My state is giving us money to take a class and bro…when I tell you it’s an obscene amount of work ☠️☠️☠️ on top of a full time job. Alright.

Copied this from @brendaonao3

name: Brenn

pronouns: she/they

where do you call home? upstairs in my office/craft room/cat play room

favorite animal: Horses. Never grew out of the horse girl phase.

cereal of choice: I don't eat much cereal. But I like Fruit Loops and Cap'n Crunch cause they still taste good without milk

are you a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner? a mix of all the above. And sometimes I need a step by step manual

first pet: My parents always had dogs. Even if dad said his dog was a working dog. (he wasn't)

favorite scent: Oklahoma grasslands. Sage and hot dirt and grasses, that's part of my soul.

do you believe in astrology? Only when I need to yell about something and say Mercury/the moon/whatever is fucking retrograde again.

how many playlists do you have on spotify/apple music? Only a couple. Have been contemplating some mood themes though.

sharpies or highlighters? Neither. I prefer ink pens

song that makes you cry? Who saved Who, by Wade Hayes

song that makes you happy? NDN Kars, remix by Halluci Nation

and finally, do you write/draw/create? I crochet and knit, I took a few drawing classes but I'm out of practice. I call myself a writer. Some people agree.

No taggings, unless you think this is fun

some off the bat study tips I use

Been “not in the mood” for a good couple of weeks now. Here are some study tips I use, in the hopes that I’ll somehow kickstart my own system. 

1) Keep a whiteboard above your workspace. Often as a student you’re working on multiple things at once- there’s nothing worse than trying to get one task done when there’s another lingering in the back of your mind. Having a whiteboard means I can just look up, scrawl the task down on the board so it’s out in the world. The act of doing so means you can push it out of your mind now it’s truly Out There, and can resume the (probably equally important) task at hand. 

2) As a college/ uni student, ruthlessly prioritise your time. you know whether that crusty 9 am is worth the commute. As a city commuter student, my Wednesday morning lecture is the only class I have all day, and the recording is posted online: hardly worth the two hour commute. I use the time I’d have spent standing in rush hour, sitting in class and then heading back to the station to get a head start on my reading, go to the gym, walk my dog and watch it back in the evening at my own pace. 

3) That being said, don’t skip for the sake of skipping. Be mindful what you skip, and when you skip- it’s a useful, albeit limited, tool very easily misused. I rely on my economic history seminar to understand what the fuck is going on in the assigned readings. It isn’t pre- recorded and it takes my prof eeeeons to upload the powerpoint online: so you can bet I am there, without fail, every week, even though it often kills me to leave my warm house and get on that train. 

4) Change up your environment. Study with your boyfriend in your favourite coffee shop. Study curled up in your living room with the telly on. Study in the pub with a pint on a quiet weekday. Study on the train. Do away with the idea that you’ve got to be sitting at your desk, facing your wall, in your bedroom for the material to sink in. There is so much joy in casual academia. Make space for it without letting it consume you. 

5) Try and immerse yourself in your subject. Enjoy the content you are reading. Treat your work, where you can, as more than something to check off a list. This one is particularly for those in tertiary education: let yourself fall in love with your specialist subject. 

6) Read, and watch, around your subject. As I stressed with 4, you are paying for the privilege of immersion. 

7) Exercise regularly, particularly during stressful academic periods. If you’re anything like me, sometimes this can be your only true escape from studying. Allow yourself an active hour, “switch off” your brain and get sweaty. 

8) Find your “thing”. By “thing”, I mean the method of working that pains you the least, and allows you to engage with the material the most. For me, it’s watching content- I’m a visual and auditory learner, so the act of transcribing from videos and documentaries allows me to engage with the material sufficiently and easily without becoming overwhelmed. For instance, I’m currently preparing a short presentation on the Mughal Empire: my first point of call alongside the recommended readings was the corresponding Crash Course video. If you’re anything like me, Crash Course is most certainly your friend. 

9) Plan small. Don’t write out great swathes of work to muddle through in a day. Set yourself a few core tasks at the beginning of the day, and when these are done, set yourself some more. Working like this means you don’t become lost in huge, epic- style lists and are probably more productive. 

10) Organise your space. Nothing is more shit than sitting in a badly lit room, cramped amongst piles of paper and unsure where to start. We’re funny things- we respond intrinsically to our environments. So do yourself a favour, and take a good ten or twenty minutes to “set up”. Clean your space, put your things in your binder or organise your files on your desktop, plan your session in your diary and make yourself a cup of something before you begin. 

11) Let your phone die, or turn it off. You can have the restraint of a living saint, and still allow yourself that two minutes/ four hours scrolling. The best thing you can do is eliminate the distraction completely. 

I desperately need to take my own advice :))))

621

Do you think you're smarter than the average person? If so, why? I mean, getting into the country’s top university is definitely a self-esteem booster most days, but I don’t like to feel too confident or proud or complacent about it. Once I was able to settle in UP I realized just how little I knew about a lot of things and how much I still have to learn. I do love reading articles and enjoy picking up all kinds of trivia, so I guess in that aspect I do think I know a little more than others. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Source and media credibility. That’s what my thesis will mostly be about. What was the last thing to upset you? Nothing much has changed in the last couple of days – I’m still worried sick about my thesis and how its fate, which completely lies in my professor’s hands, will turn out. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? We went to my tita’s house in Kapitolyo in Pasig to celebrate Christmas. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? No, not my left wrist. I always have a hairtie on my right, though.

What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself? I don’t know how to make any of my favorite dishes...or any dish at that. Shame on you, self. What is the latest you've stayed up for? Why? There’ve been a couple of times I stayed up all night and only slept by 10 AM the next morning. There was no reason, I just felt like having an all-nighter. At one point it was the cool thing to do as a teenager so I kinda did it for that too lmao. What gives you immense pleasure? When people doing shitty stuff immediately get their asses handed to them. Case in point, my uncle getting sent to jail last Christmas Day for drunk driving. What forces you out of your comfort zone? Socializing with my girlfriend’s family. I love them and would do anything for them, but as a naturally insecure and shy person in an already not-so-traditional relationship, I always feel like I’m not doing a good enough job in bonding with them.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Wedge heels. Has anyone ever said that you're delusional? If so, what for? No. I’d be pretty hurt if someone used that on me; I’ve never found that word to be pleasant. Will you go outside today? Nope. I’ll be staying home as I deserve to be doing during the holidays. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? When I’m in better dispositions, yes. Right now I’m a little down in the dumps so I’m kind of not looking out for myself simply because I feel like I don’t deserve that. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? That one doesn’t have to be blood to be family. What is something you lie to yourself about? I can think of one thing, but it’s going to make me horribly distraught that I don’t want to bring that on here, which is supposed to be my safe space. What has been the best job you've ever had? Haven’t had a legit job yet but I want to cite my PR internship because that experience was just so so fun. What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? Probably Thanksgiving? Y’all sound like you have a goddamn FEAST and that makes me a lil jealous haha. Which nation's culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Korean, Mexican, and Indian. What is something you judge about other people? Their political opinions. What is something you do not want to discuss about? Like, in general? Well one topic I can think of is comm theory lol. As a comm student, that bit about my field has always bored me. I always zone out when my group of friends start diving into it, cos it’s never interested me. Do you always follow the rules to a T? Why? Yes. I cringe at the idea of breaking the rules and the consequences that may follow if I get caught. My org will sometimes hold meetings in rooms that we never officially requested to book and it drives. me. insaaaaaneeeeee. Do you consider yourself to be an artisan? No. Do you enjoy solving problems? If I know I’ll be able to solve them then yes. Otherwise, I could get a little intimidated. Are you more books smart, street smart or random trivia smart? Books and trivia. I’m afraid I’m not street smart at all loooooool. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Visual, for the most part. I like reading stuff and memorizing them; I’m terrible and mostly insecure at hands-on stuff, and am a horrible listener haha. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? Ambivert. I can be a social person whenever the need be but my tank also empties out and so I’d need some alone time to recover right after. Are you socially anxious or awkward? I can be both, especially towards situations that are unfamiliar. Are you more detail oriented or mostly see the big picture? I like seeing the details. Would you ever take part in a TV quiz show? If so, which one? If not, why? Sure. Jeopardy would be cool. I got into it about a month ago and now I can’t stop playing along with the contestants in trying to get the answers right hahaha. What do you consider to be childish? Twitter, for the fucking most part. If you hate childish arguments then best not to join the website as it teems with toxicity embarrassingly often.

Survey #197

“she wraps those hands around that pole, she licks those lips and off we go, she takes it off nice and slow ‘cuz that’s porn star dancin’.”

Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? I have a ring on my left thumb. What is the latest you’ve stayed up for? Why? Oh idk, if you mean staying up waiting for something in particular and not just staying up all night for the hell of it. I think WoW's Warlords of Draenor expansion launch was the latest; it was sometime at night, between midnight and 3 A.M., and. Between me, Jason, Amanda, and Jacob, I by far stayed up the latest and pretty much died that day asleep. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Rompers are just a no for me. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't really do that anymore. If I know the truth deep down, lying would do me no good. Do you enjoy solving problems? NO. All problems do is stress me out. Are you more books smart, street smart, or random trivia smart? Oh, totally trivia. GMM taught me the most pointless shit. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic. Would you ever take part in a TV quiz show? If so, which one? If not, why? No; I don't want my ugly ass on TV, the stress would murder me, plus I'd be really nervous and awkward. Does it take a lot for you to cry, or does it happen easily? It is VERY easy to make me cry. Do you have two of the same pair of pants? I believe I do. Who gives the best advice? Sara. She neeeeeds to do something in the psychological field. Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? Old ones. I pretty much never take any now because 1.) I hate my face and 2.) what friends? What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Truly and entirely letting Jason go. Who do you usually see in your dreams? Sara, my parents, sisters, and my theory is the lingering effects of PTSD keep Jason as a pretty regular fixture. HA HA OH YEAH MARK IS ALSO IN THEM SOMETIMES. Generally though, I don't remember my dreams. When was the last time you cleaned out a bathtub? Literally never. Never been a chore. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Not really infected, I think. That cyst was, but that's not really an "injury." Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? If so, did they eventually imitate what you said? I'm sure I have with legit babies, but even then, I would try avoiding it. Now, I'm super careful around any aged child, and no. Do you have any friends that you almost always joke around with? Alex and Chelsea. Serious moments are almost non-existent, especially with Alex. Have you learned any new words today? No. If your hair never got greasy again, would you still wash it? Well yeah, it would still get dirty. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a young teen... Talk about your first love. I think everyone in my online circle knows the story. High school sweethearts, strong and steady relationship that pretty much everyone thought was permanent, but ended very abruptly. Know now that it's for the better it ended; who the hell knows, maybe I'd still be an extremely depressed and hopeless mess. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? "The Two Trees" and "Dante's Prayer," both by Loreena McKennitt, are unreal. "Obstacles" by Syd Matters? Goosebumps every single time. Okay really I could go on forever. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? I get the most satisfaction out of skin care. Are you affectionate? With s/os. I'm a hugger if I know you well enough. Who do you look up to? Mark, Steve Irwin, I look up to some parts of Otep Shamaya despite her mostly being a bitch, Sara, and there's so many more, but I'm blanking atm. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)? Usually a mechanical and colored pencils. Do you dance? What style of dance? Not anymore. Favorite old film? A lot. But probably Johnny Got His Gun. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion? Snowy. Do you have a lucky number? No. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? No. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion? People coming together for good, despite any differences or grudges. What instrumental sound is your favorite? Violin, electric guitar, or piano. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? Ohhhh idk. "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing" is high on the list, thanks Sara. Favorite shoe you own? Some converse with a skull design. Do you know any German words? Yeah, but I've forgotten quite a lot. Four semesters of German have definitely faded a bit. Do you have a passport? No. Do you say any words that are pretty specific to your area? Well, "y'all' for one. There's definitely sayings, though I'm not gonna sit here trying to remember 'em considering I don't use much, if any. Do you know anyone who everyone thinks is gay, but is not out? No. Vegetables: better raw or cooked? Are there any raw veggies I like??? Have you ever smoked? No. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have a significantly negative opinion of you if h e i g h t fucking matters to you. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? All I know off the top of my head is I think "On Wednesdays, we wear pink" or something like that. Do you live in the state you were born in? Yeah. Do your parents smoke? Dad does. Do you know anyone who has a ton of real fur clothes? No; at least I fucking hope not. If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert? In the hypothetical case of it being free, sure thing. I wouldn't actually go out of my way buying tickets. Have you ever worn a pair of leather (fake or real) pants? No. If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? She wouldn't ask that anytime soon. I'd only be comfortable being engaged if we were settled somewhere and the relationship was in a perfectly healthy place. When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you think it looked like? I don't remember. What about the tooth fairy? I think I imagined something like Tinker Bell? Do you/did you have a religion class in school? No. If your best friend got cancer, would you shave your head with them? If she was truly self-conscious of it, I probably would. Name someone you know who is Buddhist. No one, I think. Does your mom wear makeup? Very little for only special occasions. Do you kiss your boyfriends/girlfriends in front of your parents? Yes. Have you ever spent Christmas alone? No, thank Christ. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? Not all day or anything. Does your favorite uncle have any children? I only know one of my uncles well enough to have a confident opinion on him, but anyway, yes. Has anyone ever kissed you when you were so not expecting it? Possibly? Was it a good surprise kiss? Or bad? See above; I'm not sure if I was ever totally taken by surprise. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Man, I used to know this shit 100%, but I only know now Ozzy himself. Do you still have any Pokemon cards? I don't believe so. What would you do if your favorite artist came to town but your parents wouldn’t let you go? i'm???????? about to be 23????????? Do you know anyone who refuses to swear? Probably. Not anybody I know well. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Yes. Have you ever heard your grandparents swear? My grandma, yeah. But she does so seldom. What do you see when you turn your head to the right? My closet. The creepiest, most disgusting insect in the world is: Hissing cockroaches omfg no. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? No. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden is the answer to everything. What will you dress up as for Halloween? Idk, but I reeeaaally wanna do something this year. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Do you ever make your own surveys? Not exactly; I only combine them and usually delete the "no shit," boring, overused, or incredibly specific questions, like, "does the # 79 mean anything to you." What color is your shower? White. When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone? Yesterday about Bentley. I think Mom finally sees we need to get rid of him. How often do you take naps? Sometimes every day, every other, or just sporadically that week. I generally function better and am in a better mood with an afternoon nap. I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but when do you go back to school? Who the fuck even knows with my piece of shit past school. I was planning to this month. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? In like... *every* restaurant. I don't want to order something I wind up hating. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Maybe? When was the last time the power went out at your house and how long was it out for? Not too long ago I believe thanks to the wind. Just briefly. Ever had to get any stitches? Twice. How many times a year do you go out of state? Usually not even once a year, though now with Sara, it'll probably become a regular pattern of twice or so. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? Always, always, at least once. What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? The deep, philosophical ones. When are you getting your next new phone? Ugh, probably not soon, though I need one desperately. Are you due for a haircut? No, got that done yesterday. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Mental, we already know, but I've got some physical too currently. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Some of it, but I know Mom's not into the heavier stuff I like, and usually not the more indie stuff I'm into it. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Dad, I don't think we agree on most, and Mom, she does some, while not others. She'd probably punch me if she learned I'm pro-choice now. Do you know anyone who’s racist? Very. What about a homophobe? Welcome to good 'ole North Carolina, my friend. What about a pedophile? They wouldn't be alive if I knew a pedophile. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? I dunno who, but there's one person on our street that has loud music playing almost constantly, even at night. You can't hear it indoors and it's not blaring outside, but I find it disrespectful to the few people who live here, especially at night. And mind you, the music sometimes isn't friendly to be playing where all of us can hear it. Name one of your psycho exes? No one. Why were they a psycho ex? N/A What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't see it as bitter "revenge" anymore, but it's chuckle-worthy every now and again to remember he broke up with me due to depression, and now I beat that shit and am working hard to stand on my own. How often do you shop at dollar stores? Only for candy for like, going to the movie theater. What’s your favorite part of a song? Usually riffs, choruses, or bridges... or guitar solos... lol idk it just depends on the song. I'd say maybe bridges the most. In school, do you/did you work better by yourself or in a group? BY MYSELF. When is the last time you ordered from a catalog? I personally never have. What’s the name of the gas station you last stopped at? Idr, it wasn't one we normally stop at 'cuz we were out of town. Is there a piece of jewelry that holds any sentimental value to you? Yeah. What was the first song you heard today? I think I listened to "Kreuzfeuer" by Powerwolf. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? Jonathan Young's cover of "Riot" by 3DG. Someone sign this man, please. Could you design an whole web page yourself? Ha, no. That stuff confuses the shit outta me. Have you ever cooked an entire dinner for your family? No. Who do you tend to get in fights with the most? My mom. Can you say today’s date in a different language? Took me a moment, but in German, yes. Does it bother you if the shower nozzle thing isn’t straight? Yes. Ours won't stay straight for anything. What is the reason you keep waking up every day? Do you have someone or something you particularly live for? Who or what is your inspiration? I want to build a future I'm proud of and enjoy each day more than ever. My history is my inspiration in the sense it's shown me what "low" truly can be and that I can climb out of that hole and to the top of the mountain one day. How would you spend your last night on earth? Would you be by yourself or with friends? Would you do something you never had the courage to do before? I'd want to be with all my loved ones that day, but just with Sara that night. I would tell her how much I love her through all words and actions I possibly could, and if that included something I hadn't had the courage for previously, yes. Do you honestly believe that your relationship (or a future relationship, if you don’t currently have one) will last until the end? How far would you be willing to go for that person? I genuinely think it will, very sincerely. I'd do a hell of a lot for her, but I'm smart enough now to know there has to be a limit. What do you think is the one thing about you that catches everyone’s attention? Are you naturally loud? Or do you make sure you have an eye-catching appearance? I'm very quiet. How would you show someone you loved them, without outright saying, “I love you?” How would you show it through actions? I mean, there's a whole lot you could do. I think the best way is just doing little things that show love. Go make that person their morning coffee, that kinda stuff. What would you do if someone cheated on you? Has that ever happened? Have you cheated on anyone? It's over; no; no. Are you outgoing or shy? I'm shy as hell. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Sara on the 4th. Are you easy to get along with? I think. What kind of people are you attracted to? The unorthodox but friendly ones. The "weirdos," so long it's not in a like, creepy way. People who are very open-minded. Do you still talk to your first crush? No. Do you like bubble baths? I don’t take baths. What are your bad habits? Procrastinating more than anything else, I peel my nails instead of trimming them oops, I weigh myself every single day, I jump to conclusions and catastrophize, I drink soda regularly, I'm very impulsive when incredibly upset, uh... HOW AM I BLANKING HERE ALREADY?????????????????? I have so many. Where would you like to travel? South Africa for the KMP, Tanzania for the Serengeti, Scotland, Japan, Germany, Canada would be cool... man, so many places. Favorite part of your daily routine? Mark video. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Idc. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No, but then again I've been the one broken up with only once. What do you say during awkward silences? Feel like puking and disappearing both. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No. Ever won a competition? For what? Yeah. 4th/5th grade D.A.R.E. report, some online one for two rare Silent Hill: Revelation pieces, my clogging class when I was in high school won some high rank at a competition, and I believe I've won in one or two other writing things? Been suspended/expelled? For what? No. Been arrested? For what? No. Craving something? What? I have a mad craving for Hardee's chicken tenders, good Lord. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? A stuffed snake from Sara named Plum. :') How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I could not even TRY to guess. I was obsessed with stuffed animals as a kid (I even got teased now and again for occasionally bringing one to elementary school), and so many I have hold deep sentimental value. They're stored in bags in the attic. They're probably gonna end up going to my nieces and nephew, or by if some miraculous change of heart, I want kids. Favorite character from Mean Girls? I couldn't name a single one. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? Dory, always. I was obsessed. OBSESSED. With Dory. I'm not kidding when I say I wanted to change my real name to Dory. Now in adulthood, Gill is high on my list too, probably #2. In a fight with someone? No. Do you tan a lot? Never. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes. I want to legitimately ride one one day, not just at a carnival and such. Are you a vegetarian? I wish, but the juncture I was is over. I had to stop for nutrition's sake as well as easier weight loss. After you truly look into the process of killing the animal... it's nauseating, even with the "humane" methods, which are not exactly so. No, I do not shame meat-eaters; we're omnivores and our diet is designed to include meat. It's just I personally wish I wasn't participating in that process by consuming what has been killed so gruesomely. What goal are you aiming for this year? Improving my mental health further is #1. I at the very least want to make considerable progress on my anxiety. Are you currently reading any books at the moment? Not really. I'm like a few pages into The Fault In Our Stars, but I'm not reading it anywhere near regularly. Would you own a Siamese cat? The cat I have now appears to have Siamese heritage! I love the breed, so obviously yes. Have you ever had an ultimate adrenaline rush? Maybe? Idk. Do you like deviled eggs? I absolutely, positively loathe them. I hate yolk. What’s the farthest you’ve walked? Hm, I dunno. Maybe through Disney World as a kid or a trip to the zoo? What is your favorite horror movie? I like both The Blair Witch Projects. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah. When are you likely to hide your emotions? When I'm jealous, probably. Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I mean I don't know how either would feel, but probably thirst? I feel like it would be quicker. When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? I don't watch TV. Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? I've told Dad especially and Chelsea I wish they'd quit, usually indirectly to avoid feeling mean or rude. I'm 99% convinced it's gonna be lung cancer that kills my dad, and Chels does it way too much, especially with her age. What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? Mom pointed out how I can jump to heavy metal to some random indie stuff in the blink of an eye. Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? I've tried. One in particular was a very close online friend, but I'm pretty sure she went through with it. Who in your family do you act like the most? Mom, I guess? What was the last topic that you ranted about? RANTS WITH SARA ARE THE FUCKING BEST. Probably her, but idr what. Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Not anymore. Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? No. Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? No. Was there ever a time when you wished you’d never been born? Yup. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Uh, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. You can have one famous person’s wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? Suzy Hanson is an i c o n. When was the last time you wrote someone a note? Oh idk. It may have been the end of '17 when I sent Jason that final/closure letter. Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I tell Mom. What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? Hm. I dunno. If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? NOPE. HI AVPD I SEE YOU. When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? Not since that time my sis, her best friend, and I stayed up all night. We went on like two walks and went swimming; my mother woke up very confused lmao. Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone’s heart? Not to my recollection. Has anyone ever played with yours? I don't believe he did so deliberately as some game. When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? During a car ride with my mom at some point. I always control the music and yeah, it's a bit too loud sometimes. Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? No. How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? I dunno, frequently? It's not as if I'm ever away from the laptop long, and a clock's right there. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? Omg yes. Do you like frogs? Yeah! Are you afraid of dying? Not really. The older I've gotten the more I've become comfortable with it just being a part of life. I sure don't want death to come prematurely, but I still don't really worry about what's after death. I'm fearful of the process, but not it itself. Do you consider yourself politically intelligent? NO. I'm clueless. Hence why I'm neutral on a lot. Do you like pixie sticks? Ye. Do you like French toast? I would die for the perfect French toast probably. Are you good at doing math in your head? No; I can't do even simple math up there. Do you know a lot about history? Definitely not. Name a TV show that you absolutely can’t stand. Rooster Teeth was the first to come to mind. Do you look like your age? I guess. The past two times I've had alcohol at a restaurant I wasn't carded... though that makes me fear I look even older. x_x Do you feel confident in a bathing suit? Fuck no. Have you ever had a concussion? Once. Sucked major dick. Do you like hot tubs? For a little bit. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? Not currently, at least I think. Have you ever donated money to a charity? Yeah. Do you like the color lime green? Sure. Do you wish you could change something about your hair? Can I dye it already please????? Have you ever gotten a makeover? No. Do you think the minions from Despicable Me are cute? They annoy the fuck outta me. Did you have a Gameboy as a child? Yes; still have it, actually. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? Seeing this question made me so happy asjfjfweowq. The first is good, though I had some complaints about the altering of the plot. I warmed up to it quite a bit with time, though; I was just biased towards the game, which I still do like more. The second is... objectively trash as a plot, all the hell over the place. I think the entire fandom agrees with that. The only things I really enjoyed about it were of course Red Pyramid/Pyramid Head and the carousel scene with Dark Alessa. Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past. I'm always on some type of technology. I fucking hate it. Do you support war? I'm a pacifist. Guess. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Nope; if I do it's only ever to Girt, really. Do you use the word “hello” daily? No. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Idk. Where did you get your worst scar from? I can't see it, but I'm assuming the one from my surgery. Do you like Coco Pebbles the cereal? I used to find them okay, but haven't had 'em in years. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Honestly have you ever purchased something, wore it, and then returned it? Maybe? I don't think so, though... I'd feel too bad. At least me now would. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My mom. If chocolate was an illegal drug - would you be a drug addict? I assume you mean it became illegal just the way is/with no new risks to it? In that case, I wouldn't be an addict or go out of my way to get it, but if there was a piece of chocolate easily available to me, yeah, I'd eat it. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes, because they're obvs. gonna be of better quality and I care about walking comfortably more that "fancy" clothes. Which is worse: onion breath or garlic breath? Oh idk, both are. Ew. When was the last time you got a shot? When I was at the dentist a few months back and they had to fill a cavity, thus I had numbing shots. They had to give me way more than usual, though, which I thought was odd. I just wasn't getting numb enough until like, 6+ in. Are you proud of your parents? I'm very proud of how Dad has developed as a person, and I have immense respect for my mom for how she works her ASS off to keep her kids safe, healthy, and well-provided for. I could never do all she does. Do you say “soda” or “pop”? "Soda." Are you shy about singing in front of people? YES. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange; not a fan of grape soda. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Good question.

