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redrum-alice · 18 hours

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ABA x Paracelsus HCs that live in my mind rent-free, even though I haven't played the game--

Some of these HCs include other characters involved in their arcade mode.

ABA is no stranger to stalking people. So when she came across a lookout point, she saw many couples, mostly teenagers, making out and going on romantic dates. She wonders what it would feel like to be young and in love, rather than just declaring someone whom she met first glance as a "husband"

ABA's collection of keys were hidden somewhere in the pocket dimension. She sometimes uses them as accessories to adorn herself, despite the like of knowledge in fashion (the girl wears pants as a top--)

There are many shades of blue that ABA can pick from. Since Paracelsus turned himself blue, the shiny surface reflected more colors than just blue, inspiring her to try and appreciate other colors near the blue gradient.

Added to the color stuff, she eventually tries variation of outfits with other colors, but with blue as the base.

Paracelsus knows when she's feeling fatigued. When she's at her limit, he opens the pocket dimension and lets her rest there until she wakes up. ABA sees this as his love language, but unintentional on his part

Both ABA and Paracelsus have no clue on how homonculi biology works, and Paracelsus hates to admit he feels bad that ABA may be at risk of getting herself hurt without him knowing what to do

Paracelsus wishes he knows more about human anatomy because its the closest one to ABA's physiology.

Since ABA is clairvoyant, she often hears the spirits of their victims which she tries to ignore, and probably because she doesnt know the correct response to a wailing dead person wanting justice. When its too much, she asks Paracelsus if what theyre doing was justified and that she begins to regret her rage filled jealousy directed at those that dont even bother them.

Paracelsus keeps telling ABA that she needn't to worry because it was a necessity for the both of them-- something he deeply regrets to say because he knows she has strong principles that she live by despite not being a human

Paracelsus, deep down, is ashamed of himself for tainting ABA for the purpose of tending to his bloodlust. He saw how genuine and pure hearted she is, but it turned into malice because of his demonic origin. He begins to wonder what ABA would be like if she found someone else years ago.

Just like ABA, Paracelsus has an unspoken fear of abandonment, but since he lacks capacity to feel other emotions, he doesnt notice this.

Ever since Elphelt and Testament approached her with good intentions, ABA wanted to make more friends like them, but is scared that others have ill intentions toward her and Paracelsus.

ABA's favorite book would be Alice in Wonderland when she was still in Frasco, specifically the part where Alice was trapped in a room or multiple doors with the smallest door being the exit. ABA admires this because of the concept of escaping, especially that there's a key involved. (Im biased bc my name's Alice and i like this story--)

Besides door keys, she also collects windup key and smaller keys for chests and compartments. She sees this as a symbol for discovering new things, especially music when she came across a music box that needed a key

Speaking of music boxes, she associates this object with Elphelt bc of her musical talent (and that she may as well look like the ballerina spinning on the music box)

Other than doors, music boxes, and compartments, she also came across a small doll that needed a key. After she winds it up, it began walking and talking towards her and freaks her out. But when it said "mama" in a robotic voice, ABA contemplates and wonders if she was ready to become a parent somewhere in the near future when Paracelsus has a body. An impossible thought, but one could never be sure, and it scares her.

Butterfly Pea tea with brown sugar, or sparkling butterfly pea lemonade with honey would probably her favorite drink because of its color. She shares this with her hubby 🥰😋

There comes a time that her bandanges would get uncomfortable and smell bad from blood stains and wounds, so Paracelsus tells her she needs to change them before she gets an infection. He does stop her midway because he realizes she isnt wearing any undergarments and proceeds to take her in the pocket dimension.

