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#and its forever but really just a couple hours
laviejaguardia · 3 months
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Thinking about kid Syd and kid Carmy spending an afternoon neither of them remember anymore playing under the tables of The Beef
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glitchdollmemoria · 11 months
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yknow the cool thing about having a ptsd induced bad dream is it gives me more motivation to go watch cozy movies and eat comfort food til i feel better
#after spending an hour in bed scrolling through tumblr waiting for my muscles to power on ofc#anyway little vent abt that ahead#no one has to read this ofc its really mostly just me working through it and processing it yknow#had a dream i was still involved with a couple people who are now gone from my life hopefully forever#also still dating my gf though? but he wasnt there :(#and we were in a uhaul or smth and were driving around and i felt very Uneasy#and like. i was actively in a flare up in that dream so the brain fog was making it harder to think clearly#so i felt very dumb the whole time#and so we drove through this like... pathway? with tall dark plants on either side#some kind of overgrown decorative shrubbery#and we were just chatting and i was trying to pretend i didnt feel uneasy#and then we came to this plant archway but the way was blocked by a bush about waist high#which. i have some particular feelings about that imagery. but idk if i wanna say it cus maybe im just being schizo#anyway we got out of the truck and left it there to go to the little restaurant cafe place we could see on the other side#and once we were inside we realized it was very clearly run by and for the jewish community which made me feel a bit better#so we sat at one table for a while i guess just to wait? then moved upstairs to another table to actually eat#and one of the people i was with started arguing with me and insulting me while the other one just kinda let him#bc he was like mad that i didnt tell him when to say a certain thing in a prayer i guess even though it was written on a thing on the table#and even though i was brainfoggy as hell and didnt know to expect that and he couldve looked himself and it DID NOT MATTER...#so i threw a metal thing holding the piece of paper at his head.#it kinda just bounced off him but then i walked off and he followed me and started beating me up lol#i woke up right as he started throwing punches. i think people were about to step in though#the weird thing is i think at the beginning of the dream i was ONLY with my current gf#idk how to word it but like. these other two just kinda barged right into the dream#anyway that dream is def Up There among dreams that i feel might have some deeper meaning but also not the MOST Up There#might delete later also bc The Paranoia#anyway! claps! time to watch old pokemon movies and eat pancakes
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mmyneonlights · 16 days
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i think i need to eat a fucking bullet
#was sad and my boy assumed it was because he didnt want to fuck me#now. to be fair. its something i get insecure about and i was coming on to him. but it kind of hurt that he saw me upset and jumped to#not only it being about that but also that i was angry at him for it. and he got defensive and seemed so pissed at me#and saying 'its not *my* fault im just tired'#which is true but like. dude. i know. its nice but idc if we fuck.#it just really hurt my feelings he assumed that.#and i just got kinda quiet so he asked what was wrong and i#was struggling to talk about it because it takes me forever to process my feelings on things#and i said i had to go to the bathroom so i could go have a think#but he stopped me and said 'please talk to me' so i was like okay. i gotta say something#and i started and stopped a couple times trying to figure it out and he just said 'nevermind' and went to sleep.#he sounded so fucking disgusted with me.#and i started bawling and said sorry and weny to the bathroom.#and he just stayed in bed#hes asleep now.#im shut in the bathroom trying so hard to calm down but i cant stop sobbing and i feel like im going to throw up#i get that hes tired#but id been saying we should go to bed for hours and he wanted to stay up and watch a movie#and no matter how tired he is acting like that isnt fucking okay#im so angry and hurt and sad and scared and i dont know what to do#and hes fucking sleeping#i literally dont know what to do i cant sleep by him but im too upset to be safe going anywhere else i will crash my fucking car if i try to#drive somewhere. and i dont have anybody else. i dont have anyone except him#i dont have anyone except him to turn to#and he saw that i was hurt and got mad at me then went to sleep
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snowflop · 5 months
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I forgot YouTube has a recap feature, yippee! I love music :)
#i'm a little confused how Mori still got top artists this year i really didn't think i listened to her that much this year?#her last album was... not for me lets say. i guess i did listen to Unalive a lot. Resting Power is a genuine banger#you know what else is a banger? Lone Alpha's album Virtual Paradise steaming now on all platforms go listen to it it's so good#(shameless plug because i was on top 1% of their listeners and thats a travesty. everyone should listen to them they're incredible)#all my top tracks were songs i got stuck on and listened to for literally hours on loop#I played my number one track 88 times. i like it :)#here's a link because i dunno if it'll come up from the auto translated title -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAmA3w4lVAY#is it the best song in the world? no. it's a pretty typical piece of idol music. but its very dear to me.#i'm not even familiar with the vtuber who sings it. it just tumbled across my recommendations one day and stuck with me#the rest of my top tracks are like genuinely good. those are complete recommendations from me -w-)b#the second one a kinda ancient cover by Rachie. i've been listening to that sing since i was a teenage lol#i've just been feeling it this year i guess. i got stuck on it for a couple weeks and just kept looping back to it#the third one is Thai which was cool. i haven't heard a lot of songs in that language but it's really lovely#actually i'll link that one to 'cause if you're not familiar it might be hard to find -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S5b1lbWyUU#all the singers on it are great. i really like Schneider's Thai covers of other songs#and like. every single cover i've heard from Dacapo has been PHENOMENAL he's great#the last 2 are Paradox Live songs. I fucking love Amprule. Yeon Dongha number one forever#this is already to long but i wanna talk about Kessoku Band to. I still haven't watched Bochii (<fake anime fan) but the OST is NEXT LEVEL#every single song is just so <3<3 ''If i could be a constellation'' is just THE best. every song on the album is good.#you can ignore the rest of my recommendations but this album is just objectively good.#link -> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mNWkxcU6VC_aWOFnpqYha-J5UMzwbVlx4#EDIT: i'm coming back to edit this days later because oh. fucking DUH. Sinderella end of last year/start of this year. i fucking forgot.#JIGOKU 6 was not really my favourite. i liked a couple songs but some of the others weren't for me#(which i could say about Sinderlla to i guess but since it's got more songs i feel more positively about as a whole)#anyway. i didn't go that hard on Jigoku and since that the most recent one i was just like hm? what Mori did I listen to?#it was Sinderella from last year. I listened to that one A LOT.#Wanted -Wasted is just so good it carries the whole album for me. it even compensates for Internet Brain Rot lmao#snow blogging#music recs
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sleepyjim · 5 months
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first night without taking benadryl to sleep and Uh its bad again what the fuck man context and also giant rant in da tags
#basically for several weeks before leo benadryl era(tm) i could not sleep at all for many days at a time i was just Not Tired At All#and my sleep schedule was so fucked up and bad and terrible i would sleep for a whole day then go many days without sleeping over and over#And It was Bad so like last week i got sick of it and took like a billion shots of benadryl juice(tm) and Slept and it waswonderful#so ive been doing that every night since then and ive gone to sleep at 10 and woken up at 8 every day and world was so beautiful forever#cept like four days into leo benadryl era i figured i had gotten into a routine so i Did Not take anything that night and#didn't feel tired. At All . ruined everything for a whole day#so i continued#but now we're out of benadryl cause ive drank it all#and im not allowed to buy it myself cause its a drug#and i cant tell my mom cause she doesnt understand#and im like . Stuck Now lmao i really really dont want everything to suck again i was doing so well this past couple days#its 2 am an im not even sleepy and if i dont sleep tonight then i will during the day and then everything will get fucked up bad again#idk!!!!!!#i dont know what to do man#i think i either got like too uh relying on the benadryl maybe or perhaps theres Sonething Wrong With Me#while we were in the RV i was scared for like a day thatmy body just straight up forgor how to sleep#and idk if that's actually possible but . :/#i have to go to a thing with my mom tomorrow too so im sposed to get up along with everyone .at like 6 in the morning and so i have#like 3 or 4 hours to sleep and im so Eugh man cause thats like a third of the amount of time a sleep i need to function#i am suffering !!#i cant even sleep if i tried tho Fuck my baka life forever#anyways#text#jason rambles
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theapangea · 11 months
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I actually posted about this but I thought a fun dynamic to play with for lip and his girlfriend would be lip and a non drinker. Shes like the designated driver caregiver and the gallaghers love her because after parties they all magically wake up in their beds and lip just really values her more than life, like hes so in love its insane
A million times yes to this!! I love the idea of soft!Lip. Hope you love it!!
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Soft 4 You
Lip Gallagher x reader
A/N: This is told from Lip's perspective which I think just lets us get into his head and how he feels about you. If you see any mistakes, no you didn't.
~~~
Summer in the Southside means two things - sweating your ass off during the day and partying until you black out at night. For Lip, the getting drunk off of your ass was all part of the fun, especially when he knew you were around to make sure he got home safely. 
The events of last night quickly fade away as the sunshine peeks through the makeshift curtain pinned to the wall. The whipping sound from the fan turns into a high pitch ring causing Lip to groan. His heartbeat pounding right behind his eyes as the beginning of a headache settles in. 
The feeling of his brain wanting to burst out of his skull makes him grab his pillow, placing it over his face, half covering himself from the sun and the other half suggesting that maybe death is a better way to deal with this hangover. His arm stretches out to feel around the bed, but it's empty, the presence of you long gone on this painful morning, if you could still call it morning. 
Pushing on the pillow more, the pressure lightly helping with the deadly headache. Squeezing his eyes tighter as the image of you begins to form inside his eyelids. Your smile, your voice, your laughter dancing around Lip’s head, the only solace from the raging migraine.
He wants to live inside his mind forever. The memories playfully swirl through his head as a warm, fuzzy feeling brews inside his chest. His heart beats faster just by thinking of you, the way you brighten a room, how you carry yourself, selflessly putting others before you. Caring for his siblings as if they are your own, stepping up to take the responsibility of the household on your shoulders. 
Since Lip met you, he has promised himself that he will become a better man for you. Become the partner that you deserve, striving everyday to do so. Lip wants you to have the world, hoping one day he can be the one to give it to you. 
Lip is so helplessly in love with you that he definitely doesn’t mind the fall.
The cotton mouth is too much to handle as he just lays there in his own sweat. He thinks if he waits here long enough that at some point you will show up, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, fingers rubbing over his chest, your sweet scent engulfing his nose. But sadly he can’t wait that long.
Groaning as he lifts himself onto his elbows, blinking a couple of times as his surroundings become clear, the headache throbbing more with every move. His eyes trailing along the room before seeing the tall glass of water that sits on the dresser. Smacking his lips a couple of times as he wants nothing more than to drink something. 
Pushing himself up, a small puddle of sweat lay underneath as he scoots to the edge, the bedsheet sticking to his legs as he fumbles to stand up. Using the dresser as leverage so he doesn’t fall.
The faint hint of a smile appears as he comes face to face with the water and next to it, two Advil and a little note that says ‘take these’ signed with a heart in the corner and your initial. His heart skips a beat as his fingers trace over your delicate handwriting. Barely being able to think straight because of the hangover and now you got his mind racing a million miles an hour with your love. 
Quickly raking a hand through his hair before swallowing the pills and chugging the water. Closing his eyes to allow the medicine to relieve some of his pain, knowing it will take longer than a couple of seconds. 
Tripping over himself as he pulls on a pair of jeans. Leaving his room to wobble down the hallway and descend down the stairs to the kitchen. The sound of chatter and laughter fill Lip’s head, wishing the happy sounds weren’t causing his head to pound more. Finally stopping on the bottom step as he observes the scene in front of him. 
