stars!!!

resident evil official comic book magazine 01 (1998)

imagine that bella is your sister and you two are really close. you always knew that something with his new bf wasnt okay and ofc she found out that the cullens are vampires and so did you. bella then realised she is pregnant from edward and alice sees that the child is gonna save the kid vampires from killing so that the volturi doesnt have to rip their heads off. ofc the volturi gets to know about this and they all go nuts and decide to visit the cullens. as they do you esme begs you to stay with them for dinner but as usual you say that your not hungry. few months later bella dies from a car crash. after the funeral you realise something weird on your body. a bump is forming. so you run to the cullens and carlisle checks up on you. your the same month as bella was when she died. the family speeds to the library to read about transferring babies with magic from one woman to another. edward runs in from hunting and he is very confused but once they all close their books and look at you. while some of them are smiling some of them have an afraid expression on their face. carlisle pulls you and edward aside to tell you that when bella died a witch helped the baby and while bella was still alive she told the witch to transfer the baby to your uterus. your alll shocked especially now that you are carrying an half immortal and half human child in your uterus. edward is beyond happy that atleast the baby could make it if bella didnt. You turn to him and you see that he is smiling. the next months go as the same...except for the fact that your now living with them and your also trying to take your time with the others but edward cant help but read the babys toughts and you smile as he rubs your belly. once the kid is born edward confesses his feelings for you and you live happily as a married couple with a kid.

Hot male royal sim list? I am interested 👀

FINALLY!!! i been waitin for this one. before anything else im gonna expose myself anyway so im just gonna DO IT MYSELF!!!! a disclaimer!!!!! i have a sim men type AND its so obvious anon im screaming u can put all this men in a line and you’d see it too. and IT’S gonna be so much more obvious when we get to emi as a teen lmao

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

darien + alfie frederick @ waroyaltea ofc

phillip when he wasnt a doodoo head @ thevalencianroyals

nicholas grimalldi DUH @ im not even gonna @ her she already has me in cuffs

oliver, harry and david yes!! my own sims and what about it

constantin shout-out to him wherever he is @ simoviacourt

edward he came to amelias wedding and i fell in love ofc @ thesimsroyalfam

cristobal @ willowcreekroyals OFC he came to amelias weddin and i already knew he was fine !!!!!

all of chloe markinghamroyals sims BUT especially mr antonio and louis <3 hello if they can hear me id like to go on a date <3

gabriel from @ carmichealroyals he is so cute : ( well he and his oliver can hold my hand i guess : (

im forgetting people 1000% and theres other male sims i just wanna hug : ( ITS DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just some babble on my thoughts on that scene with paula talking to edward abt lizzie. literally i just put words down as they came into my head IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE UNDER HERE but its nice to put my feels down

also i kinda just went coocoo abt rciel/lizzie somehow (haha “somehow”) so like theres that LMAO

 hhhuhuuu ok first, we have “through the tears...” aka Lizzie’s hardships. first being the time lizzie lost rciel on the twins 10th birthday.. and the other being lizzie refusing to wear high heels to support ociel.

i just. find it so interesting that lizzie giving up her high heels is put here to show lizzie’s pain. it’s a sacrifice that she made for ociel.. but i never thought of it as a good thing for her. honestly, i don’t think we’re meant to think of it as a good thing for her here, seeing as paula equates it with lizzie crying. it’s pain she goes through for ociel, which he doesn’t even notice. not that it’s his fault ofc, but still. something to take into consideration.  

and it’s so funny to me how we get lizzie crying over losing rciel... instead of like, her being sad over her strength. i’ve always said that lizzie’s issue over what rciel said to her was never about how strong she was. it didn’t cause her insecurity problems with herself. what it DID so was make her worry that he wouldn’t like her or want her as his wife. and like, given that there is literally nothing shown about her being sad over her strength i’d say i’m spot on. what lizzie wanted most was rciel and her greatest pain was losing him.

