#and being insane and self indulgent is my top priority | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idontwanttospoiltheparty · 2 years

Note

if u want to talk any more about ur fic PLEASE go ahead <3 i mean this lightly bc i dont want to hurt anyone but kind of THE only valid beatles rpf imo!!! (this includes all biopics)

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Anon this made me LAUGH OUT LOUD and is also insanely kind and I love how it says Fuck Nowhere Boy rights to top it off. So thank you, you just made my evening with that <3<3

Anyways OKAY FINE. I'LL TALK ABOUT SOME BITS IN MY OWN FIC WHICH I LOVE. But I'll put it in a read more both for spoilers and because it's ridiculously self-indulgent (and I'll label bits in order by chapter so if someone's interested but not up to date they can stop reading dgdhjklhgj)

Chapter 1

I think the moment I was sure my story was worth telling, was after I wrote this bit:

This bit legitimately encapsulates SO MUCH of the entire essence of I'm Looking Through You to me. The plot sounds like a goofy, cartoonish gimmick, but at its core, I write it as a character and dynamic study and a huge part of the story is a reflection on the situation John, Paul and George found themselves in by 1966 and how drugs specifically played a role in it. I think it's generally a super under-talked about period of theirs, because there weren't any full-on fights yet, as there would be two years later, but a lot of the tension that eventually led to their fall-out is already sown by this point. Also, with Yoko and Linda not yet in the picture, more focus can be put on the way they interconnect, instead of it being sidelined for competitive Bringing-Girlfriend-To-The-Studio, if that makes sense (not that that wasn't a major factor IRL)

Chapter 2

Okay, so a thing I've discovered that I ADORE writing is John/Cyn scenes. And I don't even ship them, like I'm not writing it cause I find it especially cute, I just think there's so much THERE and we don't talk about it! I love this part so much:

The DEFENSIVENESS y'know? Mouthing off from shock but accidentally implying something low-key terrible. I feel like adding any words to it will do it less justice than it deserves because it makes me feel a type of way that John feels the need to insist that he loves Cyn but I can say no more…

Also when he nearly faints upon finding out about Julian and is entranced by the pic but ALSO Paul being a Little Too Into John's child. GOD!!!!!!!! (I've said this before but: the way Paul passively participated in the Kenwood family dynamic is insane and we should talk about it ALL THE TIME actually!!!!!)

Chapter 3

There's something tender about the moments when the rest of band get to see John wide-eyed with wonder at things they've long taken for granted. Not all of it has to be sad.

Also Paul, always focusing on the music, not only for the sake of itself and because his priorities aren't quite straight though, but also as his main tether to John as a person. I legit find it so strange when people talk about their musical connection (and their musical disagreements as well to some extent!) as if it was just a sexual proxy of some sort, when it was in fact their entire world since they were sixteen. "We could always sing."

I also actually love the entire Cyn-narrated bit in this chapter because I think it really balances her feelings for John well. (I love when she is first angry at him for having been neglectful for years, but then suddenly misses the old him, when John asks to see Julian though Julian's obviously in bed by now and even neglectful old John would know that, because he wasn't totally inconsiderate and oblivious!) One of my favourite bits from her perspective though is this one, when she bargains with herself about how John feels and felt about her. IDK it's so real and also interesting to think about the parallel she draws between her and John & Paul and Dot (one I've thought about a lot while thinking about John's feelings for Cyn tbh).

Chapter 4

(also the moment I remembered Tumblr sets an image limit lmaooooo so I'll try to tone it down with the screenshots)

The entire beginning of this chapter, with Julian and later also Paul is so *gestures vaguely*. There's just so much going on, and even though it divolves into John feeling like an inadequate parent, forced to rely on his best friend who doesn't even have kids of his own, I think the most touching part is when John realizes Julian genuinely doesn't care that he's forgotten things and how that radical acceptance is the moment he falls irrevocably in love with his son. I just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Also this is the first chapter that incorporated a really elaborate interpolation of song lyrics with the plot and I was so NERVOUS to get it right and soooooo happy to see people responding positively to it, because I've always known it was a more fringe thing to be writing about. Also, I love John just... Appreciating that he gets to play on nice instruments now. Playing on nice instruments is Everything in fact.

Chapter 5

I really like the crowd scene in the beginning of this chapter, and capturing a true mob mentality; how John giving them one second of positive attention tips everything out of control, how the fans burst into tears the moment they do reach him.

Also, I truly adore Paul at the beginning, feeling helpless in the face of John's grief driving him to madness, but snapping back out of it the moment he believes John to be in danger, while not being able to shake his sense of responsibility as a Beatle for the sake of his friend. Helping isn't always easy. Doing the right thing can feel like an impossible option.

And then, there's this John/Cyn moment:

I really didn't write this to be cute. There's so much going on under the surface here; Cyn is in complete control – and very desperate to keep it that way – and John is only vaguely aware of it and has no idea of the extent to which she's in control. But he doesn't care because he's just that torn up about everything, so he's more than willing to let it all happen.

Also, in a way the heart of the chapter is John's debate-turned-fight with Paul over the reverse guitar solo. I talked about John's perspective already here, but Paul's view on it is so dripping with… dare I say it? Grief, where he's not only deeply in love with the idea of Lennon-McCartney – Genius Duo but also desperately trying to carry out the wishes of a "recently departed". (Paul is an ass in this scene towards the end, but CONSIDER he is also a meow meow.)

Chapter 6

Paul is so often just… At a loss of words and I love pushing him into the uncomfortable position of having to find them. But it's tragic, too; that John used to be so in sync with him that it had never been necessary before. And also Paul, always teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown and hating himself every time he shows it.

I love how he realizes that smoking weed with John is in a way a betrayal of Ringo and George, because at their root, friendships are all about the experiences you have together. And it makes perfect sense for him to rationalize it away, thinking about how being "locked out" of the first LSD trip damaged his relationship with John.

Also the little tiny nudge at the less sunny side of Paul's childhood (and how John was very much to some extent at least aware of it, as we know from interviews he gave in the 70s) and how he somehow had to reconcile that with how John treated Julian. I just … :(

Chapter 7

The little hints that maybe John Was Not Fine before he hit his head either.

Yeah. Also, also, also John throwing himself into something he thinks is the one-size fits-all solution ag– I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF!!!!!

Also, John's Paris lament was conjured out of me OUT OF NOWHERE and I was sooooooo genuinely upset after writing it. I think it really encapsulates why the story is relatable to me despite having a ridiculous plot; it really drives home how confusing life can get during young adulthood, when everyone else seems to be dealing far better than you.

And the other relatable side of this, to me, is Paul at the end of this chapter, because I have felt real anguish like his, when people close to me failed to share in a passion I was so sure they would love. It seems silly but it's genuinely one of the most upsetting and alienating experiences imaginable to me.

I think I'll stop now because GODDAMN what the fuck lmao, and also I believe I've run out of screenshots but TLDR: this story means the woooooooooooorld to me!!!!!!!!

#my fucking god this is as long as the fic itself #anyways im literally.... like i love all my characters in it so much #ask #anon #fic #fiona.docx

8 notes · View notes

bokutosworld · 3 years

Text

night time activities with hq boys

- the little things and shenanigans that they like to do with their s/o once the world has quieted down and people have gone to sleep zzz

wc: 1.9k words, fluff, sfw.

characters: kageyama, hinata, yamaguchi, oikawa, iwaizumi, bokuto, kuroo, ushijima, semi, atsumu!

a/n: so this was intended to be a mini hc list but i got carried away in my feels and just wrote mini scenarios for my top ten hq boys. this is self-indulgent ngl mom i love them :’)

💌 he always gets asked what's the secret to his clear and smooth skin. well, the answer is you. since the two of you started living together, you've gotten kageyama on board in your nightly skincare routine. he doesn't mind it even if tsukishima and hinata tease him endlessly, something about the 'king of the court' being soft for you. as soon as he comes out from the shower, he positions himself on the edge of the bed, letting you stand between his legs as you wipe his face with a toner, followed by a moisturizer. then you'll get a sheet of face mask and put it on carefully. 'thank you, y/n,' he'd always say with a smile before pulling you to his chest, laughter echoing around the room, as you both fall on the bed.

💌 you thought your relationship with hinata wouldn't survive the long distance. but despite the thousand miles separating the both of you and the difference in timezones, he made sure to always wish you sweet dreams and good night. sometimes, he would call you in the middle of practice or while he's sitting in the train during commute. if he's lucky to have a free day, he'd call you while he's also in bed and you guys would talk non-stop, exchanging stories, saying your i love yous and i miss yous. and when you're the first one to snooze, he'd chuckle in the background, taking a few screenshots of your adorable sleeping face before saying goodnight and ending the call with a smile.

