#and just started today's reading rn
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quick sticky note doodle for towa’s bday !
#slow damage#slow damage towa#fanart#doodle#got slow damage on the brainnn#i just started chapter 2 and i’m trying to avoid spoilers but i wanna look up fanart already! i’m being so brave rn lmaoooo#i drew this on the book i’m reading during work break and i thought it was sort of a nice background#today was hectic man i just wanna sit down and read this fucked up visual novel for 12 hours!! is that too much to ask
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it probably wasn't the smartest decision to start an ongoing 1000+ chapter webnovel when i know it'll consume my every waking thought but here we are
open for better quality | no reposts
#turning novel#터닝#kishiar la orr#yuder aile#when i tell you i read the manhwa in one go last night and then started reading the novel today bc commenters said it was good#and my god were they right#i'm 40+ chapters in so i've just passed where the manhwa is at rn and wow#first of all thank god there are high quality and easily accessible translations#second of all kuyu-nim has a way of making all the lines carry weight. the dialogue and body language cues especially#like i'm definitely not that far in but there are already a few lines i can point out that made my heart clench#and the tension between the two leads is so so palpable#kishiar is very enigmatic i'm very interested in finding out what he's really thinking and what his abilities are#and i really appreciate the way yuder's development is focused on him caring about others and relying on them#ok and third the fact that it's a slow burn romance but focuses heavily on the plot and politics and relationships is so good#based on the tags this could have been very tropey but they didn't go that route and i'm glad for it#in other news i'm upset about how yuder came out but i have to post him bc i will not separate them ;;;#thought kishiar would be harder to draw bc he's pretty:tm: and i struggle drawing pretty boys but yuder put me through the wringer fr#anyway!! i love them very much!! going a little insane over them as you can see!!
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last line tag
tagged by @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz 💖💖
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It’s a good few weeks, and it feels like everyone’s back on track, settling into their lives again, figuring everything out one day at a time. Buck’s happy. He has his awesome girlfriend, his best friend seems finally more at ease, even if the divorce is adding some stress, and his other best friend is happier than ever with his mom around. Everything’s finally starting to go great.
And then it all gets disrupted again.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns
#the alive shannon fic#last line tag#buddie wip#buddie fic#wikiangela writes#my writing#fic snippet#clearly struggling to segue into the bombing lmao#my wips#skipped wip wednesday so have a lil line haha#thought id have the bombing written already but need to start getting ready for work so i guess writing's done for today lmao#i might be a little absent from the writing games in the next few weeks bc im just so exhausted lately lol#this scene I'm writing is so disjointed and out of order rn and i hate it i need to find more time to write it properly haha#but pls keep tagging me i love reading y'alls wonderful snippets!!#also what do we think shannon's job could be bc im trying to figure it out and have no clue lol#(also i have to actively remind myself of ali's existence and i can't wait until the break up so i don't have to anymore lmao)
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uhh there’s like 3 hours left b4 it ends buut happy trans day of visibility to one of the most t4t couples in media woo!!
#trans day of visibility#i’m ignoring canon they r both still together & happy & jesse is burning his trans gf’s breakfast rn#he can’t cook anything other than uhhhhhhhh#haha yeah#jane loves him 4 it anyway#today jesse let jane take him out to a new art museum cuz she’s been trying to broaden his tastes#but they had to compromise#jesse got to play limp bizkit in the car & jane hated it (he did it all for the nookie)#badger forgot that easter falls on different days every year & thought that every easter was trans day of visibility#cuz trans people hatched out of metaphorical shells like chickens (hope ur reading these tags bro this was directly inspired by you lmao)#& he was like “damn man#that’s hella smart thinking i’m surprised the church was so on board with that”#jesse is totally also letting jane design his next tattoo#trans headcanon#obsessed w/ the idea that jesse didn’t know jane was trans when they first started dating#& when jane posts abt trans day stuff#he’s just like “wow my gf is so supportive of her trans bf i’m so lucky”#question would walter be supportive yes or no#transgender#transmasc#transfem#transmasc headcanon#transfem headcanon#breaking bad#brba#jesse pinkman#jane margolis#jesse x jane#t4t
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new di x warrior cats
name explanations and more info below :3
basic stuff
-each agency is a clan, not each unit. 14-15 clans would be silly and then we would have some clans with 5 cats and some with 2.
-starpro -> lightclan. i couldn’t call them “starclan” for obvious reasons. light is somewhat synonymous with star, so i’m going with that.
