weird take but I’m fascinated by the use of pronouns in pop music and I think they’re really important and telling

Rammstein in Rennbahn Express - July/August 1997 - Full article + close-up shots.

Rammstein on a big tour of Austria: The RE was there and experienced some because of stories with the German cult band.

Rammstein are not a normal band. Their fans love them madly, their opponents hate them. “We are extreme, and extremes polarize the masses. We simply don't have anything very nice….” says bassist Oliver in an interview with RE before the show in the Vienna Arena. The fit Berlin industrial rockers used the time before the press dates and the show to visit the Stadionbad (Outdoor swimming pool in Vienna, Austria). Only keyboarder Flake was missing. He didn't show up in Vienna until four - without shoes! “We played in Wels before, and he just disappeared. He has no idea himself where he was, but he was pretty drunk and lost his shoes somewhere,” Oliver later recounts.

This is also the reason why Rammstein are only five at the official RE photo shoot. For minutes they stare at the camera with dark expressions that match the image. But when the RE editor Hannes was bitter about being accepted into the illustrious circle, their faces thawed. "Okay, you're our new keyboardist now," says Till and Richard grins: "You're actually too small and too fat. But your glasses are better than his...” Rammstein live is a very special experience. Singer Till and the guitarists Paul and Richard dominate the "ground floor" of the stage, behind them Flake, Oliver and drummer Christoph are enthroned above their heads. At the open-air performance in the arena, Rammstein were able to live out their love for spectacular fireworks completely. The guitarist, who strums a nice little song on his acoustic guitar at the beginning of the show, is "shot" by a flare — and the band roars off with their brute sound. As an opener they play songs from the 25.8. CD "Sehnsucht" that was released, which was extremely well received by the fans, especially "Bück dich" with its clear and absolutely Rammstein-typical refrain "Bück dich, I don't care about your face. Bend down again". During "Seemann” Flake has the audience carry him over the heads of the crowd in a small inflatable boat. And during the encore "Rammstein", Till stands on fire to the words "One person burns", as it should be...In Innsbruck, Rammstein celebrate the last concert of the Austrian tour - until the inevitable police action due to a nighttime disturbance. But a real Rammstein doesn't care about the police, they simply ignore the authorities, but later decide to move the party back inside.How far the love for the band goes is proven by hardcore fan Christoph Jung, who works as a promotion manager for Rammstein's record company: he has had the lettering tattooed on his upper right arm! “Of course I think the band is very good, but I also like the expression 'Rammstein' as an energetic word. I can identify with that.” The Rammsteiners couldn't believe it at first and rubbed the tattoo. The bass player then said that they are no longer allowed to touch it.” Rammstein will be playing at the underground festival in Wels on July 13th, and they are expected to tour Austria again in the fall.

Jam Sesh

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

PFTW Era

Smut Oneshot

NC-17

3.3k Words

Warnings in order of appearance: real person fic, alcohol, slight insecurity, fingering, some dirty talk, penetrative sex

Author's Notes:

This is... not my best work. I don't really like anything about it, but instead of wasting any more of my time on it, I'm just publishing it and hoping that my dislike for it is just me being self-critical and not because it's a really bad fic. Normally I'm all for hyping yourself up, but meh, I'm just not feeling this one, and that's okay because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Hope you like it though lmao

He answers the studio door and pulls you in for a hug, which is a little awkward with the guitar on your back, but you make it work. "Y/N!" He exclaims happily.

You're a little surprised that he answered the door and didn't accidentally get caught up in his work. It's not like Brendon would purposefully stand you up; he's just a little bit of a mess sometimes. But he looks happy to see you, and that's all that matters. He motions you inside, and you follow him, collapsing on the couch next to his desk.

"Beer me, Brendon!" You request, and he does, grabbing a beer from the mini-fridge in the corner of the studio and handing you the tall silver can. You wrinkle your nose. "How successful does the band have to get for you to stop buying Coors light?"

"Hey! I like Coors light," he defends, grabbing yours and replacing it with a pretentious-looking IPA. "There you go, a fancy beer because you're my guest."

"Thank you. I'm sure it'll still taste like stale piss, but now it'll taste like fancy stale piss." You joke, taking your guitar out of its case.

He laughs and takes a sip of the beer he stole from you. "Oh shit, is that new?" He gestures to your guitar. "I haven't seen it before."

"New to me. I found it at a thrift shop for 20 bucks, but it barely looks used and look, it's a fender," you say, handing him the guitar.

"Woah, Y/N, this is a find," he says, playing a few chords.

You take your guitar back and start messing around on it yourself. Brendon makes his way over to the drums and starts playing along with you. You try not to ogle or anything, but he looks fucking good giving his all to the instrument. Almost makes you wonder how he'd be in bed... intense, totally in-control. Shit, you need to stop letting your mind wander; you're just as bad as the throngs of thirsty fans. Plus, you came here to play guitar with one of the most talented musicians you know, you shouldn't let your hormones get the better of you.

After a while, you start getting hot in the stuffy studio and stand up to take your jacket and shirt off, leaving you in a white tank top. That helps for a bit, but the heat is still getting to you. "Hey, B, I'm getting hot in here. Do you mind if we go outside?"

Ever since you took your jacket off, he's been laser-focused on the drum-kit, so you're not sure he hears you at first.

"B?" You repeat.

He stops his drumming but doesn't stand up. "Oh yeah, no problem, let me just tidy up the studio a bit. Can you bring the guitars out?"

"Yeah, sure," you step out of the studio with the guitar you brought and one of his acoustic ones, but when you step out of the studio, you notice dark clouds coming towards the house.

"I think it could rain; we probably should leave the instruments inside, just in case," you tell him, walking back into the studio and leaving the guitars on the couch. You notice that he's still sitting behind the drums, his head in his hands. "Hey, Brendon, you feeling okay?"

He waves you off with a laugh, still not really looking at you. "Yeah, yeah, I'm great. Just a little headache; I'm probably dehydrated. I'll bring out some waters with the next round of beers."

"Okay, if you say you're fine, I'll wait for you outside," you say suspiciously, leaving the studio.

You settle into the outdoor sitting area, kicking your feet up on the coffee table. Brendon comes out with two more beers and two water bottles, still looking a bit distressed.

"Sorry, I cut our jam session short," you apologize, as he sits in the chair across from you and crosses his legs.

"What? Are you kidding me? We were at it for hours," you swear he blushes after he says that, but he's probably flushed from drumming, "and even if it was cut off, I just wanna hang out with you, no matter what we're doing."

"Aww, I'm so glad we're friends. Ooo, and now that we have time to talk, you can tell me all about that tour story that you didn't want to write out in an email."

You two exchange stories for another half hour, but Brendon still looks pink even after he hasn't been drumming for a while now.

"Hey, you still look really hot. You wanna jump in the pool? I don't have a swimsuit, but I could just wear my tank top and panties and then change back into my t-shirt and shorts after," You suggest. He looks a little panicked if you interpret correctly, but you're not sure why. And he's getting redder but the second. "Brendon, you look really flushed; you should cool off."

He laughs, but you don't get the joke. "I actually think I should get into the air-conditioning, we could watch a movie? Plus, those dark clouds are getting awfully close. We'll get rained-on as soon as we hit the water." Sure enough, as soon as he says that, the sky opens up, and it starts pouring. You both dash through the rain to the house. He unlocks the door, and you both go inside, laughing.

Your top is positively soaked through, and you're shivering in the cold house. "You mind if I shower real fast? I don't want to catch a chill."

Brendon is looking at something behind your head, not meeting your eyes. "Well, um, you could, um, shower here. But wouldn't you rather be all comfy at home?"

"Would I rather drive through LA traffic in the rain in wet clothes than take a warm shower in your mansion? No. I'm gonna shower." You turn around, walking into his bedroom and then deeper into the en-suite bathroom. His shower is large and fancy, and you almost don't want to get out once you're sufficiently warm. You do though, it is a drought, after all. You wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and then rummage around his bedroom for dry clothes. He clearly needs to do laundry because his drawers are sparse, and his hamper is overflowing. Still, you manage to find a long t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to wear underneath.

Brendon walks in and freezes when he sees you. "Are you," he trails off, takes a deep breath, and then starts again, "are you wearing my underwear?" He eyes the black briefs you stole that are peeking out from under the t-shirt you also stole from him.

"Yeah," you say dismissively, putting your wet clothes in your purse.

"Y/N," he says exasperatedly.

"Mm? Something wrong?"

"Something wrong? Y/N, you're wearing my underwear!"

"So?"

"So my dick has been in them!"

You turn to look at him, rolling your eyes. "Your dick has been in your hands, too, but it's not a big deal because, like your underwear, I presume you wash them." He gives you a look that tells you he's not convinced. "Plus, you loaned me sweatpants after I ripped my shorts a couple of weeks ago, and are you honestly telling me your dick has never been in those?"

"That's different!"

"It is not." He gives you another exasperated look. "Okay, if it's that big of a deal, then I'll take them off, geez," you relent, tugging on the bottom of the underwear.

"Ahh!" He exclaims, turning his head, shielding his eyes, and waving his other arm in your general direction as if to ward you off. "Let's all keep our clothes on."

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being so squirrely? Does my gross body really freak you out that much?" You accuse.

His eyes widen. "Shit, no, I love your gross body, fuck, I mean, I love your perfectly normal body," he stutters while you stare in silence.

"You've made your point," you say, not bothering to hide the offense in your voice. You grab your bag and storm out of his bedroom.

"Y/N, wait," he calls.

You stop and whip around to face him, "You've been weird around me all day, Brendon! When I took my jacket off in the studio, your eyes were glued to your drums! When I said we should swim, you offered to watch a fucking movie instead! When my shirt was soaked through, you looked right past me at the wall! When I asked to shower in your house, you nearly kicked me out! And now you're having fucking conniptions over your underwear!" You shout. "Brendon, I know, believe me, I know, that I don't look like your other LA friends. That I'm not model-skinny or anything, but god, you could put some effort into not making me feel like a freak."

Brendon furrows his brows. "Y/N, of course, I don't think you're a freak."

"Oh really? Because Nicole has been buck-naked right in front of you, and you didn't bat an eye, but apparently, the sight of my arms without a jacket is so disgusting that you can't look at me." Tears are streaming down your face now.

His face falls, and he rushes towards you, "Y/N, sweet girl, oh my god, no, no, that's not it at all. I," his voice trembles, "like you," he says quietly.

You scrunch your face in confusion. "Brendon, of course, you like me; we're friends, but that doesn't make any of your behavior today acceptable."

"Are you really going to make me spell it out?" he asks. "I am attracted to you. Very attracted to you. And this whole day, I've just been trying not to get aroused by the sight of you because that's gross and objectifying and disrespectful, so I've been staring at the ground and thinking about Margaret Thatcher naked so I didn't have to go jerk off in the studio bathroom," he confesses.

"Oh."

"And now I've made things awkward," he rubs the back of his neck. "So, um, see you later, you can keep my clothes. I won't need them back. Probably do something creepy with them once you gave them back anyway. Er, that was a joke. I should shut up."

Your offense and then confusion morph into understanding and then shock and delight. "Yeah, you fucking doofus," you laugh. "You absolutely should shut up."

You take two steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you, and grab his chin. You lean in, and your lips meet his without any reservation. He kisses back, unsure. Then, you take more initiative, looping your arm around his back and pulling him against you.

Brendon stays tentative but enthusiastic, letting you take the lead. "Fuck. Margaret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked," he chants against your lips.

"How's that distraction working out for you?" You ask knowingly, pressing your hips against his.

His cheeks warm, and must be blushing. "I think you can feel as well I do that it's working out poorly." He's trying to make a joke, but he's right. You can feel him hardening against you as you kiss. You finally remove your lips from his but keep yourself pressed against him. He turns his face away, blushing like you suspected, and grinning from ear-to-ear.

You run your hand down the side of his face. "For what it's worth, I'm very attracted to you too, if you didn't pick up on that already. Probably why I was so upset," you say softly, "I can leave if you want to be responsible and take this slow," you offer. "Or," you trace the hand from his face down his neck to his chest, "you could take me back to your bedroom and apologize for hurting my feelings." You fake a pout.

Brendon's eyes darken, and he grabs your hand to practically drag you into his bedroom. He slams the door behind you, pinning you against it. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay," you breathe out, and he kisses you hard. You reciprocate, not caring how sloppy and desperate you feel with your probing tongues and clashing teeth. He parts to breathe and then buries his face in your neck, nipping and kissing. You tremble, grateful for the door behind you, so you don't collapse. One of his hands is above your head, supporting himself against the door, and the other is on your hip. He plays with the waistband of the briefs you're wearing, a silent plea for permission.

"Touch me," you beg, and he doesn't feign any confusion, just slips his hand under the fabric and strokes your swollen clit with his index finger. You moan, trying to ask for more, but your vocal cords aren't working. He seems to understand, though, because he moves his hand back to gently slide his middle and ring finger inside you. Instead of thrusting them like you expect, he curls them and rubs against your g-spot. At the same time, he's still stroking your clit, now with his thumb, and kissing you. His coordination is crazy good, but it makes sense with all the instruments he plays. Your core is starting to feel warm and buzzy, and you're only half-shocked that he's coaxing an orgasm from you so soon. You don't know how you're still standing; your knees are weak, and your brain feels like it's filled with a static of lust and pleasure.

Brendon feels you tightening around his fingers and speeds up ever-so-slightly. The small part of you that's still lucid feels his dick, hard and pressing against you where your bodies meet. He isn't rutting or grinding against you, just keeping you pinned against the wall with his hips, and somehow the self-control is even hotter. He presses harder on your clit, and that does it. Your orgasm explodes through you, soaking the underwear you're wearing. Your legs turn to jelly, and you slump forward onto Brendon, who supports your dead weight easily. "That's it, come for me," he coaxes softly. You bury your face into him, feeling blissed-out and overstimulated all at once, unable to do anything but ride it out.

"Y/N, darling, can you move over to the bed with me?"

You nod, letting him support you as you take small steps to his bed in the middle of the room.

"Good girl. Can't believe this is really happening; I can't believe I get to touch you. Dreamed about you for so long," he marvels.

You crawl into his bed, settling back onto your knees. "Dreamed about you too," you admit. "God, can I take my shirt off, Brendon?"

"Pretty sure that's my shirt, actually."

You giggle. "Well then, can I take your shirt off?" You wink, regaining your composure.

He laughs. "Yes, please. In both senses, take my clothes off."

You pull off the t-shirt you're wearing and throw it on the ground, exposing your stomach and breasts to his hungry eyes. His chest rises and falls quickly as he soaks you in silently, trying to get control of himself. "I like looking at you in my underwear." His voice is gravelly.

"Well, wouldn't you rather look at me without your underwear?" you offer.

He swallows and nods. You strip completely. You know your cunt is shiny with your juices, and you're pretty sure that's what's caught his attention. Brendon takes his shirt off, and now it's your turn to stare. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his jeans before taking them and his underwear off. His leaking cock settles against his stomach. He approaches the bed and gets in next to you, rolling on his side to face you.

"Fuck me," you moan, grasping his erection and stroking.

Brendon lets out a choked sound and gropes around the nightstand for a condom. He grabs one and hands it to you to roll on him. You spread your legs in expectation, and he takes the cue to enter you. He slides in easily with how wet and ready you are for him. You don't wait for him to start thrusting; you're too impatient. Instead, you rock your hips up to meet him. He hisses, not expecting the motion, and tenses his entire body to stay in control. It feels like it takes him forever, but eventually, he starts moving, slowly dragging his cock up and down. You squeeze your legs together to better feel him, and he hisses before his thrusts quicken, already working desperately towards release.

You can practically feel the veins running across him. "You're so much thicker than I would've guessed. Fill me up so nicely," you tell him. He throbs at your words, and you suspect the praise is turning him on even more, so when his hips snap forward perfectly into your g-spot, you praise him again. "So good, B, keep this angle, please." Your suspicions are mostly confirmed when he moans, and his thrusts falter a bit as a wave of pleasure washes over him. His hand moves to stroke your nipple while he supports himself with his other arm to avoid crushing you. You move your hand between your bodies to touch your clit, but instead, decide to form your fingers in a V and feel him moving between them instead. He hisses at the new sensation, and you love affecting him with your touch.

You finally do move your other hand to rub your clit, fast and hard. There are so many different pleasure points being activated on your body that you don't know what to focus on, so you don't focus on any; just let all the feelings meld into one as you lay back and mostly let Brendon do all the work. And god is he working hard; his muscles are tense and shiny with exertion, his head is thrown back with an expression of sheer bliss on his face, and his thrusts are unrelenting. Not to mention the hand still fondling your breast. He's gorgeous, too caught up in fucking you to muster any speech. You'd feel bad that he's putting so much effort in while you just get to lie back, touch yourself, and meet his thrusts when you can if he didn't seem so deeply gratified himself. Not only is the friction around his cock divine, but he also loves getting to pleasure you. Seeing your mouth fall open, unable to keep moans from escaping. The sex is messy and unrefined, neither of you quite knowing how to drive the other crazy yet, but pulling out every trick you can think of. You feel like a gamer smashing all the buttons to see what will work.

Despite the usual LA climate, the rain outside is pouring harder, and it's adding to the intensity and frenzy you both feel. "Shit, I'm close to coming," he groans.

"Hang on for me a little longer, Brendon, please. Just five more minutes," you plead. Admittedly, you could come too, but you only get one first time with Brendon, and you don't want it to end. He cranes his neck to suck behind your ear, clearly trying to get you to come faster.

"No fair, you already came," he complains, moving your hands out of the way to rub your clit himself. You use your free hands to play with your nipples, now rock hard from the constant stimulation.

"Shit, okay, come," you allow. As you say it, the first clap of thunder booms through the house. He sighs in relief, kissing you deeply as he lets himself go, getting lost in euphoria. You love feeling his hot come gather in the condom, and it triggers your own orgasm. You shriek as your second orgasm of the day is more intense than the first, and you're pretty sure you soak his bedspread just like you soaked his underwear.

He pulls out quickly and tosses the condom before snuggling up against you. "Guess your weird, gross body is good for something after all," he mumbles against your neck, already falling asleep.

"Hm, if only we could find a good use for yours," you retort, wrapping yourself around him.

Kerrang Issue #1103 (Sources 1, 2)

Photo Credit: Jeremy Harris

Magazine Release Date: 2006

Issue Label: April 15th, 2006

Transcription below the cut  (translated by google from Spanish):

You're not in this alone

April 15, 2006

Kerrang April 15th, 2006

Lostprophets & My Chemical Romance 

When it comes to million dollar studios / mansions, Los Angeles, where My Chemical Romance is currently doing pre-production for their new - and as yet untitled - album, is very impressive. Built in 1920 for a silent film star, it is covered in such a way as to simulate an Asian palace, with panoramic views of the city, an outdoor swimming pool, acres of gardens, and - according to vocalist Gerard Way - a ghost that opens and closes doors and even takes baths. Gerard crawled out of bed at noon as his old friend, Ian Watkins is coming soon. He and the Lostprophets frontman will meet to discuss their future performances on 'Give It A Name' - a festival that will see them perform to 30,000 people in two days.

When Ian appears the two greet each other genuinely affectionate, talking about many things; from Gerard's art to Bono's sunglasses and, of course, the ghost guest Gerard admits to fear. The two singers are pleasant company, laughing, joking and obviously relaxed, interrupting and finishing each other's sentences as close friends usually do.

When did you meet?

Gerard: It was at the Slims, in San Francisco and Lostprophets was running a show with Head Automatica. I didn't know them, so I got on his bus and he was the coolest singer I've ever met.

Haven't you met singers before, back then?

Gerard:I had met a few, but singers are usually weird guys. They often have a 'lead singer vibe' and he didn't have one, he was so kind, respectful and personable.

Ian: We knew his manager because he had toured with bands that we had toured with. Even before the first My Chemical Romance album came out, he was already talking all day about them. He sent me the record when it came out and I used to listen to it all the time, it was fucking awesome. Did they get along immediately? Gerard: Yeah. I think everyone in both bands hit it off right away. They were down to earth guys. We hadn't met anyone as great as them, so it was a huge impression on our band that they had that attitude. Ian:

And after that, we keep crashing at events, anywhere, like in Japan….

Gerard: That is a very funny story! You have to fly everywhere when you play (at the Japanese festival) Summer Sonic; you can't drive because Japan is made of a lot of big islands. This was when he still used to get screwed. It was one of the last times that I was drunk or high, actually… Ian was in front of me on the plane and he was turning around to try to have a conversation with me, but he couldn't.

Ian: I hadn't realized it at first. I was talking about the songs on the album I was thinking about…

Gerard:… And at one point I just thought 'I can't deal with this man'. I felt really bad about that I had already thrown up more than I had ever seen in my damn life while trying to get my pills; we were sharing a bus on the way to the plane. I must have looked like the most broke asshole. I was ashamed all the way.

How often do you get together?

Gerard: I would say once every five months, maybe more often. We always collide.

Ian: Yes, when you go on tours you always bump into someone. The strangest thing was when I was in New York, having a snack ...

