#i was rereading rusticas affection story and it has the line#'His fingers cover his lips like rose thorns surrounding a castle that has been frozen away in time'#WHICH IS A VERY. SPECIFIC AND WEIRD? WAY OF DESCRIBING THAT?#oh also worth mentioning is that chloes probably based on cinderella. chloe and owen connected through being fairy tale princesses#OH ALSO not important at all but i love the bit in that one event where bradley and mithra are like#'chloe and owen are basically the same person they both have faces and shit'#i bet whoever wrote that thought they were So funny for it. and they are#theres probably stuff im forgetting bc its late and there really is so much to look at and analyse with these three#even if im not able to actually draw conclusions yet#my experience with this has just been that i started realising stuff and then Didnt Stop#anyway. excited for how this all plays out
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
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Uncle Ben and Little Luke
AKA we combine several types of time travel for maximum Soft Chaos, let’s go
EDIT NOW THAT I’VE WRITTEN THIS UP: jfc this ended up much angstier than initially intended uhhhhhhhhhh sorry
So a common enough thing I’ve seen in time travel fics is characters getting de-aged when tossed back physically, to neither the age they should be in that time, nor the age they were from the time they left, but whatever is most convenient. This is usually de-aging OT Obi-Wan into his TCW self, for reasons relating to, chiefly, removing the damage of Tatooine absolutely destroying his body alongside PTSD-driven alcoholism, but also because fic writers are horny, and Ewan McGregor playing a late-thirties negotiator is on average more appealing to people than Alec Guinness playing a vaguely feral desert hermit.
So, here’s how it plays out:
We take Luke and Ben from some point in the OT. There are a variety of options depending on how angsty we want it to be. My first instinct is ‘right after Owen and Beru die’ but I want to have that sweet angst where Luke knows that his dad is Vader and that Obi-Wan was trying to convince him to kill his own father without telling him that.
We’ll go with shortly after Bespin, and then they end up significantly before TPM. The Obi-Wan of the timeline proper is, eh, let’s say eighteen. Not really ready to be a knight, but old enough that we don’t have to worry about “if we go save Shmi, do we somehow wipe out Anakin?” which is absolutely a worry. Anakin is a toddler, and is in no place to be evil, on account of being literally two years old. He can’t even explode people with his brain yet.
Now, Ben finds himself mid-thirties, as is traditional. He’s not upset at this, because his joints hurt so much less than they used to! His knees aren’t exactly teenage-perfect, but by the Force are they better than they were in the years before he died! His hair has color! He doesn’t have arthritis! And, goodness, no physical withdrawal symptoms! The psychological aspect is still there, but nonetheless, he’s in much better shape than he last remembers being.
Luke looks like he’s about six. He was recently twenty-two. This is not an upgrade. Ben keeps having to carry him. He can’t see over the counter when they enter a bar for information. He can’t enter the bar in the first place. He’s very annoyed by all of this.
Ben is not annoyed. Ben is having a lot of emotions, actually, but annoyance isn’t one of them. He didn’t get to help raise Luke the way he might have if Anakin hadn’t lost his shit, okay, he sees a small Luke and he wants to hug him and cry.
Luke would like to be able to purchase a speeder part without the lady at the stall asking him if he needs his “dad’s” permission.
Once they figure out when and where they are, they need to decide where and how to leave. There are general shenanigans to gamble their way into enough money to hire a ship. They are in the ass end of nowhere, but definitely not Tatooine. There appears to be a jungle. There appears to be a significant variety of man-eating creatures. There appears to be a temple to the Force of questionable origin. None of this is actually helpful, except for the moment they find a “baby’s first lightsaber” in the temple.
Luke only has one hand and, being a six-year-old, his body is growing too fast for him to bother with getting a wired-in prosthesis the way he could as an adult. He can get a more basic prosthesis, but nothing that attaches to the neurons. He’ll outgrow it too fast.
He’s tiny and he’s not used to doing things with just one hand. He uses the Force to do what one hand can't, and every time someone tries to tell him he's misusing the Force he whaps them with the empty sleeve.
So, you know, they find out what year it is. Ben has a breakdown. Luke is upset that he left behind his friends. Ben admits to him that Leia was his twin. Luke stares in horror because dude, she kissed him, you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier???
Ben points out that Beru and Owen were keeping Luke away from him for nineteen years, and then they had about three days of awkward travel to find Leia in the first place, and then Ben died. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to figure out how to tell him.
(This sparks an argument that lasts several days. All onlookers assume that Ben’s son is throwing a tantrum. He doesn’t correct them, even though this is a very valid reason to be upset, because the truth is much harder to explain.)
Sooooo they travel. Mostly, Ben plays Sabacc, cleans house, and pays their way towards Coruscant. Luke still really wants to learn to be a Proper Jedi, even though Ben is pretty sure that Luke would have... a lot of difference of opinion with the Temple, but sure. Coruscant. They can at least stop by, and see Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Quinlan, and Bant, and everyone else that’s still alive and not tragically deceased in the horror following the start of the Clone Wars and then the birth of the Empire, and Ben can have a nice sob over all his dead friends being alive again.
Ben is only barely holding it together while Luke is in the room with him at any given point. But it’s fine! It’s fine. He’s fine. All of his loved ones have come back to life! It’s great! HE’S FINE.
He is not fine.
Luke is also grieving all the people who haven’t been born yet, but he’s... significantly more okay than Ben is.
The closer they get to the Core, the more often people just assume Ben is Luke’s father, and then look shocked and uncomfortable when Luke flatly calls him by his name, and they just... compromise. This is the point at which Luke starts calling him “Uncle Ben.”
Ben cries in his bunk later that night. Luke overhears it and wonders how the HELL Ben is more unstable now, when there’s a chance to fix things and no Vader or Empire trying to kill or capture both of them, and all his friends are alive.
(Luke will later learn a lot about PTSD and realize this is actually a fairly normal situation, to process significant events and emotions only after gaining safety or catharsis.)
(Twenty years on a ball of sand with an alcohol addiction and debilitating fear of the man you raised as your own brother is not, in fact, safe or cathartic.)
At any rate, they’ve settled into that pattern by the time they reach the Inner Rim. The Inner Rim is the part of the galaxy at which they’ve collected enough money (and mental stability) to travel a little better, and to take a few more risks.
Risks like “manipulate people with those baby blues.”
Ben tells Luke that he’s a menace, after he pouts so cutely that he gets a free scarf added on to a purchase that Ben makes. Luke responds that Ben has no room to talk, since he flirted a free breakfast out of that one inn owner.
Also, Luke is currently physically six. That is objectively a situation that sucks. He deserves to use it for all it’s worth if he’s stuck like this.
“You know, if you keep wearing all-black and looking longingly at the velvet cape and Space Chanel boots, the temple is going to worry that you’re a darksider.”
“Uncle Ben... you told me, yesterday, that I sparkle so brightly in the Force that it’s almost blinding.”
“Yes, but the gloves--”
They don’t agree on this, but Ben relents. He does actually understand good fashion, unfortunately, and he’s not unaware of how much Leia taught Luke about such things.
Luke’s about forty years ahead of the curve, of course, but Skywalkers are prone to such things. It’s usually in regards to technology, granted, but...
They get to Coruscant. Ben is very obviously a Jedi. He knows all the right words and walks like a Soresu master and feels warm and comforting in the Force. They let him in with minimal questions. They note down “my first padawan left the order to have a child, but died shortly after; I consider Luke here to be my nephew, and have raised him as such,” and move on.
Luke is vaguely annoyed because he already had an uncle (and aunt) that raised him, but he admits that a person can have more than one uncle. He can live with this. Ben was more family to Anakin than Owen was, in some ways, so it’s kind of true. Luke is even working on feeling more childish affection for Ben instead of the complicated mess of emotions that come from being lied to about some very large and important subjects, and then seeing the person saying those lies have regular emotional breakdowns due to something as small as Luke saying he likes the curve of the hull on that freighter.
(Apparently he sounds just like his father did as a child. This is almost heartwarming.)
The thing is! The thing. The thing is, they almost make it to the Halls of Healing to get looked over for weird viruses, or Outer Rim Parasites, or whatever the hells needs to be happening. They almost make it without Ben having a flashback to dead younglings or brainwashed troopers or the declaration of a Sith Empire. They almost make it without incident.
Then Ben sees Qui-Gon, and freezes, and does not move again.
Luke cannot get him to restart.
People are staring.
They haven’t even made it to Medical, Uncle Ben, come on.
Young, local Obi-Wan comes over and asks if there’s something he can do to help. Or maybe this “Ben” knows Qui-Gon? Master Jinn doesn’t recognize Ben, but maybe Luke knows more?
Luke does know more, but what Luke actually says is “he probably needs a mind healer.”
(Ben will not appreciate this.)
(Ben is unfortunately standing in the middle of the hallway and completely unresponsive, and is unable to argue with this assertion.)
(Ben is pretty much proving this assertion entirely correct, actually.)
Obi-Wan is helpful, if a little bitchy in the manner of most late-teens individuals, and offers to help get Uncle Ben down to the Halls of Healing. It involves Obi-Wan gently pushing on Ben’s shoulders, and Qui-Gon offering to carry Luke so he can be in Ben’s sights (because Ben is a Mystery, and Qui-Gon is quite fond of those, so he wants to stay involved). Ben kind of just... shuffles on down.
There are medical tests. They ask about how Luke lost his hand. He refuses to talk about it. They ask how Ben got all his scars. Luke says he doesn’t know. They ask if he knows why Ben looks like he’s been through a war. Luke says it’s because he probably was.
They check for foreign viruses. They find evidence of thus-far-unpatented vaccinations. They ask Luke if he knows what he’s vaccinated for.
“How would I know? I’m six.”
They agree that this is a good excuse.
(It is not. He’s lying. They do not know this.)
They do some more tests. They find a lot of questionable medical bullshit in Ben’s body. Most of this is from the clone wars, but they don’t know this. Someone realizes they haven’t gotten a ping back from the Shadow Network regarding “do we have permission to pull the medical file of a Jedi that isn’t in the normal database? We’re assuming you know who he is, since we don’t.”
The Shadow Network does not know who Ben is.
The healers, of course, go “huh, that’s weird, but maybe the name he gave his nephew was fake. We can’t exactly ask ‘Ben’ for more details right now. We already had to sedate him. Let’s check the DNA!”
The DNA pulls up as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
The padawan who brought this guy in two hours ago.
“Huh, that’s weird. Let’s call in Kenobi and ask if he knows what’s going on.”
Obi-Wan absolutely does not know what’s going on.
They ask Luke.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, lying through his teeth and not even pretending otherwise.
“You’re not a very good liar,” teenage Obi-Wan tells him.
“I’m not trying to be,” Luke says. “Can you get Master Yoda? I feel like we’re going to need him.”
They normally wouldn’t get Yoda on the request of a six-year-old, but they also normally don’t have a catatonic thirty-something Jedi who looks like he’s been through a war popping up in the medical database as the pimply teenage padawan that broke his pinky trying to do a Badass Ataru Flip last week.
Or... whatever Luke i... is... oh dear.
“Young one,” Qui-Gon asks, while people whisper-shout behind him, not realizing he’s cutting the Correlian Knot and just asking the kid himself. “Do you know why your midichlorian count is so high? It’s almost unheard of.”
“Uncle Ben said my dad was the Chosen One,” Luke says, because he is capable of being a little shit and is actually really eager to let Ben deal with some of the fallout. He feels for the man, really, but he’s also tired of being the one to field every single question.
Also, the expressions that pass on Qui-Gon’s face are hilarious.
(Luke may or may not be more affected by his six-year-old brain than he would like to admit.)
“Thank you,” Qui-Gon says, sounding more than a little strangled about it.
It takes another three hours for Ben to wake up.
He listens to the questions. He hears what they say his ‘nephew’ said. He looks at Luke.
“Is this revenge for not telling you about Leia?”
“It’s not revenge,” Luke does not lie. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”
“It’s pretty easy to explain.”
“It’s not my secret.”
“This is revenge for the Leia thing.”
“No,” Luke says. “Revenge for the Leia thing was when I ate a live frog in front of you.”
This is the point at which someone interrupts and points out that they appear to be stalling.
“Oh, he is,” Luke tells them. He gestures at Ben. “I can’t tell you more, because it’s more his story than mine.”
“I’m afraid, Master, that I am very likely to have an emotional breakdown if I allow myself to consider the reality of this situation for longer than the fraction of a second I already have,” Ben reports, full of false cheer. “Suffice to say, I am far from stable and have only held out this far for Luke’s sake.”
“Can you explain why you have my DNA?” Obi-Wan asks, as the person who’s most concerningly involved in this situation.
“You can,” Ben says, smiling like there is absolutely nothing wrong in the slightest, ever. “I’m you, from the future. I actually died and spent a few years dead before coming back. I’m not sure why I’m younger than I was when I died, but I appreciate being able to put on my shoes without my knees attempting to mutiny.”
“He needs a mind healer,” Luke reiterates, in case the strained grin hasn’t made it clear. “So do I, but not as much.”
“I have felt literally every person in this Temple save for Luke and Yoda die,” Ben reports, looking a shade more manic than a few seconds earlier. “It’s very overwhelming to feel you all being alive again. I may be approaching a mental breakdown, and I’ve been rather strictly advised against using alcohol to treat my traumas again.”
Luke kicks him in the thigh. It’s not a very hard kick, because he is very small, and he does actually like Ben. “I’m not letting you turn into an old drunk again.”
After several seconds of silence, a healer quietly suggests that everyone clear the room, and asks if someone could fetch Master Yoda as the youngling requested.
(THIS IS ALMOST THREE THOUSAND WORDS. I started it less than two hours ago. Why am I like this.)
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everlarkficexchange · 3 years
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The Principal
Prompt 37: Forbidden romance AU: Katniss is the school principal. Peeta is a new teacher fresh out of college. Age!gap Everlark. Smut happens. [submitted by @mrspeetamellark]
Author:  JHsgf82 
Rating:  M (may go up for the next part) 
Word Count:  5,336
Author Note:  Edit by @mrspeetamellark​​.  Thank you!  Quote is by L.M. Montgomery from Anne of Green Gables.  Okay, so I preface this with, I’m not a smut writer.  I’m branching out into this territory, but I’m still quite inexperienced, so go easy on me.  Due to lack of time, the smut scene is pretty short, but I plan to write a much more extended one, several, actually, in the next part (s).  I hope you enjoy it!   
Trigger Warning:  Age gap/age difference, Older!Katniss.  Both adults.  
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Katniss strode down the familiar halls of D12 to her office, her father’s old, brown, leather satchel slung across her shoulder and a single muffin in hand, which she’d bought from this nearby bakery she’d decided to try out.  She wore a black boatneck tank beneath a long, ribbed green cardigan (left unbuttoned), black dress pants, and belt.  
At 30, Katniss was the youngest principal in the history of D12 and one of only two female principals.  Her female predecessor, two principals ago, Ms. Lucy Gray Baird had been an inspiration to all, and though Katniss never met her, she felt her influence everyday.  For one, her eye always caught Principal Gray Baird’s picture on the wall‒her dark, curly hair pulled up in a bun, makeup on her face, and smiling.  And two, she’d heard Lucy Gray Baird could sing like a bird and likewise led students to frequently place in All-District (or higher) choral competitions as Katniss had done when she was a teacher.  
But Katniss didn’t participate in those things anymore.  And as for Ms. Gray Baird, well, some said she was alive, but no one knew exactly where she’d flown off to after she retired.  Whether she was off somewhere living peacefully, or dead, strangely, Katniss felt as though her spirit roamed these hallways‒and Katniss was not a supernatural or superstitious kind of person.  
Two years ago, Katniss was offered the principal position.  It was a great honor, and although she hated leaving her teaching position, she couldn’t decline it.  Since she’d become principal, Katniss had implemented some good changes, so she thought, and she truly hoped her father would be proud of her.  
Katniss prided herself on being authoritative, firm but fair, and decisive.  She trusted her gut instincts when making decisions in work and in her personal life, and normally, she made good ones.  Last night, however, was not the best decision of her life, and she’d already caught some heat for it this morning.  But, to quote one of her favorite authors:  ‘[Today] is a new day with no mistakes in it…yet.’ 
Once settled into her office, Katniss brought up her email and her schedule.  She was to meet with the new teacher in only ten minutes.  It didn’t leave her much time; she could either quickly send out a few emails that needed to be sent and scarf down her muffin or save the muffin for after the meeting and deal with the hunger gnawing at her insides. 
Fortunately, Katniss was something of an expert on hunger‒not life-threatening hunger, but she knew what it was like to do without and forego her urges.  Again, not last night.  Last night seemed to be the exception to all rules pertaining to Katniss Everdeen.  What she had experienced last night was similar to what she was feeling now, albeit entirely different‒last night’s hunger had nothing to do with food. 
With a sigh, Katniss dug into her temples.  This was neither the time nor place to be thinking about last night’s escapade, but she couldn’t seem to help it.  As her hang‒headache wore off, more details kept coming back to her, and she felt herself reclining back in her chair a moment.  There was nothing wrong with a little daydreaming, a quick fantasy, although work was not the best place for it; but perhaps, it would sustain her throughout the day.  Resist.  She squeezed her eyes shut, commanding her hippocampus to shut down its function, gripped the arms of her chair, and leaned forward resolutely. 
