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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 month

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By: Céline Calame

Published: Mar 13, 2024

Last year, I made one of the biggest changes of my life when I decided to stop trying to disguise my sex. A few days after my 28th birthday would have marked ten years since I began injecting testosterone. I had always thought I would feel at peace with that milestone, so deep in my so-called “authentic life.”

Heading home from work one day in February 2023, I stopped to look at the newspaper stand, where a headline about Jamie Reed blowing the whistle on “gender medicine” at the St. Louis Children’s Hospital caught my eye. As I read the article, it shook me to my core how much I related to each and every line. I myself had used the phrase, “Would you rather have a dead daughter or a living son?” on my mother, a phrase I had heard online, a phrase apparently recited by medical professionals to distraught parents. I was horrified to realize I was not the only one who had gone down this path as a minor.

I had already stopped taking testosterone several months prior, fearing medical complications. Despite my facial hair, as my body fat began to redistribute I began to be correctly sexed by confused men in public restrooms. I debated my next step. My little niece had only ever known me as her “uncle,” since my husband and I lived outwardly as a happy “gay” couple. Having grown a beard and undergone a double mastectomy, I continued pretending to be a man… but did I want to?

* * *

As a child growing up in Alabama, I simply thought life would be better if I were a boy: I wouldn’t get stared at in the video game aisles or made fun of for liking sports. Never mind that if I were a boy, other boys would have judged me for my Care Bear collection and my affinity for Barbies. Each night I prayed and every year I made birthday wishes to one day wake up as a boy with not a soul having any recollection to the contrary.

And yet in some ways I did not really mind being a girl. Our neighbor loved to tease my sister and me by yelling to us, “Hey, boys!” which was met without fail each time with: “WE’RE GIRLS, MARK!” In truth, I was less of a classic tomboy and more of a healthy young girl who did not let stereotypes dictate her life. I didn’t worry about my body until I learned about the ways others changed theirs. My issue was that everyone around me seemed obsessed with separating boys and girls by telling us what hobbies or friends we were allowed to have, something I did not understand.

When I first went online, in 2006 or 2007, I was about 10 years old. At first I mostly played dress-up games. Eventually I learned that I could look up questions I had, which led me to Yahoo! Answers. I wound up on the LGBT section of the site, where I asked if I could be “a boy inside” even if I loved my long hair, liked my “girly” clothes and hobbies, and didn’t really mind being called a girl. The answer was, bizarrely, a resounding “yes.” Several of the responses even gave me resources: forums I had absolutely no business being on, full of adults trying to change their sex, as well as webcomics glamorizing medicalization.

I learned to hide things from my family and to judge them negatively for not being able to understand or accept the complexity of “gender identity.” How could they deny that I was a boy inside? How could they deny “gender” might exist in shades of gray? Adults online told me that males who said they did not “feel like guys” were only saying so because they “never had to think about gender” the way I did.

My mother, at her wit’s end with how much I had gone silent towards her, did the only thing she could think to do: She read my diary. The first page of this new journal was dedicated to the logistics of stuffing my underwear with rolled-up socks to create a phallic bulge while still needing to use the girls’ locker room at school… my mother confronted me angrily, asking me how long I had been doing all these things to look like a boy. I completely shut her out, my trust in her shattered. I decided never to tell her about things going on in my life, such as self-harm, sexual abuse from a neighbor that made me ashamed of my own body, and the isolation I felt as a result of my hereditary progressive hearing loss.

My mother took away my “boy clothes” and refused to let me cut my hair. She would threaten to send me to all-girls schools. Several times she followed me to the store to ensure I was not buying duct tape, which she learned I was using to flatten my chest, or shaving razors, because she knew I was no longer shaving but instead self-harming. All of these things pushed me further away. My story finally looked more like the desperate stories of other teenagers in my boat, with families who fought every step of the way against gender ideology.

One day, realizing that my mother sometimes used male pronouns in front of me but used female pronouns when talking to anyone else, I came to the horrifying conclusion that I would never be accepted by my family as the opposite sex. Everyone online told me that suicide rates for “transgender” teens were sky-high, that without “transition” death would be my only relief. I attempted to take my own life. The tides turned in my favor: I never heard my birth name again, and was exclusively referred to as male.

Years later, when I wanted to back out, I remembered how hard it was to convince her in the first place.

* * *

At age 14 I found a gender therapist in Montgomery and emailed her, explaining that I was uncertain if anyone would let me medicalize my body because I was “a little nonbinary.” She told me I would be surprised at how open-minded she was. I began saving up money to see her. Every single penny was pinched with the goal of one day using it all to “transition.” I did not do anything fun with my friends or create savings goals for adulthood.

At age 17, I finally had an appointment with her. She made sure to schedule it for the same day as a group meeting where I met another 17-year-old girl who was already on testosterone and a man pretending to be a woman who did most of the talking while we both sat there shyly, silently.

I spent all of twenty to thirty minutes telling my story, leaving out details regarding my nebulous sense of “identity” as tumblr had suggested and instead highlighting that I had “lived as male” for a few years at that point. The therapist asked why I had come to see her, since I “sounded so sure” of myself. I needed to see a therapist in order to be prescribed cross-sex hormones, I said. She turned to her computer, entering my name into a form pre-filled for just this purpose. She handed me a printed copy, saying she would also submit my referral to an endocrinologist who worked in the same building. I was floored. Was it really going to be this easy?

When I saw the endocrinologist he was alarmed that I had listed lithium, a mood stabilizer, as a medication I took. I explained that I had mood swings but that I had full consent from everyone to begin hormones. He was uncomfortable and wanted letters from my parents and psychiatrist, but then ignored these letters after I submitted them.

Sometime during the following year, I dragged my mother to the probate judge to change my legal name. She sat there, looking desolate and defeated as I assured the judge that she fully consented. He told me he could not in good faith assist a minor attempting to lie about her sex.

A few days after turning 18, I returned to the endocrinologist, having never seen the gender therapist past that first appointment. On the basis of “informed consent,” he could not turn me down: as long as I said that I was aware of all the risks and side effects, and accepted them as par for course, I would be prescribed cross-sex hormones. Did I understand the medical risks of what I was doing? Sort of. All of the side effects meant nothing to me because I had been told online that the alternative was a life of misery and eventual inevitable suicide. It would be years before I saw myself in Jamie Reed’s words: “All it took for them to permanently transform themselves was one or two short conversations with a therapist.”

I left with a prescription which I filled that day. The taunting at school stopped as the bullies who mocked me heard my voice crack, then drop. Facial hair sprouted. I bound my chest, sometimes with very frilly, cutesy custom-made binders. (A cupcake print one comes to mind.)

I entered college very open about the fact that I was female but wanted to be a man. I frequently wore makeup and sometimes women’s clothes, saying I was “expressing femininity as a man.” I was on every “transgender student” panel and did my best to “educate” everyone on the intricacies of people like me. I got a large tattoo to mask my breasts, thinking I’d never be able to afford a mastectomy.

At the appointment the tattoo artist asked me, her deaf client, “How do you sign MY BODY IS AMAZING?” I showed her and she turned it into a dance. It was the dance of another woman who struggled her whole life to love her body. I had begun to love mine but was still obsessed with not looking completely like either sex. This made romantic endeavors difficult because I insisted on trying to be with gay men despite not being male and no longer even making an attempt to look male.

I found out that my student health insurance covered “transition,” so I made a consultation for a “simple release” metoidioplasty because I wanted ambiguous genitalia. At the appointment, I had no sign language interpreter and did my best to understand the staff and communicate what I wanted. The surgeon asked if I wouldn’t prefer a more linear path involving a mastectomy first. The nurse shook her own breasts at me while looking at my chest, eagerly smiling to indicate that the doctor was right. Uncomfortable, I took off my shirt. The surgeon assured me that my tattoo would remain totally intact and that because I was so small-chested the mastectomy could be done with the keyhole method, leaving me without scarring.

