#and don't get me started on poems
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if it hadn't specified novels i would've said macbeth, twelfth night, doctor faustus and the crucible maybe, and maybe fences.
#and an absolute boat load of short stories#the yellow wallpaper#the masque of the red death#young goodman brown#the story of an hour!! that one's interesting#ummmm#and don't get me started on poems#typewriter dings
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you have spent too many years feeling like clay. like every finger leaves an imprint on you. like you would bend into any palm.
these days are too quiet. you are worried that some horrible silence has come into you. what are you supposed to be, right now? what does a mirror reflect in an empty room?
good morning. will you be good, today? will you be cruel? will it ever really-feel like you're being you?
#warm up#sldf#i also made a blackout poem from some hatemail i got in my inbox#but i was like#ah i don't want this to start where ppl send me hatemail just to get poems
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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK.
PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.
#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me#like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but#it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are#both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl#mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they#were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy#start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in#a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled#together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america#every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id#leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit#brocedes#f1 web weaving#f1#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#f1 edit#nr6#lh44#web weaving
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition
Who would have thought? 🤭
Agnes "Nes" Sigrún
🌑RO: James Corvin
Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful
Traits: heart // compliance // believer
Past affinity: writing [horror stories]
Primary ability: empathetic impressions
Past susceptibility: receptive
☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town.
Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice.
☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them.
His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.
☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar…
Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.
☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does.
If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James.
☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections.
Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.
🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously.
Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success
☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals.
If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.
☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.
☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.
#don't get me started how she is BLAMING herself for the situation Beckett is rn. she needs to go back for her theraphy sesions right away#that's why she went with him into the woods looking for Milton and not James even so she wanted to spent every single second with him :sob:#she's conflicted. being with James is something that she dreamed of but in her opinion he deserves someone better //obviously//#...that's why she's cheering for James and Reese lol. Look she just wants James and Reese to be happy and she can see how those two care of#-each other. She's happy : )#she's an idiot 🙂#is there a potential happy ending for the three of them..? maybeeee. we'll see what the story will bring 👀#im totally confident that Sofia and Agnes had their own shared little library#Agnes wrote a poem for James when she was young but it wasn't really her forte. that's why she showed it to Sofia because she knew she will#-help her. //Agnes didn't want to tell for who it was but Sofia figured it out anyway. they both knew that the other knew but weren't-#-talking about it out loud. XD it was hilarious -- for me and I assume Sofia but Agnes was terrified. XDD//#....cough James never saw this poem anyway cough...#I have this headcanon that Agnes made up amazing horror stories that James was willing to hear (for a bunch of oatmeal cookies) when-#-they had a sleepover //those stories were from her nightmares but she never said that to James knowing he would only worry about her//#btw her parents called her 'little star' and James must have heard it and (maybe?) asked Sofia to make a necklace... Sun and Moon.#did you know that Agnes had her piece of the Sun as her necklace for the WHOLE TIME. but she hid it away under shirt... x"D she was looking#-if James had his Moon somewhere... but she did not see it. anyway she wears it always.#omg i finally made it. there's also one in my drafts nearly finished and three more to go. XD#sooo curious about book two <3#fernweh saga#my art?#Spotify#oc: agnes sigrun
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Memory Sieve
A poem inspired by this playlist of the same name, composed by Francis Wells
(memory like a sieve = when you forget things very easily)
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All your life, you've been a traveler.
Always moving, never standing still
as if
the thought of stopping
- of reflecting -
will make your heart stop beating.
Whenever you catch yourself
drifting,
reminiscing times long gone,
warm mornings of your mother sowing the summer barley,
smiling to herself,
your breath catches in your throat
and the dizziness consumes you,
as if
the memory isn't supposed to be there,
unnatural in its effort to take space
in your head.
Sometimes, I wonder.
Do you recall the little house on the hill?
Do you remember what you did
with your cruel hands?
How you touched me,
worshipped me like a God
and molded me into new shapes?
Do you remember what you told me after?
How you took it all away
as if
it never mattered at all?
Still,
the journey I took to return made me realize
that the chronicles of my life were
a blank page
before you came along.