14. let's do it...ride it... my pony..

Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why?

Well, no. I may be able to shed insight on someone’s emotional and relationship problems but I would have no idea how do their taxes if they asked.

What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why?

Socrates. Love So-crates – that motherfucker knew what he was talking about.

What was the last thing to upset you?

I really wanted a chocolate milkshake at 7am and couldn’t get one.

Where did you go to the last time you left your house?

Left to go on the road with Brandon and the puppy.

Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail?

A few of those thin, hair ties.

What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself?

Umm, every dish ever? Cooking isn’t my forte – it involves following directions, paying attention and cleaning up. Yuck.

What is the latest you’ve stayed up for? Why?

I’ve stayed up for several days before thanks to the magical power of drugs. I feel obligated to state that this is generally bad for you on many levels and wouldn’t recommend doing so for any reason.

What gives you immense pleasure?

Picking feathers out of down jackets.

What forces you out of your comfort zone

Well, I guess I do. Ultimately I am the only one who can make the choice to leave my comfort zone, regardless of any outside forces that may have suggested it.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear?

A jock strap? Couldn’t imagine there would ever be an instance where it would be applicable.

Has anyone ever said that you’re delusional? If so, what for?

If so, not to my face. We all delude ourselves to some extent – part of the human adventure.

Will you go outside today?

Probably not for an extended length of time but for short adventures like truck stops and dog walks.

Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy?

Sounds exhausting and pointless. Feel like obsessively focusing on achieving happiness (or what we think happiness is) actually makes us miserable. I simply try to appreciate shit as it is and I’m more than happy enough.

What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by?

“Try to let what is unfair teach you.” – David Foster Wallace.

What is something you lie to yourself about?

That I want to someday work out. Ya know, I really want to genuinely want to…but I fucking hate excercize.

What has been the best job you’ve ever had?

Angelo's. I was the main waitress and they used to let me make hand-drawn coloring books and dessert menus. I still sort of work for them doing the take out orders remotely from the road.

What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate?

Honestly have no idea.

Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting?

Ireland, Italy, different South American cultures, Native American.

What is something you judge about other people?

I sincerely try not to be judgy, however, I tend to catch myself still judging when people seem “basic” to me - you know? Generic, mindless sheep. I have to remind myself there’s probably more substance to them I just can’t see.

What is something you do not want to discuss about?

Finance, what celebrities are wearing to any award show ever, professional sports.

Do you always follow the rules to a T? Why?

If they cohere to my moral philosophy, usually. I try not to do anything I wouldn’t want anybody to do to me; like cut in front of a long line of people waiting. But I have no problem breaking federal or societal laws that I don’t agree with or have no consequential effects on others.

Do you consider yourself to be an artisan?

Definitely not.

Do you enjoy solving problems?

Non-mathematical ones, sure.

Are you more books smart, street smart or random trivia smart?

My knowledge is like, strictly restricted to the realms of writing, emotional intelligence, psychology, philosophy and human relationships.

Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner?

Visual learner or hands-on. I have to physically grasp a concept or sometimes even teach it myself in order to get it.

Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert?

I had to google “ambivert” but I’m one of those (lean a little more introverted side of it though).

Are you socially anxious or awkward?

Used to be…then I realized most of these anxieties were based on my own assumptions about what I thought others would or did think.

Are you more detail oriented or mostly see the big picture?

Weirdly, neither. I kind of live on a whim.

Would you ever take part in a TV quiz show? If so, which one? If not, why?

Cash Cab. Some bald guy in a NYC cab goes around asking random trivia and gives you a certain amount of cash for each correct answer.

What do you consider to be childish?

Not accepting differing viewpoints.

For the asks: multiples of 3😄

3. are you an auditory, visual, or tactile learner?for most subjects I'm very visual, but I also need to hear people explain it to me if that makes sense? like i cant absorb it just by reading about it but I cant always visualize what people are saying without seeing it at the same time6. how often do you use chapstick?every day! multiple times a day. I'm a lesbian

9. if you could make any job you want, what would it be?it's less about one ideal job I want and more about having the time and energy to dedicate to multiple passions of mine! I wanna be a researcher, a tutor, a psychology conference-goer, a small farmer, a book store owner ... just a lot of avenues!!12. scarf or hat?scarves probably! hats are cool but I'm worried they make my face look round and bare15. do you remember your dreams?not often. in fact, I didnt think I ever dreamt except maybe twice a year bc I never remembered them

18. someone who's changed your life?well I have this philosophy that you're always changing with every interaction so technically everyone, but my research mentor has had a large impact on my in terms of my development as a better student and researcher, and introducing me to what I want to research for the rest of my life?21. why do you like _ (your choice)?I like baking! and cooking in general, but baking bread especially is really relaxing and you get to experiment with different flavors and at the end of all your work and patience u get homemade bread!! nothin better than that24. are you religious?no. not really spiritual either? I cant put my thoughts on Higher Powers into words without sounding like a bit of a nihilistic asshole which is not Really it but u kno

27. favorite boardgame?I enjoy chess even tho I'm bad at it, and I also like stratego? but it's been a while since I've played it lmao30. telekinesis or telepathy?probably telekinesis? it's just cooler lol. unless being discovered/exposed/whatever is a threat, then telepathy

33. what's something that no one on tumblr knows about you?that's hard! some of my best friends here know everything about me basically, and I overshare constantly. hm! well, I'm moderately asthmatic, such that exercising (or even standing) for too long will throw me into an asthma attack (and one time that got so bad that, coupled with probable dehydration and anemia, caused me to pass out and throw up while unconscious lol?)36. how long have you had your most recent blog?that's probably my Spanish studyblr blog, and only since aprilish if I remember correctly!39. have you ever dated?yes, I have 1 ex gf and I'm dating my wonderful gf of 6 months now!!

42. do you have any siblings?yes, I have one (1) asshole younger brother

45. weirdest thing you own?hm. I have a genie lamp that my babysitter gave me in kindergarten? or a sign that looks like a Wonka chocolate bar??48. favorite picture of you or that someone else has taken of you?51. how many languages are you fluent in?1.5! I can get by in most situations in Spanish, and ofc I'm fluent in English54. favorite word?in Spanish, I remember when I went to costa Rica and I saw a sign that said 'burbujita' which i believe is like "little bubbler" or maybe "little bubble witch", I'm not positive, but I always thought that was really cute :) in English, anything that sounds a little silly. I used to hate it, but now I really like the word tummy

57. one thing you wish never existed?hot dogs60. favorite story you read as a kid? percy jackson!63. long or short nails?I like the way (some) long nails look, but I have such an issue with the way my nails feel that I have to keep them short (by biting them :( the clippers on my finger nails actually make my skin crawl)

66. fruits or vegetables?bro I love me some veggies. fruits are almost a dessert u know like u can only have so many. u can never have 2 many vegetables69. do you like public speaking?I would like to meet the lucky fucker who says yes to this honestly? I prepared a 9 minute speech and practiced it for almost a week and when I got up there I sped through the whole thing in just over 7Peyton72. favorite thing about your personality?I'm pretty funny (to me anyway) and I'm very loyal until you do something really really fucked up (and even then I'll still feel bad about not talking anymore)75. have you ever been to disneyland?no but I've been to disneyworld! it was only okay. not worth all the money imo78. favorite extracirricular class you've taken?well I study Spanish in my off time bc that's pretty cool, but i honestly dont think I've ever taken a non-required class just bc I wanted to

81. worst memory involving someone else?um. almost all of them lmao I look back at every social interaction I've ever had and cringe84. what natural disaster are you most afraid of?fire probably?? or an earthquake?? or both like a fuckin volcanic eruption???87. mansion or penthouse?manion fs

90. do you keep letters or holiday cards?I keep handwritten letters!! my mom keeps holiday cards, but I dont really care that much about those93. what genre do you like most?horror! whether its movies, shows, video games, whatever! love me some horror stuff :)96. first word that comes to your mind?burgle :o

do you have tips on taking notes?

yes!! i have many, so i tried to make it easier for you to navigate :)

L O N G post ahead of you, covering lecture notes and readings notes, from a college senior :)

lecture notes:

i suggest using a notebook and pen, physically writing down. it’s easier to study, and since it’s using your body, you have a much higher retention rate on your side than if you use a laptop.

i have used my laptop for taking notes before. it’s easier to take more notes, word for word, but that’s not always helpful. maybe that’s your style, especially if you enjoy rewriting your notes all pretty and more successfully when you get home. i am not that girl. 