The day of the surgery, I kept wondering if something would go wrong. If my insurance would suddenly fall through. If my ride home would cancel, thus necessitating we reschedule the whole thing. Instead everything went very smoothly. Everyone assured me that when I woke up, I would be happy.

A few days later in my dorm room, seeing my new chest unbandaged for the first time, I could hardly remember having breasts. I thought this meant it was the right thing to do. In hindsight, it was trauma. I was 21 and had no idea that my breasts would not grow back if I stopped testosterone. Prior to the operation, I told my therapist I might one day have a child and want to breastfeed my baby, but we never followed up on that thread.

Post-mastectomy, I got a vaguely worded letter from the surgeon expressing that my sex had been “changed” and that I was now “physically male.” My birth certificate and driver’s license were amended to reflect this lie.

I was not unhappy, per se, but taking cross-sex hormones is like trying to install a Windows operating system onto an Apple computer. You can certainly do it, but the machine is not equipped to deal with that. I had already been through female puberty. My bone structure would never look male. I would never gain muscle the same way men do. I began struggling with my eating disorder much more severely following my mastectomy because I saw my stomach sticking out so much further than my now-flat chest. I developed vaginal atrophy and cervical problems which I am only just beginning to have treated because I avoided gynecologists for so long.

After meeting him on a gay dating website and falling in love, I married a man in 2019. We moved to the Midwest and I did something I always thought I wanted: I went totally “incognito” about being transgender, and let everyone believe me to be wholly male. Instead, I felt empty inside for years. I could never be wholly truthful about my childhood. My husband was privately uncertain how it was possible for me to “feel like a man” and later admitted to being terrified of the medical experimentation I was undergoing. He loved me dearly as his “husband,” and was willing to refer to me as such regardless of whether or not I medicalized myself. He expressed what my family was by then afraid to: How long would I live?

* * *

After reading an article about Jamie Reed in our local paper, I researched detransition. I had been taught to see people who stopped lying about their sex as self-hating, “transphobic,” or even rare cases of other issues being mistaken for “genuine gender dysphoria.”

What I found was so different from what I had been told: thousands of people who had been prescribed cross-sex hormones after a single appointment, many never seeing a therapist even once. Hundreds of women whose breasts had been removed without ever being asked why they wanted that. People whose healthy genitals had been mutilated to poorly approximate those of the opposite sex. So many who really did at some point–or even still–struggle with the desire to be the opposite sex, an impossible endeavor.

The future was uncertain to me. I was nearly 30 and had lived half my life lying about my sex. There was no adult woman I could return to being.

Was there?

Hundreds of people told me that even if I had lived my whole life pretending to be male, detransition did not mean “going back” to anything. It meant stopping the medicalization and the lies. It meant starting over. It meant moving forward.

I planned to wait a year before publicly detransitioning as a way of “serving penance” (a coping strategy my husband suggested, knowing the guilt I felt about my medicalization) and to avoid being perceived as a man pretending to be a woman. I wore women’s clothing at home, along with breast forms, which took an insane amount of courage because I felt like I was crossdressing as a woman despite being female.

One day, I snapped. I felt miserable going to work every day living a lie and absolutely could not continue to handle the frustration of dealing with a period in the men’s restrooms. I told my HR director about my situation, expecting shock. I expected a few slow weeks of telling managers, then coworkers, eventually changing my name tag and restroom habits. Instead, she was completely unsurprised. Expressing that she would support whatever timeline I wanted, she reassured me that absolutely no one would be uncomfortable with me in the women’s restroom.

I changed my name tag that very day and told all of my coworkers through a handwritten note that I passed to them with shaking hands. Not one was fazed. Most reacted with great positivity and support. A few asked me privately why I had “transitioned” in the first place and I told them very honestly: I was groomed by adults online and felt trapped in my decisions. The last decade of my life had been the epitome of sunk-cost fallacy.

Gender ideology ruined my childhood. I wonder today what would have happened had I never been exposed to the rhetoric online or had therapists pressed me about where I was getting these ideas. Today I know that being a woman is just about being female. It has nothing to do with the way she dresses, the way she sits, or the way she walks, talks, and lives her life. My mother is relieved to have her daughter back.

One day my in-laws came to visit while I was wearing breast prosthetics and feminine clothing. My husband and I expected bewilderment that never came. After a few hours of aimless conversation, I told them that if they weren’t going to ask why I suddenly looked like a woman, then I would just have to tell them. I was met with love and support, but wondered if I should say anything about the hole I saw their daughter falling down.

My teenage sister-in-law had brought her sketchbook over to show me her drawings: large-breasted anime characters that she insisted were male. Later, I texted her about my detransition to which she responded with her desire to be a boy, her involvement in the same Internet circles I had fallen for, and her intentions to look more masculine. I see myself in her: She is ashamed of her body and the Internet has already told her this means she is “a boy inside.”

I wrote this for her but she is unwilling to read it.

I’ll be there for her when she’s ready.

About the Author

Céline Calame is an aspiring literacy specialist for deaf children in the Midwest. She volunteers with Women’s Declaration International USA, having joined its Desisted & Detransitioned Women’s Caucus in 2024.

#Céline Calame #detrans #detransition #Jamie Reed #gender ideology #gender identity ideology #queer theory #intersectional feminism #medical scandal #medical corruption #medical mutilation

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xellandria · 9 months

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In late July 2001, I was noodling around with the idea of taking my characters and world and sanding off the labels of the fandom(s) that had inspired them so I could more thoroughly play with them as my own spaces, and one of the things that needed a change at that point was my self-insert's "love interest" (I cannot put nearly enough air quotes on that one, as even back then I had no interest in a physical relationship, which the phrase implied at the time). July 28, 2001: enter Allex a gender-swapped version of Xella, who was herself originally a gender-swapped version of the character I was infatuated with at the time. Allex eventually got fleshed out into Alex, who in turn eventually got both his own backstory and personality and a handful of his own derivative characters over the years.

Twenty two years later(!!), Alex is finally getting an outfit update and an official ref sheet. Of the characters in Bowspirit's Aim (that oft-neglected webcomic that I swear I will go back to One Of These Days™), he's definitely my favourite, my previous baby, my absolute bean himbo idiot, the personification of that one voice in my head when I get into arguments with myself, the voice of reason and eye-roller supreme. And yet it took me 22 years to actually make him a ref sheet. That's life for you, lmao.

Anyway, happy upcoming RL birthday, Alex! We'll see if I feel like redrawing that original picture any time soon, rofl.

#xellart #original characters #alex #bowspirit's aim #artists on tumblr

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mixtapestar · 10 months

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fic rec fun

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

Thanks @freneticfloetry for the tag! I’m sure OP intended Lone Star creators but now we’ve broken containment, so let’s see what I’ve got...

Most Hits: permission to touch - Heartstopper (Nick/Charlie, 3k, Explicit) "Do you know what you want to do for your birthday?" Nick asks suddenly. / "You," Charlie blurts out. So this fic actually qualifies for the first four categories. It’s a first time fic written for Yuletide in 2020 based on the webcomic, and when the TV series premiered on Netflix, everyone and their beta found it. I am proud of this one, definitely happy in retrospect that I re-read the entire series so far before I wrote it.

Most Kudos: written in the scars on our hearts - Teen Wolf (Derek/Stiles, 21k, Explicit) When Stiles needs a roommate as he starts college, he decides Derek is the perfect candidate. He knows college is supposed to change your life, but this is ridiculous. Domestic future fic. My ‘and they were roommates!’ fic that I wrote in the hiatus after season 2. I had so much fun putting this one together, and I even had quite a lot written for a companion Scott/Isaac fic, but I think S3 derailed me from ever finishing that one.