💌 one of the things that made yamaguchi fall in love with you was your love for studio ghibli films. when the topic was brought up among your friend group, he instantly whipped his head to where you were and before he knew it, his feet were bringing him to you. you were already friends so you didn't mind him joining the conversation, he was mesmerized with how you passionately talked about your love for howl's moving castle or how you talked about the nostalgic soundtrack of from up on poppy hill. the rest was history and now, five years into the relationship, watching studio ghibli films every friday night has become a tradition to both of you. oftentimes, you would find yourselves cuddled on the bed, legs entangled and arms wrapped around one another. spirited away was playing on the laptop, the light illuminates the dark room as the both of you slowly drifted to sleep. it was in moments like these that you felt overwhelmed and satisfied with the security and comfort of being with him.

💌 oikawa was spontaneous - it kept you on your toes, always wondering what kind of surprise or gimmick he has prepared for you. the day before a big presentation, you were nervous and you made sure he knew it by texting him non-stop, sending him memes that expressed what you couldn't say in words. he didn't want to say you were overreacting in fear of getting on your bad side, but he has no doubt that after spending weeks in preparation that you can ace your presentation. still, he wanted to be of help to you and he knew just how to lift your mood up. it was 2:15 am when you were woken up by the incessant ringing of your phone. you pick it up, ready to shout at whoever was on the other side when you heard his laugh, 'grab your jacket, we're getting mcdonalds.' you didn't need to be told twice, almost running down the stairs so you can get your fix of your fave happy meal. after getting takeout, he drove you to a park and laid out a blanket. you sat and enjoyed your food in peace before he mentioned something about the stars shining bright tonight, turning to you with the biggest grin on his face, 'but i have the brightest star in the world right now by my side.'

💌 iwaizumi could never see what it was about video games that you loved so much. though after dating you since high school, he's been used to being ignored, put on voicemail, and being the second priority whenever you had a console in hand. but one late night, he got curious about the new title you were playing, super smash bros, and figured he could give it a try. you were surprised when he suddenly sat on the couch and scooted closer to make room for himself. he took your extra controller and asked to play for one round. little did he know that one game became two, which became three until the both of you couldn't keep track anymore as he kept losing and asking for a rematch. when you closed the game, the sun was slowly peeking over the clouds. you kissed him on the cheek before retreating to bed 'thanks for playing with me, iwa. that was one of the best games i've had.' he wouldn't admit it but he enjoyed it too, and he was thankful that he had the following day off or he'd be nursing an insane headache at work due to lack of sleep.

💌 people thrived off of the contagious energy that bokuto radiated, and you were no stranger to that. you were all too familiar with the intoxicating feeling that one can get by being around him. being with him, living with him, there were no dull days or quiet evenings. there would be nights that he'd still be high on the adrenaline that came from winning their game, that before sleeping, bokuto would drag you up your feet and get you singing your favorite songs. he didn't need a mic, his loud voice was enough and it reverberated around the room. you'd both be laughing, stumbling over the lyrics as you danced to a silent beat. jumping up and down, you're worried that the neighbors might report you to the guards in the apartment lobby. but none of it would soon matter as he'd suddenly collapse on the bed, pulling you with him. you fall to his chest and you hear the erratic beating of his heart. he lifts your chin up to look at him and he presses a chaste kiss on your lips, 'thank you for being with me all this time.'

💌 due to the nature of his job, you'd been used to kuroo returning home almost midnight due to doing overtime. often, he'd return to a dark apartment as you'd already be tucked in bed, drifting off to a deep sleep. but tonight was different. it was 11:45 pm and when kuroo turned the knob and swung the door open, he was surprised to see you sprawled out on the floor of the living room. a mess of polaroid photos, printed stickers, papers, and craft items were beside. you greeted him with a smile, he returned it with one of his own and question fell on his lips, 'what are you doing here?' he swears he melted on the spot when you said you were making a scrapbook of your moments and milestones together. something about the idea of you collating everything - from when you went on your first date, your first kiss, your first out-of-town trip - had the butterflies in his stomach go crazy. he loosens his tie and undos the first two buttons of his shirt before joining you on the floor, looking forward to staying up all night reminiscing your memories together.

💌 as soon as you and ushijima got home from date night, he'd head straight to the kitchen to brew your favorite cup of tea while you went ahead to wash up and prepare for bed. he'd bring two cups to the room, placing yours on vanity table and his on the nightstand. when you came out of the shower, you'd go straight to your vanity to do your evening skincare, noticing the tea he had prepared and taking a sip before putting on moisturizer. ushijima would take his place behind your back, a hand resting on your shoulder as the other leaned to get your brush. he'd gently comb your hair, dragging the brush slowly over your tresses. 'is this okay? it doesn't hurt?' you'd look at his reflection in the mirror, catching his eyes and you reassure him that it's fine. silence envelopes the two of you, but it's not the awkward kind. it's the one that puts you at ease, erasing your worries as he continues his action. when he finishes, he returns the brush on its spot, turning you around to give you a kiss, 'i love you.'

💌 semi notices something was wrong when you arrived home all quiet. usually, you'd run to where he was - often in the kitchen where he was cooking food or in his mini studio where he composed songs - but tonight, you made a beeline to your shared bedroom. he follows and observes as you throw your bag on the floor before falling face first on the bed. he swears he heard you take a big sigh and takes that as his cue to prepare a warm bath for you. semi makes sure that the water temperature is just how you like it, pouring your favorite bubble soap and lighting up your favorite scented candles all over the room. when he's done, he makes his way over to you, 'come on, sweetheart. i readied a bubble bath for you.' your ears perk up hearing his words and you get up, letting him take your hand as he brought you to the bathroom. he helps you take off your clothes and assists as you sit in the tub. and just when he was about to make his leave, you grab his hand, 'i'd be a lot more comforted if you were here with me.' knowing what you meant, he nods, ridding himself of his clothes before joining and hugging you from behind. 'you're okay now, i got you.'

💌 the past few days have been unkind to you and atsumu. with him being busy with extended training and you being occupied with an insane amount of workload that came with your promotion, you didn't really have enough time to spend awake at home. and atsumu misses you and your voice. it wasn't enough for him just to cuddle up to you when sleeping as he'd always feel bad whenever he had to leave in the morning. so despite knowing that you'd get mad for getting up before the sun has risen, he shook you lightly, 'hey, wake up, i want to show you something.' you opened your eyes slowly, looking for the source of disruption of your sleep, but when you realized it was atsumu, you simply groaned before raising your arms in request from him to carry you. he complies, carrying you bridal style to the car and he speeds off to a nearby park hill. when he alerts you that you have arrived at the destination, you rub sleep off your eyes and come out of the car just in time to see the sun rising over the horizon. the scene unveiling right in front of the both of you was so beautiful that you were left speechless. atsumu hugs you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder and exhales, 'i missed you so much. let's take our time here, okay?' eventually, the two of you reported sick for work/practice but it was worth it.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuucreations #haikyuu x you #hq fluff #hq x reader #hq fics #haikyuu texts #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu!!

281 notes · View notes

sitp-recs · 3 years

Text

I never expected to be tagged in this game but the lovely @the-starryknight was generous enough to mention my reclists and at the risk of sounding pretentious I will accept this kind invitation! Thank you for thinking of me 💜

I wanna tag each and every creator on this hellsite but I know some of you already did the thing (pls ignore if that’s the case!) so I’ll tag @bixgirl1, @lqtraintracks, @the-sinking-ship, @shealwaysreads, @prolix- @dracoladon, @cibeewastaken, @veelawings, @p1013, @lazywonderlvnd, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @maesterchill, @slytherco, @drarrytrash, @quicksilvermaid, @fluxweeed, @magpiefngrl, @punk-rock-yuppie, @andithiel, @phd-mama, @xx-thedarklord-xx, @lettersbyelise, @teacup-tai, @tinyhistory, @writcraft, @ohdrarry and anyone else who’d like to do it! No pressure whatsoever, of course :)

Top 5 of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. 1k milestone celebration: I like this series because it was a statement. I’m really proud of myself for coming up with a mix of drabbles and self-indulgent recs on that week - not only I got to spread love for fics usually overlooked because of their length, I also established my blog as a safe space for all kinds of ships and kinks, which has always been my priority due to previous fandom experiences. Knowing that authors feel seen and appreciated for fics that aren’t mentioned often (if at all) is so rewarding. Hopefully this has inspired everyone else to adopt DL;DR and kinktomato in their fandom lives, as well as encouraged both authors and readers to indulge themselves more often 🙌🏼

2. Drarry for Beginners: I’ve always been a bit hesitant about making anything resembling an ultimate/must-read/classics reclist. I’ve been in the fandom for a long time but there’s so much I haven’t/won’t read and to me, reccing is still something extremely personal. I’d hate to think someone feels like they should read everything I put on my lists, because they limit the fandom and bend it to my personal tastes. It’s only a small portrait that doesn’t convey how big and diverse the Drarry universe is. That being said, I’ve received some generous and wonderful feedback about this project which makes me so very happy and relieved because I’ve worked really hard on it. I tried to put myself on a newcomer’s shoes at all times, and made sure to include different takes and styles - in fact, I selected some popular tropes then set some ground rules hoping to avoid the trap of only reccing my favorite stuff. I’m thrilled to know it’s actually helping people navigate this huge wonderful fandom, that’s all I could ask for 🙌🏼