moviiing on to “the smiles” ... which are all moments with ociel. (bc ofc, its not like it would make any sense to put random scenes we never saw before) but the dresses yana chose are so interesting to me... the first one is the one lizzie wore in chapter 2, her first appearance... and possibly one of the worst scenes for lizzie/ociel yet LOL. but whatever, i honestly don’t think that’s really important. the point is lizzie did feel genuine happiness with ociel, i think. that’s kinda the whole point with these pictures— its why lizzie was so broken up in ch144. as if rciel could merely be switched with someone who simply looks like him and she’d go on loving that person all the same. her love wasnt as real as she believed it was. 

while she thought that, it uses ch2 dress once again to represent ociel/lizzie 

i have to wonder, why THAT one of all choices? wouldn’t it be better to use the one she wore on the ship since they shared better moments together? isnt it more significant? even the one she wore when she went to watch him in weston would have been better imo shudji

i think theres a purpose for it. like, it’s meant to represent lizzie’s happiness with ociel i think. shes smiling, shes happy, all is well. but. let’s not forget what went down before they started dancing. i mean, you can still see the tears in her eyes for god’s sake

like, i think overall the real point is: yes, she was happy.. but.  ..that’s it right there LOL. there’s always a “but”. yes ociel [pretended to] forgave her and they danced and she was happy but he almost slapped her. but they were yelling at each other just like 10 seconds prior. 

yes lizzie tries hard to make him happy but all it mostly does is annoy him and make him angry. 

yes it was sweet that ociel took off his coat and put it over her shoulders but he literally forced her out of her clothes against her will. yes they both apologized for their faults but they couldnt get there until he got aggressive and lizzie broke down crying

yes lizzie wears high heels to support him but she would rather be cute, she’d rather wear high heels. (there was no “but” when it came to rciel. he said a strong wife would scare him and she went ‘ok, im done with my training. i never liked it much but i definitely dont want it if you dont want me. i will give it up.’)

what REALLY gets me is the next dress.. paula thinks of lizzie and the good times they went through together... and lizzie holds the easter chapter dress 

so we have the dress from ch2 and the easter chapter dress. THE EASTER DRESS SDHSUIJ i love the easter chapter sm

like ok. there’s lizzie’s big ‘ol smile ‘cause she’s so happy BUT.. (BUT!!) WE ALL KNOW HOW THE EASTER CHAPTER WENT DOWN. WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT ENDED

JUST LOOK AT HER

LOOK AT HER FACE. 

like, of all the fking dresses for lizzie to hold up and represent her “happiness” ayhduija LIKE.. THATS SO DELIBERATE. ITS JUST MY POINT. like, yes she was happy and she believed she was happy but was she really all that happy? i think there was a lot of pain that lizzie put a happy mask over and covered up in front of ociel. 

look how SAD she is over “ciel” misremembering the times they spent together. times she SO OBVIOUSLY cherishes very dearly. the way she thinks of the moments where something was off about him and how it hurts her. iT mAKES HER sad. THAT SAYS SO MUCH........ LIKE DOESNT THAT SHOW SHE CLEARLY KINDA MISSED RCIEL?? DESPITE THINKING HES STILL FKING ALIVE..... 

LIKE HOW TF DO YOU HAVE HER THINK ABT THE THINGS THAT DISTINGUISHES OC FROM RC (coughing/not remembering the egg) AND GET SAD BY IT..... AND WONDER WTF HAPPENED TO HIM..... THEN TRY TO TELL ME HER ASS ISNT IN FUKING LOVE WITH HI— SGDHUIJSSFD /kms  

like this is sooo a lizzie -> rciel moment.  like NO she didnt realize that he wasnt really ciel BUT she still yearned for the real ciel ANYWAY SHUDI. LIKE THAT ALONE... is like, for me, proof that her feelings arent just bc she was robotically conditioned to love him due to being his fiancée. like, if that was the case then she wouldnt feel sad here. she’d just happily accept any behavior from him because it’s not like it really matters how he acts as long as he’s “ciel”. 

like that what it LOOKS like she did on the surface but this clearly shows that she’s been feeling this way ever since he came back from that month. AND LIKE HULLO... THAT TRAUMATIC MONTH.. OFC HE’S NOT GONNA BE THE SAME AND OFC SHE’S GONNA DO HER BEST TO BE SUPPORTIVE AFTER WHAT HE’S BEEN THROUGH...  