Deb’s and Carl’s laughter fill the small room as you are telling a funny story. Your voice erupts louder as the punchline comes, sending them into fits of laughter. Their faces tell how much they enjoy having you around, the way you bring a sort of calmness to the house. Turning it into a home.
The kitchen is a bit of a mess as the grand breakfast you made - pancakes, eggs, bacon - sits on top of the stove. The dining table is messy as Lip can tell you just finished eating. Taking your time with his siblings to bond with them and get to know them on a deeper level. 
He couldn’t love you any more than in this exact moment. Without you knowing he was around. 
Lip gets pulled from his thoughts when Ian comes racing down the stairs behind him, patting Lip on the shoulder while he passes by. Prompting you to turn towards them both, a huge smile forming on your face, the kind where your eyes grow smaller and your cheeks grow bigger.
And God did that damn smile light a fire inside of him that he will let burn forever.
~~~
what did you think ??? thank you for reading !
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reallyromealone · 19 days
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this may be insane but Bonten takes their omega out for vacation accompanied by they're pups, each member having their own pup so that'd be like 8 pups in total😅
Title: vacation nightmares
Fandom: Tokyo revengers
Pairing: Bonten x reader
Warnings: reader insert, male reader, omegaverse, Omega ready, mpreg, angst, Bonten sucks, shitty husnands
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
(name) LOVED his pups, he really did... But he was hoping for a vacation without his little army.
(Name) With the help of two nanny's and his husband's when they got home, took care of right pups, all ranging from five to infancy and it was taking a toll on him. His husband's worked long and hard to care for them and he loved that they worked hard to provide and when he was told they would be going on vacation, he was excited to have a break.
When they spoke of having children, they promised to be there for him and even help alternate since there were going to be right children but here (name) was, making sure his pups went to bed instead of going to do fun resort things with his mates because he had a ten month old and toddlers, wanting to cry a bit from the stress.
Thankfully the pups had their own connected room so (name) could collapse on the bed, feeling like he was drowning and he felt ugly and god! When was the last time his mates touched him!
When they came home in the dead of night or on the rare occasions at a reasonable hour, they were either exhausted or dad mode or both! The occasional kiss on the cheek but (name) hadn't felt loved in forever!
The Bonten men noticed (name) was distant during the vacation, during family adventures and such he seemed like he was drifting further away as the kids pulled for his attention.
When they got home, (name) was robotic as he walked to the bedroom and locked it before plopping on the bed and falling asleep, the smell of distress pungent in that part of the house as he slept for 13 hours.
"So let me get this straightened out, you guys told your over worked Omega that you were taking him on vacation to a resort that's famous for its couples activities and you brought the children be is watching 24 seven instead of having your nannies watch them and letting your omega unwind yet you are asking me why (name)s mad" Emma said over the phone as Mikey called her, (name) refusing to open the door "we thought it would be fun for the family!" Sanzu grumbled and Emma sighed over the phone at their lack of understanding.
"(Name) Rarely has a moment alone, he can't even pee by himself and you guys are rarely home! Do you know what toll that takes on a person! Theirs eight of you and yet you guys never considered taking the reigns and just letting (name) go do things by himself! Or just did things as adults!" Emma scolded them and the men eventually ended the call, thinking about it... When was the last time they gave (name) some proper loving?
Like outside of a heat?
... Holy shit it had been almost two years.
They hadn't had sex with him since their youngest was conceived.
(Name) Knew he had to go out there eventually but curled into the blankets and the exhausted expression and tear stained face spoke another story, he knew his pups were in capable hands with the nannies and questionable hands unfortunately with their father's whom he did not want to see at the moment.
He was just so done.
Just once...
He wanted a break.
Instead he felt like a single parent despite being mates to not one but eight alphas!
He felt like some 50's Omega and he hated it.
It wasn't until the following day that (name) stepped out of the room, the lack of child sounds or cartoons worried him as he went to look for his pups only to see his mates looking stressed and worried "where are the children?" (Name) Asked softly as their heads snapped up "baby! Your up! The kids are with the nannies, they're going to be with Emma and Draken for the day" ran said softly as he went up to the Omega who nodded as he looks at the for once spotless house "can we talk?" Koko asked softly and (name) sighed before nodding, better face this.
"We fucked up" kakucho said simply and (name) just stared "I just... Why do you guys only care for the kids when it's the fun stuff? Why do you guys not clean their puke-- I'm constantly CONSTANTLY with the children all the time and you guys promised! You promised to help! You guys said you would take turns being here to help and you lied! You're never home and I hate it! I feel like a single parent get im mated!" He said crying uncontrollably, curling into himself "you guys don't even look at me anymore! I know pregnancy fucked up my body but can you be a little less obvious!"
Fuck.
They really fucked up, like holy shit.
"You think we don't find you attractive?" Mochi whispered as the alphas crowded the Omega "baby, we fucking suck... Fuck we didn't even realize we were doing this" Rindō said genuinely as Mikey went to hold him "please don't, I'm sorry but I am constantly being touched or holding a tiny person and I am deeply overwhelmed especially because I just spent a week watching our children while you guys had fun-- by the way never do that to me again" (name) seethed out "you took me on a vacation and had me be the sole watcher while you guys got tanked" it would take a long time for (name) to get over this one.
"You haven't taken me on a date in over a year and yet you fucks went partying on a family vacation yet I babysat our children! Seriously what the fuck is wrong you guys!"
"Yeah, that wasn't our shining moment" takeomi said honestly and (name) scoffed "we will be better, we are so fucking sorry" Koko said genuinely and (name) just stared "I'll believe it when I see it"
Who would have thought a family vacation would have eight men sleeping in the guest rooms.
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yok00k · 5 months
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LOVE.
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pairing: pinkcoquette/Sanriolover!oc x bf!jk
genre: fluff, smut
“Sippin' bubbly, feelin' lovely”
Synopsis: you wanted to try the “pink coquette core” on your boyfriend and your poor sleepy dog
warnings: brief SMUT at the end, oc is desperate, clingy, and be waking everyone up @ midnight in the name of coquette core💀, too much love in the air, mention of jk only in his sweatpants, dirty thoughts, (pink bow should have its own warning too imo)
Author’s note: this is my very first work/drabble ^o^ I was mainly inspired by these outta pocket ‘coquette core’ videos on tiktok and it made me think about my man jungkook and my son bam (this is unedited & will probably stay that way, I just write for my own sanity)
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆
Pleaseeee my kookie? I promise it will be quick” I desperately pleaded to him as I straddled him on the couch. I showered his entire head with plenty of my sweet kisses, trying to convince him to do a foolish video that’s quite trending today. The only response I got are his arms snaking around my lower waist while he continues to watch his tv show, Bloodhound.
Early this morning, I was scrolling on my ‘for you’ page and saw a bunch of pretty and pleasing coquette videos. Essentially, pink bows were wrapped around the daintiest [and most random] stuffs including ramen cup noodles, lip oil, or even a rose toy. Do I get the pattern of the coquette trend? Absolutely not. But one certain thing I’m sure of is that I will wrap a tiny baby pink bow around my boyfriend. And it will happen no matter what it takes.
Since offering him with plenty of affection doesn’t seem to work, I had to go down with my last technique. “I will grant you three wishes if you let me do it” I whispered softly to his ear. Immediately, he grabbed the remote to pause the show that he was so focused on .
“Anything?” Jungkook eagerly asked, two round, shining dark eyes gaze upon me as they search for assurance in my words. “Anything” I guarantee, kissing his pretty nose before getting off his lap.
―୨୧⋆ ˚
“koo stay still” I complained while giggling at the sight of him attempting to awkwardly stand still with a flimsy ribbon flimsy bow that looped around his torso and veiny arms.
‘How cute’ I thought.
While trying to capture videos and a couple of photos of him, I can’t help but to flash a grin. Small things like this really make my heart so full. Spending a solid quality time with him, even if it’s doing something nonsense is a memory I will forever value.
“So cute” I mumbled, staring at my phone as I went through the images I took seconds ago.
After a minute or two, Jungkook, who’s still standing, took a loud, deep breath.
“baby are we done yet?” he whined. “Oh my bad kookie” I rushed to turn off my phone to finally give my undivided attention to him. The ribbon tied around him got unfasten by me. Finally, he can breathe freely again.
―୨୧⋆ ˚
It was midnight when out of nowhere, another light bulb popped out of my brain on what (or who) to use the notorious pink decoration for. And in this case, I won’t be able to sleep unless I accomplish the sudden idea. Somehow, I managed to escape from Jungkook’s arms securely holding onto my waist. I quickly grab two pink short strips and head to the living room. The entire apartment was filled by silence and darkness therefore I turned the mini lampshade in the corner, causing Bam to wake up and immediately have his guards up. When he recognized that it was just me, he put his head down on the floor while holding a gaze on me as if he’s questioning ‘why is she bothering me at this hour?’
“I’m sorry for waking you up this hour bammie, mama just needs to do something real quick ok?” I gently explained to the Doberman. It didn’t take me so much time to delicately tie a not-so-tight bow around his both ears. What took time was taking good pictures of him for the reasons that he’s moving too much and doesn't know what on earth is going on.
“Look at mami bam” I whispered, snapping my fingers to get his attention to look in the camera. The poor dog keeps moving his head, figuring out the thing around his ears are for.
“Baby what are you doing?” an abrupt voice spoke behind me.
Shit. Turning my body around, I got a glance at the half lidded eyes filled with pure curiosity. As I examined his tall and muscular physique, I also didn’t fail to notice that he was only wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants. And when I say only, I meant only so don’t ask me for any color of something.
The things that my mind urges me to do.
―୨୧⋆ ˚
I dropped my knees in front of him, left hand wrapped in his upper leg while the other hand softly palmed his growing tent. I looked into his eyes as I gave his clothed cock few pecks, teasing him. Instantly he gave me a nod before throwing his head back, gesturing to me to keep on going.
I wasted no time and pulled down his sweatpants till an angry, hard cock that slapped his bottom abdomen was released from being suffocated. It’s too pretty, so desperate to be touched. Using my small grip, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, directing it right to my drooling mouth. I gifted his pink mushroom tip kitty licks, then proceeded to gradually bob my head up and down greedily to his cock as if he’s my last meal.
“mmh.. so good baby” jungkook shamelessly groans, the cold room is filled with nothing but dirty, loud moans. The noises motivated me to go on and also to do the best I can to make him feel good.
―୨୧⋆ ˚
“___, you still with me?” he asked again, bringing me out in reality from the filthy thoughts that've been going around the back of my head.
“yeah.. I was just trying the ribbon on Bam” I responded breathlessly as my gaze returned to his beautiful eyes. I just smiled, as if I wasn’t imagining an obscene scene with him a few seconds ago. “let’s go to sleep” I announced as I got up from the ground.
and before we sleep, I made sure to turn my little cute scenario into reality.
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 2 months
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ROMANTIC SYNASTRY PT. 2
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Moon/Mercury Synastry - Deep bond with communication. A need to express what one is thinking. Telepathy. Emotional outbursts can be soothed between the two of you. Wanting to talk each others head off til you fall asleep. Could stay on the phone forever.
Saturn/Venus Synastry - A bond that can stick like glue. Maturing together. Growing old. Lifetime commitments. Foundations created out of traditions, beliefs standing on a certain background for stability. A love like the 50's movies.
