#and kinda cathartic for some reason? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pumpkinstrawbrew · 5 months

Text

*.of all base passions, fear is most accursed.*

(i think, that one of those reasons why i always adored the scarecrow, even as a kid, not only bc of his horror aestetics, but also bc....fear is generally such a facinzting topic. such a vivid, mundane, yet awfully powerful thing. an' jonathan seems to view himself as both the master n' the slave of said emotion. or more so, he claims that he used to be overpowered by it as jonathan crane, but the scarecrow is the one, who holds it within his palm. an' i mean, both of those things are true an' co-exist. but in this instance, i only took the set-ups, where he's a scared, panicked lil animal. just how i like him, aside from him being absolutely nuts and' vicious as hell. bc i very much love those set-ups too!

but ahh, both drawings weren't planned. like not in a way, they are now at least. i was doodling idli an' sorta wanted to draw some sketchy spooked jon, then somehow other jons came into existence lol. so i just made a collage of them. drawing scarecrow an' scarebat stuff is cathartic for me. i just had to commit an' finish them. an' then make another art, just bc it felt right. or more like, i drew jonathan all distressed an' spooked, an' wanted to give him a comfort after being kinda mean to him. an' ah, yeah well….about that. i guess, one can say, that i kinda did it, but it still looks like a nightmare lmao. aka jon's main nightmare, where he associates batman with headless horseman. but it *batman* gives him a bit of comfort this time. it's kinda shippy, but also kinda not fully? as a shipper, i naturally see it as a nod to my otp, but honestly, this also can be just that. the bat being nice to jon, bc he's depressed an' intoxicated by fear an' mumbling things under his breath. at this point, it's my set-in-stone hc, that batman babysits him sometimes, when he's like this. so if i will draw it for like, third time at some point….then, i will draw it for third time, yea.

bc shippy or not, i just want bruce to pat poor sackhead on the shoulder, since he literally have no one to provide him any comfort / sympathy / pity, like ever. an' bruce can also finally see someone, whose life sucks way more than his own, so it's a win'win. not to mention, that batman's saviour complex prob always hella confused around jonathan. like, he's gotta smack him in the face, cuz' jon is evil, but he's also so sad an' kinda deplorable, that bruce wanna *or gonna* lecture his bullies for him lol.)

#batman comics #jonathan crane #scarecrow #batman rogues #batman is kinda here too but y'know #slight scarebat #brew draws

342 notes · View notes

fillinforlater · 8 months

Text

Monday of Appreciation: Part 101

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Monday of Appreciation!

My first MoA post was posted on the 20th of September 2021, two years. Time really flies, huh? I don't want this to be just another MoA 100 post, but I really gotta thank you all, especially because Part 100 received so much love, God, it made me so happy <3 It was a kinda cathartic moment, the series had an epic peak... all thanks to you.

I definitely also want to thank all the writers, without whom this all wouldn't exist. My way of thanking you all is by... featuring a FUCKTON of stories below. Even if you are not featured (first of all, I'm sorry lol), I still appreciate your work and comradery in the bunker. Y'all are amazing <3

LET'S GET TO IT!!!

No. 1: @dnd-writes: Way of Water ft. Eunbi

Ah yes, Waterbomb Eunbi. The event that captured us all. The idea with the backup dancer is straight forward, nice, but the greatest thing about this is the watersports. Waterbomb, watersports... you get it? Just read it.

No.2: @leafostuff: No Names Needed ft. Sheon (Billlie)

Thanks to Leafo for spreading the good word of Sheon and her... goddamn midriff. No more reasons needed, appreciate this girl already, ugh.

No. 3: @iznsfw: The Devil's Telephone ft. Yujin

Everything IZ touches skips the part where it turns to gold. Fuck gold, IZ just creates diamondtic-masterpieces. I was thrilled to learn about this fic and when I read it... IZ did it again! This portrayal of Yujin is everything. What are we to your might!

No. 4: @idyllicidols: Cheat Day ft. Wonyoung

Wonyoung gangbang with her fans? I bet you all are already foaming at your mouth. Go on. Read it. Leave some love for this talented writer after getting your loads off the screen.

No. 5: @rvp32: Whisper of Uncontrollable Desire ft. Chaewon

Let me tell you, rvp is great! They don't hold back, they go all out, they try A/B/O, they like futa (please write futa!) and they have a Gaeul series. This one fucking sent me <3

No. 6: @existslikepristin: Not Summer Yet ft. Jeongyeon

Thx ELP for the nice message on Part 100! Thanks also for giving us these crazy pieces again and again (well, this one isn't too crazy for your standards, but you get me). This felt really intimate, liked it!

No. 7: @dreamcatchers-husband: The City of Love and Secrets ft. Sejeong

You better learn French for this fic. But fr, now I wanna go to Paris and marry a beautiful girl before :floshed: filling her up because she truly is mine now ahhhhh

No. 8: @capslocked: SERENDIPITY ft. Eunbi

Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, what am I gonna do with you? Your fics are ALWAYS in my to read list and when I get to them... yeah, takes more than one attempt... more like five. Fuck you, I love you.

No. 9: @ggidolsmuts: Sin, Hormones and the Starlet's Boyfriend ft. Yunjin, Somi

HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, that was so FUCKING hot, I caaaaan't stop meeeeee, this is so good, I need more of this. Yeah, basically every ddeun fic makes me go like this. What a fucking legend, man.

No. 10: @smuttysabina: A Pervert Bred by Perverts only Breeds more Perverts ft. E:U (Everglow)

As you can see, the title is quite elaborate on what happens in this fic. A bunch of perverts, a lot (and I do mean a LOT) of cum to breed and in the end everyone is happy. You too, you filthy pervert?

No. 11: @writingsomesin-amber: Puppies' New Toy Part 3 ft. LSFM, Xiaoting

FUTA, the best kind of futa. The one with Alphas, with Kazuha (who always has a HUGE cock), with boundless sex that's just horny nonsense. This is what I want to read. Thank you for writing it!

No. 12: @co-reborn: [PPV] BG SEX PERFECT PINK HAIR KOREAN COLLEGE GIRL RIDES AND GETS CREAMPIED - Full Ver ($30).mp4 ft. Jiheon

This is a sequel to probably the best porn focused smut to ever exist. Thank you, c.o, for creating this, for making it a universe and for dropping another Jiheon smut. She hot, you hot <3

No. 13: @pfxhk: Staircase: Prepotent Pleasure ft. Yuqi

Kaaajin <3 finally another Yuqi fic and a very good one at that. I want her hot lips wrapped around me too now.

No. 14: @rosiesmuts: After Dark ft. Rose

Rose little fuck doll. Her pics lately have been mind-fucking or sth like that, I dunno, just sex. Oh, and I know a lot of good things happen late at night.