LOOK HOW SHE CALLS HIS NAME IN HER THOUGHTS 😭😭

god, its jsut so deep SDGUHIJo LIKE when I first read the easter chapter I was like, “what??? why is she sad just ‘cos he didnt immediately remember some design of an egg... why is the manga making it out like its so tragic... wth does it have to do with that month.” LIKE I JUST THOUGHT THE WHOLE THING WAS DUMB LMAOO. and i was so disappointed too ‘cos I got super excited when she took off those ears while everyone was leaving I was just like “FUCK YEAH SHOW US THE REAL LIZZIE.. I KNOW THIS GIRL IS NOT HAPPY AS SHE SEEMS!! IK SHE DONT FKING LOVE HIM” LOL

BUT NOW WITH 2CT ITS LIKE.. SO FUCKING SAD.. AND TRAGIC. AND DEEP. AND NOT DUMB AT ALL SDGYSUHIJ. honestly thats why i love this chapter sm. i went from excited to disappointed to MIND BLOWN AND CRYING SDGUHI 😭😭 

LIKE FUCK.. EVEN WHEN REPLACED BY OCIEL LIZZIE COULD NOT MOVE ON FROM RCIEL 😭😭 SHE WAS STILL FREAKING THINKING ABT HIM SDGYUHSI 😭

i mean like YEAH OBVIOUSLY since she thought oc was rc this whole time BUT THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT SDYUHIj like she still thinks of real ciel like the REAL real ciel.. not “ciel who’s actually ociel” .. THE UNDENIABLY REAL TRUE CIEL.. “we spent so many easters together” that was rciel. “its your favorite kind, with the strawberries on top!” that was rciel. “i’m the kind of scary girl ciel hates!” THAT WAS RCIEL SDUHIJS. that one ESP shows how she still hangs onto things that rciel said because they matter to her and still cares about what he thinks.

ANYWAY, I love how she says “hey, ciel...” and she talks to him in her thoughts, in her heart. like, like, its so sad ‘cos the one she is talking to is.. gone. he is gone and she doesnt know but she still thinks of him and speaks to him in her mind and its jUST FUCKJGN SHDGYUHSIHDUYG 

IT REMINDS ME OF NANA... AT THE END OF EACH EP HACHI GOES “Hey, Nana...” even though Nana has left and is no longer there. 😭😭 that fucking “you are not here any more, but I still think of you all the time.” I FUCKING LOVE THAT SHIT 😭😭

one of my fav lines (i have so many of them) was:  

“Hey Nana... Not a day goes by where I don't wish you were sitting across this table here with me. I call your name within my heart… over and over again”

LIKE HULLO... IS TIHS NOT LIZ? LOOL. like imagine when she thought ciel died that month and she was just MISERABLE the whole time and yearning for him in her heart.. BUT THEN HE COMES BACK AND SHES HAPPY ITS GREAT ITS A BLESSING.. even though hes not the same BUT THATS OK BECAUSE HES HERE AND ALIVE AND THATS WHAT REALLY MATTERS but like. god its just not the same and she still yearns for him in her heart ; - ;

its so romantic 💕

A list of my favourite fictional grey characters (not in order) SPOILER ALERT!

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time)

There is a reason why Regina is called «The Evil Queen» She was pure evil. A murderer, a kidnapper, a rapist, how could I like her? Well it wasnt before season 3 I started to like her. It took a lot of time. And I suppose I will never fully love her after she raped Graham for...years... and murdered people - children when she was a tiny bit frustrated. I would even say that she is irredeemable. And I thought her redemtion arc was unrealistic in the beginning, and for God’s sake, she should not have been crowned The Good Queen in season 7. But she tried to change so hard for Henry, she tried to redeem herself. Tried to be a good mother for a change. She saved multiple lives and souls. She didnt completely redeem herself, I must admit it. But she tried so hard and I feel like she deserves something from that. She eventually became a very good mother, even though it was a little late since Henry was already 12 when she became one. She was still a bitter bitch and blamed innocent people for unfortunate things that happened to her (Zelena, Mary Margaret, Emma) but by season 7, she became something more than that. She became half good. Grey. And even though she didnt completely redeem herself, she came close. Also, I love her sassy personality, she should be crowned The Sassy Queen, not The Good Queen.

