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keepthetension · 4 months

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still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

#last twilight the series #i know this is a “trustworthy” director. and i will happily eat my words! but #it's always bothered me when couples fall into this pattern of ONE person doing the bulk of the supporting and caring and accommodating #and i am HOPING WISHING PRAYING this show doesn't do the same you know?#also like the imbalance makes sense if they're only caretaker and client of course! i'm just SO curious how this will be addressed #thinking a lot lately about characters society puts into a certain box because social status or because they're Manly or Tough or some shit #and there isn't a space for them to be soft and goofy and playful and tender. and people assume they don't need to be cared for #ten from cooking crush and babe from pit babe and top from only friends. for example.#and “there's zero tenderness in you” mhok #and i desperately want to see these characters get to be more than they're “allowed” to be #patriarchy is a curse #oh also i suspect mhok's “healing journey” will come to a head once he buys the car or whatever ends up happening there #ALSO GOD how many people would move the fuck out of that house afterward IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO #and maybe it doesn't feel like this for mhok and porjai but living in the same place afterward can be intensely suffocating #but they can't just move and start over like moneyed individuals might be able to!#recovery and healing simply looks different for the rich #anyway next ep will probably foreground mhok caring for day. and there are not many eps left!! i am wary but still fairly optimistic

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lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom · 22 days

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Saw your requests are open and thought I’d stop by! How about an Echo x Reader with a bit of angst about Tech’s death??? Thanks!

One Day

Echo x Reader

Summary- Echo is, understandably, not taking Techs death well. Comfort ensues!

A/N- Thank you for requesting, hun! Echo is SO underrated, I love my little half-human <3.

Word Count- 801

Echo looked mournfully to the seat next to him. The Pilot seat sat empty. To Echo it would forever be empty. For, the man who filled it was dead. Dead and never to come back.

The thought sunk Echo's stomach. Sitting alone in the cock-pit, just his thoughts to keep him company. The negative and destructive thoughts. He had considered revenge, but what would that solve? It wouldn't bring his brother back...

The only thing he could do is swear to not let the Empire get what he loved. At least not again. He now thought of you. How losing you scared him.

He gave a small sniffle, one he hoped no one heard. He tried to be strong, the rock you could count on.

Just as he choked down a sob, you entered.

"Echo..."

He couldn't face you. Knowing he would break down if he did, settling for a 'Hmm?'

"It will be okay. One day, it will be." You tried to place a hand on his upper arm, stepping closer to him.

Your heart thumped loud in your ears, especially when he shrugged your hand off.

"It will never be the same." He managed to speak, his words wavering.

"Poor thing..." Instead of trying to touch him again, you moved to his front. Forcing him to look at you, his eyes filled with tears.

"I wish I could make your pain disappear." He just stared, now at the floor.

You sighed, while you were grieving yourself- Echo was much closer to Tech. He had known him longer than you.

"He was your brother, no one can take that away." You built the courage back up to rest a more gentle hand on his knee. This time he let you keep it there.

"I am so sorry, Echo." You couldn't imagine what he was feeling. "You've lost so many... What can I do?"

He swallowed hard, "So many clones- brothers have given their lives up for the Empire, for the Jedi, for-" He let out a small sob, immediately covering his face with his hand.

"I know, I know." You stood up, cradling his head to your stomach. You rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. "Shhh."

He started to mumble, muffled by your body, "Tech died for us. Not some Empire." Tech died... That was the first time he had said it out loud. Another sob overtook him.

You just held him tight, praying he would feel better.

"He was very brave. Very, very strong." You praised Tech's name. Echos head slightly moved up and down, nodding in agreement.

He gave a sharp inhale, leaning back. You quickly wiped his stray tears away with your sleeve.

"He's gone, forever." Echo plainly stated. This time he didn't cry, simply void of emotions.

"But he's not. We will always remember him. Always carry on his legacy. His sacrifice will not be in vain. We will make sure of that..." You rested a hand on his cheek, moving back and forth over his cheekbones. Your thumb occasionally smearing an extra tear.

"It won't be today. It won't be tomorrow, but one day. One day it won't hurt so bad. I promise..." You spoke softly, knowing he was in a vulnerable space.

A slow kiss to his lips showed him you were there for him. With closed eyes he spoke, "Thank you."

"We have to try and be half as brave as Tech was. Clones will soon have freedom. Freedom to do whatever they like, not listening to orders." He met your eyes, a little more hopeful this time.

"They could settle down, find a cozy planet. One where war and fighting won't follow them. Even have a few baby clones if they want... Ones named after their dads brothers-in-arms..." You bit the bottom of your lip, a little scared for his reaction.

"Is that something a clone like yourself would want? Away from death, away from sacrifice." You lifted your other hand to fully cup his face.

"I can't leave-"

"No, no, baby. After it all. After it doesn't hurt so bad..." All he could respond with was a lasting nod.

He so desperately wanted all the fighting to be over. He'd sacrifice himself if it meant no more of his brothers died.

You cradled his head once more when he started to sob again. Simply holding him, whispering comforting words to him.

"Yes, yes." He repeated, you just held him tight.

"Hey, look at me." You slightly pulled back.

He looked up at you, doe eyed. "You will get through this, I promise."

He responded with a sniff, he was unconvinced. Though, one day It would be okay. You'd end up naming your first child Tech, in honor of the man. Your second Fives.

"I love you."

"I love you too..."

A/N- Thank you so much for reading! I fear this wasn't my best work </3. I LOVE Echo, he needs more attention, and the prompt was so angsty!! I hope I did it justice, let me know if there is any way I can improve!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @dangraccoon @knight-of-flowerss

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reilkk · 1 year

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”I left while loving you. ”

Ayato x fem reader

Genre : angst

Excuse my grammar😭

"Ayato!" The girl called him while walking towards him. I mean she knew he was busy thats why she planned to make freshed brownies for him.

She opens the door to his office and he just gives her a glance before going back to work.

The girl smiles before saying "I know you were busy so I made some brownies for you! "

"Thank you (name), Just put it on my desk" the boy added which the girl did

And added another "I hope you like it it was my grandmas recipe" she smiled

"Are you free later? " she asked and the boy replied with "No I'm not I have alot of paperworks to do. "

The girl nodded " how about tomorrow? " she asked.

"I'm really not sure love. "

Oh.

God that sweet word that had her coming back to him.

Love.

It was quite confusing how he would never talk to her for days and call her that, how he called her such endearing nicknames but never really made the effort or even the tone of his voice sound nice, how he didn't even plan on doing or saying something that sounds or acts like genuine love.

One that doesn't feel forced.

"I'm really busy here do you need anything? " he said which the girl replied with "no, no I'll just leave. "

He just nodded and the girl made her way through the door

how sweet.

Tomorrow passed and the girl came back to his office

"Ayato... Are you busy? " the girl asked wishing he wasn't.

But oh it was obvious he was. With the papers scrambled on his table, but she wished she prayed there would be one chance you weren't and was just finishing

But felt disappointed at the boys reply.

"I really am love I'm sorry."

Fool. Why would you think he wasn't I mean you knew what would happen if you loved such busy man.

You knew it wasn't his fault but the way your heart reacts hurts

None was his fault. You thought

Few hours gone by and you found yourself in a beautiful place.

Full of flowers. And the gold hour made no exceptions

It was sure pretty.

You were walking around when you found a couple there, kissing and laughing around

There was a cloth where they sat below and a basket of foods which you guess they were in a picnic, it was cute really really cute.

But you just can't help but feel so jealous. How they held hands, and talked

God how you wished you and Ayato could be in that position someday.

No problema to think of.

Just love.

But you were a delusional one weren't you?

It really seems impossible with the amount of work he was doing. You tried to tell him to take a break but he just never can't. You were worried but he just brushed it as overreacting.

You wished he would look at you the same way the boy looked at the girl.

Full of love. No spaces for regret

But how?, you really tried this time didn't you?

It seems you guys were just never meant to be.

This happened since you guys dated.

1 year and 3 months.

You hoped for another choice, but what other choice?

No matter how much you loved him he just could never show it back.

You tried to fix it but how? You can never handle a relationship if one doesn't try right?

Everyday in your shared home you waited for him to atleast join you for dinner. But he never could

You would fall asleep no matter how how hard you tried to stay awake because you wanted to welcome him.