Gerard:Oh yeah! And we just meet! We were on our way to a place called 'Toy Tokyo', which is one of our favorite stores. We passed a restaurant and Ian was sitting there hanging out.

Ian: They came by and I was like 'Oh shit!' because it was so unexpected.

Gerard: And then we did a full US tour together and it was fun, but Lostprophets was still on the UK schedule, so they would fall asleep on the bus at odd hours and stay up all night.

Ian: That was before the My Chemical Romance record took off, so it was before they became rock stars! But it was cool because we did our own shows on off days.

Gerard:Yes, it was fun doing our shows together, because there was always the same vibe.

Do you keep in touch when you are not on tour?

Gerard: Yes, Sidekick! (controlled email senders)

Ian: You're never in yours! He used to be online all day, but now he's very cool for it.

Gerard: I think I changed my username, but I didn't tell anyone, I just hoped they would notice! So no one talks to me now!

They grew up in places as remote as New Jersey and Wales, what common areas do they share?

Ian: I think we are both working class.

Gerard:When you come from a working class place, you have to leave soon or you will be stuck there forever. Jersey is definitely that kind of place. It's very different if you live somewhere in Los Angeles…

Ian: You don't need to try here, you can go to clubs and gigs every day in LA. It is very easy to believe that you are someone in LA until you realize that there is a whole world outside. It's like the same as London and New York.

Gerard: Yes, but to come from the places that we come from; Where you have shitty jobs, you realize that you are nobody.

Ian: And if you want to do something, make a difference or at least enjoy life, you really have to work your ass off.

Gerard:What's the most shitty job you had in Wales?

Ian: I worked in Iceland. A frozen food store.

Gerard: Oh wow that's weird because my first shitty job was at a frozen food stand at a supermarket. They're both sober now, but Gerard wasn't when they first met: Did his using drugs and alcohol affect their friendship? Gerard: No Ian: I just didn't realize I had a problem! Gerard: Yes, apart from that plane trip. But even though he had a problem, I think the press made him look worse than he already was. When we did that tour together, I was already clean.

The two are working on new albums. Has either listened to each other's new songs?

Gerard: No. We haven't played anything for anyone.

People are predicting that they will both transcend the rock scene and come back with a more pop album this time. Is there any truth to that?

Gerard: I think that's what they expect us to do! On the other hand, some people may believe that our album will be more aggressive to compensate for that.

Ian: A lot of bands do that and screw themselves up. They succeed and say 'we have to prove that we are real' and confuse being real with being shit.

Gerard:That is completely true. So people might expect a more aggressive record from us, or maybe one that makes a lot less sense. But I wouldn't say it's more pop, although it's prettier.

Did you see a lot of bands growing up?

Gerard: Yes, because our only escape was to go and find the local show. There were two places that I would go, ' The Pipeline ' and ' Studio One '. The latter was completely hardcore, bands like Downset, Madball, Dog eat dog…

Ian: Dog Eat Dog! Dammit!

Gerard:The most taboo thing there was as a teenager was Slayer. The [Anti-obscenity lobby] PMRC was so big in the US that they made it almost impossible to get their records. They thought Slayer was satanic. You couldn't get WASP or Venom records, but Slayer was a sure door to evil! I remember when I got 'South of Heaven'; it made a big impression on me. Have you been in front of any other band performance? Gerard: Not in the mosh zone, but I was on the floor for Slim's once. Most of the time, I watch from the side of the stage. Ian:

Everything is ground at Slim's! That was a great show, because we met there. As I said; We got to know each other before these guys took off, and that's nice because I think meeting them after that would have been kind of weird.

So is it weird to meet bands that are already big?

Ian: Yes, because they don't care. As Gerard was saying, singers sometimes have attitudes and it is strange to meet a successful band that is still humble. I don't think My Chemical Romance would have been like that but bands get very reluctant when meeting people. They think 'you only want to be my friend because you want something.' It was great meeting Gerard before they grew up, because I know our friendship is honest.

Do things change when you get to the same level as other bands?

Ian: If we played in the US now, My Chemical Romance would top the list, whereas last time we were on them, but that's okay.

Gerard: Yes, when you go out with a band that you love, there is respect and it shows on stage. But if you play with a band that you don't respect, then you go out and destroy them.

Ian: And it's not like we release two albums at the same time. We left and their time came.

So what if both albums were out at the same time? Would they be aware of the other's sales position?

Gerard: Well we're both rock bands, but we offer something very different to people, so I don't feel in competition with these guys.

Ian:If they were assholes it would be horrible to see them get so successful, because it sucks to see idiots doing well. The only thing they do is add to your stupidity! But when you like band music it's always great to see that they do well.

Gerard: Yes, you will always be supporting your friends even if they are kicking your ass!

Ian: And if they're kicking your butt, it just makes you work harder- It's not a sour rivalry, it's a great thing -a friendship and respect.

My Favorite My Chemical Romance Song (by Ian Watkins)

I love 'You know what they do to guys like us in prison'. The first time I listened to their second album, that song grabbed me as soon as it started playing. It had some really cool changes; the way it starts off with a piano staccato, and the lyrics are fantastic. It conjured up a lot of images and I liked the fact that the verse is on the piano.

My Favorite Lostprophets Song (by Gerard Way)

It's easily 'Last Train Home'! When we were working on Three Cheers for sweet revenge, that damn video came out every five minutes and no one could help but sing it. We were saying 'Man, this is great!' I think the chorus is really beautiful. They weren't trying to capitalize on some kind of junk-young culture, the song really meant something, especially when they were playing it live. If someone is really honest with a song, it will always become a favorite song, and that one really stood out.

Translation: Liz

The Missing Piece (Chapter 8)

Anxiety.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x female oc, lov, other original characters

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

I'm sure Mr. Lane has seen me.

With a groan, I take Dabi aside.

"You can go ahead, sir." I tell him quickly, glancing behind me to see if they're watching me.

Dabi looks over my shoulder.

"Is that what's-his-face?"

I shoot Dabi a look and gesture toward Aliyah. We may be friends but I didn't tell her the real reason I left NNTV. She thinks work became too stressful and I needed a break.

She doesn't know about the argument me and Mr. Lane had after I discovered his support of the Todorokis. Or about his cutting my salary and threatening to fire me.

Besides, bad mouthing a former employer is horrible professionalism.

"It's Mr. Lane. Go, go," I try shoo-ing him away. "I'll see you tomorrow sir."

But Dabi doesn't budge.

His eyes are trained on mine.

"I don't like that look on your face."

I groan. "What look? Sir it's just-"

"Like you're uncomfortable."

The comment catches me off guard and I quickly avert my gaze.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I say quietly. "These are my friends."

But that only seems to make him more determined. Dabi turns to face me completely, his feet firmly planted in the ground and his hands tucked coolly in the pockets of his pants. He doesn't look interested in listening right now.

"What are you worried about?" He asks. "Is it him?"

I run an anguished hand through my hair. "Sir please. Please. What happened to not asking about our private matters?"

I don't want Dabi and Mr. Lane meeting. Especially considering how our last conversation went. I didn't tell Mr. Lane I was working for the Blaze, and considering how salty he was that I left after all these years, facing him once again fills me with anxiety.

"Alright I won't ask you," Dabi ignores me. "I'll find out from him."

My eyes widen and I pull him back before he could make his way toward Mr. Lane. Aliyah went to bring Mr. Lane to say hi. I feel my chest get tighter when I see him getting closer.

"See? I don't like that." Dabi eyes me with concern. He tsks and pulls a box from his back pocket. He tries to hand me a cigarette but I shake my head quickly.

Mr. Lane doesn't know I smoke.

And with the amount of anxiety pooling in my gut, it wouldn't even help.

Dabi shrugs, no longer facing me.

"I'm here," He says. The ice in his voice from earlier is gone. I look at him once more before Mr. Lane gets within earshot.

He gives me a small nod and reaches for me, his hand brushing against the small of my back in a way that sends electricity up my spine. "He's not your boss anymore. He has no power over you."

I nod and plaster a fake smile on my face as the short man approaches us.

I hope it's enough to hide my thundering heart.

"Ms. Aoki," His voice sounds as insufferable as ever. "Fancy meeting you here."

I nod my head in respect. "Mr. Lane. It's nice to see you so soon."

As if!

But already, his attention is off of me. Instead, he eyes Dabi up and down.

"Is this your partner?" He asks.

My face heats up immediately. "Oh - no sir. This is my, um - my new boss. Mr. Dabi?"

Just as I expected, Mr. Lane's expression darkens immediately.

I expect Dabi to extend a hand out for formalities. But his hands remains in his pockets. He merely gives him a nod in acknowledgement.

"So you've found a new company after all." Mr. Lane comments coldly.

"Yes. Yes sir."

"What's the name of your company, Mr. Dabi?"

"The Blaze." Dabi says. "I do luxury trading. Rina told me she previously worked for a broadcasting company - what was it called again?"

Mr. Lane's face hardens. "NNTV. We're a leading force in the industry-"

"Right, right. That company that always underperforms?" He asks apologetically.

Me and Aliyah gasp, glancing cautiously at Mr. Lane.

"I have a friend that works at CBS, you see."

There's a smile on Dabi's face.

"I haven't even heard of your company," Mr. Lane quickly counters, evil in his eyes. "When Ms. Aoki abandoned us in such a manner, I assumed she'd join a better known business."

"I'm not surprised you haven't heard of us," Dabi sighs, that same mocking tone in his voice. "You see, we cater to a highly exclusive audience."

Aliyah mouth drops behind Mr. Lane, looking extremely amused. I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes the subject of tomorrow's lunchtime gossip.

"I see," Mr. Lane smiles at Dabi but it is anything but friendly. "Anyway. Careful with this one." He tells Dabi. "She's loyal to the - " He rubs his fingers to his thumb to indicate money. "It doesn't matter how well you treat her, if she finds a better offer she'll run off on you. Looking at you now," Mr. Lane sizes him up. "it probably won't take long."

I didn't leave because of money you piece of shit! If you actually saw me as a person, you'd know that!

I feel Aliyah's eyes on me in surprise.

Great.

Now she thinks I'm making more money and keeping things from her.

I don't face her.

"Hm," Dabi says. "What do you define as a better offer? Because we certainly don't pay-"

Don't say that! I think frantically.

I clear my throat.

Dabi looks at me quizzically. But he understands soon enough.

"...her what she's worth. With how well she's driven up sales this past month, she certainly deserves every penny."

"With all due respect," Mr. Lane smiles apologetically, venom lacing his words. "A secretary who intervenes in your business, gives unsolicited advice, and tries to control decision making is not worth her price. There are many other qualified secretaries who will drive up sales, and do it better than she can."

I feel my heart fall.

Of course he would say that.

Mr. Lane thinks of me as disloyal now. Leaving NNTV so suddenly after all these years, I knew it would matter more to him than he let on during our last meeting.

He doesn't exactly tolerate betrayal. And being his secretary for so long, I've seen how he treats former employees enough to know how vicious he can be.

That's why I didn't want him and Dabi to meet.

My face reddens immensely at the mention of my frequent "interventions" and "unsolicited advice". Because Mr. Lane doesn't believe in teams, he believes in workers who do as they're told. That's it.

But considering how much Dabi cares about his space, the comment fills me with anxiety.

Especially given the conversation we had today.

Will he think this is a pattern now? Will it drive him further away from me - cause his lack of trust in me to balloon even more?

There's an uncomfortable feeling in my gut as my mind questions all these possibilities. I wish Aliyah hadn't seen me.

No.

I wish I just told Dabi I was busy when he asked me for dinner. I hesitantly glance at him, searching for any indication of how he's receiving this.

There's embarrassment written all over my face.

However, Dabi's expression doesn't change. He remains aloof.

Although on closer inspection, I think I see his jaw clench.

I feel my eyes water. Is he angry with me?

He should be.

Perhaps I am too talkative and opinionated for a secretary.

But Dabi's response makes me furrow my brows in confusion.

"She was a member of your team. Of course she would advise you. And intervene as necessary."

My eyes widen.

"It's as much her company as it is mine, so I do hope she does more of that for us in the future."

I look at Dabi in surprise, trying to figure him out. Doesn't he hate it when people intervene in his business though? Is he just saying this in front of Mr. Lane?

That's gotta be it.

Regardless, I'm grateful that he hasn't thrown me under the bus, using me as conversation material. Anyone else would happily listen and even share their own criticism of me to keep the conversation going. Especially considering Mr. Lane is realistically the more powerful CEO of the two. Anyone would say anything to get on his good side.

And part of me feels like Mr. Lane used me in order to shift to Dabi's good side too. After all, what manager doesn't love critiquing his employees?

Only Dabi didn't take the bait.

"I suppose I should thank you actually," Dabi continues, the height difference only further emphasizing the power imbalance in the conversation. Mr. Lane looks small for the first time ever, as he stands there looking up at Dabi. "If you hadn't let her go, our company wouldn't be in the place it is today. She's extremely capable, as you know. And such an agreeable team player, as well."

But instead of responding, Mr. Lane focuses on me with those murderous eyes.

As if it's my fault he was humiliated tonight.

How dare I go on to build up someone else's company. How dare I not cry and beg him to take me back, that I was sorry and have learned from my mistake. That I would never challenge his decisions again and be the loyal, silent employee he expects me to be.

I shrink under his stare, and before I know it, Dabi's hand is once again on my back.

He has no power over you.

I take a deep breath. "Unfortunately, Mr. Dabi has a prior engagement and we don't want to be late." I tell Mr. Lane. "But thank you for coming over personally to say hello. Hopefully, an opportunity for us to meet again arises in the future."

Mr. Lane nods coldly and walks away. He didn't even shake our hands before he left. Aliyah smiles at us apologetically and comes to hug me once again.

"He's a good man," She whispers in my ear. When she pulls away, she gives me a sly wink and my face reddens. She shakes Dabi's hand before she hurries behind Mr. Lane to the outdoor seating area where the rest of NNTV's administration and senior employees lounge.

And Dabi and I are alone once again.

playing games

Hot summer days are meant for playing games  6k, basically all smut lol whoops

Disclaimer: I’ve created a whole OC character for Grayson in the past year or so, just as a creative outlet, and never really intended on posting it anywhere. Like, at all lol, so on the off chance anyone actually reads this, go easy on me please. If something seems like it doesn’t make sense or needs more background, it’s because it’s already written in the deep recesses of my Pages documents lol.

If you do read, thank you so much! Creative writing, especially fanfics, have always been my creative stress relief, so this is all in good fun. I’m definitely not attached to only this character, though, so if you don’t think this is complete dog shit and want to see other concepts, I’d love to do that! :)

***

There are a lot of negatives to be said about LA, as MJ had learned quickly when she moved here a few years ago from her home state of Oklahoma: the stuck-up snobs; the traffic; the dirty streets everywhere you go. One thing not on that list, however, is the weather — nine times out of ten it’s perfectly sunny and warm.

Today is one of those days where it’s borderline hot, but still comfortable to sit outside and bake in the sun for a couple of hours. That’s what she and Grayson are doing as they lounge peacefully by the pool in his backyard, soaking in all the Vitamin D that mother nature can give them.

MJ welcomes the blast of heat from the outside air that contrasts harshly with the AC she leaves behind in the kitchen. She had gone in to grab the two of them glasses of water and, while she was in there, noticed the house was oddly silent.

She plants a peck on her boyfriend’s full lips as he accepts his glass with a thanks. “Where are the E’s?” she asks, referring to Grayson’s brother Ethan and his girlfriend Evie. They were both still home when she and Gray first went outside, but a quick glance at her phone tells her they’ve been out here for over an hour, so that really means nothing now.

“I think they were gonna take a Soul class and then have a beach day,” Grayson answers. He sits up a bit to take a sip of his water, and MJ can’t help but admire the way his abs, slick with tanning oil, contract deliciously at the movement. They’ve been together for nearly a year now, and she still can’t get enough of his physique. Amongst other traits of his too, of course, but in the context of lying in the warm sun surrounded by the sheen of coconut-scented body oil, it’s what comes to mind first.

Not to mention, he’s wearing her favorite swim trunks of his — the ones she had bought him — that not only make his olive skin tone pop because of their bright turquoise color, but the fit hugs his ass (and dick) in all the right ways.

Clearly, she’s doing a piss-poor job at hiding her ogling, though to be fair she isn’t trying all that hard to begin with.

He smirks at her. “Can I help you?” he teases, knowing damn well what’s going through her head.

MJ flushes when she realizes she’s been caught, but quickly decides two can play this game. She bends over him and only lets him steal a quick glance at her ample cleavage in her bikini before taking hold of his face in both hands and kissing him.

“You’re sexy,” she admits simply when they part, smiling and wiping a dab of saliva from his lower lip with her thumb.

He swats the exposed skin of her ass lightly when she turns to walk the couple of feet away to her own lounger. She yelps in surprise, which melts into giggles. “Not as sexy as you.” She rolls her eyes playfully and blushes at this, though he can’t see her doing so behind her oversized black sunglasses and the shade of her baseball cap. “I mean, come on, MJ, they’re just muscles,” he says with smug grin.

He’s so full of shit today. MJ scoffs and settles into the chair, not quite believing her ears but also realizing he’s still teasing her. “Okay, Gray.”

She glances over at him and sees him rubbing his thighs, something he knows always gets her going, under the guise of applying more sunscreen. The audacity. She knows it’s intentional by the way he’s biting back a grin and stealing glimpses at her out of the corner of his eye.

Oh, so he still wants to play this game? Apparently ten months together hasn’t clued him in that she is just as competitive as he is, even in stupid things like ‘who can make the other person hornier.’

She forms a quick plan. MJ pretends like she’s oblivious to his nonverbal taunts and reaches out her hand for the bottle of Sun Bum. “So the E’s will be out for a while?”

Grayson stops his ministrations to hand her the slick brown bottle. “As far as I know. Why?” he asks, lying back in his lounger and pillowing his head on his hands. The way his arms curl send his biceps and shoulders bulging, another one of her physical weaknesses for him.

Douche.

“Just wondering,” she answers casually. MJ reaches behind her to raise the back of the lounger that is almost completely flat, higher up so that it can keep her in a relaxed sitting position.

Using his physical teasing as fuel to gather her nerve, she next twists her arm behind her back and tugs at the tie on the thick straps of her cherry red bikini, then does the same to the one around her neck. Even though they’re on private property, in an enclosed yard where no one can see, it still feels a little odd and uncomfortable to be even partially nude outdoors. But if it gets her points in this game against Gray, she decides it’s totally worth it.

When she tosses the scrap of fabric to the ground, the rustling causes him to look over and do a double take. “What—?”

MJ looks at him innocently, but grins devilishly inside; boys really are too easy, sometimes. “What, what?” she questions, spraying some of the tanning oil into her hands.

Grayson shakes his head at her and she can feel his gaze, hotter than the rays of the sun on her newly exposed skin, bore into her through his Ray Bans. “I see. So it’s like that, huh?”

“I don't know what you’re talking about. They’re just boobs,” she counters, throwing a variation of his own words back in his beautiful, annoyingly perfect face. Grayson scoffs at her incredulously, and MJ doesn’t even attempt to hold back a victorious smirk. She’s definitely won this battle, and she hasn't even brought out all the ammo. Yet. “For real, though, we basically live together; you see these every day.”

Grayson tosses a hand up and shakes his head like she had just said something ridiculous. “You see me shirtless every day and still look like you want to jump me all the time, so how is that any different?”

He has a point and he knows it, but he’s an idiot if he thinks she’ll admit so. MJ shrugs. “Anyways,” she continues, ignoring his comment, “I’m just trying to get rid of tan lines. And it’s only us here, so who cares?”

“What if they come back?” Grayson argues weakly, still trying to appear nonchalant about his half-naked girlfriend gleaming in the summer sun just three feet away from him.

MJ shrugs again. “We can hear them coming up the driveway from here, so I’ll just cover up when we do. Also, it’s not like Ethan’s never encountered boobs before, and I’m pretty sure Evie and I have seen each other naked more times at this point than you and E have each other.”

He looks a little affronted. “I’m not sure if thats weird or kinda hot, actually.”

She rolls her eyes again but fights back a smile at his somewhat predictable response. “Don’t be weird. Girls generally just don’t give a fuck with each other,” she explains.

“Well, I still don't want my brother peeping your goods; they’re mine.”

MJ should be irritated at his possessiveness, but admittedly she finds it a little endearing — not to mention, she loves when she drives him to be dominant, especially when she knows she’s really the one in control here. She thinks back to the couple of times Ethan had barged in on them in the bedroom on accident and how Grayson always made sure his body was completely shielding hers while he screamed at his brother to get the fuck out. Ethan clearly wasn’t a threat, but Grayson always made her feel safe and secure either way.

It also isn’t like she wants E to see her tits either, but it won't be the end of the world if he does, especially if the risk of it gets Grayson so riled up for her that he’ll think twice before teasing her like this again.

MJ’s got him hooked now and she knows it, so really she doesn’t need to take the final step in her plan. But thinking about his deliberate words and touches gets the competitive fire lit inside her again.

Taking the oil in her hands, she massages it into the supple flesh of her breasts that were, indeed, several shades lighter than the surrounding skin. Her tits jiggle enticingly and her nipples harden a bit at the pleasurable stimulation caused by her own touch; his sunglasses are still on, but she knows he can see the effect she’s having on herself.