Rumplestiltskin (Once Upon A Time)

The Dark One who after 7 seasons became one of the greatest heroes in OUAT. The man who was known as the village coward because he ran away from the Ogre War and was too afraid to fight for his wife became one of the bravest men. Like Regina, he was a murderer. He was super manipulative with all his deals and the «all magic comes with a price, dearie» thing. He manipulated people into getting themselves killed. Before he became The Dark One, he was a good man with a pure heart. But the power of the dagger took over him and his heart was all black. He was power sick. He always wanted power, but not for selfish reasons. He felt like he needed power to protect his son Bealfire/Neal and his wife Milah, but when he took that power, the darkness came over him and he, after time, became evil. It wasn’t before he met Belle French his heart showed a little bit of light. As he said, she was his light in an ocean of darkness. Their relationship was problematic and selfish in the beginning. He manipulated her into thinking he changed (which you know i detest *cough* James Potter) Rumple loved power more than he loved her, at least in season 4. He too often chose it over her, until season 6 when he started to properly redeem himself. His redemtion arc took over 300 years but it came in the end. His love for her changed A LOT. In the other seasons, his love was unhealthy and selfish. But in season 6 and 7, he changed a lot. This time it wasnt only for Belle, but Gideon too. They helped him let go of power and in season 7, he tried so hard to get rid of the dagger and the power so that he could live a normal life with his family. And after Belle died, he didn’t return to the dagger or the dark side. He helped the good side to defeat Drizella and the other villians in that season. He even became a father figure to Alice. And in the end he sacrificed himself to save Killian’s (Nook) life. And he got reunited with Belle. He is the most interesting character in OUAT, no doubt there.

Sawyer/James Ford (LOST)

Sawyer is without a doubt one of my fave characters from LOST (after Charlie and John) in his background, he was a thief and manipulated woman to believe he loved them, just to take all their money. (Maybe except Cassidy, since he fell in love with her later, but he still manipulated her AND got her pregnant) He’s a real asshole. Buuut - then he became an entirely different (and better) man. He meets Kate Austen and I feel like his love for her changes his character. In the beginning he was a bit of a perve with her (i mean, walking straight towards her completely naked...) he doesnt develope much in the 1 season, but later (beginning in the 3 season) he becomes quite selfless and protective. In season (was it 4? I dont quite remember) he falls in love again with Juliet Burke, and heeeeell, she was good for him. He also developes a nice relationship with Claire Littleton (platonic) he becomes protective of her. He attemts to comfort Hurley after Charlie’s death. In the rest of the seasons he is the born leader. He puts the team before himself (like when he sacrificed his chance to escape the Island) and in the paralell universe he is absolutely the best.

Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Okay, no he’s not exactly a grey character since he’s a lot more dark than light, but I love him too much to not put him here. Differently from the other character I’ve mentioned above, Heathcliff doesnt have a redemtion. He died an awful person. He abused and manipulated a lot of people. Before he became this asshole, he was a much better person. He was an ass to those who deserved it (Hindley, That bitch deserved to die so young. Edward was a kind man, but I don’t like him, sooo... nevermind) The way he treated Isabella was sickening and awful, she had every right to leave him and take Linton away and hate him. I Don’t like Isabella, but she never deserved to be treated that way. His love for Cathy was unhealthy, but it was true and he would do so much for her. (They kinda remind me of Snily, so ofc I ship it) Heathcliff went through so much trauma in his life and never recovered. After Cathy died, he was practically dead too, then he killed himself years later. His life made me cry for days, especially the ending. He is such an interesting character with so many layers.

Ulrich Nielsen (Dark)

(Before I say anything, I haven’t finished the entire show yet, so this is gonna be short and probably not 100% correct)

To be honest, I don’t like Ulrich at all as a person. I look at him and I see a fully grown up man with no remorse for what he did to Regina as a teen. He cheated on his wife with a woman he didnt even love. He tried to murder a CHILD who hadnt done anything wrong (yet) because he thought he was going to kill his brother and son in the future (okay, i get why he did it. He was desperate to get Mikkel back and the whole time-tarvelig thing was extremely stressfull) BUT HE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING A LOT LESS HARMFULL TO PREVENT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN. Despite this, i love him as a character. He is so interesting and there are times were I have to remind myself why i dont like him. He is brave and intelligent and... so fucking hot as a teen.