Now, I can tell from the inside looking out
that I am indeed a person
or, at least,
human enough to touch you,
grab you by your shirt,
shake you,
and remind you of what we are.
What we became.
It seems like you forgot.
Looking at you covered in blood,
facing your back,
your gun trembling in your hands,
I know the stories they'll tell when you're gone.
Stories of a monster disguised as a man,
a cousin, a brother, a son,
but I will not wait for that time to come.
I refuse to accept it,
to make peace with it.
For we made a promise,
in the form of a blue stick-it note.
Perhaps you forgot,
but I did not.
Wake up. I'm hungry.
#idk what happened but I started writing this in the morning after listening to the playlist and talking to my beta about it#honestly they're the one to blame they tempted me#how dare you make me write poetry - sth I clearly don't passionately love#thank you so much as always#this was very fun more people should try it#get a playlist you love and use the song titles to come up with a story#it doesn't have to be a poem like mine tbh#I just couldn't resist#kinnporche the series#vegaspete#vegas theerapanyakul#pete saengtham#fanfic writing#poetry
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I know the working conditions were kinda shitty and my colleagues and bosses didn't appreciate me enough but damn I miss the bar already 😭
#maybe it's my anxiety and the drama queen in me acting up more than necessary and they have other problems rn but#i already vented a lot to my family in the last 3 days but at some point i might just make something up so i can go back as a guest for gig#like idk lying about them inviting me to come back because they wanna see me and miss me or smth idkkk#sure there are other venues but this is like a second home at this point 💔💔 plus cheap and close up concerts with iconic bands#even if they don't get paid well or even at all but i can make up for that by buying their merch and inviting them for drinks#arenas are lame i can't meet the musicians and make out with them as easily 🙄#i'm posting a poem about the bar later 💔 started it before i even thought about leaving but now it stings and feels nostalgic#hell i cried writing the goodbye message and seeing the lacking replies except for two colleagues' nice texts and my bosses' dry ones#i'm never working somewhere i loved as a customer again i swear it only ruins the experience if you know the behind the scenes#mel talks
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two-headed calf won over wild geese and how to be a dog in the poetry smack down 😭 like don't get me wrong it's a fine poem but. the other two are better. esp wild geese !!!!! thee wild geese !!!! only getting third place is a travesty
#another day of me wanting to put the internet back into literature class#personally i think ppl were too lazy to read all of how to be a dog and two-headed calf was nice and bite-sized#and split into Lines to Look Like A Poem#spicy take not abt two-headed calf but in general. just saying something and splitting it into lines does not make it a poem#don't get me started on the rupi kaur genre of internet poerty#a basic sentence that's 'relatable' with a few similes thrown in and cut up into line breaks is just. a relatable sentence cut up into line#vic.txt
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Happy Birthday part. 2 @snoobins
Whilst I
Wriggle through the lines of
Appreciated life
In my
Self the
Bed I wake in
The home I stay in I'll
Attempt to pay my due diligence in
Thanks to God
For at least I'd woken up
To you
#I don't think I ever mentioned it#but I started painting this year and put this together thinking of you#because the sunset always felt like one of our things#and I'm not sure I can draw a beach with it right now haha#so this is just a sunset and nature scene!#I actually did this some weeks ago#but somehow it is still drying to this day#I wish I could give it to you properly#but for now#It'll be safe in my hands for you ^^#I have it up on my wall to help it dry#and it#along with all the other things I have that remind me of you#like my strawberry milk pin#or my Nu'est photobook#or playing Animal Crossing#or seeing horror movies now that I know you like them too#or seeing the color yellow#or visiting the beach#or when I see something crocheted#or feeding one of the neighborhood strays#or when I see a cute Tiktok about best friends and wish I could send it to you#or something about Omori#I think you get it haha#I think about you a lot#and honestly#all the reminders I have the best friend in the world are really comforting (:#I hope you enjoy the poems and the art I made for you and have a great day!#<3 <3 <3
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The other day I had someone say they thought it sounded like I would be happier focusing on writing instead of coding (they're not really wrong but we're not getting into that)
I mentioned the comment to my dad yesterday and he responded with something that really pissed me off: "Well writing is going to become pretty obsolete soon thanks to AI like Chat GPT"
First of all, GPT is a stupid idiot. It can't even write a poem that doesn't rhyme when specifically directed to do so, or when it's told to remove the rhyme after failing to write a free verse poem in the first place.