Sun/Uranus Synastry - A shocking taste. Could be a unique couple, something different about you to but its great. Surprising experiences when together. One or both of you are really different, and out of each others comfort zone.
Jupiter/Asc - A natural liking to each other. Its sweet, its pure, and both of you tend to get along just fine. A favorable aspect. Can talk for hours about anything. Learning something new, traveling together. Soul mate connection.
Moon/Moon - Connecting to the emotions can be a pleasing experience. One on one time. Caring, nurturing, bond. Dark thoughts and things kept from the light can come up to the surface naturally, but makes it so that you guys can heal and nurture it instead of running. Flowy, loving energy. Very soft, very sweet, and divine.
Chiron/Venus - A love like prince charming and cinderella. A love that comes with a deep lesson but a spiritual bond that triumphs through illusions with grace. Defying gravity. Whats unrealistic to others is real to you. Pain meets beauty, and you guys went through it well healing each other in the process.
Neptune/Sun - A dreamy love filled with illusions. 'Hello, are you there?' A love that can touch the spiritual realms, a love that cannot be defined but deeply felt. The energy between you two can be incredible. A passionate, alluring love that touches you.
Pluto/Sun - Transformative love. A divine union that goes against the grain. A pain in the ass til the roots come out, the energy is defined in a way that touches the soil of the unconscious mind. The trauma that came with the past is processed into a healing journey through this divine love. You will never be the same after coming across each other.
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mysunshinetemptress · 2 months
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Pretty Girls
Leah Williamson x reader
Warnings: Angst, alluding to smut but no smut
Leah can't believe what's happening to her right now, its a dream she's had over and over again since you joined Arsenal a couple of years ago, immediately both hitting it off and becoming best friends, but right now you where both sat in a booth in the back of a club in London pressed closely together as you talked only she had just realised your hand resting on her thigh leaning closer to talk into her ear. Leah refused to move scared that if she did the world around her would fade and she would awaken back in her apartment cursing herself for thinking of you like this.
You looked towards the dance floor at your teammates happily dancing to the music before turning back to Leah, you where far from sober and barley teetering on the edge of tipsy and drunk, so Leah knew that whatever this was, whatever was happening must only be because you where close to if not drunk right?.
Leah’s breath hitched as your hand moved up her leg until you reached her crotch your thumb playing with the zipper line of her suit trousers before turning her head to meet your eyes as you hummed “you know if I was ever going to get with a girl, I’d want you Le.” Leah swallowed thickly “really.” You nodded as your hand continued its actions “only you, no one else you just.” You trailed off as Leah stared at you barely able to speak but she knew she had to say something “Y/n, Evan.” You giggled inching towards her mouth resting on her ear “He wouldn’t mind Le.” Leah felt her stomach form a knot, she shouldn’t be flattered your comment but she was, she had wanted you for so long and right now this was the closest she was going to get. Leah grabbed your hand from between her legs “how about we get out of here then pretty girl.” You nodded enthusiastically shouting goodbye to your friends as you grabbed Leah’s hand and pulled her out to the taxi rank before wrapping your arms around her and leaning your head into her neck placing delicate kisses here and there before finding her pulse point and sucking hard, Leah grabbed the back of your head as she stumbled from the force of your body pulling her impossible closer as she couldn’t help but let out a soft moan from the feeling of your lips on her neck.
The taxi back to Leah’s felt like it took hours as you continued assaulting her neck and running your hand up her thighs as she held you trying to avoid the gaze from the taxi man. As soon as Leah closed the door you moved to her mouth pulling her into a passionate kiss, one that she had been dreaming about for forever, but the voice in the back of her head screamed again “Y/n, Evan, what about Evan.” You shook your head placing your hands on either side of her face “please, Le I want to, I want to do this I want you to please.” Leah sighed shaking her head “if she was ever going to get the chance to have her “straight” best friend it seemed like it would be tonight “ok, pretty girl you got me ok.” You smiled pulling her in for another kiss as you tugged at your jacket and Leah nodded pulling it off before pulling you to her bedroom.
Leah woke the next morning to an empty bed, sighing she looked around the room before she heard a thump from the bathroom “Bollox.” Leah smiled happily to herself, you hadn’t left maybe you enjoyed your night, maybe you where about to walk out of the bathroom and climb back into bed with her and this time tell her soberly how much you wanted her, how in love you where with her like you had the night before. Only you exit the bathroom fully dressed typing on your phone before looking up Leah and smiling “hey sleepy head, thanks for letting me crash here last night.” Leah looked at you puzzled “eh.” You walked over kissing her cheek “right Evan’s downstairs waiting for me, I’ll see you later pretty girl.” Leah could only stare at you as you walked out of her bedroom and then her apartment, how could you act like nothing happened last night, sure you where drunk but Leah remembers both of you falling asleep naked and leaving multiple marks across your chest, right? It wasn’t a dream was it?? No it couldn’t have been it felt so real last night, you felt so real last night.
Leah was sat in Wallys house both of them sitting at the kitchen table tea in hand as she recited the previous nights events to the Swiss captain “wait I thought Y/n was straight, I mean her and Evan have been together for years.” Leah shrugged “so did I, but Wally she kept reassuring me all last night it’s what she wanted, I she told be she’s wanted it since we met and I told her the same. I just feel so stupid of course it was a drunk fling and I don’t know I guess I just got my hopes up over some pretty girl.” Lia grabbed Leah’s hand “I’m sorry Le.”
You were pacing around your apartment as Alessia tried to get you to calm down “I don’t see the problem here Y/n/n.” You ran your hand through your hair “I cheated on Evan, with Leah, my best friend Leah our teammate, and that’s not even the worst part, I woke up this morning and pretended like nothing happened and left.” Alessia watched worried as you continued to pace “ ok so tell Evan, he’ll forgive you and then apologise to Leah and continue on with your life.” You stopped looking at Alessia “Less, I.” Alessia looked at you shocked “oh my god you, you don’t want to forget about it, you liked it didn’t you.” You felt tears prick your eyes “ I love her..I think I’ve known I loved her as more than a friend for awhile now I mean, my heart I can’t control it it scares me I feel like it might explode every time I’m around her but, I love Evan. Right? I mean we have been together since I was 19, he looks after me doesn’t treat me like shit and he’s just a really great guy, this would break his heart Less and I don’t want to do that either.” Alessia looked at you sadly “I’m afraid no matter what you do Y/n you’re going to break someone’s heart, and by the looks of it your own will be in that mix.” You sat down on the table grabbing her hand. “What if I don’t tell Evan, and I just keep pretending like it never happened with Le…I don’t see any other way to do this I can’t break up with him he’s to good and Le oh god Le she doesn’t deserve this I don’t deserve her as a friend I would never be good enough for her anyway, please don’t tell anyone less.” Alessia looked at you heartbroken “Y/n.” You squeezed her hand “please for me I can’t break such a pretty girls heart.”
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wileys-russo · 5 months
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alanna kennedy req, she has BIG bf energy ! where AK has been way too fuckboy-esque around their friends and reader (who she is in a known situationship with/will they or won’t they ever label it) calls her out on it, and probs forgives in the end whatever she says (letting hot girls gaslight you support club ?)
dirty little secret II a.kennedy x reader
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mhmm lans is mad underrated dirty little secret II a.kennedy x reader
"-then there's the girl from the bar, the coffee shop barista, the dance instructor, the physio-" you rolled your eyes and did your best to tune out the blondes insistent bragging of all of her current escapades.
escapades you knew she'd made up, lying her ass off in order to try and impress your team mates and friends in camp, everyone now back on national duties.
she was forever determined to keep up the big tough fuckgirl act which you could never understand, much preferring who she actually was behind all that, not that she gave many people a chance to see it.
"why do you let her speak like that?" you glanced up from your food as hayley sat beside you with a raised eyebrow, subtly nodding her head to the table behind you where alanna was still ranting and raving to the group about how hard it was to have so many flings on the go.
"she can do whatever she wants raz she's not my girlfriend." you shrugged, picking at your food and glaring at ellie who snuck a piece of bacon off your plate. "el!" you scoffed as she repeated the action, protectively covering your plate with your arms.
"oh sorry thought you were perfectly happy to roll over and let people take whatever they want from you?" the younger girl challenged sending you into a silence. "nice." hayley nodded her approval, high fiving the blonde as you sighed.
"she doesn't take whatever she wants from me. you make it sound like i don't have a backbone!" you defended yourself with a scowl, the silence from your two friends all it took to further wound your already fragile pride.
"okay, ouch." you mumbled, going back to picking at your food. "babe we know you have a backbone. thats why its so frustrating to see you don't use it or stand up to her for the way she carries on!" ellie tried again, a little gentler this time as tegan and charlie joined the three of you.
"what are we talking about so quietly?" tegan whispered mockingly, instantly picking up the strange vibe about the table. "how dopey here lets lani treat her like a dirty little secret." hayley shrugged bluntly as you turned and punched her, hard.
"what the fuck ow!" the brunette gasped, hitting you back with a scowl as a few of the other girls turned to glance at the commotion, your body whipping back around as you heard alanna pause, her curious gaze fixated on the back of your head for a moment before she resumed.
"would you like to say that any fucking louder raz?" you warned quietly with a glare, answering the onslaught of questions from your friends before you grew tired of it, shutting the conversation down as you all finished and headed toward the gym for strength training.
~
"she's looking, again." ellie smirked as she spotted for you, watching as to her count for now the eighth time in the hour alanna was caught watching you.
"its not illegal to look el, all humans have eyes." you sighed, growing tired of her constant pointing it out. "yeah but not just everyone looks at you like they wanna tear all your clothes off and-" your grip on the bar slipped at that and you choked as it half landed on your neck, the blonde hurrying to grab it off you and helping you rack it back up.
"ellie!" you hissed, smacking her leg with a glare. "what? it's true! plus its not like its hidden knowledge that the two of you have hooked up. actually most of us expected you both to come to camp all cute and coupled up." the younger girl shrugged carelessly as you rolled your eyes.
"would you please shut up? i'm tired of the topic all together!" you snapped, only able to push down how the situation really made you feel for so long when everyone else was always poking and picking at it.
"sorry darls." the blonde winced apologetically not having realized it would affect you so much, swallowing the speech she wanted to give you about how you deserved to be treated better because if anyone knew that already it was you.
"i need to go to the bathroom. wait till i'm back before you even try to lift that!" you sternly warned the defender who you knew all too well, ellie waving you off with a huff as you made your way toward the toilets just outside the gym.
you heard the footsteps follow you out, but knowing all too well who they belonged to you refused to give her the satisfaction of turning around, ducking right into a cubicle to do what you needed.
you'd hope she'd take the hint and leave but you looked at her with a sigh as you stepped out and she was still waiting, leaning against the sinks with a toothy grin.
"ignoring me today are we?" she challenged, having texted you several times throughout the day, all of which you'd left on read.
"surprised you even noticed. your phone must just be blowing up with texts from the...what was it?" you paused after washing your hands, stroking your chin thoughtfully.
"oh yes with the girl from the bar, the coffee shop barista, the dance instructor, the physio? i'm sure one of them will happily text you back lani!" you smiled sarcastically, drying your hands and attempting to leave but a hand wrapped around your wrist.
"come on babe you know that's all just bullshit for the girls." the blonde laughed, seemingly unbothered at how that was almost worse. "well most of it. that cute new city physio does have a little crush on me!" alanna grinned wolfishly, tugging you to stand in front of her.