As she attempted once more to focus on her work, that other type of hunger, actual hunger, pricked at her, urging her to take a big bite of the muffin. 
Great.  In a matter of seconds, she’d thought about the very two things she’d vowed not to‒the muffin and last night.
Satisfy it. 
At least the former.   
Hoping to satiate her stomach, Katniss reached out with pinched forefinger and thumb, thinking she’d just tear a little off the top, but then…no.  She didn’t trust her urges lately, even if last night had been incredible.  She needed to learn, or re-learn, how to control them, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.  So, she ignored the muffin.  This would be an exercise in self-control.
She returned to the e-mails. 
Not long after, her assistant chimed in over the phone’s intercom, “Miss Everdeen, Mr. Mellark is here.” 
Pressing the button, she talked into the speaker, “Thank you.  Send him in.” 
When the broad, blond man stepped through the doorway of her office, Katniss felt all the blood drain from her body.  Her eyes widened, and her mouth, all of a sudden drier than cotton, dropped open.  Realization dawned on his face, too, his pale eyebrows shooting up and his body going stiff.  Much like hers.  Katniss felt as though she had a ramrod stuck up the back of her shirt for as straight as she was sitting up.   
Oh no, not him.  
But it was him, the man from last night, the man she took home with her after a chance encounter at a bar.  In a flash, those memories her brain had been sorting out, which she’d so deliberately been trying to subdue, came rushing back at her, assaulting her.  And the night’s events unfurled before her eyes in a montage of flirty conversation, sexy looks, sensual touches, lingering kisses, and...sex, incredible sex. 
Katniss felt pinpricks stabbing her all throughout her chest; she could barely breathe.  Inhaling and exhaling, slow and steady, she placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart, urging it to calm down, as if that would do a thing; then, she fumbled for the water bottle in her bag.  She located it and took a quick swig, kind of wishing it was alcohol‒although, look at the mess that got her in…
“Are you alright?” he gently asked.  She glanced back up at him. 
On second look, yeah, it was definitely him, the very same blond man she’d had in her bed less than 3 hours ago.  What was his name…?  It started with a P…something to do with bread…  Shit.  She couldn’t even remember his name! 
But it was even worse than that.  Not only did she sleep with a man who was now her employee, but he was six years younger than her!  
Oh God, was this going to be her legacy now?  Screwing the younger teachers?  She could just imagine the whispers and the looks she’d get, what the parents and her colleagues would say if they found out…  
As for him, he didn’t seem wholly un-phased, although he looked calmer than her.  He was just standing there watching her, his cheeks slightly ruddy and his hands tucked sheepishly into his pockets.  
“F-fine,” she choked out.  But she wasn’t.  This situation was anything but fine.  And what kept reverberating in her head was:  ‘How could I have been so stupid?’  It was stupid enough to get intimately involved with a guy she just met, one much too young for her, while intoxicated, but for him to be a teacher at her school…!  Okay, so she didn’t know that then.
Pushing aside her ignorance over who he was…but yes, there was that.  She really should have known.  Upon recollection, he’d said he was a teacher; he’d even told her that tomorrow was his first day and he had an early morning meeting with the principal of his new school‒there were only a few schools in this area…  She should have pieced it together, or at least, been more cognizant of the warning signs.  
Why had she done it?  Well, all she could really say was that she’d wanted to lose herself last night.  And it had been nice, more than nice.  Last night, she’d realized how starved she’d been for human affection.  For touch.  Closeness.  Had it really been so long?  Or, maybe it was his specific touch she’d been craving?  No, that was foolish. What kind of useless drivel was her mind formulating now?  This is what she was reduced to when she was hungry.  
But how could she have even entertained the notion in the first place?  How did it even begin? Oh yeah, she remembered now…she’d been in a shitty mood, had a bit too much to drink, and he was hot.
Thinking back, Katniss recalled their eyes locking across the bar, and she’d done a double-take, then a triple-take, then a slow observation up and down his body, what wasn’t blocked by the bar, anyway.  She’d planned on leaving it at that, as a look-but-no-touch kind of scenario, because this guy was clearly younger than her, and frankly, she just wasn’t in the mood.  Or, so she thought.  But he had other plans…
Katniss watched him stand from his seat, take his drink and napkin, and approach her.  She swallowed down the lump in her throat at the enticing sight of his lower half which had been previously hidden from sight.    
“Is this seat taken?” he asked.  Polite or cliché line, whichever the case, she didn’t have any fight left in her today, so she merely shrugged.  He was good-looking, and he smelled nice, like a masculine aftershave (a rain-soaked wood perhaps) and strangely, also like cinnamon and dill.
‘Okay, this is fine, so long as he isn’t a talker…' 
He was a talker. 
But Katniss rather enjoyed the velvety sound of his voice, and he seemed nice enough.  He was clearly working subtle flirtations in, and though she appreciated the ego boost, it was best to cut it off before he put in too much effort.  
She was direct, so she went with a blunt tack.  
Katniss sighed, exaggerating her annoyance with him.  “Go away, little boy. Go home to your mother.  I’m sure it’s way past your bedtime.“  This young guy was hot and obviously interested, which was flattering, but she was in such a shitty mood that she didn’t even care if he thought her a bitch. 
"Ouch.”  He grimaced yet seemed undeterred.  Boldly resting his hand on her arm and leaning in to where his lips barely brushed the shell of her ear, he whispered, "I promise there’s nothing little about me." 
Katniss couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing.  "Really?  Is that the line you’re choosing to go with?”
Still, he didn’t seem discouraged.  “I admit it’s not my wittiest remark, but I get better with time."  He shot her a little wink.  
Cheeky kid.  
"How old are you?” she asked.  
“24." 
"I was right, just a child.”
“Last time I checked, the age of legal adulthood was 18." 
Katniss scoffed. "What are you, a lawyer?"  Not her wittiest remark, either.  
"No, a teacher.”
Huh. Small world.  
If only she knew then how very small, indeed…  
“So, how old are you?” He rested his chin on his knuckle, making him look even more boyish.  She couldn’t deny he was cute.  
“You’re not supposed to ask a lady that,” scoffed she.  
"Alright, then how about I guess?"  She rolled her eyes as he went off in his head.  "Mmm…27?”
“You’re sweet, junior.”
“Thanks, but I prefer ’Peeta.’"  He stuck out his hand, and reluctantly, she offered hers.  
"Katniss.”
“Katniss,” he repeated, tasting her name on his lips like it was a fine wine or something.
This guy was good.  He’d kept her talking and gotten her to introduce herself.  He hung onto her hand, placing his other atop their clasped ones, trapping hers there.
“Well, Katniss, so you’re older than me."  He shrugged.  "You look young, and it doesn’t really matter to me, anyway."  
"Why not?”
“Because you’re beautiful.  I’d know; I have an eye for beauty."  He flashed her a perfect smile.  "Why don’t you let me buy you a drink?  It seems like you’ve had a rough day, and I could use one, too.  No harm in having one together, right?” 
She eyed him suspiciously. 
“Look, I’m not planning on getting sloshed; I’m just a little nervous about my first day of work tomorrow, so I could use a little something.  Keep me company?  I promise you’ll barely have to put up with me at all.”
Smiling faintly, Katniss nodded. 
Yes, he was very good.  Persuasive.  Incredibly persuasive.  He’d persuade her of a whole lot more that night…
Even knowing where it was inevitably leading, they’d taken their time at the bar, chatting about a little bit of everything but nothing really.  Peeta (that was his name) kept touching her in a manner that was just enough to get her engines revving but not enough to make her uncomfortable.  
And Katniss had thought, why not?  Why not give herself a little treat?  She made it sound like she’d gone for an ice cream at Dairy Queen rather than dragged a young, hot guy she just met home, but at the time, it hadn’t mattered.  She’d impulsively decided to live a little, for once.
And he was good, so very good. 
They’d barely made it in the door before they were tearing at each other’s clothing, lips roaming, bodies pressed up against each other.  They’d slammed into a couple of surfaces before he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.  He’d carried her off to her bedroom, which took her a moment to remember where it was.  He’d covered her body with his, propping himself up slightly, and she’d ground her hips up and into him while he teased her center and tasted her tongue, then her breasts, then moved lower. 
He’d eaten her out, and after, he’d pressed her up against her headboard; she’d had to grip it tight and hold on for the ride as he swiftly entered her from behind.  Then, when he was ready, he’d flipped her over onto the bed and slipped inside her again, lacing his hands with hers and thrusting strong and steady until she reached completion a third time.
By the end of the night, they were sweaty and spent, and she was a little hoarse. 
But she recalled how it wasn’t all fast and rough.  He’d also been tender with her, brushing the hair out of her face, peppering her face with little kisses, and whispering sweet nothings into her ear while he spooned her.  
But all that fun was over.  Now, it had come back to bite her in the ass. 
First off, Katniss had woken feeling disoriented, and a bit sore.  When she remembered (the gist of) what had happened, she’d been mortified, but at least the mystery guy with the odd name had had enough sense to be gone when she got up.  
Good, she’d thought.  Saved her the embarrassing conversation of having to kick him out.  
At the time, it had seemed like a better idea to go to her place than his.  He would know where she lived, yes, but if he tried to murder or harass her, that’s where her neighbor came in. 
Her cranky old neighbor, Haymitch, was a cop, when he wasn’t drunk, that is.  Katniss imagined him to be like one of those rogue cops in the movies and TV series, who wasn’t afraid to pop a cap into someone who deserved it when the criminal justice system failed.  And for some strange reason, he’d taken a shining to her.  Most of the time they mutually despised one another, but occasionally, it was as if he flipped a switch and decided to be pleasant, and he could even be protective of her.  He’d hollered and acted crazy once to get rid of a guy for her, even pulled his badge on another crazy boyfriend.  And if all that didn’t work, at least she had a weapon under her bed.  
Speaking of crotchety, old Haymitch Abernathy, she’d passed him in the hall while he was stumbling out of his door for this morning’s paper, and he’d accosted her…   
“Ya really shouldn’t be dragging strange men home from bars, sweetheart.  S’not safe.” 
“Didn’t know you cared, Haymitch,” she said dryly, folding her arms.  Although, she did.  He was a textbook type, putting on a tough façade, acting as if he didn’t care about anything or anyone when actually he cared a lot.  
“Sure,” he shrugged, “you’re like the daughter I never had‒and never wanted.”  He added the last part with a slight curl of the lips.  
“Gee, thanks, Haymitch.” 
“No problem.”  He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat.  “So, I take it this one was okay?” 
Katniss rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, he was okay.”  More than okay…  “He even left without me having to tell him to.”  She tapped her fingers against her arm.   
“Ah, a smart one.  However, I do have a complaint.  Y’all made quite the racket last night!” 
“Haymitch, god!” Katniss groaned.  She pressed her fingers into her temple.  They did; they really did‒she was surprised they hadn’t broken her bed‒and she was trying hard not to smile about it.  Not in front of Haymitch.  “Please, please do not talk like an overprotective parent one minute then comment on my sex life the next.”  
“Then keep it down, why don’t ya?!” 
God.  Well, now he knew about her one-night stand.  Oh well.  Not like he’d say anything to anyone, and he was the least of her worries.
Back to the matter, and the man, at hand.
Peeta Mellark, the new teacher, stood in the middle of her office as if he didn’t dare come closer without permission.  He was dressed in an orange and white striped button-down dress shirt tucked into navy pants, and he wore a navy tie.  His ashy blond hair was gelled and slightly coiffed.  
He looked good. 
He’d looked good last night, too, more casual, dressed in a slightly form-fitting baby blue Henley and jeans, and his hair had fallen in waves across his forehead.  Last night, he’d been cute and hot and fun; today, he was handsome and distinguished, and he’d suddenly aged five years.  Katniss couldn’t decide which look she liked better on him.  Both were attractive in their own right…but no, she absolutely should not be focusing on his looks right now, or ever. 
Composing herself, she finally beckoned for him.  “Mr. Mellark.  Have a seat.” 
He sat down, threaded his fingers together, and gave her a tentative smile. 
Well, he certainly was much less confident today.  Not that she could blame him; she was rather a jumble herself.  She supposed she’d better address the elephant in the room.  
She sucked in a breath and swallowed the lump in her throat before proceeding.   
“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t realize it was you.  I couldn’t remember your name at first.” 
Good one, Katniss.  
“Ouch.”  He gave a little chuckle.  “Well, I remember everything about you, Katniss.  Like, you have one sister; your favorite color is green; you love to get out into nature and go hunting, and you’re obsessed with hot chocolate and love to dip your bread in it.”  
Well, they had covered some informational ground last night, hadn’t they?
His sexy grin returned, and just like that, the ice was broken, and he was the same cheeky, charming, albeit slightly smart-mouthed man she remembered from last night.  
“Are you trying to be romantic or piss me off?” she blurted out.  
“Neither.  Just saying…” 
“By the way, you should address me as Ms. Everdeen or Principal Everdeen.  And we’re in a meeting.”   
“Excuse my informality, Ms. Everdeen,” he stressed her name.  How was it he could sound both contrite and like a smart ass at the same time?  “I suppose it is much more appropriate if I call you that here.” 
What was he inferring?  That he might address her differently elsewhere?  That they might actually associate with one another outside of school ever again?  Their night together had been fun, amazing, really, but that was over.  Even if she wanted to see him again, it was now forbidden… 
Damn it all if thinking of it as ‘forbidden’ wasn’t getting her all hot and bothered.  She squeezed her legs beneath her desk, digging her nails into the arms of her chair to ground herself.  
She inhaled and slowly exhaled.  “Yes, it is.  Thank you, Peet-Mr. Mellark.”  
Katniss still couldn’t understand what in hell was the matter with her.  And how had she not put two and two together last night?  She supposed it was because she hadn’t been on the hiring committee when he was hired; she’d only seen him as Mr. Mellark on paper.  And they’d only exchanged first names last night. 
Plus, she’d been stupid and horny.    
“By the way, how’d you sleep, Ms. Everdeen?”  Peeta gave her that sassy little smirk of his.  
She scowled at him.  “Never you mind how I slept.”  
Peeta chuckled.  
He was on dangerous ground.  If he kept laughing at her, he was gonna get his cute, tight little ass fired.  But then again, she couldn’t really do that.  She had no legitimate reason to fire him.  Sexual harassment, maybe, but she certainly couldn’t not claim that without coming clean about what happened between them.  
“You know, I wanted to greet you properly this morning, but I had to get going.  So sorry to just leave a note.” 
Yes, she recalled his note.  It was…a little sappy for her taste, but sweet.  
Katniss sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.  All of a sudden, her shoulders felt tenser than ever and that small twinge from before had become a gigantic pain.  
“Did you injure yourself?” He wasn’t laughing or smiling this time; he seemed genuinely concerned.    
“No,” she snipped.  She had, but she wasn’t going to admit it to him.  She certainly wasn’t going to tell this young, twenty-something that she’d pulled a muscle having sex with him.  How humiliating that would be.  Granted, it was probably made worse from sleeping on it the way she did, but the initial pull came from the sex.  It made her feel much older than she was, and he seemed just fine.  Bodies truly didn’t seem to function the same in the thirties as in the twenties; it was like an invisible line was crossed.  “It’s nothing,” she told him.  “Just a crick.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry.”  He paused.  “You know, there’s a remedy for that.” 
“Oh yeah?” She eyed him suspiciously, waiting for the inevitable pick-up line‒an offer to massage it for her or something.  And dammit, she was getting turned on again!  
“Heat,” said Peeta.   
Oh.  She internally berated herself for her lusty thoughts.  What was worse was that now she couldn’t get the image of him massaging her out of her head.  
“There is also massage, of course.”  He flashed her that brilliant smile of his. 
Damn mind reader!  
With a sigh, Katniss drummed her fingers several times on her desk.  Okay, this would be fine.  It was over and done with, and they could begin a new, professional relationship‒so long as he got it through his head that this wasn’t fun and games.  
“Okay, let’s get something straight, Mr. Mellark.  This can’t happen.” 
“What can’t?” 
“This.”  She motioned between them.  “You…and me, whatever.  Not again.” 
“Oh, so we are going to talk about it,” said Peeta, crossing one leg over the other.  
“I think we need to.  Because this…I don’t know…this flirtatious talk and those smiles of yours can’t continue.” 
“I can’t smile at you?”  Peeta’s brow furrowed, and he placed a hand on his chest. 
“Not like that, no.” 
“I was just being friendly, Miss Everdeen.” 
“No, you weren’t.  You know what you were doing; you…nevermind.”  She placed both hands on her temples and rubbed.  Once she’d dug in really good, she covered her face with one hand, dropping the other to her desk.  Suddenly, she felt his large, warm hand cover hers.  
When she looked up, Peeta was leaning forward.  Her gaze flickered between his bright blue eyes and his hand covering hers.    
“I’m sorry to cause you stress.  I promise I won’t make things difficult for you.” 
“Thank you.”  Katniss’s words came out with a gust of breath.  “I appreciate that, Mr. Mellark.  Thank you for being mature about this.” 
“Uh, yeah, no problem.”  Peeta removed his hand and used it to scratch the stubble on his chin.  She couldn’t help drifting back to the way that stubble had felt against her inner thighs…  
“I mean, what happened was a complete coincidence,” he continued.  “No reason it should affect our positions here.”  He dropped his hands to his lap and folded them.