“Fuck, MJ,” Grayson finally groans in defeat. He sits up in his lounger and plants his left foot to the ground, utilizing his long legs to pivot over to her chair and straddle the end of the cushioned seat in one movement. His large hands stroke the smooth skin of her calves that are bent in front of him, his eyes glued to the way she’s touching herself. “You win, okay? I’m sorry for teasing you.”

MJ smiles at him, her ego at soaring. She can tell his hands are itching to reach for hers and replace them. He hadn’t lied that first time they met — he really is a boob man, to the tee. Even in non-sexual situations, like whenever they spoon while sleeping or watching a movie, his hand automatically goes under her shirt to cup one.

“I really do want to get rid of these tan lines, though,” MJ tells him, feigning innocence while simultaneously trying to ignore the way her body is reacting to him being right in front of her, touching her. Unfortunately, there is no denying the rush of wetness to her bikini bottoms. She finishes rubbing the oil into her skin and cups her breasts as if he’s blind and can’t see what she’s talking about. “This is really not cute, what I’ve got going on here.”

Grayson scoots farther up the lounger and cups his hands under her bent knees to drag her into his lap. MJ gasps in surprise and hooks her elbow around the back of his neck to balance herself after his forcible movement of her body. He ducks his head down and kisses her, tongue meshing with hers perfectly and exploring her mouth just the way she likes.

“How about we do something more fun than just lay here while you work on that, then?” he pants when they separate. She nips distractedly at the juicy center of his full lower lip in reply, eliciting a low, rumbling growl from him. He plants kisses across her jaw, down her neck, and back up to the spot behind her ear that makes her putty in his hands.

MJ bites her lip to hold back any sounds, not wanting to give him the satisfaction just yet of letting him know he can do whatever he wants with her at this point. “You were just giving me shit because your brother might walk out here and see my boobs, but now you wanna actually fuck outside?”

She actually didn't hate that idea at all, to be fair.

“Yeah,” he says simply, like there’s nothing to it. “I’ve never done it outside, now that I think about it. Besides our first time, anyways, but that was still in a tent so technically it wasn't ‘outside.’”

This surprises her. Despite his young age, there aren’t a whole lot of opportunities for ‘firsts’ with Grayson, given his past ways. She isn’t about to let this chance slip because of a relatively minor, albeit highly embarrassing, what-if.

MJ grins. She takes her baseball cap off and puts it on his own head, backwards so she can have full access to his pretty face. Not to mention, she definitely has a kink for it that way. She rolls her hips down against his, pleased to feel him semi-hard already.

“Okay,” she agrees easily, using her grip on his neck to bring his lips down to hers once again.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of kissing Grayson; the man has the act down to a fine art. And as irritated as she had been with him only a few minutes ago, she now feels an overwhelming need to please him as much as he so often does her.

“Sit down,” she whispers directly in his ear, motioning behind her to indicate he should be the one reclining back.

She feels him shudder before obeying. He keeps her securely in his lap by wrapping her legs fully around his waist and stands with her still clinging to him. MJ bites her lip and marvels at the complete lack of effort the shift in position takes for him, and he sits them down where he can rest his back against the lounger.

MJ removes their sunglasses and places them on the ground. “That’s why I love your muscles,” she says, rubbing her covered center along his length and devouring the expression on his face as she does so. Her hands massage delicately across his shoulders and down his biceps as she rocks fluidly on top him. “Forget aesthetics. They’re just evidence that you’re so fucking strong. That you work so hard. That you try to be the best version of you every day.”

She suctions her mouth to the pulse point thumping wildly under his jaw and drags her nails down his pecs, threading her fingers through the patch of hair in the center that he’s allowing to grow. Grayson grabs her ass with one hand to encourage the rocking of her pelvis against his, and squeezes one of her breasts with the other.

“How am I supposed to follow that?” he asks breathlessly and with a huff of laughter, tugging her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

MJ moans softly at the sensation. “Do your best,” she replies with a grin, scraping her teeth along the spot on his jaw before trailing kisses down his throat now.

She feels his hard swallow as he thinks for a second. “Uh, every part of you is so beautiful, and your body is just a reflection of how amazing you are on the inside.”

Wow. MJ laughs incredulously and pulls back to look him in the eye, golden hazel meeting bright green. “I can’t believe you just came up with that romantic ass statement while I’m dry humping you. That’s pretty impressive.”

“I mean, it’s true. And I do aim to please,” he smirks, thrusting up into her.

MJ gasps. Her eyes darken and her tongue subconsciously trails across her lower lip as she stares at her boyfriend heatedly. She cups a tit with her left hand, circling her nipple with her thumb, and grips her fingers into the curls at the back of his neck with her other hand. “I would have been happy with ‘I love your tits because they're the best tits I’ve ever seen, held, or had in my mouth in my entire life.’ But I’ll take your version, too.”

Grayson smiles. “How about, I love you, MJ, every part of you — especially your tits.”

MJ bites back a sappy grin and swears she can feel her heart swelling for him in her chest. “I love you, too,” she sighs, and uses her grasp on his hair to drag him in for a deep kiss.

When she’s had her fill of his mouth, she scoots down his body, trailing her tongue down the indentation dividing his abs and nipping playfully at the taut skin right above the waistband of his trunks. Her mouth waters at the sight of the bulge beneath them, straining against the slick material. “Lift up,” she instructs as she tugs the drawstring and hooks her fingers in the fabric clinging to his hips.

Grayson moans and does as he’s told while MJ pulls his swimsuit down his inked legs until she has to stand up where he can kick them off his foot. She takes a moment to admire the masterpiece that is her boyfriend’s body and uses the advantage of already being stood up to shimmy her bikini bottoms off her hips. She lets them drop to the concrete at her feet before crawling back onto the lounger in-between his thighs.

She can’t resist drawing a ticklish trail down his Adonis belt with her long nails and watching his dick twitch at the playful touch. Grinning, she takes him in her hand and observes with amusement how her simple grasp is already affecting him, spreading the resulting dot of precum around the swollen head. Her palm is still slightly lubricated with the remnants of tanning oil, which creates the perfect amount of friction when she starts to stroke his length up and down slowly, adding a twist of her fist when she reaches the tip.

Grayson throws his head back and moans. MJ utilizes his position as an element of surprise to duck her head and lick a trail on the underside of his cock, base to tip, then wraps her lips around his head.

His chin drops to his chest and his hazy gaze is met with her mischievous one while she stares up at him through her lashes. “Holy fuck, MJ,” he moans, taking hold of her dark locks and fashioning a makeshift ponytail in his fist so he can see her better.

MJ smiles around his length, pulling up and holding the tip against her mouth, kissing it lasciviously. “You want me to suck it?” she asks sweetly.

Predictably, Grayson nods enthusiastically, tugging gently on her hair to guide her down his cock. MJ smirks and gathers saliva between her lips. She purses them slightly and drags the slick moisture all along his shaft, coating him until she decides he’s wet enough for her to take him in her throat. He’s the biggest she’s ever had and hasn’t mastered letting him fuck her face yet, but her lips encircle him and she slides him down into her throat as far as she can with relative ease. She hollows her cheeks as she pulled back up, over and over again.

“Oh my God,” he growls, his blunt nails digging into her scalp; MJ adores the sensation. “Just like that, baby.”

She grins and lets him slip out of her mouth with a light pop, stroking him with her small hand while laving his balls with her tongue. MJ always loves sucking Grayson’s dick, but she can’t believe how much doing it outside is making her even wetter than usual. There’s something incredibly hot about being under the cloudless sky, in the fresh air, and, yes, the danger of potentially getting caught.

With that thought fueling her, MJ’s fingers dip down to her pussy and she lets out a tiny whimper when her slim fingers light upon her swollen clit, more for his benefit than an actual reaction to her touch; she wants him to know how much she’s enjoying having him in her mouth. Something about the situation they’ve gotten themselves into out here is amplifying her desire in every way.

“Should I make you come now with my mouth?” she asks, dribbling more saliva on his dick and sucking him as far as she can a few times in quick succession, eyes trained on his, and she’s earned with wanton moans from Grayson’s plump lips. MJ lifts her head, her chest heaving, and gives him a devious smile as she raises the fingers that had been playing with herself to his mouth, continuing to stroke him steadily with her fist. “Or should I put you inside me, baby? Hmm? Should I put your big dick in my tight little pussy?”

Grayson lets out a guttural growl and sucks her proffered fingers into his warm mouth readily. Before she realizes what’s happening, Gray is reaching behind him to lay the chair flat again, and she practically topples over at the sudden movement.

“C’mere,” he instructs as he lies back, motioning for her to climb up his body. He takes the hat off and throws it across the yard when the bill impedes him from lying flat.

MJ pouts. Despite her teasing questions, she isn’t done sucking him off yet. And she really liked how that cap looked on him. “But—”

“MJ, sit on my fucking face now,” he demands, his voice deep and commanding; it makes her shiver and her head swim. His hazel eyes, which usually turn almost as green as hers in the sun, are now a deep chocolate brown behind the darkness of his pupils, dilated with pure desire.

Well, shit. She doesn’t need to be told twice; when Gray is in this mood, there’s no room for arguing, and she loves it. MJ bites her lip and crawls up his abdomen until her knees are resting above his shoulders and her shins lay alongside his chest in what little room is left on the lounger. He wastes no time in wrapping one arm around her thigh, the other reaching up for her breasts, and attaching his mouth to her throbbing center.

She cries out when his tongue drags through her slit and flicks against her clit a few times before thrusting inside her. One of her hands supports her weight on the top edge of the chair and the other cards roughly through his thick hair, tugging none-too-gently on his dark wavy mop.

Grayson moans and nuzzles his nose against her swollen flesh, grinning up at her and tweaking a nipple with his thumb and forefinger. “Did you get this wet just from sucking my dick, sweetheart?” MJ nods, the game of pretending he has no affect on her flying out the proverbial window. He lets out a little noise of affirmation. “I thought so. That’s why I love eating you out after you blow me; you’re always dripping for me.”

Without warning he sucks harshly on her clit and she shrieks, throwing her head back and moaning uncontrollably despite her best efforts. “Grayson!”

Grayson leaves the little bundle of nerves and dips his tongue down to her entrance once again as if to taste the fruits of his labor, groaning quietly. “So fucking sweet, baby. I love how you taste,” he says before repeating the actions over and over, driving her insane with the unrelenting pleasure of his simple motions.

She doesn’t know how she has the capacity to speak, but she manages to get her vocal cords and brain to coordinate. “I…fuck — I, I wanted to t-taste your cum, too,” she squeaks out, trying not to grind down on his face too hard. Not that he seems to mind.

His big hands restrain her hips anyways, long enough for him to speak. “I know you did,” he says with a smirk, and his voice vibrates sensually against her center. “You can do that next time, but right now you’re gonna come for me, and then I’m gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk. How’s that sound?”

God, the man knows how to use that mouth — in more ways than one. MJ can only moan and use her vice grip on his hair to tug him back to her pussy as confirmation that yes, that sounds fucking amazing.

All teasing pretenses are dropped as he goes straight for her clit and suckles her with purpose, that purpose being to get her to cum hard and fast. Sure enough, she feels the beginnings of her orgasm in her lower belly, driven by the sight of his eyes gazing adoringly up at her from between her legs.

It doesn’t take much longer once he adds both hands to her breasts, her moans reaching higher and higher pitches the closer she gets. “Ohmygod, yes!” she squeals, her knees squeezing instinctively around his head as he keeps up his ministrations, only gentler so she can ride out the high of her orgasm.

MJ’s moans turn to whimpers, and when she’s relatively back to earth she murmurs an apology as she slinks back down his body. Gray shakes his head in dismissal of her words and sits up, cupping her cheeks in his hands and kissing her deeply. She can taste herself on his mouth, and it gives her little aftershocks.

She settles over his lap and straddles his hips, grinding her dripping wet pussy against his rock hard dick because despite the amazing orgasm he had just given her, she was always ready to go for him; he makes her insatiable, sometimes.

“Fuck me,” she demands against his lips, lifting up so he can take hold of his dick and position himself where she only has to sit back and let him fill her up.

There isn’t much room on the lounger, but the way she’s forced to keep her legs close together just makes the fit extra tight and extra good. He lies on his back again, and MJ moans as she bounces on his cock with her hands planted on his broad chest for support while he grips her ass tightly.

Grayson for his part takes a moment to close his eyes so he can fully experience the warmth of the sun, the sweet wetness of her pussy, and the taste of her still on his lips all at once. He opens his eyes and is greeted by the sight of an angel leaning over him. The sun is right behind her head and creates a halo effect, making his heart skip a beat despite the fact that she’s doing all the work while he lies flat, spoiling him with her body like always.

MJ smiles down at him breathlessly and drags her manicured jet-black nails down his pec. He loves the pain of it, she found out early on in their relationship, and she’s more than happy to inflict it. It turns her on like crazy to watch his eyes roll back and his jaw to drop as he sucks in a harsh breath.

He can sense her tiring when she slows down and starts grinding on him, rubbing her clit into the groomed patch of hair at the base of his dick as she catches her breath and gives her quads a break. She moans and twitches when Grayson digs his thumbs in the sensitive creases of her hips as he sits up. He moves her legs to hook around his waist before wrapping his arms around her sweaty back.

“Hold on to me.”

MJ pants and clutches her arms around his neck, tightening her grip with her legs around his trim hips and digging her heels into his round ass. She buries her face in his shoulder as he stands both of them up. She doesn’t know what his plans are, but she hopes they aren’t going far; she needs him back inside her as soon as possible.

Her back hits the wall in the next moment and she revels in the firm, cool feel of the smooth siding against her skin that’s become heated from the sun and physical exertion. Grayson uses the leverage of the wall to keep her against the solid surface while he switches his hold on her so that her knees are now hooked over his elbows. Even in her somewhat delirious state, MJ can tell this will allow him to use the combined potential of his considerable physical strength and the support from the wall to fuck her senseless.

Their eyes connect as they both take a moment to gather themselves. Gray smiles at her sweetly and plants his palms against the wall as he dips his hips enough to thrust up into her.

MJ whimpers as he stretches her again, reveling in that sense of fullness and completion that she only experiences when he’s inside her. When he bottoms out, she cups his jaw and uses the strength in her core to raise herself up enough to connect their lips together. Her tongue instantly slips into his mouth and slides along his, tasting all of her that’s left in him, until she tucks her head in his neck to suck kisses up and down the thick column of his neck.

“Go, Gray, please.”

Grayson moans and lifts her up as he pulls back with his hips, only to let her sink back down on his dick while simultaneously thrusting up into her swollen pussy. As he continues and picks up the pace, the depth he reaches and the force behind their movements sends her reeling. Her nails dig harshly into the smooth ripples of his back as her eyes look almost unseeingly down over his shoulder at the wide expanse of flexing muscles. The newness of this angle makes her realize that this position is another first for the two of them. They’ve had sex standing up before, but never like this, where he’s almost completely supporting her and letting gravity do half the work for them.

The noises of their mixed moans and the sounds of their hips clashing fills the otherwise silent backyard. MJ leans back against the wall and grips his biceps, using her position to fully take in the power of his body. Every muscle bulges out with exertion, his jaw clenches in pleasure and concentration, his eyes flitting between her bouncing tits and her flushed face as he pants harshly.

Everything about her — mind, body and soul — is overwhelmed. She can’t help it; she’s so turned on by him, so in love with him, the words just pour out, even though she knows they won’t improve his stamina any.

“You’re so fucking strong, baby. I love how you can hold me up and fuck me like this with your big dick. You’re making me feel so good…” On one particularly sharp thrust, he hits the spot, and her eyes instantly roll back in her head while she lets out a purely reactionary shriek of pleasure. “Right there, Gray! Baby, holy shit…”

“Jesus, MJ, you’re so fucking hot,” Gray rasps out behind clenched teeth. From the animalistic noises he’s making and the unhinged expression on his beautiful face, she can tell he’s barely holding on anymore, but he’s getting her there so fast that she hopes he can last just that much longer.

With a surge of strength she didn’t know she had left in her, MJ leans up and wraps her arms around his neck, then hooks her legs over his ass for leverage so that his arms can hold her by the backs of her thighs. She starts thrusting herself and grinding down on his pubic bone, perfectly stimulating both her clit and that deep spot within her. Her body shatters a second later, her limbs quaking with the force of the waves coursing through her.

She knows that normally Grayson would let her ride it out at her own pace, even rub her clit slowly to get her through it, but he’s so riled up at this point that he simply slams her against the wall and pounds into her relentlessly. MJ’s mouth gapes open soundlessly as, to her complete amazement, she feels yet another orgasm right on the heels of the one that has just started abating.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she chants repeatedly, making direct eye contact with him. She knows what will trigger them both to fall over the edge. “You’re fucking me so good. I want you to come inside me, baby, please!”

A guttural groan rips from his throat, his thrusts falter, and his forehead drops to hers as she feels the first spurts of his cum shoot into her. This is all she needs for her own orgasm to tear through her, radiating warmth and electricity through her whole body with an indescribable intensity.

Masculine, relieved whines escape his open mouth, the sounds alone making her clench inadvertently around his throbbing length inside her. His lower lip is too enticing for her to resist, and she nips it teasingly before drawing him in for a slow, perfectly sloppy kiss. They’re both still distracted by the pleasure coursing through their connected bodies as he finishes inside her.

“Fuck, that was good,” he whispers after a minute of recovery, trailing his mouth down her jaw and nuzzling her neck sweetly. MJ smiles and hugs his sweaty head to her, kissing his temple in return. She’s about to suggest they go cuddle on the daybed under the shade of the awning, but she never gets the chance because…

“What the fuck, dude?!”

“Oh my God, you actual assholes! Gross!”

A scream catches in MJ’s throat as their heads whip to the sliding back door only a few feet away, and there they are; the E’s had apparently gotten home from the beach much earlier than she thought they would. Or maybe she and Gray have just been fucking for that long.

Once the scare of their sudden reappearance has worn off, she can’t stop a smirk from gracing her lips, though she does try to hide it in Gray’s neck in mock mortification. That’s not to say she’s not embarrassed, but what can she do?

“Well, don’t look!” Grayson cries, but she can hear the concealed laughter in his voice, just as her smile grows even wider against his sweaty skin.

“How about you don’t have sex outside against our house where we can look, you bitch ass!” Ethan screams at his brother. MJ peeks a glance at him and sees him standing there with the heels of both hands digging into his eyes, as if he is not only blocking out the image before him but trying to rub it from his memory, too. Evie is just running around the patio, laughing and yelling “No!” at the top of her lungs, which makes MJ giggle too despite her best efforts.

As humorous as this situation is and even though Grayson’s body is pressed against hers completely, it’s still pretty embarrassing considering she’s butt-ass naked with her boyfriend’s softening dick still inside her, in a backyard with two of her best friends right there to see. “I mean, we literally just finished if you want to walk away and let us clean up, then the whole yard is all yours.”

“MJ, can you not just clean up now?” Ethan insists irritatedly. “We’ve already got our shit ready to come lay out.”

She pulls her face out of his neck and looks at Grayson, biting her lip to fight the shit-eating grin threatening to break across her face; she can already picture his brother’s reaction to what she’s about to say. But what the fuck are he and Evie even still doing out here? Why are they not inside? They’re the ones making this weird.

“Well, we need to go grab my swimsuit bottoms, or otherwise there’ll be a, ah, mess, if you know what I mean. Also, I don't think I can walk.”

Just as she predicted, Ethan makes a dramatic retching sound and reaches his hand out for his girlfriend blindly. “Evelina, help me. Let’s go bleach our eyes out before I throw up from these mental images.”

Because Two People Got Drunk: 22

Series Masterlist

Chapter 22

A/N: So I haven’t been to Greece, always wanted to. I originally planned on the entire trip being 1 chapter so it was going to be vague, but decided to break it up into a few which meant I needed some more details on locations/sights. I’m sorry if you have been there and I got some info I got wrong, I relied on google for most of it.

Summary: You and Fred begin your short vacation without Oliver. You enjoy the first couple days sightseeing and exploring the island together.

Warnings: Swearing, smut

Word Count: 4900

“Where are we going?” you question as you sit on the plane. You are about two hours into the flight, and Fred booked a small private plane to take you. The flight crew didn’t mention where you are going before takeoff and it’s driving you crazy. 

“Just going to have to wait and see” Fred says smiling and not looking up from his book. You spent the last few days in Denmark trying to get him to tell you, and this was always his response. You tried to get his mom or sister to crack while at the spa but neither would tell you. You even tried to bribe Oliver, but he responded with “I don’t know” and you believe him; only because Fred knows that your 1 ½ year old son can ‘t keep secrets.

You huff in disapproval and hear the man beside you chuckle. He places a kiss in your hair “we’re almost there babe and then you will find out. Just have to be patient.”

“Ugh you’re the worst” you joke.

The rest of your time in Denmark went really well, you spent it with his family showing the city to Oliver. You really felt like all the issues were in the past and you belonged; were a part of the family.

“Fred, did you…are we in Santorini?” you question as you step off the plane. You smell the fresh air warm salt water, looking around and see the colourful cliffside villages.