"congratulations. clearly she's not had a conversation with you yet or else she might come to her senses and realised what a piece of work you are!" you huffed, yanking your hand back from her grip.
"piece of art i think you mean babe, sculpted by the gods themselves." the blonde smirked as you grimaced, not finding her at all charming today.
"just please leave me alone lani. seriously i'm so over all of this hot and cold shit with you, you're a head fuck! you snapped, again trying to leave but once more she stopped you, instead now moving to block the door with her body.
"what do you mean hot and cold shit?" the taller girl frowned making you let out a bitter bark of laughter. "you can't be serious?" you scoffed at her in disbelief as she stared on silently, clearly awaiting an explanation.
"lani when its just the two of us you're so sweet. we go out together, we spend nights together, you shower me with gifts and compliments and i have your undivided attention. you treat me like you would if i was your girlfriend." you paused, the last word leaving a particularly bitter taste on your tongue.
"but then outside of that little bubble around any of our team mates and friends you act like some sort of horny teenage boy! bragging about all of these girls who practically fall to the floor with how badly they want you, and then you go on and on about all this great mind blowing sex you have with them. but then how they mean nothing and they know that but they just keep running back to you!" you pouted mockingly.
"all of those girls which are made up! why is it so hard for you to let that stupid egotistical reputation go and just admit you're having sex with me! and that you clearly have feelings for me. everyone saw us hook up in the bar after the asian cup anyway?" you crossed your arms firmly with a raised eyebrow.
"and who said i have feelings for you then hm? what makes you think you're so special?" she bit back taking you off guard a little, your face falling as hurt flashed across it momentarily.
"you think you know me so well but you haven't got a clue about what i feel or why i do anything. end of conversation!" she snapped with a scowl. "fine. end of whatever the fuck this is then!" you bit back, finally using your back bone as her eyes widened in shock.
however the chance for either of you to speak again stopped as the door swung open and smacked alanna in the back, a tiny body sprinting on through.
"harley don't run-" tameka stopped seeing the two of you, sensing she may have just interrupted something as she scooped her daughter up who reached out for you.
"everything alright?" the older woman asked, directing the question more so toward you, having known you long enough to see something was off.
"just fine." you mumbled, taking the opportunity to dart out of the bathroom, shooting harley a smile and squeezing her hand, only letting out a deep breath you'd not realised you'd been holding in until you were back in the safety of the gym.
clearly you needed to work on your poker face as ellie also immediately noticed something was up, having had a teasing remark laying in wait on her tongue having seen alanna follow after you toward the toilet.
"hey. what happened?" the blonde asked quietly with a frown as you shook your head, gesturing for her to lay down so you could spot her on the bench press. "darls what-"
"later el." you cut her off with a thin lipped smile as she hesitated but eventually nodded, settling on the bench as you busied yourself assisting her, pretending like you couldn't feel another blondes eyes bore into your back for the rest of the session.
everyone having a few hours break now until your next training session outside on the pitch you surrounded yourself with a wall of your team mates at all times, knowing so long as you did alanna would leave you be.
your bad mood lifted as you spent time with harper and harley, adoring the fact that camps were now a family affair as you, kyra and ellie chased the two small girls around the hotel playing a game of tip.
"well i think someone will sleep very well this afternoon, thank you kindly ladies!" tameka laughed as she scooped up harley, marching her off for a nap as harper had already fallen asleep on a beanbag, squished between kyra and charlie as they played mario kart.
"right. out with it then, what happened in the toilet?" ellie pulled you aside and away from the main group, hayley quick to follow having also picked up that you were out of sorts. the three of you sat outside on a picnic table in the sun, your body laid atop of it sunbaking as they sat on the benches either side of you.
with a sigh you relayed the conversation that occured, both your friends not hesitating to rip into their fellow team mate for her harsh words. "you have to cut it off after that. if she wants to remain friends and keep the peace the least she can do is apologise and acknowledge her actions!" ellie scoffed as you merely hummed.
"you are going to cut it off after that, right?" you whined as hayley pinched your thigh when you didn't answer her. "i don't know! probably?" you groaned, covering your face with your hands.
"probably!" "she's really convincing sometimes." "oh my god have some self respect!" "i have self respect! i also just have...needs." "dude! the letting hot girls gaslight you club is not one you need to be a member of." "but she is hot." "so are you! you could find someone else hot who actually treats you like a person."
"fine! i'm just gonna ignore her. if i don't let her grovel then i can't forgive her." you decided, both your friends exchanging looks of disbelief you missed, the conversation quickly changing as you instead spent the rest of your final hour catching up, all three of you now playing for different clubs since hayley had left city.
you stuck to your word, mostly.
you avoided alanna like the plague for nearly the entire second training session, someone upstairs clearly smiling down on you in good fate as the two of you weren't partnered up for anything.
until it was time for a few six on six friendlies to cool down and of course her team was your first opposition, the two of you now unable to avoid one another given you were offense and she was defense.
now you knew football could be a hands on sport, you'd played it long enough to have given and gotten enough. but the way alanna's hands seemed to settle on your hips or your torso, and the way she pressed her body into you each and every time she marked you up, was overkill.
but to your surprise it seemed to have the opposite effect as normal, and rather than having you blushing or swooning a little, you found it only wound you up further. her harsh words ringing in your ears from before as you lined up for a corner and once again she pressed into you, your jaw clenched and you went right up for the header, your elbow unfortunately making contact with her stomach as the ball spun into the back of the net and she hit the ground.
the whistle blew for the end of the session at that and you turned, seeing thankfully no blood and no real lasting injury beyond her being winded. "what the fuck was that!" the blonde spat, a few of the girls helping her up.
"its a contact sport and you were clinging onto me like wrapping paper, sorry!" you shrugged, not really sorry at all as ellie hid a smile and draped her arm over your shoulders, the two of you heading back in toward the training centre.
"a little harsh maybe, but nice." ellie mumbled, holding out her hand as you smacked yours into it with a small smile, the two of you heading up to your rooms to shower and change, having a couple of hours to yourselves before dinner.
dinner itself was less painful than breakfast, busying yourself once again playing with harper and harley you were far too distracted to notice if alanna was off on one of her 'look at all these girls who want me' tangents.
she'd messaged you again a few times since the toilet, none of them an apology and none of them you gave a second thought to reply to, still having left her on read as you had been all day.
which is why it really wasn't much of a surprise when a few hours later came the barrage of texts almost begging you to come to her room and hear her out, the way your phone was constantly lighting up not lost on you or your friends.
"oh my god she's relentless. just go!" ellie groaned after you glanced to your phone screen for the fifth time just a few minutes into the mario kart tournament you had agreed to. "remember, hold firm. you deserve to be treated right!" hayley warned quietly from beside you as you nodded.
"and, self respect!" ellie warned less quietly making your eyes roll as you headed out of the rec room and back up towards the elevator, punching in the right floor and taking your time making your way to your final destination.
you hadn't even knocked more than twice before the door swung open, alanna sighing a little in relief seeing it was you, her texts still unanswered she'd begun to give up hope. "make this quick, its my turn next on the switch." you mumbled, moving past her and into her room.
"well?" you raised your eyebrows as she awkwardly stood in front of you, kit out in a grey drew hoodie and a black pair of nike shorts. "i'm sorry." she started simply. "for?" you pushed.
"what i said earlier. i didn't mean it i was just angry and i lashed out and that wasn't fair on you." she continued, rubbing her face and taking a seat beside you on the bed, not missing the way you shuffled across leaving a healthy distance between you two.
"angry about being called out on the shitty way you treat me or your shitty dismissive attitude about whatever this is?" you pushed again, face still bent into a frown as the blonde sighed. "both. you weren't wrong i do act one way when its just us and one way when its around the girls but i don't mean to! i just, i've not had a serious relationship in ages and i don't know how to go about it." she sighed making you scoff.
"thats bullshit lani and you and i both know it. you just get much more satisfaction having everyone think you're so popular and desired after and lusted over rather than admitting you like me, just one person!" you called her out again, this time causing her to scoff.
"thats bullshit!" she denied with a shake of her head. "awesome. have fun with all your imaginary girls then lani!" you smiled bitterly, standing to leave as she shot out to grab you before you could. "i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay." she groaned, pulling you back down to sit on the bed.
"i just don't get why this is so hard for you! most of the city girls are all happily in relationships and even if you want to deny it most of them know we hook up too. al asked me the other day if we were dating and do you know how humiliating it is to basically admit i let you use me!" you shook your head and pulled your hands from her grip.
"i don't use you!" she was quick to argue, frown knitted into her eyebrows. "yes you do. its exactly like i said lani when its just the two of us you're happy to treat me like you would a girlfriend, we sleep together, we're always at one anothers houses, you take me out for dinner and you fall asleep on my lounge after watching movies all day-" you paused to collect yourself.
"-which clearly satisfies you in some way. but then you're too much of a pig headed coward to actually make it into anything more than a dirty little secret and that feels like shit! i'd understand a little more wanting to keep things between us if you weren't out or you didn't want the girls to know you were seeing a team mate but thats so far from the truth and it hurts alanna. you have no issues parading about all these fake girls and how happy you are to fuck them over but you can't admit that you treat me just the same way!" you spat honestly, unloading months of guilt and wondering and overthinking about everything.
"so what, do you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend then?" the blonde questioned cluelessly as you threw your head back with a loud frustrated groan.
"no lani! i want you to want me to be your girlfriend, and not feel the need to keep up this stupid reputation that girls don't mean anything to you beyond sleeping around and you're incapable of feeling anything for anyone. because you know the longer this will they, won't they bullshit continues the more i wonder if you actually are capable of feeling anything for anyone other than yourself!" you snapped with a huff, again getting up to leave.
"get off!" you warned seriously as she hugged you tightly from behind again preventing you from leaving. "i like you. i do, really." she mumbled with a sigh, your eyes rolling. "sure have a funny way of showing it!"
"then let me show you, give me another chance. when we get back to manchester i will take you out on a proper date, i'll wine you and dine you and i'll ask you to be my girlfriend. properly!" she spun you around, staring down at you pleadingly and you hated how much she really had you wrapped around her little finger.
"fine." you gave in with a sigh, hating yourself just a little more as the taller girl exhaled with relief, pulling you into a tight hug as you couldn't help but wrap your own arms around her torso, relishing in the small act of intimacy.
"where's mac anyway?" you mumbled into her chest, pulling away and recognizing the familiar look in her eyes. "cait's room, they'll be awhile." the blonde grinned and within seconds you were laid down on the bed and she hovered over you, lips gently sucking on your neck as your eyes fluttered closed.
"lani we should really-" you started, words swallowed by her mouth finding yours, one hand creeping up your top as the other gripped your chin allowing her full control over the kiss. "later babe, just relax." she mumbled into your ear as you sighed, giving into her advances and trying to ignore the warnings from your friends lingering in the back of your mind.
it would appear that you were still very much so a member of the letting hot girls gaslight you club, in fact it seemed you'd purchased a season ticket.
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chimielie · 6 months
Text
cw: a lot of discussion of suggestive / nsfw topics, no actual nsfw, nonsense
related to this but can be read standalone
Hajime thinks he’s getting the hang of this.
Yeah, you’re annoying, much touchier than usual, wearing clothing entirely unsuitable for early November, trying to get him to snap, but it’s been manageable. Only a couple of times he’s had to rip himself away from you before things went any further than he trusted himself to go.
He’s rediscovered the simple pleasure of making out like teenagers, keeping all your clothes on and varying your paces. Just spending hours breathing each other in and kissing slow.