No. 15: @akkaweo-akkaweo: Treatment ft. Jinsoul

That's the treatment wr allll want from our dear Jinsoul. Her gorgeous visuals have really stunned me since she joined Modhaus. Now paint that pretty face.

No. 16: @mode-lfy: Jinni (SMUT) ft. Jinni (ex-NMIXX)

Sooooo... when does Jinni unzip my pants, first thing in the morning finally come back?

Edit: SHE ACTUALLY IS?!?! LFG!

No. 17: @worldsover: link in bio top 0.1% creator ft. Jiheon

This one is the follow-up to c.o's [PVV], so we got a whole-ass universe with pornstar!Jiheon now. What a blessing, and it leaves us with no doubt that Jihron would reach that 0.1% if she'd show her cute face and bubble butt on cam... when tho???

No. 18: @allthekingssmut: She's Rough And Coarse And Gets Everywhere ft. Heejin

Star Wars is already a win in my book, pair it with hotness everywhere (the sun, a mechanic, her face) and it only gets better and better. The release to all the fucking tension between those two is EPIC. Great fic!

No. 19: @writerpeach: Overindulgent ft. Wonyoung

To say I have over-indluged in this fic would be a massive understatement. When Peach let's loose and pours out tens of thousands of words of unpure smut, we know we got ourselves a massive hit, no matter the idol. To make it even better, Wonyoung.

No. 20: @okaylikesmomo: Kampfyre Part 1 - Vocals ft. Winter

Just one word: vocal training. Wait, that is two words! So Imma a need okay to write a second part to this, because Winter has not been trained enough (imo).

No. 21: @pupyuj: Magic Words ft. Wonyoung (fem!reader)

More love to female reader fics! Especially thise one, with this sweet and spicy Wony that makes girls' legs weak and mine too xD Thank you for this great story and hot smut!

No. 22: @usedpidemo: Parasailing ft. Yuri, Minju

This story feels so nostalgic, so oddly familiar. Like I was there throughout it all and feel entitled to the release at the end. This fic has me gliding, high on their two perfect bodies.

No. 23: @summersault31: Concerto Pt. 1 ft. IU

Blowjobs under the table while tempting another woman into your sinful lifestyle... this combines a clichee with a hook that has you begging: Summer, where is Part 2?

No. 24: @midnightdancingsol: I swear, the Bear Poked Me! ft. futa!Minji x Danielle

Now for the futa appreciation. I think Sol is perfect for this, especially because the mere thought of Minji fucking Dani with her... HUGE COCK... so big and... were was I? Oh yeah, Hanni is also in this.

No. 25: @maemisnippets: You're Mine, Cheeks ft. Chaehyun (fluff)

In between 29 smuts, there is this one short fluff by our dear Maems. Well deserved, I must say. Keep it up, qt, always fun bits to read.

No. 26: @mintwithchoco: [CYMX-461] ft. Choerry, Jinsoul

Monopoly can be so much fun, if you are willing to strike some questionable deals to further your chances of winning and everyone's chances to have a good time. Bathtub sex?

No. 27: @nichuuu: Where our blue is ft. Rei

A beautiful story, it truly made me fall in love with Rei, her strive and determination, her failure, her rise---and the insane, drawn-out fucking at the end. Where our blue is has it all and I have to congratulate @nichuuu: In between all these great writers, this story really stuck out to me!

No. 28: @svndaysaweek: Niche ft. Hanni

Cute little Hanni in need of her step-brother, because she is so deeply in love with him... this was so adorable and sweet at the start and then went into an excessive smut part that fried my brain.

No. 29: @sinswithpleasure: You Can Watch, But You Can't Touch [At Least, Not Yet] ft. Mina, Sana, Momo

I. Would. Not. Last. There is no shame in me saying this, but I just couldn't, with these three hotties right in front of me. Blast it all over their bodies, hng.

No. 30: @xiakato: Ella Baila Sola ft. Xiaoting

Hm, maybe Xiaoting should dance alone, I'm not really good at it though my Just Dance scores would beg to differ.

Hey, if you read all of that, you're fucking awesome. I appreciate you, and hope, you have a great week ahead. Until the next MoA, goodbye!

#mondayofappreciation #kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert

431 notes · View notes

the-eeveekins · 5 months

Text

The 25th Day of G-Witch

For the first time in her life, Suletta goes against her mother's wishes. Pushing back against her mother, who reveals she'll soon be fully paralyzed and doesn't care about her fate, Suletta rejects the plan that would lose her her mother.

Elan 4's appearance here is a surprising one, especially because there was no reason to believe people could be passively uploaded to the Data Storm until this moment. Even more confusing is that unlike the other "ghosts" seen in this episode, he seems to fully co-exist with the Data Storm like Eri. Suletta finally gets some much needed closure with her first friend, and Elan helps bear the load of the Data Storm so Suletta can connect to Quiet Zero and reactivate Aerial.

Suletta has always struggled to voice her wants and needs, to express her desires. But here, finally, she calls herself a greedy person, because she doesn't want to accept a future without her mom OR Ericht, and she expresses that desire to Eri. Working together, their hearts aligned, Suletta and Eri surpass Permet Score 8 and create a massive Data Storm that even reaches the moon.

Rainbow Calibarn is my favorite mobile suit ever.

Miorine's is so brave. We finally see the results of the deal she made with Shaddiq in the last episode. She dissolves the Benerit Group and transfers it's assets to Earth, just like Shaddiq had wanted to do. And with Shaddiq's testimony, the world will know that the Space Assembly League had a hand in the various terrorist attacks at Plant Quetta and Asticassia.

Despite that, the SAL still intends to fire the laser cannon, reasoning that they can still justify wiping out millions as long as Quiet Zero still exists.

Suletta's crowning moment of awesome, as she uses the Gundam and Quiet Zero to create a massive Data Storm and override the laser and shut it down, all while The Witch From Mercury plays triumphantly in the background. It's the climax of the action in this series, and for a show titled "The Witch From Mercury", it's appropriate that it ends with the titular Witch casting a massive magic spell to save the day while her theme and the theme of the show itself plays. Suletta turns the Gundam's Curse into a Blessing.

This scene breaks me every time. The culmination of the Samaya/Mercury storyline. Suletta's validation of Prospera's choice to save Ericht, the moment where the mask breaks, Prospera "dies" and Elnora sees her daughter for the first time in 17 years. As both her daughters tell her they're ready to move on and live together, Elnora finally gives up on her crusade and makes a tearful apology to both of them. Wish playing in the background is the cherry on top to this cathartic climax.