But the same thing happens everyday you eat dinner without him. And eat breakfast without him

Its a cycle that could never stop

So you thought why be in a relationship when he didn't love you at all?

You felt sad, broken and guilty, after all you loved him so much, you just couldn't handle his ignorance

You couldn't handle facing him while saying everything you wanted to.

So you did what you wanted.

You left a note. You took all your things and left the house.

With nothing but a note.

Imagine his confusion when he came to your shared bedroom and found you were nowhere to be seen?

He looked for you everywhere. But once he checked the closet he saw a note.

He sat on the bed and read it.

Dear Ayato.

If you found this note please read it.

There has to been times when I would crave and beg for your attention but you just could never seem to give it. I know your busy and its not your fault but mine. I really missed you, because the times you missed dinner with me, the times you cancelled our plans because you were busy, I hope you really knew I felt broken. And now I realised I could never be more important then your work, I was never your priority but a person to come home too, never the love of your life but rather a person who cooks meals and sweets for you, nothing more to than a person who says I love you, I really love you Ayato but I think it should be better if we split apart. I'm sorry I couldn't say this infront of you. Face to face. I was just afraid I would ruin my words and go back to you, I was scared I would cry infront of you. I love you Ayato more then you know. But I sometimes stare at the ceiling of our room and wonder if you ever did love me. So I'm writing this to you

We're over Ayato. I have left our home before you came back

-Your beloved (name).

It has been months after you left him with nothing but a letter, you sometimes wonder if he cried himself to sleep that night, or if he even looked for you. You knew he did none if that. But oh were you wrong

You didn't witness Ayato panicking and looking for you all around inazuma.

You didn't see him falling to his knees realizing you were nowwheree to be found.

You didn't see him screaming at his workers to find where you are

You didn't see him buy your favorite teddy bear because you took it with you

You didn't see him put your picture in his desk.

You didn't see him cry to himself to sleep

Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he didn't take the extra work

Would he be able to convince you to come back too him?

He loved you, he really did.

But god he was afraid of showing it

You loved him too so much you forgot about your own health.

And now did he realize that if only he treasured every moment with you.

And now Did you realize that you didn't really move on from him, that he was the only one you loved

But how can you do that? He doesn't even care about you, you thought

He wanted to find you and kiss you one last time. How?, you probably hate him from now on.

But he never realized that you never fell out of love.

Just because you left doesn't mean you lost any feelings for him.

SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR BYE

#aot #genshin fanfic #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin x you #ayato #ayato x reader #ayato angst

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ashwhowrites · 1 year

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Back with more Fletcher!

( I have around 11 fics in my drafts right now and most are requests so I promise I am writing them. I just want to make sure you guys are getting my best work so I can only write them when I feel motivated. Thank you so much for your patience. Here's an angst fic to hopefully hold you over!)

Master-list

It's like, being on the outside of an inside joke

It's like, when they only got Pepsi and you really want Coke

It's like, finally get a text back and it's just your mom

It's like, when you just broke up and they play your song

… I know I said it's kinda stupid

But it's just the way I'm feeling right now

And I hate that I can tell that someone's probably in my shoes

By now, right now

Y/N hated the fact that whenever her phone went off, she prayed it was him. only to feel the sting of bitterness when it was just her mom.

She hated it even more when she sat at a bar, trying to move on with the cute guy next to her, and their old song played. The feeling of bitterness sets in her bones, and she feels the need to escape immediately.

He had no problem replacing her by this point.Some girl in a tight dress was probably moaning his name. Anyone could easily be filling her shoes, and she fucking hated it.

I know she thinkin' now she found herself a winner

I know you fucked her on the counter

Right before you cooked her dinner, yeah

I know you think about me when you kiss her

I left a taste in your mouth, can she taste me now?

That you threw out all our furniture and pictures

I bet you sugarcoat the truth, I bet you're real sweet with her, yeah

I know you think about me when you kiss her

I left a taste in your mouth, can she taste me now?

I'm bitter

… I'm bitter, I'm bitter, I'm bitter, I'm bitter

She could just imagine the girl thinking she had found herself a winner. He probably was fucking his new girl on the same counter he used to fuck her on, right before they cooked dinner. He probably made the same joke about needing an appetizer before the main meal.

His body may be moving on, but she knows his mind hasn't. She wasn't that easy to leave behind, like he had hoped. She knew that even as he kissed his new girl, flashes of her face were popping up, reminding him of what he had chosen to lose. She made sure to leave a taste of herself in his mouth. something to constantly be reminded of their love. She knew that her taste overpowered this new girl's tongue. He may be kissing someone new, but he is still tasting her. She hoped this new girl could taste her too.

He probably threw out every picture of them together and bought all new furniture. There's nothing to show where their love used to be. She can just imagine how he's so sweet with his new girl. probably sugarcoating all of his issues.

She was bitter, and she hoped they fucking knew it.

Hearing 'bout your new life and a brand new you

It's like, heard you got a new job but I heard you moved

It's like, I don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear 'bout you

It's like I don't give a fuck

Yeah, I do

She heard all about the new Eddie Munson. The rockstar, the heartbreaker, and every girl's wet dream He wasn't the old boy she fell in love with. He didn't live in a trailer park anymore. He didn't get excited over the little things. He was new now. And the new him didn't have room for her anymore.

She heard he moved out to California, heading straight to the record labels. She knew he'd always find time to leave; he hated everything in this town, including her.

She doesn't want to hear anything about him. She hates hearing his name, his music, and all about how his life is so much better without her.

But a part of her did want to hear it because she still gave a fuck.

You're still in my head but

You're not in my bed now

He was fucking everywhere but where she wanted him the most. He lives in her head but his side of the bed stays empty. She wished when he walked out, he took the memory of them with him.

Oh, you know I'm bitter

(I'm bitter, I'm bitter, I'm bitter)

He gets to live out his dream with no baggage left behind. No care in the world for the plans they made together.

He got to live freely and she is stuck in the past. And for that- she was bitter.

Tags

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson

@sage-the-z0mbie @michaelfuckinglangdon

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie stranger things #eddie munson angst x reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x female reader #Spotify

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damabelladonna · 24 days

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I really wanted to give satisfaction, I couldn't write a goodbye letter but I'm too tired, I couldn't do much and no one will listen to my advice so I feel like it must all be in vain, I still had many things to do on earth and I hope that someone knows so well about me that they will say them, and I hope that someone who is stronger than me will do them. I really didn't want to go out like this, and I may be being hasty but I don't want to be in my 40s and everything continues like this. I could do something drastic to get out of this nightmare but I lack the courage, Sometimes it feels like a punishment, I don't know if it's because of the person I am or was, or because of some shit that happened in my past life or what I said about certain """people"'"'. You know, I should have done this before, when I really had no hope, Saying goodbye with hope is the worst thing.. I wish I had the courage I had before, but after so many things I'm simply afraid, I know I should do it, but I don't know who is right, and I have no one to help me, I'm in such a fucked up Gaslight that I don't know if I'm right about the story anymore, And at the same time as I'm afraid it's karma, I'll be really pissed if I get to heaven and they say I didn't try hard enough. Like,I was positive, I said positive things but I'm tired, and I know that even if I fell, I have to get up because at some point it will work out, But it's so far away. I'm afraid of saying that I tried and being told that I didn't try enough.. And literally my suicide is a desperate way of asking someone superior for help, but if they exist I'm probably not being accompanied. I had so many things to do .... I really had good ideas, my actions may not be but deep down I wanted to do something good... You know, the hope I had is gone, and I know that one day I would leave this place but it takes so long, I know I can do something but is it worth it? So far it has never been worth it.

I have some things to say

If you believe in my art and make it recognized, I love you.

If my art is simply not known.. well.. if you have seen it, believe in it please.

Girls, please don't follow in my footsteps

Children listen to adults

And to my father, if I don't give up on leaving here until you return, please forgive me, don't let my departure shake you, you have to be strong.

Diana, you have an incredible future, never forget that

Caio, you will be able to move up in life and your arrogance doesn't make you bad or anything like that.

Grandma... Pray for me, You were incredible.

Grandma, I never met you, but I won't forget you

For my pets, mommy loves you, I will hug you from the other side.

Mom, I should have followed your advice, but ... Whatever, goodbye.

Cristiane, maybe I'm right but don't let that change anything.

Psychologist, well you were good, thanks for it.

Requests:

Make me remembered

Save the world for me

Share my art

Give me a nice funeral

Alex I'm just going to say goodbye to you. Malri, I would like you to come to my show.