“Mhm” he hums in your ear as you take in the breathtaking views.

“Babe this is insane, it’s too much.”

“For you? My amazing girlfriend, mother of my child? I don’t think it’s enough” he says kissing your cheek.

You turn and jump into his arms “you’re too good to me” you say smiling. Fred leans in and kisses you lightly “I really am aren’t I?” he jokes earning a light laugh from you.

After a short car ride you arrive at your hotel, which is tucked in the side of a cliff. You open the door to your room and see that you are staying in a room that is actually a cave carved into a cliff. You have a massive bedroom, with doors that open up to your own private balcony. The décor in the rooms is simple, with a lot of white and some accent colours on the pillows. But you realize the space is amazing on its own and doesn’t need anything more, it speaks for itself.

You move to explore the room, but Fred grabs your hand and pulls you onto the veranda, which has its own infinity pool and overlooks the Aegean Sea. Crisp blue waters are all you can see. Fred wraps his arms around you as you lean back into his chest, “tonight we are having dinner out here while we watch the sunset” he whispers, sending chills down your spine. You tilt your head to look up at him as he places a kiss on your lips “can’t wait” you whisper.

Later that night you have showered off the plane ride, and put on your white spaghetti strap midi dress. It has a floral lace overlay that extends to your knees. You pair it with the shoes Fred bought you for your birthday.

You walk onto the balcony and see Fred in a pair of beige shorts with a navy collared t-shirt tucked in. He is setting the dinner on the table when he hears your heels on the floor causing him to look up at you.

A smile spreads across his face and he stops setting the table. “How did I get so lucky?” he says kissing your lips lightly.

“I ask myself that every day” you respond leaning in to him.

“Please, we both know you are out of my league” he laughs.

“That’s a lie babe. I’m nothing without you” you say. You move to the table and he pushes your chair in behind you, taking a seat at the chair beside you. You eat dinner looking out over the water, listening to the sound of waves crashing on the shore. You have an easy conversation, laughing and enjoying your time.

“I never asked why were you single the night we met?” he asks.

You laugh as you start eating your chicken. “What a girl like you, I just can’t believe that you were single when we met. What poor idiot messed things up with you?”

“Uhh, that would be me” you say taking a drink of wine. Fred continues to eat but has his eyes locked on you waiting for you to continue. “I had a boyfriend in high school, and another in college. Stephen, my college boyfriend and I broke up during 3rd year; I was single for a little bit. Dated a couple people, but nobody serious for a few years. Then when I was 26 I met Cody. We dated for almost 4 years; I was in love with him, thought I would marry him and have a family. Then he got offered a job in Vancouver, I knew he had applied to it so I wasn’t overly surprised. We had talked a little bit about what we would do if he did get it, about me going with him. My company has offices out there so I could have looked into a transfer, so it’s not like I wouldn’t be working. But when it became real, when it was no longer a hypothetical and I had to act on it, I couldn’t.”

“What was the problem? If you wanted to marry him why go?”

“It just didn’t feel right. I had this feeling that I shouldn’t go and I didn’t know why” you explain taking a sip of wine. “I guess it took that for me to realize I didn’t actually love him, or not in the way I thought. Because if I did love him, like 100% wholeheartedly in love… I wouldn’t have hesitated; I just wish it didn’t take me 4 years to realize I didn’t love him.

But it’s weird, because I had 4 years with him, but after like 6 months with you I made the choice to move to Pittsburgh. And that was six months that revolved mostly around sex, we weren’t even dating then. But going there felt right, not just for Ollie, but it felt like the right decision for me.”

A smile crosses his face “like you knew I was going to have an impact on your life outside of Oliver.”

“Yeah” you agree smiling. “What about you? You have girls messaging you all the time, why didn’t any of them ever lock you down?”

He laughs a little at your comment “I don’t know. I mean I’ve dated a bit in Toronto but nothing serious. I guess no girl ever had what I was looking for. I would sometimes meet up with the girls who messaged me, but they were only messaging me because of who I am. It never really turned into anything serious between us. And then I met you, and I honestly wanted to date you after our first night together.” “I’m sure you did” you say laughing.

His large hand slides across the table touching your wrist lightly “I did babe, I was upset I was rushed and couldn’t get your number. Whenever I was at Hoops those weeks after I would hope to see you; that you would walk through those doors again. It was easy to talk to you, and you didn’t know who I was which was nice too. But that night I was feeling like shit, and you made me feel better.”

“Blowjobs and sex tend to do that” you say smirking at him.

Fred laughs at that comment “Well obviously that helped. But I was going to say the conversation at the bar made feel better. Sitting there with you for those few hours that cheered me up and made my night better. If we had of went our own ways after the bar, I would have left feeling 100% better than I was when I walked in. I guess I just knew from the beginning there was something about you.”

“I think I knew there was something about you but I was too scared to admit it” you start, pausing briefly when Fred laughs “yeah I’d say.”

“After Cody I took some time, and tried to evaluate myself. I guess I just couldn’t understand why I had this man in front of me that I couldn’t love. Like he was an amazing person, every quality I thought I wanted, the kind of person anyone would be happy with. I thought something was wrong with me for it, who takes that long to realize they don’t love someone. Then with you I guess I was scared it would happen again, but this time I had to think about Oliver not just myself. I didn’t want it to happen again. To be with you and we start something together and when the time comes for me to commit I can’t do it. And then it ruins us, but not just our romantic relationship but also our parenting relationship. I… I panicked.”

“So how do you know that you’re ready now?” he asks. “Ready for me, for us?”

“Because I can’t imagine life without you, I can’t imagine not waking up to those brown eyes. The thought of not having you in my life makes me sick, not hearing your voice. I can’t imagine a life where I walk into the living room and see you and Ollie playing, or snuggled on the couch.

You are the second greatest thing to happen to me, the first being Oliver. I’ve never felt this before; I’ve never had anything that compares to this. I think a year ago, everything felt like too much all at once, I was a little overwhelmed. I don’t think I was ready to head down that road at that point in my life.

I just needed time to get there, to get out of my head. I think if we had of tried a year earlier we would still be together now and everything would be amazing, but I was overthinking everything. But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well I’m happy you figured it out, and for the record I’m not going anywhere either” he says placing a soft kiss on your cheek. He grabs your hand and pulls you over to the outdoor couch. You sit comfortably on his lap as the sun is falling towards the horizon. The once blue skies now have now turned to warm red, yellow and orange hues. You listen to the waves crashing into the shore, the waves hitting each other as a light breeze lightly moves the branches of the palm trees. Fred’s lightly strokes your side, sometimes he will place a soft kiss on your cheek or jaw as you both sit in silence.

You are the first to speak “this is amazing” you turn to look at him. “And I don’t just mean the sunset” you lightly press your lips to his. You stay outside a little while longer, wrapped in his arms until the sun fully sets the stars and the moon illuminating the world around you.

“You know seeing you in this white dress” he says shifting under you, making you feel his erection poking through his shorts “makes me think of what you will look like in a wedding dress.”

You turn and look at Fred raising your eyebrow “I’m not proposing skat. It’s just before you I never really thought about it, I was never really in a relationship where I saw it heading to marriage and kids. I almost didn’t see it happening for myself, now I find myself thinking about it randomly. I’ll be lying in bed trying to sleep, or on the plane heading to a road game, and I just start thinking of the future. What two years, 5 years, 10 years with you will look like with you.”

“One day I will be Mrs. Frederik Andersen” you whisper against his lips. “But tell me what does our future look like? What do you see for us?” Your fingers begin to lightly run through his hair as you sit and listen.

“Well I see us being married. A little girl running around playing with Oliver, and she’ll be just like you. Not just appearance but her personality, laugh, her heart; all you. She will definitely have your sass and attitude, which will be mayhem as she grows up. A puppy for you because all you talk about is a puppy.” You laugh at that comment, but he is right; you talk about it so much Oliver has even started to ask for a puppy. He starts to pepper your jaw and neck with kisses as he continues talking, “I see us in a house, the five of us on Christmas morning. You making us wear matching pyjamas, even the dog. Me pretending to hate it but secretly loving every moment of it. Playing with the kiddos in the snow, making snow angels and snowmen.”

You smile and kiss him again “does Denmark get much snow?” you ask him.

“Babe we can’t really visit during the season –“

“I know, I meant after your done hockey. When you retire we could live there. I mean if you wanted to live there.” “You would move to Denmark?” he asks you pushing some hair behind your ear. You nod in response before he continues “I never thought about the where we would live, means a lot that you would consider moving to Denmark though.”

“I mean it is your home” you say lightly.

“And Toronto is yours” he responds kissing you.

“As long as I have you I could be happy anywhere. Maybe we figure out the where later on” you say as Fred’s hands lightly stroke up the back on your arms. “What else do you see in our future?”

“I see you with grey hair” that statement causes you to wrinkle your nose slightly at the thought.

“Don’t want the grey hair?” he asks and you shake your head.

“Personally I can’t wait to be old and grey with you. Sitting on a porch swing while the grandkids run around or swim in the pool. Family barbeques and trips. I can see you going by Nana, teaching them your family cookie recipes, sleepovers and…”

“Okay, having grey hair doesn’t sound terrible now” you mumble before kissing him. You run your hands through his hair, grinding your hips against his erection. Fred groans into the kiss before his hands slide to the back of your thighs hoisting you up. You giggle and wrap your legs around his waist; he carries you to the bed where you spend a few hours tangled in each others arms before finally dozing off.

The next morning you wake up at 8:30 with Fred spooning you, he is placing soft kisses on your shoulder. You moan and shift back slightly to be pressed up against his hard chest, “morning” you mumble.

“Breakfast will be here at 10, and we have to leave at 11” he says lightly before kissing your neck one last time.

“You planned everything out didn’t you” you question pressing your ass against him. He runs his fingers up your arm kissing your neck “well I didn’t plan on any morning fun or else I would have woken you up sooner.”

You turn your head to look at him “well add it to the schedule for tomorrow.” Fred brushes some hair from your face, he engages you in a soft but passionate kiss. When he finally pulls away he has a large grin on your face “definitely sweetheart” he says to you. He pulls the blanket off of you “go get ready skat.”

Later that day you are wearing you’re favourite sundress, with your bathing suit underneath. Fred has booked a private boat tour around Santorini, and to some of the smaller nearby islands. After about 90 minutes the boat docks and you disembark at Palea Kameni, two small islands formed from volcanic eruptions. There are many large ships that resemble pirate ships in the harbour.

“The island has been building up slowly throughout time. Every eruption has deposited additional pumice to the island expanding its footprint. You have about 45 minutes to explore the area, there is even a hot spring up there” your guide says pointing to a path.

Fred quickly grabs your hand and you start the short hike. You notice that most of the landscape is barren likely due to the acidic soils caused from the volcanic eruptions, but there are some succulents sparsely across the ground. You stop at the top of a hill and take in the view, you are overlooking the bay, and to the east you can see Santorini in the distance.

No matter where you look you see sparkling blue water, Fred quickly pulls his phone out and snaps a few pictures of you two with the harbour as the backdrop while he kisses your cheek. He pulls back and puts his phone away; you lean in and kiss him, wrapping your hand arm around his neck.

Your fingers snake into his hair, his hands on your lower back as your tongues fight for dominance in each other mouths. Fred groans into the kiss, one of his hands slides further to your ass giving it a soft squeeze.

“Freddie” you squeal jumping slightly. He kisses your jaw laughing wrapping his arms around you, holding you against his chest.

“What? Nobody is here” he mumbles kissing the top of your head. After a minute he eases his grip and takes your hand and continues on the trail leading you to the hot spring. You both strip to your bathing suits, and Fred beats you to the water sitting down first.

As soon as you step into the warm water Fred shifts to give you some space beside him. Instead you walk in front of him and place your hands on his shoulder. Fred looks up at you, and you sink down onto his lap, straddling him.

You grin at him, bringing your hands up to his hair. Fred’s hands slide up your body and stop on your waist, he runs his hands up and down your back while smiling at you. You lean in gripping his hair tight and lock him in a deep kiss, your tongues fight for dominance in each other’s mouths as his as his fingers toy with the strings of your bathing suit bottoms.

You rock your hips against him, feeling him start to harden beneath you. His hand undoes one of the bows you have tied on your bottoms. His mouth moves to your neck, peppering kisses on your sweet spot. You continue to grind your hips against his erection, hand sliding down to palm him over his bathing suit when you hear some laughing from behind you. You quickly jump off him and sit beside Fred when you see a family making their way up the steps towards the springs. You casually re-tie your bathing suit bottom, the family walks by you finding a spot a few metres away.

“We should get back to the boat” Fred says to you a few minutes later. You nod and get out of the spring and dry off. You pull your dress back on and start the short trip back to the boat.

You continue on your journey and after another boat ride arrive in Thirassia, which is on the west side of the volcano. It is another island off the coast of Santorini. While the crew prepares your lunch you and Fred snorkel in the clear water.

The staff alerts you that lunch will be ready in 15 minutes, so you both return to the boat; you make your way to the private room to change and Fred follows you. Since you are done swimming for this trip you remove your wet bathing suit and wrap a towel around yourself. After you have dried yourself off you drop the towel and bend into your bag pulling out some dry underwear.

You stand up straight and can hear Fred take a deep breath and mumble some swear words behind you. Not even a second later you feel his hands wrap around you. He cups your breast and begins to massage your nipple. He bends down and nips you on your shoulder, his other hand runs up and down your stomach. Your head falls back onto his chest “babe they’ll hear” you moan.

Fred pulls you closer into him and you can feel his erection pressed into your back “you knew what you were doing when you dropped your towel” his other hand slides down and presses circles on your clit. “You knew what you were doing when you climbed in my lap in the hot springs” he says sucking on your neck.

You push your hips back, and grind against him causing him to groan loudly. “You are a very smart woman. You have known what you have been doing to me all day and you kept doing it.” His finger is lightly playing with your folds, waiting for your permission to slide in you.

His mouth attaches to your neck and sucks hard, he isn’t wrong. You two have always had a healthy sex life since you got together, but this trip is different. You don’t know if it’s because Oliver isn’t around, or the romantic feeling Santorini exudes but since you have gotten here you haven’t wanted to leave the bed. It doesn’t help that your boyfriend spends most of his time in the sun without a shirt.

You could wait until you got back to the hotel, but you don’t think you want to. His finger continues to dance around your entrance as you bite your lower lip as you grind your ass further back against him. The only thing holding you back is the fear of being heard by the boat staff. You think you are going to make him wait until later; which you know would lead to some wild sex complete with multiple orgasms and bruises on your hips. But in that moment he rolls your nipple in his fingers and bites your neck, his other finger presses hard into your clit.

“Fuck” you mumble, feeling him smile against your neck. He knows what he is doing is working, and he pushes his hips forward his erection pressed between your ass cheeks.

“What are you going to do about it” you groan unable to wait any longer. Fred quickly pushes you to the bed, you fall forward and climb up on your hands and knees sticking your ass out for him.

“Frederik” you sternly whisper as he slaps your ass. He quickly pushes two fingers inside your folds.

“You know what happens when you call me that” he growls pumping his fingers inside you. You moan loudly, when you feel his hand come around your mouth.

“You have to be quiet skat or they will hear” he says his fingers still pumping inside you.

“You have to be quick so they don’t come looking for us” you retorts. Fred pulls his fingers from you; he grabs you by the neck and pulls you up so your back is against his chest. He brings his fingers to your mouth “lick” he orders.

You open your mouth as he slides his fingers inside your mouth, while simultaneously sliding his hard cock inside your folds. You close your mouth on his fingers, groaning as you clean your flavour from him and your walls are stretched out by him.

He rocks into you slowly at first, using the rocking of the boat to guide his movements. Once he is satisfied with his fingers he pulls them out of your mouth and pushes you forward onto your hands. His hands tightly grip your hips as he pulls you back onto him.

He thrusts firmly inside you; your ass hits his pelvis as he bottoms out each time. You bite your lip trying to stifle your moan, a whimper escaping your lips. You hear Fred chuckle because he knows how hard this is for you. He continues thrusting before he increases the pace. The room is filled with the sound of your skin flapping when you can’t hold it in anymore, your mouth opens and a loud strangled groan leaves you.

“Smuk” he growls, he brings a hand to the front of your neck and pulls you back up against him. He keeps his pace, while his hand tightens its grip around your throat, restricting your airway. This causes you to stop moaning as Fred continues pumping inside you.

You are getting close, and can feel your high approaching and your walls begin to clench. “Not yet, wait for me” he whispers, you let out a loud groan in disapproval.

He quickly tightens his grip against your throat and pumps inside you; he brings a knee up onto the bed. This allows him to change the angle and push deep, pounding against your cervix with every thrust. Your ass is being pulled back against his pelvis; you feel him becoming erratic behind you. Fred releases your throat and you take in a deep breath, one you didn’t notice you needed.

His hand goes to your other hip, using it to pull you back hard into him as he chases his high. You fall forward, tightly gripping the bedsheets. Your orgasm is right there, but you want to hold out for Fred. You feel him increase the pace, your mouth falls open and a loud strangled groan leaves your mouth.

You don’t care if the crew hears you anymore; you are unable to contain yourself. The sounds leaving your mouth are filthier than a porno, but you are more focused on waiting for Fred than anything else. Fred slaps your ass which has you coming undone, you clench around him.

Your walls tighten and you hear him quietly mutter some Danish curse words before he twitches and pushes deep inside you. You fall onto the bed and Fred collapses on top of you.

“You weren’t quiet” he jokes kissing your shoulder.

“You weren’t quick” you reply laughing.

After a few minutes Fred pulls out, you both clean up and get changed before returning to the deck for lunch. You and Fred walk out hand in hand, when you walk by two of the workers shoot you a glance and have a hushed conversation. Your face immediately goes beet red, Fred squeezes your hand “it’s fine dear” he whispers as you arrive at the table for lunch.

A couple hours later you are back in the hotel and have showered. You are still embarrassed about what happened on the boat, and are tired from the hiking and your afternoon activities. Not having the energy to get ready for dinner you change into a pair of grey track shorts, you pull on a loose off-shoulder lounging shirt not even bothering with a bra or underwear. You pull your hair up in a messy bun, and apply some moisturizer to your otherwise naked face.

You see Fred sitting in a pair of shorts on the patio and make your way over to him. He hears your footsteps and looks at you, smiling as he takes you in. “I didn’t feel like getting all dressed up tonight” you explain sitting beside him.

Fred places a hand on your thigh and kisses your cheek “I don’t care what you wear, or what you look like. Could dress like this every day from now on and I wouldn’t care.”

You roll your eyes at him, but before you can respond he gently tilts your chin to look at you. He places a soft kiss on your forehead “babe I mean it. I think you are the most incredible woman out there, and I’m not with you because of how you look with your makeup on and a tight little dress. I mean I’m not complaining about the tight dresses that drive me wild, but you are so much more than your clothes. I’ve never met a more compassionate, thoughtful and selfless person in my life. Looks can fade, but that, the things that make you the person you are, that won’t change.”

Before he can continue you kiss him, you lean back on the couch and Fred follows, his hand sliding up your shirt. His hand reaches your bare breast when a knock is on the door indicating dinner has arrived. You hear him groan, and you aren’t sure if it’s because he was interrupted or the lack of clothing under your shirt.