My only complaint was the implication that Prospera had long ago completely given up on revenge for Eri's sake. It's true that she set aside her hatred of Delling to work with him on Quiet Zero because she believed it was the only way to give Eri a future that wasn't trapped in a mobile suit, unable to directly communicate with anyone. But that also goes against her portrayal in multiple scenes. She's seen to be revenge minded in Cradle Planet, and one of her most iconic moments in the show is whispering in Miorine's ear that she wants revenge against Delling. And then immediately dragging Miorine through hell for seemingly no reason than as revenge for her father's actions.

It kinda felt like something added to the script at the last second to tone down the "harshness" of her actions while ignoring the fact that she was openly revenge-minded 8 episodes ago.

I was firmly in the camp that believed they wouldn't kill Suletta at the end of the show. It just didn't make sense from a narrative standpoint and would've just been a downer ending for the sake of being a downer ending.

But despite that, the first time I saw this scene, they absolutely got me. The deafening silence of Miorine's screams and the absolute horror on her face sold me for a moment that they had killed Suletta, and I just felt my heart absolutely sink. And then Suletta finally responded, and I shared Miorine's relief and joy.

Shaddiq's ending is often a contentious one, especially the fact that he ends up in jail and on trial for his crimes while the former heads of the Benerit Group seemingly escaped justice. But I think a lot of people take too much of a black and white stance on this topic.

Shaddiq is in jail and may even face the death penalty for his actions, something he was fully prepared for, but through Miorine's actions, Shaddiq achieved all his goals. The Benerit Group was dissolved, with Earth gaining the assets that once belonged to their greatest oppressor. His testimony likely did severe damage to the Space Assembly League in the process, exposing the crimes of it's members. And the girls he cared for have their freedom, working for Miorine as part of GUND-ARM Inc, free to make their own impact in the future. And as one final gesture to Miorine, he even takes the blame for Quiet Zero, so Miorine's newfound family won't have investigators trying to jail them. Shaddiq may not be a free man, but I believe he is a satisfied man, no matter what happens next.

As for the leaders of the Benerit Group, yes, they survived and have thus far escaped imprisonment for their various crimes. But their empire is over.

The Benerit Group is no more, the empire Delling built over two decades dissolved by the very daughter he neglected and tried to control. Delling himself doesn't even appear in a scene with Miorine in the epilogue, in stark contrast to the scenes she shared with her new family, and I don't think they're close. She definitely doesn't let him come around her family after all the pain he caused them. And he's under inquiry for this actions that led to Quinharbor and Quiet Zero, a sign that he may still face justice for some of his many crimes.

Likewise, yes the Peil Ladies appear to be in a retirement home and likely had some wealth hidden away so they can have a nice, comfortable retirement. Something 99% of us would be satisfied with, but not people like them. They lost their entire business empire, their plans to come out on top after QZ completely ruined, and even 3 years later they still look miserable that their vast wealth and power is gone.

These people did not come away with a happy ending, they're miserable, even if they're free. For now.

Speaking of miserable, I wonder if Guel is truly happy with this path in life. Guel was an awful person at the start of the show, and through his often horrible experiences, he did grow into a more mature person who wasn't a raging asshole to the people around him, and maybe even learned to trust the people closest to him and not push them away.

But ultimately Guel is the only one not to escape the shadow of his abusive parent, still running his father's company 3 years later. It's unclear, but he's still likely running the company as a weapons manufacturer and possibly still contributing to the problem. I just wonder if he'd ultimately be a happier person if he wasn't trying to live up to his father and instead pursuing his own path like he did when he was "Bob." Regardless, he now has a short-term future of being absolutely sassed to death by Elan and Secelia.

Another slightly contentious topic is Eri's fate. Is being trapped in a keychain really much better than being trapped in an 18m tall killing machine. For a few reasons, Eri is definitely better off now. She's still beyond score eight, something which allows her to reach out and connect to or override any Permet device. Her "body" may be a small keychain, but it comes across to me that Eri's consciousness has been extended and she can see and interact with things beyond her body now, and that when Suletta pushed her beyond score eight, it granted her the freedom that would have been possible under Quiet Zero, but without the massive Data Storm oppression the entire Earth Sphere. And of course, we're shown in this scene that Miorine wears a device on the back of her neck that Eri can connect to and directly communicate with (Suletta is also shown to be wearing one).

Even if she's still "trapped" in an object, she's far more free and mobile than she was as a mobile suit, able to travel and see the world with her family. And her family wears devices to accommodate her unique situation so Eri can communicate with her family. She's no longer trapped in a weapon, unable to communicate with her loved ones. Her existence may not be perfect, but it's undoubtedly better and I think Ericht is happy she's survived this long to once again experience a loving family.

Oh, and "Sister-in-law." It's not as common now, but when the show finished airing and there wasn't an on-screen kiss or wedding, there was a lot of complaining that the show was subtextual bait. And a lot of people overlooked or ignored the fact that Suletta and Miorine being married was explicitly confirmed in the text of the show with this one line. You'd literally have to invent another sibling for Eri that didn't exist 3 years ago for this line to mean anything else, but a lot of people ignored it to argue the show was only subtext because they only see textual romance as specific words and kisses.

Three years have passed, Suletta and Miorine have married and live together on Earth with Ericht and Elnora. A family they fought hard to earn. Suletta was disabled as a result of piloting the Calibarn, with visible Permet scarring on her cheeks. But she's thriving and happy, and clearly loved by her family and friends, ultimate proof that she is loved for who she is and not her abilities. And she's accomplished all the dreams we saw her set for herself during the show: She's built her school on Mercury, married Miorine and saved her mom and sister so they can all live happily together.

It's an severe exaggeration to say that Gundam protagonists always have bad endings, but they're usually more bittersweet. But Suletta fought to earn her happy ending, and to see the first female main character in Gundam earn a happy ending while also being queer, disabled and a person of color is so inspiring to see.

Miorine too, is probably the happiest we ever see in the show. It was rare to see her genuinely let her guard down and smile, something she pretty much only did around Suletta. But she's all smiles when she's with her wife, and after pushing her away once and almost losing her forever at QZ, she just will. not. let. go. of Suletta now, both physically supporting her but also making sure she'll always hold onto the person she loves.

In the first episode, Suletta was hungry, but too shy and nervous to ask for food when she saw Miorine tending to her tomatoes, and Miorine gave her food (and love). Now Suletta has grown and can comfortably express her wants and needs to the people around her, even if it's just the simple act of saying she's hungry. And Miorine responds with the warmest smile possible.

Suletta & Miorine go home together to the house they share. Surrounded by friends and family, sharing a warm meal that symbolizes the love they've nurtured together. They're in love and they're happy, and they leave us with one final wish...

May All Blessings Find Their Way to You, I'm Wishing It

I love The Witch From Mercury and I love SuleMio, and I love sharing my love of this show and these two wonderful characters with others. Is G-Witch perfect? No. But I love it far more than any other piece of media in my life.