A no thanks to: Sabrina, Isabelly and all the fucking "friends" that I have in 2019-2022 except for Maria.

Erick I missed you

Homage:

Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy, sol pais, Sarah m, a.h, John Wayne, Jeffrey Dahmer, Robert maldsley and all the sk.

School people: You weren't nearly killed.

#hell is a teenage girl #female manipulator #girlhood #im just a girl #coquette #female rage #lana del rey aka lizzy grant #girlblogging #coquette girl #goodbye

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hiccanna-tidbits · 10 months

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HICCANNA MONTH WEEK 1, DAY 1 - TAYLOR SWIFT I'D LIE

***

I don't think that passenger's seat Has ever looked this good to me He tells me about his night And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love, he swears, As he runs his fingers through his hair I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong And I don't think it ever crossed his mind He tells a joke, I fake a smile But I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you His favorite color's green He loves to argue Born on the seventeenth His sister's beautiful He has his father's eyes And if you ask me if I love him I'd lie

He looks around the room Innocently overlooks the truth Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything in black and white Never let nobody see him cry I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you His favorite color's green He loves to argue Born on the seventeenth His sister's beautiful He has his father's eyes And if you ask me if I love him I'd lie

He stands there, then walks away My God, if I could only say I'm holding every breath for you

He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar I think he can see through everything but my heart First thought when I wake up Is "My God, he's beautiful" So I put on my make-up And pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you His favorite color's green He loves to argue Oh, and he kills me His sister's beautiful He has his father's eyes And if you ask me if I love him If you ask me if I love him I'd lie

***

Anna has been best friends with twins Hiccup and Rapunzel for as long as she can remember. When their no-nonsense kindergarten teacher forced the inseparable siblings to make friends besides each other, the off-kilter redhead eating glitter glue in the corner of the room was the one they made a beeline for.

Now, the three of them do everything together. DnD campaigns. Video game nights. Getting themselves sick off candy and junk food when their parents travel out of town and leave them with meal funds they're told to "spend wisely". Hanging out with Hiccup and Rapunzel's spirited shelter dog Toothless, so enormous, gangly, and overzealous that many of the other kids at school are scared of him.

Not Anna, though. She makes it no secret she would die for Toothless and every single one of his lopsided teeth, and to hell with anyone who doesn't love him like he deserves.

Going into their junior year of high school, their friendship is so solid that it's almost unthinkable to imagine it as anything else. Might throw the universe out of whack, even.

Which is why Anna is keeping a potentially world-shattering secret tucked away where no one will ever find it: A name in a heart-shaped box under her bed.

"I am never falling in love," Hiccup tells her dejectedly one morning in Weights class. As he trains with the smallest barbels available, his gaze flits to where Astrid Hofferson is pumping iron across the room.

Anna snickers. "Little late for that," she teases.

"No." Hiccup scoffs. "I was only crushing on her. I got out of that situation before it was too late. I'm fine now."

Ah. Still taking the rugby captain's rejection hard, Anna sees. When Hiccup finally gathered the courage to ask Astrid to Homecoming the previous month, she'd told him she preferred dates with a little more meat on their bones.

Hiccup's attempts to make that happen were not going well.

"I'm only trying to show her what she missed out on," he says snidely. "To hell with dating, honestly. Too much drama. And love? Good gods, as if I need that kind of emotional rollercoaster in my life."

"I don't know. Could be fun."

Anna puts down her barbel. Despite not being quite ready, she graduates to the next one.

Maybe if she speed-runs the curriculum for this class, she'll be lifting the same weights as Astrid in a couple months.

"Sure, until they get tired of you." Hiccup sighs. "Then oh boy! It's time to spiral, and not get any scholarships because you were too busy moping about getting dumped to apply!"

Anna forces a chuckle. He's not always the comedic genius he thinks he is, but far be it from her to ever let him know that.

A whistle blows. With some relief, Anna starts to pack up.

"Hey, you never told me how Spiderman 4 was," she says. She didn't make it to the movie with Hiccup and Punz--too much damn trigonometry homework--but she hoped they'd had a good time.

"Oh, it was great!" Hiccup brightens up immediately. "I have to show it to you. You said you don't care about spoilers, right? Because there's this Mysterio and Kingpin teamup that's fucking awesome, and this really shady new mentor figure shows up and tries to bribe Peter with an Uncle Ben clone, and--"

Hiccup has really pretty eyes.

A deep, rich fir tree green around the rims, and a more gleaming, vibrant ferny color in a blot around the pupil. Like sunshine glowing through summer leaves. Unreasonably gorgeous, really.

"Uh...earth to Anna?"

She blinks several times, shaking off embarrassment. "Right! Sorry."

"You good? You were staring off into the void for a while."

At least he didn't notice what exactly I was staring at.

"Yeah, yeah." She sighs. "Just tired. Insomnia, my old foe, our battle never ends!"

Hiccup is, fortunately, none the wiser. But trouble strikes again after school.

Hiccup can't make it to their weekly Friday night Bad Movie Marathon. That in itself is understandable enough--he has an AP Bio exam on Monday, and like hell he's going to screw up his GPA. But when she and Rapunzel drop Hiccup off on the way to her place, Anna apparently looked after him a little too long.

"So." Rapunzel gets a smug look on her face that Anna does not like.

They've been going home from school together since elementary. Their houses are a couple blocks apart--a 10-minute walk, at most.

Nonetheless, Anna gets the distinct feeling this otherwise ordinary stroll is going to feel very long. And very unpleasant.

"When were you planning on telling me you're in love with my brother?"

"What?" Anna snorts as loudly and dismissively as she possibly can. "Punz, that's ridiculous. Where even did you get an idea like that?!"

Because it is ridiculous! ...right?

Maybe if she says it with enough conviction, she can will it into reality.

Rapunzel laughs airily, shaking her head. "It's all over your face, Ans!"

Anna just scoffs. "The only thing that's all over my face is acne and concealer. I mean yeah, you and Hiccup are my best friends, but I don't love him like that. That would be weird."

It very definitely would be. Hiccup's own sister was sure to think that more than anyone.

Would it complicate their friendship if Rapunzel became her sister in law? If Rapunzel ever had kids, would Anna be an honorary aunt, or...and actual by-marriage aunt?!

It's all very strange to think about. Anna aggressively banishes the notions to her head's most isolated corners.

"Okay, then." Rapunzel turns, crossing her arms and blocking Anna's path. Her smug grin deepens.

Anna's chest fills with dread.

"What's his favorite color?"

"Dark green." Anna answers without even thinking.

"Favorite food?"

"Crabcakes."

"Favorite animal?"

"Oh, easy. Crocodile skinks."

"Planned college major?"

"Torn between engineering and herpetology. He likes herpetology more, but engineering jobs are more in demand right now."

"Favorite DnD class to play?"

"Druid."

"Dream hiking spot?"

"Amazon rainforest."

"Dream car?"

"He thinks cars are dumb and every city should install high-speed rail immediately. But if held at gunpoint, he'd want an electric one--preferably one that doesn't randomly catch on fire like your average Tesla."

"Scented candle of choice?"

"Something piney, or kind of a subtle earthy or berry scent. Also sandalwood."

"Instrument of choice?"

"He's not crazy about any of them, but...you two took guitar lessons for a while when you were little. If pressed, he can play a bit. But he doesn't like it because he's got sensory issues with the finger callouses and he feels kind of self-conscious about using a pick."

"Favorite band?"

"Probably Linkin Park, but he'd never openly admit to being that much of an edgelord."

"Birthday?"

"Leap year, but he celebrates on the 28th. He's technically only 4 years old."

"Perfect." Rapunzel is now looking like a cat that devoured no less than 10 canaries, and Anna does not like it one bit. "Now! Do all of those for me, your other totally platonic best friend."

Oh shit.

Rapunzel clearly revels in the panic that flashes across Anna's face. Nonetheless, Anna takes a breath and does as asked.

"Your favorite color's lavender. Your favorite foods are hazelnut soup and cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Your favorite animals are chameleons, but you have a soft spot for horses, too. Your planned college major is communications, but what you really wish you could do is art history. Your favorite DnD class is cleric. Your dream hiking spot is the Black Forest in Germany. Your dream car is a hybrid--you don't care what type as long as you can get a cute pink or purple paint job. Your scented candle of choice is something flowery but subtle, like...magnolia with a tinge of lilac or something. Your instrument of choice is also guitar, except you don't care about the callous thing. Your favorite band is Walk the Moon. Your birthday is--hey, that's a trick question! You're twins--you have the same birthday!"