-cospro -> nightclan. i don’t think the cats in warriors know the word “cosmic”, but cosmic implies cosmos implies night sky, so we’re going with night
-rhyth lin -> rippleclan. ripple is sort of a synonym to rhythm….? this one was hard
-new di -> fortuneclan. this one is a stretch but neither “new” or “dimension” have synonyms that really fit a clan name. fortune is something that relates to multiple characters in new di though
-starclan still sort of exists, but the cats do not believe in them the way they do in warriors. they are more of a nursery tale than anything, and select cats (ex: tatsumi) believe in them, but it is not written into their code. medicine cats can still interpret signs, but they do not necessarily think of them as coming from starclan.
-medicine cat forbidden romance is not a thing here
-intermingling of clans is ok and common
-there’s like. other cats in their clans besides just the enstars cast i assume
cat names/why i chose them
fortuneclan:
knights
-tsukasa -> scarletstar (scarletblossom) . he is the leader of fortuneclan because he is one of the new di reps for the summits. both scarlet and blossom were chosen bc of his last name (scarlet is a red color… kinda similar to cherry…. and blossom for the cherry blossom).
-leo -> lionheart. ok this one is kind of cheating because lionheart is already an existing warrior, but…come on….
-izumi -> silverspring. sora describes his color as silver, and spring is in his first name
-ritsu -> frostmoon. his first name means cold moon according to the wiki so i just rehashed it
-naru -> goldenroar. since she doesn’t like her first name i didn’t want to use “storm”, and her last name can be read as “thunder” but that’s a little too close to storm? so golden for her hair and roar for her last name
switch
-natsume -> sageeye. a sage is similar to a wizard, and eye is in his first name . also the “dovesong” mentioned is wataru :)
-tsumugi -> bluewing. he is a bluebird. warrior cats probably wouldn’t straight up call a cat “bluebird” so i put wing there instead. deputy cause he’s the vp
-sora -> skyspring . sora means sky. spring is in his last name. i could have used “stream” instead to differentiate him from sena but i think spring is cuter
mam/df
-madara -> tawnystripe . tawny bc it’s like kind of close to calico if you squint. stripe(s) is in his last name
#my art#enstars#ok so maybe we WOULD have 5 clans bc guess what was announced today#a new agency. and a new unit (or fucking 5? idk)#BUTWHATEVER#um i don’t know why i did this it was a joke at first but#then i started getting really into choosing names….#like originally it was just gonna be switch but then i was like hmmm… what if the agency is the clan#i’ve been reading so so much warrior cats i’m about to finish avos and then i’ll be caught back up to where i was#when i started this rereading journey last year#so like i have to apply it to my other interests#i’m proud of the names i chose i think they’re fun#yes leo’s is a cheat but idc#i hope someone else will appreciate this it’s mostly just me doing stuff for fun#i want to do the other units/agencies too but that might be a while cause yall this took#like a week . granted i’m busy rn but god damn picking designs for cats is hard!!#that’s why so many ended up being tabbies i just can’t resist they’re my favorites i’m definitely not biased#but also realistically tabby is a pretty common pattern so it’s fine#my fave design is naru’s btw i wanted to make her really pretty and i think i did ok#ok i’m going to bed bye#also forgot to mention i wanted to keep the names as close to canon warriors as i could so i had to find words similar to things that#the cats in warriors would know#sage is pushing it i don’t think they use sage in medicine . they def don’t know what a fortune is either but i don’t care
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I LIED!! MEMES ARE TODAY >:D
wow a lot of these are about jason lol
now to actually go to sleep, it's much too late for me to be up ily bye!!
