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my-love-is-sunlight · 7 hours

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Ok now I need the strawhats meeting with laws Mexican s/o plz🙏🙏🙇‍♀️

your mind anon!!! absolutely

Law + mexican s/o meeting the strawhats

Masterlist

Pt.1

You finally had the opportunity to properly meet the strawhats until after the events in Wano, during a huge celebration for their victory

At the beginning of the alliance Law had asked you to keep your relationship a secret as to not put you in danger or give information that could hurt him away to other pirates

Eventually you broke and made it a little obvious that both of you were together and honestly he didn’t mind it that much anymore, of course Luffy wasn’t gonna be able to shut his mouth about it but after all, he had warmed up to the strawhats even if he wouldn’t admit it

Honestly they’re just surprised anyone would date Law, they know him as this brooding grumpy methodic of a Captain

They are asking a million questions about you and how did you guys got together making a fuss out of it

“How did you and Traffy met?”- you arch an eyebrow “Traffy?”

You are not letting the new nickname die and Law is absolutely livid, every time it leaves your lips he rolls his eyes to the back of his head

The first one to ask about your history was Robin after she picked up on your accent and antics. She was so amazed by you and wanted to know everything about where you came from

Suddenly everyone wants to learn spanish

“How do you say my name?” -“How do you say this in spanish?” -“Can you teach me some curses?”

Zoro and Sanji individually ask you for phrases to say that the other wouldn’t understand and piss each other off; you tell them the same ones and screw their little plan

When Sanji hears Law talk about your amazing cooking he is asking you for a million recipes, spices and just overall tips and techniques, notebook in hand

“Keep your hands to yourself you stupid cook” he grumbles as he sees Sanji swoon all over you

I hc Luffy as mexican (thank you Iñaky) so I see you and him bonding on that, having full conversations in spanish that Law can’t keep up with so he’s pouting in a corner not understand a thing

Nobody knew Luffy was mexican and they’re so taken aback “Nobody asked me” he says laughing

You talk about stuff you grew up with and things you miss having around now that you live on the sea

You end up being Luffy’s favorite heart pirate out of this alone and he makes you feel like home which is something both of you appreciate

No one is leaving the party until you make tamales for everyone

“Sanji you better learn to make some tamales” Luffy exclaims with his mouth full

You tell Usopp there are tamales made out of deer meat and he uses that information to scare Chopper

He’s traumatized

Nami asks you about your outfit and you tell her about the history of it and how it’s made and she even offers you some berry if you get her a set (which shocks everyone, Nami paying for stuff? Crazy)

Brook is 100% learning how to play some of your favorite songs, everyone is out of their seat vibing to some cumbias and Luffy eating that shit up

Everyone is all over you and Law is not having it, this should be quality time for both of you; he doesn’t want to share you, but seeing you having so much fun smiling and laughing with everyone while you sit by his side the whole night makes his heart full, he’d get you for himself later

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sleepless-crows · 14 days

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#i feel like im failing at being a human being #my friends make me feel awful and then i try to justify what they say and my justifications make me feel awful #and then i try to defend myself and after that i feel awful #and what if i cant get good friends because im not a good person myself either #i only have one true friend and i feel like i become such a big burden to her #and nobody wants to understand me and i feel so alone #i feel so lost and so lonely and they downplay that and they make fun of me when i say that i cry #they never take me seriously and sometimes i feel like im only there for them to laugh at and be entertained of #they make me feel awful for working hard and doing my best #they always paint themselves as superior and i dont even think they realize that #and im not falling for it but sometimes i feel like being friends with them makes me feel more awful than not having friends at all #and i dont know whats so wrong with me that they treat me this way and that im friends with them #why are people so hard #what if theyre a reflection of me #i jist feel so awful

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skunkes · 6 days

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having nephews is crazy im witnessing situations between them and their parents/family that humiliated me and shamed me when i was a child, in real time. Its so embarrassing to be a younger sibling. And have feelings. Its insane to exist under the eyes of adults. I will never relate to people who miss childhood...! I barely even have any more freedom than I did back then and I wouldn't go back.