Rapunzel snickers, and Anna glares at her. "What are you laughing about? I answered all the stuff you wanted me to!"

"Yeah, but...you hesitated."

Anna hopes to every god that might exist that the blood isn't rushing to her face. "What are you talking about?"

"You answers for Hiccup were a lot faster. Completely instinctual, almost. You took a liiiiittle longer to remember all the same stuff about me."

"So what?" Anna bristles. "That doesn't mean anything!"

"I think it does," Rapunzel sings. She giggles and twirls like a silly anime schoolgirl, relishing the victory Anna has no intention of actually giving her.

Anna puts on her sourest pout. "You're nuts, Punzel. Like I'd ever be in love with your dorky brother."

God. Anna feels a pit in her stomach, glancing back and forth between the Haddock household and her aggravatingly self-satisfied friend.

I'm such a fucking liar.

***

YO, HAPPY FIRST DAY OF HICCANNA MONTH YALL

So I actually almost decided to forego TSwift day because I have pretty much maxed out making posts for all the Taylor songs I think are the most Hiccanna-coded, BUT!!! Then I realized I almost forgot I'd Lie, the OG Hiccanna TSwift bop that practically describes Hiccup to a T!!! So naturally I had to make a Thing about it. And, of course, I had to make the moodboard green-themed, since, well...his favorite color's green 💚

Even if that's not actually Hiccup's favorite color, it might as well be, for how much it's worked into his character color motifs and such aksjhdksufhuyh

I usually have Toothless as a cat in modern AUs (or maybe a pet lizard, if I'm feeling especially adventurous) because I just generally don't think he's that dog-coded, BUT! When I found a pic of a ginger cuddling an absolute dog!Toothless if I ever did see one, what was I supposed to do??? Like this dog looks like a lanky little ink gremlin, I wanna be his best friend, too :O Also, the girl with periwinkle nails holding his paw off to the side is Rapunzel, of course!

Speaking of which! It's funny, I've always seen Rapunzel and Hiccup as having a sibling-like relationship (they are just so Dipper and Mabel coded fr), but I've never actually tried writing them as siblings. BUT THEN with the "his sister's beautiful" bit...I needed a sister for Hiccup anyways, so I took a stab at writing him and Punz as twins! Ironically I'm not usually a big of the "falling for your best friend's brother" trope (mainly because if I had any siblings, I would feel like...SUPER weird about them macking on my friends with tongue lmao). But with Punz and Hiccup, I feel like they'd have a pretty close and good relationship, even among some typical sibling squabbles, and would be equally close with Anna. So Rapunzel wouldn't be that put off by Anna being into her brother. In fact, she'd be a little shit about it, I think >:D

Putting that chocolate in the moodboard was a mistake. Now I'm hungry for sugary foods, and my mom's already started giving me enough of a hard time about getting fat XD Luckily I'm poor, so I don't have much extraneous cash to spend on the kind of junk food I write about my blorbos eating!

Although I still smell A Little Treat incoming the next time I go to the grocery store, RIP

Pic credits available upon request!

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stoicallyshi · 3 months

Text

February 8th

It's not that he doesn't understand but it is that he doesn't want to. He pretends to feel dejected by my thoughts and my deeds, he shows so by that look of unfaithfulness which completely shatters my inner child, a 22 year child which was forced to feel and act like a 25.

He says "it's all a rat race in big cities, I don't like such rushed life, it's not worth it." I say same father I don't either but I don’t explain why. Maybe it's because I like the noise of the sea waves more, maybe because the crowd makes me uncomfortable.

I always look at myself with pity, I sometime don't even appreciate myself much for what I have become for him and behind chasing his dream. I wish I could tell him that this is not I want anymore, I wish I could tell him that my heart belongs somewhere else, beats for a dream which is too far and unapproachable from his pov. I look at him with hope, that one day I might be able to gather the courage and tell him the truth about everything I want to do and everything I want to be. I pray in my mind and make scenarios about how would he react to the far fetched things I would say to him. The silence and the dejected look on his face horrifies me to the core.

The ungrateful look on his face, the pain of not being understood, the weight of his expectations, the non alignment of his thinking and my thoughts, the uttered disbelief in place of "oh do what you like", the folly of wanting him to take pride in me but not receiving enough support from him, it all comes down on me hitting me, tearing me from my very own skin.

I have grown accustomed of not letting him know what I wanna do with my future because I know it will never be a happy thing to know for him. I keep a check on myself for not letting myself flow and blabber out things which I suppress whenever I see him getting a little casual with our conversation. I feel like there are so many things I wanna say to him, I feel a bit overjoyed whenever I feel like am heard but down the brain the only thing that reaches me is the feeling of how ununderstood I still stand.

"Working in one of the metropolitan cities earning 2,3 lakhs can't compare to what you could get from getting into one of these government jobs, do something for the place you were born on". These ain't just words, these are the words that makes me feel doubtful about myself that whatever I'm doing may not be enough for him ever, not today, not in any coming days. Yet he says all he has ever wanted is to see me settled even if it's a low profile job. But this thing in my brain will it ever let me live with peace until I see him being proud for what I did? Will I ever be able to live with the fact that I didn't do enough to satisfy him? It was never enough for the only person I was doing it all for, tell me will I be able to sleep with this constant knock on my body and soul?

How will I ever live knowing that maybe one day if I choose to do things of my own, he might not look at me like his own daughter? Tell me how do want me to survive if the reason for making it out through all doesn't find my reasons apprehensive because of the person he is and not because of the person he could be? Afterall why would anyone want to change his grounds of beliefs and ideals if that has been incorporated for more than the years I have lived my life.

A part of mine screams, cries and yearns to be understood and appreciated, not a part maybe it's all me. I don't blame him for anything, how can I when he is all the reason I still live a life better than those who doesn't have one. Maybe I guess someday it will all change. I imagine turning the long rusted wheels of the turbine between us. I wish the flow of the water to be strong enough to wash down all his insecurities and see me as someone who is at her best and did it all to prove worth being a good daughter.

I wish it all was never just on the paper, wish it all was already contemplated somewhere, anywhere !

#daddy issues #it's all chaos #chaotic academia #franz kafka #february #i just wish things were different

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sol-consort · 3 months

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Man FUCK that bitch ass fucking assassin motherfucker I hope he rots. Sorry he pissed me off to no end.

Also yeah FemShep’s VA is considered the better VA of the Shepards which makes sense MaleShep is voiced by Mark Meer who hadn’t done much voice work before, his biggest role being Cyric in Baldur’s Gate II, and FemShep was voiced by Jennifer Hale who had been at it for almost 20 years at the time. It wasn’t just Jennifer Hale either, Anderson being Keith David and Joker being Seth Green who had both been doing it over 20 years. I liked MaleShep’s voice though and never had a problem with it because it’s very main heroy and recognizable like I’d instantly know that it was Shepard if I heard it.

I knew that the series wouldn’t be exactly up with the times because it was 2007-2012 but Jesus I had no idea that FemShep gets harassed so much.

I didn’t get a reconcile scene on the Citadel since I didn’t romance anyone in ME1 I went into the series with Tali on my mind as my definitive romance.

I don’t think Thane praying for you instead himself is unique to his romance? Or at least I remember something similar happening maybe it was his son.

You can’t hit on EDI as MaleShep I’m pretty sure don’t remember that being an option however you can still hit on Joker as MaleShep I remember seeing that option and going “why would I say that?” Also I’m surprised you never mentioned the Joker segment of Mass Effect 2 where you sneak around the ship as Joker that section surprised the shit out of me.

Oh yeah a fun little fact, remember the show Once Upon a Time I’ve mentioned a couple times when talking about fairy tales? The actor who plays Kaiden was in that show and played the show’s version of Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio. I don’t remember what happened to Cricket in the show though. He may have just stopped being relevant so they never brought him up again since the show just fucking loved doing that.

Is the hot assassin guy supposed to be unlikeable? I liked him so far, like ngl, plus he's pretty cool. Evil living weapons of destructions, my beloveds.

And yeah, i really like femshep, but it is pretty cool of them to give maleshep VA a chance for such a big character. Sure, it could've been better, but he probably did the best he could with the skills he had at the time, and it did appeal to some people!