more notes does not always equal better! it’s good for you to listen actively, selecting what is important and what is not. i take very thorough notes. i take a lot of notes. if you need notes for a missed class, i. am. your. girl. that doesn’t mean i write out everything word for word. selecting details, clauses, and images really helps me to not only keep up, but also to memorize later. plus, when you’re typing, it’s easier to type all the words out without really processing the whole meaning. remember that dense notes are harder to study

finally, when you write by hand, you can get more creative with your style. occasionally, i’ll web notes out from one, rather than a traditional outline, bc it makes more sense for the topic

it also helps my anxiety! so much! if i force myself to take great in depth notes, then my mind has to dedicate more brain space to the task at hand than to my anxieties.

stick to one of these though. it really sucks to get into a test and realize you didn’t study half of your notes bc you forgot half were on your laptop. it’s awful lol.

if you use a laptop, get used to how it works first. do u know how much i resent trying to switch from a bullet that is under other bullets (like this one, not filled in) to a main point bullet (the ones filled in). it can be so confusing. also make sure you use a program you like. you can take directly into documents, but i find that i really love evernote, as i can make notebooks for classes, stacks of notebooks for my college, and that i can tag notes with specific classes and topics.

if you’re on paper, for fuck’s sake, divide your notebook into sections for classes. keep it all together. those notebooks with handy dandy dividers are so helpful, and they keep you from carrying around 5 notebooks at once.

i wouldn’t worry too much about highlighters and such in class. there’s just so much going on then. save highlighting and color coding for later, and count it as studying.

don’t worry about traditional outlining styles, with roman numerals or whatever. i take notes very simply. bullets/dashes, subnotes under a broad note. 

do it how it makes sense to you! maybe that includes different bullet styles, different places for different types of information (on a simple level, i start writing chapter numbers and titles as far to the left as i can go, over the margins, in bold and capital letters. i also usually go over these later in a certain color marker)

in some classes it is helpful for me to write the topic along the top of the page in a highlighter (color coding is lovely) the main idea/topic for each page. the classes this was most obviously helpful in were astronomy (COMETS or BLACKHOLES etc) and shakespeare (MUCH ADO ACT 2 or ROMEO etc)

it’s easiest to just note page numbers of referenced complex diagrams, as they are usually in your reading or accessible online

your style might look different in each class. whatever works.

note everything (everything) your professor writes on the board. if it’s important enough for your professor to write it, it’s probably important enough for you to write it.

note examples only if it’s helpful for your memory. however, make light note of things like famous people and their science/psych experiments. but in math and such, note! the! examples! and! reasons! will help you so much.

examples that have emotion, imagery, or sound are going to be more helpful. applicable examples are most helpful. good professors will lecture you accordingly. lazy ones will not.

star anything that the professor stresses or hints will be tested. anything that they say is a major theme or whatever.

note main ideas/points/themes, definitions, conclusions, 

use your tests to help you figure out what you need to know. ask questions about the tests too. in every class i’ve taken, i’m totally shocked at how willingly people ask about exam format and how willingly the professor will tell us how it will work. they want you to succeed.

people learn differently! i suggest taking notes in class and later adding touches that help you. count it as study time too. a warm up, if you will. 

if you’re visual, this might include highlighting, color coding, drawing diagrams, etc.

 if you’re an auditory learner, reading the notes out loud and organizing them accordingly, as well as making up rhymes, rhythms and such, might help you. some auditory learners actually like to record lectures and listen to them later. 

if you learn best through movement, rewriting or making flashcards will be great for you.

sometimes professors go really. fuckin. fast. why. idk? but

dont be afraid to ask them to go back a slide bc i guarantee, you will be the class hero for asking

develop a little bit of shorthand. sometimes i end up using initials, arrows, abbreviations… this is where i got “bc” and “thru” and “u” and such. lol. also, list things vertically, rather than using commas and “and/&/+) it’ll be more clear later

some professors you literally cannot take notes on. it sucks. you’re going to need to do the readings and pick their brains on how the test will be to figure out how to prepare. take home tests are your best friend. thank god for them. seriously. get your butt to church and do some worshipping.

if your professor puts powerpoints online, save the powerpoints, ya never know.

look at inspiration if you want, but remember that notes on studyblr are usually copied from class notes. if you’re too focused on how pretty your notes are, good luck to you

finally, the day before an exam, i review my notes that i have (hopefully) been studying. i like to make a one page cheat sheet / study guide on everything i didn’t remember, leaving out everything i understand, memorized, or want to disregard. 

reading notes:

ima be real and tell you i hardly ever do reading unless i will be tested on it in class in multiple choice. and im an english student. ye i suck, i know. i dont condone shirking the system but u know what, reading shakespeare or 18th century lit literally makes me want to kill myself. so, im a senior in college, and have barely ever done the reading for a class. the thing is, if you do it right, anything is better than just reading the words on the page and not getting the meaning. dont be a reading zombie. read actively, even if it’s not the actual reading. doing this, i have a 3.9 gpa. so. there’s hope for us yet.

first of all, yall need to do your damn reading. idc how. but due to the fact that a test will be multiple choice, essay answer, a presentation, or a paper, you’re going to not love pulling nothing out of your ass. can be done tho. just be fake deep.

that being said, i’m writing a lot below, but the reality is that if it’s lit, your notes dont have to be longer than a sentence. if it’s a textbook, more.

the same formatting question comes into play here, except it’s should you take notes in your book or in a notebook?

listen i’m always going to be pro notebook, pro physically writing it out as it helps me really get the information into my head, rather than more passively highlighting

i tend to do both, if im willing to mark up a book. i underline and highlight things that stick out to me, and i write them down as well. sometimes when reading literature/essays, if i know the contextual/meaning notes will be interesting to me later, i will copy notes both into my notebook and also less in depth onto post it notes (which also make sweet little flashcards btw), which i will stick into the passage. this is so helpful when a) im reading it again later and b) when we are discussing a passage in class

buy used books. it’s cheaper. until it happens to u, u do NOT UNDERSTAND how EXCITING it is to get a book that has highlights and underlines in it ALREADY. DUDE. my work is basically DONE for me. now take that lightly, bc often different ppl will highlight different pieces of information. however, it is helpful.

look up summaries. do not simply rely on cliffsnotes and sparknotes, esp since professors are very aware of these. google “title of book, summary, chapter notes, whatever youre looking for” and use the blog posts, the book reviews, the papers that come up. does this method probably take a bit longer? maybe? but it’s easier on my tired brain.

if you don’t have time to read your textbook one day and really want to, read the introduction and the conclusion to the chapter, or the first and last sentences to the paragraphs. it’s not great, but it’s something.

like your lectures, note definitions, conclusions, and helpful examples, as well as people and dates. if i’m reading literature and i’m deciding to be a smart student i will keep several logs as well. these logs will make it so. easy. to study for your exam:

updated character lists, including name, relationships, and anything defining and important

scene/chapter summaries, just a sentence summarizing what happened where

any quotes or themes that stand out

i highly highly highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of the well educated mind for note taking on a range of genres. this is what i had to use through high school and while it’s involved, it’s incredibly helpful.

if you’re going to have to cite your notes, note the page number in the margin every time you flip the page

the biggest issue i have with reading is when and where to do it. before or after class? always ask your professor if they do not tell you. where in your notebooks? i always do it on the next blank page bc leaving space stresses me the fuck out. make notes on the top of your pages of corresponding lectures/readings. 

for both lectures and readings i really really really suggest either having something to drink or something to snack on (think fruit, loose nuts, m&ms. small loose things rather than things u bite? idk they just last longer?)

okay i hope this was somewhat helpful even tho it’s an incredibly longwinded post. it seems like a lot, but the reality is that while i take a lot of notes, i don’t make them complicated, i don’t have rules, i just do what feels right in the moment. they’re not at all stressful. just take it easy and do whatever works for you :) 

if anyone has other tips, feel free to reply :)

How to survive high school (by a straight A and mentally ill high school graduate)

If this post isn't a way to show that through 4 years of high school I have SUCKED at titling things then I don't know what is.

Anyways, long-ass titles aside, this is a mini guide for kids about to go into grade 9, or any grade really, who want to prepare themselves or change themselves.

Cause boy do I know you change a lot through high school. Thank god. 

Don’t expect this to be formal, or funny (unless you have my sense of humour in which case I think it’s fucking hilarious but that’s besides the point), but hopefully it will be helpful. (tip 1; long intros like this are useless 90% of the times, this time being part of that 90%) 

1) Honestly you may as well just buy yourself two locks for your locker right away. Have one locking your locker, and the other on you or at home. My locks broke so many times, or I forgot what the combo was, I went through so many of those fucking things (except in grade 12, I just gave up and stopped using my locker even though that was against the rules at my school lmao)

2) Dressing nice can be fun and can be a way to motivate yourself to get up in the morning, but don’t stress about what others will think about how you’re dressed or how you look. By the end of the day everyone’s going to look like trash any ways, so don’t bother

3) Those guidance counsellors? Yea. Use ‘em. Even if they’re the worst people on the planet Earth, use them. They can help tell your teachers about your problems, or just give you a quiet place to sit for a bit. 