He might even—might—add that there seems to be a kind of emotional benefit to this weird mandated sex break. It lets the both of you talk about your desires with literally no expectation and a lighthearted, joking air that eases Hajime’s intense inclinations exponentially. It’s not something that either of you would ever want to do any longer than you have to or even next year (you’ve been very clear that you see it as some sort of strange extended foreplay, on your end), but its been… better than he’d thought, in some ways.
In some ways it was still hell.
Still, as the days pass and he doesn’t die of blue balls, he starts to figure that this whole challenge might be really doable.
Hajime lies in bed with you, eyes half-shut as the both of you wind down for the evening with your new routine.
Your lips are soft against his, his left hand cupping the back of your neck, the other rubbing slow, light circles into your back. It’s gentle, sweet kissing, not the frantic and heated interaction of more carnal relations. It makes Hajime feel—
His fingertips are buzzing where they touch you, strings playing in his head, his head fuzzy with your scent. Content, like he could stay here forever.
You push yourself up on your elbows suddenly, smoothly, and settle your weight more heavily on his stomach, your knees squeezing his sides. Your pupils are dilated but your gaze is tender, and he can almost feel rose-colored glasses sliding over his face as he stares up at you.
“I’m in love with you,” you say, voice low and throaty from long minutes spent exploring his mouth slowly, excruciatingly so, like you hadn’t since the first months you’d been dating.
Hajime moans.
Loudly and unmistakably and completely involuntarily.
He sits up immediately, pitching you off of him as you collapse in a heap of giggles. His face is burning, he can feel it, but your laughter is surrounding him like a too-deep featherbed.
“I think,” you can hardly breathe, let alone speak through your mirth. He’d throttle you but that would only make things worse right now. “I think you just failed No Nut November.”
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dazednmatthews · 6 days
Text
(crazy how) this love thing seems unfair~ m. sturniolo
short mini fic cause i lurve this song so bad. angsty asf w a semi-happy ending. enjoy my loves <3333
“mattttttt,” her voice is coated in sleep. “come back to bed.” matt is standing at his closet door, rubbing his own tired eyes. it’s about nine in the morning, much too early to be doing anything other than laying in bed with her.
“you know that i can’t, sweetheart. i have to go work with the guys.” he finally picks a top, a soft, white sweatshirt that’s semi-cropped.
“boooooooo.” she sits up, pushing the curls that escaped her bun away from her face. the look on her face almost makes matt want to say fuck it and stay right here.
after he puts on his shoes and cologne, he walks to the side of the bed and sits. she sinks into him, body melting into his touch. they sit there for a moment, no sound in the room except their breathing. it’s peaceful.
she leans up in his arm and places a kiss at the shell of matt’s ear, making the boy groan softly. “don’t do that. it makes me want to stay right here.”
another kiss, this time under his jaw. “that’s the idea.”
one of matt’s hands are kneading the flesh of her thigh, pausing momentarily to rub circles with his thumb. the other hand is planted gently on her waist. he grips a little tighter when she kisses the corner of his mouth.
“stop touching me like that if you’re leaving.” she whines, pulling away slightly. “so not fair.”
he pulls her back. “give me a real kiss.”
she shakes her head. “ew, no. morning breath, hello.”
matt gives her a flat look. “i put my literal tongue inside of you twenty four seven and you think i give a fuck about morning breath?”
she shoves his shoulder with an incredulous laugh. “it is nine in the morning, matthew!” her eyes are sparkling now. “tone it down.”
matt shrugs. “i’m just saying.”
there’s a brief moment where they lock eyes, and suddenly it’s like all the air in the room has been sucked out. matt moves his hand up, feeling the thrum of her heart beating rhythmically. it’s one of his favorite sounds.
she moves into his lap, his hands coming to the swell of her ass to steady her. her arms loop around his neck, face close.
she pulls him in, gently connecting their lips. the way the interlock is something out of matt’s wildest dreams, serenity coating him from head to toe. he’s tugging and grasping with all his might, always needing her closer.
he can feel her lashes on his cheek, can feel her nails on the nape of his neck, can feel her love through every swipe of her tongue. he never wants to be anywhere but here.
there’s a knock at the door. “matt, we gotta go!” it’s chris. “y’all are too quiet in there so i’m staying my ass out here.”
she breaks the kiss with a giggle. “duty calls.”
he groans, resting his head on her shoulder. “so not fair.”
though it’s a fight, from matt mostly, she untangles herself and stands. she extends a hand to pull matt up, giving him a chaste kiss. “it’s okay, matty, go. i’ll be right here when you get back. always.”
***
turns out that always didn’t mean forever.
there’s a low static sound coming from the t.v, but matt pays it no mind. he’s been sat there for what feels like hours, staring into the distance. he has no idea where his brothers are, something about a friends house or something.
it’s been a couple months since the two split. since matt’s entire world shifted off its axis. he hasn’t seen you since you came to drop off the box of stuff that was filling your apartment. still hurts like the first day though.
matt fights with the same urge he gets every night at about this time. during the day is easier. he’s either asleep or so busy with work that he doesn’t really think about the you-shaped hole in his life. doesn’t really think about the absence of your toothbrush in his bathroom, or the lack of your perfume on his sheets. yeah, the day is infinitely easier.
it’s at night, when he cracks. when he turns in bed and there’s no one there. when he can’t hear the sink running because you’re doing your ridiculous sixteen-step skincare routine. when he walks to his bed just fine because there’s no ill placed bag in the middle of the floor to trip over. it feels like walking into a room and immediately forgetting what you were meant to be doing. he knows something is missing, but he doesn’t know how to get it back.
he wants to call you. wants to talk. to sort through all the communication that wasn’t handled well. it wasn’t a messy breakup, or even a hostile one. and somehow, matt thinks that’s worse. he’d prefer yelling and arguing and just knowing you weren’t right for each other anymore.
but it wasn’t that. instead it was distance and tears and feeling like right now there just wasn’t enough space in each others lives for one another.
he didn’t want this. at all. he wondered if you felt the same. he’d stared at the phone countless night willing himself to dial the number. to draft a text. he’d spent just as many willing you to do the same. it never came though.
matt knows tonight is different. the hum of the ac is lulling the anxious feelings in his stomach. he knows by the way his shaky hands grab his phone that this time is going to be the one.
he doesn’t know what to say, nor how to get it out. he wants to pour his heart out, but he also can’t do that without looking at you. without seeing you and feeling the rush of unwavering love he always got whenever his eyes met yours. it wouldn’t be fair.
so he starts off light and hopes for the best. you always did used to say that he had a way of knowing you better than anyone else.
he hopes to god that’s still true.
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a/n: i’m tewwwwww good to y’all fr. jus sumn lite bc i love that damn song soooo bad and it came on this morning and a giant ass cartoon lightbulb went off in my head. anyway number neighbor part five & six later today cause ik that’s what u guys really want 😭 i hope u guys like this okie bye i love you all sooooo bad!!!
TAGLIST:
@sturnioloco @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @rootbeerworshiper @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @ilovechrisssturniolo @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @giannasturn @iluvmattsbeard @mattsmad @bambi-slxt
(also if i add tags based on requests and on comments so if u ever want to be taken off let me know!!!! jus send me an ask or a message and it’s no problem <3333)
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pinasscoladaa · 1 month
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Straight in….to the wrong net - Kerstin Casparij x Reader
As soon as the ball hit the back of the net you couldn’t control the laugh that was let out of your mouth, 3-0 up and your girlfriend had just put one.. her first one into the back of the net.. the wrong net.. making it an own goal. You saw the look in kerstins face as the ball went in, almost in slow motion the sheer disbelief that she had been the one to give united a goal in citys very dominant derby.
However you knew yourself and your girlfriend’s humour so as all the played returned to their position you made a brief stop over to kerstin, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them before imitating the commentators and shouting, “and its down the front line, city’s number 18 getting possession back of the ball and what this… SHE SENDS IT RIGHT INN….TO THE WRONG NET”
Your city teammates seemed to have heard your interaction and were quick to laugh along as you returned to your position, being jokingly pushed there faster by your girlfriend who was trying not to laugh along.
The game concluded at 3-1, once again proving that manchester is infact blue, and as soon as the final whistle blew you felt a body jump up onto your back, being quick to catch it before it fell you felt the body lean over your shoulder and kiss all over your cheek. Turning your head to meet her lips you pecked them a few times before she began laughing softly, “did i really just do that?” she mumbled, hiding her face in your shoulder.
“Yes baby, yes you did. but congratulations on your first goal my lovely” you chuckled, still teasing the dutch girl as you walked the bothbof you round the ethiad, clapping for the fans who never failed to show up for your team. Feeling a small smack to the side of your head and the groan into your shoulder from your girlfriend only made you laugh harder, quickly feeling her begin laughing along too.
You and kerstin weren’t shy to show your relationship on social media, the both of you loving showing eachother off, quickly gaining the title as City’s “it” couple, the both of you always interacting with fans together and then laughing at the clips posted of the interactions later on, so you weren’t surprised to find the clips flooding your social feed of you teasing kerstin after her goal, fans all over the wsl loving your guys relationship were quick to share and repost the clip, much to kerstins dismay, however much she wanted to admit it she loved it secretly. So a few hours after the game when you found yourself of your girlfriend’s instagram yet again.. you reposted the clip to your own socials before cuddling into your girlfriends side in your shared apartment, finding comfort in your girls arms after a long day.
“i love you mijn vriendin” she whispered into your hair, kissing the top of your head.
“i love you. forever, my baby.”
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tripleyeeet · 7 months
Text
WEAVED TOGETHER (SAY IT'S FOREVER)
SUMMARY: After faking your death years ago, Astarion finally finds you in Waterdeep.
PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader
WORD COUNT: 5,128
WARNINGS: 18+ sexual content, fingering, orgasm denial, sex used as a manipulation tactic, biting, blood sucking, descriptions of past/current abuse, Ascendent Astarion (feel like I need to tag this just in case), a whole lot of angst.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic gave me so much grief. I really hope my labour translates into something good because man, if it doesn't I might fucking cry. :') Also, fic title is inspired this bop!
MASTERLIST
-
You’ve never been particularly keen on parties. Favouring quite possibly anything above the stuffy insides of a ballroom packed with people, it’s a miracle that you haven’t already left Gale’s side for some air. To take even the shortest of moments to allow yourself some alone time. 
Feeling the fabric of your dress uncomfortably stick to your skin, you can’t help but squirm at the thought of having to stay any later. Considering you’ve been here for a good few hours already, you’re tempted to ask Gale if maybe now’s the time to part ways.
At this point you’ve been well and truly shown off to the entire party, gawked at by countless of his old academic friends, so surely he wouldn’t mind if you up and left now, right?
Before you can think to ask, he’s already wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in for a friendly kiss to the cheek. “I really do appreciate you coming,” he tells you, drunkenly swaying as he speaks, letting out a chuckle as you hold him steady. “I would’ve been terribly embarrassed to show up at such a renowned event without a date.” 
“So you’ve mentioned.” You shoot him a smug look, watching him roll his eyes and take a sip of wine, debating whether or not to take the glass from him, knowing just how much he’s had.
“I mean it, you’ve been nothing short of wonderful to me in my time of need, so thank you.”
Despite the urge to play down his thanks, to remind him of all the things he’s done for you as of late, you merely take it, offering him a quick you’re welcome in return, knowing just how persistent a drunken Gale can get. How the man hardly pauses to breathe in the midst of a conversation —his endless string of words seeming to lose you almost instantly every time. 