Elphelt offers ABA to shop with her to pick clothes suited for her. The first thing she sees at the boutique display was a wedding dress and begins to day dream a wedding with Paracelsus. Without her looking, Elphelt happily buys the wedding dress with matching tuxedo and gives it to ABA, despite Paracelsus' protests (the fact that he hears them chatting about setting up the wedding next day had him ded on the spot :P)

ABA watches home video tapes left in houses unoccupied by their owners (abandoned or they went on vacation; ABA is a home intruder lol). She finds a tape labeled "Happy Day" and it plays a recording of a newly wed couple dancing at their reception. The way the couple moved gracefully tickled an idea in her brain and insisted she and Paracelsus should dance. But since the large key doesnt have any legs, her attempts in waltzing with him went nowhere 😅 (and this gave more reason for ABA to find a body for Paracelsus)

At late nights when ABA is asleep, Paracelsus wonders that if he had a body, would ABA still be shorter or they would be in the same height? Either way, he was impressed that she can keep herself up with that low weight despite her tall stature, more so on how she was able to carry him around without much muscle mass.

When he sleeps beside her, her hair unwittingly falls on his bow and feels how soft it is. A very pleasant feeling he won't admit.

Everyday, Paracelsus keeps reminding ABA that she needed to eat to gather strength. ABA often forgets to eat because its not hard wired in hr system, nor that it was even natural for her to eat in the first place.

#aba and paracelsus headcanons #aba & paracelsus #aba x paracelsus #aba guilty gear #a.b.a x paracelsus #paracelsus guilty gear #paracelsus #guilty gear strive #a.b.a guilty gear #guilty gear

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oh-allie · 2 days

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shakespeare and swooning

alhaitham x g/n reader

synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?

fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, prick alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind

warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)

you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.

multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.

is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..

... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.

you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!

you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.

why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?

"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.

"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"

"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.

"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"

you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.

"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."

"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.

he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.

"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."

"what"

HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??

"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.

"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.

"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?

"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....

"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"

"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.

he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.

and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.

or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.

"... you called me unpregnant."

a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)

#al haitam x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #DONT LET THIS FLOP GANG IM PUTTING A LOT ON THE LINE POSTING GENSHIN FICS #shakespeare made up the word unpregnant #GUYS PLZPLZOLZ LIKE AND REBLOG SO I CAN SAY it popped off!!#WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHY I POSTED A GENSHIN FIC....#genshin x you #genshin impact x you #al haitham #al haitham x you #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x y/n #al haitham x y/n #alhaitham x gender neutral reader #al haitham x gender neutral reader #was listening 2 when will my life begin when writing 😇#alhiayham is my fancast for rapunzel !!!!#i started writing this in november of 2023 😇#allies fics #crackfic #crack fic #wait guys hear me out #crackship layla x alhaitham #IS LAYLA A MINOR WAIT #if she isnt then WOOOOWWWW CUTIE..!!!!#its cute

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blood-choke · 6 months

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hi! i have a question, but before that i just wanted to thank you for giving such amazing sapphic rep in both of your games. as someone who's sapphic (Im a bi girlie) I'm always a little bit disappointed when the female sapphic characters are given not as much thought even when it comes to both female gender locked ros and the female/nb counterparts of gender selectable characters in comparison to the male characters/male counterparts of gender selectable characters in other ifs. i absolutely adore both of your games and the fact that you take such great care with each of the characters' identities, even if they share the same sexuality or gender, they express their gender and sexuality in different ways and i also love the stud rep with hana. And I love that your gender selectable ros in tnp present in a similar way regardless of gender, yet there are still differences in the way that they express it or experience it. my first language isn't English so if i get any terminology wrong please lmk. ❤️

as for my question I was wondering what your thoughts were regarding sapphic ros in IF. do you think gender selectability could be used in a better way to explore a characters' identity in some circumstances. i am curious as to what you think regarding gender locked and gender selectability especially regarding to female/nb ros. i always love to hear your thoughts on different topic so i thought i would ask. ❤️❤️

thank you so much! 💗 now, get ready for a really long-winded response!

honestly, my opinion on genderselectable ROs tends to fluctuate. it's kinda a love/hate relationship, hahaha. there are a lot of games that i think do a fine job handling it, and overall i prefer having the option as a lesbian because typically we don't… get sapphic/gay female characters… like, at all.