The hotel:

White Dress:

Next Chapter

Survey #474

“nothing flashed before my eyes  /  no pretty angels, no bright lights  /  all i saw was the devil’s soul, & it looked a hell a lot like my own”

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He can be a challenge. He says whatever comes to his mind the moment he thinks it, and it's not always nice. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? My relationship, honestly. It feels like the one thing that's going right, but I'm concerned if I don't take care of the things that aren't going so well, that they will creep into my relationship and start breaking it down, ex. not having a job. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To just keep pushing and not give up on life, and that it is full of phases, be them good, bad, or bland. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. Do you have a “one who got away”? I don't feel like that anymore. If you were in a supoerhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Because I like to help people, I'd like to be the hero, BUT villains are waaaay cooler. If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Frightened, no. I LOVE mice. I'd of course be startled and concerned about it getting into food, but I'd just calmly find a way to get it outside. Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? I used to LOVE getting those little magic kits when the Scholastic fair came around! I had I want to say three and was pretty good at a lot of tricks in them. Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? No. What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? The Internet for sure. Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? No. An allowance for three daughters was something my parents couldn't afford. Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? An amusement park. They're more exciting to me, and somehow water parks seem dirtier with all the little kids and just alksdjlfa;wjke What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? The violin. What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? Probably something at Disney World as a kid, idr. What is something that you would like to learn more about? I ALWAYS want to learn more and more about meerkats. What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom collects owl stuff. Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, except obviously when transferring from certain age ranges, like elementary to middle school. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes, at least once in middle school. I felt SO awful and had to go outside of the classroom to do it while they were reviewing the work. Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I really, really like both. Each are just very pretty in their own right. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Hurricanes or like the mere chance of a centimeter of snow. At least once, we've even had such a severe heat advisory that school was called off. If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Can dragons be real? 'Cuz then I wanna meet Clay from Wings of Fire if we could talk, lol. He's so wise and I'm sure would have great knowledge to share about looking at my life from new perspectives. What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? Um, people do NOT tour this city. It's trash. What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? I'm not sure. How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? Everything would change, given I'm always on the computer. Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? Fairy wings, for sure. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I wish SO badly that opossums were domesticated animals, alsdkjfkaljwe. I say enough that I do want to rescue/foster one, though, but I would obviously need a license for that. I would absolutely never just snag one from the wild. What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? We recycle here, don't dare to litter, and I always try to be a decent person that spreads love and hope to other people. Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? Yes. What’s your favorite store at your mall? rue21, I suppose. We have a small mall. Have you ever done a workout DVD? Oh my actual god, this is a THROWBACK. When we were really little, my sister had a BARBIE workout DVD that we watched sometimes. Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Usually Mom, but sometimes me. What song are you currently obsessed with? Absolutely "Bath Salts" by Highly Suspect, ahhhhh- When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I used to go fishing, my dad would always unhook the fish. Do you take any prescription meds? A lot. What happens if you don’t take them? I very rarely forget to take my medicine, but when I do, I experience anxiety and my tremors get worse. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? I hate tea in any way. How often do you honk your horn? I don't really drive, so. I'd be very hesitant to though because I wouldn't wanna piss someone off. Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? That's a hard pass from me, bro. Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? No. Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? I don't remember how frequently, but we did have a babysitter. Both my parents had jobs. If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually pay fucking attention to bullying and do shit about it. Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? "Fun?" Don't know her. What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno. How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? I don't remember. What is your least favorite holiday, and why? St. Patrick's Day because I worry about getting pinched, lol. Pinching even very lightly is surprisingly painful for me. What were some outdoor games you played as a child? Hide-and-seek was my favorite, then my sisters and I made games for on the trampoline and in the pool, etc. Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? I never remember doing that, no. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They're humbling, more than anything. A reminder of how equal we are and that we all end up the same. It's a nudge to cherish life while you have it. Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? My favorite is Ancient Egyptian. Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long-term. My short-term memory is absolutely frighteningly horrid. What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I was very frustrated with just life in general and how horribly I'm failing at it. Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? A bear, probably. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) Yeah, like said spirits. Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I don't know right now. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW you couldn't pay me to. If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? My boyfriend. What was the last new food/drink that you tried? I recently tried jalapeno-stuffed grilled chicken, and a couple days ago I tried this orange/strawberry V8 my mom bought. It was noooot good, which I figured it wouldn't be. That's not a good mix. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Today was fucking awful, and yesterday wasn't exactly peachy either. Have you ever played Sudoku? Yeah, I enjoy it well enough. Do you ever take surveys for money? No; I once signed up for a site like that though because my mom used to do that, but I literally qualified for no surveys with how inexperienced I was and still am with grown-up stuff. Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? I don't have an opinion, and I didn't really as a kid, either. Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I go back and forth, but either way, it has to be a crisp grape or it's just gross. Who was the last person that made you laugh? I was watching a John Wolfe video. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. Who did you last confide in? Girt. Does your car have an alarm? Mom's doesn't. Where was your mom born? New York. What can always make you feel better no matter what? If I'm being completely realistic, nothing. Not every single tactic is fail-proof, especially these days. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Crab legs came to mind first. They are SO mushy and just gross. What is currently happening that is scaring you? My life, bro. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I mean maybe at some point accidentally? I don't remember a specific occurrence.

Bill having a small pool at his house so Tiger spends most days in quarantine in there, but he’s always working in his office. One day he gets out when she’s still out there and maybe she’s just in bottom while topless to tan and he almost breaks the glass door.

okay but nani wait--DOES HE RUN INTO THE GLASS DOOR?

Oh my god, stay with me here.

I like this idea very much because whatever, Bill’s an outdoor dude and is used to lakes and stuff so he either made sure his yard had a pool or--OR oh my god my heart--maybe the pool was kind of a gift for tiger. He couldn’t tell her that, of course, but tiger loves to swim and water really calms her, so one year around her birthday maybe he just had a decent size one installed in his backyard. She uses it a lot, and Bill has a really nice deck too where she can sit and read and just lounge. A giant two-person hammock, for afternoon naps and cuddles.

So like, listen. Tiger’s over, but Bill has a lot of work to do and that’s okay, she kinda just wants to be in his general company and being at his place surrounding by his things is al she needs(why these two idiots continue to each have their own place, I don’t know. And when one of them is away it turns into a full apartment swap--Bill stays at tiger’s place when she’s away because he misses her and it’s comforting, and vice versa). Anyway, she’s over and she’s making him coffee and getting some things ready for lunch while he works away on a script in the back room. It’s his creative room, and it overlooks the deck and the pool.

And shit maybe tiger took her top off a long time ago, but Bill is maniacal when he works and you could be smackin’ his cute cheeks before he even realized that you were in the room with him. He’s laser focused. Not noticing anything. And tiger doesn’t even do it to be a tease, she does it because whatever, his backyard is really private and it just feels better and she doesn’t want pesky tanlines.

And you know, the thing is, usually the sliding glass door onto his deck is always open when she’s over, because she goes in and out usually with a pitcher of sangria and books so it’s just easier to leave it open. And right when Bill swigs the last of his coffee, he gets up and decides he should probably take a small break--it’s beautiful outside, that hammock is looking real nice, and tiger will be all warm and toasty by now. So he moseys into the kitchen--and that’s when he sees it. Sees tiger emerging from the water like some type of sea goddess that he’s sure she is, water pouring off of her, her face tilted up to the sun as she smoothes her hair back. She looks ethereal--all soft and sun kissed, warm, droplets pooling on her--but then his eyes gravitate down, and his heart stops. Because all she’s wearing are her tiny bikini bottoms, and Bill knows she likes to swim topless but it just always catches him by surprise and he ogles every single time. It’s some weird, deeply engrained Pavlovian response that he attributes to his caveman ancestors. He sees the tatas, and his world comes to a screeching halt--every time.

But it comes to a screeching halt for just a few seconds, and then all the blood rushes from his head to his groin and it subsequently powers his legs into action. Suddenly he knows exactly what he wants to do on his break, in a rather public place. He’s salivating just thinking about it, and he makes a mad dash for his deck.

So tiger is stepping out from the pool, climbing the ladder and when she sets foot on his deck, she hears it--a giant THWACK, then the sound of glass cracking. She shrieks in surprise a little, thinking at first that a giant bird hit his window.

She wasn’t wrong.

Her gaze lands on the sliding door just in time to see Bill’s totally shocked expression, and to see him ricochet off the glass and go flying back. He sprawls, all legs and limbs as he goes ass over tea kettle, and tiger watches in horror as he lands on his back.

She’s stunned for a second. Not nearly as stunned as Bill probably is, but she can’t believe the big idiot actually ran into his fucking glass door. She bolts across the deck, taking in the giant shatter across the glass door, and opens it gently. Bill is on his back, his hands over his face, groaning in pain.

“Oh buddy,” she says softly as she crouches, but god she’s choking back a laugh, “Are you okay?”

Silence. Just a small whimper. Tiger doesn’t see any blood so she’s a little relieved that he didn’t break that cute nose of his. He’s still just a bit stunned.

“You know,” she starts, “I’m going to stop calling you big bird if you're going to start actually acting like a big fucking bird.”

He removes his hands at that, enough to give her a piercing glare as she bites her lip.

“Can you put a shirt on, please?” he mutters bitterly, “I almost broke my fucking face because of your tits.”

“Awww, well then let them fix you, baby.”

Listen, we haven’t quite talked about tittyfucking yet, but I think we just did right here right now. That, or you know Bill gets some really good, really long head scritchies that afternoon with tiger in his lap, topless, her tatas in his face.

Hi!! I'm here as promised! Could you do 9 + 8 + 18 please? Thanks!!

@alphabees-writes

After I-don’t-know-how-long, it’s finally here! Thank you for prompting me this, I really enjoyed writing it.

I never did camping/summer camp in its classical form, so linguistic camp is what you get, something I actually know, I hope you’ll still enjoy it :)

_________________________

Camp!au + exes + “ this can’t be real. I feel like I’m having a fever dream. “

Read it on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25331935

Kurt was counting the days. In a couple of days, he was flying to France, his dream country, for a three-weeks summer camp, studying this beautiful language and learning about the amazing French culture. He was going to be part of a French family, in Nice, on the French Riviera, and he just couldn’t wait. He had looked up pictures of the region: it was stunningly beautiful.

He had always wanted to go on a language study vacation and he had been saving up for two years for this, working extra shifts with his dad at the shop. Blaine, his boyfriend, had complained a bit about it, arguing that Kurt was putting their relationship aside. It was easy to say for him, his parents were loaded and could offer him whatever he wanted. Kurt’s dad couldn’t just take 2500$ out of his pocket.

His luggage was already packed and he had spent the last month reviewing his French lessons, watching French TV shows and movies and listening to French music. He was so ready for this.

____________________________

The first thing he heard when he landed at the airport was the sound of the cicadas. They were everywhere and it was deafening. But it was so south of France and exotic and he loved it already, his heart busting with excitement. He met the supervisors who told him and the kids who shared the same flight that other participants were to be expected on another flight in a few hours and, in the meantime, they would be taken to their host family. Kurt couldn’t wait to meet them.

His host family lived in a typical south of France house, with ocher roof and light-colored walls, on the hill overlooking the city. They were a middle-aged couple, Marie and Laurent, who had two children, Enzo and Léa, and were very friendly, welcoming Kurt warmly. Their house even had a swimming pool, something Kurt rarely saw in Ohio, with a splendid view on the Mediterranean Sea. Kurt thought he was living a dream.

The mother, Marie, told him he was going to share his bedroom with another boy in his study group and Kurt was both excited and anxious to meet him. What if he was a complete homophobe? Kurt wasn’t planning on divulging anything too personal but his bullying in high school when he wasn’t even out was still a fresh memory in his mind.

He didn’t have to wait for long. Laurent went to pick his roommate up at the airport and he came back forty minutes later, while Marie and the children were getting to know Kurt, asking him several questions, all in French. They spoke a bit of English but Kurt wanted his trip to be as immersive as possible and, he had to admit it, he took pride in his accent when Marie and the children complimented him on it. Laurent joined them on the terrace with the boy and Kurt froze when he saw him.

It was none other than Sebastian Smythe, his former show choir rival and ex-boyfriend.

He must have committed a horrible crime in his past life to have such bad karma. Out of all the participants in the camp and out of all the summer camps offered to young Americans, he had to be travelling with the same agency, at the same dates and to the same destination and have his ex as a roommate? Kurt wanted to cry. He might have been dating Blaine for a few months now, but he was not over Sebastian. Sebastian who was his first everything, his first boyfriend, his first love, his first heartbreak. Things with him had ended quite badly when Sebastian made it clear he wasn’t into long, exclusive and romantic relationship by cheating on him with some name-less guy he hooked up with at Scandals during their junior year. Kurt had since been trying to avoid him at all costs, even transferring back from Dalton to McKinley while Karofsky was still there. The heartbreak was too much and thank god for Rachel and Mercedes who were there to pick up his shattered heart.

He was as handsome as ever, all slender, tanned freckled skin and green eyes, in a striped short-sleeved polo shirt with a popped collar and chino beige shorts, and it made Kurt’s heart ache. Oh, he was so not over him.

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he stood still when he recognized Kurt as well, and awkwardness settled between them. Their host family must had sensed something, because everyone fell silent while Kurt and Sebastian entered a starring contest. It was Marie who broke the silence first after a few tensed seconds.

“Bienvenue, Sebastian!” she said, standing up from her chair to greet him. “Did you have a good trip?”

She went to give him la bise, kissing him in the air once on each cheek and pulling Sebastian out of his trance. Kurt had been taken aback by the familiarity of the gesture but Sebastian kissed Marie like he had made French greetings all his life — and he probably had, he lived in France for a few years, Kurt remembered, and he wondered suddenly why Sebastian would go on a French study vacation if he was already fluent.

After greeting the children, Sebastian went up to Kurt and smirked at him and, god helped him, Kurt wanted nothing more but to rip that smirk off his face.

“Hey, Kurt,” he said. “Long time no see.”

Kurt couldn’t process what he was saying in French and stared dumbfounded at him. No way he was going to spend three weeks of his dream vacation with his ex-boyfriend.

“This can’t be real. I feel like I’m having a fever dream,” he said, his voice shaky.

Sebastian’s smile only widened and Kurt didn’t understand how he could pretend to be so casual about their unexpected reunion. Laurent came up to them and tried to make small talk to break the awkwardness.

“Do you guys know each other?” he asked.

“You could say that,” Sebastian answered, still looking at Kurt with his everlasting smugness.

Kurt finally pulled himself together and shot his best bitch look to Sebastian, not wanting for him to see how much he wrecked him in the past — and still did today — even though he just spent the last minute looking at Sebastian incredulously.

“Yeah, we have a slight history, we went to the same high school at some point,” Kurt said, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Well, that’s great!” Laurent said. “Your supervisors told us you have a group meeting at the beach tonight so that you could get to know the others traveling with you, but you two already know each other! You can share some high school memory!”

Kurt was certain he didn’t want to share some high school memory with Sebastian but didn’t say anything. His dream had suddenly turned into a nightmare. ____________________________

The supervisors had lit a portable barbecue on the beach and provided marshmallows for everyone. Kurt was a bit sad they were not allowed to light a bonfire on the beach but it made sense: causing a wildfire would be a terrible start for the holiday. They were thirty or so kids who decided to ditch the traditional summer camp for a more studious one, and Kurt made small talk with almost everyone, coming from all over the USA.

When he went up to the barbecue to roast his marshmallows, Sebastian chose this moment to talk to him. Kurt had tried to ignore him as best as he could back at the house, given the fact that they were going to share a room for three weeks, but Sebastian was intended on speaking with him.

“You won’t be able to avoid me for the whole trip, Kurt,” he said, roasting his marshmallows next to him.

“What are you even doing here, Sebastian?” he snapped, refusing to look at him. “You are fluent in French.”

“My mom wanted me to do something for the summer before college,” Sebastian answered. “And since sleeping in a tent with no bathroom and doing outdoors stuff is not my cup of tea, I thought, why not go back to France? Nice has awesome gay clubs and they allow you to drink at 18. Wanna come?”

“No, thanks,” Kurt said though gritted teeth.

He didn’t need to see his ex-boyfriend hitting on some handsome French boys. Clearly, unlike him, Sebastian had closure on their relationship.

“Your loss,” Sebastian smirked. “Though I have to admit, I’m quite sad we ended it up last year. You aged like a fine wine. Makes me wonder why I ended it. Heard you’re with Blaine now.”

He had only said five sentences to Kurt since they met again and, yet, he was already on his nerves. Kurt lost it and turned to him, his eyes glazing with anger.

“I ended it because you are a selfish little bitch who thinks with his dick!” he shouted, not caring if someone might hear him. “How could you do that to me?”

“Sorry, babe,” Sebastian said, and he didn’t seem sorry in the least. “But you knew what you were getting into with me. I don’t do romance, remember? I want to know what the world has to offer before I settle.”

“You didn’t have to rub it in my face! I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall in love with you!” Kurt spat.

His confession stopped Sebastian dead in his tracks and he looked at Kurt like he was seeing him for the first time.

“W-what?” he stuttered. “You were in love with me?”

“Like you didn’t know! You’re such an ass, you know that? You haven’t changed a bit, you’re still as irritating, selfish and obnoxious as ever!”

Kurt shot him his best glare but his expression softened when he saw the look of utter shock on Sebastian’s face. He really looked like he was clueless about Kurt’s feelings for him and too caught out by his confession to snark back at him. Kurt prided himself on being able to make Sebastian Smythe shut up every now and then.

“Seriously, Kurt. I didn’t know,” he said, astonished.

“Well, that wouldn’t have changed anything, right?” Kurt mumbled, anger leaving his voice. “Your cold heart wouldn’t care.”

Sebastian seemed hurt, but he didn’t say anything. Kurt huffed and took his marshmallow stick and went off, leaving Sebastian alone by the fire. He rejoined two girls he sympathized with and sat next to them, staring at the sea to forget about Sebastian.

It was going to be a long vacation.

. Here’s a. bit of a write up on corps life. 

my big number one? I wanna go back lmao. I’ve been home for a few days and I’m already to go back out there. 

Anyways. I spent two months camping and working in the pacific northwest and. honestly it was the most incredible experience of my life. I was on a five person crew (four members and a lead) and of that group there were only two people that hadn’t already done a session of conservation corps either at this corps or a different one. This was my first time doing a corps! I was like. deadass shitting a brick before I left. I was so nervous to fly across the country (I’d never even flown before!) and go do something I’d never done for two months. I’ve been camping. I’ve been hiking. I’d worked outside for the last nine months and had two seasons of outdoor work in park maintenance. but this was living out of tent for TWO months. I was super excited but I was. so fucking nervous too. And god to fly? Airports seemed scary and busy and I was scared I was gonna miss a flight or not be able to find where to go. So the weeks leading up to my trip I was so goddamn nervous. But I did it lmao. 

And then. corps life. We spent the first day doing orientation where I met my crew!! and then left to head to our campsite where we’d do saw training the next three days. We left the parking lot of headquarters to Colter Wall’s “The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie” and headed to an area in the Willamette National Forest. The drive there was incredible. I’d flown into Oregon the night before and really hadn’t seen much because it was 9:30 when I landed and had only taken a short lyft ride to headquarters p early in the morning so. This was kind of my first time getting to see more than the freeway of Oregon. It was so beautiful. The big ass trees and the river and the mountains were just. incredible. And then that night two of my crewmates made entirely too much spaghetti which we had for two nights. We then had to use the leftover sauce for another meal. Fun fact! We only had spaghetti once more after that. In two months. Spaghetti is usually a staple on corps. Not on Red Crew. We were scared. Also the crewmember who doled out the pasta portions for that very first dinner of too much spaghetti was banned by our crew contract from doling out grain portions. After that, we went into saw training. Three straight days of saw training and evaluations on the last day. We were starting at seven I think? Like, meeting a five minute walk away in full ppe with saws ready to go at 7am. I think I wrote that I woke up at 4:45 the one morning but honestly that may have been the jet lag. Saw training was exhausting but it was so much fun too. There was a lot of information to take in and I’d at least run a chainsaw before. There were people that hadn’t run saws before at all. On the third day of saw training, we loaded up into our rig (by the way! 2021 ford f250. super duty cab. extended bed with a truck cap. gigantic. massive. imposing. it also had no labelling. it was not marked with anything corps related. it did not even have license plates. it was probably a little intimidating when we were bass boosting driving around in that thing. but whiplash inducing bass boosting because like. notorious big to mumford and sons back to back. can you believe that we never got pulled over in driving almost 5,000 miles). anyways. we did saw evals in a burned zone. I got my bar pinched. I know what I’d do differently now but I have a lot more saw time. But I passed! My whole crew passed and are now USDA National Sawyer Certification A Class Sawyers. Or Feller 3s depending on how you wanna say it. I’m super happy because I got my first professional certification at 19. Although my card says I got it after my birthday but I did my eval before I turned 20 so I’m gonna take it. 

After saw training, we went up to a suburb of Portland to. sigh. move sticks for Karens. The area we were in SCREAMED homeowners association. in the name of “fuels reduction” they had us pick up sticks and hike them down to the road. The sticks were down because the trees were dying from this shitty little park. The first week was cold and rainy and we moved sticks. We cleared out an area close to the road the first day and then the rest of the week we had to swamp (move/clear) sticks up a hill onto this narrow trail. Everyone had blisters because no one was used to walking up and down a hill all day. Carrying wet and occasionally rotting sticks. We’d hike it up the hill to the trail and then load sticks into shitty wheelbarrows and then take those down this narrow path on a steep hill when it was fully loaded with sticks. By the end of the week we were walking a good quarter/half mile to the the road with heavy wheelbarrows. It was miserable. NO one wanted to complain because it was our first project but. eventually we all came to the conclusion that it was bullshit. It had nice views tho. Still my least favorite project. Even thought it was miserable I still like. had fun?? 

After that we went into Washington and planted trees. We actually did this for two weeks but with another site in between. This site uh. did not have bathrooms. Learned how to use a cathole. It hailed the first time I used a cathole. That was exceptionally miserable. But we planted trees! I wasn’t a huge fan of the site our first time there but I warmed up to it. We planted over 3,000 trees in our two weeks. One of our project partners stayed out with us, which mad respect. He was so sweet. We all joked that we were a little in love with him. He wound up hanging out with us during a few of our campfires. He told us about this trip he’d taken back in college to Peru. At this site we coined the phrase “meat plate” which would stay with us until the end of session. Meat plate is dinner that is just, assorted meats that need to be gotten out of the coolers. Also on this site a crewmember got his hand in stinging nettle while taking a shit. The first week was cold. It was rainy and shitty, mostly on the weekend. We did check out the ocean though!! I’d never been to see the ocean and we took the 101 north from near the Willamette to where we were and stopped actually at Fort Stevens State Park and that’s where I got to see the ocean for the first time. In march! It was sunny but actually super nice. We all waded in and one of my crewmates jumped in. It was march. IT was cold. This is the Pacific Ocean. Anyways he’s built different. The second time at the site was a week later, and it was super pretty. It was much better weather. We planted more trees. 