Even now, as he begins to go on some long-winded speech about the importance of your friendship, you’re already miles away, longing to drift towards the balcony that rests just across the room, taunting you with its open air and lack of people. 
“Anyways, would you care for another drink? I’m in need of one myself thanks to the hole at the bottom of my glass.” Pulling you back in, Gale lets out a joyous laugh, throwing his head back while you merely shake your head.
“I’m uh, no I’m fine Gale. You go ahead and get that drink. I think I’m going to head outside and get some air.” 
All he does is give you a tight hug before he leaves, stumbling across the marble floors, bumping into various bodies that suddenly get caught up in his inebriated storm, allowing you a moment to yourself. 
You let out a sigh of relief then, turning your attention to your desired spot, gathering up the skirt of your dress so that you can race to its opening, breathing in the scent of fresh air once you step past the threshold.  
Somehow once you’re out there, you notice that there isn’t a body in sight. No couples having late-night trysts in the corner or other lonesome individuals stood painfully reflecting on their night. It’s just you by yourself, walking slowly towards the railing, gripping it tight as you allow your mind to settle. To shut down for just a moment after being on for so long.
It feels like forever since you’ve felt this calm. After years of endless journeys —of fighting and running and, as of late, hiding away— you feel that old sense of ease wash over you. Like the waves of Waterdeep’s coast, they gently lap at your feet, rising and falling with each breath you take, watching from afar the bustling city streets below as they begin to die out for the night. 
It reminds you of home, a bit. Of the nights you used to spend wandering around Baldur’s Gate, your belly full of the cheapest ale and your mind empty of anything other than the prospect of fun. Back then, you were always full of reckless abandon, constantly getting into trouble only to talk your way out of it not long after and unfortunately, you can’t help but begin to miss it all. The life before the war. Before you were taken in the dead of night and forced into a life you never wanted to live. 
Things were simpler then. You didn’t have the scars of clashing swords or the kind of memories that often shook you awake each night, covered in sweat and gasping for air. Devoid of anything truly awful, all you had was the blissful ignorance of a fool. One hellbent on solitude in a world of constant interaction. 
Honestly, if it weren’t for the people you’d met along the way you’d be jealous of that life. The one where you were seemingly untouchable, your mind vacant of regret and resentment and—
Before you can continue, you shake those same feelings from your mind, forcing out a heavy breath as you try to maintain the calm. The ocean of waves of Waterdeep pooling between your toes, knowing it’s the only way you’ll move on. If you focus on the positives —if you refuse to look back even for the slightest of moments you’ll forget all about those other lives you lived. All the chapters you spent haphazardly scribbling down, trying desperately to get to this moment.
It seems impossible sometimes, remembering how much shit you had to go through to get here. Not only did you have to survive countless wars involving mind flayers and cultists, but you also had to die to get it. And not die in the metaphorical sense, either. No, you had to literally die —to off yourself in front of countless people and hope to god the Necromancer that you hired actually turned up. 
It was a whole process. One that you refuse to think about as you let out a scoff and raise your hands to your head, pressing two fingers to either temple to relieve yourself of the sudden ache that hits. 
“Remember what we said about thinking,” you remind yourself then, allowing your eyes to slowly roll back, savouring the alleviated pressure your fingers provide.
Repeating the mantra in your head, you rub your skin and hum aloud, standing for a few more minutes as you listen to the sounds of the bustling party behind you. How the music swells into a crescendo of excitement, various strings and woodwinds all playing in time with one another. 
Alongside it, a calming voice echoes over, rising and falling with each passing note that carries through the air to your ears. At first, it’s soft and silky —comforting in a way that wills you to drop your hands and take a few steps towards the entrance of the building, watching as a beautifully freckled bard strums her lute and smiles at the crowd. 
Suddenly intrigued, you move to your previous spot inside the ballroom, spotting a rather awestruck Gale who’s holding onto two glasses of red, staring with widened eyes.
“She’s rather pretty.” You grin wickedly and bump your hip against his, hearing him grunt as he blinks and glances at you. 
“I’m sorry?”
Taking the glass nearest to you, you then use that same hand to motion to the bard that’s begun to erupt in an upbeat chorus, her voice lowering to a wild growl as she kicks up her feet, dancing around the stage with some of the other musicians. “The bard. Fancy a taste?”
He narrows his eyes at you, a grin of his own peeling across his face as he shakes his head. “I think a conversation would suffice. Least, for starters.” 
Biting your bottom lip, you jokingly wrap your arm around his shoulders and shake, pressing your face against his cheek to make obnoxious kissing sounds that leave him laughing and shoving you off. 
“Unhand me, you harlot!” 
“What? Afraid she’ll see?” 
He opens his mouth, almost offended, staring for a moment as you wiggle your brows and take a sip of the wine. “Excuse you, that was my drink.”
“You got yourself two drinks?” You raise your brow.
He scrunches up his face in response before subtly craning his neck towards the other side of the ballroom. “No, it’s for Astarion.” 
Your stomach sinks at the mention of his name, filling you with the kind of dread you’ve only felt one other time in your life. All at once it sends you into a panic. Your chest aching and your throat tightening. Even your hands, once carefully wrapped around the vessel of liquid seemingly shifts to a close, resulting in shattering glass that pokes and prods your skin before it falls to the ground. 
Crying out in surprise, Gale’s previously mischievous expression quickly fades. Replacing it, an air of worry envelopes the both of you. As he reaches for your arm, allowing his hand to carefully slide down to view your newfound injury, you try to swallow and scan the room, picking apart face after face to no avail, wondering if somehow he’s already found you. If perhaps, instead of where Gale assumes he is he’s instead directly behind you, lingering like the creature of the night he is, waiting to strike. 
A shaky breath escapes you then. Peeling away from Gale’s cautious grasp, you take a minute to blink and look him up and down, noticing the growing fear in his eyes. How his lack of understanding only spurs your head to whip behind you, to find more curious eyes staring back. 
“Are you alright?” 
The question comes from a voice you’ve never heard before. So, instead of entertaining it you merely turn back to Gale, suddenly catching an unfortunate glimpse of pale skin and ivory hair quite a ways back. 
Immediately, it strengthens the dread inside, ripping the breath from your lungs as you press a nervous hand to your neck, realizing that somehow it’s already been years since you’ve last seen him. Months and days and hours all collectively bundled together, only to be completely ruined by this one moment.
As you stand there, staring —watching as he does nothing but the same, you feel your mind yelling for you to run. To discard whatever reservations you may have left to push violently through the crowd because, at this rate, it’s the only option left. Having already tried hiding beneath the freezing hands of Death himself, it’s obvious you’ve exhausted all other options. No matter what you do —what you say— nothing will be deemed feasible enough to grant you the escape you so foolishly desire. You’re too vulnerable now, standing there in your ballroom gown, bleeding from your injured hand, trying not to have a full-blown panic attack as he takes that first stride forward. 
Matching his step, you feel your body waver backwards, everything suddenly swirling across your vision as Gale reaches out to grab your arm, asking if you’re okay.
“I’m aware the breakup wasn’t amicable but maybe if you two just talk?” he suggests, his voice bouncing off your ears like a war drum, reminding you that Sufferance is coming. And that he’s dressed in his fanciest suit to mark the occasion, practically gliding through the room with knitted brows and frowning lips, pushing aside everybody who gets in his way. 
“Gale, we —I need to go.”
Suddenly your palm, still filled with glass pushes against his robes, staining the fabric as your blood begins to drip, reminding you of his hunger —of the way he used to feed. How he took and took, ignoring your starvation for something other than submission. Refusing to acknowledge the withering of your soul each day you spent wrapped around his pretty little fingers.  
As he shoves a woman to the ground, you can feel the emptiness within your stomach start to grow at the memory. The shuddering of your limbs driving Gale to look behind him, noticing the wild look in Astarion’s eyes as the crowd begins to part in fear, watching as he bares his teeth. 
It’s a look that makes you instantly flinch. Closing your eyes, your shoulders rise to touch your ears in anticipation. Waiting for the moment to strike, you all but freeze in place, holding your breath as the steps of his boots draw near, reverberating through the air until they suddenly stop.
In fact, everything stops. The sound of him —the sound of the party. All of it falls onto deaf ears, creating a new fear that has you so terrified you merely stand in place until you eventually hear the clapping sound of a hand on someone’s back, followed by the swirling of your head again, forcing your eyes to jolt open. 
“Oh, hello darling, didn’t see you there.”
Once again trying to breathe, you glance between the two men in confusion, watching as they share a lengthy embrace before Astarion’s pushing himself onto you. Gentler than expected, his arms slowly wrap around your shoulders as he does it, pulling you to his chest in a way that feels both frightening and familiar. A mix of home and hell encased around your nervous frame as he lowers his head to yours. 
In response, you reluctantly raise your hands and place them on his back, applying a bit of pressure at the centre as you mutter out a muddled hi, looking to see that the commotion he so violently caused before seems to have evaporated into thin air. 
“You’re awfully far from home, aren’t you?” His voice is barely above a whisper, ghosting against the shell of your ear as you force out a shaky breath.
“So are you.”
“I wonder why that is.”
You hum in response. Using the short moment of silence that’s granted to stare. To watch the way he looks you up and down, the edges of his lips pulling into a smirk of amusement. 
It’s obvious then that he’s thinking of playing tricks. Of taunting and teasing —using all the usual charming tactics before he decides it’s worth it to raise a little hell. 
Because of this, you merely swallow hard and spare Gale a glance, watching him magic away the bloodstain on his robes before looking back towards the stage. 
“How did you find me?”
Astarion reaches for your chin. Taking hold of it with his thumb and forefinger, he then waits patiently for you to share his gaze, looking your face up and down until he can finally see the fear in your eyes. “Does it really matter?” 
It does, but you know he won’t tell you so you move on to another question. “Why are you here then?” 
Immediately he scoffs, the smirk on his face falling for a split second. “Do you really have to ask?” he says, letting his thumb run across the length of your bottom lip. “Obviously, I’ve come to enjoy a spot of red with old friends.”
“Hm.”
“Among other things, of course.” 
“Like?” 
“Reclaiming my dead consort, for one.”
“And two?” 
He shrugs his shoulders as he taps your chin. “Not sure. Depends on how the night goes.” 
You’re not sure what to say then. Growing increasingly lost to the feeling of his hands and voice —remembering all the moments shared when it was just him and you and the power imbalance of ascension hadn’t yet existed— all you can do is pull him in a bit tighter. 
Knowing that Gale is probably growing more curious by the second, you suddenly feel a sense of protection. An urge to get rid of him so that he’s no longer at risk. 
Well aware of the power Astarion now holds within his grasp, you know it’s hardly worth it to try and get him involved anyway, especially considering how much alcohol he’s consumed. The poor man couldn’t be helpful even if he tried, so instead of asking you merely hold on. Tightening your grip as the other parts of you desperately try to rationalize just how much you’ve missed this. How even after years spent fleeing his hold —years of constant moving and hiding and watching your back for signs of his presence— his touch is still the only thing that makes you feel safe.
Which is a fact that makes you sick to your stomach, discovering that, regardless of being able to name a million reasons why you should be fleeing rather than falling, suddenly you’re able to name just as much for why you’d stay. Why you’d more than willingly follow his footsteps if he asked. 