Most Comments: shout whenever (I’ll be there) - Ted Lasso (Roy/Keeley/Jamie, 26k, Explicit) "I was wonderin' if you might… teach me? / "Roy can only stare back at him. Teach him… what, how to pull? How to fuck? Roy must be dreaming, because there's no way in hell the Jamie Tartt he knows has the bollocks or the self-awareness to ask him for such a thing. Jamie's eyes only seem to get rounder the longer Roy looks at him, as if he's growing more hopeful of a positive answer. That particular delusion snaps Roy out of it. "No. Fuck no. Why the fuck would I wanna do that?" MY BABES! 🙌🏻 HUGE thanks to @rubickk7 for prompting me for this in an exchange when I was newly done watching the (then) two seasons and needed to get my feelings out via fic.

Most Bookmarks: marked restraint - Harry Potter (Harry/Draco, 12.5k, Explicit) In the early hours of July 31, 1996, Draco shoots awake and soon discovers his soulmark. The trouble only continues from there. I love writing soulmarks so much! Had a lot of fun playing off the ‘destiny’ aspect with these two especially.

Most Words: every turn a surprise - Bandom (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer/Jon, 56k, Explicit) When Brendon is 10 years old, weird things start happening. He quickly discovers his ability to read minds, and then he spends several years at the Academy, learning how to control it. After he is forced to run away to avoid being drafted for his ability, he gets hired onto a spaceship, where he meets Spencer, Ryan, and Jon. Things just get crazier from there, especially when he starts to fall in love with more than one of his coworkers. Oh man. This fic was a work in progress for so long that I was on my way out of bandom by the time I posted it. But it’s got so much worldbuilding and fun stuff in it. I feel like one day I’m likely to pull it and convert it into an Original Work.

Least Words: fun - Boy Meets World (Jack/Eric, 100 words, Explicit) Jack had never been with someone who made him laugh as much as Eric. I’ve written quite a lot of drabbles, actually, but this is one of my favs.

Tagging @valonia47, @goldiegaytime, @footnotesandendings, @richmondtillidie!

#fic related #writing #fic meme

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ottokallenhonkai3rd · 6 days

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⚜ ℐ𝓈 𝒪𝓉𝓉ℴ ℴ𝒷𝓈ℯ𝓈𝓈ℯ𝒹 ⚜

Antis describe Otto as obsessive or simp, who is after Kallen and doesn't respect her love for Sakura. ~*~ To answer the question... Yes. Otto is obsessed. But not for Kallen's love, but for Kallen's life.

He says that himself and is aware of it. And this “obsession” can be traced back to a profound fear of loss that runs throughout “Elan Palatinus”.

Otto's view of the world underlines why he desperately wants to bring Kallen back to life:

When you truly want to change the world, you will discover how pitiable your own strength is. The Holy Maid gave her all to the people, and was repaid with merciless shackles und nooses. The world is at chaos. It´s neither fair nor sensible. It wrongs heroes and breeds scum. It is rife with ugliness without a trace of beauty. The malice of the world shal be sundered- by the villain. - Thus spoke Apocalypse Here he clearly denounces, how the people Kallen wanted to protect are repaying her. This makes it clear that he perceives Kallen as a good person, even a heroine, and most of humanity as crude and ugly. And Kallen is very important to him. This may be due to his childhood, in which he was not treated well by his family and Kallen was the first person who showed him anything like appreciation. Yes. Otto definitely has feelings for Kallen. This was mentioned in "Honkai Chonicles - Otto Apocalypse", as well as in game. But Sanka Saga shows that these don't play a role.

This event recreates an alternate version in which Kallen follows the path that Otto did out of love for Sakura. In this event, Otto intentionally binds Kallen to Sakura and Yae Village so that she does not return to Schicksal and be executed. If Otto only cared about Kallen's love, he would have accepted this risk rather than leaving her with her bElOvEd Sakura. ~*~ And if we're already talking about Sakura and Antis mostly prefer SakuKallen, I'll say something to the lady now.

If the worn-out fake version of your passionate love tells you that you're a little obsessive, then there's something to it. You might not get it that way because Kallen's story is a shambles. But Kallen intended to return to Schicksal. It's being teased in Sanka Saga...

As well as in "The Gratitude Arc" and also in "Dark Sakura Tales". This webcomic only exists on the Chinese HI3 site and appears in "The Gratitute Arc", "Divine Key" and "Elan Palatinus".

In this webcomic you also get to see a completely different side of Sakura. You can tell that she can't cope with Kallen leaving her and would prefer to keep her with her. "In many dreams she had dreamt of making you belong only to her. She thought, she had found her own beacon of light. But that Light chose to shine on otheers instead." In Gun Girls Z there is an alternate story in which, under the Herrscher's influence, she actually forces Kallen to stay with her.

Happy Birthday "Kallen..." "..." "Kallen..." "..." Why don't you answer me...? Obviously or "Your" pupils will no longer reflect other people's figures "Your" body temperature will no longer be passed to other people. "You" already belong to me alone … It doesn't matter……. It doesn't matter. That's enough. "Sakura...don't..." ——As long as I can still see "your" smile "Don't want……" ——As long as I can still feel the presence of "you" "Don't want……" ——As long as "you" are still by my side I will be very happy I turned you into this soulless doll. This is the best birthday gift. Thank you, love. Source ~*~ But let´s make a Checklist:

A constant need for validation from the person you are in love with Otto: Could be. Sakura: No.

Obsessively keeping in contact with the subject of your affection Otto: No. Sakura: I see this problem with Sakura. "But that light chose t shine on others instead" and the fact that she consciously decided to stay in the stigma world with a fake Kallen.

Ignoring the personal boundaries of the subject of your affection Otto: No. Sakura: No.

Behaving in a controlling manner with the person you love Otto: No. Sakura: Under the control of the Herrscher, yes. Bullet point soulless doll.

Feeling extreme jealousy of other relationships the person you love might have with other people Otto: No. Sakura: "BuT tHaT lIgHt ChOsE tO sHiNe On OtHeRs InStEaD.

Feeling overly protective of the person you love Otto: Yes. Look the secound screenshot. Sakura: No.

Becoming so overwhelmed with emotions about a person that it disrupts your daily functioning Otto: No. Sakura: No.

Feelings of low self-esteem, especially when it seems like your love isn’t being reciprocated Otto: Low-selfesteem, yes. With regard of Kallens reciprocated, no. Sakura: No.

Refusal to engage in social activities that don’t involve the subject of your affection Otto: No. Sakura: Yes. Because she chose to stay in the stigma world with fake balls instead of returning to life.

Feeling extremely possessive of the other person’s time, space, and attention Otto: No. Sakura: No.

Feeling a need to control the actions and behaviors of the person you supposedly love Otto: Already a little. Even if it was out of his fear of loss. Sakura: Under the controll of the Herrscher, yes.

Experiencing anxiety over your relationship with this person Otto: No Sakura: No.

I gave one point for each “maybe” or “other circumstances.” Therefore, Sakura and Otto would be on equal terms when it comes to obsessive behavior. ~*~ Still, I think Sakura is much more obsessive and her obsession, unlike Otto's obsession, is really about Kallen's love. Strange that he is still basically the simp and Sakura is completely innocent.

#honkai impact #honkaimpact3rd #kallen kaslana #ottokallen #otto apocalypse #gun girls z #houkai gakuen #honkai impact 3rd

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vvivacious101 · 2 years

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Heartstopper <3

I have been following Heartstopper since early 2019 and it’s been a quiet part of my life for these three years and more.