Thank you for joining me during these 25 Days of G-Witch. If you celebrate, I hope you have a Merry Christmas, and if not, I hope that you're enjoying the holiday season.

#25 days of g witch #I took 96 screencaps for this episode #g witch #the witch from mercury #sulemio #gundam #g witch spoilers

141 notes · View notes

lakesparkles · 1 month

Note

hii!!! would you be willing to do a little doodle of your nega ramona and gideon interacting? understandable if you don't take requests I'm just in LOVE with your design of her and your au in general!!! feel free to also use this ask to elaborate about the au more instead because id love to hear that too :D

Hi!! :D

Honestly, I wasn't going to draw this request today (I'm afraid I'm drawing Gideon too much lately lmao sorry, he just can't leave my mind). But I got some pretty weird comments on this AU of mine that made me kinda sad... so I kept rereading this ask to cheer me up and I'm very thankful you like her and this AU!! It really means a lot in this moment!

Now, the important part, yes, I take requests and I love this one:

Just a few things make Gideon feel uneasy. She's one of them. Not because he thinks she might be a ghost, but because she looks too similar to Ramona.

And more about the AU:

I would like to say I finally started writing a fanfiction about it and I'm close to finish the first chapter ^^

It'll be seven chapters long and it'll be hard to write ngl, I never wrote something like this before, usually my fics are cute ship things.

I can share the first scene:

Ramona and Gideon - I . . . She decides to leave one last time Or

Ramona remembers the seven reasons that made her fall in love with Gideon

She had that same fantasy every day. As she walked down the halls, running her fingers along the wall, she imagined herself entering her own room. It was satisfying, somehow. She could perfectly see herself opening her wardrobe, taking out the few things that really interested her, putting everything in her bag and simply walking away. In that fantasy, of course, she always smiled. She even laughed. That kind of hysterical and cathartic laughter only present in films. She wanted to imagine how Gideon would react: how long would it be before he realized she wasn't there anymore? Two weeks? And when would he realize that this wasn't just another one of her "famous tantrums"? Two months? Two years? Part of her was almost excited at the prospect of making him furious with such an accomplishment. It would be his turn to take endless turns through the halls, finally using his brain to try to understand what had gone so wrong between them. Maybe he would find out years later. Or perhaps that doubt would eat away at him for decades to come, the bitterness of her image never leaving his mind. And part of her… thought that wasn't realistic. She knew Gideon well enough to know that he would never even consider any mistake on his part, with a mixture of confusion that never ended well when it came to him. Or worst. He wouldn't even care about her lack of presence in that house. Therefore, Ramona released her fingers from the wall, slowly slowing down her steps until she stopped altogether. Then the fantasy ended. Every single time.

#ask tag #// suggestive #gideon graves #ramona flowers #nega ramona #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #this answer is looong #my writing #ramona and gideon AU #<- temporary name

71 notes · View notes

weirdplutoprince · 4 months

Note

Cat now you have to share your favorite vilainess isekais the people need to know

GOD ok hmmmmm. In no particular order but here are my favourites and its strongest qualities:

Beware of the villainess

Pros: Very funny, sympathetic to original female lead and villainess alike. Very self aware and critical of common tropes of the genre, specially regarding shitty male leads. Rare example of non subservient maid as well. Can't miss it with this one.

Cons: Male lead is boring and a bit annoyingly protective. I wish it was yuri. At least he's pathetic so there is that. Only character of colour is an agressive werewolf iirc so not great.

2. Death is the Only Ending for the Villainess

Pros: Condemns shitty male leads, very sympathetic to the original villainess. Very cathartic in the 'shaming your abusive family' way. Good kind of pain and suffering. I find it very satisfying.

Cons: I don't like any of the male leads. Theres a yandere-esque guy, which is game ending for me but maybe not for you so, eh.

3. Milady just wants to relax

Pros: Very satisfying and pleasant to read. She's fairly self sufficient at the start, and it avoids having the guys constantly rescue her. It's been a while so I dont rememeber details, but I gave it a high grade. Male leads have very fun furry designs.

Cons: Male leads have very lame human designs. They start doing annoying things like picking her up randomly later on. I dont know how it ends.

4. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

Pros: Great revenge story. Main character is actually a villainess and gets to do shady, fucked up things. I don't hate the male lead. I personally find her very cute and I like inherent tragedy of her relationship with her evil ass sister.

Cons: I dont have a problem with that personally but her revenge has basically no bad consequences for her so dont expect this kind of depth. Still think its cool.

5. I Became the Stepmother of An Irrevocable Dark Family

Pros: This one is kinda mid actually and I only read the novel BUT it has my favourite mother and child relationship in these. I found the kid genuinely very cute and endearing.

Cons: The guy is a fucking idiot and it has one of the most convoluted, stupid isekai reasons I have ever seen to justify that.

6. I want to be you, Just for a day

Pros: Focused on the female lead and villainess and their deeply complicated relationship. Sympathetic to both of them and actually bothers with their feelings and struggles inherent to their positions. Revenge story. Very intense but cool.

Cons: Really dark in terms of abuse, violence etc. I don't know if the shitty male lead guy is end game or not so beware.

I like some others but they're not villainesses or at more mid so. There you go.

#asks #falando #isekai posting #shoujo posting #recs

74 notes · View notes

orangeocelotmartyn · 11 months

Text

Martyn talks a bit more about the Imp and Skizz podcast (which he’ll be on June 16) including a lovely message Skizz sent him afterwards. Transcript under the cut!

Martyn: But yeah, I got a really nice message from, uh, Skizz earlier on today about the podcast. Um, he just sent a message saying, "Hey, I'm editing part one right now, just wanted to say thanks for being so incredibly authentic. This episode's gonna be well recieved as people learn about the real you, it's extremely interesting." So...yeah.

There was a few times I gave answers and they were both kinda sat there...almost like, they almost looked somewhat surprised, or stunned, I dont know, that I was speaking so (laughs), so, I don't know, so blatantly. And I was a bit like, "ooh, is that too much?" (laughs), I was just like, "oop."

And earlier in the podcast as well—so please forgive me when you watch it—ah, there was a few times in, uh, like, the first hour, where I kept kinda like, chipping in, or chiming in, and kinda like, speaking over them? And it wasn't intentional, it was more—there was a very slight delay on the, um, on the feed between the two of us—and also as well, sometimes, like, their sentence, or what they were saying, felt like the tone of their voice was like indicating the end of their statement, but then they would say something else, and I'd be like, "oop-ah-I'm so—sorry, sorry." (laughs)

So yeah, that, that happened a little bit. But that's not just me completely ignoring their saying, it was just me, um, navigating—like, learning how they speak, as well as—y'know, the lag as well.