3. Smutty reclist: another self-indulgent little thing I did recently. It was a bit insane to put all those lists together and publish two per day but I’ve had so much fun doing it! I’m quite proud of myself for accepting that I wouldn’t be able to write reviews for each fic, and understanding it would be okay, they would still be personal and special. I also like that I decided to make this something more “me” - I brushed BDSM aside and included fics with Blaise and the Weasleys because I’ve been into them lately - and the fact that people still enjoyed it was really nice :)

4. Old gems reclist: I loved this one because it was super fun to track all those old goodies down. I’m a nostalgic hoe in general and this list made me look back at the 00s with fondness and think of my “first loves” back when I was starting to read works in English. I keep telling myself I’m gonna revisit some of them when I have time but ughh they’re all ass-long epics and where’s the time to properly enjoy it 😭

5. Finally, my fave single recs! I’m particularly proud of the one I did for Modern Love - after reading the fic I thought it would be impossible to put my incoherent thoughts into words but in the end the process was pretty smooth. I knew right away what I wanted to use as the banner motif (which is usually the hardest part because I’m a pretentious shit when it comes to those) and from there everything felt so natural! I was thrilled to know one of my all-time favorite reads was written by my friend @tackytigerfic and somehow that excitement made writing down my thoughts so much easier because for once I was writing them for Tacky and not the readers. It’s one of the most emotional recs I’ve ever written and hopefully it resonated with other people! I also have a soft spot for my rec for That Old Black Magic by @bixgirl1, which I did back when my blog was still a smol baby and my commentaries were way shorter with less rambling lol. That banner is my ultimate fave, I find it so pretty and I think it captures the mood I was going for, evoking the ending’s gentle atmosphere.

#top 5 2020 #meme tag #thank you the-starrynight 💗#drarry

71 notes · View notes

surveysonfleek · 4 years

Text

1548.

Zodiac Bingo

Aries Gotta go fast Independence Participant, always Fuck you, don’t tell me what do to *brooding intensifies* Good sense of humor I ain’t neva scared “I’m not competitive but I’m gonna win” Assertive Going first Running yellow lights

People are drawn to you even tho you don’t invite them Feelings = action Impulsivity Creative Leader Competent “I thought you didn’t like me”-everyone Accidentally hurting people’s feelings Shares everything with partner What if the pope blasted cigs? Starting shit you don’t feel like finishing “I guess that was rude” No. 9/24

Taurus Treat yo’self Underappreciated at work Loyalty Great tastes in art&culture Spoiled (or wishing you were) Robe appreciation A vice (alcohol, weed, or comfort food) Homemaking/nesting Continuing to do something you don’t love just because you’re resistant to change Affection via touch Easy going Perfecting a wardrobe that is both comfy and flawless Having good ass eyebrows Highkey sensitive Stubborn af Not even taking your *own* advice Gossiping Lady in the street but a freak in the bed Creativity Spooning Commitment Stressing out over a change in someone’s tone of voice Finishing what you started Lots of venting lol 9/24

Gemini Unpopular opinion factory Secret&diverse intellectual landscape “Oh I got really into *miscellaneous hobby or topic* for a while” Intellectualizing or ignoring feelings Cleaning maybe once a year Look, a distraction! Thinking faster than you can talk Restless without hobbies Talking faster than you can think Reading four books at once Tons of energy Teaching others what you know Trivia machine Moodiness Knowing everything but also forgetting everything Existential crisis “Sorry I forgot to text you back” So many interests so little time Accidentally talking too loud Young at heart Pretty good public speaker Endless scrolling Shitposting Unpredictable sleep schedule 5/24

Cancer Connecting with women “Guess I’ll have to love you with my whole heart and soul” Vegetarianism/veganism Fear of rejection Surrounding yourself with soft blankets and mood lighting Ferocious protector “I’m not going to dwell on it” *dwells on it* Takes child-rearing seriously Hardshell protecting soft ego Feeding sad friends Forecast: mood swings Heart of gold but still a badass Bad with boundaries Learning how to relax like it’s your job Lightweight drinker Yeah. Crying, ok? It’s not a big deal Mama trauma Food = comfort Nostalgia as a coping mechanism Identify built off memories Complaining Very emotionally intuitive of others Big fan of physical and emotional affection People telling you all their BS all the time 9/24

Leo Friendly Self-indulgence Never being able to tell if you’re the best or the worst People trying to compete with you lol Sensitive Decent at cheering people up Great hair Wardrobe swings between hot as hell and lazy af Interrupting Having a sense of honor Not doing something because you’re not good at it Talking too loud Finding dogs pretty relatable Creative talent Super supportive friend Enthusiasm Socializing like it’s your job&then needing to recharge Memes Priorities: eating and sleeping Boo hiss at rejection Looking good even when you feel like shit Drama Needing lots of love Loyal 9/24

Virgo Relating to Hermione Granger Gives great advice even when your own life is in shambles Flirting and running, an autobiography Petty Pretty damn intelligent Loving words/linguistics 8 hours of “studying” = 1 hour of real work Swings between clean and slobbish Indecision Splurging on food Mom friend A freak on the DL Peculiar eating habits Pretty good with words Good with pets and/or kids Known to schedule sex Multitasking af Cleaning as a coping mechanism “It me” Loves self-care but deprioritizes it 0 to hottie in 2 seconds flat Lowkey wood nymph All the receipts Bratty sub or service top 10/24

Libra If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all Pls no fighting Good judge of character Leadership roles in friendships Takes up less emotional space for the well being of others Art adoration Real glo up wizards Nature adoration Hates boredom Wholesome Keep it cute Emotionally braced for betrayal Lowkey running from problems with people Falling in love with people’s hearts/minds Investing in your appearance Loves all things cute Always the mediator Trust issues Charming Staying up to date on culture Taking the high road Always putting your feelings aside for others Aesthetics Mom friend 6/24

Scorpio Growing up early Being a new person every few years Black/dark wardrobe Pain is cool Interest in psychology/criminology/sociology Privacy Sexual but not promiscuous All or nothing thinking Intelligent Loner/lonely Taking care of everyone Would kill or die for loved ones Protective as fuck Bloodhound for truth Deep Fascination with death/insanity/occultism Love-hate relationships “idk I’m just feeling numb rn” Jealous or possessive Trust issues Loyal as fuck Secretly soft Gets shit done Boundaries 6/24

Sagittarius Long ass bucket list Prefers to mind their own business Unbothered Nice enough that people always think you’re hitting on them Fear of missing out Optimism Honest and upfront Your shit is lowkey not together Plenty of friends Snobby enough to have good taste Flirting your way into something you can’t finish Storyteller or philosophical preacher “Here for a good time, not a long time” “…rude” Free spirit “Films” Distracted Smarter than you look I’m just speaking my truth! “I’m just inviting a few people” Falls in love with your mind, then your body Blows up the aux cord Hedonism phases Horniness gets you into some shit lol 11/24

Capricorn On your grind Discipline dgaf attitude Stoic in the streets, softie in the sheets Planning ahead, way ahead Always prepared (Un)healthy coping mechanisms Likes structure Prioritizing self-mastery Loyal protector of friends, babies, and animals Basically born an adult Dark humor People being mad about your tough love Old soul Major procrastinator Kind of a know-it-all on the DL Major sadness and madness People thanking you for your tough love People think you’re responsible “Why was I programmed to feel pain” meme Parenting your parents “Lock that in the trauma vault” Either a loner or a socialite Giving advice like it’s your job 5/24

Aquarius Me, an intellectual: Needing to do things your way Superiority complex Gossip Conspiracy theories Skepticism Not even having the energy to tell people how wrong they are Courteous/considerate People love you but you hate people Lonely Outsider syndrome Relating to cats a great deal Hates being told what to do or when to do it Not trusting someone/something that’s popular Being accused of being emotionless Insightful Feeling like the only rational person in a room Existential crisis Devil’s advocate just to get people to think Rationalizing tf out of your feelings Hates small talk Vices You’re entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong it is Interest in sociology, psychology, and politics 10/24

Pisces Empath Dramatic Poetry or music Lots of imagination, fluctuating identity Getting high on being outside (and maybe weed) Alone time “Idk I’m just a lil sad rn idk” Spiritual af Helping people heal Existential dread Pets love you Mommy issues Good with kids Cathartic crying over art, movies, or nature Knowing how people feel before they do Feeling misunderstood/alone “Go with the flow” Encountering spirits On life: “I’m just here for the ride” Drugs Forgiving others but blaming yourself Kindness Sorry, I was dissociating Exploring nature 3/24