4) DON’T STRESS ABOUT THE FUTURE. Everyone’s gonna say “you’re in grade 9, you better start thinking about what you wanna be” and they’ll say that every goddamn year. But let me tell you. I knew from grade 7 I wanted to go to art school. I really wanted to be an artist. I applied to an art school this year, I got into that art school this year, and I declined the offer. In my last few months of high school I changed my mind. I decided that I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do, so I chose a program that’s sort of like English. TLDR; people change their fucking minds. So don’t stress about it

5) Now this may differ from country to country but Universities and colleges don’t look at your grade 9 or 10 marks. They don’t give a shit if you got a 20% on a test in grade 9 (which I did lmao). They will only look at 11 and 12, and really they only look at your grade 11 marks for early acceptances. If you have shitty grade 11 marks but good grade 12 marks then you’re fine.

6) Speaking of Universities, apply to every single one that you can. I applied to something like 10 different schools/programs. Some of them I didn’t even know if I wanted to go into them. Some of them were incredibly hard to get into and I was sure I wasn’t going to get in. But I applied to everything that caught my interest, so that I could have doors open. (and, as it turns out, the program I’m going into was one of those last minute ‘i’m not sure if i’ll like this or not but it sounds kinda cool so I’ll apply’)

7) Learn new study habits. The jump between grade 8 and 9 (and 10 and 11 so rip your 10ers) is insane. It’s normal for grades to drop a bit (or a lot @ my multiple failed tests in gr 9 lmao) but just take it with grace and learn which way of studying works best for you. (protip: figure out if you’re an auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learner. If you’re 2, or like me and all 3 of them, then your just have to figure out which subject you learn best with which learning style. for example, in math I learn best by doing (kinesthetic) but I suck at learning math by seeing (visual), but in history I learn best by discussing and hearing (auditory) and seeing (visual), but if you make me act out history, write notes or anything like that I won’t learn shit.) 

8) If you’re not a math or science person, don’t take them. Same goes for English, or any other subject. In my school system it was required for you to take english every year, so there was no getting out of that, but I could chose to stop taking math after grade 11, and science after grade 10. A lot of people associate being good at math and science as being “smart”, and I got a lot of comments that because I wasn’t taking them my studies were “easy”. And trust me, if you decide to not take them you’ll hear the same thing. But the thing is, you don’t need them. If you’re going into an English program, then why in the fucking world would you take Chemistry or math?? What’s the use of it? Once you know the basic skills in both subjects I say drop it, unless you need it or find it fun. 

9) Speaking of not doing things that you can’t, each country has different terms for the “upper” level classes and the “lower” level classes. So I’ll be referring to them as just that. If you find that an “upper” level class goes too fast for you or you just aren’t learning from it, go to the lower level. Not all your classes have to be “upper” and not all have to be “lower”, it all depends on you. You’re not smarter for being in an “upper” level class, and you’re not dumber for being in a “lower” level class. It’s all based on styles of learning. That’s it. and 95% of the time, the two levels learn the same things, just at different paces and with different techniques. 

10) If you have a mental illness, let your teachers know. Even if you don’t want to tell anyone. Even if you think it’s embarrassing. Trust me, telling your teachers will make your life 100% easier, a lot of them are very understanding. I had teachers who would let me leave the class with a friend at any point I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. And when I went through my major depressive episodes and missed weeks of school, my teachers let me do work at home that was strictly in class work or let me delay tests or just skip units all together, and I often got extra time for everything. But if I hadn’t told them about my situation, I would have ended up being stuck and probably would have failed all my classes.

11) If someone offers you help, take it. ALWAYS ACCEPT HELP. Even if you have a stupid sense of pride (like me) and think you can do everything by yourself (like me) YOU CAN’T (like...you guessed it, me). Trust me, when a parent, teacher, or even sibling helps you with homework, or essays or studying, it just makes things easier. 

12) Take notes. I know I said taking notes doesn’t always help me, or other people, but do it anyways. And not on your computer. Hand write your notes, even if you have the messiest fucking handwriting, just do it. It’s been proven that you’re more likely to retain information that you handwrite over notes on a computer or reading, no matter what your learning type is. 

13) Don’t do things last minute. Don’t do your project last minute, or your essay, or study for a test. Cramming doesn’t work. Basically what I’m saying is manage your time properly. If you have 2 weeks to study for a test, take those two weeks. Don’t take just 10 hours the night before. 

14) We’re almost done, don’t worry. Join extra curricular activities! HAVE A LIFE. Literally it’s one of my biggest regrets that I didn’t do more. If you aren’t a sports person, join clubs. If you aren’t a clubs person, join sports. If you’re neither, join student council or something. If you want access to everything (sports, clubs, etc) join Yearbook, it’s a great way to be involved while also hiding from everyone. But join things, make new friends. Have a life. It’ll make things SO much easier

15) Speaking of friends, don’t worry about them. You’re going to make new friends, lose friends and then repeat. You and everyone else change so much through high school it’s almost impossible to constantly have the exact same friend group. So don’t worry if you lose friends, you’re going to make new ones, I promise. 

14) My last and most important point; GRADES DON’T MATTER. It’s a number (or letter) that is marking you on how you felt the day you were taking a test or doing a presentation. That’s all it is. It’s not testing your intelligence, it’s not something to compete over. It’s just a stupid little number. I’m not saying ignore it completely, still try to work hard to learn things, but don’t do it for the sole reason of getting a good grade. One of the biggest things I learned in my last two years of high school was that when I was stressed about my grades and studied for the only purpose of getting a 90%, and literally gave up my life to study, I often didn’t do well. Those are the times when I failed tests, and also the times where I barely was able to get an 80% average. But in 11 and 12 I decided to take it easy. I studied a little bit every second or third night, but I tried not to stress about it. On nights before tests I would limit myself and never stay up past midnight. I forced myself to not care about grades even though every little anxious bone in me told me to care. And I went from having an 80.2% average in grade 10, to an 88% in grade 11 and a 92.5% in grade 12 (i feel inclined to say it was 95% but I had two hard ass teachers second semester so uh yeah that sucked). SO DON’T STRESS. LET GO OF THE IMPORTANCE OF GRADES. RAISE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER TO THAT A. Just do the best you can and then continue to push yourself to do better. Do it because you want to, not because you want a higher grade.

I hope this was somewhat helpful. High school is what you make of it, it can be fun, or horrible, so try to have fun with it. I have a lot of good memories from it. The best piece of advice I can really give is just be aware that your life isn’t only school, and it doesn’t end after high school. (Also always buy your teachers christmas gifts or end of year gifts, they will love you and you will instantly become a favourite)

I know everyone’s suffering right now but I think we should acknowledge the “little” things so here are mine;

I didn’t know what type of learner I was but I’m pretty sure it’s visual and auditory and I’m not doing good right now.

Math dropped a whole letter grade

Got a zero on a fucking ORCHESTRA assignment, that’s how and I am right now.

I can’t vent anymore and my mental breakdown rate has gone up.

I can’t feel my fingers because I’ve been playing for almost four hours now to try and get less than two lines recorded properly. (Just submitted it, stills sounds like shit)

I’m eating as little as ever (one time I threw up because I ate too much after starving myself for a while, this is worse) if at all.

I had two breakdowns in front of my mom which is about the same amount I’ve had throughout my whole life before this.

I miss getting hugs from my friends, I’m not feeling the love at home.

I’m fortunate enough to not be in an abusive situation but I’m worried about my mental health, more than I’ve ever been.

All my work piles-up on Friday because I don’t have the guts to say I’m busy and stay in my room.

I don’t feel loved.

I feel needed, like I’m being used.

I feel more love from two texts from my friends than a month in my house.

I had two breakdowns today and my mom was making jokes out of it.

I said “hello” to my dad on a call and he asked me if I was sad, my mom made JOKES ABOUT ME CRYING BECAUSE I COULDN’T GET AN ASSIGNMENT DONE BUT I SAY HI TO MY DAD AN HE NOTICES SOMETHING IS OFF.

I need him.

I really don’t feel appreciated.

I locked the bathroom door in my stepdad’s face while whipping my tears and he was still laughing.

I’m not fine.

Introduction:

Hi. I’m B. I’m a Junior at my community college. (Yeah, i know. Not my fault, it was there’s.)