And man I'm just lucky I actually enjoy these things ingames, like I am down to being a whore and flirting with everyone so it doesn't bother me when the npcs forcefully flirt with you bc you picked a woman. What bothers me is that the fact it's only bc you picked a woman, and just because I wanted it doesn't mean other people do and it might make them very uncomfortable. There are several mods to remove the sexual harassments femshep gets, I wish there was one to remove it for EDI tho.

We should all have a choice, is what I'm saying. It feels like femshep was made to appeal to straight guys who might play her as an outsider observer. Same with some lesbian characters, too, ngl- not all of them, but the game has its moments where it makes me realise oh this was put here for a straight dude to gawk at. Meanwhile, maleshep feels the proper self insert badass at times. Really hate that.

That's why I like picking NB options whenever they're present, you're free from expectations and the devs aren't sure what to make of you so they don't try to appeal to a certian demographic and just write your character as a character.

You did Tali romance? Hell yeah she is an amazing character and her relationship with Shepard feels phenomenal. Like a scientist princess and her knight in shining armour, amazing. Plus she is all adorable when she talks about engines and how we get to help her so many times.

Apparently her and Garrus end up together if you don't romance her, but I haven't seen it yet. She always felt close to Shepard, especially in the second game where she is the first friendly face you see.

I haven't met her yet in ME3, still doing side errands. I am very very broke and everything is very very expensive and I miss sugar daddy illusive man pls take me back, the alliance became more stingy than I remember or inflation is hitting hard.

Fuck I hat like 999999 something credits in the first game, why couldn't it tranfer over??

And Thane!! My heart! He even prays for you when he's not romanced??? That's it, he is legit the most precious character and no one else comapres. I would die for Thane, I would kill everyone on the Normady for Thane.

But I know Thane would forgive me If I picked Grunt over him bc my son which just makes Thane the most amazing man ever, DRELL ARE SUPERIOR I TELL YOU.

Also so far Drell worship Hanar (kinda) and Hanar worship protheons (kinda) and Javik likes humans(he is all current protheon population)

So by association! Drell and Humans are conncted, and no, I will not give up my tank of copium. Go buy your own. Idk what overdosing is, I have insomnia I forgot.

And aww we can't hit on EDI :( i would've treated her better than Joker.

Yeah I had the same reaction to the flirting with Joker line but just went for it because what's the worst that can happen? He says no and we laught it off.

Imagine if the worst was him retiring from being your pilot and you get soma rando driving the Normady around who now runs at half the speed and takes twice as much gas plus occasionally breaks down and you have to pay 100k credits for repairs.

Oh also then there is this one thing I am sure is exclusive to femshep.

You can sleep with Javik. The protheon. Yes.

But it's not a full romance :"(

He has four eyes I wonder if he has four-

I heard about once upon a time, the show. But never watched it.

I did however watch a random person talk about it in a video essay because I prefer that over watching shows.

This one.

It was fun, I'm not big on fairytales but I enjoyed hearing about it.

The Joker sneak section in ME2 didn't resonate with me much for some reason. It was nice but I didn't feel the pressure at all and with EDI constantly talking it got annoying and I just wanted it to be over.

His jokes were nice but the moment of trusting EDI didn't hit the same way it should've. It didn't feel endearing or earnest.

The sudden flip in their relationship afterwards was too jarring.

I prefer ME3 EDI and Joker dynamic over ME2. However I hate how EDI is becoming a "born sexy yesterday" character by the game when her core as a character is so profound and genuine. She wants to know her purpose, what it means to be alive and all the other characters mention about her is her body which is bleh.

Even some of her dialogues with Joker is just overplayed sex jokes. It's all of her amazing writing vanishes the moment it's not just her and Shepard in a conversation.

Kaidan's voice actor is great! He even stood out to me in the first game. You notice how much more convicnising and immersive his delivery was over the other characters, almost outshined ME1 femshep even.

It's like the dialogue and the way he delievers it fit perfectly. If I just read it, then I get a completely different impression.

The game doesn't have bad voice actors it just has very bad delivery from some characters. It's when someone keeps a constant tone and doesn't portray any emotions or adds any personalisation into the dialogue. It feels tone deaf a lot when what the character is speaking about is something intimiate, yet it sounds the same as asking about the weather.

Still, it is nostalgic in a way, this was extremely common in older games.

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safyresky · 6 months

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Hello, I need to drop this in here before Season two of TSCS drop kicks me in a few days.

But I've had Fusion Au on the mind. In the brain. And I just frankly wanna know more about it. Whatever other information you can give I will GLADLY take. (Maybe even drop the fusion height chart 👉👈 if it is to be found)

Steven Universe has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I just wanna hear you talk about this silly little au that has been fluttering around lately.

F E L T. I have been hitting the ground RUNNING for Crystal Springs just to give myself decent AC for when the series picks up again (not sure if I'm gonna post the same day of the new episodes or the day AFTER, but New CS will be there to comfort me and maybe others in my our time of need).

I am not ready. I NEVER will be. I hope and pray that the Council isn't butchered, bc if we've got three confirmed Legendary Figures, I can't see us NOT getting the others. Or, maybe it WILL just be Sandy and Cupid and EB 2.0!! But idk. Idk man. Idk. I really want the snowball that gets thrown in Scott's face in the trailer to be courtesy of Jack. I know it won't be. But I fucking WISH and HOPE and AH.

OFF TOPIC!

I have a height chart floating around somewhere, but it is a stick figure doodle, so I will ATTEMPT to give you a proper?? Chart???

I think I said that Berline is about the size of two Elles stacked on top of each other (sitting on her shoulders) so I kinda eyeballed it based on that??? (me retconning so much about heights knowing that I had Berline pick Elle up and seat her in their palm lmao) So here we go, the main line up:

I eyeballed the SHIT out of this??? I may boost them all a whole ass foot lmao but Richard was liek "DANI. SEVEN FEET IS TALL!" and I was like I GUESS.

Also, as an aside??? The height chart site has a 3D one?? That actually disturbed me??? Thank GOD I was able to switch back! If I find the shitty lil stick figure height doodle I will edit to add it. Or reblog to add it, lol. ANYWAY.

Some info, you request? Okay! Let me marinate it in my head and see what I can do throughout the day:

If the entire frost fam fused they'd be called Frost and they'd be a DELIGHT. They don't talk much except for to be polite and they will throw melty molten rock at you at the drop of a hat, so it's a GOOD THING that Jackie doesn't exists when Frost does! Because they WOULD drop their hat on purpose just to see a fire show

Frost probably freezes in place a lot while thinking since there's 6 whole ass sprites in there having a discussion, which is a very funny mental image--just this blob of ice and fire BUFFERING and then suddenly some asshole gets pompeii'd lol

They're very sweet! Very polite. Always say please and thank you!

When Fino and Fiera fuse, Fire is just the opposite of the THERE'S TWO meme. There's ONE. And they are making it YOUR PROBLEM (they also do unfuse in my head very similarly to the THERE'S TWO meme)

Fire is also the most humanoid looking fusion, for sure!

Diteline really likes flower crowns. She will make you a flower crown or a lil grass bracelet if she's left alone with no threats and a bunch of nature. She's a big old sweetie, an absolute delight

Diteline kids, meanwhile, are a pain when they learn about fusion, and incredibly hard to keep track of once they master it. Those three lil buggers will bounce from fusion to fusion, going from helping to causing trouble to wreaking havoc to trying to fix something as simple as "oh shit, mom and mater will be home soon and we DIDN'T CLEAN THE KITCHEN LIKE THEY ASKED"

Inter season squabbles take on a whole new meaning when it's "shoulder season" time, as 9/10 times it's because the two seasons have fused and are still doing their jobs 😂😂

Of all the Frosts, Fino is the least likely to fuse! It's fun but not like, a big deal, y'know? Orc Friend (who's name is, in fact, Ken, and then I saw Barbie and. Well. But I can't not see him with any other name! It's short for Kenothy) was tres relieved about this, had a whole crisis about if they'd have to fuse at all and of course, overthought it in leaps and bounds 🫠🫠🫠

Fiera and Normal Man (His name is Norm bc I am a SUCKER for a PUNNY NAME) probably would equate to the Stevonnie plotline lol. Like, they'd fuse and Fiera would be like "I DIDN'T KNOW ORDIBEINGS COULD DO THAT! WOW!" And they'd be so excited and have a regular time, bc the normal and absolutely unhinged wild crazy balance out :)

I think their fusion is named Norma lol

Blaise and Pyros never fused, ever. They were not allowed to bc it "wasn't proper" for royalty to resort to something like that

(King and Queen Frost had a very hands-off approach with...messier conflicts. There's a reason they managed to scrape by when The Call happened)

If a redemption arc ever happened for Pyros, it A) wouldn't be one like Jack's, it'd be a more "oh so this was a fucked up upbringing and I need to stop blaming others and confront myself and maybe fix my shit or maybe get worse, who's to say" kind of thing, and B) there'd deffs be a fusion related plotline in Fusion AU, potentially involving murder of parents and/or falling into a volcano.