I am most like a: Sagittarius

I am actually a: Sagittarius (I actually don’t really believe in starsigns but here you go lol)

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

12 notes · View notes

taylorverse · 5 years

Text

My Taylor Swift Story

@taylorswift

hello taylor! can i just make a big point to say how incredible you are. so i don’t really make these sorts of posts because it just seems unrealistic to be not just noticed by you but by any other swifties. You, Miss Taylor Alison Swift are the actual reason why some people are still living their day to day lives. I have literally grown up listening to your music and there’s always been an element of happiness that it brings me, whether its the vibe of the song or the melody or the lyrics or the sweet and pure way your voice echoes the words. I have had every single album of yours on repeat for all the times i’m hovering over the bath shaving my legs, procrastinating doing revision and literally jamming to old tswift songs in my bedroom. I have spent hours laying in my bed looking up at the ceiling playing all too well whilst i cry my eyes about relating the lyrics to how hard life can be and how difficult it is to keep going. But your music has always been a huge element of my well-being as it just provides a sense of stability; the songs you’ve sung is the poetry of my emotions and the lingering thoughts that I just can’t seem to say. My younger self didn’t even realise what a toll you had on me growing up, I always bought every single calender and all the albums. I remember my dad buying me the signed version of RED and it was just the happiest day of my life. I so clearly remember just holding it in my hands and feelings so happy in that moment. The years where i was beginning to get a bit older and things started to shift, your music was the constant that was always there and never left. I had dance parties where I would be alone in my bedroom singing with the huge poster of you hung above my bed (which once actually fell on my face in the middle of the night and was absolutely terrorfying). My favourite memory was sitting downstairs late at night, when I was like 9 and watching the livestream for RED when you sat in nashville and played acoustic songs on your guitar. I was so happy in that moment, to be able to just feel so connected to a woman who didn’t even know I existed was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Then came my birthday where my dad surprised me with Red tickets I LITERALLY CRIED. The night came and it was my first concert, it was one of the London nights and we sat right at the back. My most vivid memory of that night was the two people behind us who were obnoxiously going on about how they were gonna meet you after and that the show didn’t matter as much. Me and my dad would look at eachother with a jealous smirk and enjoyed the show. To be honest, I can’t actually remember that much but of what I do, I could have sworn you waved at me (even though there were probably about 4894 people in my direction) and the small kid i was held onto that as we trecked our way back on the train at midnight. As this was my first concert and I was so young, it felt so cool to be awake so late and I was in awe of the night I had experienced.

Being at school, I was always known as the swiftie. I bought the drawstring Red tour bag from the concert because my dad said i couldn’t buy a top as he said “there’s no point in buying it if you’re going to grow out of it”. Anyway i used it as my PE bag and still do to this day. Everyone would tease me and I used to just SHAKE IT OFF and ignore the haterzzzz. My life was completely altered by that night, I wouldn’t stop thinking about it and I remember doing a show and tell in class where I played the videos I took of the concert on the big screen to my whole class as I passed around the rubber wristband I had too bought from that night. Everyone was so amazed by my experience, I was just so happy that I had seen my role model and that my life felt fulfilled at that point.

I’m now in secondary school, I have never ever stopped playing your music. I even got an app to see how many times I had replayed songs and it turns out i have listened to Speak Now all the way through 800 times (not including the years of listening to it on my iPod). Then when one day I was sitting watching greys anatomy (wink), I got an instagram notification that you had posted a picture. My heart sank as I began to wonder WHAT THE HELL YOU POSTED since you had disapperred from earth. Seeing the what i know now as the snake, I literally jumped out of excitement & an overwhelming burst of confusion built up as I tried to figure out what the hell was happening. More pictures posted and my lil swiftie inside of me came rushing out as I just skipped around the living room. I still remember staying up late to watch LWYMMD music video. It was insane. I lay in my bed with my headphones plugged into my phone and quietly shrieked at the BEAUTY of it. At this point I wasn’t as indulged in the online fandom as I am now, so I started to follow accounts like @marthaswiftie on instagram to be more involved and find out all these crazy theories. The reputation album came out the year right before my life kinda went downhill. I remember the tickets came out for the tour and I didn’t even ask my parents to go because we were going through such a tough time that my own selfish wants were not the priority.

So beginning 2018, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. We soon found out that it was terminal, which just broke our family individually in different ways. Our family is extreamely close and for something like this to happen, it was such a huge surprise that we just didn’t know how to react. My closest memory was sitting Physics class, just staring into space and all of these horrible thoughts were flooding my mind and all of the worst case scenarios just ruined me. Yet my naive self was so unaware of my emotion that I just carried on with my life, instead trying to be overly happy about life. At this point, my dad was is hospital most of the weeks spending time having his radiotherapy and chemotherapy done. I tried so hard to not think about it, that I ended up having so many breakdowns of which I spent crying my eyes out in my room just trying to hold onto hope that seemed so far away. Selfishly, I so wanted to see you on tour just to give me a pick-me-up but i felt so bad about wanting something for myself since I shouldn’t even be thinking of anything but him. Yet instead, I was so broken that I just ignored what was going on around me. This is what I’ve been learning to cope with and i think at points i felt so defeated. The tour month came up, i watched endless clips of people going and felt so hopeless in seeing you. I was in such a rut of trying to feel happier, yet trying to cover up the way I dealt with things by watching every Youtube video under the sun and literally all the shows on netflix to exist. Even writing this now feels so narrow-minded but it was just the way I was going through it. The literal day before the tour, my sister surprised me with tickets and i canNOT TELL YOU the rush of happiness I felt. I sobbed so much, I did not sleep as I lay thinking about what I was going to wear and the fact that i was going to see you in the flesh.

The day came, and there are truly no words to describe it. I left school early, rushed home and did my makeup and hair. We hopped on the train and made our way up to london. I remember getting into Wembley and as soon as we walked out of the station I saw a huge group of people wearing merch tops and that’s when it started to kick in. We had a few hours, so we walked up and down the streets, me noticing all the outfits from music videos and award shows that people were dressed up in. Then we sat in nando’s, literally starving and as we ate our food just kept repeating to eachother, “we’re gonna see TAYLOR SWIFT” and every time it gave me goosebumps. A little girl came in as we were finishing, she had little cat ears on and a tutu. She had a top that she had DIYed herself that said I LOVE TAYLOR on it. My heart melted as we made our way out of the restaurant and grinned our way up to the stadium. The closer we got, we saw so many people with VIP necklaces and we looked at eachother rolling our eyes because we were jealous haha. I was so shocked by the diversity of people there, literally every type of person was surrounding us obviously in awe of the event that was about to occur. My favourite bit was walking up the huge pathway to the door entries, we came super early so I could get merch and our route was filled with girls screaming at the sight of eachother. My sister was so confused so I filled her in on the details of how so many people meet online through fan acounts and these concerts are where some of them finally meet. The merch queue was huge, but i had saved enough for a hoodie so we made the decision to stand in it. There were a few girls behind us complaining about the outfits people were wearing, we were annoyed because they kept saying “why do they dress up so much she’s not gonna see them” and my blood just boiled as their remarks piled on top of eachother. As we reached the front of the queue, we heard Charlie playing from the stadium because this line ended being 2 HOURS LONG. I didn’t care though, I said to my sister that the whole fun of it is to wait the long hours and dedicate our time to this day as it was a once in a lifetime. I bought the black hoodie with the zipped hood, they didn’t have small so I got Medium which ended being HUGE, but I love it because I snuggle in i every night. Straight after, my sister took a cute pic of me in the hoodie to send to my mum right before we were about to go through security. It was my first time at wembley so I had no idea what I was doing, but I just followed my sister as we got our bags checked and prepared ourself for the view we were about to whitness. My heart began beating so fast, I was in complete shock and my sister gripped my hand as we found our entry doorway. My first thought was, WHAT THE HELL. I had never been in such an overwhelming place. IT WAS HUGE. the amount of people there just left me in a sedated state for a second before we trudged down the stairs to find out seats. We were in block E, on the floor. It was my first time not being super high up, so i felt so privileged as i strut across the metal walkway feeling so happy about where i was. The struggle to find our seats was REAL. We spent ages when they ended up just being right in front of us the whole time. As soon as we scooted through the others, we sat down and just took a second to realise that we were about to whitness TAYLOR SWIFT PERFORM. My adrenaline was going crazy, my sister took tons of pictures and videos to send to my parents and they were so jealous! Then Camila came on, she was incredible. Everyone stood up as my short height meant I was staring at the huge screen, miming to lyrics to consequences and never be the same. She left and the stadium began to flll up and it just got so much louder. Anticipation grew, every single person in that stadium was just so happy. The Ready for It tune started and that’s when it all kicked off. I lifted myself from my seat, screamed to my hearts content as my sister sang along whilst also watching me give a performance in front of her. Every song was just so amazingly performed. Then when the b stage was next, the whole floor just legged it to get closer. I was nervous to lose my sister or the bags so i remember turning behind me as my sister grabbed the bags and said ‘go’. Little old me bent through the crowd, I ducked beneath and tried to get as close as I could. I remember standing on a chair and as I did i realised that i was less than 5 metres away from TAYLOR SWIFT. I sang along to So it goes and turning back every now and then to see where my sister was and I kept saying ‘Emma, I AM SO CLOSE I AM GONNA CRY’. Every now and then I would pull my phone out for videos but I wanted to grasp this moment as I let all my worries wash away and I whitnessed the most insane moment of my life. As the move for the next stage came, I followed the movement of the crowd as the security officers began to strictly tell people to stop standing on chairs. There I was, spinning around every now and then to see the crowd. Dress was the current song and my eyes lit up at the beauty of Miss swift. The concert followed with so much energy, the seats we had were right at the back of the floor but it was amazing to feel the lit up souls of everyone around me. There was just so much energy, so much love. One thing I remember was grooving to a song when the confetti began to float over us. We were so far back that it didn’t quite reach us yet this one piece was slowly floating mid air quite far back. I followed it with my eyes and reached to grab it as another girl took my opertunity. I was slightly annoyed, but the scenery of lights and idea of my idol being in the same room brought me back to happiness. The night ended with me and my sister talking on the phone to my mum, praising the show and just feeling so blessed. The nightmare of getting home began, as we got on the wrong train and then as we finally settled we were so tired that we almost got lost. My sisters boyfriend picked us up and we got home in a blur of sleep.