Third week was further in Washington like an hour drive from Olympia. This was my first time seeing snow covered mountains that were massive in the distance. We cleaned up 195 trashbags of plastic plant protectors. Also kind of a shitty project but hey. Wasn’t hiking stuff up hills so. Our partner for this had people come talk to us for educational stuff which was okay, bad, and fantastic in order lol. The partner sent people from their org to be with the speakers (who weren’t part of the org) and we told the one lady what we’d been doing and she started LAUGHING and she was like “I’m sorry they gave you that project it’s because no one else wanted to do it” thanks. it was a shitty task but our partners were so nice that it made up for it. they even got a portapotty on site for us. no but they were all super nice. oh god they’d told us not to yell/slam doors/make loud noises because there was an owl in the barn on the property. we all were loud people and kind of forgot but it was okay we didn’t scare the bird. the bird scared us. one of my crewmates got up to go pee in the middle of the night and it swooped at him. this place was great for birds. We had a very angery killdeer beep at us!! we pulled out scotchbroom from the corner of the property and every time we walked near where it must have had its nest it would very angrily beep at us. It was so cute. We all loved it. My crewlead would always yell back at it. “What!! What do you want!!” I love that lil bird. Pulling out scotchbroom was a trip. To pull out scotchbroom you should in theory be ale to use a weedwrench to pry it out. Right? No. This was old growth scotch broom. This stuff was two inches in diameter as the smallest. It wouldn’t always fit in the weedwrenches. At one point it took me, my crewlead, and a crewmate to pull a scotchbroom with as much force/bodyweight as we could put on it. A couple times my crewlead put his entire bodyweight on to it and wound up falling into blackberry lmao. There was so much blackberry there too my god. It was so painful. We all kept joking about letting our crewlead just burn the area in a prescribed burn to get rid of the invasives. In the parking lot of a different preserve from the same partner org I found a red dinosaur who became one of our crew mascots.

After our second week back planting trees, we headed back down to Oregon to work on a fuels reduction project. We were all so excited for this one. We’d gotten certed for saws at the beginning of the session and had been told that we were gonna be a saw crew doing mostly fuels reduction which our lead had specifically asked to do because he had experience with it. But this was our first real saw project with fuels reduction. The weather this week was amazing. It didn’t rain at all, which on the West side of the Cascades in Oregon in April is pretty weird. It was nice for us but Oregon was and maybe still is in a drought. yikes! anyways. this is when we went on a hike to Blue Pool in the Wilamette National Forest. We camped at a little municipal park with another crew! It was weird being around another crew again because we’d spent so long just on our own that we all starting to lose it a little. But the other crew was super nice and we played frisbee in the dark with them the first night we were in the area. The project? was amazing. We worked on private project with a conglomerate of partners in doing fuels reduction. This conglomerate of partners did a whole bunch of other stuff but we only did fuels reduction. That was a week of working in a burn zone moving sticks. Moving sticks and swamping and making sure piles were neat to be able to be chipped. We learned about dispersing and how to remove ladder fuels and where to leave small logs on the ground for ground fuel. My crewlead showed us hazard trees and took a few out. I really loved this project. I loved the “grab stick go” part of it. It was so much fun. I also got to run a lot of saw which was nice. And this property bordered a parcel of BLM land which wound up being the spot we went to go pee at. If you’ve never been West of the Mississippi river, which I hadn’t(!) you’ve never had the opportunity to be on BLM land. There is no BLM land in the East. I wanted to go on all five of big public land holders in the US and that’s the one I don’t have access to here at home. We actually wound up taking a “nature appreciation walk” because we finished our work early around this little nugget of land and it was so cool. It was right on the McKenzie river and it was beautiful. I found our second crew pet/mascot there, a large palm sized egg shaped rock named “Egg.” We were so filthy there. Four 10s in a burn zone makes ya pretty stinky when you dont get to shower. Actually, we weren’t as stinky here because we just smelled like ash. I had ash everywhere. We went out to eat after the last day and my crewlead hadn’t washed his face in four days and was completely covered in ash. 

Our last project took us 8 hours back into Washington. It was a long fucking drive. We stopped at Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland tho which was incredible. We rolled into our spot in Washington at 12:40. We slept with our sleeping pads and sleeping bags under a pavilion and were woken up by a ranger the next morning who thought we were homeless or illegally camping. This last project was also kinda bullshit. We were working with the Feds who kept telling us to slow down. We were at this project site for three weeks. The first week we cleared trails of downed trees and brushcut. The second and third weeks we helped General Maintenance take down trees and did so many runs to the dumpsite. We moved a lot of sticks and logs and my arms still look super scratched from moving branches. This spot was in the high desert of Eastern Washington and it was actually super pretty. I didn’t think I’d like the desert all that much but there was definitely a beauty to it. There wasn’t shit out there other than the dam. From there tho we were able to go to Leavenworth, this funky little Bavarian themed village up near the Cascades. We also went to Lake Wenatchee, which wasn’t as fun because we had to go move a fridge for the office staff. We spent about seven and a half hours on our last weekend doing this. I’m not salty. But it was super beautiful so. It’s okay. And we passed a prescribed burn on the way back to our site. 

There’s still so much more I want to write and talk about. I have to say I’m overall. just so glad I did this. I had the absolute time of my life. I have never had so much fun. I learned so much. I learned how to really put out a fire with a pulaski from my crewlead. He taught us how to use the Incident Response Pocket Guide to cross reference and look at the probability of ignition. I learned how to use a chainsaw decently well. I did a lot of things that were far beyond my comfort zone. To fly literally halfway across the country, from Ohio to Oregon, for two months and to live in a tent and work on a conservation corps, it was super beyond my comfort zone. I did things with a saw that were beyond my comfort zone and I had to trust in my ability to saw and trust in my crewlead to let me do something he felt comfortable with me doing and thought was in my capability. And it was it was so fucking cool. I really bonded with everyone on y crew too. I made some good friends. And just like. The things I was able to see and do were amazing. And it was so nice to spend so much time outside. I didn’t spend more than an hour or two at most in a building in two months. I worked in 50s and rain wearing rainpants and chainsaw chaps and I worked in the 80s and sun in chainsaw chaps. I was able to lift a full 5 gal of water (40lbs) onto my shoulder and I’m still super proud of it. I watched a ton of movies in the rig with my crewlead and one of my crewmates. I got to use my crewlead’s chainsaw which was a lot cooler, sharper, and bigger than our corps saws. I cried about trees a lot. I celebrated my 20th birthday in a state park with people I didn’t really know too well who surprised me with homemade rice crispie treats and snacks from the Chevron we were regulars for that week at. I hiked some really pretty trails. I gave a lot of hugs and got a lot of hugs. I became not as terrible at hacky sack. I realized that There Are People In My Life Who See Good Things In Me and I Just Want To Keep Making Them Proud. I realized that I’m incredibly hard on myself. This whole thing furthered my belief of goddammit if I wanna do it by god I’ll do it. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 to go be on a conservation corps. I got interested in corps life at 15 because of Youth Conservation Corps posting in Wayne National Forest in southern ohio and since then had just. Always wanted to do it. And that literally changed my life - because of just hearing about corps I got super into parks and researched it and was like “oh i wanna be a park ranger” and I started working at the park doing maintenance and went to school briefly for parks and rec management and then dropped out to work more in parks. but then this year, after five years of wanting to do it, I finally did a conservation corps. Not a youth corps but an adult corps. Five years! The biggest dream I had was to work on a conservation corps. I just wanted to use a pulaski on a trail once. And I did at our last project site, even just removing invasives. But just. This experience was something I’d wanted to do for so long and to finally do it and have it be as amazing as I thought was just amazing. My crewlead saw me taking pictures in Washington along the Willapa bay and was just like “corps is a slippery slope. You either hate it or you get addicted to it.” Tragically I’m addicted to it. I can’t wait until next January and March to get back out there. It was such an amazing experience and I feel like I learned a lot of really good soft skills and really good hard skills. I can’t possibly explain to anyone the full extent of what this meant to me and all the fun I had but. This is a long post and I have to go replace my phone so this will be it for now. In the off chance anyone made it this far, thanks. 

Please Assist Me (Chapter 11)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Warning: mentions of sex

She Said

Having had such a lovely day at the beach, Keanu offered to take me and the kids back there again on Sunday.  We headed out early  as we didn’t know if it would get crazily busy.  It was a bit more off the beaten track than the LA beaches that were on the evening news, heaving with people not distancing from each other and the kids always wake early so it was no hardship really.

Keanu came into his own at the beach having seemingly endless energy for games, swimming and bodysurfing. By 3pm, our energy was waning  and I could feel the saltiness on my sun-drenched skin and that wonderful tiredness from being out in the fresh air all day. We headed home and the children were asleep on the back seat in under 10 minutes.  

 “we’ve beaten them for once thanks to you” I grinned.

Back at my house the kids revived enough for a quick dinner of pasta with pesto before a little quiet time in front of the TV then stories and bed. We each took a kid for a story and met up in the living room afterwards. I was down first and set some music playing from my phone on the speakers.

The music was being selected at random from my playlist. Just as Keanu got down after finishing Miguel’s story, a familiar tune started up.  Keanu laughed out loud as the simple piano notes of “This never happened before” started.

“Really?”

“I swear it’s just on random selection!”

“OK, I believe you – so do you wanna dance”

There was no need to answer that as he well knew! As we moved to the music, I can’t deny that I was thinking about that scene as I nestled into his chest and slid my arms up and around his neck. We were soon kissing, sooner than him and Sandra I think! I was utterly lost in the moment and his kisses until I heard a creak from the corner of the room. We both heard it and pulled away from each other, startled but there was nothing there ……. or so we thought.

He said

Our family day at the beach was idyllic and we managed to avoid the crowds and the paps as far as we were aware. And there was nothing to see from a Pap point of view anyway as we were playing it cool in front of the kids.

The day left my skin taught from the sun, sea and wind and I had that lovely tiredness you feel from a full day of outdoor fun. In the evening we danced and kissed to “It Never Happened Before” which was both weird and lovely. Our dance was cut short though when we heard a noise  - the moment was lost and I realised as well just how tired I was so decided to head home. We each had a busy week ahead so I likely wouldn’t see her until the following weekend. If she could arrange a sleepover for the kids, maybe there was a chance  she might be feeling ready to take the next step by then.

Then, on Tuesday evening I had an interesting call from Sophia

“So I have some news”

“Oh yeah what?”

“So Eva asked me today if you were my boyfriend!”

“Oh, right, how did she figure that out?”

“Well, when she told Julie that she had seen us kissing ..”

“What?!”

“Yup, anyway so Julie said you must be my boyfriend if you were kissing me!”

It turned out that when we were dancing and heard that little noise, Eva had forgotten her doll and popped downstairs to get it and had glimpsed us dancing and kissing. She’d then told Julie who’d obviously asked Sophia about it.

“So what did Julie say”

“Well she said that all the other bubble mums had totally realised why I wanted you to join the bubble and knew it wasn’t because you were lonely”

“Are we that transparent?”

“Well obviously I am! They said they knew I’d been mooning over you for at least 6 months!” She chuckled as did I.

“And Julie also made us an offer”

“Oh yeah what kind of offer, does she want paying off to keep the secret?”

“No don’t be ridiculous  - that’s a given. What happens in the bubble, stays in the bubble OK? No,  she said that next week when it’s her school day she’ll keep my 2 overnight and take them to the next mom so we can have a couple of days and a night together. Are you free Tuesday, Wednesday?”

In an instant I said I was.

“You can’t have checked your diary that quickly!”

“Well if there’s anything in it, I’ll move it – or my PA will!”

She burst out laughing at that

“OK Boss. Sooooo it’s a date then”

“Yup, a special date”

She Said

Being discovered like that was a blessing but since it also accelerated the big moment, it filled me with nerves - excitement too but mainly nerves.

I think Keanu sensed my nerves as each time he called and asked what I wanted to do during the day, I was struggling to think, almost paralysed by what was going to come next!

“Look, let’s focus on the rest of the day OK, I can tell you’re worrying about, you know, the rest of our plans but try not to please.  I want to please you, OK and I think you want that too right?”

“Yes, of course”

“So everything will fine if we relax and focus on that OK?”

“OK”

So he took over and suggested another bike ride up PCH and a short hike, maybe around Topanga Canyon before going back to his house. He then said we could order take-out from one of his favourite restaurants, Georgio Baldi sending me the menu to choose ahead of the day.

The time we had before our date allowed me to buy some new underwear – I definitely hadn’t thought about underwear in a sexy way for 3 years at least so it was fun to choose something new though I ended up ordering several different sets online because there was no option to go to an actual shop and try things on. I was going to wear my yellow sun dress for our dinner  - I had in inkling he liked it on me. I did see him in person too before our actual date since there were PA tasks that required me to be at his house on some days but we mostly kept to business unless I was there for lunch when we’d take a break and share a meal on the patio together.

When Tuesday came at last, his choice of the ride and hike turned out to be just what we needed to relax and enjoy each other’s company and the great outdoors instead of everything being focussed on what was going to happen later.  We made it up to one of the canyon’s best viewing points by lunchtime and sat looking over the spectacular views to the city and the sea.  We had stopped on our way for sandwiches from Keanu’s favourite deli that was fortunately still open for take out, stowing them in a cool bag in one of the paniers on the bike. He had all the gear for the touring bike that made things comfortable for a day out. We spent a good half hour of our time at the viewpoint talking sandwiches! He’d gone for a BLT because it needed to travel OK but if we’d been eating straight away he’d have gone for a hot pastrami sandwich instead he told me, lovingly describing the relishes and gherkins he’d include. He sure can talk with passion and knowledge about his food preferences for someone who really doesn’t cook!

After a little more hiking up at the canyon after lunch, we made our way back to his house where we cooled off in the pool for a while.  Now we were properly alone, not to mention not wearing many clothes, Keanu took his opportunity to get up close and personal. I was resting against the pool side, eyes closed leaning my head back and enjoying the sun while he did a few lengths. I noticed that the splashing had stopped and opened my eyes but couldn’t see him. A moment later I gasped as he popped up from the water right in front of me having swum a length underwater. He was delighted at my surprised reaction and leaned in to kiss me, pinning my arms back against the edge of the pool. My legs instinctively went up around his waist and I could already feel his hard on pressing against me as he looked hotly down at my cleavage and groaned.

“Sorry, I’m being like a horny teenager aren’t I?”

I giggled at that, he was so sweet and playful so in that way, yes, he was young in attitude but he had none of the horrible demanding nature of a real teen.

“Nahhh, horny teens are pushy, you’re just needy I guess”

“Yup, why don’t we get out and get showered and changed ready for dinner. The restaurant delivery is due in around an hour so we can have the crostini out here with some champagne”

He hopped out of the pool and helped me out too.

“You trying to get me drunk Reeves, coz I can tell you, you don’t need to”

“Nope, just trying to please you, like we said”

“OK then”

I was smiling as I headed to his room and the shower while he set the dinner table and got drinks chilling.

  @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles  

Something I need to talk about or I’ll literally evaporate

Around the time this all started I was 14. I had only recently discovered a passion for theater (and fashion) and as a result I wanted to get in good with the theater kids. Sure enough, my closest friend also did theater. We auditioned for the Fall play, and I made it. I got to know some people pretty well. They liked me too, at least, I think so. Can’t be too sure of who to trust when everyone around you is an actor. Regardless, I was feeling pretty good about myself.

One of my struggles, throughout most of my short life, has been that I am an incredibly picky romantic. Maybe it’s just my intuition, but if I don’t think something is going to work out between someone and myself, I snuff it out at the first possible opportunity. It’s a skill to be able to break up with someone, that’s for sure. However, I had a bit of an entitlement complex. I thought I deserved love just for being who I was. My 14-year-old ego was raging. It wasn’t cool. It probably wasn’t helped by the next person I met, whose influence on my life has been astronomical. 

I can’t use her real name (I like to remain semi anonymous), so we’ll call her Marie. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. How we met was a complete accident.

 It was the first day of winter. I had just entered a relationship. I was walking to where my friends ate lunch at. There was an eating area, surrounded by some bushes, in between where I was coming from and where I was headed. In this bushy area, I saw an old friend of mine and 3 of her friends. While I walked past she was in the midst of saying “My dog almost died last night.” Upon hearing this, I replied “Oh no, I love your dog!” And I walked away. Behind me, I heard -- or at least thought I heard -- someone say, “I love you [my name].” To which, of course, I replied “I love you too!” Biggest mistake of my life. I thought -- and secretly, hoped -- that it was Marie that said it. 

School was let out for a two-week break. During that time, I tried connecting with my ill-fated match (truly, we were not meant to be), all the while I couldn’t shake what had transpired on that island in the middle of the parking lot. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if Marie said it or not. I messaged her over social media, and asked, very bluntly, “Was it you who said ‘I love you [my name]?’” and she replied with “I don’t know. I say ‘I love you’ a lot.” After that interaction we just kept talking. I was fascinated with this beautiful girl who I had only ever met once. And she certainly loved the attention. I would text her nonstop, for weeks on end. One day, she gave me her number and asked to facetime. That only deepened my affection for her. 

My previously-mentioned girlfriend at the time broke up with me. Not because I did anything, just because we wanted very different things. This, though a little sad, was more freeing than anything. It meant that I could put everything into this new girl that I’d met. And I went crazy. I was texting or calling her every minute of every day for months. We’re talking around the middle of December towards probably the end of February. In mid-January, it became pretty obvious to her that I had feelings. 

“But I’m not allowed to date until I’m sixteen,” I said. She said she’d wait. I wasn’t going to be sixteen for another year-and-a-half, and here she was, saying she’d wait for me. She even put a little ‘two years’ after my name in her contacts. My heart was fluttering. I was so hopelessly, desperately infatuated with this girl. We kept going. I’d text her day-in, day-out, and there was never a problem.

But that was the problem. I was very, very, interested in Marie. My entire mood depended on her. Late one night, around the end of February, I called her. I told her I couldn’t talk to her anymore. That it was too painful to spend every day talking to someone I loved but could never have for myself. And what I said to her, while she cried over losing me, was,

“Eat your greens.” and I hung up. 

Thus, I entered the pit of despair that the Gregorian calendar calls “March.” It sure as hell felt like a March. Every day I was trudging through feelings of loneliness, longing, anger, self-doubt. I wasn’t doing better. It felt like it would be easier to just go back. And guess what I did?

I went back.

It took me less than a month to go back to Marie -- partially, because I was thoroughly convinced that I loved her, but partially because I knew that her presence in my life made everything a lot easier. It gave me a small sense of purpose. And it was a never-ending cycle of one of us leaving because our feelings were too much. Because I loved her or because she didn’t love me. Because of how she felt about herself. It was torment, and it was a lot of back and forth. 

This brings us up to the night before memorial day that year. Her brother was in my grade, and we had known each other because we both were in the Fall play together. He invited me to sleep over at his house the Sunday prior to Memorial day. I’d slept over at their house before. Seeing her there was a regular occurrence, but, more often than not my attention was turned to whatever her brother wanted to do out of politeness. Though, vine compilations do get boring after a time.

Somehow or other, all three of us ended up cuddling on their trampoline in the backyard. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. We just sat there, talking, staring at the sky. It was a beautiful May night. Her brother had fallen asleep spooning me, so it became just her and I talking. She said I was a good to cuddle. I looked at her. She looked at me. She told me she wanted to kiss me. She said she was afraid to kiss me. I said it was okay. I lied. We kissed. We kissed again. She went inside. I stayed there and watched stars fall from the sky as I felt my heart soar into heaven. 

When I woke up, I was in hell again. 

After that I don’t remember much. I know we stopped talking once the summer began. I don’t remember why. I know we went to the pool once. I remember thinking she was beautiful. I remember visiting her house a couple times during the summer. After that, it’s nothing. 

We went back to school, and it was very unlucky that we were basically apart of the same friend group. I had yet another girlfriend (at this point I’d given up on ever dating Marie) and my girlfriend’s friends, my friends, and sometimes Marie and her friends, all ate together. Time passed, my girlfriend and I broke up and my best friend and I were eating somewhere new. 

Eventually, we all got resettled and started eating with a teacher we all liked, called Mr. Johnson. He was a really great teacher and a really great, caring guy. 

It was around this time that I lost my grandfather. He was a huge influence on my life. My grandfather was so full of compassion and a lust for life. He really believed in helping other people. I can’t remember much from this period of time either. My memories start to recollect around November of that year. 

My best friend was done with me. So was Marie. So was everyone else I know. They wanted nothing to do with me. They were upset that I was upset. That’s all it really was. Marie was upset that I was upset with her and my best friend was upset that I wouldn’t talk to him about how upset I was. So I was going into the new year with a very minimal amount of close friends and tons of grief. 

It went on like that for a month or two. My best friend eventually forgave me. Marie came around too, but that took a little longer. 

I remember, one night, I was with two of my good friends when Marie called me. She said,

“[My name], I cut myself, and it’s really deep. I’m scared.”