#talkys #theres lots of crying going on rn and i understand his feelings but everyone else is being annoyed by #both his feelings and the crying and his older brother is saying he hates him etc and oh my god❗#i remember being him and being so embarrassed. that i feel things and nobody is listening to me and im crying #and everyone is telling me to calm down and stop crying bc its not serious and now everyone is annoyed with me #its crazy. so humiliating to be alive. i want to live alone so bad i dont want to be witnessed anymore

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em0-opossum · 11 months

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sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are

#I'm lucky enough to have two good friends right now who i love very much #but that doesn't mean that they understand how i feel or how i have felt #and knowing you're alone in that overbearing loneliness just alienates you more and further perpetuates the feeling #i still miss out on so many opportunities to be friends with people i genuinely want to be friends with so bad because i can't talk to them #i still get so paranoid sometimes and stop replying to anyone because I'm convinced they hate me and there's something wrong with me #sometimes to the point where i avoid teachers who i need to talk to because i am sure that everything i say will be wrong #even someone being nice can feel awful because i think that they just feel bad or are pretending and actually trying to make fun of me #i know nobody actually knows who i am or how i feel because i hide everything to fit in with people and what they need/want #i have never felt like i belong anywhere and trying to explain that to people is so hard #there are times i love being alone but knowing that I've missed out on every regular human experience is so isolating #i just want to be normal and have friends i love and hang out with and talk to and not feel like every word i say could be the end of me #and when i try to find anybody who relates all i get is “oh im alone again :(( being single is awful”#i really do empathize with those people but it is nothing like my experience of loneliness #(tags are just for finding people who relate)#social anxiety #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actuallyavpd #loneliness #chronic loneliness

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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being in pain is so isolating nd alienating lol >.<

#bc the thing is nobody cares abt your pain. like that's simply human psychology #so even if that's how the human mind is built nd it's understandable. it still sucks to receive so little sympathy nd understanding #like i mean ppl get sick nd tired of u when u talk abt the pain nd just want u to stop complaining nd be positive #nd they're rlly unsympathetic nd just want u to shut up nd do the things you're supposed to do without whining #so yes idk having to shut up abt it makes me feel like im stuck all alone inside this miserable bubble #either way im getting better nd better at not talking abt it!!!!! even on here i dont say like 80% of what i wanna vent abt sksksks #ppl always treat me as if im exaggarating or just anxious nd worried nd that i need to relax nd that everythings fine #so i've gotten way better at keeping it inside nd not bothering anyone w it!!! thats good #i mean it hurts nd makes me feel isolated buuut it's better than being a burden nd a bother nd making ppl roll their eyes nd sigh at me #but it's also so hard for me to seek medical attention for anything bc i feel like im just being dramatic nd annoying #idk... anyway so many things i wanna complain abt rn pain wise but im doing so good at shutting up abt them i need a gold star ⭐️#hand in hand w this im getting better at just shutting up nd doing what ppl want me to do nd think im supposed to do even if im in pain

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 6 months

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How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.

#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter #it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in #and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be #I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been #it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed #if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith

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spotsupstuff · 10 months

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i ADORE yoyr skills in making characters with wildly complex personalities. how do you do it this well

THANK YOU!!! I HAVE NO FECKIN IDEA!!!

i usually just start with a concept (heehoo iterator who doesn't care for their puppet and the puppet has a blankie thrown over it and there's creepy peepy teefs under there) and then built off from that (the character now leads death itself to its family no matter how much it hurts and tears away at it because it recognizes this is ultimately the best thing that can happen to them and it Only wishes for the best for its family cuz it loves them a lot. no matter what it will take, its family will be alright.)- OH a VERY important thing for character making is interconnecting them with other characters!!! that is literally the Most important thing Ever imo. and then details. details are what build the complexity!

the more interactions with other characters and the world you put the peepo thru, the more shaped they will be, i suppose? while still keeping a core idea very clear

also taking inspirations from other characters and then remixing n combining these different inspirations is a valid thing to do. one of Notos' big inspirations is, for example, Wednesday Addams from that netflix show! sometimes the inspiration comes from a certain pack of feelings i get from a song/situation, like for example Zephyr and Johanka by Brotosauři/Joan of Arc in general. Johanka and where i first heard it, the way i first sung it, was already full of so many things that simply applying it to Zephyr gave her a complex personality

and as always -claps- don't forget to give your character low points and weaknesses. but ALSO don't forget to give them their shining moments and strengths