“Right.  So, then…”  She perused his file.  Thank God she was a speed-reader because she hadn’t had the opportunity to learn about him in a professional capacity, as she should have been doing, last night.  “I see you have your Master’s in Elementary Education.  And hm, seems you come highly recommended.” 
Peeta’s hand had raised to partially cover his mouth, and she thought she caught the slight upturn of his lip.  Was he laughing at her struggle to keep her composure, or…She swore if it was because she’d said ‘come’ she was going to reach across her desk and slap him, consequences be damned!  He said he would be professional! 
But really, what did she expect?  He was young and most likely, immature, and she had just banged him last night.  He probably wasn’t taking her seriously right now, at all. 
“What?” she snipped. 
“Nothing.” 
Peeta was eyeing her muffin now.  Did he really have such a short attention span?  How did he ever make it through school, let alone become a teacher?    
“I hope you enjoy the muffin,” he commented.   
“Thanks.”  What a strange segue.  
“You know, I was going to make you breakfast this morning, but since it was your place, I didn’t want to overstep my bounds by rummaging around in your kitchen.”
How thoughtful.  But overstep his bounds?  Well, they were both so far out of bounds last night that the boundaries weren’t even visible.  
“Plus, I had to leave early for this meeting with you, which I didn’t know was with you, since you never gave me your last name last night, and I was only told I would be meeting with Principal Everdeen.”  He gave a sardonic little laugh.  “What are the odds?” 
“Glad you find this so damn funny, Mr. Mellark.” 
“Not funny ha-ha, just kind of ironic.  Not great literature-ironic or anything, but interesting.” 
Katniss huffed.  “Mr. Mellark,” she chided.   
“I know I’m supposed to address you by your title, but you can call me Peeta if you want.” 
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
“Well, then I suppose suggesting a rain check on breakfast would be a bad idea?” 
“Yes, it definitely would.” 
Peeta nodded.  “Well, at least you have the muffin. Do me a favor and tell me how you like it.”
“Alright…"  She sighed.  How odd.  Then again, Peeta didn’t seem like the typical guy. He’d made a lot of…quirky remarks last night.  “But let me remind you, this is a professional meeting.” 
“Of course.”  
Before she could go on, Peeta interrupted.  
“But you have to admit, it is a bit ironic, isn’t it?” 
Katniss folded her arms on her desk and dropped her head to rest on them a moment.  “Peeta…,” she began in a warning tone when she raised her head.  
“You’re not at all glad to see me?” 
“No, Peeta.  Sorry, but I’m not.”   At least, not here she wasn’t.  “This is horrible.  It’s not ironic, and it’s not fate, unless you count it as a cruel joke of the universe, if you believe in that sort of thing.” 
At the look on his face, she huffed in exasperation.  “How can you not be as mortified as I am?  It’s worse for me, but how do you feel knowing you fucked your boss the night before your first day of work?” 
“Well, I’m not ashamed like you are, and I can brush it off.”  Apparently, he couldn’t.  “Two people met in a bar; they liked each other; they hooked up; it’s no big deal.” 
“Maybe not for you.  But can’t you see how this changes our whole dynamic?” 
“Only if we let it.”  
Katniss sighed.  He made a good point.  Perhaps he was wiser and more mature than she gave him credit for, even if he wasn’t acting it right now.  Maybe if she started treating him more like a colleague and a man rather than a kid. She certainly saw him as all man last night.     
“Alright.”  Peeta casually folded his hands in his lap.  “What is it you’re concerned with?” 
“I don’t want anyone to know we know each other, let alone that we had a…physical involvement.” 
“Fair enough.”  Peeta nodded.  
“And you’re to always address me by my title, not my first name, and definitely not by any of those little pet names you were spouting last night.” 
Peeta laughed.  “You didn’t like them, huh?  I guess it was a little much; I just get…chatty when I’m turned on.” 
Katniss rolled her eyes.
“Sorry.”  He cleared his throat.  “Anything else?” 
“I also want you to know that what happened last night…that’s not me, or something that I normally do.  Ever.” 
Peeta nodded.  “I didn’t figure you for the type.  And neither am I, if I’m being honest.” 
Katniss pressed her lips together. 
“So, may I ask–and I’m not fishing for a compliment here, but‒what was different about last night?” he asked.  
“Well,” Katniss heaved a sigh. “I was in a crappy mood last night, a really, really crappy mood.  I don’t want to get into it; it’s personal, so let’s just leave it at that.”  She thinned her lips  “I was upset; then there was the alcohol, and you were…”  There.  It was more than that, of course, but she wasn’t going to stoke his ego further, nor add to the inappropriateness of the situation by saying how attracted she was (still is) to him.  Not like it would come as a surprise, given her enthusiasm last night.  “Nice to me.” 
Again, Peeta nodded. “I see.  Well…”  He raised his broad shoulders and paused as if he didn’t know what to say next.  “I hope I made your night better.” 
Katniss couldn’t help it; she snorted.  “Um,” she picked at her nail, grinning slightly.  “You did.  You…definitely did.”  She looked up then, the smile falling away.  “But I meant it when I said we should be professional, so I think this should be the very last this topic is ever brought up.” 
"Anything else?" 
"No, I don’t think so." 
“Okay, then, let me see if I have this straight. You are Ms. Everdeen or Principal Everdeen to me, and I am Mr. Mellark to you. We’ve never met before today, but we have a mutual respect for one another and a purely professional working relationship.” 
“Right.  Very good.” 
“Well, I do have a very high IQ.  It’s in my file, you know.” 
Again, she rolled her eyes.  
“I think we have an understanding.”  Peeta reached out to shake her hand, and when she touched it, she felt that same bolt of electricity she felt last night.  “And I promise to be completely respectful and professional from here on out.” 
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Team Chaotix found out how to Time-Travel and are (probably?) using their powers for good
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[I.D.: Screenshot of Shadow the Hedgehog, the cutscene before “Mad Matrix.” Shadow approaches Team Chaotix, standing in front of Eggman’s computer. Vector says “Well, we need your help to hack into [Eggman’s] computer... and don’t ask why!” End I.D.] 
What a title, huh? Let me complicate this more by explaining this is going to deal near exclusively with the 2005 game Shadow the Hedgehog and Chaotix’s role in it. 
My thesis statement for this is as thus: In Shadow the Hedgehog, all endings are actually technically canon; the universe was reset back at the end of them all until the True Ending was reached, and the universe was reset by none other than Team Chaotix. 
Is this theory going to make at least two insane reaches? Yes. Is it a crack theory? uuuuuuuuh depends on how people react to it 
So, let’s get into the logistics of how and why I think this went down.
Part One: What was Team Chaotix’s Mission?
Team Chaotix appears very briefly in ShTH; Charmy is on a solo mission on “Prison Island,” the whole team seems to be in “Mad Matrix” with Vector in  “Cosmic Fall”, and they appear briefly aboard the ARK at the end of the game. (Which... I don’t think they left? Were they up there when Shadow isolated himself inside? Is that why he wasn’t gone for long, did he get sick of their shit and pilot them back to the planet--) 
The point is, from the few appearances of the team in the game, we know that they are on a mission, one so secret/confidential that no team members tell anyone what it is- even Charmy, who has the impulse control of a kid left alone in a room with a million buttons. 
Of course, with their appearances, we can figure out some elements of their mission, and it becomes quite clear that their mission has something to do with the Space Colony ARK. 
Charmy’s solo mission, for starters, in “Prison Island.” Charmy is there to collect five discs from GUN, discs that I don’t believe the player ever finds out the contents of. 
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[I.D.: Three screenshots from Shadow the Hedgehog, of Charmy’s dialogue in the “Prison Island” stage. He says, “Heeey, Shadow! I gotta ask you something! Vector told me that he wants to find five top secret discks... but, like... what’s a top secret disk?” End i.D.]
As the Hero Route of Prison Island immediately transitions to “Mad Matrix”, the implication is the GUN discs have something to do with hacking into Eggman’s computer. 
Oh, yeah, the team needed to hack into the files of Eggman’s computer, with Espio having to gather data himself. Again, what they were looking for is never revealed, but Vector insists that it’s urgent. 
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[I.D.: Screenshots from the beginning of the “Mad Matrix” cutscene. Espio is sitting at a computer, attempting to hack. Vector says, “Are you done yet? At this rate, the entire day will be wasted.” Espio turns and says, “Hey, back off! Data retrieval isn’t exactly my specialty.” End i.D.]
Vector attempts to locate the ARK’s computer room, again for no stated reason. 
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[I.D.: Vector at the beginning of the “Cosmic Fall” route. He says to Shadow, “We’ve got to make it to the computer room before this place collapses!” End I.D.]
Upon it being found in the True Ending, Team Chaotix once again hack inside the computer. After Gerald’s video begins playing, we don’t see them again. 
So, to recap: they are all gathering information from GUN- which was pretty much the only organization with any information on the colony- and Eggman, a member of the Robotnik family; with the fact they were later on the ARK and stealing GUN documents, it’s likely they were looking for information on Gerald on Eggman’s computer. 
So, while we don’t have the explicit mission, we can clarify that it definitely has something to do with the ARK. An important question, though, which might be able to clarify their entire mission, is who is their client? 
Part Two: Who Sent Team Chaotix on this mission?
Team Chaotix’s missions are almost exclusively client-based, and even if we say that they don’t have one, there has to be something that tipped them off that they needed to get to the ARK. 
The client themself is a bit of a mystery- it can’t be any non-chaotix main character, as literally nobody seems wise to what they’re up to. And considering Charmy was, uh, pretty much literally stealing GUN files, we can safely assume they’re not working for GUN. 
But their client had to be someone who knew there was important information on the ARK, which was pretty much unknown to everyone before SA2, and afterwards, even if we assume the ARK incident is common knowledge, there has to be something specific the Chaotix were sent after. 
And something important. 
In case you haven’t played ShTH, during the entire game, the world is being attacked by demon aliens intent on murdering and eating everything on the planet while also setting it on fire. You’d think that Chaotix would want to deal with that above a relatively unimportant mission. So whatever they were doing was more important than fighting/hiding from/investigating the apocalyptic monsters attacking them. 
What would be important than the, as I said, apocalyptic demon monsters? 
Potentially... a way to stop them. 
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[I.D.: Screenshots from a cutscene in the Last Story. Team Chaotix are attempting to hack into the ARK’s computer. Vector says, “Espio, we need you to focus, cuz if we don’t hurry all the data we recovered will be lost.” End I.D.]
So. You know how in every one of my metas there’s a part where I leap off the deep end? 
Let me just say this outright. 
What if the one who sent them on their mission... was none other than Gerald Robotnik?
So, here’s my mission statement. 
Gerald Robotnik, sensing that something bad was going to happen on the ARK, made his video message for Shadow. We know this because of, you know, the content of the message. 
After the ARK massacre, Gerald obviously cracked, but left behind some hint of the video’s existence, or a hint of a way to defeat the Black Arms that nobody picked up cause nobody knew they existed except the people on the ARK. Who, you know, GUN massacred. Thanks GUN. 
What the hint exactly was I’m not sure-- in Sonic X he wrote a shitton of stuff on the walls of his prison island jail cell, maybe he left something there. [Something to note-- Sonic X begun airing before production of ShTH, and it second and third seasons, the ones featuring Shadow, would probably be being made while ShTH was in production.] 
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[I.D.: Screenshots from Sonic X of Gerald Robotnik’s prison island cell, which has multiple scientific notes scribbled across the walls. End I.D.]
We already know the Chaotix know of Prison Island and can get there from Charmy’s appearance in his route, so them being there and seeing something left behind isn’t impossible. 
So this hint was discovered by the Chaotix, who pieced together that this ARK message would give the information needed to defeat the Black Arms-- I believe they knew that there was a message specifically, as they seem unsurprised and happy when the message appears at the end of the game, meaning it was among the things they were looking for, if not the only thing. They also figured out that the only one who could defeat said Black Arms was Shadow. Hence why they’re not only hacking into the computers of two Robotniks, but they, in different timelines, accompany and assist Shadow in his little angst party missions. 
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[I.D.: Screenshots from the end of the “Cosmic Fall” Hero Route. As Shadow walks away, depressed that he’s what he considers a failed experiment, Vector says, “Hey... don’t go there... yet! Things may not be what they seem. You could be...” End I.D.]
But then why wouldn’t they tell Shadow what they were up to? Sure, he has amnesia, so you can’t just say “your granddad might have a secret way to kill the demon aliens,” but you could say “we think there’s a message for you.” So why didn’t they? 
Because, my dear friends, they only have twenty-four hours, and it takes quite a while to explain and prove time travel to an amnesiac hedgehog. 
Part Three: What Route leads to the True Ending? The Time Travel One 
Here’s where we get into crack. 
Let’s put everything together and then go into Connie’s HellBrainMode™
The Chaotix’s mission is so secret that either they didn’t dare tell Charmy, or the ADHD 6yo understood that he had to shut up for once (and I say that with love) and thus not a single one of them dares reveal it. 
The Mission definitely pertains to the ARK, Black Arms, Robotnik Family, and Shadow. 
The Chaotix vaguely knew of the message that was needed to defeat the aliens, and so they were attempting to hack Robotnik computers to find it. 
For some reason, they don’t even tell Shadow what’s up, even though due to their penchant for traveling with him and protecting him, they likely are aware he’s a bit important at the moment. 
...so why does Shadow the Hedgehog have so many endings anyway? 
On that last point... ShTH has an insane amount of routes, but really only eleven endings, with #11 being the final, canon ending. But all the endings are plausible routes, no matter how goddamn dark they can get. It seems the only thing that separates the endings is Shadow’s choices; whether he remains neutral, assists the Black Arms, or fights for Earth. Of course, the true ending involves him fighting for Earth, his friends, and Maria’s final wish, but the path he takes over the day of the Black Arms invasion needs to lead him there. 
Does that mean he must follow a Hero route to reach that? By the time he gathers all the chaos emeralds, he can’t be in the depths of despair or convinced he’s an android, etc.; he’s definitely not in one of the endings where Eggman or Sonic die, seeing as they help him out in the True Ending. So if Eggman and Sonic are alive and Shadow’s not literally losing all hope in everything, we have to assume neither a Dark nor Neutral route was taken, as Dark tends to end with dead Sonic and Neutral tends to end with Dead Eggman. 
Something interesting-- several Hero Routes involve helping the Chaotix. Gathering the discs for Charmy, helping Espio collect necessary data, helping Vector find the infamous computer room... Of course, most Hero Routes involve helping your friends when you see them, but the Chaotix specifically are looking for GUN/Ark/Robotnik/BlackArms information. While they will not share this information with Shadow, helping them puts him on the Hero Route, aka closer to the True Ending. 
But which ending leads to the true ending? None of them, and yet all of them. 
None of them end in the place where the true ending begins-- Shadow alone with the Chaos Emeralds, ready to discover the truth about his past, and about to be ambushed by an uninjured Black Doom while his friends are about to burst in to try and save him, having apparently discovered more about what’s happening. 
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Hero endings end with Shadow defeating Black Doom earlier, Neutral ends with depressed Shadow and dead Eggman, Dark ends with angry Shadow and dead Sonic. So a whole nother timeline was taken. Then what was the point of the first ten? 
Well, through the first ten, you do learn certain information, don’t you? So who’s to say someone else going through the first ten endings wouldn’t learn something as well? If someone could, say, reset the day to the beginning every time Shadow has an angst moment and fails to save the world, and then use what they learned the last time in order to try and steer Shadow on a better path... 
And in the True Ending, when Shadow and his friends are attacked by Black Doom, Shadow hears voices in his head-- voices from several different routes. Almost as if something in his mind clicks, something that feeds every route into him to make a final decision. 
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[I.D.: Gif from the Last Story of Shadow the Hedgehog; Shadow is on the ground, and voices are heard, represented here by captions, which read, in order: “I will avenge those whose blood has been spilled!” “Did I... die?” “That’s why you were created...” and “Please help me, Shadow.” End I.D.] 
So what route leads to the last ending? All of them. All of them, so that the information gathered... gets the Chaotix on the ARK. To get the message out to Shadow. 
Part Four: The Timeline of the Chaotix Time Travel 
Every route begins with the same cutscene-- the beginning of the day, as the Black Arms invade... as their comet gets close enough to reach the planet. Let’s say, hmm, Gerald, for example, realized something might go horribly wrong when the Black Arms showed up if Shadow was traumatized and confused, and tried to make some kind of safeguard. The safeguard ended up being a reset button,* but it relied on the position of the Black Arms’ comet-- so thus, you can only reset to the beginning of its approach. The beginning of the day. And only the one(s) pressing the button remembers the reset, that could be an issue. 
*Note: we’re using “reset button” as a general term, obviously it doesn’t have to be a literal button. 
The Chaotix break into the remains of Prison Island sometime before the Black Arms attack; perhaps they sensed something was up, perhaps they noticed some weird stuff was going on, who knows. But they get in there, and find Gerald’s notes, and figure out some important stuff-- the Black Arms are invading, there’s a way to stop them on the ARK, and... oh, what’s this, this thing that the GUN scientists could never figure out how to use but hid away in case they figured it out one day. It’s a comet reset button? 
Oh, comet, like the one right overhead-- oops. 
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The Chaotix are unable to stop the comet from arriving in the first place. So Vector puts together all the pieces-- “ultimate lifeform,” fifty-year timeskiip, whatever hints Gerald left-- and figures out that, likely, Gerald knew about the Black Arms, how to stop them, and that his ultimate lifeform, Shadow, is the key to saving the planet. 