When I got home, I snuck out the back door and ran to go see her. She was at the local park, smoking with her friend and her brother. I was a little disappointed. I ran up to her to go see her. she invited me to come smoke with them. I obliged. I hated every second of it. The fact that she was using the drugs as a way to hide from what had happened. It didn’t sit well with me. I was worried about her. I was terrified for her.

I just remembered that happened before my grandpa died and not after, sorry. 

I guess the clearest point of this all that I can think of was March of the new year. We were pretty close.

Things got intense. More intense than they had ever been before. We started exchanging photos. Sexting. At the expense, I think, of really confronting how we felt. We settled for something that bordered on reality, but was very far from it in practice. However, an almost-good thing can never really last. 

In late April, she came out to me as a lesbian. 

I don’t have anything against lesbians. This particular occurrence has happened to me numerous times, in fact. It’s a little sad but I try not to think about it too much. I actually talk to one of my lesbian exes a lot. It’s nice. Their love for women is much more akin to mine than any of my straight male friends. 

Marie and I didn’t talk to each other for three months after that, until late one night when I was traveling. According to her, my timing was excellent. While I was across the country, she was staying with a friend, and one of the people who was with her was applying great pressure to engage in some activities. Knowing that I prevented this was a small little victory for me.

I called her again the night after that. This time, she was at home. It didn’t take long for things to get intimate. At least, as intimate as you can get over the phone. Writing this right now, all I can think of is how much I hate that it happened. 

Things went on like this for some time. We were semi-intimate with each other and we were each other’s emotional punching bags when we needed one. And we were both okay like this until one day, things really took a nose dive. 

I was sitting in one of our schools many outdoor areas, leaned up against a fire hydrant, talking to my friends. I’m always looking for Marie at this point, and eventually she comes up to me and she says,

“Don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“My friend invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I think I might go. Please, don’t be mad.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” I was furious. 

My inability to confront people is one of my more toxic traits. I feel that this particular instance really demonstrates that.

The bell rang, and she walked away, and I walked away. I spent my next two classes with nothing on my mind but how mad I was. When I didn’t see her at lunch, it only upset me more. I felt like I was nothing to her. She was my rock, my everything, but I was always secondary to her. It’s not like we were together or anything, but it still hurt quite a bit. I thought we had some sort of understanding. 

I was walking to my locker, just trying to put all the extra energy I had somewhere. I had to get books for my French class, which Marie and I had together. As I’m walking, I’m not really looking up or around me because I’m so withdrawn from everything. So, it’s not surprising that I didn’t see her walk up to me. But I did see her try to hug me, and my immediate response was one that I will regret for some time. 

She comes up, out of nowhere, to hug me, and instead of embracing her, I catch her arm before it can come up under me, and push her away. And she goes back about two feet. And I walk away. And I’m about twenty feet away before I realize what I did and call her to apologize. And the she comes and finds me and yells at me. And then we didn’t talk for another two months. 

But come November, we’re talking again. And come November nineteenth, I’m her boyfriend. And we slept together. And we were always on top of each other wherever we were. And I think it distracted me from how much I sucked. I changed, and for the worst. I no longer tried to love her. I don’t think I wanted to. I think that everything that happened between us made me a much worse person. 

Eventually, we did break up. It’s been, I think, a year now since then. I’m sorry if this isn’t a very well-put piece of writing. I did try to make it enjoyable. The details get a little fuzzy. I just needed to get this out there. 

For whoever ends up reading this. Trust me, it gets better. There is better out there for you. If something isn’t meant to be, it really isn’t meant to be. True love waits. 

The Prince

Prince!Iida x Tutor!Reader

Fluff, Pining, Humor, Slight Angst (?)

Words: 5K

Warnings: Brief mention of blood/assassins

The floor rumbles beneath dozens of pairs of shoes and even though it’s almost completely covered, you catch flashes of the polished wood between songs.  It shimmers, reflecting back the lights of the chandelier, twinkling brightly enough to rival the stars. However beautiful and spectacular it all seemed though, you still missed spending hours alone, watching the real stars.  Your work in Inginea had left you with very little time to explore; your nights usually consisted of preparing lessons and lectures deemed fitting for members of the royal family.  It would be nice to spend time outdoors again, to feel the cool night air tickle your nose, making the hairs on the back of your neck rise.  Then again, the next time you experienced that, you’d likely be standing on the deck of some ship that was homeward bound, carrying you far away from this place and its people.  That part wasn’t so nice. In fact, it was downright depressing.

You’re jolted from your self-pity when you recognize a familiar face from across the dancefloor.  You hadn’t expected to meet Iida here tonight, but you can’t say that it’s a shock to see him standing there, seeming uncharacteristically frazzled as he sidles through the mass of swirling bodies surrounding him.  

It’s his posture that gives him away; no common person ever made such an effort to keep his shoulders so far back, his chin so steeply angled upward, his feet so firmly planted—like he was imitating the oaks lining the perimeter of the castle gates.  No, the decorum with which this man carried himself was the sort that they only taught royalty—only taught princes.  You grin and begin to shimmy your way through the crowd.

It takes more than a few gentle nudges and one less-than-subtle shove, but you eventually brave the chaos and reach him.  To his credit, Iida’s disguise was spot-on. There wasn’t a sign of his family’s sigil on any of his garments. No royal blue doublet covering his chest, no moonstone pendants gracing his neck; he had obviously gone out of his way to pass himself off as common—a near-impossible feat given the fact that the man practically oozed refinement.  Still, the laces of his shirt are frayed now and his britches stained.  If you hadn’t known his face so well, you might’ve thought him a stablehand and not the next in line for his father’s throne.  

“It’s a pleasant surprise to see you this far from the palace, sir.”  You greet him, careful to avoid using his true title. Iida flinches when you address him, but then he squints and realizes it’s only you.  He frowns.

“Was I really that easy to pick out of the crowd?  I was certain that this time, my attire was—”

“It wasn’t your attire that betrayed you.”  Had anyone from the palace witnessed the way you’d interrupted the crown prince, you might’ve received your dismissal much earlier than you intended to.  Then again, others might have been wholly more apathetic towards the situation.  Everyone was still rather confused when it came to the proper way of addressing each of the princes.  After all, Tenya Iida was the younger of the Iida brothers. He’d been raised with the same careful care and instruction as his brother all his life, for no reason other than tradition.  Because originally, Tenya wasn’t supposed to be the next king.

“To the average person, yes, you look perfectly ordinary.  But me?  I know you too well for that.  I also don’t know a single lordling that puts so much effort into the way he stands.  It was a noble effort though.  Well-thought-out.”

You nod him away from the crowd with your chin, leading him towards a quieter corner of the hall.  Nobody bats an eye. The common people knew of their king and queen, yes, but the royal children were another matter altogether.  Tensei’s face had been woven into banners lining the wall in the days leading to his coronation, so at least a few would recognize him.  Tenya had no banners, and thus, no face as far as the public was concerned.  That would change soon enough, though.

It wasn’t uncommon for assassins to be sent after royalty.  Enemies to the crown, families of those accused of treason, even other princes and princesses had all been historically known to hire men to “do away with” their opponents.  What wasn’t common was for these killers-for-hire to make it past the palace walls—to make it to the crown prince ’s chamber, unseen.  Nobody but Tensei could know for certain what occurred that fateful night, but castle gossip would have you believe a dozen versions of the same story, all with the same conclusion: an assassin lying in a pool of their own blood and a prince that was now crippled from the waist down.

Some liked to whisper that it’d been the king and queen’s decision to pass over Tensei—that they’d rushed at the opportunity to hand off the crown to Tenya, the second son, before the panic set in. Others claimed that it had been a collective decision, made by the whole of the court.  Supposedly, advisors sought to prevent rumors of weakness within the monarchy, while the nobility simply sought to replace Tensei with someone more malleable to their demands. Having actually spoken with the (current) crown prince, you knew all of these rumors to be false.

The way Tenya told it, his brother had abdicated of his own volition, long before knowing of the permanent nature of his injuries. Because Tensei had reasoned that, if he could not protect himself from one man, what right did he have to try and protect a nation from many?  And once he’d made up his mind, there was no arguing with him. The members of the Iida family were notoriously stubborn; no amount of pleading would be able to sway the prince's decision.

So every effort was directed towards Tenya Iida, the new future king.  An array of instructors were hired to fill gaps in the prince’s knowledge—nearly all of them foreign and much younger than the typical world-weary, wiry-haired persons that had formerly been in the employ of the palace.  The prince needed people to instruct him on the world beyond Inginea—the way it worked and the direction it was heading in.

That was where you came in.  

“It seems there are still many things I need to learn.”  Iida sighs, staring down at his hands, fumbling with the edge of his coat.  “I’m afraid I’ll never be ready to be k—” he catches himself before he betrays his identity, “—for the part that comes next.”

You lean back against a pillar.  “Nobody is ever ‘ready’ to lead. It comes with time.  Until then, your tutors and advisors will be here to guarantee that you understand whatever it is you need in order to rule.”

“But you’re leaving, so you won’t be one of them.”  Iida’s words catch you off guard. You’d been careful to keep news of your departure confidential.  Only the king and queen knew… but then again, you suppose that was how he’d learned.  From his parents.

“It’s true.  I’m taking a boat home in the morning.”  Neither of you speaks. The moment is tense and weighed down by a mountain of unspoken words, things you each want very much to say.  Still, there’s no silence—the party and merrymaking endure in spite of your quietude.  

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me these past few days?”

You fight desperately to keep the edges of your mouth turned upward—to keep tidbits of truth from tinging your expression.  “I’m not a fan of the word ‘avoiding.’  It implies there’s a deliberate decision being made.  Perhaps I’ve simply been keeping myself busy? I did seek you out tonight, didn’t I?  And while we’re on the subject of language, the phrase ‘past few days’ is far too unspecific of a time period to—”

“Don’t do that,” Iida says, his tone firm— firm and authoritative.  Good: he was beginning to sound like a king should.  “Don’t launch into a lecture so you don’t have to answer my questions.  Especially if this is the last night I’ll ever see you.”

You chew on your lip.  Pushing the prince any further would do no further good—he’d already followed you out this far.  After all, the last thing you wanted was for hundreds of pleasant memories with him to be soured by one, less-than-pleasant farewell.

“I’m not a fan of tearful goodbyes.  I thought it might be easier to part if I distanced myself a bit, but then you had to go and ruin my plans by showing up tonight.”  You exhale, finally letting your frown show. “There is very little that a foreigner could ever teach you in ways of domestic affairs, and you’ve learned all that I have to share in regards to foreign cultures.  There’s no reason for me to remain here any longer than I already have.”

The non-silence returns, just as awkward as the first.  This time, Iida is the one to break it.

“How long has it been since you first arrived here?”  The question catches you off guard. But you suppose it’s nicer than enduring the many other, more difficult questions he could send your way.

“About a year, I expect.  I remember they were just taking down the decorations from the New Year’s celebration when I got off the boat.”  You recall the thrill you’d felt at the time, coming to a strange new land full of opportunity, experiences, learning.  “There were these round, white objects hanging from the streetlamps at the docks—they almost looked like masks.”

Iida’s face perks up, just a bit.  It wasn’t often that he had the opportunity to teach you something.  “That’s because they were masks.  They’re an old symbol here, meant to encourage a hasty end to the cold.  The seas are rougher during winter months, so it’s believed that ancient sailors would wear masks to protect their faces from the saltwater spray, and also to frighten off harmful spirits that might sink a ship.  The first recorded figure from the time was Ingineum, the person whom our land was named after they—” He cuts himself off, as though he’s only just realized his excessive enthusiasm on the topic—the way his hands have shot up from his sides, gesticulating wildly.

“So, it’s really been a year then...”  Iida laughs nervously, his voice trailing off into the ambient noise of the room.  His face is a tinge pink, and you have to be grateful that he seems to have forgotten how angry he’s supposed to be with you.  “Is it strange that I feel as though I’ve known you for much longer than that?”

You smile.  “Not at all.  Do you remember our first lesson?”

“How could I not?  You walked into the study nearly an hour late, and you were sopping wet .”

“I got lost in the garden and it was raining and—”

“—and the gardens are indoors, so the rain is negligible.

“It was an added stress to my already-eventful first day.”  

Iida rolls his eyes.  His glasses are missing—probably abandoned in an attempt to better devote himself to his disguise (however unnecessary it ended up being)—so you get to see every second of the uncharacteristically cheeky gesture. “That still doesn’t explain how you found a way to—”

“—fall into the fountain?  The thing is carved out into the middle of the floor!  It’s a wonder more people don’t tumble into it, especially when the palace is swarming with children and servants that always seem to be in such a rush to get somewhere important.  I’ll never understand why your family never put a barrier around it.”

“There’s never been a need to: it’s massive!  Do the people from your home not know to mind their step?”

“Do the people here never have an ounce of fun?”

Iida stares, his jaw hanging low, mouth agape like he’s ready to lecture you on the difference between “fun” and “foolery.”  When he doesn’t waver after a minute of that, you counter with a wide-eyed glare of your own.  Then his lip twists upward and a stifled snort erupts from your nose, and before either of you fully-realizes what’s going on, you’re both doubled over, cackling—full-on, without an ounce of care for the dozens of haughty faces sending disapproving looks your way.  Iida grabs your elbow, his shoulders still shaking with the weight of his laughter, and drags you out a doorway onto the terrace before you can attract too much unwanted attention.  

It’s chilly outside, lingering bits of winter clinging to the air, rushing down your throat as your giggling persists.  Thankfully, nobody else is around to see the rather ungraceful way you scramble to catch your breath.  Soon, your wheezing slows to the point that you can actually speak again.

“You’ve certainly become more amicable in the time I’ve been here, my prince.”  And despite how you try to suppress it, another snort forces its way up. “That scowl you wore when I first greeted you...I was convinced you’d dismiss me without so much as a ‘hello.’”

“I seriously considered it!  I’d been waiting there for an hour !”

“Nearly an hour.”

“Regardless,” Iida insists, “nobody would’ve questioned my decision.”

“Yet here I am, still in the employ of the royal family with my reputation intact.”  You purse your lips. “Tell me: why wasn’t I cast off at the first sign of impropriety?”

It’s said in teasing—another game of yours, meant to rile him up (or to “test his patience” if you were giving it a professional sort of description)—yet Iida seriously seems to ponder the question.  He turns away from you, peering into the darkness beyond the edge of the paved terrace.  In the direction of his gaze, the glow of orange lamplight only just illuminates the edge of the palace gates.  You know their shape well, but you can’t shake the feeling that they look like rusted wrought iron from here—not the golden masterpieces they seemed in the daytime.  You wonder how the prince sees them tonight.

“I suppose I was too curious for my own good,”  Iida says, eyes still focused on something in the distance,  “I suppose I wanted to know more about the type of person that could walk into a room of strangers and still smile the way you did.”

“It’s easy to smile when you love what you’re doing.”

Iida inhales, slow and heavy.  “I…” He peers upward, like he’ll find the end of his sentence somewhere in the stars.  When Regulus and Denebola offer no words to fill the pregnant pause, his frustrated groan does the job for him.  “I don’t enjoy many things these days.”

“And I don’t believe that.” Your response is instantaneous, and perhaps a bit frank for the situation. You continue, regardless. “When you’re studying, you may not realize it yourself, but half the time you’re grinning so wide it looks as though your cheeks might split.  When we practice languages, when we discuss politics...”

He turns to face you finally, and something soft crosses his expression.  

Familiar. Affectionate. Dangerous.

“That’s because you’re there.  Because I lo—”

You tense, your hand swinging out and clutching the arm of his jacket, pleading.  “No. We’ve been through this.”  

“We haven’t been through anything because you won’t let me—.

“Say something foolish?”  A sour, stinging taste creeps up your throat as you take a step back. You needed distance and you needed him to see it.  “That’s my job, my prince  To teach you the things that are appropriate and the things that are not.  This conversation concerns the latter.”

Iida furrows his brow, his jaw tight. “Because you’d reject me?”

You should’ve expected that this conversation would happen eventually. You can’t pretend you hadn’t noticed the way Iida stole glances at you over the edge of his book when he thought you weren’t watching. How he always scrambled to fetch your papers himself when he had a good palace-worth of servants ready to do it for him. How he found every excuse to slide his seat closer, brushing his shoulder against yours as he leaned over to point at some insignificant passage, asking questions he already knew the answers to.

The worst part was...you’d caught yourself doing those very same things.  Staring for longer than you should’ve. Enthusiastically accepting his requests to prolong lessons for “just another hour.”  

Letting yourself fall in love with him, slowly, but surely, even after you couldn’t pretend not to notice anymore—after he’d cornered you in the library red-faced and stuttering, scrambling to say those sincere words that would be the ruin of both of you.  

Of course you hadn’t given him the chance to finish his declaration.  You didn’t have it in you to turn him down, not when just seeing him, looking so noble in his royal blues, had been enough to make something buzz deep in your stomach.  And returning his affections wasn’t ever an option.  Not at all appropriate for a person in your position.  You weren’t royal nor a noble. You were just another type of hired help, even if you were afforded more luxuries than the average cook or gardener.

So you’d found some clever reason to excuse yourself, frantically gushing about needing to organize manuscripts or keep a promise to teach some orphan how to read.  You couldn’t even remember the lie you’d used—only Iida’s reluctant, tight-lipped smile when he realized that you were, in fact, lying.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.”  You finally say.  It isn’t a lie this time. Not really.  You were leaving, and you weren’t about to admit that it’d been your choice to refuse the king’s and queen’s offer for a longer term of employment.  Things were already so....delicate with Tenya.

“You don’t have to.”

“Just like you don’t have to become the king?”  It comes out harsher than you mean it to, hissed through gritted teeth.  Iida winces as though he’s been struck. “Nobody has to do anything in this world.  But we both have our obligations regardless, be they pleasant or not.  And I—” the shudder in your voice is as unpleasant as it is unintentional, “Tenya, don’t make me start fantasizing about things that just aren’t possible.  I’m not strong enough for that.”

Iida breathes.  In, then out. Heavy, but even, watching you the whole time.  When he speaks, the words are soft. “That’s the first time you’ve said it.”

You scoff.  “I’m smart, but I’m no saint.  Even I have my limits.”

“No.” He says, his eyes lifting to meet yours. “It’s the first time you’ve used my name.”

The air suddenly feels like ice.  Not so cool anymore—more cold incarnate, jagged tendrils working their way around your lungs and squeezing.  They freeze you from the inside out, all the while draining you of whatever oxygen your measly throat seems fit to collect.

“I beg you to forgive me, my prince.”  You’re formal about it, your back straight, your expression incredibly blank. You’re acting as you should be—as you should’ve been this whole time.

“Stop that.”

“It’s late and the hour has made me forget myself.” Tuning him out, you take a step back towards the doors, back towards the safety of the crowded hall.

“Please —"

“I think it best that I retire for the night. My ship departs early in the morning and I should be rested if I’m going to catch it.”  You swallow hard. “Goodnight, my prince.”

Goodbye would be better, you realize once the words leave your mouth. It wasn’t like you were going to see him again after tonight; you owed it to him to give at least use the proper “farewell.”  But truthfully, you don’t trust yourself enough to say anything else—not when your eyes burn the way they do.  

A tearful goodbye: this was just the thing you’d wanted to avoid.  Because in that moment, when the only thing keeping your eyes dry is sheer force of will, you make the mistake of imagining, for just a moment, what it might be like to stay.  It wouldn’t be right or responsible, but really, would that be such a bad thing?  Truthfully, you’d done a terrible job as a tutor; you’d taught the prince, yes, but you’d also committed the cardinal sin of your trade and become too attached.  You’d already acted the part of friend and confidant. What was the harm in making one more mistake?

Rather than dwelling on it for any longer, you turn away.  You can hear Iida say your name once, frantic.

And you rush towards the door.  

The footfalls behind you don’t register in your mind until it’s too late.  His fingers feel incredibly hot as they curl around your wrist, pulling you back and keeping you from taking the final few steps inside.

“Don’t leave like this.  Not while you’re forcing this....this professional facade to try and push me away.  I know you too well for that.” Hearing your own words—having them scooped up and hurled back at you like a well-timed arrow, makes your heart ache.  Still, you say nothing. You know better than to do that. So Iida continues.  

“Love me, love me not—it doesn’t matter anymore.  You’ve made your choice and I’ll respect it. But let’s not say goodbye on bad terms.  Speak with me just a little longer. Teach me something new.”

And just like that, you feel your expression melt.  Surely it couldn’t do any harm?  

Although you know that’s far from the truth, you twist to face him.  “I would, but I’m afraid I wasn’t lying when I said I’d taught you everything I know.”

When he realizes that you aren’t denying his request outright, Iida’s eyes widen.  He’d expected you to argue. “There has to be something. Astronomy? History?” His voice fades as he wonders aloud, thinking—always thinking.  You’re about to tell him to give up; the two of you can speak without a need for lessons, but then something excited sparkles in his eyes.

“Dance?  How do they dance where you’re from?”  Slowly, delicately, Iida releases his hold on you.  But he doesn’t pull back. His fingers unfold, flattening as he pushes the flat of his hand against yours.  The action itself is a question: is it like we dance here?  With quick steps and pressed palms?