"Got a long plane ride coming up so it sounds interesting," yeah—the thing—the thing that I said to them as well, I said like, I think the reason I did speak openly and honestly about it is, one, because of my recent therapy, but also because I find those two incredibly authentic. Like, you know, Impulse is very open, about talking about, like, how much he second guesses himself, and things like that, and then Skizz is—you know—very much like, I think Skizz is kinda like the person I've become, or am becoming, where it's—there's a lot of, kinda, self love, and kinda unapologeticness with stuff like that.

Um, so I think speaking to both of them meant that I felt as though I'm literally in a limbo between their two personality types which is why it felt so easy to speak about those things, is because I feel though they've both experienced it, or are currently experiencing those things. Um, and I was saying to them, like, whenever I watch their podcast and they talk about stuff—like, they do a lot of, kinda like, sorta like pushing for people to help themselves kinda thing. But I was saying to them that, like, it always genuinely feels really authentic, and doesn't feel...it doesn't feel preachy, or—they're not trying to shift some course, or some pyramid scheme thing, its—they've just both got some good life experience behind them and they've had time to learn lessons and stuff, and I was just like, yeah, like, this feels like a space where they will-they will pick up what I put down, y'know what I mean.

Um, it was really good. I said to them towards the end I was like, this was like—I think is it the word cathartic? I think I said that, I dunno if that's the right word, but for me I was like, oh that felt really good. That felt great for me.

#inthelittlewood #Imp and Skizz #skizzleman #i’ll transcribe when I’m home

278 notes · View notes

porlatamconlouis · 18 days

Text

louis in panamá! louis back in latam!!! louis is back in his spirit home!!!

the crowd was amaaaazing! listen, every louis show i've been to holds a special place in my heart for different reasons. but being in a crowd where everyone around you gives out the same energy, even when they don't fully know some songs, is something i've been craving for a long time now, and it's just the beginning and i'm sooo excited. the venue itself was kinda meh inside, the way they used the space was terrible in my opinion but as a brightside, gaby and i had lots of space to jump and dance and lose our entire minds.

the setlist order change threw us off, but god i love it. the 'chemical' cover... idk how to explain it but the videos i've seen so far (which haven't been many, i'm on wifi most of the time) don't do it one bit of justice. his voice! his voooooooice! that's all i kept saying throughout the song. because i didn't know the song, and the arrangement was so punk that i thought it was a song from an early 2000s pop punk band that i wasn't recognizing. but duuuude, his voice. i hope we get a good version, because that boi whined away with his whole chest... honestly. and i can't fucking wait to see how more and more comfortable he'll get with the song and more people singing it with him, and just... yeah!

oli, krystle and helen were in the open space where there were no chairs, right in front of us... oli walks to not draw attention to himself, but boi, most of us know you by now. i didn't see anybody coming up to them which was nice. they went to the sound booth for a big chunk of the show. and during ooms krys and helen came back to jump and dance to the side there. i loved seeing them like that!

the happiness we felt when we saw lucia coming down! gaby and i were jumping up and down screaming "lucia! lucia is back! lucia!", hajshajshs. and theeeen, at the end, as i always do if possible, we went to the soundbooth to thank my friends (jdelf, tom and oli c.) for the show, and we thanked them for bringing lucia (the lightbulb) and not leaving her behind, and they were amused (and probably a bit weirded out (they've seen me in the same shirt at least 4 times lmao)) and saying thank you for appreciating them and just yeah. i like to think maybe they already knew her name was lucia, but also, i'm glad someone on the ground straight up told them how fucking appreciated she is. 💚 look at herrrr! (lol)

living all my favorite songs live again was so cathartic. didn't know how much i needed it, wow. also, how are we gonna call that insane set of songs before the encore? my vote is for "rip steve's arms" or "no breathing mix" or "lose your shit time". because going from 505 to bty to kmm to ooms is fucking wild, man. it was absolutely incredible, i think i ascended a little bit and was fully exorcised, thanks.

oh! the kmm lights? soooo good! i know they've been done at all the shows after '22 but like... idk. it felt a bit extra special? and he sensed it as well, he couldn't contain his little smiles. and he gave it a shout out. literally everyone knew they had to do it. so cool!

as a sad note, during sibwawc, the lights from the stage weren't really colourful, they just kinda went from orange to white from what i remember. gaby and i waved our flags for the entirety of the megamix (and a bunch of other songs too, hajshajs, duh) and since we were going off the whole time, and not as many people were, he did see us all the way to the back and pointed at where we were and we looked at each other and just kept going. we then corroborated our stories in the hostal, hajdhaj. enjoy the following video as if you were next to us and just jumping around, okay thanks (when you see everyone else jump around that's when he comes to our side).

anyway, i wrote all of this while on the airplane that's gonna take me to puerto rico, which is a bit delayed. oh, and el puma rodríguez is on this flight, lmao. iykyk. some ladies, while boarding, just stood in front of him and took a selfie, eeep. right, here's some carpet photos.

i'm so lucky i get to do this insane adventure, i'm so happy.

(meant to save this in drafts while the video uploaded but guess it got posted instead, hajshajsh. anywaaaay... thanks for the lovely notes, loves.)

#jules blah blah #show ciudad de panamá

42 notes · View notes

sokkastyles · 4 months

Note

Hi, I’m finding it difficult to wrap my head around your (and some other meta writers) take on Sokka’s sexism and how writing a nonsexist society would be braver?

Why is it more brave to write a story without bigotry than one overcoming it?

Defensive Writing Section Where I Respond to What I Imagine You Could Respond With: 1) I know the original series did not succeed in, or even really try, empowering its women. 2) I know sexism is baked into the show and its romances. 3) I know Katara deserves better (but, this might be where we diverge, I don’t feel served by a reality/story where we pretend women’s domestic, unappreciated labor isn’t a pillar holding society up. Tbh it feels kinda disrespectful to keep that offscreen and media tends to downplay it as is). 4) I know the show isn’t out yet and we’re all guessing. I am picking your brain on your guess cause it confused me. 5.) Sokka’s arc is about maturing manhood and leadership, I’m afraid removing his sexism dodges an opportunity to explicitly deconstruct its toxic expressions. Again, I know the show was unsatisfactory with this the first go around.

Fan Mail Section Where I Attempt To Convey I Meant No Harm: Love your blog! Again, just confused.

First of all, I did not say that writing a nonsexist society would be braver or that the story should not have bigotry in it. What I said is that the story should have more adult women in it.