And not because you fear him, no. Despite having just been found out —despite that growing uncertainty of how you’ll inevitably be taken back— it’s as if your mind resets on impact. As he holds you close, speaking in obvious threats to your safety if you don’t listen, you can feel the defiance in you quickly dwindle. Evaporating into thin air as he leans away to give Gale an overly friendly smack to the shoulder. 
“Gale, darling, you wouldn’t mind giving us a bit of privacy would you? Seems we have much to discuss.” 
The hold he has on you tightens as he speaks, reminding you that such a conversation is anything but optional as Gale almost immediately buggers off, drunkenly mumbling something about drinks and fun before Astarion’s whisking you away. 
Leading you through a crowd of bodies, you quickly find your hand gripping his shoulder absentmindedly. All splayed out, your fingers nervously caress the fabric of his doublet, feeling the texture shift beneath your skin, reminding you that he’s here. That’s he’s present and real and not just some illusion conjured up to scare you into coming back. 
“Your entrance back there was…” 
You’re not sure what to say anymore. Not with the underlying rage you can feel radiating off of him. Given the fact that it’s been so long, you’ve almost forgotten how to please him. To make his mind ease into those old spaces of pity where sometimes he’d grant you reprieve amongst the punishment. 
Knowing this, he looks at you with feigned innocence, taunting you with his still raised lip as though he’s having fun despite slowly inching towards the blowout. “Did you like it? I figured, it’s been so long since I’ve last toyed with that little mind of yours, best to give it a proper show.” 
He wipes his thumb across your forehead and watches you frown; your head suddenly darting back only to be ripped forward when that same hand tightens around your throat.
All at once the action leaves you gasping for air. As his thumb presses down on the centre of your neck, applying just enough pressure to pull from you a nervous wheeze as the two of you stop, he can’t help but lower his face to yours. 
“I’d consider yourself lucky that the temperament I showed back there was merely an illusion,” he tells you, pressing his forehead to yours.
Swallowing to no avail, you feel the lump in your throat become pressurized by the growing frustrations in his hand. Prompting you to panic, another airless sound emits from your lips as your eyes begin to dart around, looking at all the curious eyes that seemingly look away the second you make contact. 
You realize then that nobody cares. Whether it’s due to the intimidating presence he exudes or the potential word of mouth of his ascendance circulating the room, you don’t care, knowing it doesn’t really matter anyway. He’s untouchable regardless. A force so unmovable that all you can do is pray that he’s merciless. 
As he grips your throat amongst a sea of avoidant faces, unwavering in his efforts to patronize your past behaviours, you know then that this marks the end of your freedom. That from this moment on his control over you has been reenacted without discussion. 
“Now, are we going to obey and have a nice evening or are we going to do something we might regret?” 
Looking back at him, all you can do is nod, feeling that alleviation slowly come. Granting you the chance to breathe again, you cough quietly and reach for your throat, rubbing the pain away as you watch his previously aggressive demeanour fall into amusement, once again stringing you along. 
At which point you effectively zone out. Still feeling his hand flush against the small of your back, it’s as if suddenly your mind becomes null, avoiding all thoughts as he leads you through the main entry of the ballroom, turning down a seemingly endless stream of corridors until you find yourself face to face with an ornate door. 
Once there, he peels away from your frame and begins to pick the lock, wickedly grinning at you once that familiar click rings out, reminding you of the old him. Of how he was before the ritual, all doe-eyed and excited to experience the world and all its gifts. 
It makes your lip pull between your teeth nervously, seeing him unbend the length of his back to look at you. To smirk in a way that feels so real and him that you almost forget that he’s changed. That, instead of picking the lock to loot the room and make charming little jokes at your expense, he’s doing it so he can get you alone. So that he can do unspeakable things the old Astarion would never think to do.
“Shall we?” 
His voice rings out like a request even though you know deep down it’s a command, secretly telling you to hurry up. So, doing just that, you brush past him without so much as a glance, taking in the endless wall of books that greets you as you enter, opening your mouth in slight awe until the door closes behind you. 
Turning back, you’re then given all but a second before he’s on you. Grabbing you with such violent desperation, a hand snakes around your waist, claiming you like he used to do when you were still devoted to being his. When this idea of free will was nothing more than a passing thought that barely grazed the surface.
Back when he was still yours. 
Immediately, the familiarity of it wreaks havoc on your chest. Your heart, once filled with longing and fear now radiates nothing but need. Demanding that old sensation of flesh brushing against flesh as his other hand takes hold of the base of your neck.
The second you feel it, all thoughts are lost. Every previous reservation you once had melting into nothing against the hot feeling of your mouth pushing against his, prying open both lips to taste his tongue. To remind yourself of what it felt like to be wanted in the simplest sense. 
Deepening the kiss, he moans and somehow pulls you closer, forcing your chests together as he maneuvers you backwards, stumbling over a raised edge of a rug before practically tossing you onto the floor. 
“Years,” he groans then, pulling away to stare down at you with knitted brows and swollen lips, distracting you with that pretty face as he begins to rip the bodice of your dress. “I’ve spent years without this flesh —without this blood.” 
His fingers pry at the fabric, peeling back the only layer you have to hide behind until you’re left exposed from the waist up, anxiously breathing at the sight of his hunger. 
A sight that leaves you helpless beneath his grasp as he quickly leans forward, palming one breast while holding your face with the other. Beneath him, all you’re able to do is take each touch as it comes, savouring the uncharacteristic softness as his thumb brushes against your nipple, teasing it with gentle swipes as he goes in for another kiss.
Similar to his hands, there’s a strange feeling that comes along with it. As he nibbles your bottom lip, choosing to give you control, you know that something’s off. That instead of displaying the softest version of him you’ve felt in years, he should be punishing you with reckless brutality. Taking what’s rightfully his without so much as a thought.
Because of this, you reluctantly pull away, gasping for air as he hovers above you, still stroking your chest and face. 
“Why are you doing this?”
Normally, such a question would result in some sort of punishment. A night of solitary confinement. Perhaps the silent treatment for up to a week. 
Back before you realized just how fucked up everything had gotten he used to isolate you for things as simple as this. Forcing everyone around to ignore your every waking move, he found that loneliness was the key to your obedience. The only way to control whatever reckless thoughts entered your mind. 
So, it’s surprising when he answers —when he lowers his mouth to give your lips one final kiss before flashing that smirk. “What do you mean?” 
You raise your brow and move to sit up, leaning against your elbows as your face contorts in confusion. “Why are you acting like him?”
“You mean me?” 
You open your mouth to respond —to fight against his words, knowing now more than ever that you should. Considering the door’s already open for conversation, you might as well get all your thoughts out while you’re able. Because after this it’s apparent, you’ll be stuck all over again, wasting away at the foot of a God who’s anything but forgiving. 
“You aren’t punishing me.” 
“I’m not.” 
“Why?”
His hand explores your face, swiping across skin that hasn’t felt a single touch since your departure. “There’s always time for punishment —for penance,” he tells you, tracing your features with featherlight strokes that have you begging for more as you push yourself upward. “Now that I have you again, there’s far more important things I want before I subject you to what you deserve.” 
“Which is?” 
He pauses for a while, continuing his ministrations in a way that has you forgetting why you left in the first place. Why, instead of subjecting yourself to the torment of his hand to feel the grace that often coincides, you decided to give it all up. 
“I haven’t quite decided yet.” 
It’s a simple statement, yet it holds far too much weight against your ears. As he speaks, your heart flutters in your chest nervously, reminding you that this thing between you is nothing more than an imbalance. A tipping scale so unevenly distributed that you’ve lost all hope for rebalance. 
Because of this, you don’t fight him when he inevitably leans forward. Nor when he presses a slightly rougher kiss to your lips, biting down with a newfound vigour that splits your lip in half. Feeling the blood pool out, you hardly react when Astarion’s lips begin to suckle the wound, lapping up whatever spills through as he rips away the rest of your clothes, tossing it all aside.
Suddenly cold, you find your arms rising to hold him all over again. Wanting to feel the fabric of his clothes pressing against your bare skin, you grip him tight and groan, relishing in this moment. Enjoying the familiarity of it as something warm blooms across your aching core, fuelling the need for your hips to slightly buck up, making him laugh. 
Light and airy, the sound filters through your mouth like smoke, taking hold of your lungs in a way that leaves you addicted. Wanting to chase that past feeling, your hands swiftly lower to his waist, your fingers tucking themselves under his clothes to touch the texture of his scar —to feel the old him amongst all the new. 
Realizing this, his movements become suddenly erratic. Forcing himself up with a grin, he then begins to quickly trail down your body, pressing his mouth to every exposed bit within his sightline, making sure to glance up at your heavy eyes and parted lips along the way. 
“Mm, still as desperate as ever, my little consort,” he tuts. 
Between the kisses he places to your freshly bruised flesh, he releases another laugh that lingers in your mind, further reminding you of him. Of the man you fell in love with. Of the man who swiftly slips between your thighs with little notice, raising the backs to rest against his shoulders. 
A sound of shock escapes your lips at the new position, craning your neck to watch him latch onto your inner thigh, suckling the plush through such a guttural moan that it forces your jaw to drop.
“Fucking hell,” you mumble then, prompting his lips to curl into a grin before he’s biting your thigh, forcing his teeth through the tender flesh before you can even think to object.
It feels better than you remember. Almost like a hot flash of pleasure before that familiar coldness kicks in, numbing the space that he suckles with haste. As his lips hollow out to drink whatever he can get, you feel his hand slip against your entrance, knuckles grazing the outer folds of your sex just right. 
Bucking your hips again, you feel his movements become one. Each time his tongue licks up, his fingers raise to the top of your cunt, flowing back down in such delicious unison you’re already ready to submit. To surrender yourself to whatever pleasures might await through the pain of your punishment.
So much so that you’re already begging for it. Through gasps that barely hit his ears, your voice whines for more. For more pressure or movement or frankly, whatever the hell he’s willing to give despite how undeserving you are.
“Please, Astarion.”
The moment he hears that little please he’s pulling away, grinning at you with teeth and tongue all covered in your blood. 
“I’m sorry, you want me to please you?”
He gently pushes two fingers into your entrance, curling the ends ever so slightly while keeping them still, watching as you press your lips together, unable to speak.
“To pleasure you?”
Slowly, he angles his head to suck your thigh again, dragging a fresh wave of blood through his hungry lips before shifting towards your cunt and licking a tentative strip directly above his fingers. 
“To taste you, perhaps?”
His voice is low, droning on in that teasing way that has you looking down annoyed, taking in the way he goes back and forth, debating whether or not to relent. To give in to the indulgence, watching you squirm beneath him. Forcing you to stir in your own prolonged pleasure until he all but sits back up, digging his fingers into the holes in your thigh, telling you you’ll get what you deserve once you’ve come back home.
-
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lethalchiralium · 1 year
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hi! i love your writing and was wondering if you could do a könig x reader where the reader is giving birth to their baby but it’s a hard birth and könig pushes his anxiety away to help coach her through it?❤️
So This Is Love | König x Wife!AFAB!Reader
a/n: you know me. i was literally thinking about writing something about könig and a baby. nonnie i’ll love you forever. i’ll write a family fic for könig too if people want it 😭 i love him so much. (thank you @as-is-above-so-below for the baby name, you are amazing)
warnings: Childbirth, pregnancy, a lot of anxiety.
summary: It’s time for you and your husband, König, to meet your new baby. It’s just that you are panicking, and König needs to keep you calm.