now for my controversial opinion: i don't really think most of these female genderselectable characters are actually sapphic. they're just playersexual. and this goes for the opposite, as well, for the male versions. they're not gay or bi they're just playersexual. genderselectable characters can only work if the author is willing to make an effort & flesh out both/all versions of a character as well as acknowledge their sexuality. if one version of the character is meant to be a bisexual woman, then you should be writing her as a bisexual woman. unfortunately i'm sad to say i've seen more than one author publicly admit that this is "too much work," but i suppose i can commend them for being honest about it…

it's been interesting to see this kind of stuff in the IF tag recently. for a while it seemed like we were actually moving more towards favoring genderlocked characters, with set sexualities, and then suddenly it feels like we've ended up in a worse spot than we used to be. i see some really egregious gender essentialism with some genderselectable ROs, down to even their sense of fashion and tattoos changing so the female version can be more feminine and dainty. it's very bizarre, and i really, really do not like it.

i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing for selectable characters to be different. it makes sense in some cases, like if you had a character that was gender nonconforming in all variations. it would make sense that their clothes would be different and their experiences would be different. i even think it can be interesting to explore how certain characters are affected differently by society because of their gender. if you had a character like Lea that existed in a misogynistic society like ours, their experience as a butch would be very different from their experience as a masculine trans man or androgynous nb person… and they would also share a lot of similar experiences, too! but this is not what i usually see. it's usually just… woman: wears pink, is shorter and skinnier, has long hair. man: wears blue, is big and muscular, has short hair. nonbinary (if there even is a nb variation): thin and androgynous artbreeder mashup of the other two. and then in every other aspect they are the same. unfortunately, that's as far as some authors are willing to take it. the rare times i do see someone add in differences it's always just the female version experiencing some form of misogyny that her male counterpart does not, with very little elaboration or reflection.

i don't really think i need to explain why that kind of characterization is a problem.

i do think there is a lot of potential with the gender selection mechanic. i've tried to do something interesting with Lea, and i like to think i've been successful with it. but in my honest opinion, if you want to write a story about gay and/or sapphic characters, you should just genderlock them. for one, the IF audience at large is always going to favor the male version of your character. that is just a fact. if your only female or nb characters are selectable, they will be erased by the wider IF audience. i know this sounds kind of cynical, but this is my honest opinion & my experience as someone who has been involved in this community for almost four years now.

i think if you are someone who is setting out with the intention of writing a sapphic RO, you are doing them a disservice by making them genderselectable. just genderlock them! you may get people that complain, but they can suck it up or go play something else. and i don't think i need to tell you this but just to be clear, genderlocking gay or trans characters is not the same as a game with an all straight or all cis cast. it just simply is not. cis, straight, & white people are already considered the "default." most games already cater to this demographic. it is not the same to genderlock or even lock your characters race or ethnicity to something other than cis, straight, or white. cis, straight, white people are not a minority. you are not underrepresented. there are millions of games out there for you to play. & it's irritating when people pretend like someone getting upset at the exclusion of gay people (or any other minority, for that matter) from a game is somehow comparable to another game "excluding" straight people (or white people, or cis people). arguing this is just blatantly ignoring the reality of our misogynistic, racist, homophobic & transphobic society. again, straight people are not underrepresented. you are automatically included in almost everything except the gay media that gay people create themselves.

gay women especially are repeatedly left out of IF. unless you want to go read yuri VNs (which, no offense, but little anime girls are entirely sexless to me. i do not feel represented by feminine, bug-eyed little anime girls) you're pretty much shit out of luck. there are very few lesbian ROs out there, fewer gnc women, almost no butches and definitely no studs that i've seen in this specific tumblr/cog IF space.

so all of this to say, if you do really want to make your characters genderselectable, then just take your time with it. really think about how their gender may change their experiences within the world of your game. does it change anything at all? maybe not. there does not need to be a drastic difference at all if it's not applicable. don't loop back around into gender essentialism. but you should still think about it, and consider what the gender selectable mechanic can offer as a narrative and characterization tool.

what is my plan for this character? what am i trying to accomplish with them and their story? does making them genderselectable add to that narrative or does it hinder it? how can i explore the potential differences between these versions of this character without falling into and reinforcing harmful stereotypes? how does their sexuality impact their experience? i think these are some of the questions authors should ask themselves when deciding if they want to make their characters genderselectable.