He sends Charmy to retrieve discs from GUN involving the ARK and Gerald on Prison Island, and then sets Espio to hacking into Eggman’s systems. Once they’ve got the info they need, they hop on a spaceship and race to the ARK. Thing is... each of these steps could go wrong in any way. Charmy doesn’t find the discs, Espio can’t reach the data, Vector can’t find the computer room, they fail to reach the ARK, or, above all, Shadow shows up and fucks up their shit. 
Thankfully, the Chaotix have the day reset. Every time the planet starts to go to shit, Vector resets. Shadow just killed Sonic? Reset it, now, before those demons crash into Earth. Omega just texted Rouge to tell her that Shadow is convinced he’s destined to lead a robot uprising? Reset. Shadow is depressed thinking he’s a failed experiment that never should have been created and thus literally falls into such a state he can’t or won’t fight the Black Arms? Gotta reset that shit. They reset at least ten times, each time gaining more information and figuring out what they have to do. Charmy gets Shadow’s help in one route, then in the next timeline repeat remembers the locations. Espio knows how to break into Eggman’s computer. Vector figures out where they need to go. They figure out where the Chaos Emeralds are and where and when to get them to Shadow. 
The eleventh and final reset begins, and Chaotix informs the Sonic Squad that the Black Arms need the Chaos Emeralds to destroy the planet and that they need to go keep an eye on Shadow. Somehow they get Eggman onboard-- idk they probably just namedropped Gerald and he listened to whatever they had to say. Once they’re sent off, they rush to the ARK. 
Shadow, in the Last Route, has gathered the Chaos Emeralds off the ARK, somewhere on the below planet. Everyone else is on Earth, including Sonic, Black Doom, Eggman... 
Everyone but the Chaotix. 
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The Chaotix, who continue working on this Big Case even after the Black Comet has descended through Earth’s atmosphere and the Black Arms are killing everyone on the planet. 
The Chaotix, who are trying to hack into Gerald’s computer, looking for something important. 
The Chaotix, who show absolutely no surprise or concern when Gerald’s message appears, implying that this could be what they were looking for. 
The Chaotix, who are not seen again after the message is played. 
Because their work is done. 
Shadow’s choices lead him to make the right decision, but that final push he needs to defeat Black Doom is Gerald and Maria’s message. And once it’s played, he saves the goddamn world. 
And then is stuck on the ARK with the Chaotix until the next game. Oops. 
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Text
Sweet Pandemonium - Gally (The Maze Runner) Part 12 of 16
Ugh, sorry for the slow updates nowadays. Starting a new semester in college is stressful and I’m trying to focus more on school since I suck at it.
~~~~~~~~~~
( not my gif )
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You and Gally felt that you two were caught up enough to go back out to the others, well, you tried to think that anyway.
You felt you could never get enough time with Gally that would satisfy you. You never felt so clingy to a person before. It was weird, and you hoped it wouldn’t damage everything around you.
Even if you just got him back, even if all you wanted was to be held by him, you had to stay focused on the survival of all your friends now. You couldn’t be clingy.
Gally on the other hand, could live with losing everything if it meant that you were safe. He obviously cared about his friends and saving Minho, but he didn’t want you to be involved in any way that could get you killed. No way. Remembering how helpless and scared he felt on the brink of death, Gally never wants you to feel that same fear.
Gally didn’t even want to leave the little room you two were in, you had force him out, leading you both back to rejoin the others with your hand holding his.
“Having fun in there?” Frypan voiced, grinning widely, genuinely happy that you two found each other again.
“Shut up, Fry.” Gally said for you, but still blushed.
Thomas rolled his eyes. “We need your help, Y/N.”
You reluctantly let go of Gally’s hand, turning to face Thomas. “Yeah, I figured.” Gally scowled at Thomas, still keeping you close to him.
“We came here to save you and Minho, we thought you’d be still locked up though. But is he okay? Where is he being held, do you know? And how have you been able to walk around the city?”
“Hey!” Gally’s voiced boomed. “Back off with the questions, will ya? You’re stressing her out.” He scolded Thomas.
“Hey, it’s okay.” You tried to calm Gally. In the back of your mind, you found it amusing that you were back to your old ways, having to calm him whenever he got angry. You walked over and sat in a chair. “This was my first time allowed to walk around the city.”
“How’d ya manage to do that?” Newt asked, knowing how W.C.K.D. must’ve treated their “guests.”
“Teresa. She pulled some strings.”
“Guess being cousin’s with her has its benefits.”
“How’s Minho, though?” Thomas asked, trying to get the conversation on track.
“Last time I saw him, he was fine. Alive. We were cell mates for a while, but Teresa moved me into her apartment.”
“So, you’ve been getting special treatment while Minho is being tortured...” Thomas mumbled bitterly, but you heard and scowled.
“You have no fucking idea, Thomas. I might be related to her, but she still lets them do whatever they want to me. The only thing she does is not let them kill me.” You ranted, causing everyone to go silent, Gally moving closer to you to intervene if you decided to teach the Greenie a lesson.
Thomas was pale, remorse radiating off of his body as he tried to compose himself. “Y/N...I’m sorry.” He said nervously. “I just want Minho back. He needs us.”
You dropped your anger, knowing that Thomas really just means well. He wanted to save Minho just as much as you did. “How can I help?”
“We need Teresa if we want this to work.”
“And what? You want me to kidnap her or something?”
“No, lead her to us. That’s it.”
To say that you were less than pleased would be an understatement. As soon as you saw Thomas, saw Newt, Fry, Gally, you felt you were finally free from that place. Now they want you to go back?
You didn’t want to, of course. Your knees felt like they would buckle under the pressure of agreeing to the plan. But so far, that seems to be the only option. You can’t just say no, you owed it to Minho to help out any way that you could. How you can help just so happens to be something you also fear...wonderful.
“Wait.” Gally voices suddenly. “You’re saying Y/N has to go back to that place?”
“She’s the only one who can get Teresa to us. She cares about Y/N.”
Gally shook his head and glared. This is exactly what he didn’t want. “No, Thomas. What if they never let her back out? No. No, she’s not going back.”
You rolled your eyes, they were talking like you weren’t even there. “Gally, it’s okay-”
“No, it’s not.”
“Minho needs our help.” You sighed, deciding to just bite the bullet and take one for the team. “It’s worth the risk.”
“Not to me.”
“Y/N will be okay. We came up a plan. You’ll go back, earn their trust. I’m sure Teresa already trusts you if she convinced them to let you go for awhile. They’ll be sure to let you back out.” Thomas said.
“Wait, what about the man that was guarding me?”
Thomas frowned, an irritated look painting his face. “Someone accidently,” He finger quoted, “killed him.” He glared at Gally.
“The shank deserved it.” Was Gally’s only defense.
Your heart sank, and Thomas seemed to notice. “It’ll be okay. You could just say your guard left, or something. Maybe you’ll gain more favor if you come back by yourself when you could’ve escaped.”
Gally scoffed. “This is such a stupid plan.”
“It’s all we’ve got, and we’re running out of time. If there was ever a chance to do this, now is the time. We’ve got a window, we just have to take it.”
“For Minho.” Newt voiced.
You couldn’t help but smile softly. “He would do the same for me.”
Gally huffed, storming away. He started to feel the way he felt when Thomas came up in the Glade, he was starting to lose control of everything. Like he had no say in what happens anymore. He felt like he was going to lose you due to some stupid plan that shank had, again. But then he remembered you’re alive because of Thomas, and if you had stayed with him in the Glade, you’d both be dead.
“Damn it.” Gally cursed aloud.
“Gally?” You voiced softly, coming up to stand behind him.
“I don’t like this, Y/N.”
“Well, what would you have me do then? Refuse this plan? Abandon Minho when I can help him?”
Gally sighed as he turned to face you, bringing his arms to rest on your shoulders. “No...” He mumbled. “...I don’t want to lose you again.”
You frowned, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his chest. “You won’t. I trust Thomas. The plan will work.”
“How can you be so sure?”
You shrugged. “I’m not. I just hope that.”
“That’s not very reassuring.”
“I’ve never been great at reassurance.” You nervously chuckled. “I can’t sit idly by knowing that I can help Minho, I just can’t.”
Gally understood, he really did. He felt that way when he learned the full extent of what was really going on at W.C.K.D. He knew you were right when you said Minho would do the same for you. If it was the other way around, he probably would’ve forced everyone to rescue you.
“I know...” Gally sighed, pulling you in for another hug and nuzzling his face in your shoulder.
“Hey...” You spoke softly, bringing a hand up to cradle his face. “You’re not gonna lose me, Gal. W.C.K.D. needs me for some reason, so I’m pretty sure they won’t kill me. Even if Teresa is on their side, I don’t think she’d just let them kill her only relative. That has to count for something.”
Gally chuckled tearfully. “You could’ve led with that, ya know?”
You smiled softly, taking Gally’s hand to lead him back to the group.
Even after discussing the full extent of the plan, it still left a bad taste in Gally’s mouth. But after getting a pep talk from Thomas, and encouragements from everyone else, you looked so sure of yourself.
Gally just wished he felt the same.
“This will work.” Thomas reiterated.
“I hope so.” You sighed, looking over to see Gally leaning against the wall with a sour look on his face. 
Thomas followed your gaze. “Yeah, who knows what he’ll do to me if it doesn’t.” He tried to joke, and thankfully, you offered a little smile. “You ready?” He asked seriously.
You nodded, trying not to look as nervous as you felt.
“Wish I had some more words of encouragement, love.” Newt said as he hugged you.
You chuckled softly. “You’ve done enough already. I’m just glad you’re here, that I got to see you again.”
“That doesn’t sound too hopeful.”
“You wouldn’t believe me either way.”
Newt smiled weakly, bringing you in for another hug before allowing allowing Frypan to wish you luck too. 
Gally walked up to you slowly, gazing at you worryingly before wrapping his arms around your shoulders for the umpteenth time that day. You instantly melted into his embrace, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax. Almost if time had stopped, you and Gally just stood there together, wishing for each other’s safety as big plays against W.C.K.D. were finally starting to come to fruition.
“I’ll be okay.” You whispered.
Gally didn’t have a response that could validate your hopefulness. He hated himself for being such a pessimist, especially in times like these where it’s needed for morale. He only hugged you tighter, and somehow you understood how difficult this would be for him. It would be difficult for you both.
You wished things were different. That the world was different. But it wasn’t, and it wouldn’t change by itself. You weren’t foolish enough to believe that, neither was Gally. This had to happen eventually. W.C.K.D. couldn’t get away with their methods forever.
You pulled away first, knowing that time wouldn’t stop for anyone.
Gally delicately brushed a strand of hair from your face, lingering his fingers on your skin that had somehow stayed smooth after everything you’d been through. He willed himself not to cry as Thomas called out for you, that it was time to take you back to enact the plan.
Gally was never good with words, that much was obvious. So, instead of expressing how much he would die inside if anything happened to you, he leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on your lips.
Gally cradled your face in his hands as he moved his lips against yours. The kiss definitely wasn’t as passionate as the ones before, but you still felt light headed from all the love that you felt radiating from him. But you couldn’t help but feel the kiss had a sense of sorrow, like he was never going to see you again. It was never Gally’s intention to make you feel that way, he just wanted you to feel loved.
“Y/N...” Thomas said sadly. “Time to go.”
You pulled away from Gally reluctantly, the sight of him looking more pitiful than ever with the hint of tears at the corner of his eyes, it broke your heart.
You tried to smile, but it only came out forced. “I’ll get this done, don’t you worry, Captain.” 
The nickname made Gally smile softly, he gave you one last kiss on your forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Gal.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Stream Dreamy Nights by LilyPichu for feelz 😭
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pullmycord · 4 years
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If I start talking about the parallels in hxh I'll collapse and yes it's been said before but obviously the most obvious ones are between the two duos out of the main four, leorio&KP and killua&gon are the obvious split as to who they're closest to/spend the most time with
Killua and Gon seem to have very different childhoods but the theme of being abandoned and never having anyone to be close to runs through both of them. And it's resulted in a lack of self worth and a "it's alright for me to die, but you're not allowed to" attitude. In a way I think killua is a healthier example of this because we see him actually deal with his trauma in a way that Gon doesn't really, plus I think alluka's presence with killua will start to shake him from that narrative because she needs him to BE there so no logic of "it's ok if I die" is going to make sense for him anymore, but Gon is going to have to find his own reasons to shake those ideas.
Kurapika and Leorios backstories also seem to be very different, but the common thread is they were utterly helpless to stop the deaths of their loved ones. Both became completely alone at a young age due to factors completely out of their control, and that caused them to fixate on a constant that they could accumulate -- leorio on money, and kurapika on his own power (I know he only learns nen later, but before that he masters 3 or more weapons in a relatively short period of time). Neither of them fall into the (frankly) suicidal spiral that k&g do, possibly because they're older and had more time to process their trauma, and also because they have very explicit goals which require them to be alive. Both of them clearly care about their friends and want to shield them from danger. Leorio knows that k&g are children and tries to get them to eat healthy and go to bed on time, and even though he knows they are actually better fighters than he himself, you get the impression he wants to roll them up blankets and make them watch cartoons while he deals with anyone who would ever hurt them. In kurapika this love and protective instinct manifests in shutting them out of his mission -- and I don't think this is selfishness. I think getting the other three involved in the spiderhunt in yorknew would have been the wrong decision -- k&g were not powerful enough to defeat even one member of the troupe, and leorio even less so. But still kp.... Pick up the phone he misses u :(
One thing that binds all 4 together is they have an intense and powerful familial connection to one another and would do almost anything to protect each other. Each one sees the other three as powerful peers who are strong in their own right... But they also want nothing bad to happen to them, ever >:(
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sandwyrm · 3 years
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💧 Kruga and Kaz too
💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?
Rude. Do you even know how rude?
Kruga is Dragonmaw so we're already off to a great start, because she was a baby when the Battle of Grim Batol happened. Her dad whisked her away to get her out of the way of all the death and ruin, and thought the best chance he'd have to keep her safe was to take her to the Frostwolf clan. They agreed to take her in temporarily as Dad returned to the fight to hopefully find Mom alive or at least see the fallout, and then return. Of course, he never returned because of course I'd go the angst route 👍
But we also know exactly what happened to many of the Frostwolves after Warcraft2, being in Alterac and all, so yes. Her new family (by that I mean Kaz's mom and baby Kaz) got captured by humans and thrown in an internment camp, where she spent the first decade of her life.
So we can safely say that, no, neither Kruga nor Kaz have any such memories of childhood that are made and kept only in good circumstances, but they definitely can logically conclude all of the childhood milestones happened between tall walls and iron gates. And obviously, could not keep any physical mementos since they'd get nothing.
But emotional or behavioral mementos count, right?
First, they're really close. Not only is something like that expected to make the people involved closer through the shared experience, but they also didn't really have other kids their age or that many other peers around. They learned to fight from the humans, with their techniques and weapons, because in their eyes the orc's prefered weapons (axes and maces and so forth) were primitive and unrefined. Kaz sort of adapted to more orcish fighting styles due to his size and training, but Kruga still favors a sword or polearm even long after, to the chagrin of her orcish compatriots. Now we all know that story that the humans in charge of the camps thought they could 'unsavage' the orc children, so they stayed around the humans for a long time and did chores and were educated by the nobles of the keep. Since Kaz regularly had to help in the kitchens, he can bake and cook real well and has a love for it. And Kruga is quite good with sewing and writing compared to most orcs. They're also both fluent in Common, and Kruga also kept a love for devouring books, but she would not really admit to it. They are both more mellow and polite and well-spoken than the orc racial average (and ideal), so yeah, I could safely say that while they don't have any typical and cute childhood memories and mementos, their childhood did shape them quite a lot and they keep a lot of the habits picked up back then.
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thekavseklabs · 3 years
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💣 ⛈️ 🦄
This got loooooong because I wasn't sure which muses you wanted me to do it for so i did them ALL and put it under a readmore!
💣: A stress headcanon
3: Just... Look at them. Everything stresses them the fuck out. But let's focus on something specific- they're seriously germaphobic, and have NO coping mechanisms for this! They are always, always stressing about what they're touching and what is touching them and what they're breathing and oh god oh shit where is the hand sanitizer they need to DRINK IT-
C: Now, C struggles with this tendency to dehumanize strangers, but if they don't do that? If they awknowledge youre a person? Oh boy. They are so anxious about what people think of them. Are you scared of them? Do you hate them? Do you know what they've done? Are you going to hurt them for it? They are freaking out.
Vynathr: The man is rarely more stressed than when he is in a crowd. So many sights and sounds, he is surrounded, his back exposed, his movement limited, and he can't process any of it. He's terrified that he'll hurt someone somehow, or that the crowd will become violent. It will leave him frazzled for the rest of the day and the next morning too.
Spades: I don't talk about it often but Spades has an empire of his own to lead! He's always busy, and when he's not working he's thinking about work. Slowly taking over larger and larger areas, extending and expanding his forces, keeping loyalty and keeping all at arms-length. He's about one bad day away from exploding from the stress and work of it. Someone give the poor boy a massage and a snuggle.
Xavier: Being an alcoholic and a pathological liar leading a crew of pirates is... Not always a fun time. He has to handle all of the smart and responsible things to do, keep a budget for food, and keep them all from getting killed while lacking any healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with all of this. Man is on the world's shittiest glamorized rollercoaster and there is no end to the loops and spins.