That night was unforgettable. It was just all my needs in one place, i felt so satisfied and i watched the videos I filmed of it months and months after, remenising on it. Coming back to present, TS7 is on its way. I woke up at 5am to see the ME! music video as soon as it comes out and see all of the hype. This has been the best day in ages. I have bought the song on itunes and streamed it on every device & app. My fingers literally ache from typing this in one sitting, but it was amazing because I just went through that night all over again from writing about it. But my point is. Whoever is reading this, Taylor or even just my grandma; there is happiness out there. I live by Taylor Swift and her music, she will always and forever be my role model, I LOVE YOU @taylorswift

#taylor swift #taylurking #taylornation #me! taylor swift #me! music video #taylor swift swifie #swiftie #swifties #taytay

6 notes · View notes

rinnnyxr · 3 years

Text

One rule: bold everything that applies to you, then count the answers.

Pisces Empath Dramatic Poetry or music Lots of imagination, fluctuating identity Getting high on being outside Alone time “Idk I’m just a lil sad rn idk” Spiritual af Helping people heal Existential dread Pets love you Mommy issues Good with kids Cathartic crying over art, movies, or nature Knowing how people feel before they do Feeling misunderstood/alone “Go with the flow” Encountering spirits On life: “I’m just here for the ride” Drugs Forgiving others but blaming yourself Kindness Sorry, I was dissociating Exploring nature 11/24

I am most like a: Taurus I am actually a: Virgo

Have you today? Watched an animation? Pet an animal? Been grocery shopping? Talked to a sibling? Seen a spider? Had a stomach ache? Seen someone attractive? Played a musical instrument? Eaten meat? Brushed your teeth?

Have you in the last week? Paid for something with a credit card? Kissed someone passionately? Told someone you miss them? Read a book? Been to the gym? Broken a fingernail? Collected the mail? Been to work? Used something with batteries? Eaten cheese?

Have you in the last month? Been to a doctor? Packed a suitcase? Tried a new food you’d never eaten before? Taken a bubble bath? Chewed gum? Played a card game? Seen a movie at the cinema? Been on an airplane? Blocked someone on Facebook or other social media?

Have you in the last six months? Been in a hospital for any reason? Written a handwritten letter? Been on a train? Gotten a haircut? Broken up with someone? Eaten out at a restaurant? Stayed in a hotel? Been to a concert?

Have you in the last year? Been to a funeral? Held a newborn baby? Been to an amusement park? Dyed your hair? Been to the dentist? Smoked a cigarette? Been to a cemetery? Bought something over $500?

Shy Girl 1. You haven’t been in a lot of relationships. 2. People have asked you to speak up because they couldn’t hear what you were saying. 3. You get nervous when meeting new people. 4. You’re not good at talking to guys you like. 5. You have trouble making new friends. 6. With a group of friends, you are usually the one who doesn’t add much to the conversation. Total: 4

The Girl With Low Self-Esteem 1. You are not happy with your appearance. 2. You don’t think you’re good enough for any guy. 3. You don’t bother trying to get a date because you know you don’t have a chance. 4. You think people are lying when they compliment you. 5. You are not satisfied with your weight. 6. Sometimes you wish you were someone else. Total: 4

The Girl Who Is Too Obsessive 1. You like to know where your boyfriend is at all times. 3. You tell your boyfriend what he is and isn’t allowed to do. 4. Sometimes you message/text/call your boyfriend too much. 5. You’ve followed a boyfriend before because you thought he was cheating. 6. You have trouble keeping a boyfriend. Total: 1

Flirty Girl 1. You are obsessed with cute guys. 2. You have cheated or would cheat on a boyfriend. 3. You can’t be happy with just one guy. 4. You have been known to flirt a lot. 5. What your boyfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt him. 6. A lot of guys think you’re attractive. Total: 1

Confused Girl 1. Your relationship status is complicated. 2. You don’t know what kind of guy you want. 3. You’re not good at making decisions. 4. You’ve thought you were in love but really weren’t. 5. You get confused easily. 6. You are always changing your mind. Total: 2

The Needy Girl 1. You’ve been badly hurt after a breakup. 2. You depend too much on others. 3.You would do anything for a boyfriend if it meant making him happy. 4. Your boyfriend is a huge priority. 5. You can’t stand being away from your boyfriend. 6. You would accept anyone who asked you out. Total: 1

Playgirl 1. You have been in a lot of relationships. 2. You have hooked up with someone just for sex. 3. Most of your relationships weren’t serious. 4. You don’t really care if you break someone’s heart. 5. You are good at getting guys. 6. You are not a virgin. Total: 2

The Future-Seeking Girl 1. You have thought you found “the one” before. 2. You have imagined what you and your boyfriend’s kids will look like. 3. You want to get married. 4. You want kids. 5. You’d like serious long-term relationships. 6. You and a boyfriend have talked about your future together. Total: 3

The Attention-Seeking Girl 1. You love attention. 2. You have faked an illness or made a story up to get someone’s attention. 3.You love receiving gifts more than giving them. 4. You love PDA. 5. You hate it when your boyfriend pays more attention to someone else rather than you. 6. You would date someone even if you didn’t like them. Total: 1

The Dominator 1. You hate it when you don’t get your way. 2. You wear the pants in your relationship. 3. Your boyfriend would do anything for you. 4. You are spoiled or someone has called you spoiled. 5. You love to be in control of things. 6.You are usually the one to plan the things you and your boyfriend do. Total: 3

You are: Shy girl and The Girl with Low Self-esteem

The computer [] I spend hours at a time on the computer. [] Without the computer, life would not be the same. [] I depend so much on my computer, if it broke down, I would cry. [] I have sooooo many pictures, files, games and other things saved on my computer. [] I have my own computer, and it is in my room. [] I buy stuff online frequently. [] When I have homework or other responsibilities, I tend to go on the computer instead. [] I have been late to something because I couldn’t get off the damn computer. [] My parents always say that they’re ‘going to take away my internet’ because they know that would be the ultimate punishment. Total: 7

Online chat/phone [] I have spent more than 6 hours talking on the phone. [] My phone is practically attached to my ear. [] I have gone to sleep extremely late because I was up talking on the phone. [] My cellphone bill is too high. [] If my MSN/AIM/Yahoo, etc. won’t allow me to sign in, I go crazy. [] I have over 200 online buddies. [] I met good friends, or even my best friend, online. [] I meet people in person that I met on the internet, complete strangers. [] I spend more time in chatrooms than I do with my own family/friends. [] I’d rather chat online than by phone, e-mail, or in person. Total: 5

Magazines/books [] I am ALWAYS reading something. [] I have 100+ magazines. [] I buy more than 3 magazines every month. [] I am subscribed to more than 3 magazines. [] I am soon gonna run out of space to put all my magazines! [] When my mom threatens that she’s gonna thrown out my magazines, I yell and tell her that I’m keeping them forever! [] Reading is way more fun than TV, computer, music, etc. [] Books are my life. I even wanna write a book. [] I spend more money on books/magazines than I do on clothes every month. Total: 0