#it's so hard to talk about it bc i DO like the gender selection mechanic #but i dislike the way its typically used #a lot of people just use it for brownie points/to catch a wider audience #but then dont put in any work to actually earn those brownie points or keep that audience #and to be completely frank i just don't respect that mindset #if someone is going to make their characters genderselectable and claim theyre all bisexual then i want to fucking see it on the page #not just in asks on their blog #not just in the lamest way possible where this RO is a girl now cus she has long hair and is feminine and uses she/her #no i want her to be a bisexual woman!!! i want to SEE that in the text #and if that's 'too much work' then just dont bother #genderlock them one way or the other #anyways. sorry i have a lot of opinions about this LOL #ask #anonymous

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courfee · 4 months

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yes i used that dean scene as a reference, sue me

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boarcide · 5 months

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There is something so good about Akutagawa--a very much feared, boogeyman like figure (even amongst his own men) in Yokohama because of his violence, bloodlust, and steadfast loyalty to a violent criminal organization such as the Port Mafia--given biblical angel symbolism

I don't know, something something about someone whose beauty is so incomprehensible and terrifying to most. He's not physically ugly, he's not--he's beautiful, the type of beautiful that almost feel as if he's not a real person, like he's a mirage, or a painting. But he's beautiful not like those renaissance cherubs and lovely looking maidens for angels, but more like the biblical angels with their beauty beyond mortal grasp, the beauty that brings fear and revulsion towards whoever sees them because they cannot comprehend it. Coming across him makes you understand why angels say, "Be not afraid" when they reveal themselves to mortals. An incomprehensible beauty that very few can keep looking at. A dangerous feat, literally and metaphorically.

(This isn't only with his physical appearance either--for someone who is constantly beaten down both by canon and by the fandom for being "simple", he is a terrifying bundle of different aspects that contradict each other. Like a super machine you open up and you see the intricate criss crossing of wires and bolts that hold it together. He's a mess of nerves and feelings and experiences so profound, so horrific, that you don't know where to start with him. To uncoil him and see him truly bare is almost impossible. Where does he end and the roots that connect him to the earth begin?)

Something about Akutagawa being an angel, a being created entirely to follow the will of "God", obey their every word. Unwavering loyalty to their master while singing praise. Acting entirely on the order of their master--wing always dipped in blood for his sake. A weapon of "heaven' that brings destruction to those who oppose "God" and be one of the many upon which "God" rests upon.

(Almost everything Akutagawa does is for the sake of the Port Mafia, taking orders from the "master" (boss) himself. Willingness and obedience and loyalty repeatedly exploited and used, everything he has done as one of the high ranking leaders handling most of the Mafia's dirty work playing a part so Mori's throne stays high.)

Something about comparing Akutagawa to a certain archangel, finding repulsion in "God"'s cherished creation, the inferiority that came with being "less" to "mankind", and the painful fall from grace to the deepest pits of despair when he confronts the being that created him, molded him, and then condemn him. And to his humiliation, mankind, for centuries, condemns him too.

(He can't be compared to Lucifer, God's most beloved angel. Maybe Dazai did value him, but it doesn't matter, does it? because the difference between the two is that one was cherished and one never was. However, you can compare the rage and humiliation Akutagawa felt towards Atsushi--for obtaining Dazai's approval and affection with no effort, no proper control over his skill or any seemingly differentiating quality-- to Lucifer's refusal to bow down to humanity--a creation inherently imperfect and lackluster, with not the qualities of angels. And as a result? Disgraced. Both by the creator and by ones that held their creator's favor. )

Something about Akutagawa being an angel--someone whose presence means nothing pleasant to those he appears before. A reaper of sorts, responsible for taking life and for souls to see the afterlife (killing both as an order and an act of mercy, for he despises torture and meaningless suffering). A guardian angel watching over "mankind" from afar, where he is not aware and saving him from certain death at his own expense.