⛈️: A sadness headcanon
3: Their feeling of being unworthy and unwanted has persisted through their life. They have considered many times the sum of their actions. They know that dying will not fix anything, only make it worse. Or worthless. But they know that if they succeed in their experiments, they will become a core- and at times, they wonder if those downsides they have heard of are downsides at all. Wouldn't it be nice if their sins were erased by the warp of time whem they are gone?
C: C has never been pet on the head. Never had a parent to do so, never a loved one. Even in verses where their mother is alive, she does not love them to do so, and neither did their babysitters. The closest they've come is a friendly pat on the arm from an opponent after a good fight. They long for touch more than anything in the world.
Vynathr: He remembers being a kit. Remembers being cradled in his mothers arms as she tried to hide him from their slave masters, remembers the horror in her eyes. Remembers the sounds of screams. He remembers as well the feeling of her hand in his short hair, her beautiful hum, her well wishes. Her fingers which seemed so large clutched in his little hands as his unsteady paws carry him across the floor in his first steps, supported by her patience. He remembers being loved when he was nothing. He knows that now that he is something, he must be something bad, because no one loves him.
Spades: He was in love before he ran to earth. He never got the chance to say so, and would never go back to try. If asked, he would not tell you the name of this individual- only that he knew that he was loved in return. Perhaps this was what stung him the most. Oh, how he misses that fool of a boy. He hopes he's okay, wherever he is now.
Xavier: He had a little sister. One of his many necklaces he wears at all time is actually a locket, containing two pictures of them. The first is them looking excited, grinning with their arms around each other. They seem to be at a party or dance of some kind. His sister is holding a wrapped box. The second is them snuggled together, his arm around her. She's asleep, and he looks content, nearly asleep himself. There are two larger adult figures half out of frame on each side, arms wrapped around the children. The lighting is dim in both. He misses these moments more than anything, and cries over the locket often.
🦄: A physical health headcanon
3: They are just, physically gone to shit. They have Marfan syndrome with moderate to severe damage, an eating disorder, severe dietary issues, an exremely weak immune system, insomnia, and periodic bouts of severe illness. Not to mention old injuries from experiments that act up at times, and in fantasy verses, the red plague/consequences of blood magic gone severely wrong. They are typically quadriplegic, and this is less serious but they're pretty nearsighted too. They look like death warmed over at all times. God help them.
C: You would think that a cyborg would be in stellar physical health. You would be wrong. They have bouts of a strange illness called Reversal, in which their body malfunctions due to their unusual diet. It involves fever, chills, spasms, hallucinations, abdominal and throat pain, and vomiting at times- said vomiting is dangerous to others considering they essentially eat time-and-space-warping acid formed from pure life force. 0/10, would not reccomend.
Vynathr: He has gigantism, however, he's very lucky in that it has pretty much only affected his height. His face (and specific facial features), hands and feet are proportional, as are his organs. He doesn't suffer from muscle weakness (obviously... Look at him), double vision, the sweating, restricted movement, none of it. Extremely lucky indeed. He does suffer from hearing issues, and his puberty was delayed. Due to the differences in how humans and kei grow, I will note that the abnormal growth did not begin until after he left the "kit" stage, which took a very long time for him. The growth ended in his lower 20s. He does have various other physical health stuff i could talk abt but I thought I'd get specific about the gigantism this time.
Spades: Spades is farsighted, and this does impact his ability in combat. His depth perception is also slightly off at times. He struggles with eating at times, and requires occasional doses of Progressive Energy- you know, that spacetime warping acid formed from pure life force. Very fun. It gives him fevers sometimes, the rare occasional spasm, but thankfully not the rest of C's illness. He uses a cane, leg braces, or crutches sometimes, depending on severity of pain and stiffness in his bad leg that day.
Xavier: The man is at his peak right now, but that could end at any time. He smokes, drinks, and does various drugs- at some point that is definitely going to impact his health, if he doesn't get injured first. He suffers a few bodily aches as well due to old injuries, such as stiffness and pain, occasional limited range of motion from a bad dislocated shoulder he once got on the battlefield. He has tinnitus and headaches at times as well, and there's some shrapnel in him. That's not even getting into the whole missing hand and the struggles that come with that.
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adamarinayu · 4 years
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Can you tell us more about your author au, back in action au, and Notre duck au? Sorry if I'm asking for a lot but I just saw them on your AU list and they caught my interest 😅
Haha sure! I haven’t worked on any of them in a while but here we go! It’s a bit long, especially the Back in Action section....
In the Author AU, Donald is an author who works under a pseudonym, so that he and the triplets can have some normalcy in life while also being able to support them comfortably. He’s the author of a best selling series, which is the Paperinik series (maybe in this AU it’ll be called Duck Avenger, idk). 
He began writing the PK stories during highschool, and they were published as shorts regularly in a small magazine. Of course, being a teenager, it began as a fantasy- it was how he vented his frustrations. Gladstone, of course, figured it out, as did Della, but Scrooge had no interest so no one else outside of Donald’s closest circle (that is to say, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy and Goofy) knew. It soon grew to be a hero story, rather than a story about vengeance. At this point there are no nephews in the story.
After highschool, his story got picked up by a publishing company and Uno was his agent. He ended up including the character ONE based off of Uno, which Uno is equal parts amused and exasperated by (”Honestly, I thought you said you wanted to be anonymous.”). The two don’t officially become friends, however, until a couple of years later, when Della went missing. Donald had taken a surprisingly dark turn in the story which would have resulted in killing off the main characters, at which point Uno decided to intervene and talk to him. With Uno’s support and growing friendship Donald rewrote the story, keeping the darker tone but ending it on a higher note with all the characters alive and happy.
Donald also gave PK a family of his own, having him be a single father to three children (hinted heavily at them being adopted, after PK saved them as eggs), a decision which forever changed the direction of the books from being about a duck who fights because it’s all he’s good for, to being about a duck who fights because he has something worth fighting for. He and Uno obviously become very close over this time.
Gladstone reads every book that comes out. He always wins a free edition but insists on buying it, as his way of helping Donald out. He uses the tone of each book and the events that happen in them to determine whether or not he needs to come and kick a little sense into Donald.
Donald ultimately concludes the book series after Della comes back, with the story having a happy ending all around. Which definitely includes ONE getting a physical body and joining the family. Unsurprisingly he and Uno get married. Scrooge and the kids find out he’s the author of PK after Scrooge announces his studio bought the movie rights to the film lol. Della and Gladstone are just like “wow seriously, you guys didn’t see the writing clear on the wall?”
--
The Back in Action AU is basically, PK was a TV show and Donald was the titular character, PK. His co-star was Uno, who lent his voice and face to the character ONE (the names of all the characters in PK are changed, ofc, their real names are the actors’ names now, except for Uno and Xadhoom). The entire cast (yes, including Angus Fangus) were a pretty tight-knit family, of a sort. So while Della and Scrooge were adventuring (as he had left the adventure life behind, feeling as if he wasn’t contributing or seen as an equal among the group) he became part of a family of his own. Daisy also played PK’s love interest, though the two of them are actually more like Best Pals. They went to highschool together so. Daisy wasn’t in the main cast and was just a recurring character, as she had a main role in another series.
The triplets in PK were just babies, but PK wasn’t their primary caretaker. They were more like background characters, but occasionally PK would get roped into babysitting them and having to balance watching the children and saving the world because “oh god even if I stop the Evronian invasion if any of their feathers get singed my sister will kill me!” (Note, PK’s sister was only seen in photos and was a blonde, like in the original comics. You can hear her voice now and then though)
Donald was close with everyone (oh the bloopers he and Angus had.... and of course the Evronians, something ALWAYS went wrong with their costumes!) but Uno became his best friend (and his almost-more). The series was the most popular thing on TV for a while, and Gladstone and Fethry were so proud of their brother cousin and so sad that Scrooge and Della were missing the best moments of his life. Gladstone and Fethry are much more involved in Donald’s life than Della and Scrooge are in this AU. That isn’t to say they don’t all love each other very much, it’s just Della and Scrooge’s interests laid elsewhere.
Anyway, every series hits its end, and more often than not it comes much faster than planned. PK ended a whole season sooner than expected, due to the sudden buyout of their studio and the new owners choosing to shut PK down in favour of one of their own shows (couldn’t afford both at the same time, and their own show had a smaller budget). So the series ended on the cliffhanger of PK losing ONE and (Lyla’s character), the Evronians being defeated and PK choosing to hang up his cape because of just how much that final battle cost him. It was an ending that angered many people, extremely upsetting especially knowing that it hadn’t been the planned ending of the series.
The entire cast and crew split up, most still staying in acting but a few leaving. Donald went back to adventuring with Scrooge and Della while Uno went back to Italy with his brothers (Due and Tre, the former of which played a major part in 2-3 episodes) to work in their father’s lab. They ended up falling out of contact (not by their own choice, just due to the nature of their jobs). Then a few years later Della went missing and Donald was left caring for her three children- it was a bit ironic, perhaps.
In the 10-12 years Donald was taking care of them, a “sequel” movie and a spinoff came to be with different actors and stories, but neither were well received because they lacked the “spirit” and charm of the original series. Especially the spinoff, which was animated in a very Saturday-morning style.
The triplets don’t really know about the OG PK, only knowing it by the spinoff, or that their uncle used to be a big name actor. However, 10 or so years later it’s announced that PK is coming back.... with the original writers and actors (except for the kids). Including Donald Fauntleroy Duck, the actor who played the titular PK. They are shook.
The original children who played PK’s nephews were unavailable (”We were like 2 during all that, we really don’t care”) and, besides that, had already aged out of the roles (the comeback was a Ten Years Later kind of deal, and it had been more like 14 or 15 since the end of the show, so the original kids were already mid-late teens. Therefore, when the director discovered Donald was now caring for his three nephews (convenient that there were three) he suggested they play the role of the triplets. Donald left it up to the triplets, under the stipulation that they would have minor roles (as the triplets always did) and this wouldn’t interfere with school.
They actually made a whole new role for Webby in the show! Because the triplets agreed on the condition that Webby gets to join them. And that’s how Webby began to play the triplets’ younger sister. The director decided to take a page out of Donald’s real life and wrote PK’s sister out (this was also partially because the actress had died) so PK was now being a full-time father to his kids who had no idea who he really was.
But then Donald finds out that not only is Lyla there, not only is Angus there... so is Uno. Uno and both of his brothers. It’s quite a reunion. And of course everyone expects Donald’s most emotional reunion to be with Daisy, but no. It’s Uno. And Uno is the one he ends up on the front of a magazine with lol.
Also yeah they get married :3
Man I think I may have overspoke about this one XD But I really enjoy this one what can I say jkkghfdsjlk
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Notre Duck!! That’s another one I enjoy though it isn’t as in-depth as the last. So basically Everett came to Earth, and it’s kinda like.... a Duck version of medieval times. He came here for inspiration, then ended up building Uno, who became like a son to him. However, when other flesh-and-blood ducks realized he was an android, they became fearful and called him a monster, and tried to attack and run him out of town.
After that, Everett hid him away in a tower attached to a church, where no one but the church staff would go. He didn’t want to lose his android son. But Uno watches the world below his tower change, dreaming of a day when he could go out there too.
One day he meets Donald, who is a street performer with an association to Scrooge McDuck, a king in a neighboring kingdom. Donald finds out very quickly that he is an android and doesn’t judge him for it, instead encouraging him to leave the tower because “life is about the adventure.” This, of course, does not sit well with Everett, who forbids Uno from leaving the tower or seeing Donald.
Donald is wanted by the lord of the city, who wants to use him against Scrooge (and earn favour with his own king). There’s no creepy old men lusting after young women and no slurs being used casually so.
Also anyway this actually spawned from me imagining Uno to the song Out There so yeah.
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Loki Smutt
Warning: R 18+ material is restricted to adults. Such material may contain elements such as sex scenes that are high in impact. Some material in R18+ may be offensive to sections of the adult community.
Within the palace of Asgard, a well known royal Asgardian descendants family who have resigned in Midgard in a place known as; The Hidden Kingdom of Camelot. (Name) and her family were visiting the King and Queen of Asgard for common courtesy between the Royals. It had been about two months that (Name) and her family had been visiting Asgard; where she and her family had gotten to know the King and Queen; Odin, Frigga, and the young princes, Thor and Loki.
Loki and (Name) never really got along with one another and this didn't sit well with their families. Neither of the two could or would agree on the same things like; Hunting or training, the only thing they could agree on was literature. Obviously this was a problem when they went on trips to the market, Hunting, or just simple errands; Usually, Loki and (Name) were partnered together while Thor was off training, defending a village nearby with the warrior three or he was looking after (Name)'s older sister. Often the two would argue and just ended up going their separate ways and would help each other due to their pride, it would usually end with their Parents scolding them.
It was Christmas -within Midgard terms- and (Name) was helping make the jól feast for the Banquet with the servants much to Odin and (Name)'s fathers' disapproval. Loki, Thor, and the warrior three were out hunting to retrieve food for the feast "Can we go home now... your loudness is frightening the wildlife within a mile or two radius... I'm sure we have some meat for the feast back home" Loki sighed "Brother, where is your festive spirit! It is a tradition. Father will be so proud if we bring back a mighty beast for the feast" Thor smiled patting Loki's back. At some point, the two young princes began to speak of their guests. Thor was baffled by the young princesses' attitude towards certain things "Lady (Name) is a strange one...She is Asgardian however she seems more Midgardian than anything" Thor commented "Well she has lived most of her life on Midgard brother, you can't be so shocked as it's only natural" Loki sighed at his brother's comment "But she mingles with the servants, she should be sitting back with Mother planning the decorations and sitting back to relax" Thor shook his head with a smile "Well, at least she isn't being useless..." Loki muttered "Why do you and Lady (Name) argue to no ends? It seems that there is always an argument between you two. It is very rare to see you both converse on civil terms brother" Thor asked and stated his observation "She is easy to get a reaction from, but she is infuriating... she always has the last say, she believes she knows everything" Loki growled out "Now, now brother. Some of her reasoning is that of truth, you just don't like being wrong. Loki, Lady (Name) is the only one who is brave enough to go head-on with you in your spills of anger.  Not to mention her quick wit that is up to your standard brother" Thor laughed smacking Loki's back "And what are you implying you oaf" the younger prince glared "We are not blind. You'd have to be blind not to see the way you give her glances when you think no one is watching" Lady Sif commented riding up next to them. Loki stared at her with a harsh glare as Thor agreed with a bright smile as the other warrior three joined in with the slight teasing "You are all being imbeciles. I feel nothing for that woman-" "Do you deny the fact that she is intelligent than the average woman on Asgard or Midgard?" Lady Sif asked "No, I do not deny the fact she has intelligence" Loki grumbled "Do you disagree with the idea of her being a very attractive princess?" Fandral commented with a smirk "Finding someone attractive is subjective-" "Don't divert the question brother," Thor said with amusement "Just go find a beastly animal to slay so we can go home" Loki scoffed. As he reached his patents Thor took the others to catch the beast as Loki lingered behind lost in his thoughts and feeling over (Name).
Food had been set for the Animals that both Thor, Loki, and his friends had killed were roasted and in the center of the long table. (Name) was helping the servants plate everything up and smiling and laughing with them as they talked and joked amongst themselves. Most of the servants that worked in the palace were very fond of the young princess, she truly was kind and compassionate and would make an exceptional Queen. Frigga watched how (Name) would act not only with her sons but with the common people and it made her smile, Odin knew she was headstrong and he was well aware of her maturity and strategic strategies; he had faith she would make a powerful Queen. Odin would be lying if he said he didn't want (Name) to marry one of his sons. (Name) had taken a seat by the servants "Lady (Name) please sit with us on the main table" Frigga smiled. With a small nod (Name) bid farewell to the servants and sat by her mother and sister "Honestly (Name)....you need to stop mingling with the servants, you make our family look bad and ill-mannered" snapped her older sister "Maybe if you weren't so superficial like Father then perhaps I would be more likely to speak to you and others of our status with more respect and enjoy their presence" (Name) glared "(Name), don't speak to your sister like that" her Father snapped. Frigga did not comment on their family bickering neither did Odin however Loki chimed in to stir the cauldron "Your sister is right Lady (Name). A princess should know her place and stay in her place" smirked the young prince "Loki-" Frigga started "I would appreciate that a young prince like yourself would stay out of other families' feuds. Know your place and stay out of the discussion, Loki Odinson" (Name) said calmly. Loki could feel his blood boil, he scoffed "While you are in my Palace I shall do as I please and get involved in anything I please-" "Loki enough. While I am still alive and breathing this is my palace. When I pass it will be Thor's, so stay out of the (Last name) family business" Odin said cutting in.
The jól feast continued through the night; from her understanding jól would last three days of drinking, eating, joking, singing, dancing, and gift-giving. (Name) wasn't used to it but she was growing tired of the drunk and loud people, and thus decided to retire early for the first night of jól. (Name) and Loki had their heated arguments now and then, but the truth is told, she liked him. Not because of his looks but his personality to an extent; not the one he chose to show when he is blinded by his anger, or his cold demeanor or his jealousy, but rather his loving one, that he only showed a glimpse of in rare moments. He was funny, and he really understood her from time to time. But their common flaw was that the two were far too guarded with their emotions and would often hide their feelings; so others wouldn't get hurt or hate them for who you really are.