It's never going to top human creativity. It won't make a rant about romantic attraction wrapped in a prayer to frozen yogurt. It won't pull off Amphibia's Rube Goldberg machine of Chekov's guns. It won't do a good job telling the story of a Latina, neurodivergent, bisexual girl. These are all human things that humans will do better than the stupid AI. I'm tired of people having more faith in Chat GPT than other people
#That frozen yogurt example is a real thing I wrote#I don't think I'm gonna share it though#at least not right now#Also Dad is next on the list of family members I'm gonna bitch about in a poem#I already have ones where I get angry with my mom or sisters or one particular cousin#dumb stupid ai#Chat GPT#AI#writing#rant#amphibia#the owl house#It sometimes feels like my parents don't have much interest in me the human#One thing that I saw quite a bit over the last few months was people on CS discords saying they didn't understand a certain problem#someone else would then respond suggesting Chat GPT but warn them that it WILL be wrong but it's a 'good place to start'#I personally believe if it's wrong then that's actually a very very bad place to start and you should stop suggesting it#If I'm desperate enough to be asking idiot-incapable-of-freeverse AI for help I'm doing something very wrong#That's all just my two cents though idk#I'm just frustrated
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#wrote a fucking poem#because a bitch is fucking feeling things#cue venting in the tags because this is where i'm feeling comfortable to do it right now#a while back i caught the love bug for a friend and tbFCKNh it was the very second time i'd ever actually fallen In Love with someone and..#the first time it didn't end well. long story short: i asked him out and he turned me down but we stayed friends and it actually made us..#grow closer regardless. a little while later i'd realized my feelings were Different and it just came out one night when we were having a..#really deep conversation. and i'm glad i told him because it helped me get over him and we got better and things weren't weird at all. we..#stayed really good fucking friends. now i didn't get to see him for a summer and i definitely don't have feelings for him anymore and i'm..#sincerely happy for him and his now partner. i consider him (and always have) my best friend. (among others but he's definitely Up There..#like no. 2 probably) but way too soon after Talking was summer and we were both farthest from everybody and are both the kind of ppl who..#pretty much don't text anyone except like 2 ppl and we are not one of each's 2. today i got to see him and a bunch of our friends for the..#first time since fucking april and god have i missed them all. but seeing him again kinda fucked me up a second. threw me for a massive loop#i got Weird (neg) and i was NERVOUS as HELL at the start and for a few minutes i couldn't figure out what it even WAS because i hadn't felt.#that way in a long time. and i am not about to catch those feelings for him again because No. i chilled out after like 3 minutes bc i got..#reacclimated to being around ppl My Damn Age again and things weren't Weird (neg) anymore. we talked we joked we sincerely said our I Miss..#Yous and we hung out. with everyone and alone for a bit because ppl had gone out and come back and it was FINE it was NORMAL () and we..#were GOOD. we ARE good. and i don't love him in that way anymore. i love him as a friend. and that love is definitely more intense than with#other friends because we have a deeper bond and yes because i Loved him. but the fact is i don't and it's ANNOYING to react like i still do.#and getting nervous like i still do. and i kept worrying that something i'd do might make it seem like i do and i don't and just UGH having.#feelings is annoying. i've never been able to stay friends with someone after having feelings for them at all let alone INTENSE IN LOVE FEEL#INGS!! like wtf!!! and this is sincerely one of the best friendships i've ever had and i don't want to and Won't. lose him especially for..#this but god DAMN am i not having it right now. and my head's been spinning like a fucking tornado in the 5min ride home and i accidentally.#wrote it out in a poem because the words wouldn't go anywhere when i just tried to brain dump about it because Of Course They Did. because i#can't think about this man in anyway except poetically and i can't write a poem unless it's about love in some degree and just UGH love is#and i'm gonna leave it there because i'm running risk of repeatin myself.#if you read all this i positively adore you and also you need to touch some grass bc reading the vents of internet dwellers is for suckers#i am just kidding i really do sincerely appreciate you and love you very very much thank you for caring#please ignore the following organizational tags:#writing#poetry
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I don't feel like I'm a child stuck in a teenager's body, I just feel like those three guys killed a little kid and told me to dispose of the body. Anytime I bring it up, they correct me and call it a carcass. I haven't been able to find a proper memorial for her and sometimes I would get mad at the kid for being dead and sometimes I get mad at myself for not being able to find a proper burial ground. They all told me different times, claiming it was her time of death but there's too many days to keep track of; so many days in the span of years, it's all a blur. They all cry and wail about how much she loved them but never mention anything about loving her. Years have passed, they're not around anymore but the fear of getting in trouble for not hiding her effectively is still there. I don't get as angry at the girl anymore, she can't do anything, she's dead and I empathize with her. I just hope one day I can find a proper burial for her, somewhere safe and respectful. I hope one day I won't smell of rot. One day I won't have to drag her around everywhere.