There's just something so appealing about depicting Akutagawa--a fearsome, ruthless, and bloodthirsty mafioso, a boogeyman to his own men--as an angel, be it of death, of mercy, a destroying angel-- whatever anyone wants to see him as and use him for.

#ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #character analysis #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #this post was brought to you by delulu gang #I just love akutagawa I love how despite how monstrous his actions are he looks almost angelic while doing it #maybe not angelic is the conventional sense but what is an angelic abomination if not an angel #ive said he's beautiful the way a spider is beautiful and its true #its much more accurate in a sense: he's all long limbs #cloaked in black #eyes too big and eerie #and many people don't like him the way they dont like spiders. the way people harm and attack or straight up avoid him #he's like a spider that had been crushed under the sole of your heels until he pops #but he is equally an angelic beauty; equally as divine as he is grotesque and horrifying #he is ultimately incomprehensible to most people. those who don't bother to look deeper at him #Even those who do “know” him do not know his heart. Dazai may know what he wants and how he works but he does not know his heart #anyways good morning America

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lucydoodlessometimes · 2 months

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Down the rabbit hole we go!

I know what I said about the rest of the Lunar chronicles art, but have you considered: I wanted to rewrite Miraculous Ladybug to my tastes instead?? so here. have bunny miraculous felix, or better known as Lapin Blanc.

#lucy doodles #my art #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #miraculous au #felix graham de vanily #felix fathom #miraculous ladybug fanart #I havent watched this show in years but i love love love the fandom #and i love some of the ideas it presents #i just dont like watching the show lmao #the animation style bothers me and i cant get into the writing #or a surprising amount of the voice acting #basically the whole show #which makes me sad bc the fanbase is SO talented and i want to love what they love too #but i digress. id like to note that my rewrite/design goes much farther than felix over here. hes just who i made art for #he had hobbies other than espionage now. namely he gardens and he does pottery #hence the porcelain motif in the fit #yeah. its late and im on the verge of a breakdown so mwah i love you please be nice to my boy i worked hard on him

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sheepalmighty · 11 months

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A comic for my incredibly self-indulgent AU: Chai joins Vandelay for half a day.

Click for less blur

The rest of this dumb joke comic is under the read more

It was in his robot arm

#hi-fi rush #hi fi rush #hfr #hi-fi rush spoilers #kale vandelay #hi fi rush korsica #hi fi rush chai #kale x chai #mainly for the following comment #'I want that defect!' you sure do kale you sure do #i didnt put much thought into the outfit except that chai is disappointed that there isnt any spare sleeve to rip up for his robot arm #i think the least plausible thing in this au is that chai was convinced to do a coffee run #he's bigger than that #i havent bothered making neat looking speech bubbles and text in a long time so hope they dont distract too much #if you've been around my blog for a while you'll see all the two conventions i keep using in my previous works #but i just wanted to draw something fun #im wondering if the many panels images are able to be zoomed into easily? i cant tell with how tumbls is nowadays #'tis mine #im not doing this again my eyes are super tired

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 month

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due to things lining up Horribly, no stream this weekend! and maybe not the next, either!

#i got too much shit happening this weekend </3 #and then i might not have the next off... i still havent gotten my schedule!#i got a sticky note for two days and thats It so far!#oh man im sorry about the lack of Update posts too #im. so tired.#i have No spoons like... at all....#i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a decade but! cant!#i have a 9 hour shift to do again! and again! and again! and again. and again. and again. and again. and agai-#absolutely unprompted #yk i thought having Limited free time would give me motivation to do things i want to #nahhhh its just making me Sad lmao #my brain before: we have all the time in the world so we can do it later #my brain now: we have no time at all so why bother #man. i dont want to get into a groove and then have to either cut it off or be prematurely Exhausted at work.#by the end of the day i already feel dead... cant feel dead at the start or i wont make it...#wow look at me complaining. its been Two Days.#gonna bring a sketchbook so that i can at least doodle during my breaks + lunch #brush up on my traditional skills....