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König stirred awake to a dark bedroom, eyes blinking to adjust to the darkness. He turned to look at the digital clock on his nightstand, its red numbers blinking 01:56 AM. He rolled back over, hand reaching for you on the right side of the bed, but found only warm sheets. His eyes really opened then, he sat up quickly and reached backwards for the lamp. It clicked on, illuminating the bedroom and your empty side of the bed. He saw a large wet spot just a few inches from his hand, he moved quickly off the bed as he called your name. It couldn’t be time, you weren’t due for another couple of weeks - his heart began to race even as he heard your voice from the bathroom.
He made it in four strides, almost slamming his head on the door frame when he darted into the bathroom. The panic in chest only increased as he found you sitting on the floor, back against the tub with a towel underneath you. He was instantly beside you, kneeling and placing one of his hands on your swollen belly. “What happened?”
The tears that ran down your face only made his entire body grow dizzy, your hand rested on his as you whispered, “My water broke.”
König felt his resolve crumble under his skin, panic bells ringing in his ear as he spoke, “You’re not-“
“Due for a couple of weeks, I know,” You winced, eyes fluttered shut as you let out a breathy groan. “Tell your baby to stop hitting my ribs.”
His blue eyes flickered down to your belly, only taking just a moment to collect himself before he leaned closer, saying, “Du tust deiner Mutter weh, du wirst uns bald treffen, mein Baby.” He pressed a kiss to your belly, eyes looking back up to you. He flexed his other hand into a fist, trying to get his focus off of his racing heartbeat. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”
You shook your head, letting out a loud groan and taking his hand into your own. “F-Fuck-“ You panted out, your other hand instinctively reached for his other as well. He immediately gave it to you. “Yeah. Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”
König’s entire body was on emergency mode, he could barely even breathe the whole time you had been in labor. Catering to your every need no matter how small helped a little, but the intense pain you were in because of his child made him almost vomit.
36 hours of labor have come and gone, spent sitting on a exercise ball and watching TV, or eating crisps on your hospital bed while he massaged your feet. The baby in your belly seemed content in causing you pain, kicking your kidneys whenever you had a contraction. The sweetheart you were, you never told him that it was his fault that you were this way - but boy was he thinking it. Every tiny discomfort almost had him crying out of anxiety; he had spent countless years in battle and has seen people in pain, but he never wanted to hear moans of agony come from your lips.
He hadn’t even settled on a name yet. You were so patient, you didn’t want to name this baby a name that he didn’t like. He begged for your suggestions, but you refused - saying, “Any name I say you’ll just agree with. Find your own.”
He sat with you now, he felt it was getting closer to meeting his first child. The nurse was fluttering about, a sweet young woman who didn’t ease his nerves at all. It may have been the thousandth baby she’s delivered, but this is his first child and the first she would be delivering with you. He had already chewed down his nails, he had to force himself to stop before he made himself bleed.
“Baby,” You murmured your warm bed, he was sat right behind you, his head right next to your arm as your hand reached for his head. “Baby.”
“Yes?” He whispered, moving his hand to intercept yours, holding it before you squeezed his hand.
“I need you.”
He’s spent months and months thinking of all the terrible things that could go wrong with you and the baby, he was still uncharacteristically calm. He wanted to be at the hospital with you, but you were against it - he did as you said. So here you were in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and monitors. He was quick to stand, help you move forwards so he could sit behind you. The mattress was almost soft, he noted, and he felt upset that he even suggested coming to the hospital. He wasn’t used to any of this, the clench of his lungs in his chest made him nauseous. Your back curled into his chest, his hands immediately settled on your pregnant belly. He could immediately feel his baby respond to his touch, kicking and making you grunt in pain. Your hands then moved to on top of his, squeezing them.
“It hurts, König,” Your words stung him like a wasp, infecting his skin and blood with red hot venom. He pressed kisses to your hair that was thrown up messily before leaning forwards, moving his hands so your palms met.
“It’s okay, my love,” He murmured, squeezing your hands as you squeezed back, letting out a loud whine of pain. “Breathe for me, Schatzi. Come on.”
“I can’t.” You groaned out, head thrown back into his shoulder as you squeezed his hands so hard. The nurse moved towards the bed, one hand on one of your knees.
“I’m gonna see if I can feel the head, okay?” She spoke calmly, all you could do was nod and the soldier stared at the woman as she reached down between your legs. Your hands moved to bring his arms around your chest, eyes also glancing down at the woman before she moved back, a smile on her face. “You’re going to need to start pushing soon. Not right now, so prepare yourself.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Your small voice broke König’s heart. He tightened his arms around your chest, your hands gripped his forearms.
He swallowed, fending off his anxiety from swelling his throat as he spoke, “You can, Liebling. And I’ll be right here, I won’t let you go. Squeeze me as hard as you need.”
There was a knock on the door and it opened, revealing your short doctor with a mask on her face and hair pulled into a fabric surgical cap. Behind her were two more nurses, both in pink scrubs and wheeling in a bassinet. He felt like everything in his body was going to explode.
This was really happening. Soon, he was going to be a father to a little girl or a little boy - and he hadn’t even told you the names he liked.
“Let’s have a baby! How are you doing?” Your doctor was as happy as ever, something König wasn’t always fond of.
Your hands squeezed his forearms, a grunt escaped from between your gritted teeth.“Like I’m pushing a baby out of my vagina.”
“Always the chipper one, then?” The doctor smirked, commenting, “I’m gonna check and see where the little one is, okay?” She lifted the paper blanket and then looked back to her nurses, then to König. She nodded curtly before looking to you, saying, “It’s go time. I can see the baby’s head.”
König physically felt you freeze for a moment, he was stunned himself and he felt his diaphragm squeeze. This was the last time König would ever be just someone - soon, he would be someone’s father. And he would do better than his own, better than the man who abandoned his family and ruined his only son.
You let out a yelp, hands still holding onto his forearms as the doctor spoke, “Alright, let’s push.”
“No, no no! I’m not- Ready-“ Your chest curled forwards, a loud whine of pain as you dragged your husband forward by his arms secured around you. “I want-“
“It’s too late for any pain meds, I’m sorry.” Your doctor gave you a sympathetic gaze before looking back between your legs. Another jolt of pain had you screaming out, the doctor telling you to push but all you did was let out a cry of pain. “C’mon, sweetheart. Your baby’s almost here, you can do it.”
“I can’t!” You shouted back, voice laced with agony as you collapsed backwards into your husband, sobs racking your entire chest as you squeezed his arms. “Fuck, König, please- Please make it stop.”
You were always the strong one in the relationship, level headed and wise; something König admired and those traits helped keep him grounded when he was getting into one of his attacks. But now, it was like the roles reversed - you were panicking, in pain, wanting to stop but he knew you couldn’t. He pressed his forehead to the crown of your head, speaking over your loud moans and the doctor’s commands. “You’re going to give us the best thing we’ve ever been given, our child. I’m going to hold them and think about how strong you were for creating a little life with me. You’re going to be in so much pain for me, I’m sorry, my Schatzi. But you have always been strong, always held your head in the face of danger. Just a little longer.”
“Ah-fuck! Fuck, fuck- No, no, no I can’t- I can’t-“ Your nails dug into his skin, your torso shot forwards as you let out a loud cry of pain. He followed suit, letting your nails draw blood from his arm.
He pressed a kiss to your messy hair, it was almost matted. “You can, Schatzi. Und das wirst du.” He made a note to help you brush your hair when you were resting, but now all he could do was watch the doctor and nurses await the arrival of his child.
“One more push, Y/N.” Your doctor’s voice was calm, the nurses waiting beside her with supplies that König didn’t care to look at. He kept his hold, letting you squeeze his arms around you as you cried.
“I can’t- I can’t anymore.”
“Yes, you can.” He spoke, his voice echoed over your grunts, the loud pants from your mouth almost drowned out him saying, “You’re strong, Schatzi. Stark. We’re doing this together, always.”
It was only a moment longer, a last scream of pain and nails digging into skin, crescent moons tattooed his arms. There was a moment, just a moment where your open backed hospital gown hit his grey undershirt, your nails no longer going for blood. In that moment, his lips pressed against the shell of your ear with a bated breath, arms looser around you while your arms went slack and your head rolled back into König’s shoulder.
A shrill sound. Sighs of relief from everyone in the room as the recognizable sound of a baby crying filled the silence, the doctor happily chirping as the nurses began to help your baby. Your eyes felt so heavy, it was hard to keep them somewhat open but you still did it, the sheer adrenaline of wanting to see the baby you’ve been humming to for nine months. You wanted to see the creature who liked to kick you in your sleep at the exact same time of night, the baby who liked to move whenever your husband placed his hand upon the swell of your stomach.
The nurses moved away as your doctor held up the little baby with both hands, “It’s a girl!”
“Do you want to cut the cord, Dad?” One of the nurses asked, König pressed the side of his head to your head. He could feel just how tired you were, he wouldn’t leave you now.
He met the gaze of the nurse, saying, “No. My wife still needs me here.” You let out a noise of gratitude, heavy pants still escaping your lips. The parents watched the cord be snipped, the little girl be wiped down a little before wrapped in a soft pink blanket - the nurse who had been with you almost the whole time had come forward with the little creature, helping you move down your hospital gown so your baby could rest on your skin and help bonding.
The little girl let out tiny shrieks with all of her breath, face becoming shades darker as your weak hands came to cradle your daughter. She had your beautiful skin tone, a small little thing that would’ve fit in the palms of König’s hands. You tried to hush the baby, calm her, but she kept crying. It wasn’t until he spoke only a few words, “Hello, my little bird.”
She squealed out another cry, her eyes blinking open to display eyes that looked exactly like his. Beautiful gray eyes that would follow him for years, little hands that he would hold for years to come. The baby began to calm down as soon as her eyes opened, blinking slowly up to look at König before her gaze landed on you.
Her little hand moved towards your head, but it didn’t raise from your sweaty skin. Her eyes watched you as a small yet exhausted smile appeared on your lips, one that König wouldn’t see until later when one of the nurses shows him the picture. All he would know of was the little coo his daughter made as you whispered, “Hello, sweetheart.”
“Sie ist schön, just like her mama.” He murmured, keeping his hands on your sides. He felt that he was almost too big to touch the baby on his wife’s chest - she was a normal sized baby, but he was still so overly conscious of his size. He didn’t ever want to hurt the little creature he met only moments ago.
“What did you name her, my love?” He was brought out of his head by the sound of your voice, the little girl’s eyes never moved from your face.
He pressed his lips to your hair. “Avis.”
“And her middle name will be Amelia.”
“Meine Omas Namen?” He chuckled, his hands gently rubbing your sides. “Oh, how no one would ever love me like you.”
Little Avis agreed by letting out a little yawn, eyes fluttered closed. Your head moved to the side, he could clearly see the tears that had fallen since your child had been placed in your grasp. His hand came to your cheeks, a kiss from his lips was planted on your nose.
“We did it.” The breath you were holding escaped your lungs, crystal tears filled your eyes. “Avis Amelia.”
“Look at our daughter. Unsere Tochter.” You gazed back at your beautiful daughter, sniffling before König’s familiar fingers brought your face to look back at his. “You did so well, do not cry these tears, your beautiful face doesn’t need to be tearful.” His thumb traced a tear away from your cheek, gray eyes flickering to meet yours before closing. He leaned forwards to meet his forehead with yours, still brushing away tears. “I will cry them for you.”
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