Hannah Kahnwald (Dark)

(Again, havent watched the whole show yet)

This girl is MESSED UP. When she was fourteen, she accused Ulrich of being a rapist, which is a very serious accusation and then blamed it on Regina who she knew was a victim of Ulrich and Katharina’s bullying. She is a home-wrecker, and when Katharina found out about Ulrich cheating on her with Hannah and confronted her, Hannah blamed it on Ulrich and said he pressed her and that she wanted it to end, but he refused or whatever, i dont 100% remember the conversation. But she was also a very good mother to Jonas and she was so sweet to Mikkel/Michael. She is a bitch, so much that its impossible to not like her.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Saved the best one to last. The guy my whole account is about, ofc he’s on this list, and ofc this is gonna be the longest text.

This guy is a complete asshole. Always has been, always will be. He bullied Harry and Co (mostly Harry and Neville) he was a bitter and sarcastic bitch. He used to be a follower of Voldemort. Even in his youth he had a lot of flaws. We all know he became the bastard he was due to childhood trauma, mental illnesses and manipulation. I believe he had depression, grief and PTSD. At least in his 20’s he was suicidal, and I believe it remained like that til the day he died, because he had no one to help him or give him support. He turned to the dark side in an attemt to make his life better (as many members of gangs do) but he only stayed like that for two years, which is extremely impressive if you know what kind of person Voldemort is. As a 21 year old, Snape was a very different person from what he was as a 38 year old. If he was the way he was as a 38 yr old when Lily, James and Harry was in danger. First of all, he wouldnt start to try to save Lily by asking Voldemort, he would have went straight to Dumbledore, probably with his own brilliant plan on how to save them. Second, he wouldnt hesitate for a second to save James and Harry to. In canon, he needed to have a personal reason to save them, which was Lily’s feelings I believe. As a 38 yr old, he risked his life to save people he hated (Lupin) This is a great character developement. He went from being a selfish bitch, to become a selfless asshole. He was that kind of person who did anything in his power to protect someone, even if that person had nothing to do with winning the war and had nothing to gain himself.

79, 95, 51, 41,83, 69, for the ask game :)

wowee ok

79- do you believe in ghosts?

nope. I believe there’s an explanation for everything, and i find that way more interesting honestly. 

95- summer or winter?

summer summer summer summer summer

51- how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

11.. my classmates in middle school were like “are you fucking serious” and thats when I finally asked my mom.i was a slow child. My parents later were like “we didn’t know what to do! you just never questioned it so we just kept going with it!”

41- top 10 favorite songs

that is an incredibly loaded question so imma name ten songs in no particular order that you could definitely consider some of (but not all) of “my favorites”. with links to youtube to share the love ofc.

- 3Oh!3 - “I’m Not Your Boyfriend Baby”- HelloGoodbye - “Here In Your Arms”- James - “To My Surprise”- Don Omar- “Danza Kuduro”- The Griswolds “Beware the Dog”- Rise Against - “Savior”- Good Charlotte - “I Don’t Wanna Be In Love”- Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina “Stereo Love”- Breaking Benjamin - Breathe- Bombay Bicycle Club - “Shuffle”

83- regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular :3

69- do you play an instrument?

god i wish. story time: 

i played the clarinet for like a year in fourth grade but my teacher was so fucking hard on us and unforgiving and honestly i resent him for ruining learning music for me. i would always cry after his class because he’d say to my face that i obviously wasnt practicing or trying hard enough because i couldn’t read sheet music without labeling the notes underneath and would flub the clarinet keys and such. i was NINE and was undiagnosed for autism at the time. lmfao what a fucking douche

Fic Search #193

1. Suggestion- Just Different by guardianlake but its Baekhyun/ Jongdae not chansoo

181014. Hi! I'm looking for a fic and if you know it i'd really love that. But, what i do remember is that its an abo fic & it might've(?) been a chansoo fic? its similar to "i want you to want me" in that the protagonist didn't expect to be an omega, and i believe it was on ao3 and if it wasnt its on lj. i also remember the alpha was like my parents were surprised by him. i also remember the p's parents to really like the alpha. i remember a scene with the alpha showing up to the omegas house and was waiting outside on his car? and i think there was mention of a leather jacket as well? and i remember the protagonist wasn’t allowed to be on his sports team anymore and his older sibling or maybe fam member was like we’ll fight it, this is discrimination. this is all i remember I’m so so sorry for the long ask, i’ve been searching the past few days but i cant find it! and if you can thank you so so much! 