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luimagines · 2 months

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I think I can speak for almost all of us when I say if you need to take a break from this blog to focus on yourself and your family please do so you are so important to us and we would rather you be gone for a little while versus you spreading yourself to thin and breaking down to the point you give up but know that those of us that care we are behind you 100%

Thank you. :)

I'm going to be ok. For the most part I think I'm just tired of repetitively having to pick up the slack.

I don't think I would be as frustrated if I knew I wasn't the only one doing stuff. But as it stands, it all kinda falls to me.

#pinky replies #my mother does her part for sure #she works for the house and pays all the bills #but now she is sick #my brother is working on getting his stuff together so i dont wanna dunk on him too much #he just needs a little more nudging and a little more work on his anxiety #but my sister #goodness #it annoys me to no end #that i am the default to do what she suddenly can't be bothered to do #-.-

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puppyeared · 3 months

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adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

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xannerz · 3 months

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its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.

i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.

ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.

#centaurworld #centaurworld critical #<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol #ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too #dont mind me rambling #but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since.#debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity #even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk #ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me.#bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO #but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and #when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?'#also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked #theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao #im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO #also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good #but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see.#and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has!#xangoeswah

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milkweedman · 9 months

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I am sorry you've been harrassed by terfs, but the way you are currently trying to weed them out seems a bit misguided. As in, the vast majority of terfs are in fact ok with big hairy CIS men. The so-called men they are actively hating are trans women/transfem people. So by acting like you proclaiming your love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant you seem to be missing the point at best.

i'd love to actually respond to your concerns or whatever the hell it was that you were trying to convey with this ask, but it has almost no basis in reality so i literally cant.

thats the one statement on how effective i think the banners are that has left my queue so far. which is: i hope it works but also have literally 2 other backup plans already in case it does not. i dont know why youre calling that "acting like [me] proclaiming [my] love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant", because thats wildly off target from what i have actually said at any point. everything else youve said is also pretty much either dead wrong or ignorant, so im getting the feeling that you not reading has been a problem for a while.

(ive also not mentioned terfs this entire time--ive been talking about radfems and using the word radfems. they're not the same thing although there's large overlap. so like. thats strike two for zero reading comprehension, buddy. cause you are literally not talking about the group im talking about and youre also inventing whole new sentences that i didnt say.)

#obviously reading ability does not equal intelligence. more about the wild overconfidence of someone who didnt bother to check if they #even read a statement correctly #i misread things all the time which is why i also dont barge into strangers inboxes to insult THEIR intelligence #because i know theres always a chance im completely wrong and i dont want to be an asshole #anon you could give that a try #like what am i even supposed to say to this ? i dont think its the best terf repellant and have never said that ?#but if you know so much about them go ahead and tell us your suggestions for how to get rid of them #im skeptical that they will make any sense at all but im always open to new ideas #(feels nice to be condescended to doesnt it ? i assume thats why you were condescending to me so im returning the favor <3)#anyway other than this fool thank you all for the supportive asks im glad youre enjoying the banners ! so am i :D #way too soon to tell if theyre working (no radfems yet but i usually get a wave of them every couple months so i wont jump to conclusions)#but just as blog decor theyre already great #there are many many asks though and i dont enjoy when this blog is less fiber craft than other stuff #so im reading each one and appreciating them but please dont be upset that im not responding to them or posting them #i have the first 2 i got in my queue and then i got like 20 more so

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grimsdeadb0nes · 1 year

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meemaw dancies for mama's day

really quick really really messy mothers day doodle zenyx's mama is sadly no more and Zursie's son (zenyx's dad) is a recluse; to fill the sad gap, at least Zursie has her granbby and Zenyx has her meemaw they can shower each other w/ love and appreciation instead 💞