#Spot says stuff #i legit dont know how to explain my process- a lot of it legit comes from the feelings songs can make one feel #when i first sang Johanka....... it was also when i first heard it. my dad was playing it going for a solo cuz nobody else really knew the-#-song then. his voice carried a mix of softness and a fight. he sung the chorus once and on the second one i joined; feeling inspired by-#-the fight of it. the revolution the determination the... melancholic agony of Joans unjustly death #then i read her wikipage. n i read- at the end there when shes about to be burned she asked for a cross. she was accused of *so* much.#of being the messanger of the devil. of being so vile- and shes surrounded by these people that are supposed to think of her like that.#why ever would someone grant her last wish? give her a cross? let her love the God and angels that she says guided her?#a soldier took two sticks and tied them. he gave the makeshift cross to her. she smiled and gave it a kiss and hugged it close to her chest #just before being *burned alive* shes given such.. humane kindness from someone who should be her *enemy*#its so tiny. so small so remshackle so broken. its so little the eyes of royals but oh the world that it means to someone who Understands-#-the love it took to do something like that. such a little gesture... made out of humane kidness. so she doesnt have to be alone.#the Feelings of that. that means so much to me as a person and i want to put that into Zephyr out of love and appreciation

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cetoddle · 8 months

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like i just don't get it

#everyone has someone except for me #everyone has a loving partner or at least one close friend if not a whole group #someone who actually wants to fucking talk to them. spend time with them. someone who cares. makes an effort #i don't understand what's wrong with me #even if people are nice to me or at least not explicitly rude #it seems like no one wants to form a deeper connection with me and i just. don't know what i'm doing wrong #i've tried being normal i've tried embracing being weird #nothing ever works. there's no one for me. i don't get it #i've been trying so so hard for so long to be brave and put myself out there and try #and just. i'm still alone #i have nobody and i'm starting to realize i never will. i have no goals for the future. i have nothing #what's the point anymore ....#talking to the wall rn. i know no one cares. if anything i just bum everyone here out and annoy them #i have no one online i have no one irl. i just have fucking nobody and i'm tired and i'm scared and don't understand what i'm doing wrong #i want to go take a shower. slice myself up with a razor and watch blood swirl down the drain just to feel something else rn #there's literally no hope for me #i don't want to keep doing everything alone. i'm not strong enough to keep going like this. i'd rather just die #snow.txt

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morbid-bvnny · 11 months

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#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read #I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress #it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most #when I have literally no one to turn to #my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart #I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse #no matter what I try to do to make it better #I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible #but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad #im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end #im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in #on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for #you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling #this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly #I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone #I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me #I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow #I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice #or care for that matter #I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back #rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it #I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion #the world keeps moving #people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it #and they will move on as if nothing happened #the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here #I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point

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beast-feast · 2 years

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What if I deactivated

#feeling sick because it feels like I did something wrong again and I don't know what it is so I'm grasping at straws #don't know if talking or leaving people alone is the better option here I wanna leave this house I don't feel safe #I don't feel safe saying anything here or anywhere else I don't feel safe in my HOUSE #have to worry about people looking through my windows and having shots fired into my room and someone breaking in because I have two doors #I want out i want to sleep I wish I could say something or disappear and reappear where nobody knows me #be pronounced dead but someone who looks like me shows up in Chattanooga. I want to be nobody I want to be a stranger PLEASE #I don't ever fucking know if leaving people be or not is the right choice BECAUSE I DON'T HELP I NEVER FUCKING.#I never help I am never useful or good enough for people don't you fucking understand why I want to do what I'm doing #trying to hurt myself and poison myself so FINALLY people don't have to deal with me because I'll be too sick to speak #being forced to do things and feeling like I HAVE to exist when all I feel is fear and have delusions and hallucinations #and fucking psychotic symptoms. I can't even go back to the ward because they didn't DO anything #I can never say JACK FUCKING SHIT. EVER.#if I say nothing then suddenly one day you hear about the time I relapsed or when I purposefully eat expired things to get myself sick #but if I DO say something then suddenly it feels like everyone feels obligated to say something and it makes me feel horrible and terrible #and like a bad person I can't I can't I can't I can't #...I guess at least. I have therapy tomorrow. I'm sorry if I'm hospitalized again. I'm so sorry.#not art #vent #tw selfharm #// selfharm #tw ???

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woodnrust · 2 years

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*rocking in the corner of the room* i am comfortable in my identity people respect my identity i am wanted i fit in with others who share my identity i am not an outcast nor am i an anomaly