(Name) was making her way to chambers; lost in thought momentarily. She had walked through the tremendous hallways in the palace so many times that she already knew her way around the place. Walking to her chambers, which was across from Loki's room (unfortunately). She lingered as she stared at his door; with an arm outstretched she was ready to knock on his door-
A crash came from her room as the door slammed open and there stood Loki disheveled in his casual attire of green and dark brown that he had worn to the jól feast. "Loki! By all the good in Valhalla, what on earth are you doing in my room?" she said with a sigh. Loki stared at her for a moment then scoffed, pushing past her. She was attempting not to lock eyes with him but his messy black hair; his pale skin and his eyes,  his piercing green eyes that held so many secrets. Although he did not answer her she snapped at him, as if time slowed down as she made her way into her room. Loki grabbed a hold of her arm with a firm grip, he held a sinister smile as he looked down at her slightly; turn her so she was facing him, (Name) was now mostly in her room while Loki stood in the doorway with her arm in a firm grip "I would be careful when speaking to me. I stand by what I said today, now your place (Name)" She snatched her arm back and sized up to him "You either tell me what in Valhalla were you doing in my room or I suggest you head back to your room, Loki" she spoke bitterly. He just smiled although it seemed like he was hurt by her harsh tone, (Name) kept her glare at the floor. Loki sighed softly, his hurt smile leaving and replacing it with a frown. His lack of response unsettled the foreign Asgardian, she grabbed the door and began to close it "You don't understand, (Name). I really need to tell you something" his voice quietly cracked. He stopped the door with his foot. The quiet voice crack grabbed her attention immediately.
Loki decided that she probably didn't want to talk to him. In honesty, the only reason he was in her room where he was debating on leaving her a note explaining some stirring feelings he had for her, but the room was dark and he had stumbled into a corner of her dresser. He turned to his room once he realized (Name)'s stillness and unwillingness to open her door to let him in. (Name) heard his door slam shut. She heaved out a sigh 'by the god...please don't make me regret this' she thought as she closed her outdoor as she walked over to his shut door. Opening the door she saw Loki sitting on the corner of his bed with his head in his hands. She frowned slowly closing the door behind her as she made her way to him "What do you want" he called out bitterly "Don't be such a woman. What's wrong with you? You're not usually, like this" she said gesturing towards him "....Why would you care" he snapped glaring at her "Loki..." her voice was soft as she sat next to him "I care because...well... I really do see you as someone I am close to" "You mean like friends?" he sounded disgusted "...Don't sound so disgusted and I wouldn't go that far. We aren't friends" she smiled slightly "More like, strangers that are closer than the common stranger" Loki stayed quiet. Collecting his thought and letting her words sink in- "Loki... tell me what's wrong?" "I genuinely enjoy your company, even if you do get on my nerves sometimes. I find you frustratingly intelligent yet somewhat dense when you have your 'Thor' moments" he chuckled lightly "What I'm trying to say is... when you head back to Midgard, I will miss you. You truly make this Palace lively...and tolerable-" "And you said I wasn't your friend" she chuckled bumping his shoulder with hers "...But I don't want that... I want more than just your friendship. I really do like you (Name) (Last name)." he explained.
(Name) stared at him in disbelief 'did he really say those words?' She thought to herself thinking she had heard wrong, or perhaps she was sleep-deprived, she was in a daze trying to process his words "Pardon me, I dazed out... what?" she asked in pure shock. A frown was imminent on his face as he repeated himself. He was now facing her as he stared at her. The large window and the light of the moon shined through giving them a pale glow. (Name) blinked as he grabbed her hand with a cold hand. He was embarrassed to repeat his words; leaning in he used his free hand to softly grab the back of her neck bringing her in as he kissed her. The kiss was so soft and light, closing her eyes in bliss relaxing to his touch; once comfortable it left when he pulled back. She opened her eyes and watched him as she slowly leaned in for another kiss; it was soft yet an underlying feeling of hungry lust. She placed a delicate hand on his cheek as she kissed him, she could feel his hesitant hand reach her side as he leaned her back on the bed; their lips finding each other every time and moving as one. "Loki" she huffed pulling back "(Name) I want you in body, mind, and soul. You have to believe me" he spoke softly as he held her cheek "I know...But-" she mumbled, sitting up a little. "Not the answer I was looking for," he said in a joking way to hide the pain he felt. She saw how he pulled back to get off her as she sat up. She panicked a little and grabbed his hand. She cast her eyes down as she got nervous "Loki...I really do like you, but how can I believe you? We go through this so many times, one minute we are civil and the next we are at each other's throats. I live in Midgard... I don't compare to the true Asgardians here... I don't what nor will I be one of your playthings" (Name) said truthfully hating the idea of being played, by him, of all people. "(Name) you are like me in so many ways and I will wholeheartedly trust you, I may not talk to you much but...somehow when I'm upset you always make me smile, you know when I am bothered you, on rare occasions you stand up for me when clearly I am in the wrong." he chuckled softly as he kneeled in front of her holding her hands "And by gods and by the Alfather I love you, (Name); till the day I die, till my last breath, I will always love you." He spoke seriously
The clothes were off; (Name) was under him, her hair fanned out under her. Loki kissed her tenderly, his hand running down her thigh to hook it around his waist; feeling him grind on her softly had her aching for more. Trailing kisses down her neck to her chest, leaving marks now and then as he made sure to give her pure bliss. (Name) hooked her arm under his arm grabbing his shoulder while the other hand grabbed his hair. He slowly eased himself into her, the pain unbearable despite the fact he had prepared her before entering himself in her. Letting out a small noise of discomfort Loki slowed himself down for her sake to adjust to him. He whispered sweet words in her ear.  She would have thought that he would say dirty things, but he didn't. Perhaps for the first time together, he wanted to make sure she felt nothing but love, and maybe the next time he was willing to show and teach her a thing or two. His trusts were controlled and paced, but soon the young prince was growing needier to hear (Name) moans; aside from the erotic breathy gasps and soft moans he wanted her to say his name. He had lifted her hips slightly to change the angle, so he had a deeper penetration. The new feeling had caused (Name)'s eyes to shut and a somewhat loud moan came out from her. Her leg pulling him closer to her but her body was shaking "Are you okay?" He asked in worry as she hid her face in his shoulder "Sorry... I'm fine, Just do that again please" she begged quietly "Say my name" he growled in her ears giving a slow thrust "L-Loki!" she called in surprise. Smirking he did as told. She tightened around his shaft; he grunted from the sudden tightness but what drove him on edge a little were the moans she made when he would move in her. Grabbing one of her legs, throwing it over his shoulder as he was getting a deeper penetration making her go wild.
The constant motion of him moving in and out of her vaginal area caused her to arch her back as she grabbed his forearms. The sound of skin slapping together, their body covered in a coat of thin sweat from their passionate activity. The way he filled her up and the way he moved skillfully hitting each spot that caused her body to overdrive, she thought he couldn't get any better-Loki had moved a hand over to her clit and began to rub in a circular motion sending her in the shivering mess. 8,000 of her nerves began to tingle and boil in ecstasy from his skillful stimulation, he thrust in her in rhythmic movements but would vary from slow and hard to fast; giving her pure bliss. She had reached her limit giving out a loud moan that she knew she couldn't suppress, she called out his name; her back arched before lying exhausted on the bed. Loki too lets out a loud moan; grunting out 'fuck' following it with her name in bliss as he released himself in her. Finally, the two were done and exhausted. laying next to her; the two panting heavily. He turned to her laying form and embraced her in a protective hug, kissing her forehead tenderly, she soon fell into a deep peaceful slumber Loki following soon after.
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buffaloborgine · 4 years
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An over-review and (many) theories of FFVII compilation - Part V
Part I: The Timeline - https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/624717906149818368/an-over-review-and-many-theories-of-ffvii
Part II: The Fated Trio(s) - https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/624817710806827008/an-over-review-and-many-theories-of-ffvii
Part III: To be or not to be - https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/625180368648159232/an-over-review-and-many-theories-of-ffvii
Part IV: LOVELESS -https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/625631759219015681/an-over-review-and-many-theories-of-ffvii 
Part V: The Culprit 
Before I get on with this part, let’s all agree (again) on one thing: The timeline of FFVII Remake was a mess even before Cloud comes back to Midgard in the beginning of it, as I have explained in part I. 
[If you don’t agree with that, or haven’t read part I, then this part will have a lot of problems to argue, so just go read part I again, please] 
“The most useful form of time travel is to go back a year or two and rectify the mistake we made.” - Matt Lucas. 
Whoever decided to go back and wreck the timeline of FFVII must have their purpose and it is shown clearly in Remake: To change the flow of events and defy destiny. 
To Aerith, if she could stop Sephiroth from becoming the one who calls down the Meteor to destroy the Planet then she can change her own destiny. At the  end of the highway, it is Aerith, who actually shows sympathy to Sephiroth, saying “They.. Their words... They don’t reach him. All these moments and memories, precious and fleeting... they’re like rain rolling off his back. And when they are gone, he won’t cry... or shout... or anything.” Instead of trying to fix other things, Aerith knows that Sephiroth is the main cause and that if she can fix him, then everything will not happen the way they were supposed to. 
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To Sephiroth, if he can manipulate Cloud sooner than he did in the original timeline then Cloud and the team won’t be able to stop him from destroying Gaia, therefore he can reach his true aim, becoming God. We can see Sephiroth trying to reach out to Cloud very early in the game, just right after Cloud is back to Midgard, then the moment Cloud meets Aerith, etc; what Sephiroth does is emphasizing his influence on Cloud, telling Cloud that his purpose is to save the Planet, asking for Cloud’s help. By changing his method to approach Cloud, Sephiroth is trying to fix his “fault” so as to defy his destiny. 
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But then, let’s be honest, do you believe that the mess in FFVII Remake is caused by either Sephiroth or Aerith, or even both? 
We already know that Banora still exists on the map since Shinra didn’t bomb them because the poster of Banora White juice in Midgar. We also know that Tseng had his hair down before the time Before Crisis actually happened, thanks to the flashback cutscene of Elmyra. Also, the Wutai War is still going on. Therefore, if there is someone who actually messed up the timeline, that must be someone who knows about the events of Crisis Core and Before Crisis, and that can’t be neither Sephiroth nor Aerith.
So why I am so certain about that?
- First of all, Banora. There is no point for Sephiroth to actually try to prevent the bombing of Banora, he doesn’t even know about it, or if he does, he wouldn’t mind. It has been shown in Crisis Core that after that event, Sephiroth doesn’t even mention about it, he doesn’t care. It also is no problem to Aerith, she may know about Banora, but does she know about it being bombed? Aerith can sense when someone entered the Lifestream, but she doesn’t know exactly where they were; or she may get the knowledge about it after she entered the Lifestream, but even if she knows about it, does she needs to actually prevent it? No. 
- Secondly, Tseng. The best I could come up with the scenario for Tseng to let his hair down before the events of Before Crisis is that Veld was never a Turk which leads to Kalm never got bombed wrongly and Veld lives a normal life with his family (or maybe Kalm was still bombed and Veld died along his family in it, causing the whole Before Crisis event never happened). Sephiroth may know about those events in Before Crisis, but he never actually had any significant part in it, and he doesn’t care about the Turks so there is no point for him to fix this. Aerith knows about Tseng, and yes, she could want to fix Tseng’s destiny, so let give Aerith some possibilities here. 
- Finally, Wutai War. The fact that this war is still going makes it impossible for both Sephiroth and Aerith to get involved in this. Sephiroth was the hero of Wutai War and Aerith obviously wants peace, not war, both of them have no reason to let the war continue. 
Then, the question is, if neither of them is the culprit behind the mess in Remake, then who is? 
Well, the culprit must have all the connection to the three events above, also, must be someone who has already died in the original timeline so they are in the Lifestream and can manage to manipulate the Lifestream, or must be someone that is still alive after Dirge of Cerberus (the last point in the chronological line of the original timeline) and has a connection to the Lifestream so they can manipulate it for the time travel. By doing a quick short, we narrow down the list. 
- Vincent is alive after DoC but he seems fine with the result of DoC so he doesn’t need to travel backward for anything.
- Zack is tied to all of those events above but as the end of Remake, he is surprised that he is alive, so it means that he is no culprit. 
- Angeal could be the culprit, because he is the type of person that wants to fix things and save people, but exactly because of that, if he is the culprit, he would want to end the Wutai War. 
- And finally, Genesis. We see him still alive after DoC, he is closely tied with Banora, there is no proof that he needs to fix Tseng but we know that he does know a lot of things about the Turks (due to the way he talks to Tseng in the factory in CC), and as for the Wutai War, Genesis was jealous with Sephiroth about being the hero, so by keeping the war continue, Genesis could prevent their relationship from faltering apart. Also, he did say that he will come back, and I believe he will. 
In conclusion, I believe it is Genesis would be the most possible to be behind the timetravel;ing trainwreck in Remake, because he has the most reasons to do it. (Also the Stamp mascot, as it is shown in Remake that there are two different Stamp puppies in two timeline, it is obvious that the mascot is changed between different timelines. And besides, why a puppy? As we know Zack is referred as "Zack the puppy" by Angeal but from whom did we know about that? Angeal's mom, and then Genesis)
Thank you for reading, this is basically the last part of my theory, maybe there will be more, but for now, it ends here.  
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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years
Text
This is Hcs about a very old ask of Kurono's s/o being the sister of Overhaul and Hari having a crush on her. Sorry about the huge as fuck delay but writing for Chrono is still a issue for me, hope is not too bad.
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Ever since the moment he saw those two kids entering the Shie Hassaikai with the headmaster he knew he would be involved.
Kai and (Y/n) became really close... friends, as he would at least think, for him.
Kai, the older one, possessed the quirk overhaul, the power of unite and unite what he makes physical contact, depending if the thing is alive or not. He knew Chisaki was... different. Always with thhat stoic face and brute even when someone spoked bad about the Shie Hassaikai.
You on the other hand could only use your quirk on non living things and didn't had much skill with it, but your sweet and innocent aurea was what caught his attention.
"Good morning Hari-kun!"
....
Kurono.exe stopped working.
He is a mess.
Started to notice that he has a deadly crush on you when he reached his teenage years.
The poor man haven't confessed until then for two VERY important reasons.
1-You giggled at every time he gagged whener you called him by his first name.
2- YOU WERE RELATED WITH CHISAKI FUCKING KAI
God gave him mercy if Overhaul discovered that.
Welp... son of a bitch Mimic catched on pretty quick that Kurono was infatued with you, whenever you passed the room the man's neck almost cracked while accompaning your movements.
Irinaka laughed his ass off.
"ArROw HAiREd HaS GuTS FoR ThE BoSs'S SiSTeR Oh My FuCKinG Go-" in the middle of his laughter he received a punch and shutted up pretty quicly whe he heard the click of Chrono's gun.
Although, for his dismay, a third voice joined the chat.
"My sister Chronostasis?" Overhaul spoked nonchantly as Hari could feel a burning feeling on the back of his neck due to his childhood friend's glare.
Fuck. May he rest in peace.
Lets just say... he surprisingly didn't get killed.
Chisaki merely scoffed and went out, waving his hand off with a sarcastic 'good luck' leaving the man confused as heck.
"So you like me then Hari?" The man freaking shouted and accidentally shotted at the ceiling in surprise at heating your voice.
Both Chisakis apparently like to appear out of no where, for fucks sake.
This dude almost fainted when you admitted you liked him too.
Prepare for being called the 'obviously as fuck love birds of the Shie Hassaikai'
Pops won the bet with Kai and he is damn proud of Kurono.
Kai not much, dissapointment at you more than anything. But wont say a thing because is not his business.
Teaches you how to use a gun, wraps his arms around you as he rests his chin on your shoulder, his mych bigger hands covering yours as you hold his gun.
Prepare to run a lot as well from your older brother because he doesn't like neither of you getting distract with love dovey shit in the middle of business.
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erinsusername · 3 years
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Turn
Chapter 2 ~ Closer
Synopsis ~ Kallus takes Roan to a fancy party off world and their night takes a turn (pun intended) that they didn’t expect.
Word count ~ 6390
Rating ~ Explicit
AO3 link ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/30074598/chapters/75444167#workskin
It had been almost a week since the incident.
Agent Kallus had been called away a few short hours afterward on a mission involving rebel activity and hadn’t been able to check on the Lieutenant before he left, and for that, he had felt an unaccustomed and ceaseless sense of unease.
His feelings weren’t due to the woman being left there with her assailants free to attack again in his absence though. In actuality, he found it a real tragedy that the vessel carrying the three had suffered catastrophic damage en route to their hearings and that the planet they were forced to seek refuge on ended up harboring a small, secret hive for the Haxion Brood syndicate.
The pilot was left alive and sent back with a holovid as a graphic warning that Kallus, unfortunately, had only been able to hear about.
He was told that the Ensign that had put his hands on Roan was placed into an ironweave bag that was tied off at his neck. A jar of droaches was placed inside of the bag and the other two Ensigns were forced to take turns trying to break the heavy glass jar with too small of a stick. It took almost an hour before the insects were finally freed and feverishly burrowed their way through the soft flesh of the boy’s heinous entrapment. The other two were forced to watch as the droaches eventually began to make their way up through his throat and out of any hole in his skull they could find. Once he was dead, the remaining two were forced to fight to the death barehanded with the victor being fed to a pack of some sort of vicious canine species.