#idk who invented ptsd but i should give them a knuckle sandwich tbh#don't even get me started on the guy who added c to ptsd#idk#a poem or some shit
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Support My Writing?
There will always be good and bad
The scale will always sway when you choose the weight it shows
It will always be a choice
but never mine
I am outside of the situation
I am outside of the problem
Yet I'm the catalyst
How does a catalyst exist outside the area of damage?
It doesn't
I simply have not assessed the damage I've suffered
I cannot be harmed if I'm not aware I’m bleeding right?
Support My Writing?
#stattic#poems#poetry#trauma#me trying to write my feelings again and just getting more and more frustrated cause i can't actually talk to the people i need to about it#just me repeating everything in my head until it doesn't even sound real#relationships#listen I'm trying not to suppress things anymore but now I don't know what to do anytime I get a second to myself and start to focus on it#cause i just get trapped in it again
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having depressive episodes in college is such a weird experience because it's like. i'm watching these stars projected onto the ceiling spin around my friend's dorm while my friends play minecraft parodies, and inevitably there's some shitty beer, and i'm laying upside down on a couch until i start thinking about killing myself. and i'm like damn! go back brush my teeth change into pajamas, well, i don't know if the happy days are worth these ones. but i've got lunch plans tomorrow, so i guess it'll have to suffice.
#neg#suicide tw#like i need to answer my friend bc he just saw me five seconds ago so he knows i'm on my phone#and it's a really easy question but like. i don't want to get lunch with him#because we've been at the hip since semester started and i just. i don't know.#i don't like this. i really don't like this.#i don't feel real around my friends these days#like i'm artificially placed. like my personality has completely changed#and some people like it more and some people really hate it#i know the solution is to sleep but like. this is before the depressive episode#i already knew i was acting wrong. and i made plans these next two days and i have people i go to class with#you can never truly be alone in college but like. i don't know#i think if anyone was going to have it happen it was going to be me#i don't feel like i'm capable of this#whatever though. i'll watch a video braid my hair write a poem i'll be fine. i'll be fine.