I really like Nick and Charlie and Heartstopper is just such a happy story, even when it talks about serious issues it manages to do so with optimism and hope, there is always this feeling that things will get better.

Then Heartstopper got picked up for a TV adaptation and I’m not a fan of adaptations. I have realised that I like it better if I witness the adaptation first and then go to the source material then vice versa. Whenever I love something that is being adapted I for the most part am not super enthusiastic. So, even though I knew there was a TV adaptation for Heartstopper coming out, it still completely caught me unaware.

I first started hearing about Heartstopper around April 24th only to realise that the show was already out and when it really became obvious that the feedback was nothing but positive, I realised I should probably check it out and Oh My God! it’s so good!!

With any great adaptation there are changes that need to happen and the same is the case with Heartstopper, even though the show completely captures the tone of the comic, it still needed to add a little more story to have the whole thing be substantial enough for eight episodes.

My absolute favourite part of the show was the animations they were so well done, they enhanced the story while tying it back to the source material. Best decision ever!!

Also, I loved the fact that they compare Nick to a golden retriever so early on because that has to be the most apt description of Nick ever.

Heartstopper season 1 (I’m pretty optimistic we are getting a second one) covers volumes 1 & 2 of the graphic novel and chapters 1, 2 & 3 of the webcomic. There was a lot of plot added but I think my favourite moments were those that were copied word by word from the comics. So let’s get into what changed –

Missing Characters:

I love Ollie and I was really disappointed that they got rid of Charlie’s younger brother, I understand why they did it because Ollie being a kid doesn’t really contribute much to the story but still Ollie is adorable and I can’t believe we have no one around to tackle hug Charlie.

Another thing that happened is that Christian, Sai and Omar who are Nick’s rugby friends are more prominent in the comics but they actually don’t exist in the TV adaptation. This was a change that I really didn’t notice going in but I’m curious if they will give Nick more friends/classmates in the future.

Changed Characters:

This is the one change I really don’t understand and I’m really curious to find out what the reasoning behind it was. Aled is missing from the TV adaptation, he has been replaced by Isaac. Now, this was very curious to me they could have still called the character Aled but they didn’t. Aled actually has his own story in the Heartstopper universe which makes it even more curious why they didn’t keep him as a character.

Altered Plot:

I feel for the most part the TV adaptation adds plot lines but there is one significant change in plot line. In the comics Ben actually confronts Charlie when Nick finds them and Nick is the one who is curious about how Charlie knows Ben because Ben is a dick. In the TV show, the scene is altered to contrast Nick and Charlie’s relationship to Ben and Charlie’s relationship and that was pretty cool but I feel this is the only instance in which a plot point was altered to great effect.

There are minor alterations to the plot like how Ben and Charlie don’t meet in the morning but instead meet up at break and other alterations that come in because of the added plot lines.

Additional Plot:

There is so much added plot to beef up the chapters so that they can be spread out over eight episodes.

First of all, Tara and Darcy along with Tao and Elle have hefty plotlines, we learn a lot more about Elle which is something I love because in the comics Elle only shows up for the first time at Charlie’s birthday party and same for Tara and Darcy they also show up a whole lot earlier in the show and have their own plot lines.

In the comics, when we first meet Tara she is already out but the show changed that to her just beginning to come out and that was brilliant, similarly with Tao and Elle. We actually see the beginnings of their relationship in the show which was also really cool.

I feel like Tara and Darcy coming out was a great moment, the kiss on the dance floor with Nick looking on is an amazing moment.

Secondly, we have Imogen, I feel like that particular plotline might be a little polarizing but I really liked what we got out of it. The scene with Nick at the park bench talking to Imogen about how he feels was so crucial because I feel like we don’t realise how much peer pressure and expectations influence us and how difficult it becomes to break the mould because of them.

Thirdly, rugby became a pretty big plot point in this one especially with the match against St John’s and then at the very end with the Sports Day match.

What Remained the Same?

These are all those moments that I am living for those small moments that got translated word for word.

a) The Pen Explosion Incident

b) “Do you want to join the Rugby team?” Scene

c) The “Tackle me, I won’t dodge.” Scene

d) The Sorry Scene (Don’t say it. I kinda want to say it)

e) The Drums Lessons Scene

f) The attempted hand holding scene followed by the you look cuddly scene followed by Tori’s sudden appearance and declaration

g) The “I’ve been looking for you” Moment

h) The Ballroom Kiss scene, the Next Day and the Rain Kiss

i) The Park Scene (though this one is bittersweet)

j) Charlie’s birthday present

k) Nick coming out to Tara

l) The Beach Date

I’m a little bit obsessed and a lot in love if you have never read the comic watch the show it’s amazing and if you are already a Heartstopper fan than I must say the adaptation does so many things so well.

#Heartstopper #mythoughts #myposts #Nick Nelson #Charlie Spring #Nick x Charlie

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yurimother · 3 years

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LGBTQ Comic Review - Amongst Us Book 1

A masterful combination of comedy, subtle romance, and incredible sensuality

I make no attempts to hide my complete admiration and infatuation with Shilin Huang's Yuri webcomic Amongst Us. The slice of life AU featuring reimagined versions of the lead characters from fantasy series Carciphona as a lesbian couple has held a special place in my heart for a long time. I named the series one of the best Yuri works of the past one-hundred years, can frequently be found lurking in the author's Twitch streams, and even have a wall in my office dedicated to the artwork of the main couple (or I did before my office became a remote classroom). So, when a Kickstarter by Shilin and Hiveworks Comics launched promising a print version of the work, I was eager to support it financially and promote it with my humble platform. The Kickstarter took place in March, and books were initially estimated for release in May of 2020. However, as you have probably realized by the dates alone, the world went very South around this time. A combination of disruptions from the COVID-19 pandemic, a healthy amount of bad luck, and what I am inclined to believe, for various reasons, was some awful mismanagement by Hiveworks led to numerous delays. Indeed, by the time the book finally shipped, I had moved, so my copy arrived a little later as it had to be forwarded. But, at the end of this frustrating and anticipation-building event, I finally have the volume in my hands, and it was worth the wait. While I adore the webcomic, this gorgeous print volume completely enthralls me. The book is absolutely the preferred way to read this spectacular comic.

Before getting into the exquisite details of Amongst Us Book 1: Soulmates, I need to take a minute to praise how well this book is put together. The paperback binding is thick and features amazing spot glass that sparkles in the light. This feature only accentuates the fantastic and bright the cover illustration of main characters Veloce and Blackbird loving holding each other is. The back cover has a simpler but more imaginative illustration of the two flying through the sky, and the character's expressions tell you everything you need to know about this fantastic, odd couple. There are a few things you will notice upon opening the volume. The first is how well Amongst Us made the challenging transition from vertical webcomic to the page. The assembly and paneling are fantastic and clear, and chapters feature stylized illustrations and title cards. You will then see the inside cover, a powerful display that perfectly contrasts the front's glowing and tender love. Finally, there is Shilin's presents moving forward and dedication, where she lovingly dedicates the book to her partner, Kristen.

I assure you, as good as the book's presentation and assembly is, the contents within are even better. Amongst Us follows Veloce and Blackbird's bombastic relationship. The two women are eccentric and striking musicians in their early twenties, and I swear you will never forget them. The slice of life storylines are, per the genre's definition, mundane and include events like shopping at the mall, riding the train, and having lunch with a friend. The charming simplicity of the story serves well to the reactions of the characters. Shilin effortlessly transitions from adorable moments of affection to explosive and hilarious comedy and irresistible and delightful moments of sexual tension; Veloce's neck and jawline alone could topple a monarchy. Often, slice of life works can become dull or repetitive, but these stories and the frequent changes in tone help the reader stay engaged and excited.