For example, I do enjoy Katara's story of struggling against feeling like she needs to take on a motherly role because of her gender. I think it's realistic because it's a conflict many girls face, and watching her fight against that can be cathartic. But what's harder to reconcile is the way the narrative goes out of its way to justify forcing this role on Katara. Not all of this can be chalked up to a sexist world. Kya being dead before the story begins was a decision the writers made, for example. I'm not necessarily saying that should be changed, but it is a common trope in media and it's a problem that women are disproportionately killed off to serve fictional narratives this way. Compare, for example, the way the story explains Hakoda's absence without killing him off entirely, and the fact that we know a heck of a lot more about him as a character than we do Kya. His absence is still used to characterize the heroes, to explain the struggle they face in a war-torn world, but he gets to be an active agent in the story, too.

Another example is that although a lot of Sokka's sexism stems from a lack of understanding of Katara's waterbending, which can be explained in the narrative by the fact that the FN has nearly eradicated southern waterbending, this does not explain why Katara wasn't taught more about her bending by her grandmother, who is both from the northern tribe and present when Hama and the other benders were taken. In the flashbacks in "The Puppet Master," we see that there were many women who used combat waterbending, and apparently waterbending healing was not even known in the south so there was no gendered division like in the north. There's no real reason why that should change so quickly in such a short amount of time to the point where the southern water tribe all of the sudden becomes this hugely sexist society where only men are known to fight.

Katara and Sokka are presented with opposite ideas about gender, but we don't have any real sense of where they got these ideas. I like to headcanon that Katara got her feminism from gran-gran, who fled the southern water tribe because of sexism, but it's strange then that Katara doesn't even know this story. Why is Kanna such a complete nonentity in the narrative, when her story is so important to the story the show wants to tell about Katara?

We get more backstory on Sozin than we do a lot of the adult women in the story, when they even show up. Zuko's mom is fridged just like Katara's, and although I love how this serves as a bonding point between them, it would be less glaring if Iroh's and Azulon's and Sozin's wives were also not nonentities in the narrative.

Someone commented on this post that the live action might be giving us Suki's mom. So let's look at how even this small change might effect the story. Even keeping in Sokka's sexism. Let's say that it does play out like in the original, and when they get to Kyoshi Island, Sokka is shocked - shocked! - to be beaten by a bunch of women. We're supposed to think Sokka is wrong. And he does get proven wrong. But the Kyoshi Warriors are still the exception to the rule. Sokka doesn't so much learn that women deserve respect as much as he learns to respect some women because they can kick his ass.

But, if we bring in Suki's mom, then suddenly Suki doesn't have to be the sole named character responsible for teaching Sokka not to be sexist. The story becomes less about how Sokka should respect women because some of them are cool and he'll get a girlfriend out of it, and more about how all women deserve the same respect, because we see more women just present and living in the world of the story.

I'd also like to ask everyone to take a step back here, because to my knowledge, the show never said it was taking out certain arcs or presenting the characters without narrative flaws. This all seems to stem from the young actors themselves saying merely that the show took out some "iffy" moments.

So what did they take out that Ian and Kiiawntio might be referring to? Maybe some of the anachronistic and, frankly, racist moments such as, for example, Sokka and Katara calling Zuko and Sokka's cultural hairstyles "ponytails." Which would make sense, considering that the show probably feels like they can trust their audience to accept hairstyles that might appear different to Americans moreso than the writers of the original show did, considering that this is not a show airing on American kids' cable in the early 2000s, but a modern show with a global and much more globally aware audience. These are the kinds of updates that I would expect from a modern live action series. And that is a very good thing.

I also trust the young actors of color playing these kids to say "hey, these kids would not actually talk like that!" More than I trust white writers and execs.

#atla live action #katara #sokka #atla discourse

53 notes · View notes

theacecouple · 6 months

Note

Ugh, I feel like a dunce for buying into James Somerton for this long. There kept being small things that seemed off to me, and he always seemed kinda dismissive of the Ace community, but for some reason I just kept giving him the benefit of the doubt! At least now I know of a lot more actually genuine queer creators to follow.

How are ya’ll faring with all this?

We also feel like fools, because we gave that guy A LOTTA DOLLARS. It's honestly a little cathartic to be able to commiserate with others who have been wronged by James Somerton publicly this time. We did so a bit last year with some Nebula creators or other Aces who saw right through him, but we were all also facing harassment from James' followers, so we were sparing with the public details.

#Also we recorded 3 hours of venting about our personal experiences with that guy for next week's podcast episode #and we want our fucking money back #James Somerton #hbomberguy

51 notes · View notes

fanfictiongreenirises · 1 month

Note

What are some themes in Jiang Cheng fan works that you especially enjoy?

I’m super sorry for how long it’s taken me to reply to you but you caught me during Eid week which was insanely chaotic 🤣 this got kinda long so i'm popping it under the cut :D

Violent and self sacrificial love: you cannot have JC without his all encompassing love, and it’s one of the things that makes him such an interesting character. There are few things that make JC act irrationally, and his loved ones are a very major one!! It’s such a fun thing to play with - I love characters that love with their whole self and stories that focus on the consequences of that!!!

Responsibility, duty, tradition: okay this is like many different things rolled into one rather niche dot point so bear with me. I LOVE that JC is a character who takes his responsibilities seriously!! He is dutiful and he does his best to put the sect before all else, and you have no idea how hard it is to find that in fantasy that I’m used to (Western YA and NA fantasy lmao). I really love fics that have that theme of sacrificing for duty and eventually reaping the benefits of that (the sect being so loyal to JC in return, the sect flourishing, the love that JL has for JC), but also fics that look at JC upholding YMJ traditions when he’s one of the few who remember them, or having to adjust traditions/make new ones because of that reason. And as I’m typing this out I’m realising there’s… probably a reason… for me enjoying seeing cultural traditions needing to be adjusted because you don’t have much family or the same resources around and things are very different from how your parents would’ve celebrated those same traditions, and needing to make those who are around your family now… Anyway, it’s just insanely cathartic to see certain cultural values and themes across so many fanworks. I've thought about this particular element to the point where I realised the other month that there’s a whole world outside of Western fantasy novels that likely do have these themes that are so fucking hard to find in Western novels, so I’m trying out other Chinese novels, i dipped into Japanese books, and I got my cousin to recommend me Bangla fantasy novels because I realised I’ve never considered how fantasy themes would be in my own culture 😔✊ (it's funny timing bc my dad arrived literally a couple hrs ago with the books, and my reading ability is decent for someone who's never needed to read Bangla but I'm gonna have to sit down with either google translate or a dictionary bc I'm so used to my parents translating harder words or getting us to read books for younger kids,, i'm like which words here are made-up fantasy words and which are real 💀😭)

Grief: grief has quite literally shaped this guy, and it’s so cool to see different fics have different takes on how it’s affected him as a person. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a fandom where grief has been such a huge theme and it’s very fun to see the fandom leaning into it. (I also need to given honorary shoutouts to disillusionment, guilt, loneliness, and repression!! I think a lot of these are especially interesting in combo with how much JC values responsibility and duty, and fics that study them are so chefs kiss.)

