Every once awhile the reality of just how fucking bad it was for Ghost hits me and I’m overcome by intense grief.

He never deserved any of it.

sleep refused to find him easily that night. simon stares up at the ceiling, watching the ceiling fan spin quickly. he knows he’s home, the comfortable bed a clear reminder, yet his anxiety is high, like something’s wrong. he thinks back through the night, retracing his steps of making sure each door and window is locked. he knows his gun is next to him on the nightstand, and it’s completely silent throughout the apartment. nothing out of the ordinary, just unable to leave his survival mode.

the sheets rustle beside him as you turn to face him. your eyes are closed, breathing light and looking so calm. he loves the way your eyebrow twitches in your sleep, your nose scrunching from something in your dream land. he takes a deep breath, laying on his side to face you, deciding to watch you sleep.

he rubs his hand up and along your arm, cupping your cheek and softly caressing the skin. simon wishes he could sleep the way you do, occasionally waking up with an interesting dream to tell him about. he feels frustrated, exhausted and just wanting to recharge, but it’s so hard for him.

you stir awake suddenly, eyes refusing to fully open but able to tell he’s off. “you okay, si?” you sleepily whisper, reaching out for him so cutely. you’re so soft in this moment, he feels himself falling even deeper.

“m’okay love, just cant sleep.”

“lemme hold you,” you offer, scooting closer to the middle of the bed to prepare for a spooning position but he laughs at you. “hold me?”

grumbling, you push on his shoulder to signal for him to face the other way so you can come behind him. he obliges, facing away and lifting his head from the pillow so you can rest your arm under his neck. his body is huge, you’re barely able to spoon him but you scoot closer, pressing your chest against his back. you can feel his heart pounding, chest rising as he takes a deep breath to calm himself. this is so foreign to him, not used to such tender care.

it takes a little, but simon feels his eyes growing heavy, catching up to you who fell asleep near seconds after getting close. your tiny body against his back makes him feel surprisingly calm and safe. eventually his brain relents, allowing him to sleep for a few more hours until the sun starts to peek over the horizon.

i really think having an emotional connection is so important to bakugou sexually.

like, i think he has to be in the exact right mood in order to get off by himself at home alone. can't be too tired, can't be too stressed out, can't have too much on his mind regarding work or other things, and even if it's been a while and his body is sensitive and wanting for it—if his head is not right, he can sit there for hours and never reach his peak.

which is why i think ultimately he doesn't do it that often, because it pisses him off to waste the time and not find the release. makes him more agitated. i think porn for the most part doesn't help him because he's too picky, literature probably helps a bit more, but he's still picky, and his imagination can get him there, but his headspace has to be right.

i think he's slow to hands-on stuff, when your relationship starts, and you can tell he's going to be like that pretty quickly. he responds to your touch like it's an accident; you reach out to hold his hand and he pulls his back like your knuckles have knocked by chance, like you're too close. it's not meant to be a rejection of any kind, it's just—he doesn't want you to touch him if you don't want to. if you don't mean to.

but when he realizes that you mean to, that you want to—

it has him skyrocketing. surprises him terribly, the affect you have on his body, and how quickly, because not even he can always have that affect on his own body.

you reach up to push some hair out of his face and your fingers skirt his cheekbone and he feels like a stupid gross disgusting puddle of mush. you loop your arm through his and lean into him while you're walking and he feels like a prize, like he's yours and you're his and you want everybody to know and that gives him a rush of pride that makes his head woozy.

he's dropping you off at home after date number he-doesn't-know and you're staring up at him outside your front door and he knows he should kiss you so he does and his whole body lights up with a heat he doesn't recognize at all. just from that.

and then he finally gets it: that heart-aching, stomach turning, body shaking want he's only ever heard about, and now finally feels.

actually I also wanna talk about the part where Percy convinces Bob to kill Hyperion because even though Percy never says anything outright sinister, the way he handles the entire situation with such cool ease, playing on Bob’s emotions... its so insane???

Because Annabeth’s reaction to the three of them encountering Hyperion reforming is: “oh this is bad we need to get out of here” She knows if Bob remembers himself, that it's not going to play out well for Percy and her. She also thinks about how they're being pursued and don't have a lot of time. Her solution to the problem, seemingly, is to leave.