I think, somehow, of ALL the fusions, Elline (Elle and Jacqueline) are the most chillest one. She is SO chill. She probably always has sunglasses on or on her person. She's got great advice. She'll go with you for ice cream any day! She has such good vibes it's unREAL.

I want to/am in the process of giving the inter-season fusions names. So far we've got:

Flora: Spring/Summer

Fauna: Spring/Autumn

Mud: Spring/Winter.

She's very insistent on this name presently, but I think a wintry plant would be cuter, like Winterberry or Poinsettia or Snowdrop (my personal fave tbh) but NO. She's like "I make Mud therefor I am mud."

Everyone calls her Snowdrop and she's like "No, just Mud for short is fine" It's like. None of those letters are even IN "Snowdrop" Mud, the FUCK? CAN'T YOU CHARACTERS BE NORMAL. TO A POINT.

Evergreen: Autumn/Winter

Sunflower: Summer/Autumn

(I was torn between something plain and obvious like "Harvest", or a silly crop related pun like "Melony", then I remembered that in SDV Sunflowers grow in Summer and Autumn, you know, like they do in IRL and went OH THAT'S PERFECT!)

Summer/Winter fusion is definitely the poster fusion for vacations, lmao. Probably I'll think of something like THAT for their name. Maybe Snowbird? Bc that's what they call people who fly south for the winter on vacations? Lol

(smacks head of Season sisters) These ladies can fit SO MUCH PUNS in 'em

Blaise and Winter I don't think really fuse with the kiddos, not until later years. I know for sure Winter and Jacqueline on occasion have! She's called Flurry and has the MOST energy ever always and is a sentient storm's WORST NIGHTMARE

Blinter the fusion. Can deffs. Pull other fusions apart. They can just pick up a fusion and be like "nope" and separate their asses. They do not abuse this power; it is just something they can do and it came in handy a LOT during the War of Succession

Which is probably actually when they first appeared! Trauma bonding 🥰🥰

So that's what I managed in a day! The heights are...average, I'd say. Not gospel, but like, the differences between the fusions? Solid. I eyeballed it 100%. I'm like MAKE EM BIG but then I'm like I WANT THEM TO BE SNEAKY AND BLEND IN WHEN THEY CAN AS JUST VERY TALL PEOPLE HUEHUEHUE. For some of them. SO YEAH. I HOPE THIS SATISFIES THE LIL ITCH? THE LIL TICKLE? THE LIL FUSION BUG??

I gotta like. Tidy Fusion AU up now that I've got Crystal Springs tidied up, too! It'll make it easier to write the Jackie Frost instalment, lol.

#dani answers #ask box shenanigans #alpharra #fusion au #anyway i hope you enjoy this!!!!#maybe i will. fusion au for you all next year. idk!!!!#we'll see!#OH ALSO i think jackie may get a glow up!#you know how harvey guillen wore that AMAZING suit with the like. skirt back????#that but for jackie. that's rent free in my HEAD bb #okok this has been in drafts way too long today lol. enjoy!

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msfbgraves · 5 months

Note

((and Terry doesn't even know he's gambling with his heart.)) And he lost big time and soon enough lmao. Tsk tsk, oh Terry. Once he had Daniel, there was no way he could ever let him go. Not that Daniel minded, luckily enough…;3 These two fools, I swear! ♥️

Today isn't about him, grazie a Dio, and yet he feels he's been catapulted back in time. There's not even a pup to anchor him to his life, he feels like he's not in it – as if, by some divine grace, he's been given a do-over.

And yet there's still Terry.

He feels exactly the same about him: torn between desire and fear, sadness and hope. Did he know, then, who he was being given to? Has he always known?

He tries, he tries so hard, as always, for everyone's sake, but he can't forget the cold, dead look in his mate's eyes when he took him.

It's a look he's known longer than Terry – he has seen it in his father, his sister, his uncles, his brother, and he's believed them when they said: “That's not for you.” Never for you.

Until it is.

And yet.

Look at his brother, look how he holds his bride. So serious, so determined to show her that he's worthy. Trying to make himself tall in the procession. It's not much, what the Vitellis have, and yet it's everything for Mike, Daniel can see that. He's proud of Mikey, and his wife, too, Apollonia – she's serious on her first day as a woman, for that is how she'll see it.

Does she know what they are? Does she care?

He's with the other omegas first, of course, and with Nessa to welcome Apollonia into their circle, for he'll have a new sister from today. But then, his place is with Terry, inescapable as gravity.

He loves him. He knows it. He tries –

But at the touch of his hand, his smell, everything inside him freezes up. He tries not to let it. He tries –

For a man with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death.

Kumiko. And that line is not even hers, he knows it; she told him it's by her uncle, Miya – something, and he vaguely remembers wanting to meet him one day. Another pipe dream. Still, he can hear her if she's sitting next to him.

Help me, he prays then. God, help me.

Suddenly his mate stirs. “Wait here,” he says, softly, then goes over to say something to Nessa. She looks confused, but walks to the musicians, who disappear into Vitelli's café, and, after a lot of noise, emerge carrying a slightly battered piano. They place it, as instructed, apparently, right in the middle of the circle of chairs, about a foot from where the couple are sitting.

Terry grins, then walks to Michael. “Miguele. Traduci per me.”

That's more Italian that he's ever uttered, and now Daniel walks to the front. “Terry, I can -”

“Sh.” It's not unkind. “Make yourself comfortable, sweetheart.”

Terry knows Michael's Italian isn't flawless. Nessa, now, she's fluent in six dialects, something which she's quite obviously trying to communicate.

Daniel shakes his head, laughing in spite of himself. These two! Mercifully perhaps, Terry keeps it brief.

“Dear brother,” he says, with a mocking bow to Michael, “sweet sister,” that's Apollonia, already offended on Michael's behalf. “I have a wish for you. May you ever feel like this.” He swallows, sits down at the piano and now looks straight at him.

“So in love.”

It's different on a grand piano, but Daniel recognises the melody in an instant.

New, to him, are the words.

Strange dear

But true, dear

When I'm close to you, dear

The stars fill the sky

So in love with you am I

Even without you

My arms fold about you

You know, darling, why

So in love with you, am I

He tries to look at him, but Terry seems gone into a universe all his own.

In love with the night mysterious

The night when you first were there

In love with my joy, delirious

when I knew that you could care

Now their gazes do meet. And Daniel's back, on his wedding night, close to his mate of a few hours, with all those feelings that then they didn't speak. The passion in Terry's voice, it makes him fear, for the very first time:

Did they miss their chance?

Can they go back?

...What if they can't?

A chord fades, then, and Terry closes his eyes, his face a rictus of pain:

So taunt me

And hurt me

Deceive me, desert me

I am yours till I die!

So in love

So in love, with you, my love

He stops, and neither of them breathe.

Then Terry looks down.

Am I

He didn't think he had any tears left in him. But never were they tears of fear or regret, not for their love, and when his mate embraces him, he feels gratitude, and darkness, too, but now, at least, it comes with words:

“You're a bastard.”

"I know." A kiss. "I know.”

“You don't deserve me.”

“I know – ”

His voice breaks. “You've really hurt me!”

“I know, I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry...” His mate holds him through sobs so strong he's nearly puking with tears. “Daniel, I'm so sorry,” he hears again, “for everything I've done. All of it, Daniel, I'm so sorry -”

He kisses him then, and it must be disgusting but it serves him right, and when someone is calling “Viva gli sposi” it feels like it's at least partly for them this time.

“I love you,” he whispers, completely exhausted, and in response, his mate tenderly grazes his bitemark with his lips. Daniel feels warmth, a gush of blood, a small cramp – Terry's whole body stiffens –

“Oh...”