Turning Into His Mother: I’m so obsessed with this theme. I think it’s mostly because YZY is so mum coded for me and there are aspects of my own mother that I see in her so strongly that any time fic gives her and JC’s relationship the depth it deserves, I’m standing there chomping on wood. I especially love it when JC’s journey has elements of “I can’t be like my mother bc everyone says that’s bad” -> “I should act like my father, because he’s the only example I have of a sect leader” -> “am I difficult to love like my mother was?” -> “the best way to protect those I love is through the things my mother taught me” -> “the only parent whose love I genuinely felt was my mother’s so when I’m displaying love to a child, I should use the most successful method I know” -> “I am like my mother; maybe that’s a good thing”. It’s rare that I get to sink my teeth into a character who had such a complex relationship with his mother, so any fics with this theme automatically make me go insane. (Something here as well about JC written in fics as a woman scorned, JC with ruined woman vibes who’d been promised by WWX that he’d always be by his side and now isn’t and without any good reason that JC is aware of, something about fics that project feminine rage onto him in a way that feels freeing and safe because he’s a male character so it’s like you can almost examine it without having to examine sexism and gender roles…)

Aroace and queer themes: aro!JC!! ace!JC!! Never before have I been into a character I can project onto so fully, but also see other people projecting onto?? This fandom has so many gorgeous aroace!JC fanworks, and we get so much variety from ppls experiences!! there’s something extremely fulfilling about fics with a main character who doesn’t feel conventional romantic/sexual love, and is still very successful and has a full life with loved ones and is satisfied with life. There's also this tiny niche of fics involving JC in queerplatonic relationships, and any time I read those I would literally have to lie there for an hour contemplating my life. I think the other fun thing about this is that there's a pretty big chunk of the fandom that characterises JC as the kind of acesexual who thinks all his allo friends are absolute weirdos for how they're behaving, and it's such a funny and refreshing (and extremely relatable) take.

Whump: last but definitely not least, JC being whumped within an inch of his life 😌 I love this fandom deciding that the most efficient way to get JC to show emotions is to shove some knives in him and get him all bloodied up. The one gore/torture fic that genuinely icked me out to the point where I had to stop reading for a moment was a delightful post canon JC fic that I revisit every few months because it just scratches that whump itch so well 👏

I’m sure the moment I post this I’ll be hit by like fifty other things I forgot to put in here, but for now I’m blanking. thank youu for giving me an excuse to think about JC 🫶🫶🫶

#asks #you know that post that's like 'my mutuals would be able to diagnose me based on my blorbos'? yea something about finding the themes i enjo #in JC fics. and realising how similar a lot of them are with blorbos i gravitate towards in other media. hrm

22 notes · View notes

markantonys · 1 month

Note

Apologies if you've answered this question before, but if things had gone down differently and Mat hadn't had to have been written out of 1x7 and 1x8, what do you think his s2 arc might have looked like?

an intriguing question!! i believe rafe stated that the original plan was to have the 3 boys on the hunt for the horn as in TGH, but the changes they were forced to make to mat's storyline made them decide to double down on the isolation theme and send rand and perrin off on their own too. and while it was unplanned, i think it actually turned out so perfectly because s1 introduced us to the kids in a group and then in pairs, and splitting them up fully for the bulk of s2 was such a great way to dig deeper into each individual character. in the book perrin and especially mat just kinda get dragged along like sacks of potatoes while the lion's share of the hunt storyline is about rand, so i'm kinda hard-pressed to imagine how those two would've had enough content specific to them in s2 if all 3 of them had been together! (i don't know how far they actually were into planning s2 when all the shit went down during s1 filming, so it could be that rafe's mention of the 3 boys on the hunt was only a vague idea at the time and they never had the chance to nail down too many specifics of what s2 would look like for mat and the other boys.)

now, back to mat. in s1 he had more "reluctant hero" vibes (doesn't want to be a hero, just wants to go home) while in s2 he had more "self-doubting hero" vibes (doesn't think he can be a hero, thinks he's doomed to repeatedly let down the people he loves). and there's definitely some self-doubting hero vibes in s1 mat too and some reluctant hero vibes in s2 mat, and overall Mat Doesn't Think He's A Hero is a consistent throughline of both seasons, but there is a slight shift in WHY mat doesn't think he's a hero, or at least a slight shift in focus on which of a couple reasons is the main one. and this is almost 100% due to The Great Waygate Abandonment, i think. mat for sure had low self-esteem in s1 too, but the s2 arc of "mat is scared that he's a piece of shit who'll keep on abandoning his friends when they need him", that organically grew out of The Great Waygate Abandonment and i don't know if it would've been as much of a focus for his s2 emotional arc if he'd gone with everybody to fal dara as originally planned. as such, while i think him being a hero of the horn would have been the plan regardless, i don't know if that moment would have been framed exactly the same way or would have felt like such a cathartic moment of validation for mat. (but maybe it would have, because like i said s1 mat certainly struggled with his self-worth too. the idea of him being scared of being just like his dad came from 1x01, after all, even if s2 was able to enhance it even more thanks to having a concrete instance where mat failed to show up for his friends.)

and to think that we never would have known the beauty of The Great Cauthor Reunion if The Great Waygate Abandonment hadn't happened! although, in TGH rand gets separated from the group and then mat and perrin (et al) find him again in cairhien, so it IS possible that an original plan for s2 could have still featured rand going off on his own for some portion followed by a cairhien reunion. but it wouldn't have hit nearly as hard if they'd only been separated for a brief time as it did when they hadn't seen each other since the waygate!

The Great Cauthor Stabbening is another interesting thing to ponder. would that still have happened if mat had gone to fal dara? i think so. i suspect that rand getting the shadar logoth wound from mat rather than fain may have always been the plan, because it's just so hard to get fain into rand's storyline and makes a lot more sense to keep him limited to being an antagonist to perrin and mat (like, sure fain could've stabbed rand at falme, but it would just feel kinda random bc the two of them have very little narrative connection to each other even in the books and none whatsoever in the show). i also think it makes sense to switch the wound order so the dagger one comes first because the dagger is never as much of a focus again as it is in the first couple books/seasons, so makes sense to strike while the iron's hot and have rand get the dagger wound early while the dagger is still relevant, and save the shadow wound for later.

and s1 set up mat and fain's relationship and many people have speculated that fain's fal dara scene with perrin was originally supposed to be with mat, so i think the scene of him meeting up with mat in falme and trying to tempt him with the dagger would probably still have happened regardless, and i think mat accidentally stabbing rand with the dagger would probably still have happened too. however, i don't know about the min viewing angle. it's definitely possible that Mat On The Hunt could have still encountered min and the rand stabbing viewing could have still happened, but it's also possible that that viewing and the mat-min meeting grew out of the s1 changes and that in a different version mat would've stabbed rand by accident but not had any prior idea that that was fated to happen, and maybe min would have been involved in the girls' storyline instead like she was in TGH. but then, a preexisting mat-min connection improves the story beat of them both ending up with the seanchan together, so maybe they did plan to have them meet up in s2 regardless (meet up AGAIN in this case since mat would've briefly met her already at fal dara in this version). who knows! it's so interesting to think about all the alternate possibilities, and so delightful to realize that for me personally, none of the alternate mat s2 ideas i've come up with in this post are things i enjoy as much as the version we actually got. saying that they made the best of a difficult unplanned situation is an understatement!