But Percy's solution is to work the situation to his advantage. He re-affirms Bob's loyalty to him:

Percy then re-establishes Bob's moral code: "Some monsters are good. Some are bad. This Titan is bad. He tried to kill me and a lot of people. He's not good like you are."

And it ends with Percy leaving the choice of whatever to do with Hyperion to Bob but of course, is it really what Bob chose to do? Bob decides to kill Hyperion. It's not what he may have done, if Percy hadn't intervened. But it's exactly what Percy was oh-so-sweetly leading Bob to do.

And listen, I'm not claiming that it was exactly morally bankrupt of Percy to take advantage of a once-evil titan who could get him and his girlfriend through hell in one piece. Percy, Annabeth, they manipulate monsters and enemies all the time. Annabeth ended the previous book with manipulating Arachne into weaving her own web. So it's not exactly like she's against using manipulative tactics, in theory.

But Bob, at this point, is not just some monster. He is so painfully sincere in his belief in Percy and their friendship, so yes, it does feel a bit sinister whenever Percy uses Bob... and he really uses Bob.

And I think what makes the scene so unsettling, it isn't just that Percy manipulated Bob, its how well Percy manipulated him. He manipulates Bob so well that Percy doesn't even have to kill Hyperion... because Bob does it for him. He manipulates Bob so well, that Annabeth couldn't tell if Percy was purposefully trying to manipulate the situation. (Newsflash, he most definitely was). Like holy shit.

I am endlessly entertained by the prospect of MBJ just having literally no clue how human physiology works, and thus believing everything he hears (which, paired with SQH's propensity for saying dumb shit without thinking, is a recipe for disaster)

like:

SQH: ugh if I read any more expense reports my eyeballs will fall out of my head

MBJ: *frantically gathering as many expense reports as he can carry before shoving them into the fire*

SQH: *literally watching all his work burn up in flames* i-

MBJ: please hold in your eyeballs

______

SQH, offhandedly: lmao wei qingwei ate so many bao buns at the festival that I honestly think he's going to turn into one

MBJ, absolutely horrified, actually gives his condolences to the (very confused) human man because this affliction which will soon take his humanity is a fate worse than death. Also he starts hiding SQH's melon seeds

_____

SQH: ugh I'm so stressed out i'm gonna EXPLODE

MBJ: NO-

Yes YES OH man Shang Qinghua definitely has no filter when complaining about stuff, Poor Mobei he's learning so many awful things about humans and how MUCH DANGER THEYRE IN (how much danger his favorite human is in)

He tries to learn more about what can happen to his poor human so he's spying on Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghuas meetings only to hear them BOTH dramatically explain how tired they are, Shen Qingqiu with some peak lord duties juggled with Binghe and Shang Qinghua with just the amount of paper work and how they both won't make it if things don't slow down soon which prompts Mobei to immediately tell Luo Binghe that his consort is going to DIE if he doesn't get rest immediately this second

I can see this getting SO out of hand so fast, He'd bury Shang Qinghua in blankets and hold him tight so absolutely nothing can bother him and he'd be safe

Poor wally. Genuinely he's taking sleeping pills to sleep no wonder he's so drowsy all the time, HES HAVING TERRORS™️ and literally can't sleep!

He's in a constant state of EEPY!

I can only imagine he conks out sometimes when he's doing his thing during the day or the disassociating is a cause for it...

Although imagine he's just having a day with his neighbors and he just plops his head on the table and sleeps for a bit.