He doesn't think anybody has ever held him this tightly. “Get. A. Car!” Terry calls, but there's a gleeful uproar; as one, the guests are herding them towards the nearest house, which, to Daniel's horror, seems to be the Vitelli café. He tries to protest, but Vitelli seems to be shaking his head, a blessing on the wedding, and indeed there are a couple of guest rooms upstairs. At the very least, they're herded to the one furthest from the square.

“Oh, God, they'll hear,” Daniel says as his mate is stripping away his suit under loud whistling outside.

“Oh, yeah,” Terry grins. “Let's show them how it's done.”

“Bastard,” Daniel says, again. “I'll never live this down.”

“Hmm,” Terry says. “Better make it count then, huh?”

#silverusso #knights and pawns #omegaverse #marital problems #making up #forgiveness

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youareinbarbados · 1 year

Text

Conditions and Permission

So I've noticed some people asking; **Why isn't everyone a billionaire?**

They ask this in a manner, not to question the validity of the law, but as a question of taste.

My opinion is that one literally doesn't need that much money. If it's a desire, then godspeed. We all have them. The issue is this.

Why do they want THAT much money ? The answer is usually that they want;

* *- Perpetual Security/comfort without having to worry ever again for their entire human existence.*

* *-Being able to enjoy whatever they want, at a whim, without barriers or people standing in the way.*

* *-infinite choice*

At the end if the day it's a desire to do anything and everything they want sans inhibition.I mean, ok sure. Why not ? We're all different. There's no judgement. However, I think we should dig a little deeper. Let's think about desire.

Desire is something we really want. Lots of people chase their desires, hoping to attain them at one point. This begs the Question:

*What happens when I get what I want ?*

Honestly, from what I've seen, not many people even know the answer to this question. How would you feel ? What would happen then ? What is life like afterwards ? Lots of people don't know, and it's sobering. You must to know. If you don't know, why are you even desiring ? Think about it.

What happens when you attain your desire ?

*"THEN ID BE HAPPY I WOULD THEN MANIFEST MY OTHER DE-"*

OK STOP. STOP.

You'd be happy. Ok. Great.

Where is that happiness coming from ? Think. Where is it coming fr-

*" IT CAME FROM ME MANIFESTING MY D-"*

**Covers your mouth**

WHERE IS THIS HAPPINESS LOCATED ? The satisfaction you feel is coming from the same place it's currently located, and where it IS, RIGHT NOW.

YOU. YOU ARE GENERATING THIS HAPPINESS. YOU FEEL IT BECAUSE YOU "Have what you desire ".

What if I told you that your "desire" is really just a self-imposed condition ?

Meaning, your conscious mind is telling you, "I will generate happiness once I have these things in the 3d. When I have 1 billion if these units of currency to buy 3d things, and see 3d things, and do 3d things, I will then be happy in the 4D."* See the issue ? This is not a money thing. It's a desire thing. Desire tends to condition your *I AM* 's state of being. Desire is antithetical to satiety. You cannot be satisfied when you're desiring.

Desire is you conditioning your satisfaction on outer circumstances. Desire and satisfaction are INNER/4D/SPIRITUAL/Whatever you want to call them - concepts.

Here's an example:

"I desire an **X (3d)**. I will not be **happy (4d)** untill I have this **X (3d)**."

These 4D states hinge on the 3D. See the problem ? The state of happiness/satisfaction is an Inner state. Meaning it's always there. It's always been there. It cares nothing about your "money" or "SP". Your objective (3D) mind is giving your *I AM* (4D) permission to feel these states, once conditions have been met in the 3d. Neville teaches the "Law of Reversability/Assumption". The state of the wish fulfilled as a state devoid of desire. This is why so much emphasis is put, in so many schools of thought, on being/living **without** desire.

"* When ye pray, believe ye have received, and ye shall receive.*"

The annihilation of desire naturally follows the belief that you have received.

Peace, satiety, satisfaction, and lack of desire are the result of you having what you desire. They are the logical conclusion. The penultimate states. However, you MUST be aware, THESE THINGS EXIST WITHIN YOU RIGHT NOW. THESE ARE NOT SUBJECT TO YOUR DESIRE. You can and Must feel this NOW, in spite of what the 3D shows. This is key to triggering the reversibility. We experience to feel. The law states that we must feel to experience. Not one person seeks money for money. If I told you that you could have what you want for free, you wouldn't want money anymore.

You want the state that the money/SP will put you in. These things are middle-men that we, as the human-race, have deified. The deity is within. Not without. We have these states already. As we enter those states and live in them, the outer changes to conform.

"1 John 4:4

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

He who is in the world, tends to give permission to he who is in you, to BE, when 3D CONDITIONS are "just right". **BEING** isn't subject to time or outer circumstances.

After answering prayers, Jesus often told people to *"..Go in peace.."*. This wasn't just a formality or him saying "lol ttyl bruh". These were **instructions**. He didnt say this for no reason. These words are often disregarded as a civil nicety. He didn't say *"..go look for proof of your manifestation in the 3d now.*" PEACE was what they were to go in. PEACE, meaning in a state of FULFILMENT, SATISFACTION DESIRELESSNESS. Going in peace, was the last step of the prayer, that people tend NOT to do, thus never bringing their prayer outward. It's like making a pizza and never putting it in the oven. Or typing a message and never clicking "send". Going "in peace" is PART of the process.

This is supposed to be your state in SATS. It's the answer to the question of "what would it be like ?" **Peace** is always the answer. You need to feel satisfied.

#neville goddard #nevillegoddard #neville #manifesation

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yariktrapov · 7 months

Text

Hiiii. It me. I'm traumadumping onto nothingness don't mind me.

I think i'm playing the victum and fishing for pity.

I stopped being friends with my bestest friend ever the day after my birthday. It was heartbreaking, but not unexpected. I loved her at some point. I was completely obsessed with her. She was like a symbol to me. A symbol of love. A goddess of love. I kid you not i prayed to her at the darkest times.

I saw no flaws, the world was like a opioid-induced dream: hazy and uncontrollable. I never told her i love her like that. I was too afraid to lose her.

I was so afraid to lose her i mourned in advance the day we go our separate ways. And honestly i'm glad i did. I think i'd go insane on that day if i didn't.

I started losing my affection and noticing the flaws when she cut her hair. Such a menial detail but it showed me that nothing is forever. And neither is that symbol.

And before that she was getting closer with our other friend. I was so... not jealous. No, i was posessive. I wanted to be her only best friend. And i showed it. And i spoke it. And i shut it down with so much restraint i don't know if i even should have done it. I JUST GAVE UP! I REGRET IT SO MUCH I STILL LOVE HER AND NOW I'M HURTING BECAUSE I AM NOT HER FRIEND ANYMORE AND I WISH I WAS I WISH I WAS BETTER I WISH I WAS MORE AWARE OF THE SITUATION AND I THINK SHE HATES ME EVEN THOUGH SHE WOULD NEVER TELL ME BECAUSE DISLIKES CONFLICT AND IS KIND LIKE THAT.

We broke up in text. I asked to meet in person but she said she didn't want to waste time. I think there was some bite in that. Was i a waste of time? I thought we liked the comfort of eachothe but maybe it was just me.

Maybe she figured me out and this 'will they won't they' got on her nerves.

I also just didn't spend time with her lately. I just sat on my fucking phone and did nothing to learn her interests. And i know she tried to learn my and i appreciated it but i did not return it.

Because i was so tired.

I was so so tired of everything.

And because i couldn't get over it i lost everything!

I lost my best friend, i lost all my friends actually. I lost my motivation to study, i lost so much money, i lost my fucking best friend! The best thing to ever happen to me! My savior! All because i was a fucking slob who couldn't get over herself and just wallowed in self-pity like i do right now!

She didn't hug me today.

And before that. A year ago. She didn't hug me.

She probably hates me.

She hugged our other friends.

And i was like a stranger to her.

At least she looked me in the eyes. That was nice.

It also hurt like hell. Seeing her and being unable to touch.

Knowing she's there but she doesn't want to spend time on me. No, not spend. Waste.

I'm glad i was worth wasting time on me before. It's an honour, no sarcasm, really.

Because i'm totally a waste of time.