#my art #my oc #my ocs #zeti oc #zeti #zursie #zenyx #bone rattling #zursie is v protective and proud of her granbby #and zenyx is very excited and in awe of her lively lovely meemaw- looks up to her very much #very very happy to have family-family still- and someone so much like zursie herself no less #even more protective too bc zenyx is an offcolor which is a big no no (can't be seen/discovered) and it makes them both nervous #no i didnt forget zursie's staff i just didnt feel like trying to fit it in here #on the same canvas i also started doodling mama concepts for some of the six (only 2 so far)#but since they're just concepts and could use work still i dont wanna bother posting them yet

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skunkes · 5 months

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If you were truly an abandoned project like you say. You wouldn't care so much. Even in your comic you mention you being worse for "the next person" you already are thinking of another person. That's not a bad thing. You're young. And by God you have some fire in you. I hope you become happier with yourself. I hope good things happen to you and the people around you will cheer for it. -💛🦭

thank u... im actually flopping between it rn... though i know i dont have the actual power to decide to be done with it, bc life is full of unexpected events, and i am young, but my line of thinking was, well because it would be so much more of a hassle for a next person, its best to just remove that hassle from the "market" completely lol...

but its out of my hands in either direction. i already wasnt expecting much as just the one time was such a rarity. now its just made the whole ordeal much much more difficult for all parties...aroo...anyway thanks again

#skunk mail #Anonymous #ykwim...i keep wanting to make ''good luck getting in now !'' jokes but they dont work #because well who's even going to bother. took long enough the first time #and also because what a gross thing to say and assume. that anybody would deal with me. ykwim...#and FINALLY because even despite being so sucks ive come out of this even more unrealistically picky despite already #having severely limited options. like ok man have fun with that.#best to just continue to isolate until i can fix myself which has been set back a LOT after recent events #this isnt fantasy romance nobody is going to be patient with me. i have to do it alone and the work will never be done. so...why bother #hope tht makes sense...!#i keep climbing out of the pit and convincing myself i do deserve it! i am kind i am loving im so good at loving #but i fall back into it bc the issues outweigh all of it. all of it. too much bad in me

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whumpshaped · 1 year

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cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)

#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents #i did it #then i was diagnosed w the same shit #that was my turning point i think #when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate #i dont go out of my way to be mean #at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited #and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is #i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns #way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second #'these stereotypes dont come from nothing'#no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH #but let me tell u smth #most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does.#u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people #plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that #look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore #bc we're just ppl too #and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us #cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser #bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil #and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone #maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'

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charmac · 5 months

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PLEASEE POST A NEW CHAPTER OF THE SUGAR DADDY FIC I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES 😭😭😭😭😭

Updating All These Nights tonight and then Sugar is next to be updated, promise promise.

#ask #sugar daddy fic #i have been in a writing rut that is known #so i needed to work out some more canon stuff to get the voices back yk? hence updating the other fic first #but also i still feel like the last chapter fell off hard cos i got like no comments #which i know is like 'who cares' but i think i majority switched the style (like for myself) last chapter and i really like it but #if people didnt respond to it #im a little stumped on where to go #(again not in the story but style-wise)#people do not respond to long chapters? people dont respond to the dennis chapters? too much time wasted on sex? idk im #yeah like just a little lost on what people enjoy in the story and what i should gut/cut down on i guess #cos last chapter is hands down my favourite ive written #content wise its close to 6..#but style-wise i know its so fucking long but i thought it flowed really well and god i love exploring dennis' weird relationship with sex #but to me like only 4 people finished that chapter #to clarify. in my head there are literally only max 10 people who read this thing #and 2 of them are my random friends who arent in this fandom and just want to read what im writing #and neither of them bothered with a 27k chapter.. lol #so im stumped trying to pace the writing and rework how i thought it would go #cos i dont know what people enjoy in the fic!!! and seemingly did not respond to in what i thought was the best chapter so far.. lmfao #sorry you caught me on 30hrs awake and way too much coffee

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