He was walking home and trips, falls....then stays on the ground...he fell asleep half way down.

husk can’t cook for shit but he makes drinks like no one’s business. obviously this is part of the course for a bartender, of course he knows how to make drinks, but you can only make so many martinis and old fashioneds before it starts feeling old and boring and monotonous- so husk gets experimental with his cocktails, just for fun, and uses angel as a test dummy. some drinks are hits, some are misses, some are almost there and just need tweaking, and angel is more than happy to provide feedback

and angel, who is an amazing cook, does the same with husk. he does a lot of traditional italian meals, but again, you can only have the same eight pasta dishes so many times before it just gets bland and frustrating. so angel tries new recipes and tries to come up with his own spins on stuff, and even branches out into other cultural dishes. he doesn’t have a lot of time outside of work, but as he starts clubbing less and less, he starts cooking more and more- and he and husk can usually be found in the hotel kitchen late at night.

once they’re officially a couple, most of their date nights include husk sitting on the counter while angel cooks a good dinner and once it’s done they move to the bar, where husk makes special drinks for the two of them. it’s domestic and quiet and so very needed- a calm and relaxed getaway from the chaos that is hell. all they need is each other, and they’re good to go.

with cowboy!simon he will be watching you with the animals or something and he’ll start smiling and you can see his eyes scrunch up, but if someone asks he says its the sunlight in his eyes when you can literally see the outline of his smile through the mask 😭

Old ask, so here's some early days Cowboy!Ghost, when he was trying to deal with the lowkey stalker urges.

There are some things Ghost never gets used to about the farm. The quiet, the heat, and you. The way the sun catches your smile, the way you push your hair up under your hat when you get hot, the way you kick your boots against the front steps to make sure all the mud is off. Fuck you're not even doing anything but living you life and yet you're all he thinks about. His eyes track you all over the farm, he can't help it.

How is he supposed to get any work done when his thoughts are so preoccupied with you? Every time he sees you it's a new distraction. But somehow not seeing you is so much worse. It's not enough just seeing you to collect meals, he needs to see you all the time. Like an itch under his skin he can't scratch. It's infuriating. He's supposed to be working.

Instead he's slacking off, looking for you. Just for a peak, just to see you and then he'll go back to work. He finds you in the barn, and- Shit, wait. This is crazy. He has no plan, no reason to come find you, and it's not like you're not also working. He can't stop both your days for his own impulses. Can he?

He just wants to see you. That doesn't have to stop your work.

Ghost shakes his head, he's got no reason to sneak around. There's no reason for you to suspect he came looking for you, and there's a million reason he could've stopped by the barn. The heat must be melting his brain.

You don't even look up when he walks into the barn, too focused on the orphaned calf you've been taking care of. Good. Ghost heads towards the tack hooks, looking over gear and taking stock. His eyes drifting to you and the eager little cow. You laugh and talk quietly to it as it suckles from the large bottle in your hands. You're gorgeous, you glow even in the dusty sunlight.

If you ever turn that smile his way he thinks he might just marry you. It's so soft and affectionate, your hand petting the calf's back as you smile at the creature. He wonders how many animals on this farm you brought up yourself, and whether they all received that gentle affection.

He doesn't even realize he's smiling, or that he's halted any pretense of work, until you still and look up at him. You smile cooling into something friendly. The warmth of it chafes when it's turned on him, more polite than affectionate.

"He's cute right?" You ask, your voice raised just enough to carry to him.

"What?"

"The calf," You nod to your charge, "You're smiling at him."

Ghost stiffens, fixes his face under his mask. "I don't smile."

"Yeah you do, your eyes get all scrunchy," You grin, all the warmth back in your smile, as you deal your final blow, "It's charming."

"It's the sun." Ghost tells you quickly, making his way out of the barn with just as much speed. He can hear you laughing behind him, affectionate not teasing.

He hopes he never gets used to you.

spicelantern HD remaster

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

‘I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me’ energy

Uh oh, meme guy strikes again, oh shit oh fuck oh god- (HTB is by @mustangs-flames btw, check them out! It’s an awesome series)

It is 11:45 PM and I can feel my mind deteriorating, but god was this fun to make -Jonah

Bonus behind the scenes of what drawing this was like when your (in headspace) best friend is a fictive hyperfixated on his own source:

erm. erm. th urge to draw this may or may not hav kept me awake 👀

(vry mild suggestive)

i do not simp many swaps but...

one thing I’m willing to defend w a sword is that the new girl characters would have been much happier if they continued their community based co living situation & raised their kids together instead of following societal norms. and if nick n schmidt held hands (qpr)

imagine buffy asking spike stuff like what was it like when he watched a movie for the first time and them just hanging out talking about everything and nothing