It was a gross misappropriation of resources and money well spent.
The lift that was carrying the Agent down to the droid lab felt like it was barely moving and it was making him uncharacteristically antsy. He could admit to himself that he was attracted to the Lieutenant though it was solely physical in nature. He didn't want to know her, he wanted to have her and, yet, for reasons that he couldn't explain, he was nervous seeing her again.
“Are you alright, sir?” the assistant that he had brought with him asked suddenly, rousing him from his deep thoughts.
“Yes,” he said slowly down his nose to the petite blonde at his side that simply went back to scrolling on her datapad.
You are an Agent of the Imperial Security Bureau, he reminded himself silently as he stretched and laced his fingers into a tight fist behind his back for the dozenth time. The lift doors eventually opened and released him from what he deemed an unmercifully eternal crawl, and the pair began down the long hallway toward the robotics department that sat at its very end.
Kallus felt like every step he took somehow mysteriously added another two as he walked down the narrow corridor that he could’ve sworn was much shorter the last time he was there. He blinked hard a few times to regain his composure, and as the two finally entered through the large, open doorway they found the front area empty. The blonde assistant absentmindedly stepped forward to ring the bell on the counter and Kallus glared down at her before he barked quietly, “you’re here to observe only, understood?”
“Yes, sir,” the girl responded before taking a few steps back and settling well behind him.
A few seconds later, a green astromech rolled out from behind a row of shelves and began to beep loudly before abruptly returning to wherever it came from. Shortly after Roan appeared, her sleeves rolled up high and coveralls covered in patches of dark grease. Her cap was long gone along with her regulation hair bun that was now just a long, messy braid that fell loosely over her shoulder.
As soon as she made eye contact with him she dropped the length of the large wrench she was carrying through her hand until she held it nimbly by its end, deliberately making it a formidable weapon before his eyes. She casually walked up to the counter, tossing it heavily onto a workstation, without stopping or breaking eye contact along the way before she stood in front of him silently staring him down harder than any other officer ever had.
He had never been so turned on in his life and had to shuffle his feet in a feeble attempt to release the sudden build-up of energy.
“I hope you are well,” he asked as confidently as his voice would allow.
Her hazel green eyes just stared back, slowly and mercilessly chipping away at his composure.
“I wanted to apologize in person for the ramifications of my actions last week. I’m sorry that it took me this long-“
“It’s fine. Anything else?” she asked tersely, her gaze never leaving his.
“I, I,” he stammered before he snapped his fingers behind him at the assistant who immediately placed a small device in his hand. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to buy an apology, but this is an invitation to a very exclusive off-world party being hosted by a prominent financier. I thought perhaps getting out of here for a night would be a start to showing you that I truly am sorry.”
“A date?” she asked dryly as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“No, an escape from this grease pit,” he retorted dryly.
The temperature in the work area raised a full Kelvin in a mere nanosecond as he instantly regretted his mistake. His whole body flushed hot and, although her expression didn’t change, he knew that she had noticed.
“I like my grease pit. Company is nice,” she said brusquely as she smirked smartly and nodded her head at the R3 unit that purred at her side.
“That’s not what I meant,” he replied delicately, the tactician in him carefully studying everything from the speed of her chest rising and falling with each breath to her subtle eye movements to her borderline hostile body language for any cue on how to proceed. He really didn’t want to upset her further, mostly because he wanted to get back on her good side so that she would go, but also because he now realized that she was a little bit terrifying when angry.
She was also incredibly hard to read, but he could tell, he thought at least, that she was thinking hard as her green eyes slowly scanned his face over. She sighed slightly before she reached out and took it. “I’ll see what I can do. I’m pretty busy though,” she said as she gestured at the empty work area behind her.
He cocked his head slightly and looked over her shoulder as she rolled her eyes and asked, “anything else, Agent?”
“No, Lieutenant,” he said simply as he straightened and turned on his heel.
They were safely in the lift again before he asked the assistant, “did you get what you needed?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied simply as she opened yet another tab on her datapad and began scrolling again.
The next night, there was a soft knock at her door and Roan reluctantly opened it to find the blonde assistant that had been with Agent Kallus the day before.
“Are you ready to go?” she asked, as she looked Roan up and down concernedly.
“Go where?”
“To the party,” the girl said slowly.
“Yeah, no. I’ve never been much for rubbing elbows with rich-,” Roan started.
“I highly recommend that you attend,” the girl interrupted with a look of serious concern on her face.
“And if I don’t,” Roan asked defiantly, crossing her arms and leaning against the door jam. The woman in front of her straightened, unnoticing that her perfectly tailored suit jacket lacked the one thing it needed to make Roan willingly leave her room, an officer’s plaque and the authority one came with.
Roan’s rank was more ceremonial than earned to some. Not that she hadn’t actually earned it, but it was given to her almost solely because much of the information she came into contact with when working with the hard drives in most of the droids was classified and no one wanted to transfer to compensate. Most people that knew this didn’t respect her for it, regardless of the fact that she had been a model employee with the Empire for over a decade, but the Agent’s assistant likely wasn’t one of them.
“He will come and get you himself and, trust me, neither of us wants that. Now, if you will, please follow me,” she said curtly.
 Fuck.
“I don’t even know what I need to, I’m not dressed for-,” she tried to contest to no avail.
“That has all been arranged. We need to go now as we are on a tight schedule,” the woman interjected as she turned and began down the hall.
Roan could only roll her eyes hard as she sighed and begrudgingly followed her.
Neither woman said a single word until they reached the empty docking platform. There was a solitary ship but not a crewmember, or actually a single person for that matter, in sight.
“Where is everyone,” Roan asked as she looked around apprehensively. The sun had only just begun to set which meant that there should have been at least a handful of ships and dozens of people preparing for shift change, but the hangar was completely empty.
“This is where I leave you,” the woman said flatly as she motioned up the open boarding ramp of a small sleek Imperial spaceship that obviously did not belong anywhere near Lothal.
Roan cut the woman a hard side eye as she slowly ascended up into the ship. The boarding door closed immediately behind her and a voice that was becoming all too familiar beaconed her from the front of the cruiser.
“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” Kallus said lowly as he walked into view.
“I wasn’t planning to,” she scoffed sarcastically.
“Well, I’m happy you changed your mind,” he said down to her as he slowly walked by. This was the first time she could really appreciate the height difference between the two of them. He had at least a foot on her. Easily.
“It was implied I had no choice.”
He stopped suddenly and moved to stand directly behind her, “you always have a choice,” he said.
The sudden warmth of his breath against the bare skin of her neck made every muscle in her body instantly tense and she knew that he noticed as he quietly continued his way around to the other side of her completing what felt like a predatory circle before he finally faced her again.
Neither said a word as they stared each other down in their twisted little competition for dominance. There was the quiet sound of stretching leather before a robotic voice from behind her suddenly interrupted the tension, “I’m ready for her, sir.”
Roan narrowed her eyes at the Agent before he finally broke contact. She let out a small, silent breath as he looked to acknowledge the droid, “alright, we should rendezvous with the yacht in about two hours.”
“Two hours,” the droid questioned hesitantly as it looked Roan up and down, “has she even showered today?”
“Watch it,” Kallus growled at the same time that Roan shrugged and admitted that she hadn’t.
“Easy, killer,” she laughed slightly, “I’m sure the droid is a pro,” she winked as she disappeared with the machine.
Roan was right. The droid was a miracle worker and it was putting the finishing touches on her hair as the ship dropped out of hyperspace.
Kallus waited for as long as he could before he knocked on the door to the makeshift boudoir to let her know that it was time to disembark. He fumbled angrily with straightening the asymmetrically cut jacket to the suit that he had chosen to wear as the door finally opened and Roan stepped out, arms crossed and face stern.
“No,” was all she said.
“What do you mean no,” he asked, already knowing the answer. It was written all over her face and radiating from her body language.
“I’m not wearing this. It’s too much,” her arms were still crossed but now her was head tilted to convey her total annoyance at the situation.
“Well, you’re out of luck. It’s all I had them bring,” he said proudly of his win-win scenario.
“Wrong, I have what I came in,” she immediately volleyed back putting her hands on her hips defiantly.
“Step on board like that and they will immediately jettison you from the closest airlock. This is an exclusive civilian party,” his pride in his win now openly showing on his face.
Roan sighed heavily before conceding with a quiet snark, “this is gonna be the longest night of my life, I can feel it.”
I hope it is, he thought as he furtively stared in wonder at the creature before him. The assistant had perfectly narrowed down a half dozen or so dress selections based solely on what she had seen of the Lieutenant during their brief encounter and Kallus spent longer than he cared to admit choosing from those.
And he had chosen well.
A full, satin, steel blue skirt that completely swallowed the entire bottom half of the woman was held tightly just above her trim mid-drift by a thick belt of the same color. The skirt was topped with a sheer, perfectly tailored jacket that had thousands of hand-embroidered gold beads and crystals in a pattern that formed several large, detailed circles that managed to cover just enough of only what it needed to and contrasted with her warm skin tone perfectly. Its oversized collar elongated her neck beautifully and the wide V-shaped neckline that came to a point where it met with the belt showed just enough of her chest to be risky but not tasteless. The droid opted for a classic hairstyle that sat elegantly twisted at the base of her head with light tendrils that hung loosely around her face.
Around her neck was a simple necklace of three small rings, each encircling the other two to form a sort of symmetrical knot. It was simple, but lovely and contrasted starkly with the opulence of the gown, as was its purpose.
He had fully intended for her to be stared at and lusted over, to be the one every single person not only noticed but wanted as their own but looking at her standing there he suddenly realized that he might have overplayed his hand.
“At least you can clean up well,” she mocked him, snapping him back to reality, as another droid came on the overhead intercom.
“We are docked and ready for you to depart the ship, sir.”
“Shall we,” Kallus asked before he led her through the entryway and onto the mega-yacht where he literally buzzed at the thought that his real fun was just beginning.
“Oh,” he said as he pulled gently on her arm bringing her closer to him as they moved, “Call me Alexsandr, not Commander, Agent, or Kallus. Civilian, remember.”
“How about I call an air taxi,” she sighed heavily as they stepped into a large, open ballroom type area that was flanked by two large staircases, each leading up to a large balcony type area that was filled with people ranging from members of the Imperial Admiralty to influential war profiteers to Galactic Senators to any and everything in between.
Her face twisted into a stressed expression, and Alexsandr suddenly realized that he might have put her in over her head a little bit more than he anticipated. He gently tapped Roan’s elbow to get her attention, “let’s get a drink.”
He held out his elbow and she hooked her arm through it as they began to make their way through the center of the room. Just as he had hoped, every head in the room turned toward the woman in the blue dress. Kallus, however, made eye contact with every man that he caught staring at her, and the power that came with their embarrassment coupled with the arousal of knowing she was his was insatiable.
The two stopped at a high top bar that ran parallel to the farthest wall and he watched Roan turn back and continue to look intently around the lavishly decorated room as he ordered their drinks. When she turned to face forward she let out a loud cry and instinctively stumbled backward.
He reached out and caught her before she tripped over her feet, “it’s okay. She’s alright, I don’t think she’s ever seen the decraniated in person before,” he smiled and reassured the people around them as he struggled to hold onto the visibly shaken woman.
“Just don’t look at her,” he whispered down into her ear as he faced her away and pulled her closer to his chest. He held onto her shoulders tightly as she tried desperately to regain her composure.
“What is that,” she barely whispered.
He sighed heavily, “she’s basically a lobotomized slave.”
Roan swallowed hard and he could tell she was trying to collect herself enough to ask her next question, “does she..does she know?”
“No,” he said quietly. That might not have been a lie. He had seen a report connecting people going missing on Jedha shortly before these things went on the slave market. He hadn’t thought twice about it, but seeing her reaction to it gave him an unfamiliar and uncomfortable pause. He let go of her to reach toward the bar and produced a small glass that she took and downed in one gulp.
“You might want to pace yourself. They don’t play around here,” he warned her sternly, but the look in her eye made him hand her the other drink, which she also downed just as quickly. She stood in silence for a few seconds with her eyes closed, breathing slowly.
“Will you be alright?” he asked as he turned back and handed her a tall, long stemmed glass. “It’s water, you should have some hors d’oeuvres too,” he suggested as he took her arm and led her away from the bar and the abomination behind it.
“I’ll be fine. I learned to keep my emotions in check a long time ago,” she said dryly.
The pair only made it a few steps before a loud voice yelled over the crowd, “Gods in the stars! Is that Alexsandr Kallus?”
Kallus turned just in time to be punched hard in the shoulder by a short, white haired man in his late fifties. “I haven’t seen you in ages, son. How have you been?”
“I’ve-,”
“Now, who is this?” the man interrupted him, taking a hold of Roan’s free hand and bringing it to his wrinkled face for a kiss, much to the dismay of the younger woman behind him.
“Roan this is Ala-,”
“Call me Boom,” he interrupted again and Alexsandr noticed that she couldn’t stifle a laugh from watching his face immediately twist up in annoyance.
“Always got a stick up his ass, this one,” he said behind his hand as he pointed his thumb back at the visibly irked Agent.
“You noticed that as well?” Roan joked and the old man laughed so hard that most of the room stopped to look. “I don’t know how he walks sometimes,” she leaned in and whispered loudly, much to the old man’s delight.
“Oh, Kallus,” the man wheezed, “I hate to do this, but may I speak with you in private. Don’t worry,” he said suddenly serious and pointing at Roan, “we are gonna continue this later.”
“I’m so looking forward to it,” she smirked up at Alexsandr before she turned and made her way through a parting sea of partygoers.
Thankfully, the conversation with Boom was short, sweet, and to the point and Alexsandr was back looking through the crowd for Roan in no time. He found her situated comfortably in a far corner with an Admiral, arms smuggler, and two senators laughing wildly at a story the smuggler was vividly acting out more than he was verbalizing.
He stopped and watched in somewhat awe that this lowly Lieutenant stationed on an outer rim hellhole, that spent all of her time with robots, could converse so easily, so casually, with some of the most powerful and intimidating people in the galaxy.  
He had studied her file the day they met. Roan Kalivoda was originally from Canto Bight; therefore, he assumed she would be used to, or at least aware of, how this type of society maintained itself. He was majestically wrong. She was an absolute savant.
The smuggler suddenly threw his glass against a wall and Kallus instinctually began to make his way over before the group erupted into raucous laughter, Roan tossed her head back and gingerly brushed her fingertips across the skin between her collarbones as she laughed.
The Admiral took the opportunity to put his hand deep on her lower back and the Agent felt a white-hot fury suddenly ignite exactly where he wanted it to, but his ‘date’ was a professional. She immediately and nonchalantly turned to face him, but when she did she took a very small step backward and put her arm on top of his, essentially using physics to remove his unwanted touch without him noticing. She downed the last of her water and used the empty glass as a reason to remove herself from the situation. Every single one of them looked genuinely dismayed as they watched her glide away and Kallus reveled in his joy, ignited by their disappointment, that he felt creep through him.
The Agent covertly walked over to a large sculpture by a buffet and watched her diligently as she nonchalantly walked over to another group, this one including an incredibly wealthy banker (the one throwing the party) and the powerful dignitary of a planet that the Empire had just taken over due to a newly discovered depository of a highly valuable resource. She casually ingratiated herself flawlessly and the two men were not at all subtle in their attempts to volley for her attention. Their overinflated and unrestrained arrogance, while humiliating for them, was an all-consuming aphrodisiac for him.
Kallus perked up when he noticed another dignitary walking toward her, this one being from a culture with a very distinct greeting and a heavy emphasis on respect. However, before he even finished the thought she had turned to face the man and meticulously performed the intricate greeting as if it were second nature, much to his delight.
Alexsandr felt an electric heat pulsing through him watching these men almost fall over themselves vying for her attention. In return, she smiled sweetly, occasionally played with his necklace lying around her neck, and ran her index finger ever so slowly up and down the still empty glass that she held with such unconscious seduction that the captain himself probably would’ve handed over the keys to the vessel had she simply asked.
Kallus suddenly realized that he needed to excuse himself.
*** Upon his return, he immediately found that Roan was standing alone, incredibly close to, and in very deep conversation with the banker, Cep Thurn. They met eyes and the man shot him a snobbish smirk before he made a show of returning his attention to his conversation with her. Kallus couldn’t help the animalistic sound that came from his throat before he marched across the room and shoved the man away from her.
“She is mine!” he growled before he turned and grabbed her by the arm, “and I’ll make sure every damn one of you knows it!” He pushed the woman backward towards a small table and pulled the tablecloth from its edge hard causing its contents to clamor to the floor. The noise instantly caused the entirety of the room to stop and look at them.
Once he knew he had everyone’s attention, he grabbed Roan by her hips and hoisted her up onto the edge of the table as she yelped in surprise.
He took a step forward so that his face was directly in front of hers, “just be a good girl for me,” he told her in a rough, deep whisper as he pulled up handfuls of the fabric of her skirt until the hemline was finally at her waist.
“Alexsandr!” she screamed as he reached both hands under her legs and ripped the lace panties she was wearing in half before throwing the two pieces to the floor.
He quickly grabbed her chin and held her face up to his, “what did I say,” he asked as he brushed his thumb across her lips.
“Alex,” she started quietly before he leaned down and turned his face so that it fit with hers.