Storytime: Flashback to 2015, straight out of high school. I go to a community college because it was cheaper to get into if i used my aunt and uncle’s address. Went there for Journalism, because i thought that’s what i wanted to do. Instead of putting me in all general ED classes to get them out of the way, they decided to talk me into putting me in my major and minor classes first. Then it just kept happening for four semesters, two years. 2015-2016 Fall and winter semesters, i was in Intro to Journalism and English 151. Then in the Winter, i took Journalism workshop which my counselor failed to mention that it was the student newspaper and English 152. So i was stuck in that unless i wanted to cut my financial aid by dropping it. Then Fall and Winter 2016-2017 I changed my major to English. This is when my counselor finally told me about the ‘transfer agreement’. Fall semester was Children’s Lit and Creative writing, Winter semester was Anthropology and Poetry and Drama, and Math 090. My Anthropology class was to fulfill the Social sciences credit for the transfer agreement. Poetry and Drama was just for fun. I figured fuck it. Math 090 was for the requirement, but that class didn’t count but i would still have to pass it. I failed it because i have a learning disability in that area and they weren’t helping me with my math. I even went to a tutor and they literally made fun of me for not knowing my multiplication tables by heart, so i stopped going. Then this year, my counselor basically fucked me with this news:

I had too many credits in English, but because i can’t pass the math course, they decided to bring up the transfer agreement again and tell me that i need to have all these requirements to graduate. I had all of my credits in english, most of my credits in social sciences.

So 2017-2018 rolled around. I took a history course to fulfill one of the requirements to transfer. Passed that. Then she hit me with this news:

If i couldn’t pass the math course, i would have to change my major and go into a certificate program to graduate from this school and go on to a university.

I was pissed to say the least. I’ve been there for 4 years now. I don’t want to stay here any longer, especially with how they run their Special Education department. But i was stuck. I didn’t know if i could transfer my credits to another community college and i didn’t want to just quit with all the money i had put into this.

So Winter 2018, this semester, i started brand new. I’m now majoring in Early Children’s Education, even though i have just a small interest in teaching kids and i’m not even sure i want to do that. But, get this: I’m not getting a degree. It’s a certificate program. I’ll graduate with a certificate from this shitty school, then go onto a university and hopefully, switch my major back to what i want to do.

So winter 2018, i’m taking a computer class to fulfill my electronic requirement for transferring and a foundations of early childhood class for the stupid certificate so i can get the hell out of this stupid college.

But that’s not even the worst of it, (this is going to be a long post. Sorry but i have a lot of problems with this school and it’s just. I’m just so done at this point but i can’t quit because i don’t want to quit.) As stated above, i have a learning disability, centered in math. Because of that, i have certain accomodations that i get to make classes easier. I have my tests read to me because i’m an auditory learner when it comes to tests and a visual learner when it comes to literally anything else (i know, my brain is weird. Whatever.) I get extra time on tests, and i have a secluded room because noise and people give me anxiety and i can’t really focus.

I’ve taken tests down there before so i know how the process goes. I put in a test accomodation a week in advance for this quiz on Monday, they never got back to me. I never got an email confirming it. So i called the office, the lady tells me that they are waiting on the proffessor to apparently confirm it. I ask the lady if she denies it, will i still be able to go down there and take it? She says yes but i won’t have the extra time that i requested.

My head is thinking what the fuck? So i email my counselor, it was respectful but it definitely got my points across. She calls me, tells me that what i said is no way how it works, blah blah blah and that i was getting my accomodation. I had already decided in my head if they told me no, i wasn’t getting what i asked for, i was contacting the ADA and going down to the Disability services lab and bitching about how i could sue if they didn’t give me what i legally needed.

Mind you, i’ve had so many problems with this school and i just want out. If they denied me my right to have an accomodation, i was not going down without a fight.

It all got resolved though, so whatever.

So, long story short, i hate my community college, the special ed department literally sucks at giving out information, and i’ll be stuck at this shitty school until i’m 24. Yeah.

So, i guess this is my blog to bitch about my experiences here, share my photos on my assignments, and help keep me motivated because i honestly feel so burnt out.

Follow if you want. I’ll be posting studying stuff. I can’t promise i won’t go on twenty paragraph rants about my school, but hey, if you like reading that stuff, then this is the place to be.

- B

Am I the only one who's horny for podcasts?

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

He murmurs into your ear, his voice as soft as it is authoritative. Dazed, you don't quite hear what he's saying, but it sounds imploring, urgent — making your heart beat quicker, breath heavy, lips part. 

This isn't a sexual encounter. It's a podcast. Dan Carlin's Hardcore History to be exact. And I'm horny for it.

It's about time we all acknowledged the unspoken eroticism of podcasts (at least, certain types of them).

For enthusiasts, podcasters whisper into our ears with honey-smooth voices on a weekly if not daily basis. (Oh, don't worry, we'll get to Michael Barbaro.) As we lay in our beds alone at night, they come with us, that soothing and familiar cadence washing over us, melting the day away until it's just us ... and that voice. Podcasters are also our constant companions, drowning out the noise and stress of daily routines, turning morning commutes into immersive journeys through sumptuous soundscapes of storytelling.

For the incurably perverted like myself, they can be a wake up call to the wondrous and under-explored world of audio porn. (Apologies to the hardworking creators who may never see their work the same way, but your content is definitely serving us in more ways than one 😉.)

Everyone trying to pretend like podcasts don't get them hot.

Image: vicky leta / mashable 

The rise of the aural fixation

Those who've felt even the slightest titillation from that "aural fixation" are probably relieved to hear they're not alone. A majority of you, however, most likely feel a bit disgusted to discover that rule #34 even infects the wholesome realm of podcasting.

But inarguably, there is a unique and unmatched intimacy embedded into the medium. For more people than you imagine, that makes podcasts the perfect avenue for a more humanized and personal type of masturbation. Both in terms of everyday podcasts and those purposefully trying to get you off.

"Being able to use your imagination to fill in the blanks can be incredibly sexy when many people are used to seeing porn that looks a certain way," said Girl On The Net, a pseudonym for the sex blogger whose dulcet British tones voice some of the most popular auditory erotica on the web.

@HardcoreHistory so glad to hear your sexy voice after 2 endless months of waiting💀💉

— echo (@Alanood504) January 14, 2013

In the same way that some of us are auditory rather than visual learners, some of us are hornier for aural rather than visual porn. It's a small, but growing niche. For Girl on the Net, that's evident in how traffic to her audio porn page nearly doubled over the last year.

SEE ALSO: Podcasts were my friends when I had none

"I think people are becoming much more aware that tube sites aren’t the only place to go to get your rocks off — and I hope many are realizing tube sites aren’t the most ethical place to get your rocks off either," she said, referring to porn sites that host user generated content.

Phoebe Judge's voice is super hot. Inviting but authoritarian, a little hoarse.

— madeleine (@parietines) December 16, 2017

On subreddits alone, there are roughly 276,000 subscribers to r/gonewildaudio (for naughty recordings of yourself), 20,000 on r/GonewildAudible (for more general erotic audio needs), 25,200 on r/pillowtalkaudio (for erotic amateur recordings with consenting partners), and 68,000 on r/nsfwasmr (for sexualized ASMR, which used to be a popular tumblr, too). Similarly, there's a whole subgenre of erotic podcasts recorded with the intent of getting you off, and literotica has an entire subsection for audio. 

People are even starting to monetize on the phenomenon, including a recent app called Dipsea that hosts erotic audio stories catered to millennial women. "It’s perfect for storytelling, it’s intimate, and it’s incredibly imaginative," said Dipsea cofounder and CEO, Gina Gutierrez. "Listening to Dipsea you can feel like the voyeur, or you can become the character."

Even harder core history

I don't know when I first realized certain podcasts (always a solo host or narrator, so panel podcasters are safe) did it for me. But I remember the exact moment I discovered a voice could bring me to near orgasm, despite not having the words or understanding to know what was actually happening. 

I was watching the first Harry Potter movie in the theater, and Professor Severus Snape (played by the late, great Alan Rickman) was delivering his now iconic first year speech on the, "subtle science and exact art of potion-making." A mounting quiver ran down my spine when his tongue clung to each curve of every "s" sound in the phrase "ensnare the senses."

Snape later became the fictional man who guided me through my early sexual awakening, a fantasy that I could control through my imagination while losing myself to these newfound uncontrollable urges. A reoccurring scenario involved being blind-folded, leaving me in total sensory deprivation but for the sound of his silky voice, low and measured, describing everything he wanted to do to me.

Again, with sincerest apologies to Mr. Carlin, I was instantly brought back to those fantasies when I first started listening to Hardcore History.

The perfect boyfriend is the kind that stops talking when you press a button.