I don't do anything. I just talk the same thing over and over and over just to spend more time with you and to forget everything else around me. I just spaced out and was in this hazy state where nothing matters as long as i'm there with her. It probably pissed her off.

I actually put effort into conversation today!

I didn't forget myself once! I didn't space out, like i did before. I didn't repeat myself. I hope she enjoyed listening to my stories. I hope we will be friends sometime in the future again. Please be my friend in the future i'm so sorry i was so lazy i'm so sorry i love you so much and i'm sure it's not romantic anymore, i'm sure it's 100% platonic now because i don't want to marry you, i don't want to live in the city with you. I want to be far away from the city.

We have different love types. We have different expectations from life. We have different political views and we fought over it before. But you're still the most precious person ever to me and i want to be your friend so much! I'll spend my time to get better. I still love you so so much. I swear i love you.

I don't want to be the best friend i just want to be in your life! I'm so sorry i'm so sorry please forgive me i love you so much. I love you so fucking much you have no idea.

If you're mad at me...

I don't know. I hope it goes away with time.

I hope you tell me why you're mad so i could apologise and prove i'm better now.

I hope you'd give me a second chance later.

I love you so fucking much and just because you didn't hug me it hurts so fucking much. I felt a fucking pand in my heart. I

I know you won't love me the way i love you.

And i don't want you to. I think.

I just hope i can be in your life. Please.

Give me a year or two. I'll become better.

-I want to write 'promice' but i'm too scared i won't keep it. So i'll write 'hope'.-

I hope.

And i know you don't want to hurt people but sometimes i think you're lying. I think you do want to hurt those who hurt you. Your dad, your grandad, his family... and now me. I know i may be stupid, but that's what i feel right now.

Fuck.

I hope i'm wrong.

And if i'm right i hope you'll forgive me.

I love you so much.

You're not a symbol but a person now. And i'm so thankful i met you in my life. And i want to be by your side. I want to be

Fuck.

I want to repay you. You've done so much and i just took it with nothing to give back.

I didn't even try to give back.

I was such a terrible and lazy friend. How did you even stand me?

I'll change. I pppprromise. I promise. It's only been a week or two since i started actively working on myself. I promise i'll change. If not for you, then for myself. I know i need it.

I won't have any expectations. It's your decision to accept me or not, to give me the second chance ir not.

I love you either way.

You deserve it.

You saved me without knowing it.

I would have probably gave up if it wasn't for you.

I know i tried once before and the only thing that stopped me was fear. And then the saddest fucking hope ever.

And you proved hoping wasn't for nothing.

You proved life is worth living.

You are the bestest friend anyone could ask for.

You have the most beautiful soul, no wonder i considered you an angel.

I love you with the purest intentions i could muster.

I love you

I love you so much

I love hurting for you

I love you

I love you so fucking much

And you know i hate the words 'i love you' but for you they sound different. They feel different. Genuine. Pure.

I love you

And knowing that somewhere in the past you genuinly cared for me. That you loved me too.... it helps. I know i can be loved truly. I know i had it before. I'm not counting on it now. I'm not trying to regain it again. I'm cherishing the moments ingrained im my memory.

I love you

You were my last resort always and the knowledge that i had such a great friend helped me countless times. Even when we were falling apart. Right untill the very end. Just the thought of you made my day better. Made me stay away from the edge.

I love you

I hope somewhere deep in your heart you have some fondness for me too. It doesn't have to be this deep at all. Just something. A good memory with me that you remember semi-frequently. A thing that reminds you of me. Something that makes you smile.

You have such a big heart i hope some part of me can still fit in there.

I love you so much.

I hope you keep trying your best.

I hope nothing bad ever happens to you.

I hope there's people who can protect you.

I hope there's people similar to you who love you.

I wish all the best to you. I love you.

I love you so fucking much.

#День Рожденья #trauma dump

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damabelladonna · 24 days

Text

I have some things to say

If you believe in my art and make it recognized, I love you.

If my art is simply not known.. well.. if you have seen it, believe in it please.

Girls, please don't follow in my footsteps

Children listen to adults

And to my father, if I don't give up on leaving here until you return, please forgive me, don't let my departure shake you, you have to be strong.

Diana, you have an incredible future, never forget that

Caio, you will be able to move up in life and your arrogance doesn't make you bad or anything like that.

Grandma... Pray for me, You were incredible.

Grandma, I never met you, but I won't forget you

For my pets, mommy loves you, I will hug you from the other side.

Mom, I should have followed your advice, but ... Whatever, goodbye.

Cristiane, maybe I'm right but don't let that change anything.

Psychologist, well you were good, thanks for it.

Requests:

Make me remembered

Save the world for me

Share my art

Give me a nice funeral

Alex I'm just going to say goodbye to you. Malri, I would like you to come to my show.

A no thanks to: Sabrina, Isabelly and all the fucking "friends" that I have in 2019-2022 except for Maria.

Erick I missed you

Homage:

Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy, sol pais, Sarah m, a.h, John Wayne, Jeffrey Dahmer, Robert maldsley and all the sk.

School people: You weren't nearly killed.

#hell is a teenage girl #female manipulator #girlhood #im just a girl #coquette #female rage #lana del rey aka lizzy grant #girlblogging #coquette girl #goodbye

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the-firebird69 · 7 months

Text

Asteroid Bennu: The space rock that almost swallowed a spacecraft | Space

And yeah they're up to no good they want to try and redirect it and with smaller retro rockets and overtime and try to abandon one and the international community said for them to pick it up it's $600 ft across and they're about 10,000 lasers that can vaporize it in a few seconds and most because it's kind of flammable but it's he's right it's an odd object. And Hera is listening and it is me Osiris and I'm a goddess so she says my time is running out of the commentary I will say this there are a few objects that they look at closely this one they're looking at inordinately closely and it's part of a giant and it was our son's granddaddy's clones from Mars, they were using devices to leave Mars in an effort to escape and we're hit and exploded and their parts are all over the place and it's gross shows his people are pigs and they die like pigs and live like pigs. And Billy z you're the biggest pig and we're going to hit you you're a moron you don't belong here billy z these people don't either but I appreciate it, it's not like your total f*** ups but you're making errors that I do not talk about and further you changed and you became dangerous to me and I don't know why you should move the ship off before they kill you. He says that and Billy is he rants and raves since probably true I can't do that it says I understand that but they will kill you and he's still talking is how do you know it's a good movie and it's not a good one he says but it's in the movie and that's the max he says I'll get them and you just stay put so you don't believe you can control himself but we do believe that the max put him up to it and they're ridiculous and they've done stuff like that forever but we believe in our son believes that they're past it and spent and it's a good sign he says they're right for plucking and it's true too that's how I speak but it's true. This is a particular body part and he says I'm helping you Hera and she knows just wants to be off the line. It looks very odd and it's strange shape lens to the fact that it doesn't seem like a body part but there are pieces of people that look like it he says maybe it's a knee cap and that's what it is so keep on going up to it because of d and he's related and they're threatening our son.

Osiris

That's good she's helping it's a good decision she said the whole thing but really I'm up here alone and you're talking to people and those are real people and I'm saying it and you say good you're insane like me and against fierce but that's your mother grandmother I think and she says no she's my grandmother so I do see that and I thank her I really needed this I could say a lot but he says they know that I'm in trouble and under duress but they also know that I'm feeling a little better for a few reasons I like that too the castle is helping me and I guess we're going to rub it in a little and they don't know what it is or who built it there's some things that are stupid in life one of them is Ron Felder the other is Mike goodhue and the other is Mike benedetto and Mr shippy Chris kroll and yeah Alan the same people but Bob borghetti and d. Other people like that too. I'm starting to get happy again and excited and he says that he might hope and pray and wish to leave inside the castle in some way and they say they can arrange that with the second item and others are saying no and he says how am I supposed to escape it is he said seriously how am I supposed to really what are you supposed to do go over here now go down there no thanks it is funny. You'll have us captured in the house that's great you thought about it I was there it was real quick. And we love each other but this is great because he cuts things in a certain way and build a certain way and car things in a certain way and and I built it but he builds a lot of things by himself and uses Derek's and lives and machines and the two are talking about it and it started laughing and said this is a mystery. Mike did you went to a few seances and Ron valdenna as well and they went to see some crystal ball readers and card readings and said just not saying it now they know what it is Jesus Christ was a carpenter and he has certain markings they're different than my husband's on similar work and they want to see the castle

Hera

Zues

Olympus

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