Music [] Without music, my life would be miserable. [] It seems that I’m always humming or singing something. [] I like every type of music. [] My mp3 player/iPod has over 1000 songs. [] Not to mention the huge amount of songs I have on my computer. [] I have 200+ CD’s. [] Music cheers me up, makes me happy, relieves my stress..kinda like a best friend. [] Whatever mood I’m in, I can always listen to some music. [] I am/want to be in a band. [] I lost count of how many concerts I’ve been to. Total: 3

Movies [] I see at least 4 movies in theatres per month. [] I have so many DVDs, I don’t know where all of them are! [] I have a DVD player in my room, that I use often. [] I buy every movie that I really like. [] I keep all my movie stubs. [] I am always quoting things from movies. [] I can list 20 of my favourite movies right now. [] I watch the Oscars religiously. [] Movies are better than TV shows and music put together. [] I have over 5 favourite actors and over 5 favourite actresses. Total: 0

Make-up, hair & other girly things [] I straighten/curl/crimp my hair every day. [] I don’t remember how my own natural hair colour looks unless I look at old pictures. [] I have so much make-up, I don’t even use half of it. [] I have more than 5 eyeliners, 5 eyeshadow palettes and 5 lip glosses. [] I wear bows, hairbands, ribbons, etc. in my hair. [] I get my hair cut more than once every 3 months. [] I LOVE pink, anything pink is good! [] Flowers are awesome, as well as chocolate, jewelry and designer clothes. [] Accessories are actually more important to me than my clothes! [] I have more than 5 purses. Total: 5

Television [] I watch at least 5 shows per day. [] I spend more than 5 hours watching TV every day. [] I am addicted to some shows. [] If I miss an episode of my favourite show, I’ll freak out. [] I watch TV before I go to sleep. [] My alarm clock is my TV. [] I have seen every MTV show at least once. [] I have more than 500 channels on my TV. [] I use picture-in-picture. [] During commercials, I flip to other channels to watch something else. Total: 2

Sports [] I watch sports every day. [] I have been on a sports team more than 5 times. [] I play sports any chance I get. [] I am very athletic and fit. [] I work out all the time. [] I also walk, run, bike, or swim on a regular basis (as a way of exercising). [] I have a favourite basketball, soccer, baseball, etc. player as well as favourite teams. [] I like to be outside waaayy more than staying inside. [] I don’t mind getting sweaty or breaking a nail. [] No, I’m not girly. Total: 1

Food [] I am in love with chocolate. [] I will eat anything once. [] I always eat when I’m bored, stressed, watching TV, etc. [] I don’t care about my weight, all I wanna do is eat! [] I have tried Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Indian, as well as other kind of dishes. [] I don’t have many foods that I dislike. [] I like going to parties or other gatherings for the food! [] My friends say I’m a pig when it comes to food. [] I cannot go to the mall without eating something at the food court. [] Snacking is my favourite pastime. Total: 6

Going out/friends [] I go to tons of parties every year. [] I have more friends than I can count. [] If someone invites me to go somewhere, I don’t care what mood I’m in, I’m going! [] Movie theatres, amusement parks and malls are among my favourite places. [] I hate staying in, I’d rather be out 24/7. [] The computer is cool, but partying is so much better! [] My friends and I do crazyyy things! [] I cannot pay attention in class because I’m always chatting with friends or thinking about what I’m gonna do that night. [] Work? Who has time for a job when you can hang out with your friends instead! Total: 2

Shopping/clothes [] I go shopping at least twice a week. [] I don’t care how many shoes or accessories I have, I always need more! [] There’s always more room in my closet for more clothes. [] I follow fashion/trends. [] I have 10 or more pairs of jeans. [] I have 30+ shoes. [] The mall = best place ever! [] I spend money like nothing else. [] I can’t just ‘hang’ at the mall, I have to buy something! [] I want a job at my favourite store so I can get discounts and go shopping after work! Total: 2

Bad things [] I steal/shoplift frequently. [] I smoke cigarettes every day. [] I smoke something other than cigarettes regularly. [] I have gone to school/work high or drunk. [] I get drunk when I’m with friends and then do stupid things. [] I have done sexual things under the influence. [] I curse ALL the time. [] I fight with people constantly. [] I have been arrested. [] I am banned from 2 or more places.

Total: 1

My addiction is: Music, then Magazines/Books and Shopping/Clothes. True that :P

1 note · View note

waywardfacegarden · 4 years

Note

I’m actually having a tiring weekend due to projects and some bad news ;-; did anything nice happen to you today (or something you’re looking forward to) that you’d like to talk about? That’d cheer me up <3

I’M SO SORRY I’M REPLYING JUST NOW, I SAW IT LIKE AN HOUR AGO WHEN I WOKE UP (i think our time zones are pretty different but i’m not sure...) BUT I’M GUESSING YOU SENT THIS YESTERDAY?????? Aaah, I was already asleep!!😭😭 I’m so sorry!!!

That said, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a tiring weekend?? Nooo, you absolutely DON’T deserve that😔😔😫 Please take it easy. Projects and college is important, yes, but you ALWAYS go first. Your mental and emotional health should be top priority for you. Do your best, of course, but only until you can without actually overworking yourself. Pretty please. (Also, ah, I’m deeply sorry about those bad news! I hope the situation or whatever happened can get better... If there’s anything I can do to help you out, please don’t hesitate to tell me!!!)

About something nice happening to me! Well, I could sleep a long nap this last friday which was so nice asdladjljd. And my dad cooked me a hamburger a few days ago which might sound silly but you have to know that 1) my dad’s cooking is. Hella good, 2) I LOVE HAMBURGERS NASDKJALSDA and 3) food, sleep/naps, anime/manga, writing are my favorite things in the whole world askdjladj so. ALSO, the fact that I’m finally, FINALLY feeling inspired again and like words are working for me??? Ahh, it’s such a nice, free feeling, I love it!!!! Writer’s block sucks and it’s not new for me, I get through that a LOT, but this one was particularly hard and frustrating for me, so I’m glad I could finally get out of it!!! (I’m still going to take it easy from here and probably don’t post super soon, but I’m. At least I’m writing again, yk? Which is amazing and makes me so deeply happy!!!) -- ALSO, ALL THE LOVE MY LAST FIC KEEPS GETTING???? I swear I was so insecure about it because I thought it was so OOC and embarrassingly self-indulgent and that my writing wasn’t that good bc I didn’t write in months, but I keep getting comments saying they fell in love with my writing and that the fic made their days better, or people commenting on my other fics BECAUSE they read the last one and the enjoyed so much that they??? Actively looked out for my other works????? It’s so insanely flattering, and all the praise and love I keep getting from people has had me smiling all weekend and practically crying (I did. I did tear up a lot. And cry) of happiness, even when I’m doing hw and projects HAHAHA. And the fact that my fic could make someone’s day better??? Even a little bit?? Made them smile??? I LOVE that. Life is so hard sometimes, so if I can make someone’s day at least a tiny bit better with my writing, than that makes me so insanely happy. It’s such a nice feeling, you know?? That you know you could put a smile on someone else face :’’) So that’s it... I guess it’s not something that big, but I’ve been happy all weekend because of the kind words of people :’)

OH!!!! ALSO!!! I watched a few trailers of anime that are coming on January 2021 AND ASDJKJDLASKJDLASJD OHMYGOD. I’M SO EXCITED, I’M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THEM. 2021 IS GOING TO BE GOOD ASKDALD. I HOPE HAHA. Anime seriously makes my life better... Hahaha, idk, it’s silly but yeah. (AND MY BIRTHDAY IS CLOSEEEEEEER. Which is nice for some reason askdjlasd. ALSO YESTERDAY WAS NARUTO’S BIRTHDAY SO. TREASURE AND IMPORTANT HOLIDAY ASDKALD).

(Sorry this whole ask is just me being a complete dork and nerd and dumbass LOL, I hope my dumbassery could at least?? Make you smile a bit?? Or make you feel better?? I’m really so sorry you’re having a tiring weekend, sweetheart😔😔 I do hope from the bottom of my heart that eveything gets better🥺🥺. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PRETTY PLEASE.)

#asks #i'm so sorry to hear that hon...#i hope your week gets better!#please have some rest you deserve it #and if there's anything i can do please let me know #i love you and i'm sending you all my best wishes and vibes #and lots of hugs and love!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO ANON #PLEASE PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO SOUND RUDE BUT WHEN YOU AHVE TIME CAN YOU TELL ME IF YOU READ THIS ASK??? ;--;#HAVE*#i want to know if you did... bc i didn't reply right away...#tyvm...#and sorry!!