Image: vicky leta / mashable

It's not about what he's saying because, no, I do not get off to visceral descriptions of the greatest human atrocities ever recorded by man. Actually, for the process to work, the volume must be low enough for me to hear his impassioned teacherly intonations, but not so loud that I can't replace whatever he's talking about with what I actually want to hear instead. (In my defense, I do also go back and listen for the purpose of learning, too.)

To my relief, I found that I was't alone in having the hots for pods, but also that others are specifically attracted to the idea of a scholarly, silky voice teaching you things. 

"I have a huge crush on a guy who does a politics podcast I listen to a lot," said Girl on the Net, not wishing to call out a specific name (though notably, Dan Carlin also has a political podcast). "There’s something intensely hot about listening to someone more knowledgeable than me discuss a subject I’m interested in. Why else would so many people crush on teachers? You’re definitely not alone in this!"

NPR's podcasting hosts running away from our thirst.

Image: vicky leta / mashable 

That also tracks with the trend of an increasing amount of people identifying as sapiosexual (someone physically aroused by intelligence). Maybe our hankering for podcasters comes down to the fact that nerds are in. And there's no bigger concentration of nerds than in podcasts.

To be fair, those who know me know that there is little in this world I can't find a way to sexualize. To be fairer to me, though, there does seem to be an underlying sensuality — or at the very least admission to intense emotional relationships — in even the most platonic explanations of podcasting's appeal.

A very unsexy (but fascinating) New Yorker article called it a "peculiarly intimate medium," further noting that, "for a digital medium, podcasts are unusual in their commitment to a slow build, and to a sensual atmosphere." NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour podcaster Glen Weldon even admitted to his own discomfort and revery for the one-way intimacy in our relationships to podcasters, equating binge-listening to nothing short of falling in love. 

Perhaps nobody embodies the intense emotional connection podcasting can inspire more than the New York Times' Michael Barbaro. In a way, he feels like everybody's dream boyfriend: reliable, smart, useful, engaging, able to fit in your pocket — and you can turn him off whenever you've had enough of him.

The indisputable soft-spoken King of Podcasting, a New Yorker profile positively dripping with erotic subtext wrote that, "It’s hard to resist the empathetic vocables with which Barbaro punctuates his interviewees’ words," later describing this as a, "quasi-therapeutic aural hovering."

[INT. BAR — NIGHT] HER: so do you have a name ME: from The New York Times I'm Michael Barbaro

— Liam Weir (@liamrweir) July 31, 2017

What they're talking about is his tendency to interject emphatic, often prolonged hmms during interviews, to vocalize his engagement with what his guest is saying. It's such an endearing and recognizable quirk that it now have its own Twitter fan page, which Barbaro actually follows. 

Generally, he seems to be a man who accepts that this vocal tick touches on a particular nerve that people either love or hate. As another Twitter user begged, "Please please please do not stop the hmmmm!"

Not only seen, but heard

Despite its seeming perversion, though, the sexual attraction to podcasts and auditory erotica comes from a pretty wholesome place. 

I'm listening to the do not disturb podcast with @itsarifitz and I'm realizing, women with SEXY ASS VOICES ARE MY FUCKING TYPE. Help. Me. -L

— LauRapsody (@LauRapsody) May 8, 2017

In large part, it's about feeling like you know the person whispering into your ear like a lover. If the eyes are a window into the soul, then maybe the voice is like a sonic radar for the soul. There are so many human imperfections in your speech pattern, your personality embedded into every lilt, unspoken emotions communicated through each prolonged pause or sudden exclamation.

The best way to describe the vastly different experience between masturbating to visual rather than auditory porn is the difference between anonymous sex versus sex with a significant other.

Audio porn is also a more non-threatening outlet for masturbation, since the visual porn on tube sites often feels intimidatingly aggressive and catered only to heteronormative male desires. 

The visual medium in itself limits you to a more external masturbatory experience, as you shut off your brain and consume other people as sex objects. But as a medium closer to literary erotica (or often an aural version of it), audio invites you to imagine rather than tell you what to like. 

"Of all the audio I’ve made so far, the stuff that seems to get the strongest reaction is when it's framed as 'you.' Instead of 'I did this, he did that' it’s 'you did this to me,'” said Girl on the Net, pointing to this specific example. "Again, it’s focusing on the intimacy — making people feel like they’re a part of something. As if it’s happening to them in the moment."

SEE ALSO: Why notification sounds send you emotionally reeling into the past

Also, she said, "most of my sex stories are true, which I think gives them an immediacy and intimacy off the bat."

In essence, audio porn relies on a more direct relationship between you and what's bringing you to climax.

"All sorts of complicated questions go through your mind when you’re watching visual porn," said Gutierrez, the Dipsea cofounder. "Is she actually feeling pleasure? Is this ethically created? What creepy Airbnb is this happening in? You’re also removed from the action, and are distracted by the things that you don’t relate to — like other people’s (often unrealistic) bodies."

Press play with me

The aural has an innately human power over us all. Before there was video, before there was picture, before there was written word, we knew each other by sound. As a collective, we told our first stories through the oral tradition. As individuals, we were first introduced to other human beings by hearing our mother's voice from inside her belly.

Whisk us off to sleep, Podcasting Daddies.

Image: bob al greenE / mashable 

The common adage that the brain is the largest sexual organ is unmistakably at play in aural erotica. Yet unlike purely text-based erotica, the humanizing addition of another person's voice is one of the only ways to make masturbation feel less solitary. 

Aural erotica is the best of all worlds when it comes to spank bank material: more personal, inclusive, approachable, ethical, and exploratory than visual porn — yet also more sensorily engaging than just textual porn. 

Maybe you still think we're just a minority of weirdos. But in my humble opinion, I think maybe I'm just one of a few willing to admit in plain speak that we're all a little horny for Michael Barbaro's voice.

WATCH: Consent-oriented condom packaging says four hands are needed to open it, but then again – maybe not

610.

Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? >> I don’t know how “smart” the average person is supposed to be. I also don’t know how “smartness” is measured, or whether there even is a standardised method of measurement that isn’t positively fraught with issues. What I do know is that this shit really don’t fucking matter. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? >> I don’t do thorough research on anything. I just... read about stuff until I’m bored or tired. The only time I’d say I do actual research on something is if I’m writing a story, and I haven’t written a story that required research in a long time. What was the last thing to upset you? >> A situation that happened Inworld. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? >> We went to Meijer for groceries and quarters for the laundry machines. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? >> Not without fail. When I go out, I’ll often wear my trans flag bracelet on that wrist, but I don’t wear it constantly or anything.

What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself? >> Most of them, lmao. What is the latest you’ve stayed up for? Why? >> Er... I mean, I’ve stayed up for days at a time before. Because drugs. What gives you immense pleasure? >> Listening to a real good song at the perfect volume. What forces you out of your comfort zone? >> Most forms of socialisation.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? >> A thong. I’ve worn them in the distant past, when I thought that was... what I was supposed to do... or whatever. But I hate them with a passion and I never even want to be near one again. Has anyone ever said that you’re delusional? If so, what for? >> Definitely. You know, because my experiences don’t reflect their rigid worldview. That’s always the reason. Will you go outside today? >> We did go out today. I don’t think we will be going anywhere tomorrow. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? >> No? Happiness is its own thing, it comes and goes as it pleases. Trying to chase it doesn’t do any good. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? >> Everything is temporary. What is something you lie to yourself about? >> Hm. What has been the best job you’ve ever had? >> Manning merchandise tables for local bands. What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? >> Dia de los Muertos. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? >> Literally all of them, dude. Culture in general is endlessly interesting. What is something you judge about other people? >> The thoughtless words that come out of their mouths. What is something you do not want to discuss about? >> *shrug* Do you always follow the rules to a T? Why? >> No. Because I don’t see why I should always do anything. Do you consider yourself to be an artisan? >> No. Do you enjoy solving problems? >> Sure. Are you more books smart, street smart or random trivia smart? >> Street smart first, book smart second. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? >> All of the above. I learn best when I have all three. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? >> Meh. This spectrum isn’t useful to me. Are you socially anxious or awkward? >> No. Are you more detail oriented or mostly see the big picture? >> I think my perspective shifts depending on what I’m looking at. I think I do gravitate towards details, though. Would you ever take part in a TV quiz show? If so, which one? If not, why? >> No. Because it doesn’t interest me and I don’t want to be on television. I’d rather go to a casual trivia night at a bar or something. What do you consider to be childish? >> Expecting other people to be responsible for your emotions. It’s something you’d expect from children, whose emotional development is still happening, but adults are supposed to evolve past that. (As someone whose emotional development was pretty delayed, I understand that it doesn’t always happen this way. But I believe you do have a responsibility as an adult to try your best to catch up on what you’ve missed/been robbed of, and to be honest about those setbacks to the people in your circle.)