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honestly dead apple in and of itself is peak comedic cinema
and i love it for that
The true comedy was me rewatching it yesterday because I was so stupid to believe I might have been able to understand something by watching it a second time
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd dead apple#mine#The fun part is that you'd be watching it and half movie is gone already and you'd be like “ah‚ sounds pretty linear so far‚#I don't get what the confusion was about?” And then pretty much from when Chuuya bursts into Ango's offices it's just a series of–#subsequential “uh????” in different increasing octaves#Okay just to name a few questions#What was up with Ango and Chuuya?? Is there Stormbringer context I'm missing? I didn't think Ango appeared in Stormbringer?#I feel like there's more than Chuuya being mad at Ango for introducing Shibusawa in the Dragon Head Conflict but maybe I'm mistaken?#Besides why is Shibusawa linked to the government? Are Chuuya's “six friends” the Flags? Is Stormbringer about the Dragon Head Conflict?#CAN THEY DO ME THE FAVOR OF GRANTING ME THE POSSIBILITY TO WATCH A MOVIE WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE PREVIOUSLY READ A NOVEL?#Bsd is literally turning into a mcu level of absurdity. Or was Stormbringer published afterwards and all of the mentions of events–#described in it was advertising for the novel? The Dragon Head Conflict... Really what's up with THAT was that ever explained?????#WAS THERE REALLY NOT ANY OTHER WAY DAZAI. WAS THERE REALLY. Because I can think of about 45893828392 simpler ways to save the city–#without joining the bad guys and make everything easier for them?????? Kyouka says that she controls Demon Snow through her phone.#But she doesn't‚ right?? Didn't she gain full control of her ability thanks to Fukuzawa when she joined the ada???#In that moment at the start Chuuya is able to evoke corruption without poem- is that possible or was that for dramatic effect?#Did he learn the poem in a successive moment to have more control when to activate his corruption state?#(Actually I think this might have been explained in Stormbringer) What the hell was Fyodor's plan?#What did he gain from everything that happened? Is there anything he was trying to accomplish or was he really there just for the chaos?#What did Shibusawa want to obtain exactly? Why did Shibusawa say he knew Fyodor‚ what's the link between them?#And again‚ what the fuck is up with the orphanage torture scene? How did they knew Atsushi had an ability when it didn't manifest?#Why did they want to take it out at all costs‚ what's so special about it? (I know that's one of bsd's great mysteries but still. still)#Actually‚ why didn't Dostoyevsky have to fight against his own ability? For the matter‚ why weren't we shown Chuuya doing that either?#Has that anything to do with Arahabaki? Why the fuck is there a big af dragon. Is that like? The manifestation of an abilities singularity?#I really don't get how it's possible for Shibusawa to be a ghost. Like his ability consists of separating abilities from their users–#that has nothing to do with becoming a ghost‚ does it? Then why?? Also‚ how does Dostoyevsky bring him back a second time?#Finally‚ how is the Kyouka / Atsushi / Akutagawa team so perfect 🥰🥰 And why don't they have more screentime 💔💔😔😔
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Everyone on Mercay knows Linebeck
For some reason, playing Animal Crossing always inspires me to write, and today it inspired me to write this... poem? This ...thing vaguely about Linebeck. It’s exactly 1000 words and I haven’t edited it since writing it.
So... if you’re interested in reading it, then please enjoy!
~
Everyone on Mercay knows Linebeck
He’s famous and brave and confident
And he looks the part
In his pristine coat and dashing scarf
With his flamboyant movements
And charismatic words
Most people on Mercay
And all others that know of him
Don’t think to look beyond that tailored mask
And allow their attention to be drawn
To his alluring tales
Instead of what is
Right in front of them
Those more enamored by him
Can describe his face perfectly
They always recall the curve of his smile
The glint in his sharp green eyes
The way his hair falls behind his shoulders
Too captivated by each of his calculated moves
To see the way his eyes are sunken and his cheeks are hollow
How though his hair is well-taken care of
It’s at the same time unkempt and uncombed
Every time he is seen in town
And his dexterous hands
With the prominently visible tendons
And the thin fingers that look just a bit too long
With jagged fingernails that look as though
They were bitten rather than trimmed
And whenever his coat sleeve slips back
You can see for a brief moment
His rail-thin wrists
And anyone who goes out of their way to see him
Will tell you
That is all you are able to see of him
Under those immaculate clothes
And little as it is
Hands tell detailed stories
But this captain’s hands
Tell no tales with such detail
As bandaged fingers suggest little more than
Slight mishaps in repairs
Or a slip of the hand when cooking
If he allows you close enough
Close enough to
Touch his hand for just a moment
Then every time
Without fail
Those skilled and slender hands