MEMES ARE TODAY PEOPLE 🚨🙏🥳🎊🎉🙌
for chapter 9 of cetbwa
#cetbwa#danny phantom#dp dc#dp x dc#batman#literally just finished reading your comment and how you werent doing memes until later#which would have been absolutely fine please dont feel like you have to meme straight away on my account (you do have to meme tho haha)#and i go to put my phone down and see a tumblr notification with MEME TODAY lmao#ilysm bestie#i am very spoiled today thank you so much!!!!#these are fuxking quality too like holy shit - literal laugh out loud funny#the fucking jason office one had me in stitches its so funny#thats exactly the way jason is feeling rn - and i was so in two minds about how long to keep danny pretending to be damian for!!#like on the one hand its not exactly the right way to start off a relationship，but on the other hand.... it absolutely fits into the batfam#also i had this funny little phone text conversation thing mocked up between tim and jason that i was gonna put in the notes but rip me#i have no idea how to do that lmao i tried so hard and for so long but it just kept coming up blank 😔😔#it was gonna be like 'thanks for telling me he's identical i almost outed red hood!' and then tim would be like#'wow red hood's gay??'#it was funny#BUT NOT AS FUNNY AS THESE#oh fuck i made it big again by accident how do i keep doing that#oH FUCK I FORGOT TO TAG YOU AGAIN FUCK ME#tellmeabtspinos#the butterfly one 'is this a normal undead man?' because thats a sentence normal people say - danny has such a skewed view of normal lmao#also you very much are a psychic with your kitten drawing，apollo really socked you because next chapter 😽🥺#damn these are all so good like#hope you have a good sleep and thank you again so so much!!! love you bby you are incredible and funny and so so creative ilysm ❤️
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...So I may have went a little insane designing the MC from @psychopomp-enthusiast's Blade x Reader fic To Mourn The Living
Am I confident in my art skills? Lmao (No)
I am not rendering this (I did have an idea for the highlights but) it's 5 am oh god and if I don't go lie down right now I am not waking up tomorrow (Today at 8)
I tried to keep the design androgynous but well. Am Girl. So I am a little biased towards Reader being also Girl. I think I did ok tho
The first HSR fanart I've made and it's fanart of a fanfic. Typical me behaviour tbh
I did research for this for some reason like I stared really hard at a couple wiki tabs for a while (Haven't seen actual scales on either of our High Elders) and skimmed the fic again. The scales were specified to be silver?
While doing the aforementioned research I think I've crafted a theory? I somehow completely missed that there is more than one High Elder, like there are other ships that have their own High Elders too and like??? I'm making some connections??? Is this a "I've connected the dots" moment? Who knows.
I did think maybe the whole storms thing had something to with Jing Yuan and his Lighting-Wielding Thunder-Clapping Spirit-Squashing Lord (YESSSSS FIRST TRY BABY OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD) but the whole thing with black hair and evil vibes just felt off to me. AND THEN. Until I get a reply on this/the fic gets updated I won't say anything further, but ough. I am so normal about the media I consume guys
I kinda felt like putting the scale pattern on the outfit was a little OOC since MC was mentioned to not really follow Vidyadharan customs, but I also figured they were close to Bailu and have horns so? Maybe?
I gave MC blue hair because Ice type. I was gonna give them really long hair, but then again, not a High Elder. The hair was mentioned to obscure their horns underwater tho so I think some length is fine?
It was actually really hard to find physical descriptions of the MC? I mean for a fic like this, that's actually a good thing, it gives me more leeway to do whatever I want but also literally one of the reasons why I don't do fanart is because I wanna be accurate as possible (This is probably some kind of anxiety thing, idk)
#Eyes are still my favourite thing to design hehehe#I wanted to do some kind of snowflake pattern maybe with the lighting but oh god it's about to be 6 I need to go#Tfw reading things makes you want to draw#I need to pick better times to draw cause like once I actually do it I just zone out for a couple hours#I started at like 1#I think I am lowkey a little bit obsessed with this fic rn like it's not good#I mean it is a good fic tho#I literally have it on record that for like 3 days after I read TMTL it's literally just one full page of Blade x Reader stuff#If I get the ok on this I will maybe post it to Instagram#I actually only wanted to draw the underwater scene today but Things Happened so I'm going insane about this at 6 am instead. Such is life#Ok yeah seriously I needa go to bed now bye bye#sweetmountainseeds#Am I allowed to tag this?#To Mourn The Living#honkai star rail#hsr#Blade x Reader#My art
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...
#ayyy. today was a day.#i overslept and spent the 1st half of the day close to tears for no apparent reason#cried for a while in the garage where they keep the liquid nitrogen tanks and was incapable of reading anything at all#and this is y i have to start taking birth control. bc everything starts falling apart when my period hits. its fucking bullshit#it would b great if i had a normal working brain. i just dont want to deal with anything rn#i dont even wanna draw. i just want to dissolve into the ground. but noooo i have to find 2 papers to read for background info#bc theyre due Friday. and this weekend im gonna have to do a ton of reading bc i have a committee meeting Friday#its just frustrating. itll probably b fine but i wish it was different#unrelated
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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was hearing this weird ass chirping in my ear and went "must be birds or something" I FORGOT TO DISCONNECT MY EARPHONES FROM MY PHONE AND THEY DECIDED TO KEEP PLAYING THE ROTS NOVELIZATION THAT WAS JONATHAN DAVIS READING THAT SHIT ON 2X SPEED IT WASN'T BIRDS
#yael is reading star wars#rots novelization.#started it earlier today lmao#it's fine for me#i do not like the dooku characterization at alllllll#obi-wan's thing with droids is just straight up annoying#other than that. very ambitious book#i see the point and i see how you'll go for it#but rn i'm in my overly critical era (kind of obi-wan of me) so i'm not like#enjoying it a lot#it's a good novelization so far!#but yeah i'm on one of the first chapters so keep that in mind#we'll see
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long fucking rant about the joy of reading a good book. (not at all accurate title)
I just finished reading Felidae! incredible book I really love the story and- okay bear with me. I got the book a few years back because my mom mentioned reading it when she was younger. I told her I'd want to read it as well and she went through the painstaking process of finding it (which was not easy because the Author is a right fucking prick so his books aren't really sold anymore.)