2.

181028.  hey do you know any fanfic where junmyeon is the sugar daddy and chanyeol is the sugar baby?

3. Unsight by lawlipoppie

181028. Hello! Firstly, thank you so so much for your hard work, I wouldn't be alive without you all ** I was wondering if you could help me find a fic, I've been searching it for two weeks, and I'm going crazy... It was on AO3, I remember it was like twilight except the werewolf and the vampire fell in love. And I remember how the vampire was friends with Taeyeon and saw the werewolf in her mind and fell for the werewolf that way. If you could help me I would forever love you, you have no idea! Thanks~

4.

181031.  hi! please help me find a chanbaek fic i read but forgot to bookmark 😭 it's a "pretty woman" au and it follows the movie closely. it's multi chaptered and I think it was on ao3. chanyeol played edward and baekhyun played vivian. please help me find it!!

5.  Golden Bracelets by AnnieJays

181028.  can you help me find fics where A and B have a slave and master relationship but its more of just a title in the au, but they dont necessarily treat each other that way ? 😂 i hope that makes sense (u_u)♥︎

6.

181101.  kaynoella : Okay so this is kinda long so I hope you'll be able to see them all together. It's a romance (rated M?) krisho ship, I believe I read it on AFF, and I can't find it again T^T So this is the only part I remember from it, the beginning, Kris and Suho didn't know each other and I believe they meet at a bar, they drink, get drunk, and Kris takes Suho to his apartment. One specific scene is when Suho took off his underwear it fell at the end of Kris's bed in between his mattress and the plank (so in the morning Suho couldn’t find his boxers when he was trying to leave so I think Kris found them after) Anyways they do the deed and then it’s morning time. Suho wakes up first and freaks out when he sees Kris so when he tries to leave (ofc his waist hurts) Kris starts to wake up so Suho pretends to sleep. Kris sees Suho in his bed and he freaks out too but keeps quiet. Then Suho thinks that Kris went back to sleep and he turns over to look, they make eye contact. Suho screams and takes all the blankets to cover himself (I think that’s what happens) and Kris starts apologizing and asks if he’s okay. And one specific sentence he says goes along the lines of “I’m so sorry we didn’t use a condom. But I already got myself checked I’m clean” but Suho just stays under the covers and doesn’t say anything. Then Kris feels sorry bc he knows Suho can’t really move atm (if ya know what I mean) and he didn’t have any pain pills around so Kris said he’ll go out to get Suho some stuff so he feels better. When Kris leaves Suho takes a shower and then starts looking for his clothes to leave asap. At this point I can’t really remember what happens next but Kris comes back when Suho has a towel around his waist looking for his clothes and so they’re both embarrassed and all that stuff. Kris gives him the healing stuff for him and Suho tells Kris he can’t find his underwear and I think Kris gives him his own and then at that point I think they just go there ways and further in the story they meet again through their mutual friends (the other exo members) and get together. Again I hope you see the parts before this so you know what I’m talking about and what to find! But anyways I really hope you’ll be able to find this story, it would mean so much. Then I could finally stop thinking about it HAHAA Thanks~!! 

7. Used to Be Snow White but We Drifted by London9Calling and Seokmonsters

181107. Hello!! I’m looking for a fic. It’s a space fic where Xiumin was a prince, but left his planet and Suho is now the King. Xiumin is found and is asked to find his fathers killer and he finds out Suho killed the previous king so that he could become the king. I don’t really remember much else, but I’m hoping someone can help me!