0 notes

mild-lunacy · 7 years

Text

Angst and the Repetitive Narrative Syndrome

In retrospect, I think the real problem in that post on the issues with unrelenting angst in various shows is that many showrunners don't pace the plot properly, so it ends up looking haphazard rather than structured as an arc. More open-endedly, as @ivyblossom put it about Eurus in Series 4, it was 'limited planning'. In other words, when there aren't cohesive or diverse enough ideas, the writers may reach for the same tired solutions for generating drama on the cheap. Quite aside from an overarching plot arc (ie, even in episodic shows), what works once won't work so well the tenth or twentieth time. There's also definitely something to the idea that too many top TV writers (and Mofftiss in particular) are lazy and self-satisfied, or conservative with their ideas in the sense of their ideas growing stale once they find a formula that works. Essentially, in @plaidadder's opinion, the issue with many male TV showrunners is their self-indulgence, the tendency to repeatedly go for the wish-fulfillment as a priority over what the characters need. Obviously, the real problem most fans have with these male showrunners is that their 'insane wish-fulfillment' and the attendant character or genre-based expectations differ greatly from their younger, more female-skewed audiences. I mean, I think some of the fluffy situations fandom would most enjoy or prefer would never even occur to them.

I think the *underlying* reasons for this divergence are partly to do with social differences and partly structural. In other words, it's partly due to the way open-ended or incomplete series are differently made and produced (often haphazardly, with an eye to ratings and/or a certain kind of fan, rather than any interest in angst the way fanfic writers may 'love angst'). This structural difference in approach is pretty blatant when you compare genre shows with a series of separate but interconnected arcs (Buffy, Supernatural, Sherlock) to the rather more rare, shorter stories that have a unified, interwoven arc.

It's not that many fans don't get worn out by their favorite characters undergoing too much suffering; that definitely happens. But I think that's not what really disappointed most viewers in these shows overall. Basically, I think that the real problem isn't the constant, unbroken angst: that's more of a symptom. The cause is the lack of a continuous arc in most action dramas on TV. Creating a source for and then resolving the new source of angst acts like a shortcut to creating a short-term arc as well as infusing emotional meaning, because the alternative is creating a long-form plot that may not be conducive to the way multiple season-long series are run, particularly on TV.

In blaming angst fests for their dissatisfaction with the direction of many shows, two issues were being conflated: people's personal responses or preferences about angst in fandom, and the concerns and priorities in writing as a craft. That's not unusual; people often conflate preferences and narrative analysis. I'm just saying they're two separate things. In fandom, most people seem to expect and insist on relief or a happy ending for their favorites, also known as 'pay off' (sometimes taken deeper, often just on the level of fan-service). There's certainly a high tolerance and interest in psychological and 'domestic' reinterpretations of dramatic, actiony shows in fic. There's also a tendency to assume that this character-focused aspect of fanfic is somehow naturally superior or more interesting than the original plot-related focus in the original stories. I'm not here to argue against this; I'm just saying this is a very strong assumption or axiom in fandom discussions that leads to conflating good writing with fanfic-style writing. That much I do argue is simply demonstrably incorrect and unnecessary.

I certainly agree in that an endless procession of angsty plot-twists is wearying, even though I'm interested in both genre plot and twists much more than 90% of fandom seems to be. That's probably not atypical for casual viewers, which are the type of the audience that genre shows are directed at. I say this even though I'm a *heavily* character-centric writer and viewer. I just like things to *happen* to the characters I like, and I like those to be unusual or unexpected things rather than only stuff like lunch, sex, work, and meetings with one's parents or something. Not that I'm against any of that normal stuff. I just saying I'm a genre fiction fan for a reason.

Anyway, my point is that there no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Further, I think the usage of 'angst' isn't usually for its own sake in most genre shows. I think it's just that if dramatic, unexpected things keep happening (and as said, that is what you'd expect in a genre narrative), any sort of believable character would react by suffering or feeling emotional stress, because exciting and surprising drama is generally stressful and worrying. The alternative-- the characters being shown having a happy breakfast together *while* they're dealing with extreme danger of some kind-- is a lack of meaning for the characters. The problem is essentially pacing, as I said. I was just thinking about this in reading a fic that was really good and felt 'real' while the relationship growth coincided with a plot mini-arc that had a beginning, middle and end. As soon as that arc and relationship both resolved at the same time, the story essentially went into a holding pattern, exploring consequences and complications to the relationship as well as the plot. And those *were* important to address. It's just that having the characters face relationship angst and problems right after successfully saving each other and getting together after severe struggles-- while 'realistic'-- felt like a letdown. It's not that I wanted the fic to become *fluff*, or even that I felt it needed to have a fluffy interlude. I just wanted to sustain that dynamic intersection of relationship growth and linear plot development. Once that's lost, the story just felt... limp.

Basically, it's not about fluff vs angst: it's about pacing the action well and giving a long-running story an overarching structure. Many shows on TV (including Supernatural, Sherlock, and even Game of Thrones, in various ways and for various reasons) fail to execute a full, consistently paced plot arc. In such an arc, its action needs to rise and fall naturally, ideally in accordance to the characters' growth, rather than sporadically devolve or gain sudden speed due to implausible plot devices and deus ex machina twists. That's all right now and again-- like the villain being a perfect mirror for the protagonist's unique skill set, or cliffhangers being averted due to an unpredictable technicality, like on Sherlock-- but overused, it weakens the story significantly. When you have this weakness in planning, writers often fall back on obscuring the edges with the natural rise and fall of internal character drama, or angst. I've seen this in fics, too. The trope is just a bit different: when in doubt on what to do next, put the relationship in peril. After all, it really *can* always happen, and we will always find it believable on some level. It's just this is a surface continuity, and comes at the cost of the story feeling real as opposed to artificial after a while. This is what using classic 3 or 5-act structure avoids, although ironically, it's the open-ended repetition that's arguably more genuinely 'realistic'. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#fanfic meta #narrative #sherlock feels #reader response #writing

12 notes · View notes

surveyhoursss · 4 years

Text

Zodiac Bingo

I am most like a: Libra

I am actually a: Taurus

0 notes

dumbkombuchakid · 4 years

Text

I have honestly so so so much to do and this is absolutely not one of the things even close to near the top of the list. It is on the list though - writing I mean.

I’m wondering if anyone else has moments or like days or even spreads of days (I mean two or three generally for me) during which you juts indulge in all your self destructive or sabotaging behaviors? And it’s like this insane serotonin rush? Like it feels so good even though you KNOW you’ll regret it and it’ll feel bad later?

I had two of these days, yesterday and today, and so tomorrow is of course day one of being back on my normal routine and ‘better behavior’ (meaning conducive to my long term goals that I know makes me happy). I need to find a way to fill the days. I don’t just mean pass the time; the time will pass on its own no matter what, I just really desperately need to be engaged for larger periods of time during the day. I need the days to move by quicker.

I think I need to start a big project, my current plan is to open an etsy shop. Big surprise, I know. Dumb kombucha girl’s an artist. I’m starting by making some cute thank you note cards and a friend of mine gave me another idea too - just will need to get some more materials for that one. Stay tuned.

I don’t think anyone’s going to read this, but if you do... share some ideas for things you’d like to see handmade or painted and I might try to make those dreams come true.

I mentioned having a long to-do list. I think I do; I haven’t taken the time to sit down and write one out (it’s on my to-do list to do so) but now I’m sitting and writing so I’ll include you on it.

In no particular order, but numbered for the sake of quantification...

1. laundry. please for the love of all things good wash your sheets and your clothes. You really should not sleep on an unmade (fully naked) bed again and your clothes from florida probably smell because you just left them all in your duffle bag mashed together like a dry rice noodle soup that no one wants to eat.

2. call that lady about tutoring her kids!! You’d be good at it and need the money but that job does not exist unless you go after it.

3. finish packing up and ship back the clothes you ordered that you want to return. I bet it would literally take you 15 minutes tops to pack up the clothes and going to the post office is an excuse to leave your house. you need that.

4. take [ your friend’s ] phone charger and money to her and get your house key back (this should probably be held as a priority)

5. finish up first batch of cards and make a listing for them on etsy

there’s absolutely more I’m sure, starting just with cleaning my room because it’s disgusting, but I’m getting tired. I may write out some rules for what I’m allowed to eat going forward (need a new diet again lmfao) but I think I’ll do that on paper in private. Time to watch mindhunter until I fall asleep.

Thanks for reading, love u <3

0 notes

sarahburness · 5 years

Text

5 Things to Stop Doing When You’re Struggling and Feeling Drained

Recently I’ve been spread incredibly thin and, at times, I’ve felt stressed to the max.

In addition to being at the tail end of a high-risk pregnancy, with complications, I’ve been working toward various new projects—not just for fulfillment but also because I’ve allowed the business side of running this site to slide for years. And I have a baby coming soon. It’s crucial that I revive what I’ve allowed to deflate because I’ll have a whole new life to provide for.

There’s a lot I need to do over the next six weeks, before my scheduled C-section, and a lot I’ve failed to do over the previous weeks, largely because I’ve had many days when I’ve felt physically and emotionally incapable of rising to the challenge.