#jelly.txt #i'm doing BAD. i hate being mixed so much man #this wouldn't be nearly as bad if parents would've actually raised me but here we are!!!! i hate this this sucks i want to be adopted but #i hate the adoption terms. you take one look at me and you automatically know i'm hispanic but there's nobody else like me in this family #everybody in this family is white!! and at family gatherings before they have made it abundantly clear they don't want me there!!#but i have nowhere else to go!! i have no family who will ever understand me!! and this family said they'll only adopt me #IF i change my last name to theirs. and i said no so they're being stubborn and said they won't adopt me until i agree #and it's stressing me out because i don't wanna give up my last name. these are the last ties i have to my heritage #and they told me that's exactly why they want me to change my last name cause they want me to not have ties to my heritage #not only that but i also found out the reason why my records are so wonky and have different race/ethnicities on each file #for me is because my mom was ashamed of it and so she purposefully put in the wrong information for me at first #so now that's got me thinking about. if i had to fill out a forum for myself what would i put #because technically i'm mixed but i've been shunned from the white ppl of my family and i feel pride in being salvadoran #but at the same time when it comes to my identity as being salvadoran it's just me myself and i.#my family didn't even want to throw me a quince. because i'm the only hispanic person in the family so they saw no point #i just feel like theres so so many cultural experiences i've missed out on cause i'm all alone here. to the point where it's like #do i even have the right to identify as salvadoran? when documents ask for my race who will i be betraying with my answer.#because. i feel like the identity that fits me most on an entirely racial level would be indigenous salvadoran. it feels good to me #i've never liked the labels hispanic or latino because of the colonial aspect of it. but then there's the dilemma i talked about earlier #about not really fitting in anywhere. cause it's like. if i identify as this i'll be totally dismissing my white family members #but at the same time there's been very few of them that have showed me kindness. and none who haven't been insensitive to my heritage #so should i really feel bad about that? but at the same time... would other people agree with me? would other ppl be fine with me #identifying as indigenous salvadoran even though i've been abandoned by my family so never learned the culture authentically...?#sorry. this is long and i'm repeating myself but i'm just. so tired. so so tired. of everything.

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starpros-sunshine · 1 month

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I exist in this weird personality limbo where i somehow have so little sense of an individual self that that over time warped into. whatever this is. I have something going on here i'm sure but I am 99% sure that it's either indescribable or just very difficult to define beyond "Nice with an interesting sense of humour"

#talked to someone today and all I could think about after was how off that felt #the whole experience I mean #not the person I like the person #I was meant to sit alone in a room and do my own thing honestly that's what life keeps signaling to me #but I like being with people is the issue I enjoy being out and about it's a change of something it feels like the normal thing to do #i mean what normal teens get up to and all that it doesn't feel very normal to me but you understand #I enjoy doing stuff i can talk about afterwards is all I mean #but at the same time it's very...like...I know if I behaved off protocol right now you would not enjoy me #I have nothing of relevance to say I have a lot of half-knowledge nobody can actually do anything with #I'm a little dull but it works for me so i don't mind #but on protocol is literally just basic curtesy rules and polite behaviour thats. well. nice.#people say they enjoy talking to me but I dont think a lot of them really do i think they just think I'm pleasant company because I'm polit #and don't really have a set opinion #but again it works for me #I do wonder sometimes if people can sense that #that I'm not all there I mean #i wouldn't want to seem like I don't care I do kind of I don't like the thought of getting very attached to people but it's nice #to have something like friends I mean #or rather people you get along with very well #It's just a bit of a strange experience is all #boy I'm going way out of my comfort zone here with the introspection sebastian sir since when were we so willing to self reflect #that sounds wrong it's not like i have a problem with that #ahhh I need to do my art thing....#sigh the deadline is tomorrow and I am not done yet it's 11pm and -i have to get out early tomorrow #I just want to sleep #and then sleep in. let me have my twelve hours of cozy in bed time :/

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teaboot · 25 days

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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

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shithivemaggot · 4 months

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hhfbb

#my friends at college are great in small amounts but i wish i could handle being with them more #its so overwhelming having to tell katherine how im doing every day. stop checking up on me i dont know how to be honest with you #i dont want to tell you how im doing and i hate having to lie and say im good i just want you to stop asking and leave me alone #i cant handle your professionalism you text me like a therapist would message their patient. leave me alone #i cant fucking do it man #i cant ever keep friendships because i get scared when people show interest in my life and want the best for me #and at the same time i dont want to feel like the friend that you check up on because you have to #i dont know this doesnt make sense #katherine cares too much vyn cares too little greg is the healthy in between but he graduates in a year so whatever #i need more queer friends who understand me #how am i supposed to vent about things that affect me to a cis person who doesnt understand the concept of being a trans person #i dont want to be cared about i want to be understood and nobody fucking gets it #i hate meeting new people i hate making friends i hate change i just want to stay in my bubble and learn about atmospheric stability #i hate being a human that needs emotional connection to survive #i wish i could be alone

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sensitivegoblin · 6 months

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