Putting slice of life aside for a moment, it is also important to note that Amongst Us is also has an interesting place within the Yuri genre, or "Girl's Love/GL" as it is often called in webcomic circles (originally an analogous term of Boy's Love). Webcomics have often been a bit more adventurous with their storylines and styles than Japanese manga. While the genre rose to popularity in the space thanks to digital manhwa and manhua, some (not all) of the Yuri tropes did not carry over between the similar mediums. Many modern webcomics and webtoons take their inspiration more from manhwa and manhua GL, which has developed its own canon and tropes over the years. However, even for a webcomic, Shilin's work feels somewhat divorced from most other worlds of Yuri. This first volume exists mainly against the Yuri genre's expectations. However, the next book, which flashes back to the couple's origin, undoubtedly is more in line with convention, for better or worse. It feels like the author decided to screw the norms and write a work that she would enjoy, and I am so glad that she did. Veloce and Blackbird are young adults, out of school in an established relationship with no drama. This (sadly) unconventional setting is made all the more irregular because of just how distinctive, and unwonted Blackbird and Veloce are.

Blackbird and Veloce, originally from the fantasy world of Carciphona, take on a new life, literally, in this wonderful modern reimagining and homage. You do not need to be a fan of the original work to enjoy their bizarre and larger-than-life personalities. Indeed, when I read Amongst Us online for the first time, I had not ever even heard of Carciphona. Veloce is the quieter and more stoic of the two, although she is not afraid of showing a more relatable and human side as she reacts to Blackbirds wild antics. Veloce's (not)straight man approach is hilariously sobering. But, her best moments are in those when she lets loose a little bit, like when she is rendered drooling by the promise of her favorite smoothie or in her stoic yet alluring flirtations with Blackbird, only to get close enough to steal a healthy chomp of ice cream.

Blackbird, on her part, is completely insane. She continuously pulls of wild antics like jumping on Veloce to surprise her or singing an especially threatening song after a glorious battle over lunch. However, she is perfectly capable of showing her love and admiration for Veloce in her own cheeky way. However, true to form, each softer or more personal moment between the two is often immediately and perfectly juxtaposed with comedy, with the apparent exception of the book's touching and thoughtful finale. Veloce and Blackbird will both more than please readers individually, but you will fall in love with them as a couple. I must have read this at least a few dozen times between the webtoon and the book, and I am just as enchanted as ever by their loud and unapologetic love.

The ordinary misadventures of Blackbird and Veloce are accompanied by genuinely astounding artwork. No, that statement does not do Shilin's illustrations justice. Veloce and Blackbird lead from the page thanks to stunning, full-color illustrations that detail every moment of hilarity. Every movement from the slightest smirk to the over-the-top dramatizations of regular events thoughtfully and beautifully sprawl across the pages and invite you to stare for hours. Shilin is the only person possible who could make something as simple as someone softly singing Happy Birthday so epic and sultry. Speaking of which, my goddess of Yuri is this work titillating. No, there are no gratuitous scenes, but just the characters leaning over each other or touching the other's chin makes my hands shake. My only small complaint is that some early chapters show their age slightly with noticeably lower quality linework and flatter colors than the dazzling and dynamic work demonstrated towards the end. Still, even on its worst day, Amongst Us looks better than most of its peers and the entirety of its many inferiors.

Amongst Us is nearly the perfect work. It has a uniquely compelling and mirth-inducing way of displaying a young yet very unordinary couple's everyday life. Its characters, from design to personality, are instantly memorable and striking. Despite being ready to rip each other's heads off at the drop of a hat, or rather because of it, Blackbird and Veloce feel the perfect and natural couple we so rarely witness. Shilin's masterful combination of comedy, subtle romance, and incredible sensuality is astounding. This book is worth it for the outstanding and vibrant artwork alone, but its combination with excellent writing create a sonorous and majestic modern romance unlike any other. I believe that Shilin has created something genuinely special here, and I can confidently say that out of the hundreds of webcomics I have read, this one is the pinnacle of its kind and my absolute favorite.

You can purchase Amongst Us book 1: Soulmates exclusively on Shilin's online shop and read the webcomic now for free on Twitter, Webtoon and Tumblr @okolnir��.

Ratings: Story – 9 Characters – 10 Art – 10 LGBTQ – 8 Sexual Content – 5 Final – 10

#yuri #reviews #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #gay #anime #manga #amongst us #shilin #lesbian #gl #wlw #girls love #comics #comic #webtoon #webcomic #cute #funny #lol

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catalysticdisaster · 2 years

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Happy birthday to the webcomic that was just cool and totally didn't change my life despite only having finished the canon story a couple weeks ago.

#homestuck #happy 4/13

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calliopeebles · 3 years

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I know I don't go there nearly as much anymore, but happy 12th birthday to the webcomic that changed my life and also happy neil the rat day

#calliobabbles

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

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🎂 To Myself (Arashi Fukada)

[art by Lushia on deviantart]

Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life, Birthday

Word Count: 1,655

Pairing: Reader x TYL! Arashi Fukada

World: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (11^ Famiglia)

Prompt: Valentine’s Day #4 by thefakeredhead

Author’s Note: I think this is the first time I’ve ever written for someone else’s original character, but it was super fun! This was written for @zeno290’s birthday featuring the original character, Arashi Fukada, created by @kiralushia! Arashi is from the 11^ Famiglia webcomic, which I highly recommend you read (webtoons | @the11thfamily).

Thank you for giving me the chance to write for one of your wonderful characters, I hope I did her justice! ^~^)/ I also feel the need to mention that I’m only on chapter eight, I believe, so I’m going by what I currently know!

━━━━━━༻ 🎂 ༺━━━━━━

You stood in front of the mirror, readjusting the outfit that you were wearing to make sure you looked presentable. Today was your birthday and your boss was taking you and the rest of the family to a nice restaurant in order to celebrate.

You glanced at the clock. The reservation is set for eight o’clock and it was only just now turning seven, but you were feeling a bit worried because your girlfriend was currently in a meeting. The eleventh family was meeting up with a rival family so that their boss, Nozomi, could try and create peace between the two families. They had been at it for an hour already and something told you that they were no closer to finding a resolution.

Arashi was going to be late for dinner, you just knew it.

Your cell phone chimed from its position on the dresser, the familiar tone letting you know who was calling without having to check the ID. A smile came to your lips as you answered it, the cool glass against your ear. “Hey, Arashi. How’s the meeting going?”

“I want to shoot them all,” she huffed in annoyance. “These guys have zero respect for Nozomi!”

You chuckled as you pictured the face she must be making. “Just don’t get blood on your clothing. The reservation is for eight so you probably won’t have time to get changed.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t!” she laughed, the sound like music to your ears. “I love you for enabling me.”

“I love you, too,” you responded softly.

“Ugh, the break is over, we have to get back in.” She clicked her tongue, clearly not looking forward to rejoining the meeting. “I’ll see you soon, Y/N!”

“Okay,” you ended the call, sliding the phone back into your pocket. With one final look in the mirror, you grabbed your keys and left the apartment that you shared with the red-head.

━━━━━━༻ 🎂 ༺━━━━━━

You stepped into the restaurant, taking in the quiet atmosphere. From what you could see, there didn’t seem to be any others inside and you briefly wondered if your boss had rented out the entire restaurant for the night. It was definitely something she would do for her beloved family.

The waiter smiled at you. “Hello! May I have your name, please?”

Upon giving him the information, his back straightened and his smile widened.

“Ah, the guest of honor! Please follow me.”