so we found it on ebay eventually.( god knows I am not givin that author my money) I left it alone for a few years, had other shit to read and actually did not read much at all during that time...
right fast forward I decide I should read it because one of my terrible habits is starting thousands of things at once and never really finishing any of em. SO AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING! I read the first 3 pages or so n talked to my mom and brother about it shortly, saying I liked the way it was written, the characters, the exposition, etc etc- AND at the mention of the plot my brother goes "oh! I've heard of that! it's the book that some german studio made into that horrifying animated movie adaptation!" AND IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN
because I remember what he meant because you KNOW tiny me with unrestricted internet access had seen some clips of the gory , disturbing cat-movie before! and you know what? I was unfortunate (or maybe fortunate , seeing how I'm a massive horror fan now) enough to watch "Watership down" as a kid so when I saw Felidae being ranked even HIGHER than that movie in those "ooh horrofying disturbing kids movieees ooh" lists, I swore I'd never watch it..
and here we are, I read that boook so fast and it is actually incredibly entertaining (i also just have never read a "krimi" before so I definitely have a high appreciation for the genre now)
I am incredibly excited to watch the movie. JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH a 2D animated thriller-detective cat movie with horrorfying scenes and absurd amounts of gore??? COUNT ME IN
TL:DR : I realize that reading is fun if you actually have a good book to read and obsess over the story of a cat solving a series of cat murders
#I hate that this happens so often#where I find a great book or show and then the creator/author suck massive balls#looking at you jk rowling#either way I should read more good book. I had a lot of fun reading this one I should really read more Krimis#if anyone's got horror / thriller book recs feel free to throw em at me#please no stephen king tho I dislike how he writes (still forcing myself to read Cujo tho)#this is BY FAR the most incoerrent of my rambles#and since this is tumblr and I doubt I have anyone who wnat to read trough all of this#I am very much going to neglect checking my LRS in this#dyslexia is kicking my ass and today it is WINNING#pitskederdoenerhaendler#just. if kid me saw that I am actively deciding to watch this movie rn they would take me by the shoulders and shake me violently#I fuckiiiinggg love good books. I'll either continue reading Moby Dick where I left off or his majesties dragon (2) where I left of#you see I have a ton of started boosk#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I actually have to rewatch Skinamarink so I can rant about it here
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how unfortunate that i have two hyperfixations, several side interests, and a load of homework all clamoring at the same time for priority in my brain
#it’s so frustrating rn because yeah i do have to get some online coursework done so I don’t fail this class#but i ALSO want to relax before to go to bed#so what do i do?#(after i finish another module)#i could start heartstopper season 2 or i could make progress on the book i started today or i could watch a mission impossible movie#or i could watch a greta gerwig movie or i could start that tv show starring rebecca ferguson#there’s no WRONG choice but i want to do it all#& at the same time therefore this feeling that i have to watch things at the ‘right’ time in order to achieve maximum enjoyment#so like. that’s setting me back too because i want to reach maximum enjoyment for all these things#my gut feeling is to just start watching silo since i’m already obsessed with rebecca anyway#and if i watch mission i’d have to start from the first movie which she’s not in (until the fifth movie)#and i’ve been consuming so much alice oseman content lately i feel like i need to take a small break before i watch heartstopper s2#and my book… well i am in a rush to finish it because i have to get through all my library books before i move#but it could probably wait until tomorrow#idk maybe i’ll watch an episode of silo and then read a few chapters if i’m still awake enough#wow this is such a rambly post i’m so sorry#belle speaks
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inkheart vs inkspell/inkdeath is one of my favorite things to rant about but like.
in inkheart dustfinger refuses to dwell on what and who he's lost because the grief is making him insane so he doesn't tell us anything and all we get about the inkworld is hateful, unreliable snippets from capricorn and basta so you think, yeah, this man is kind of a lunatic to be willing to be so horrible and to suffer so much in return for the chance to return to so little.
then you get through the rest of the series and see how extremely loved dustfinger is by so many people and it paints the first book in such a different light that it makes me rabid knowing the majority of people just stop there. like most people have to just. believe basta of all people and never know that dustfinger is being grieved by the people who raised him and grew up with him and worked with him and chose him and whose nights were less dark just because he existed. I'd burn the skin off my hands too for that kind of love.