To be fair, there’s also been a lot to enjoy and appreciate, and I know I am incredibly fortunate to be pregnant at all, and to have the opportunity to do so much professionally. But life has felt somewhat pressure-filled as of late, and along with many small wins have come many hours and days when I’ve felt drained and defeated.

I recently realized that my best days all have certain things in common—little things I choose to do for my well-being, and a number of unhelpful habits I resist the urge to indulge. If you’re also struggling, personally or professionally, and feeling drained, perhaps my lessons will be helpful to you too.

5 Things to Stop Doing When You’re Struggling and Feeling Drained

1. Stop comparing your struggle to anyone else’s.

Over a year ago an old friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. She’s the same age as I am, and she’s someone I’ve long admired, even though we’ve fallen out of touch beyond occasional interactions on social media.

She’s left unfulfilling jobs, despite the financial risk involved; walked away from relationships that weren’t right for her, even while engaged, when it would have been easier to stay; and jumped out of more than 100 planes, each leap representative of the courage that guides her every inspiring, bold life choice.

She’s faced cancer with the type of bravery I’ve come to expect from her, coupled with an honesty and vulnerability about her fears that, to me, displays even more strength. But still, I know it’s been grueling.

As I sit here in my own very fortunate circumstances—at the same as age as her—I often tell myself I have no reason to be struggling. My current experience couldn’t even be termed a struggle compared to what she’s been through. I should just suck it up when I’m having a hard day and push myself through any tiredness or discomfort. Because I’m lucky.

But the reality is, I still have hard days. I am still going through a high-risk pregnancy, juggling a lot, and dealing with a host of fears and physical symptoms that require my compassion.

I wouldn’t compare my hard days to her devastating year—there’s clearly no comparison—but the point is, I don’t have to.

I’m allowed to experience the feelings and struggles associated with my current life circumstances even if someone else’s are far more tragic. And so are you.

Many may have it “worse,” but why compare and judge? If it helps alleviate self-pity so you can find the perspective and strength you need to keep going, then by all means make comparisons. But if it only serves to minimize your feelings and needs, try to remember that two people can have completely different situations, and both can need and deserve compassion equally.

2. Stop focusing on things that aren’t priorities.

When we’re going through a tough time, we need to get extra-discriminating about what truly matters and what doesn’t. If we exhaust ourselves with the non-essential, we’ll have little energy for the things that can actually move the dial in the areas of our life that most need our attention.

I remember when I had surgery to remove uterine fibroids seven years back. I knew I needed to take it easy or else I’d prolong my healing, but I also felt the overwhelming urge to maintain order in my environment. I’m a control freak. It’s what I do.

I remember there was a pair of shoes next to the door, where shoes didn’t usually go, and not only that; they were askew. The horror!

I was one day out of surgery, my lower stomach stitched together after being sliced across the middle, yet I still felt the need to slowly lower myself so I could put those shoes in the closet—even though it was painful to do so. My mother, who was visiting to help me, pointed out the insanity, and I knew she was right.

I now think of those shoes whenever I am struggling physically or emotionally, and I ask myself, what else really doesn’t need to be immediately done, or do I not actually have to do myself?

Can the dishes wait till the morning? Or can I get someone else to do them? Does every email in my inbox need a response—and immediately? Can I say no to some requests? Can I simplify my daily routine? What do I really need to do for myself—physically, emotionally, and professionally? And what do I just want to do because I think I should, to feel ahead of the curve, or on top of things, or good about how much I’m checking off my to-do list?

Scaling back can feel like failure, especially if you’re Type A, like me, but sometimes we have to prioritize so we can use the limited energy we have wisely. If we don’t, we risk busting open our “stitches,” whether that means physical burnout or an emotional breakdown, and then we set ourselves back even further.

3. Stop expecting yourself to do what you could do before.

Maybe you were far more physically active or productive before (I know I was). Or you were the person anyone could call any time, any day, whenever they needed an ear or a hand. Or you were everyone’s go-to person for a night out when they needed to blow off some steam.

It’s easy to cling to our sense of identity when we feel it slipping away. Not only do we mourn who used to be, fearing this change may be permanent, we worry other people may not like this new version of ourselves—this person who’s far less fun or far more needy.

But the thing is, we’re not who we were before. We’re in a new chapter, facing new circumstances and challenges, and our evolving needs won’t go away just because we ignore or neglect them.

I’m not going to sugar coat this: It just plain sucks when you can’t do the things you once enjoyed. My boyfriend has had multiple knee surgeries and ongoing knee problems, and my heart breaks for him knowing he may never be able to do certain things he loves again, like playing basketball.

But he’s accepted his limitations and found new things to do that check off some of the same boxes. He works out on an elliptical to stay in shape and rehab his knee. He throws himself into fantasy football to scratch his competitive itch. And he sweats it out in the sauna to help blow off some steam.

As for me, I’m not going to yoga classes at the moment because I don’t have the time or energy, and I’m also not getting as much done as I once did on a daily basis. But I count my lucky stars that I’ll someday be able to do these things again, even if not for a while after the baby comes.

It’s natural to grieve losses, temporary or permanent, big or small, but eventually we need to accept reality and then ask ourselves, “How can I work with the way things are instead of resisting them?” Otherwise, we cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary stress—and it doesn’t help or change anything.

4. Stop pushing yourself when you need to take it easy.

We all do it, or at least I suspect we do: We minimize our physical and emotional needs because we judge ourselves for having them. We think we should be able to do more. Maybe because other people in similar situations are doing more. Or because we just plain expect a lot from ourselves.

But the thing is, telling yourself you shouldn’t be exhausted doesn’t make you better able to function through your tiredness. Demeaning yourself for needing a break doesn’t make you any more productive or effective. And belittling yourself for feeling whatever you feel doesn’t immediately transform your emotions.

If you’re tired, you need rest. If you’re drained, you need a break. If you’re hurting, you need your own compassion. And nothing will change for the better until you give yourself what you need.

I get that we can’t always instantly drop everything to take good care of ourselves, especially when other people are depending on us. But we can usually create small pockets of time for self-care by alleviating our self-imposed pressure and prioritizing our needs.

Recently I’ve been embracing the idea of mini-self-care practices. It’s not easy for me, because I have a tendency to be very all-or-nothing. But sometimes, small things can make a big difference.

I might not have time for an hour nap, but I can rest my eyes for fifteen minutes. I might not be able to clock in 10,000 steps, but I can take a walk around the block. I may not have the time to journal about my feelings for an hour, but I can jot down three worries and three potential solutions to help calm my mind.

And sometimes, I just need to find a way to do more for my own well-being, whether that means cancelling a commitment or asking someone for help.

It’s tempting to push ourselves, especially if this has been our pattern. But some days aren’t for moving forward. They’re just for honoring where we are.

5. Stop reminding yourself of how you’re “falling behind.”

I think it all boils down to this. When we minimize our struggle, try to do too much, and push ourselves despite our desperate need for self-care, it’s generally because we’re afraid we’re somehow falling behind.

We think about everything we want to accomplish, everything we believe we need to do in order to become who we think we should be, and we panic at the thought of losing momentum.

Most of us are accustomed to living life like a race to some point in the future when we imagine we’ll be good enough—and our lives will be good enough. Any threat to our sense of progress can feel like a threat to our self-esteem and hope.

We also live in this constant bubble of comparison, as if we need to keep up with everyone else in order to make the most of our lives.

But none of this is true. While we may want growth and change, we don’t need it in order to be worthy or happy, and certainly not on a pre-determined timeline. We also don’t need to keep up with anyone else because we’re never behind; we’re simply on our own path.

What’s more, wherever we are right now, this is a valid piece of our life experience, and perhaps even a valuable part. We don’t need to rush through it to catch up to everyone else or to where we thought we’d be.

Most people would agree that some of their most immense growth came from their greatest challenges, and in some cases, even their sense of purpose.

I would never have guessed, during the ten-plus years I struggled with depression and bulimia, that that period of my life would be the catalyst for this site.

I could never have imagined how profoundly my pain would shape the trajectory of my life, and how this chapter would lead to new chapters that were equally as exciting and fulfilling.

Wherever you are right now, be there fully. Accept it. Open up to it. It’s only when we accept the lows that we’re able to grow through them and rise to the highs.

—

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was tired. I hurt. I did little, got down on myself, and cried. But today was better. Today I was kind to myself, I did what I could, and I gave myself what I needed.

Whatever you’re going through, I wish the same for you: self-compassion to help alleviate your pain, permission to do only what you reasonably can, and space to take good care of yourself.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and other books and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. An avid film lover, she recently finished writing her first feature screenplay and is fundraising to get it made now. To get daily wisdom in your inbox, join the Tiny Buddha list here.

Web | Twitter | Facebook | More Posts

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post 5 Things to Stop Doing When You’re Struggling and Feeling Drained appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-things-to-stop-doing-when-youre-struggling-and-feeling-drained/

0 notes