You stepped around the wooden podium into the dining room, eyes scanning the empty booths and tables. Candles lit up the room, their flames dancing across the walls like people at a club. Situated at the very back of the room to the right was a large round table where most of your family had already made themselves comfortable.

Boss was the first to notice you, hopping up from her chair and throwing her arms around you. “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You couldn’t help smiling as you returned the hug. “Thank you, big sister.”

You settled down beside her as the others exchanged happy birthdays with you, asking how you were feeling and if your day had been kind to you. It had, of course. Any day that you got to spend just lazing around with Arashi was a good day, after all, but you spared them the details, simply letting them know that yes, your day had gone well.

When the last of the family had arrived, boss sent you a weary smile as the waiter approached to take the group’s order. “Do you want to wait on Arashi?”

You kept your lips in a firm line as you glanced at your phone. No messages or missed calls. “No, she will be a while.”

She didn’t seem happy about this but she nodded, offering you a smile and a pat to the shoulder. “I’m sure she will get here as soon as she can!”

“Is everyone ready to order?” The waiter questioned with a polite smile, pulling out a pad of paper and clicking the pen. Being the guest of honor, you were allowed to order first, choosing your favorite dish and drink before passing it on to the boss, who did the same. The waiter nodded once everyone had given their orders. “It will be out soon, I’ll be back with your drinks in just a moment.”

You tried to focus on the strange conversation that your family was having, but you found yourself staring out the window at the darkening sky, dotted with glittering stars against the dark velvet. Despite trying to keep yourself in good spirits, you felt a bit down. It was your birthday, after all, and yet the person you loved most was MIA.

You knew how much she loved Nozomi and the eleventh family, her loyalty unshaken no matter what happened and, while you would never make her choose between your love and the family, you still wished that she had decided to stay with you rather than running to her family. She didn’t technically need to be there for the meeting, Nozomi had said so herself, but Arashi had insisted.

The night wore on and your boss did the best she could to keep your mind off of your missing girlfriend by engaging you in conversation about various items. She tried to avoid family matters, no wanting to impose such things on your birthday, but it usually ended up back there in the end, not that you minded. You loved your family and wanted to do what you could to help your boss succeed.

In that respect, you could understand where Arashi was coming from and you briefly wondered if you would leave her on her birthday or not. So far, your boss had made sure not to bother you on Arashi’s birthday, so the situation had never presented itself to you. You couldn’t honestly say whether you would leave or not and that bothered you.

“The food was delicious!”

“Top tier, for sure~”

“I’m stuffed and ready for a nap.”

“Same here.”

As the boss pulled out her wallet to pay for the bill, which several of the members tried to dissuade her from doing to no avail, she sent you a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sure she has a good reason for not showing up.”

You nodded, not commenting on the subject. “Thank you dinner, big sister.” And then you turned your gaze to the rest of the table, where your beloved family sat, sending you smiles of love and respect. “Thank you all for coming, I appreciate you being here.”

“Of course!”

“We’re happy to be here, happy birthday again!”

“We got free food, too – ow! Why’d you smack me?”

“Idiot~ Happy birthday, Y/N!”

“Rude. I mean, it’s true, but rude.”

You chuckled as the two started to bicker back and forth playfully, your woes temporarily forgotten as they bumped into the table, tipping off the jug of water and creating a panic among the other members as they tried to stop it before it could run off the table.

━━━━━━༻ 🎂 ༺━━━━━━

The apartment was dark when you pushed open the door, kicking your shoes off by the door. You were certain that you had left the hall light on so you wouldn’t come home to darkness, but perhaps it had slipped your mind. You used your phone to light up the hall, hand fumbling for the light switch.

It clicked as you flicked it on, but no light flooded the hall. With a frown, you flicked the switch a few times, but nothing happened. Had the light blown out? Wrinkling your nose, you decided you would fix it tomorrow, too tired to care at the current moment.

You feet padded across the wooden floor as you headed for the bedroom to change into more comfortable clothing, but when you opened the door, you felt your body freeze up. The room was bathed in the flickering of candlelight, daffodil petals scattered across the floor. Movement from the corner of your eye had your gaze shifting to the side where Arashi was standing up from the wingback chair.

You felt your heart pick up speed at the sight of her silhouetted in the soft light, her dress fitting her body perfectly as her red locks contrasted against the black. She looked like a goddess in your eyes, but she always did no matter what she was wearing. Even after dating for so long, she was still able to take your breath away.

Arashi smiled sheepishly, her cheeks painted with a soft pink hue. “I’m really sorry I missed dinner. Can you forgive me?”

The sour mood you had felt quickly dissipated at the sight of your beautiful girlfriend, a smile slipping onto your lips as you crossed the distance between you. “It’s okay, I understand.”

“The truth is…” she shifted, turning her gaze to the floor. “I didn’t want to go there with your family. I wanted you all to myself…”

“Why didn’t you just say so?” you questioned softly, resting your hand on her warm cheek, forcing her brown eyes to meet yours.

“Because,” she pouted, tugging on the end of your shirt. “I knew you’d stay home if I said something! And after your boss went through the trouble of reserving the restaurant…”

“You knew about that?”

“She told me she was going to.”

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her waist protectively, lips finding her cheek as her hands clenched around your shirt. “You’re right, I would have stayed home with you. Big sister would have understood, you know. Next time, it will be just the two of us, okay?”

Arashi’s face lit up and she nodded. “Okay!”

With a smile, you brought your lips to hers, loving the way her arms wrapped around the back of your neck, his fingers clutching the base of your neck to deepen the kiss.

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all~

━━━━━━༻ 🎂 ༺━━━━━━

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

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tessmontyart · 3 years

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2020 year in review

It’s funny, last year I never actually got around to doing one of these. I didn’t think it was overly interesting. Oh 2019, how I miss you so 😭Such an innocent time ....

I’ll do a quick recap, cause hey no-one but me reads these anyway. 2019 was a glorious time. I went to Italy for the first time, went on an awesome Hunter Valley trip with my friends, had a 100th birthday celebration for my pop, I got to see the show I worked on air on TV, we saw the Lano and Woodley apartment in Melbourne .... Good times!

I didn’t give a rats about being unemployed and took matters into my own hands by making loads of new merch and selling at the most conventions I’ve ever been to. I tabled at Sydney Supanova, Adelaide Avcon, Sydney SMASH, Coffs Nexus Con, Sydney Oz Comic Con and Brisbane Supanova! I did so much travelling and events, it became my full time job. It was exhausting, but it was loads of fun, it paid the bills nicely, and it was wonderful to meet followers and mutuals in person.

My partner was very invested in counting up the numbers of what was selling and what wasn’t, and taking note of what was inconvenient with my setup and how to make it better. He even made a powerpoint presentation on what I could focus on for 2020, what kind of merch I could focus on and adding more conventions to my list. We were both excited about the idea of trying out Armageddon in New Zealand, which would have been my first overseas convention!

Cue 2020.

It started off uneasy. There were still bushfires everywhere and smoke hanging around, but I was optimistic they would die soon and the rest of the year would be fine. I booked a bunch of conventions early as usual. Got a whole bunch of new things made and ordered for the first convention of the year, Melbourne Supanova in early April. Some Acrylic charms didn’t make it in time because of COVID, but I thought that’s ok I still have a whole years worth of conventions to sell them at!

COVID-19 was just a spooky mysterious thing that was happening overseas at that point. I think there might have been 1 case in Australia, so all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer was sold out, but we were still able to do our usual travelling for the event. Little did I know, Melbourne Supanova was the first and last event I could do in 2020.