Are just a little too cold
Despite the way they move
And their proximity to machinery
The sailor smiles in such a way
That makes you forget the temperature of his skin
And turns your attention to his face again
His gaunt face
Hidden in plain sight
With dry and cracked lips
And circles under his eyes
Dark as the deepest depths of the sea
And the way his smile is never reflected in his eyes
He tells lavish stories and details to the listeners
Faraway islands with dangerous dungeons
That they will never see
But with enough detail and imagery
That they don’t feel that they need to
He tells about the ocean
About the endless horizon
And about himself
About his adventures
And his achievements
And everything he’s seen beyond that endless horizon
But he never talks about himself
People come from around the island to hear him talk
A few coming for the stories
A few coming out of admiration
A few coming out of desire
And they hear about an accomplished, adventurous sailor
And never about the person sitting in front of them
The ones most fascinated with him know nothing about him
They have to assume that he likes the color blue based on his coat
He never allows anyone to buy him a drink
And he never tells anyone what he likes to eat
No one knows what his hobbies are
What kinds of flowers he likes
If he likes any animals
What kinds of books he likes to read
No one knows how old he is
How long he’s been sailing
The ones most attentive when the stories are told
Make the uncomfortable realization
That he never mentions another person in his stories
No family
No friends
No companions
When he speaks to someone in the tavern
He never says their name
When someone goes to touch him
He flinches away before recomposing
He never asks favors
And never makes small-talk
Whenever he wins at cards
It can be heard that his lies
Have the same cadence as the truth
Though no one knows the truth
And no one wants to admit that
He is a different person
With everyone he speaks with
The only consistency
Seems to be the brief glimpses of anger
Flaring up so sincerely in his eyes
Or bright flashes of fear
In the way he reacts
When someone asks if he is being honest
Some nights he can be found
In the corner of the tavern
Sitting silently
With nothing to eat or drink
Laying out fifty-two cards
And then sorting them with a cold
Mechanical
Methodology
Some days
After a story he struggles to tell
He leaves very early
Blinking hard and resisting the urge to cover his ears
Shying away from touches and lights and smells
He is rarely seen in the streets of the town
And sometimes any semblance of cheer and confidence
Is gone
Replaced with listless stares and lethargic movements
And once you see past his charisma
Though the pristine grooming
The perfectly tailored responses
And the too-perfect movements
You find yourself looking at something
Something
Beneath a hollow mask
Made up of tireless imagination
Of exaggeration and mimicry
Something to hide behind
A mask that leaves you wondering
Why it was crafted in the first place
And what it is hiding
Beyond hints of an emaciated body
And shallow stories and replies
This mask
Propped up by fear
And endless charisma
And just-right movements
This mask hiding something
That almost no one on Mercay
Realizes even exists
And even those who do know what exists
Cannot search any further
As even with the mask identified
You cannot see underneath it
Unless the one wearing it removes it
And so those pretty words
Distract the people of Mercay
Away from what is hiding in plain sight
Keeping them from that deeply uncanny feeling
That something is deeply wrong
With the man that they idolize
The man they know nothing about
Except that he is a sailor
Who shares his name with his ship
But people still hear his stories
And find themselves captivated
By this hollow illusion of a man
Sitting in front of them
And still people will say
Everyone on Mercay knows Linebeck.
#you guys get a Tumblr Exclusive today#my writing#fanfiction#linebeck#phantom hourglass#loz#legend of zelda#i didnt really. plan this out i just started thinking about this. concept im trying to express while playing animal crossing#im so. enamored with this idea. that no one on mercay actually knows anything about him. that he never tells anyone about himself#that he so effectively distances himself from everyone and manages to make it so that no one actually wants to dig deeper#and that the only way to dig deeper is to get him to open up#like. we don't know a whole lot about him in ph even after he opens up to link#before i decided that the first and last lines would be the title i was thinking about the title 'hollow man' or something to that effect#the idea that there is something very visibly wrong with him both at first glance and if you pay more attention#but that he knows how to misdirect your attention to eventually fail to notice it#idk. something about this... poem? haunts me a little bit. i kind of hope that it comes off as creepy#this looks very different without word document page breaks#its like 7 pages#whatever. i wrote this in two hours and im very happy with it. hope you like it#going with the idea that this counts as a poem i am not good a poems i just wanted to be flowery and disjointed with my writing today
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