“It’s different from your way.  Same principle, different posture.”  You thread your fingers into the spaces between his.  The gesture is academic—impersonal and meant purely for demonstration purposes.  “And there’s not such a rigid rhythm to it. Less stepping, more gliding.”

Iida smiles softly.  “Yes, I think I must’ve seen this in a book once.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, what with the extraordinary amount of time you spend reading.”

“Tease me all you’d like, but in this case, it helps,” he walks backward, dragging you with him towards an empty area of the terrace, “although I’ll admit, I’m a bit unsure about this next part.  So please, tell me if I’m making a fool of myself.”

“It’s simple.  I’m sure you’ll manage well enough.”  You extend your free hand out towards him. Iida doesn’t take it though.  His jaw tenses, just for a moment, then he’s shaking his head.

“They weren’t hand-in-hand.  It was different...I’m sure of that much.”

You sigh, giving his hand a squeeze.  “You’re overthinking things.”

“No, I’m right.  I know I am.”

The rest happens as... as a smear of motion, carried by the swell of music whooshing through the open doors.  You think you see it, though—the way Iida’s hand edges in, trembling, but pushing forward even so. It dips down below your wrist, then below your elbow, never halting in it's smooth, creeping motion forward.  Not until his touch is grazing across your side, feather-light, but very much there. It doesn't sink in at first—how close he is—until you feel the warmth as his fingers press into your back, dragging bits of your tunic along as they do.  You're not sure you've ever felt so feeble as you do in the instant you realize the prince’s palm is curled around what feels to be the entirety of your waist.

“I believe it was something like this,”  Iida says. The tug on your waist is gentle, but the prince’s hold over you is such but you have no choice but to stagger forward.  By the time you start wondering if this hasn’t been one big mistake, the distance between the pair of you is practically nonexistent.

All of it is entirely academic, though.  Without a doubt, it was academic.

“This is...one way of dancing, yes.”  You stutter through your breathlessness.  “Although now I’m curious to know what sort of book you were reading.”

“An old one” is all Iida offers before he begins to sway.  You fumble to find a spot for your free hand, finally setting it along the slope of his shoulders.  He’s taller than you remember—his shoulders broader.  How was that possible? How could a person you see nearly every day suddenly seem so much more... dashing?

“You’re doing well, but you still have to count, my prince.  Follow the music.”  In an effort to distract yourself from your own thoughts, you throw yourself back into your teaching.  “One, two, three, and.  One, two, three, and.”

You drag Iida along for a while, counting out loud, showing him the rhythm to follow.  Soon, he’s steady enough to lead without your instruction.  The moment he takes over, the cobblestones seen to transform a dancefloor of their own.  The endless sky becomes a ballroom, with a chandelier of stars and a tapestry of moonlight glistening over your swirling bodies.  It’s easy to forget yourself—to get lost in the fairy-tale quality of it—while you’re there, grinning and dancing with the prince.  You don’t ponder the past, the present, the future. You don’t debate the principles governing ethics or art or architecture.

The two of you just dance.

But as all things must, the song eventually ends.  The rising line of the wood flutes dies away and the steady vibration of the drums gets lost in the nothingness of night.  You and Iida stare at each other for a while neither quite sure the proper way to proceed.  You’re the first to speak.

“I believe it’s time to say goodbye.”  You’re sure to emphasize the point by pulling your hand away from the prince’s shoulder, returning it to your side.  

Iida’s grip tenses for a fraction of a second, like he’s only just remembered his hand clutching your waist.  Nevertheless, he removes it without argument.  You can’t help but notice the way cold rushes at you in the absence of his touch.  “I believe you’re right.”  

“Well then,” you smile despite the wave of nausea threatening to topple you right there and then, “thank you for a wonderful year, Prince Iida.  Goodbye.” You step away from him, but you’re distinctly aware of the fact that your hands are still joined. The prince hasn’t completely released his hold over you yet.

You’re about to repeat your farewell—a reminder—but then Iida bows his head low.  You don’t have a moment to question his intentions before he’s dragging your hand up, pressing his lips to your knuckles.  The act itself catches you off-guard. The way he lingers makes your face heat up.  You can only pray the color doesn’t carry to your fingers.

Without rising completely, Iida peers up at you, not smiling, but also not looking as upset as you’d expected him to.

“Goodnight.”

It isn’t the same, solemn “goodbye” you’d granted him, but by that point, you’re too exasperated to question much.  It wouldn’t be until early the next morning that you’d understand the meaning behind it.  

You’re stepping out onto the docks when you find the ring tucked into the pocket of your belt.  It’s silver with a single clear, blue stone propped into an intricate setting.  You’re not positive how long it’s been there, but you can certainly guess.  The gemstone alone must be priceless—expensive and much more extravagant than you ever would’ve dared to accept from anyone.  Then again, you suppose the gifter had known that—had understood that the implications behind the present would be extremely obvious.  Rings like this weren’t given as a parting gift.

As it turns out Prince Tenya was far more capable than even you’d given him credit for.  He no longer needed you—that much was clear as day.  But if his gift was any indication, he certainly wanted you.

And, much to your absolute horror, you wanted him too.  Even now.

You look to the ship— your ship—docked only a few dozen meters ahead. Its captain ushers you forward with the back of his hand, barking out some harsh words you don’t quite catch.  You glance back over your shoulder and the glint of white porcelain masks still hanging from the lampposts commands your attention. Tales of burly sailors, daring and intelligent, quick and resourceful fill your mind and...and you realize that you never did hear the end of that story.  You brush off the thought before it can make you overly-sentimental.  It’s all so difficult, though, because just beyond the lamps is the street you’ve just come from, and even further up, atop a hill you know very well, you can see a golden gate.  It’s just barely visible through the line of oaks surrounding it: the trees are tall and proud and standing adamantly upright, just like a prince you know.  Like the hill, you know him very well.

For what feels like the first time in your life, an irreconcilable sort of indecision throbs deep in your chest.  Not that there’s much a choice to make.  

Right?  

DOMENICO DI GIOVANNI ( CODY CHRISTIAN ) is a 17 year old JUNIOR student at Broadripple Academy. HE is originally from LOS ANGELES but moved to Broadripple A YEAR ago. HE is DRIVEN and RESOURCEFUL but can also be ENVIOUS and DECEITFUL.

BASICS

Name: Domenico Di Giovanni

Age: 17

Grade: Junior

House: Malleray

Cabin Room: 2, Junior Cabin

How long have they been at Broadripple: a bit more than a year

Where are they from originally: Los Angeles

Extra curricular: Soccer Team Captain, Swim Team member, Buddy Program

CHARACTER AESTHETICS

Untucked shirts and loose ties, worn sneakers, board shorts and athletic shirts, hair that are ‘fashionably’ messy, a fake rolex, sunglasses to hide bloodshot eyes, sundown on the ocean, an eagle as a coat of arm, a whisper in your ears, an old camera, handwriting that looks a lot more like hieroglyphs than actual English, the sweet exhaustion after intense training, an adrenaline rush, the roar of a Ducati, the tension of sneaking out at night, a golden cross necklace, a swiss-army knife as a keychain, a bonfire on the beach, a room that looks like a tornado has just been there, a tangle of athletic medals, a stack of movie posters, a zippo lighter because, come on everyone knows they are cool.

TRAITS

Positive Personality Traits: ambitious, driven, resourceful, playful, friendly, brave, loyal to his friends, passionate, open minded,

Neutral Personality Traits: competitive, nostalgic, emotional, stubborn, guarded, prideful, materialistic

Negative Personality Traits: envious, jealous, deceitful, selfish, vulnerable to peer pressure, reckless, boastful

FACTS

Domenico is the firstborn scion of an impoverished Italo-american family, he actually has some noble blood in his veins and is proud of his ancestry. His family migrated to the states after WW2 and had actually enjoyed a luxurious existence for a few generations, when Nico himself was a little kid they still had money, but a string of misfortune and bad business deals had left them with little

His parents are obsessed with the idea of social status and have drilled its importance into him, to the point that Domenico dedicates his life in its pursuit. No matter the cost, personal or otherwise.

Failure is not an option.

He grew up with the expectation of royalty and the wealth of a lower middle class kid

He has always lived on the periphery of wealth though, frequently doing odd jobs from rich family friends and looking for afar at the glamorous life of movie stars and socialites in his native Los Angeles. Craving for the ability to join him himself. Unable to see that hanging around with the friends he actually had made him way happier. In fact he has a lot of fond memories of the time spent back home, but pretends to himself that he had moved on and doesn’t care anymore.

He had pushed himself hard during high school to get an athletic scholarship and finally earned his ticket to Broadripple. The young man is legacy, but his family could definitely no longer afford to send him there.

While Domenico is extremely loyal to his friends, he has a very ‘the end justifies the means’ mentality, he plays dirty when he believes that his strength alone is not enough to ‘win’ and lies to get what he wants or just to make himself look more ‘important’ in the eyes of others.

He loves the spotlight and does what he can to get noticed. After his first year at Broadripple he had started to take up more responsibility at the school, mostly to increase his own standing

He is always on the lookout for college recruiters and will definitely use whatever trick he can in the books to up his chances of being selected

He constantly puts up a show of confidence.

He is passionate, he falls in love very quickly, but he is also pretty jealous and his pride tends to get in the way of things

He craves for true companionship, but so far he had been too blinded by his desire to ‘climb’ up.

Truth is, the pressure of his lifestyle is starting to get to him, but Nico is pretty good at lying to himself and is pretending that ‘everything is fine’ even as he keeps daydreaming about just dropping everything and go follow his passions

HEADCANONS

He has two younger siblings, Alessandra, a spirited 11 years old, that is very much loved by her big brother and Gabriele, who is only eight years old. Despite considering the latter annoying, he actually misses both of them. He dreads when his little sis will start dating

He is a huge horror movie buff and dreams to direct one eventually, but of course, his life has a more ‘serious’ path ahead so…

He loves the ocean and is very nostalgic about his home in California. 

He is a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but he tries to stay focused

He actually enjoys playing sports and if he wasn’t as focused on his endgame he would much likely derive much more pleasure from them

He had sneaked out at the pool during the night for a swim more than once

He is pretty handy, had done a lot of odd jobs in his life and knows among other things how to pick a lock.

He is very boastful and is prone to hugely exaggerate his skills and wealth.

His best subject is history, math is meh… 

He worships his Ducati and constantly tinkers with it, the motorbike is a birthday present from a family friend that greatly helped Nico while he was in LA. The two had spent the year before Nico went to Broadripple fixing it and it has an huge sentimental value to him. Nico doesn’t drive after drinking mostly out of fear of ruining it (rather than himself) in case of an accident. He had brought it straight from California driving halfway through the states and he would do it again

He has a family signet ring, but pretty much never wears it in public

He own a lot of expensive looking stuff that are actually knock off 

He wears his shirts religiously ‘half-tucked’

He enjoys playing board games (but deem them too nerdy) and is a very competitive player

He is proud of his legacy status

He isn’t proud of being a scholarship student and keeps that detail for himself

He deals MJ among the students to boost his income, but himself he doesn’t smoke frequently

Domenico is fully bilingual English\Italian and he swears (and thinks) in his family native language despite never having been in Italy himself

He has a small youtube channel where he comments the Italian soccer championship and other soccer trivia, he is not however a regular poster of content and keeps it mostly as an hobby (and an extra space to advertise himself to potential recruiters)

He isn’t bad in the kitchen and can make a few Italian dishes

Espresso for life (and made in the ‘right way’) the rest isn’t real coffee.

Sport = religion. To skip training is sin.

He jogs very early every morning

A previous roommate of his has left the school last year, Nico kinda believe that he had scared him off

He loves the Rolling Stones (coincidentally his dad is more of a Beatles type) 

He dreams about taking a sabbatical and making a road trip after graduation

Has ran from home a couple of times as a kid.

While he keeps it very well buried, Domenico has a bit of a playful, goofy side that emerges when he feels like he is free to be himself

He is also a bit of a prankster

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE RETREAT

What do they think about The Retreat?

“This is supposed to be an exclusive and expensive academy right?” Turns to check if no one else is listening and then lowers his voice. “On the other side… thanks God right? At least they haven’t sent us back home…” 

Domenico doesn’t care about the retreat per-se, but he is worried that all the strange events might tarnish the school reputation, putting his own college future in jeopardy, or worse, ending up shutting down the Academy as he doesn’t exactly have many alternatives. He does miss a bit of privacy though and the lack of wi-fi frustrates him. While outwardly he pretends that he cares about the lack of amenities, it’s more of a show.

Do they have any previous experience with camping or other outdoors?

“Of course I do.”

Domenico is outdoorsy, but has never gone camping in his life, plus he is accustomed to a much warmer climate than Massachusetts and while he does his best to soldier through it, the experience definitely sucks. While he has no idea about how to build a tent or anything on the like at least he knows how to light a fire and can make a decent grilled meat if the need arises. 

What does their cabin bunk look like? How will they decorate their space?

“It’s not my room and let’s leave it at that.”

Domenico’s dorm room was adorned with movie posters (mostly horror B-movies), some of them hiding pictures underneath that a catholic school might not exactly approve (but that strike the fancy of a seventeen years old boy), piled up trophies, a small basketball hoop, random sport gear and clothes scattered here and there. He couldn’t bring much to his bunk and had packed most of his things in cardboard boxes to pick up for later. He keeps a picture of his siblings cheering at his birthday before he left for Broadripple and one with his former high-school team celebrating after a match.

Do they believe in the supernatural? To what degree?

“Nah... That’s all crap. It makes for a good movie though.”

Nico is fascinated by the supernatural, but he is not a believer, they are cool stories though and he likes the dash of adrenaline of a well told tale of horror. Besides, Broadripple might be a good subject for a movie right? In theory Domenico is Catholic and was kinda of observant as a kid, by now though, religion isn’t in his mind.

Are they easily spooked?

“Nop. Ehi what is that noise?”

Domenico likes to think of himself as brave and tends to worry about more mundane problems rather than supernatural or existential one. That said, sometimes the aerie atmosphere of the Academy actually gets to him and strikes the darkest corners of his imagination. Showing fear though, is embarrassing and Domenico keeps the feeling for himself, doing his best to crack a joke or put up a mask of courage.

AND FINALLY, 

A very dumb but (hopefully) fun quiz made by your admins, please share what result you got

you're the real danger

everyone talks about what they hear and see out in the woods but what about what's in the room with them? if everyone already thinks they're hearing things, it wouldn't be that hard to cover everything up

I must admit that I cheated a bit to get there, but Nico would definitely have done that himself, so I’m not ashamed to admit it. Besides, it’s kinda fitting of him :p

Survey #378

“come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be”

Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. How long will you try out something you don’t enjoy before giving up on it? It really depends, but in most cases, admittedly very quickly. What’s something you recently realized or discovered about yourself? *shrug* What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? Not in a good way really, but it was certainly interesting to learn I have such severe sleep apnea. Like, I was certain I didn't. The most depressing would be uhhhh... I guess Jason's mother's death, but I don't know how "recent" you'd consider that by now. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It depends. Some beliefs I absolutely would not tolerate (like anti-LGBT), others I would just agree to disagree with. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to get better at controlling my mouth when I'm extremely upset. Do you use a photo editor? I use Lightroom and Photoshop for photography. Is your dad overweight? No, I think he's actually underweight. Ever been honked at? Yes. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Easton, I think? An old middle school friend had him. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yes, but they never work for me. How did your parents pick your name? I dunno. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Man, I get chills easily with music. David Draiman from Disturbed, his cover of "Sound of Silence" is BREATHTAKING. That's number one. There are many others, they're just not coming to me at the moment. Do you have a drone? No. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. I got some crazy hot sauce. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. How long did your shortest relationship last? Like a day lmao. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A POOL!!!! I've talked before about how I want one so, SO very badly to exercise my legs without having to worry about sweat, and I can take a break the very moment I need to. Do you own a Snuggie? Yeah, somewhere. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? Yeah, quite a few on YouTube, but my favorite in Jonathan Young. He is SO damn talented. Who is your favorite video game character? Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? Mostly of my pets lmao. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? No. I know I'd never stick to it. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? The latter. Meerkat Manor comes to mind with that, and everyone knows how much I adore that show. There was also one about rhesus macaques I fell in love with. Basically, I love animal docs, haha. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? Probably eating something. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? Yyyyep. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) Man, a lot of things. Photograph meerkats is a biggie. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? If I could actually handle the heat and was in good shape to traverse the outdoors, I think I'd be a great wildlife biologist. Even more though, if I could beat my social anxiety, I would ADORE being an animal educator with kids. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? Saying it's their "responsibility" sounds unfair and puts a lot of weight on their shoulders, but I do feel they should by their own volition and kindness use their position for good, such as through monetary assistance and other things. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? Yep. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? A habit, yes. Looking back it was stupid as shit. What would you call your body type? Ew. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Considering I spend them with my sister's bigoted, homophobic, and racist in-laws, not especially. I always feel very uncomfortable and disliked among everyone for being the "black sheep" among 'em. Is your vision good? God no. Even with my glasses, it's very poor. I need a new prescription badly. Do both of your parents have jobs? Mom has something of the sort, like she cleans a local church for a small pay, but it's not really a "job." She's still recovering from cancer, getting her strength back up and such before she can handle a consistent job. Dad's had a job for as long as I've lived. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? How heteronormative. But whatever. It's so fucking cheesy, but singing a cute song to me while slowdancing sounds so super adorable to me. What food are you craving right now? I am craving something sweet like you wouldn't believe. It's annoying. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes, but most are very negligible. I just scar extremely easily. Last person you saw other than your family? My primary doctor. Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? The The Lion King remake. Who was the last person you played a video game with? Ummm I think Girt. Last game you played at an arcade? Zero clue. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? I THINK I particularly liked "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider?" None stand out strongly, though. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don’t have a favorite cousin. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I think with a friend to prevent loneliness, but at the very same time, I see a great beauty in traveling on your own. Just taking new things in, seeing so many different cultures, beautiful scenery... I feel it'd be a great chance for exploration of insight. Remind yourself how small you are, that there's a much, much bigger picture than your own problems, that people are so unique but hopefully share common morals... I see a lot of poetry in it. Do you like the smell of coffee? It's one of my favorite smells. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I can't possibly pick. I watch literally hundreds on deviantART, and many of them absolutely blow my mind. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? My lack of a career. Outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus? Well, online ones for writing. When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I envy her confidence, like gotdamn girl. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Are you on a laptop or desktop? A laptop. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Domino's or Little Caesar's. What was the name of the last dog you pet? We've been calling the dog we're holding right now Zoe. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Yes. Have you ever seen the White House? I don't think so, but it's possible I have when we've driven up to New York, but from a distance. How about Niagara Falls? No. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? I just like regular iceberg lettuce with some bacon bits and ranch. Man, that sounds good right about now. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah, Metallica and Marilyn Manson. Do you think it’d be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No. I couldn't rock the mummy look even if I tried, haha. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? Not really, no. Can you read music? I used to be able to. Do you work the night shift? I don’t have a job, but if I did, I absolutely do not want to work the night shift anywhere. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yes. Is your mother diabetic? Are you? She is, but I'm not. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? It'd be cool, sure. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who did you last kiss? My cat. Why did you last lie? I don't recall. Probably to just avoid confrontation with Mom. What do you put on your hamburgers? Cheese, ketchup, and mustard, generally. Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? No. What’s at the center of your dining table? Honestly, we sit in there so rarely that I don't even know. I think we might have nothing, actually. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you like being outside? If it's cool, yes. What’s your favourite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Or honey mustard. Who sang/played the last song you listened to? Chris Motionless is the singer of Motionless In White. I don't know if that's his real last name, though. Do you like yoga? I used to. Now all the bending and shit would make me dizzy as hell with my "how are you still alive" level of low blood pressure. Do you always carry breath mints? No, but I do carry Tictacs with me, but they're for my dry mouth. It forces you to salivate, so it helps. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I don't really know. I honestly don't even know how it looks inside. Thinking about it, I'd probably be more scared than anything, waiting for a bomb to drop or some shit lmao. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? OH MY GOD I LOVED those!!! I definitely did! Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No, I've never been the type to do that. If I'm SERIOUSLY getting mad, all I do is tighten my grip. Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yes. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? I believe so. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? My answer is Warcraft, but only because the fucking orcs' voices were so baritone that I couldn't understand them almost ever lmaooo. Like I had a mild idea of what was going on because of the game, but still. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? The intro, or the conclusion. Both are difficult to me. Like I want to compose a gripping beginning as well as an end that doesn't just repeat everything I've already said and ends on a strong note. Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don't like fried chicken. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? I mean, I guess? Like I'd seen kisses enough to know how to give someone a peck. It just came naturally. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? Not just for the toy, but it's the main thing I wanted, sure. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Seeing my mom cry absolutely destroys me. I don't want her to hurt EVER. Especially if it's seriously unfair bullshit that has her upset, I also get very angry (not at her, of course) and protective. I've seen Dad tear up once, back when he was telling us about his mother's funeral, and I felt immense surprise more than anything. He does NOT cry. How do you feel about animal testing? It's fucking disgusting and barbaric. Find a different goddamn way. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? If I'm having vanilla, I'll usually add chocolate syrup. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I'm forever gonna get a kick out of this one that just said "omw," haha.