COVID hit Australia hard, Melbourne especially. There were lockdowns, quarantines, planes were grounded, airmail was halted, the cases kept multiplying, rules kept changing and changing and it was all so new and such a headache. Seeing every single convention I had booked cancel one after the other was hard to process. This was my main source of income in 2019 and now it’s up and vanished. Everyone were losing their jobs too, so the idea of getting a new job was completely out the window.

I tried to cheer myself up by drawing ‘Toilet Paper Chan’, my new magical girl character who has the ability to summon toilet paper in a time of need 😅

I made it into a Draw This In Your Style challenge, seeing as everyone was bored out of their minds in quarantine I hoped it was something people could pass the time and have fun making.

(here’s a handful of my favourites) I had a few entries which were all very adorable, but I admit not as many people joined as I expected. I don’t blame them though, this whole pandemic was very soul sucking and demotivating, especially hearing the constant stream of bad news when it all started.

I also made some lineart of a cute Easter girl, encouraging people to colour her in if they are bored in quarantine.

That was really fun, and I planned to do more, perhaps whole colouring books for a small price to download.

Then, out of nowhere, my friend from the last animation studio I worked at in 2018 contacted me. “Hey Tess, are you looking for work?”

“Um .... yes?”

Work? In 2020? What?

It turns out the animation industry is one of the only industries that are doing fine in the pandemic. Literally the only change is that animators have to work from home instead of at a studio. If you have the animation software and an internet connection you have everything you need.

So my good friend had recently scored this job for a studio which outsources all their animation for their animated TV series. The role is just fixing up any animation errors inhouse to minimize the amount of back-and-fourth between studios. It doesn’t sound like much but it became too big a job for just one dude to handle, so he contacted me and 2 of my other animation friends to help out. We had a ball!

It was loads of fun, and the contract lasted the whole year!

It wasn’t just fixing up errors either, I got to animate walking/ running / jumping / flying cycles for the overseas animators to use, which was great practice for me, and we even had a whole episode to ourselves to animate from scratch which I really enjoyed.

And then ... the year just flew by, because I was busy working the whole time. It was really quite surreal!

There were a few highlights, such as being a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding and organising her hens party, which is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things.

(Hens Party - it was yellow themed (her favourite colour) and High Tea.. it was adorable!)

(The bridesmaids and the bride on the Wedding Day)

Unfortunately there were some lowlights too ... This was the last year I got to see my aunt.

She was the craziest, funniest aunt, and still far too young to go. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be the same without her.

As always, drawing is the only way I cope with anything. My family chose a plain wooden casket, encouraging everybody to write a message or draw something on it, before it would be sent to the crematorium. I drew Spotty, her awesome horse I remember from my childhood, surrounded by her favourite flowers. Monty draw Mingus, her awesome ferret we also remember from our childhood.

That wasn’t the only bad news either. Pat’s Grandpa passed away later in the year, and a handful of my friends had relatives who either passed away or were diagnosed with cancer or some other horrible life threatening disease. A musician who collaborated with favourite artist collaborated passed as well, and even though I didn’t know him personally, it was still horribly devastating. Not to mention all my friends/relatives pets who didn’t make it through 2020. There was just so much loss this year, and I’m still grieving my cousin and my friend’s mum who both passed last year, it’s getting harder and harder to cope. It’s gotten to the point where I’m paranoid about who the next person will be because I haven’t finished grieving the last ...

All I can say is I hope 2021 is a little kinder when it comes to my loved ones. The small light at the end of the tunnel is; any suicidal thoughts I used to have frequently have all completely vanished, because I’ve been faced with the reality of it all. You really don’t realise how many people love you, people you don’t even know.

...

That was very dark, but it’s definitely something I needed to get off my chest.

Lets go back to a much lighter note.

More highlights:

🌻Animal Crossing New Horizons came out this year! I used to play Wild World back in the day so it was wonderfully nostalgic, and me and Pat have made the cutest little town with all our favourite villagers. It’s a nice way to escape from it all ^_^

(Monty’s island when we started)

🌻Speaking of games, the brand new Crash Bandicoot came out this year too! It was actually jaw droppingly amazing seeing all the awesome new ideas and mechanics they came up with while still keeping it classicly Crash. I loved it and I’m so excited to see if they give Spyro the same treatment!

🌻2020 brought about new and interesting ways to still enjoy Live entertainment. Lano and Woodley did a Zoom show which was absolutely hilarious, and Lights did an amazing online Dead End show which had me so pumped!

🌻Pat and I continued our anniversary High Tea tradition, this time trying it out at the Hydro Majestic hotel in the Blue Mountains!

🌻Speaking of Pat, his sister got married this year too, despite the pandemic. Congratulations!

🌻Pat randomly bought a Miku figure for himself, out of the blue, completely unravelling years of unnecessary ‘shame’ I’ve inherited caused by a pushy mother and a crappy ex. I used to love figure collecting but was convinced by certain judgy people that it was stupid and I needed to sell them all. I kept my very favourites in a cupboard ‘just incase they increase in value’. But now I can finally display them all again knowing Pat loves them just as much as I do!

We also added a ton more to the collection to make up for lost time (and because there’s SO MANY CUTE MIKUS NOWADAYS)

It’s a bit messy because we recently got new ones and need to make more space for them. The shelf with the Vocaloid nendoroids were my original ones hidden away in the cupboard, the rest we got this year ^_^ They make me so happy!

🌻Speaking of Pat unlocking things I’ve always wanted to do in the past: I am now planning to revive my old OCs Yui and Lotto! They were just characters of mine back in the day, but since I’m not good writing I never really came up with a story for them. But with Pat’s writer wisdom and my kawaii art style, I’m now planning a webcomic featuring the two cuties ^_^ It’s still in the very early planning stages but I’m super excited, and forever grateful for Pat, for believing in me ;w;

🌻This year I drew 31 more Owl City songs in copic markers, to go towards my ongoing project to draw every song! I’m actually getting quite close to my goal now which is exciting!

🌻This year I went to a Drive-In movie theatre for the first time to see the new Bill and Tedd movie, it was glorious and now I wanted to try more drive-ins. Going out to see a movie on a big screen *without* being able to hear smart-asses or screaming babies? Yes please!!

🌻How could I forget, this was the year my idol noticed me!! Lights shared and retweeted my Deadend fanart! Life = made.

What to to look forward to in 2021:

This is the first New Year where I actually have an idea of how 2021 will go! I managed to secure another animation job at a new studio starting January, ending January 2022 😊So thats the financial security for this year sorted! :P

As for general goals for 2021;

I’m hoping to have a decent plan, concept art, chapter ideas and hopefully even a script done for my new webcomic! I also wanted to make some cute simple animations of the characters just because c:

I’d also like to just do more of my own animation in general ... I animate every day for work but I never get to do my own animated projects. It will be hard with a full time job, so maybe this can be a 2022 goal ... but hopefully I can do at least one little animation of my own!

I suppose another goal is to make a social media accounts for my animation, too. Even if I don’t fulfil my goal, I still would like a page to showcase everything I’ve done so far.

And if all else fails .... Another goal is to draw more Miku. It’s crazy that I love her this much and haven’t drawn any fanart!

I think I’ll leave it there because I’m babbling now. 😅

I’ve done so many of these now o_o

[2018] [2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]

#2020 #year review #cw: death #cw: pet death #cw: suicide

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op-peccatori · 5 years

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a lacey birthday | lucathy

Fandom: 어느날 공주가 되어버렸다 | Who Made Me A Princess

Pairing: Athanasia de Alger Obelia/Lucas

Rating: Mature

Summary: Athanasia wonders if this will be the one birthday Lucas won't make it to. Lucas hates to disappoint. Lucathy, aged up.

Tags: birthday fluff, lucathy, KISSING

Notes: I stayed up till 8 am reading this webcomic, of course this was coming. Now the question is...should there be smut?