“Say it,” he instructed her, so close to her mouth that he could smell her breath
“Be a good girl,” she exhaled as he nodded and slowly began to run his fingers down her neck.
He looked up to make sure that Cep was still looking when he came to the notch in her collarbones, the one that she had so innocently played with all night before he slowly crept down the smooth, blushing skin exposed by the gown’s plunging neckline. He could feel her muscles trembling under his fingertips as he moved down over her belt and underneath the satin bunched up in her lap.
He returned his gaze to hers as he flipped his wrist and slid one finger between her. He let his fingertip linger in her wetness before moving upwards at an achingly slow pace. She gasped and her eyes fluttered shut at his touch and he put his hand behind her head to keep her face touching his. Her ragged breath against mouth made him throb harder than he ever had in his life and he would’ve gladly killed anyone watching to get more of it.
“Do you like the way I touch you?” he asked, his eyes flickering around the room to make sure he still had complete command of it.
She nodded shakily.
“Say it,” he growled lowly as he began to make small, soft circles around her clitoris.
“I like it,” she whimpered quietly.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked moving only his eyes to stare down his measly competition as she answered.
“No.”
“Do you want me to take you in front of all of these people? To let them watch me absolutely brutalize you unrelentingly as you cry out for more and more,” he trailed off. He delicately dragged his nose across her cheek as he turned his head. “Say it,” he whispered in her ear.
Her breath caught before she finally whispered, “yes.”
“Good girl,” he whispered back reaching down and quickly unbuckling his pants that he let drop to the floor. He looked up again as he hooked his hands on the inside of each of her thighs and ripped them open causing her to let go of the edge of the table and fall back on her elbows.
He stepped forward, between her now wide opened legs and slid one arm around her waist, and used his other hand to guide himself to her opening before thrusting himself hard and deep into her.
She let out a loud cry as her head fell back and her fingers grasped at the surface of the table. He grabbed her hips tightly with both hands to anchor himself both mentally and physically as he pulled back and thrust hard again.
She was so tight that he almost lost himself before he even began and he glared up at Cep to keep himself centered as he began to move in and out of the woman that the man had dared to even look at. His face was more than enough to give Kallus what he needed as he returned his undivided attention back to Roan.
The force of him repeatedly plunging himself hard into her had caused her back to arch high and her chest to face up and out and a maniacal grin crossed his face as he let go of her hips long enough to reach up and rip the fabric of the gown’s top from where it was sewn into the belt leaving her breasts exposed to everyone in the room. She instantly looked up at him and he smiled as her bare skin flushed bright red.
The sight of her hardened nipples jerking back and forth made him grow even harder inside of her and he slowed his pace as he began to run his hands up her soft body. Her skin instantly prickled as his fingertips traced lightly across the skin of her belly and she clamped down hard around him when his hands cupped and grabbed her breasts, pinching her nipples between his middle and index fingers on both hands.
She left out a small cry and squeezed down around him so hard that he had to put his left arm back around her waist to keep himself inside of her. A low laugh escaped his throat as he took her right nipple between his fingertips hard causing her to moan loudly and wrap her legs around his waist.
He continued his assault with his fingers, alternating between pinching her nipple hard and massaging her breast until he felt her legs begin to quiver and her breathing suddenly become much more exasperated.
“Alex,” she whimpered as she leaned up closer to him, “gods..I’m,” she didn’t finish before the shaking turned into violent spasms and she suddenly threw herself backward screaming loud enough for the next system to hear.
He didn’t stop when she did though. He leaned over her and grabbed the edges of the table behind her shoulder and to her side before looking straight at Cep as he slammed himself hard into her again. His pace quickened and he was surprised that the small table had held up for so long.
Everything began to melt away: the entire party, his make-believe competition, the universe, even Roan. It all dwindled away to just himself and his desire when suddenly he was brought back to reality by the sound of someone behind him.
“Are you alright in there,” a monotonal voice asked again just as Kallus came hard into the urinal in front of him.
“I was!” he yelled back in frustration as he put one arm out to lean against the wall in front of him.
“Alright,” the barely human voice said before quiet footsteps let him know he was alone again. ***
Kallus quickly cleaned up and made his way back to the party. He scanned over the floor but Roan was nowhere to be found, so he then slowly made his way up one of the room’s ornate staircases, rescanning the floor for her as he ascended, but to no avail.
When he reached the balcony, he found her in a far corner talking intimately with Cep. His breath caught tight in his chest and he almost, for a split second, stormed over but managed to stop himself just as quickly. He took in a long inhale and instead hubristically walked over to the pair and casually interjected himself into their conversation.
“Alexsandr,” Roan began with a suspicious side-eye up at him, “this is Cep Thurn. We were just having a lovely conversation about the exquisite art collection onboard his beautiful ship,” she said with a shy smile.
“I don’t know if I would call it exquisite,” the man laughed with feigned modesty. “Maybe more of a well-curated investment that’s nice to look at. Though not nearly as nice as you, my dear.”
Roan blushed slightly and Kallus tried hard not to roll his eyes into the back of his head. “I hadn’t realized you were a collector. I’m assuming you keep your better pieces elsewhere,” he asked with a not so subtle hint of sarcasm.
Cep Thurn scoffed, “the painting behind you is worth more than the ship you flew here on.”
“I've always found boasting is typically the result of deep insecurity,” Kallus said mockingly as a man approached from their side and whispered something into Cep’s ear and Roan rubbed her left temple.
“Forgive my lack of decorum,” he retorted coolly to Kallus, “but I must step away. Perhaps I can show you my private collection when I return,” he offered to Roan as he bowed slightly and walked away with the man.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Kallus grabbed Roan by her arm and pulled her in front of him, “be careful around him.”
“Read the room, Alexsandr. No one here is really safe to be around,” she said sarcastically as she waved her hand out.
He gave her a long look that made her turn her head to the side in deep contemplation before she narrowed her eyes, “what exactly did you mean, then?”
He looked around before he leaned down and whispered into her ear, “he’s a mark.”
She stood perfectly still long enough to start making him nervous before she clasped her hands in front of her chin. “Let me get this straight,” she hissed. “You brought me on a fucking mission?”
“An easy one,” he tried to retort with humor much to her chagrin.
She glared at him with complete fury before he immediately back-peddled, “seriously, he’s harmless. It’s a simple plan. I’m just here to plant-“
“You didn’t tell me,” she whispered angrily as she pushed her finger hard into his chest. “What if something goes wrong?”
“You would be fine. Between Boom and I-.”
“Oh, the man I just met for four seconds? You sure do like playing hard and fast with my well-being,” she fired back.
“Look,” he said quietly as he gently pulled her toward a window in a corner, “he’s been tied to a rebel cell. Everyone on this ship is on the Empire’s payroll. You would be absolutely fine seeing how you’ve made friends with literally everyone here.” He looked down at her reassuringly but he could tell her mind was racing.
“Fine,” she conceded quietly as she shook her head and looked away. “But we are leaving as soon as you’ve done your job.”
Fuck. He was instantly annoyed. It really was a simple job, Boom had already done the hardest part and now he regretted even telling her and ruining his evening just as it was getting started.
“Let’s get a drink,” he offered with a little more frustration than he intended as he held his elbow out for her.
“I’ve had enough,” she said simply as she lightly took it and looked out across the crowd.
The two of them casually and inconspicuously moved around the room waiting for Cep to return. The alcohol had begun to take hold and conversations were suddenly far livelier. Some escalated into full debates, others into funny competitions, and one into an actual fight that was broken up quickly and mended with more alcohol. It was a perfect cover, no one would notice or remember much of anything in the morning.
The banker didn’t return for quite a while, but when he did, Kallus noticed that he immediately made his way across the room, straight to Roan.
“Forgive my delayed absence,” he told the woman as he held out his arm, “but, I believe I owe you an exclusive tour of an, exquisite, I believe it was, art collection.”
“I believe you are correct,” she replied with an obviously and hilariously faked core accent but a sincere smile as she took his arm.
Kallus had to fight the urge to punch him square in his cocky face as he pushed past him.
The two were about halfway through the room before she finally looked back at Alexsandr and gave him a small, subtle nod.
What was that about, he wondered as the two disappeared through the crowd.
He shook himself out of his thoughts before he turned his attention to finding Boom. A few laps around, in, and between the crowd yielded no result and Kallus suddenly had an uneasy feeling.  Hopefully, he had done his part well and was just holed up somewhere with the girl he had brought with him.
The Agent sighed hard and made his way out of the banquet room and into a long, narrow hallway that led to a service lift at its end. He had memorized the floor plan and schematics of the ridiculously large yacht beforehand and he knew exactly where the best places to quickly hide his listening devices would be.
He was at the elevator doors when they suddenly opened in front of him, and as two of the decraniated slaves stepped off he quickly rolled to his right and ducked down out of their field of vision. The two continued without incident and he quietly snuck onto the lift.
He dug into an interior jacket pocket to pull out one of the devices as he placed a small earpiece into his left ear. A sudden sound of static was followed by low murmurs and his heart immediately fell into his stomach.
The devices were gone, and one of the voices in the earpiece belonged to Roan.
He quickly pushed the emergency stop button on the lift and put his hand over his right ear to hear better, but he could only make out pieces of sentences and he assumed she was still holding onto all of them together.
“…a long time..” Cep’s voice said lowly followed by the sound of the mics rubbing together.
“I’m not-,” he heard Roan say clearly.
He couldn’t make out what Cel said next, but his tone had suddenly changed and the hairs on the back of Kallus’ neck immediately stood up.
“Cep, don’t-,” he heard Roan say as he quickly slammed the button for the highest floor, the private residence.
Stupid, you shouldn’t have let her go with him alone, he scolded himself. He honestly hadn’t considered the man a threat and, in so, had incorrectly assumed Roan’s safety by proxy of himself. It was the second time he had made that mistake and it was also the last.
The lift moved quickly and the doors opened up to a startled Cep and Roan standing at the far corner of a large, darkened room. The only supply of light came from individual fixtures that sat above each of five paintings hanging half of a meter from the next along a wall the two were facing.
“Alexsandr,” Roan asked, “what are you doing?”
“Get away from him,” he yelled sternly as he pulled out the small blaster that he had smuggled on board and pointed it directly at Cep’s head.
“What-,” she began before Cep grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest facing out toward Kallus.
“Stupid man,” he spit as he pulled out a small knife and put it to Roan’s throat, “what exactly was your plan here?”
“Let her go and I’ll kill you quickly,” he threatened darkly bringing his left hand up to the hilt of the weapon hoping to insinuate to the man his seriousness.
“Really? This area is being monitored. My men will be here any second,” Cep snarked confidently.
“Except that my man sliced into your pathetic little security system earlier. No one is seeing anything,” Kallus replied with a sarcastic shake of his head.
“I see,” Cep replied cautiously, his eyes flittering around the room. “Do you believe him,” he asked down into Roan’s ear as he made a show of tightening his grip on her.
“Yes,” she said simply without taking her eyes off of Alexsandr.
“Then, I believe we are at an impasse,” he sighed defeatedly. “Perhaps a deal? You put down the blaster and I give you the girl. You might make it off ship before my security team catches you, but that I cannot guarantee.”
Kallus looked him up and down before he replied, “put down the knife first.”
“Do you really think you have time for negotiations,” Cel asked pompously.
“Consider it an act of good faith then. This is between the two of us, not her,” Kallus said as calmly as his rising temper would allow.
“Alexsandr,” Roan said slowly and with a not so subtle hint of suggestion. “Just do what he says.”
She nodded her head toward him as if trying to convey something telepathically, never taking her eyes away from his. He hesitated for a long moment before he nodded and slowly lowered to the floor and put the blaster down before kicking it across the room into the dark. As he stood he put his hands in the air, “now let her go.”
Her expression remained stoic and her eyes locked on Kallus’ as the man leaned down and whispered something into her ear before he threw the knife across the floor.
“I’m a man of my word,” he said cynically as he pushed her forward. “Many sunrises, Ms. Kalivoda,” he called out as she stumbled away from him and he pulled a coms link from his pocket.
“Let’s go,” Kallus yelled as he reached out and grabbed Roan by the arm, and dragged her onto the lift. “There should be six on his security team. I’ve hailed our ship and it should be docked below,” he told her as the elevator dropped. He was in full Agent mentality and barely realized that she didn’t say anything in return, but before he could ask the doors opened and two large guards came running toward them from across the hangar.
“Stay behind me,” he ordered as he stepped out in front of her.
He met the first guard head-on as the second hesitated long enough to radio in for backup. The two moved in tandem, but neither was a match for Kallus’ size or training. The first went down relatively quickly and as he landed a hard right to the face of the second he heard a small squeal come from behind him. He turned in time to watch a third guard that had stepped off of the lift grab Roan from behind.
The woman instantly reached up and wrapped her arms around the man’s neck as she jumped as high as she could. When she came down, she went into a crouched position and used her downward force to pull the man over her shoulders, bringing a billowing blue cloud of satin with him. He landed flat on his back knocking the air out of his lungs and rendering him temporarily defenseless.
“Are you alright,” Kallus asked as he quickly stepped around the man writhing on the ground and pulled her toward him.
“Yes. We need to go before the other two get here,” she told him as the lift doors started to close but opened again before they met, only to try to close again.
Kallus looked over her shoulder to see a fourth guard lying halfway in and halfway out of the lift. “Did you-,” he started.
“Are we going now,” she asked abruptly as she stepped around him.
He cocked his head questioningly, but before he could try to ask again the man at his feet caught his breath and swept his leg around causing Kallus to fall hard to the ground. A sharp, intense pain shot up his arm as he landed and he let out a loud cry as his arm gave out and he rolled to his side.
The guard quickly pushed himself up and looked over at Roan as she turned toward the commotion. The man let out a low, chilling laugh as he menacingly shook his head and began toward her. Kallus instinctively reached out to grab him but yelped in excruciating pain as soon as he made contact, and when he pulled his hand back he found that he had dislocated both his ring and middle fingers in the fall.
His chest tightened hard when he looked back up and saw Roan backing away from the guard as he slowly and menacingly walked toward her.
“Stop,” she said quietly as she lifted out her left hand in front of her in a feeble attempt at creating a barrier between herself and her aggressor.
The guard said something that Kallus couldn’t quite make out and Roan’s expression changed.
“That’s unfortunate,” she replied as she pulled her right hand out from behind her and shot the man in the chest with a blaster that she had picked up from one of the other fallen guards.
Roan just stood and looked blankly at the body on the ground in front of her as Kallus scrambled to her side.
“Roan,” he said quietly as he gently took the weapon from her hand that was hanging limply by her side, her soft skin heavily contrasting the cold metal of the weapon. “We have to go.”
She nodded her head as he turned her around and led her through the gangway connecting the yacht to their ship.
“Get us out of here,” he yelled loudly as they entered and he hit the button to disconnect and sat her down.
The ship jerked loose and a few seconds later a familiar push against gravity let Kallus know that they were safely in hyperspace.
She just sat quietly and unnervingly tense and he watched her stare into space as she absentmindedly picked at her cuticles for what felt like an eternity before he finally spoke up.
“What can I do?”
She blinked a few times before she looked at him confusedly, “what?”
“You’re having a trauma response. What can I do to help,” he asked as he gently reached over to stop her fingers from tearing at their own skin.
She flinched hard when he touched her and he immediately pulled back. He somehow felt as if her hard green eyes pierced right through his very being when she looked up at him, “I’ll be fine,” she whispered almost sadly.
The complete antithesis of the woman that had just previously floated effortlessly through one of the most intimidating crowds Kallus had ever seen now sat quietly in front of him and her stark transformation was completely his fault. His guilt began to manifest physically in his chest as he struggled to find the words, any words, to begin to reconcile. Assuming it was even possible at this point.
“Roan,” he began before her brow suddenly furrowed.
“Your hand,” she said as she stood up and moved to the seat to his left.
“Don’t deflect,” he said seriously as she sat down.
She completely ignored his words. “This is a little more pressing,” she told him as she delicately picked up his hand and looked at his two mangled fingers. She shook her head as studied his injury, “I need reset them quickly. One of the nail beds is beginning to turn blue.”
“Have you done this before,” he asked cautiously.
“Unfortunately,’ was all she said as she looked up at him.
Suddenly, and without breaking eye contact, she pulled out hard on his ring finger as she quickly pushed her thumb upwards against the dislodged bone forcing it back into place.
He let out a loud startled cry and instinctively pulled his hand away but before he could protest she reached over and yanked it back.
“Breathe in,” was the only warning she gave before she repeated the process on his ring finger.
“Fuck,” he breathed heavily as she meticulously ran her fingers gently over the length of each of his inspecting her work. Her warm skin against his was soothing and the thrill of her touch was a strong and addictive analgesic.
She sat his hand back in his lap and stood. “I’ll be right back,” is all she said before she disappeared into the front of the ship.
He watched her glide away as he tried his hardest to will the feeling of her soft skin against his to stay with him longer.
She returned a few minutes later with the ship’s first aid kit and swiftly set both fingers in a simple splint before she popped a cold pack and placed it on top of his hand. “You should have them looked at when we return,” she informed him as she dug around in the kit.
“I will. Thank you,” he told her sincerely as she pulled out and opened a packet containing two small pills.
She dropped them to the floor and made a gesture of smashing them with her heel as she stood and walked away.
 I deserve that.
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