#cmiiw but the last one is specifically for mina talking to resa about watching him perform when she was little#i think it was mina?#hm#but like im stabbing knives into both of my eyes bc basta really has been groomed into caring for no one but capricorn#he cant even fathom the love and loyalty of two little boys who decided fate brought them together bc their names both start with n#but if you only read inkheart you ALSO dont understand AHHHHHHHHHGHHHH#theres SO MUCH to miss out on how do i convince everyone on the planet to finish the series#ksjdjskka this post is brought to you by inkheart having 400k ratings on goodreads while inkdeath has 80k#im fine im so normal rn im fine it's fine#says kenna#should i keep reading im very distracted today or should i watch that movie with michelle yeoh that just won everything#OR the green knight. been wanting to see that for years. dev patel in it is exactly how i picture verity farseer so i could go for swooning#inkheart
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spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually
#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like#despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i#i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety#and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn#& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id#probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more#if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i#didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions#to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all#like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment#& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles#anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah
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Ughhhhhhh
#my shift starts in 9 mins (im in my car rn) and my period just started like an hr ago and the cramps are bad (as usual) and the ibuprofen is#NOT kicking in (again) and just ughhhhhhhhhhhh#i start pills tomorrow that should help but that doesn't do anything today#also this is the ONE (1) day this week i have to work at all. typical#im gonna hope were not busy and the cramps go away and i can just sit there reading comics the whole tims#gotta go in now bye#🤢🤢🤢#blah
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I keep finding it so uncomfortable when people differentiate between women and men in my surroundings, and assume that some people are men and some are women. It's uncomfortable both because what if someone doesn't identify with whatever gender they may look like, and because why is it an important distinction in the first place?
Granted, there may be circumstances where it's relevant, but for context let me list some examples of what I mean. These are examples that I've experienced in the recent weeks:
When playing a game that requires two teams, someone suggested that the women should play against the men, and then when this ended up being the case, regular jokes were being made related to gender whenever someone made a bad play
At lunch, someone said "looks like we're all women here today"
Whenever someone who presents as a man has done something stupid or whatever (whether a celebrity or just a regular person), it's common for people to tie that stupidity to the fact that the person is "a man". This seems like a tactic that's sometimes used in order to gain social benefit with women. For example, ending a story about something stupid someone did by going, "ugh, men"
It's also common to hear people mention someone's gender in a story they're telling as though the gender is relevant to the story, when usually it really isn't relevant at all. For example, "... and then she did X and Y, which isn't strange at all because she's a woman, and then he said Z ..."
I know these are innocent things people do and say, and they likely aren't even aware that it can be uncomfortable for some people. Maybe for people who strongly identify as either gender it can even be affirming to have people say these things. I just wish I knew a good way to say that it's making me uncomfortable without having it become a big thing or making them think I'm overreacting
#part of it is definitely because I'm starting to think that the distinction is useless in most contexts#But I'm also wondering what this says about my own gender identity#I still haven't figured out whether I do identify as some variant of nb or not#It might honestly just be that I'm uncomfortable about being lumped into a group based on a factor I deem irrelevant#But idk? I wish it was easy to figure out my own identity. Sigh#Maybe I just want to be part of a group without having to be arbitrarily lumped in with others based on how I look#I'm reading a book rn btw which takes place in a future where gender identity is never assumed#Whenever a new person is introduced the they/them pronouns are used until that person's specific gender identity is presented#The author describes people based on aspects of their appearance but the gender identity doesn't always correlate with appearance#So appearances that today are commonly viewed as 'male' or 'female' do not always correlate with people's actual gender identity#And it's deemed disrespectful to assume gender identity when it's not been confirmed yet#I haven't read very far yet but there's been one scene where a person did assume someone's gender identity#And it was presented in the book as 'wow this person is an asshole who assumes gender identity in order to insult me'#I think it's so refreshing to read#The book is called The Spare Man. Written by Mary Robinette Kowal#Anyway gender norms are annoying 😔#nagnerd#Genndar
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