Chapter 1

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It was a mountain of chocolates.

She could see the ones with caramel fillings, the extra special ones Lilly made and even the ones Jennette had gifted her the first time. She spotted the ones her father had acquired from different kingdoms. It was all for her and to no one’s surprise, she reached for the box Lucas had gotten her in lieu of an apology after a nasty argument. Her fingers rubbed against the silky green ribbon as she slowly unwrapped the box, her lips quirking up in a small smile.

And then her eyes fluttered open to the sight of her room, bathed in moonlight and empty of any treats.

Athanasia rolled over in bed and sighed, feeling oddly pitiful. She couldn’t escape missing him even in her dreams. It wasn’t something she could say she enjoyed. She had grown selfish in her time in this world, constantly needing to keep her loved ones close to her.

Her childhood friend had left on another trip months before her eighteenth birthday and even though she had gotten used to his disappearing on various adventures, not having him by her side always left her feeling restless and upset. Her mind went back to the assortment of chocolates she had been about to eat in her dream, remembering the ruby eyed mage’s preference for the white ones. Her heart ached with the memory of him insisting she share them with him, how he’d sulked when she refused to do so and the way his cheeks had flushed when she held one up to his lips herself.

She’d had a wonderful birthday. Her personal life was peaceful enough to give her moments of suspicion, especially whenever she saw Claude interact with Jennette. It was silly, because the man still kept the other girl at an arm’s length, only giving in because she was dear to Athy. She avoided thinking about how her papa still looked at Ijekiel.

Coming back to her misery-her life in Obelia was the stuff of dreams, so why did her heart still hurt? Everyone deserved to have their own lives. Especially someone like the royal magician, who surely had a million things to attend to instead of fooling around with her. Her fists clenched around the soft covers as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to go back to sleep and half-hoping she’d have company this time.

“Well, this is a pretty lame way to end a birthday.”

Her eyes flew open, her heart giving a hopeful jolt because she knew that snarky tone, and she squinted at the figure standing in front of the windows. It could only be one person. Only one man had eyes like that, that could cut others down so easily yet look at her like they were trying to commit every inch of her to memory.

Not many could appear in her room from thin air with such ease, confidence, and nonchalance at the thought of the Emperor’s wrath. Overpowered mage or not, Claude would not let her childhood playmate escape unscathed if he found out about their late-night conversations. The former playmate in question waited for her to finish processing his sudden appearance, only tilting his head in amusement.

“Lucas,” she breathed. Oh, he was here. Here, before her birthday was over. In her room, while she was in bed wearing the rather risque nightgown the other princesses had snuck into her room as a secret gift. She hoped the way she drew the sheets up to her neck wasn’t too telling.

But Lucas seemed to be focused on her face, as if he was searching for something. “Aren’t most eighteenth birthdays a bit more...wild? You don’t even seem tipsy.”

“My father’s acceptance of my sweet tooth doesn’t extend to alcohol. Especially not with other boys my age around,” she told him, rolling her eyes.

“That’s unfortunate,” he drawled. He pulled his cloak back to present her with quite possibly the prettiest bottle of wine she had ever seen, along with a mischievous little smirk. Athy’s heart thudded at the latter. “I guess you’ll need to make sure this stays hidden.”

A grin immediately stretched across her lips as she sat up, making grabby hands at her gift.” Finally, an adult gift.” She was kneeling on her mattress, waiting for him to hand it over. Except, he seemed to still completely. She frowned at the way his lips pursed, wondering what his deal was.

Her confusion lasted until she felt the cool air pass over her bare legs, and then her heart dropped into her stomach. “Oh, um,” she stammered. She could only fidget in place as he examined her, his expression darkening with every inch of black lace he took in. She felt exposed, which was admittedly not an unfamiliar feeling in the presence of the man who could always see through her.

“I see I wasn’t the only one with that idea,” he said icily. She refrained from rolling her eyes, well aware of his protectiveness that could even rival her father’s on his good days.

“Some of the other girl’s thought I should, you know, have something mature. Just to myself, so I could feel like a lady,” she muttered. She quite liked the nightgown herself, even if it edged too much towards lingerie for her to ever wear it in front of anyone else. It was a deep blue in color, adorned with black lace around the neck and the bottom, which reached her knees.

Tasteful yet sexy. Something no one but Lilian could see, ever.

As always, Lucas somehow ended up being an exception to the ‘no one else can know about this’ rule.

The man himself stepped towards her, looking more thoughtful now as he handed her the bottle with no protests. She cradled it to her chest, somehow more self-conscious about the slight curves she’d begun to develop. It felt like she had changed in the months he’d been gone.

Athanasia wondered if Lucas had similar thoughts in mind, because he only nodded. “I just wanted to drop that off before the night was over. And...happy birthday, Princess.” The small but soft smile directed at her seemed to warm her down to the tips of her toes, a feeling she couldn’t get enough of. Which is why when he turned away, she reached for his hand while keeping his present in the middle of her pillows safely. He turned back to her in slight surprise, his long fingers curling around hers in a way that was all too familiar.

She got the feeling he was running away.

She didn’t actually know what to say, all she knew was that she wanted him to stay a little longer. Squeezing his hand tightly, she slowly got off the bed and stood before him. It seemed he’d chosen to do a little growing as well, because she had to crane her neck to really look at him.

“You didn’t even let me thank you,” she told him quietly, moving even closer. Her impossibly blue eyes zeroed in on his Adam's apple as it bobbed, Lucas gulping as she slowly closed the gap between them.

“There’s no need for that. I just thought I’d drop in before you threw a tantrum.” His words were all snark but his tone was like that of a man stranded in the desert. He didn’t take his eyes off her for even a second, his gaze intense as she stood upon the tips of her toes. Her hand came to rest on his steady shoulders as her lips were pressed to soft skin, not quite on his cheek and dangerously close to his mouth.

“Thank you, Lucas,” she whispered, not trusting her voice to work normally. He was always so warm, she felt a bit dizzy at feeling it.

The sound that came from his mouth was quickly stifled, and Athy felt like her face was on fire. But there was no embarrassment now, only determination. A warm pooling of something deep in her belly that called for less distance between them.

She stayed there, her lips hovering over warm skin and anticipation fueling her until he finally turned his head and let his own touch hers, in the barest hint of a kiss. They stayed there for a moment, breathing each other in, wanting so badly. Then, Athy’s fingers were in his hair and Lucas’ hand was on her waist, lips slotting together with a sense of urgency.

His thumb stroked her skin through the soft material, his thoughts flying out the window. They kissed as they argued, neither willing to back down as the space between them was minimized, until they reached a rhythm that worked for them. She was pressed up against him by an arm around her waist and a hand at the back of her head as he tilted her head back to go deeper, to get more. More, as she shyly licked at his mouthed. More, as he opened his mouth with a low growl, inviting her in with no intention of ever letting her go.

They pulled away toon soon, their chests burning with the lack of air and a sense of satisfaction. Her eyes sparkled in the darkness, laughing breathlessly as he placed soft. frantic kisses on every inch of her face. Both of them, who had experienced being all alone, were completely unwilling to let go of the other.

“Lucas,” she panted, burying her head into his shoulder as she clung to him. Lucas was worse off, his hand tightening within golden strands as he kissed the top of her head. He fought the urge to whisk her away, to keep her to himself forever. He wondered if this was real, but the sting of Athy’s fingers digging into his side helped with that. He smiled as a thought came to him, one that had crossed his mind several times since he first met her.

Princess Athanasia was going to be the death of him. And he was going to enjoy every second of it.

#who made me a princess #suddenly one day i become a princess #athanasia de alger obelia #lucas #lucas and athy #lucathy

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