8.  Run For Safety and Under Your Wings by suhossineun

181109. bambaozi. Hay ive been looking for a series of fics and i cant remember who there by but i know the first one is were tao kai and sehun are a small pack by themselves and get chased by kris and lay i think. And the other ones are like chanyeol wants to be part of kris's pack and minseok is a rouge. Sorry if its not very descriptive 😅😅😅

9. we are tonight by happyxings

181112. hi admins! i lost this chanbaek fic on ao3 and i didn't get far enough in the fic to give too many specifics, but what i do remember is that it was a college!au, baek's problem was that he hadn't gotten any in six months, yeol has been trying to get at him for a while, and luhan is baek's best friend. baek and yeol call eachother by their last names, and luhan mentions somewhere early in the fic that yeol mistook baek as a girl at a frat party in their first year. when baek approaches yeol about sleeping together, it’s next to a vending machine, and they end up agreeing to meet at baek’s apartment. that’s pretty much how far i got until i lost the fic rip thank you so much in advance! 

10. 

181110. amaniz98. Hello 👋🏻 Do you know any Sekai or Chanbaek fics where they comeback from school and have sex ? 

Thanks to lawlipopie, BOYSBEFREE, DEMUREDEMONS, CHENTLEMEN-FIRST, deliciousobservationbird and anon for your help!

here is how my last date went w joel (once again i have mixed feelings about it) plus how things are going now

so i saw him the other night. i got there and it was him marissa and lindsey as usual but they also had their friends moshe and adiena there. so that was kinda awkward (for me at least). they were all just sitting around talking and moshe and joel were playing mario kart on the switch and then joel made everyone watch like category is, read u wrote u, the s8 and 9 finale lip syncs, and the alyssa edwards drop dead gorgeous mix. it was kinda awkward bc the others werent really into it after the first 2 videos (except marissa legend) so i was getting secondhand embarrassment but it was still fun i guess since i got to sit next to my man

BUT then things took a turn for the worst bc joel made some attempt to include me in the group conversation. i got so sweaty instantly and i was wearing a tank so i was like fuck! nothing to cover it up. so yeah eventually moshe and adiena left and it was just us the 4 sisters again

marissa started vacuuming and lindsey was showing us some books she has. then they both went to their rooms and it was just me and joel. he said chris was still in his room playing tekken 7 on his ps4 and he didnt wanna kick him out yet so we stayed in the living room and he made me watch the great british bake off with him and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring omg like this is what yall call a competition? it was not intense at ALL literally flop shows only

then eventually we went into his room and he kicked chris out (after playing one round w him) so it was just us. this is where the date got enjoyable

one of the things he did was he started talking to me about his opinions on like race and stuff currently in america. and his opinions were all p good except for a few so that was fine. it was nice i guess to have like a serious convo w him i guess

THEN he referenced something from his childhood and i didnt know what it was obv so he was like “ive never told you the story of my childhood??” so he told me and oh my gosh it was so SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD omg im not gonna put all his business on here but it was such a sad story and i felt so bad for him and i wished i met him years ago so i couldve been there for him through all of it. but yeah it was v unfortunate i was like shocked like he seriously could not catch a break and he explained to me how the things from back then affect him to this day w like his anxiety for example and yeah. like obv i wasnt happy to hear about all those sad things but i was happy that he told me bc it made me feel closer to him

now for the part i DIDNT like. so at one point he somehow tried to talk to me about what celebrities and porn stars we think are hot. i did not want to have this conversation bc it feels pointless for me bc i dont keep up w celebrities and plus like the guy im with is always the #1 hottest guy for me so i dont feel the need to lust after celebs and porn stars. but whatever he was insistent on talking about this so we did. and the part that made me feel :/ was that none of the guys looked like me. like literally all the celebrities and porn stars he listed literally looked NOTHING like me whatsoever. like i didnt have a SINGLE thing in common w any of these guys. so to hear him going on and on about how hot these guys are and how they could have him any day and stuff was just kinda deflating to me bc they were all like the complete opposite of me in terms of looks. like they were all super buff daddy types and i have like 0 muscles and i dont really have strong chiseled features either. like i know im prob being oversensitive/too competitive but idk it just made me uncomfortable

and then when i told him all my faves it was different bc he did have a lot in common w all the guys i mentioned. he was like “im noticing a pattern here” and hes right, like if i did have a “”type” he would probably be it. i personally dont like talking about hot guys w any guy im currently with bc for me its like if the guy im with is all heart eyes emoji about another guys looks then obv im gonna look at this guy and compare myself to him which is not something i want to do since most of the time the other guys have me beat. so i dont bring up guys i find hot for the same reason bc i wouldnt want the guy im with to feel insecure or inadequate or contribute to a negative body image or something. i know not all people think like this and lots of people are perfectly fine w admiring other guys w their s/o but for me its just not something i like to do