#bedwyrssong #answered #wot book spoilers

28 notes · View notes

tarithenurse · 1 year

Text

Safe haven

Fandom: MCU Pairing/starring: Natasha Romanoff & GN!reader Word count: 1157 Content: PTSD, references to childhood trauma (abusive parent, violence, alcoholism), panic attack, there’s a sort of fluff too. Hurt/comfort. A/N: “Coming back from their first mission, Reader has to deal with more than just the normal aftermath of the Avengers’ business.” This was kinda painful to write but also very cathartic. I hope you all find your Natasha if you haven’t already. Betaed by the lovely TanteFrutsel-CreativeNurse <3

Safe haven

You could already feel the anxiety stabbing at your heels as you hurried from the quinjet to your room. It had been a hard mission and things had gone wrong even though the overall trip had been a success.

Success.

It’s hard for you to think of it as that considering the destruction and violence you’ve not only witnessed but have helped dole out for the first time – sure, you know it came with the territory but apparently your training hasn’t prepared you fully for what it feels like to rip up in old wounds: one of the Hydra goons had had an uncanny resemblance to your so-called father. Although sober, the guy had been vicious, bearing down on you with...no, I won’t think about it. Not anymore.

As soon as you’re in your room, you strip out of the sweaty and dirty clothes, trying to ignore the flaky smudges that leave a reddish residue on your hands. Hands that are shaking. Angrily, you kick the clothes aside before turning to the bathroom, avoiding to look at the mirror image of a beat-up person with bags under the eyes.

The others had slept in the quinjet on the way home but whenever you closed your eyes, you saw Him. Maybe it’s the Hydra agent...maybe it’s the man who should have provided you a safe childhood but didn’t.

It’s not my fault, you chant silently as you turn on the water in your shower.

Not waiting for the spray to heat, goosebumps spread at the splash of cold along your skin that’s littered with tiny cuts and bumps. Well, some bigger than others. Absentmindedly, you poke at one of the welts along your side only to wince at the stinging pain from an underlying bent rib. You’ve had worse.

Eventually, the water changes, becoming scalding hot and you allow it to flow over you as you actively begin to scrub away the rest of the sweat, grime, and blood. Down the drain it goes, together with the last bit of restraint apparently, because you realize that you’re crying. Not full blown sobs but the silent constant dribble of tears that mix with the soap, making it sting a tiny bit in the abrasion on your cheek. You wipe at them angrily, barely managing to stop them.

Methodically, you finish washing and then drying, rubbing yourself raw with the towel while relishing the stinging pain. You think you’re doing quite well right until the moment where you open the closet and the darkness there throws you right back "home", sitting in your hiding spot and fearing the nights where your drunk father would get back, looking for someone to take his anger out on.

At that instant there’s a loud banging on the door that makes your heart rate quadruple.

“[Y/N]?” the voice is warped by memories that come surging.

The air sticks in your chest as if turned to molasses: thick, heavy, and difficult to expel or replenish, forcing you to breathe in laboured heaves. You’re vaguely aware of how tightly you cling to the nobs on the closet doors like a lifeline but it’s still not enough to keep you upright and next moment your legs give way. Landing hard on your knees, you don’t even register the pain it must have caused.

And there’s that knocking again. Insistent. Threatening even.

Scrambling, you crawl on all fours in between the hanging clothes, not caring about the shoes and boots beneath you. You know logically that there’s no danger and that instead this is one of your friends...but it’s as though your calm reasoning has been shoved into a little box in the corner of your brain where it’s held hostage by your panic. Fingers claw desperately at the edges of the doors, pulling them shut just as someone calls your name again.

Much closer.

Too close.

They’re in the room with you but you can’t quiet your breath enough to remain hidden and so the closet is opened once more, letting in the light to disband the darkness that had enveloped you like a soothing shroud. Blinking, you look up expecting to see your fathers face but to your surprise you see delicate features framed by fiery hair. Natasha.

“[Y/N]...honey...”

She doesn’t say anything else, just sits down on the floor outside your refuge and holds out a hand for you to take if you want to. You try to focus on the gentle gesture, the outstretched arm that waits patiently for you to make the first move.

“It’s alright...you’re safe now,” Nat coos at you.

How can she possibly mean that? But you find no sign of anger or disappointment in her voice. “I’m sorry,” you whimper nonetheless, eyes glued to her hand.

“It’s okay.”

She wiggles her fingers as if it could tempt you to grasp them...and it kinda does.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, alright?”

It sounds so simple the way she says it and you see your hand reach out for hers, gingerly settling in her light grasp. Years of therapy and it’s never sounded so true, so sincere, before but even so there’s a huge chunk of your heart that is horrified of someone witnessing your breakdown.

As if on cue, spurred on by this new concern, the molasses in your lungs turns to concrete and your throat constricts. The world begins to grow fuzzy at the edges and Natasha’s voice comes from far away as she calls for you to breathe, to focus on her which is an impossible task.

Natasha says something which you can’t pick up on before strong arms pull you out of your safe spot. But they don’t bring pain this time – instead they begin to stroke your back while she chants something. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s the rhythm of it that helps you force a bit of air in and out of your lungs. Not much, but it’s better than nothing and you can now hear her praise you for what you’re doing.

“That’s it, honey. Focus on the exhalation...slow and steady.”

You follow her guidance and breath after breath it gets easier and your logical thinking is gently unboxed until you are on the way to an exhausted calmness.

Slowly taking in your surroundings, you realize that you’re sitting butt-naked in Natasha’s lap. But she just cradles you in her arms as if it was the most normal thing.

Heat rises to your cheeks and your breathing picks up once more but Natasha will have nothing of it: “It’s okay, you have nothing to worry about, honey.” She looks you in your eyes for the first time, the grey full of understanding and pain that you never before realized was there. “You’ll be okay. I swear.”

And you believe her, allowing her to pull you closer to her chest to nuzzle in and drift away for a bit.

#natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #black widow #Natasha x you #natasha x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #x reader #x you #x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #hurt/comfort #natasha angst #natasha hurt/comfort #natasha feels

159 notes · View notes