so that was the worst part. it made me feel kinda empty the next day (in the moment it wasnt as bad, it was uncomfortable but it wasnt until later that i realized that i really did not look like these guys at all). actually i think this convo happened before the childhood convo. but anyways after all those convos that is when we fooled around

so this time it was fun! first he had me teasing his hole w my dick. its mildy pleasant to me but he like loves it lol. then he did the same to me but his dick was like lubed up from when i was jerking him off beforehand and it really felt like his dick was THIS close to slipping into my hole omg i was nervous i was like if he moves his hips slightly too much im literally gonna lose my virginity LMAO but it was still fun! he ended up cumming on my hole which i honestly didnt mind bc it was easier to clean since its less surface area than say my stomach or something

then i jerked myself off while he kissed me and played w my nipples and stuff since thats still my preferred way to cum. it was nice and then we showered together afterwards. and i forgot to mention it but a few dates ago we showered together for the first time which was super fun!! that time i sucked/jerked him off in the shower until he came. this time we had already cum so we just cleaned ourselves 

then we went to sleep. we woke up and got ready and i got to see him eat breakfast! he had cereal and he looked soooooooo cute omg and then we left his apartment together, then parted ways bc i had to go to my car and he was going to the bus stop down the street. he left bc he is visiting his family back home bc he needs to get some documents to do something for fafsa and he wont be back until wednesday. and i leave on thursday so rip we just have one more chance to see each other 

so that was that! also on the date before that we played this really fun game together called lovers in a dangerous spacetime and i had so much fun! omg we were such gaymers

so yeah thats it! one more date before we have to be apart for a month. im really sad about it actually like ive been getting really emotional over it. like im gonna miss him but also hes kinda going through a difficult time in his life right now and it makes me feel really bad that i wont be able to be there for him in person when he needs me. and ofc im still worried he might meet someone else, like a month is a long time so its v possible for him to forget/lose interest and try to find a new man instead. and these gay apps are location based obv so he could be reinstalling grindr or something and i would have no idea since im so many miles away!!! i doubt he would but again i didnt think caleb would do that either and i was wrong on that so im not trusting my own judgment anymore

im gonna try to enjoy greece but im gonna miss him a LOT and i just hope hes able to hold himself together while im gone since i wont be here to comfort him since im gonna be on another continent. if he does meet someone else im gonna be really sad about it but i am gonna try to be optimistic about it and ill still be able to text him like every day so its gonna suck but it could be worse i guess

jesus-is-jewish 回复了你的帖子 “tbh what does orientalist even mean. like r red lanterns and wushu...”

Orientalism was never exclusive of East asia....? Like in the time of Bach I believe they considered Turkey the target of fetishization, but then Japanese things became a la mode? The exotification of the east has never been exclusive to one Part of Asia and has led continuously the perpetual foreigner stereotype that central AND east/southeast Asians face in the west.

ik i was half kidding lol but edward said originally coined the concept re: european perceptions of islamic civilization ofc the #othering of all asians exists in predominantly white countries but orientalism wasnt conceived with northeast asia in mind, i think it mightve been extended to include e. asia discourse in the US since east asians make up a relatively big portion of the US asian population 

i just watched nocturnal animals and i liked it, super violent and sad, i almost stopped watching after the first scene in the road but well i made it thru.

after watching many reviews i must say that i dont think edward ever tries to equate (tw rape and dead) having ur wife and daughter killed and raped is the same as ur gf having an abortion. that wasnt my take away at all, i think the problem wasnt that she aborted but that she went with this other guy she was clearly into. ofc we cant really see what happened or anything, its up to us but i was kinda shocked to see everyone thinks that he got mad at her abt the abortion. i mean, idk really it didnt seem to me that thats what he was mad abt.

idk i thought the performances were excellent, from all of them tbh. i kinda felt like there wasnt much of a plot but well, isnt it enough to watch amy adams and jake gyllenhaal in the screen for two hours?

also, that last scene OOF.