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#and arguably more depressed
doebt · 2 years
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Tbh i wish i could allow myself to become obsessed with anything but i like cant do that anymore it actually makes me feel awful. its like way too much instant gratification and dopamine it doesnt feel fulfilling to me it just feels kind of like gross and bad... Like do u know what i mean. I shouldve been born catholic or something
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saphushia · 1 year
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DEUCE TRIED TO BEAT ACE WITH A LARGE STICK WHEN THEY MET????????????????
oh my god i get to tell you this i'm so happy. this is going to get long because i just. adore how fucking cringefail deuce is at the start of the novel. the manga is great but it's so important to me how badly this man can fuck up within 10 minutes of meeting a stranger. his ass does NOT know how to keep his foot out of his mouth
going behind a read more bc long and spoiler filled (specifically heavy spoilers (essentially an abridged play-by-play of the first chapter) for Ace's Story book 1 and a little bit of the first chapter of the Episode A manga adaption)
if you don't want spoilers but are curious uhhhh basically deuce got a lil hangry ^-^ thats all ^-^
so, in the manga adaption, deuce pretty immediately warms up to ace, yeah?
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yeah. deuce is pretty fuckin easy in the manga. meanwhile, in the novel, when ace immediately asks for help...
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(if it's unclear, all first person is referring to deuce, the book is written from his POV)
in fact, deuce manages to fail basically every speech check in the first conversation they have together. i'm not kidding look at how fucking bad he is at this.
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my man falls ass first into a rant to a guy he just met and manages to find himself saying 'wow why don't you go cry to your mom and leave me alone to be depressed' to a man who's mom literally died in childbirth. less than 5 minutes after meeting the guy. and the best part? HE KEEPS GOING.
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he's gotta stop there, right? surely? surely even a man who's been stranded on an island alone for 3 days can tell when he's got his foot so wedged in his mouth he's practically deepthroating it? NOPE!
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at this point, you'd think there's literally nothing worse that he can say. you would be so, so wrong.
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MY MAN. MY GUY. i want to hammer in the fact that deuce managed to fuck up a conversation this badly with a man he's literally never met within like, 15 minutes at most. deuce then proceeds to recover from this utter failure at conversation by just. walking away into the woods and proceeding to continue slowly starving to death for several days whilst avoiding ace. he also eats ants on at least one occasion. this isn't really relevant to the hitting ace with a stick thing but it's important to me that you know that. he also despite all of this has this gayass moment
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again, not relevant, but important to me that you know he saw ace failing to sail on the worst raft you've ever seen and still called him 'dashing'. now, at this point, deuce has been without food and with only minimal water for days- probably close to a week, though it's a bit ambiguous. and my guy, brilliantly, thinks to himself 'well. ace doesn't look like he's starving to death. what if he has food?' and sneaks behind ace, following him until he sees ace with a huge fruit (the mera mera no mi).
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all of this... deuce sneaking up on ace planning to fight him for the fruit, kill him if he needs to, because he's the son of roger... and you know what ace fucking does??? you wanna know what this giant depressed puppy of a man fucking says to a guy who was abt to bash his brains out??
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"nice stick!" and deuce just fucking. starts sobbing on the spot out of guilt while they argue both trying to get the other to eat the fruit. they are. so stupid and i love them so much.
so yeah. deuce's first ever interaction with ace is loudly announcing that he'd want to kill himself if he was the son of roger, and his SECOND interaction is him attempting to kill ace with a stick because he's hangry. i love him so much he's so fucking shit.
tldr you're not you when you're hungry and also you should all read the ace novels. because of this and also because ace and deuce get cockblocked on a gay ferris wheel ride by a marine just deciding to jump in the gondola with them and sit there menacingly until ace breaks the door and just jumps out to escape her monologuing abt her traumatic backstory
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void-tiger · 1 year
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The concept of prophetic visions and dreams in The Sandman universe is objectively hilarious when you realize it automatically involves Destiny, Dream, and Delirium, and Destiny being absolutely fed up with his younger siblings messing with his domain.
…which is probably why there are far more records of prophetic visions than prophetic dreams but the symbolism in visions is…incredibly trippy and often unsettling. But the earliest stories of either leans more in favor of prophetic dreams.
Dream doesn’t mess with his siblings domains lightly, and either asks permission, first, or has Lucienne keep a record of the tab owed to Destiny over this.
Delirium, however…
Yeah…she’s just that youngest sibling who messes with your stuff and as infuriated as you are with her it’s often as productive as shouting at a baby because she WILL cry and rip her hair out and never grasp why her actions upset you.
(so Dream gets the brunt of Destiny’s Ire. even when Desire Did It.)
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speedlimit15 · 6 months
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i keep thinking i’m depressed bc im in my room so much but it’s honest to god mostly bc my interest in my hobbies came back after literal years of not enjoying anything and doing nothing literally nothing except watching tv and being on my phone so. who’s to say if i’m actually depressed or if i’m just so anxious about everything on earth and would rather quietly do stuff that makes me happy in the safety of my room
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saturnniidae · 7 months
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Jlaire (or just Claire as a character, tbh) wouldn't be any be anywhere near as popular as it is if Claire was chubby like she is in the book.
Anyways, I love both book and show Claire with my entire heart, but I'm still kinda salty with how much they slimmed her down in the show
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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Thinking about how we didn't get one scene of Mike in his basement in s4, though we got almost everyone else in the party down there (Lucas, Max, Dustin, Steve, Robin, Nancy).
At the start of s4, we got Mike in his room and in the kitchen getting pop-tarts out of the pantry (near the phone on the main floor), but nothing of him in his 'sanctuary'.
Considering Mike and Will and that damn basement metaphor, it makes me wonder if that was entirely intentional.
Because although there is a phone in the kitchen, I highly doubt that's where Mike made all his calls to Will since the Byers moved, most of which went unanswered. That's very likely the kind of thing he would do in the basement...
Makes you think they're saving Mike in his basement again for the last season, bc what we'll see is something that'll definitely shock the average viewer... something the Duffers had to wait until the end to reveal.
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coockie8 · 25 days
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how do u feel about valentinos wings being his coat??
The same way I feel about Vaggie being an Angel; I saw it coming and it's mid at fucking best.
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arctic-hands · 9 months
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Related to my tags on the Irish American reblog, how long have bastardized "Celtic" crosses been neo-Nazi symbols? I wasn't aware of this stupid use until I was an adult and my father was equally unaware until I learned about it, and in our Celtic (American) Pride we often used Celtic cross imagery in decor and accessories. Granted these usually did resemble actually woven/knotted crosses (which by no means meant they were authentic. At best a few came from local Celtic Pride fests–which as I said in those tags was plagued by Confederate and Nazi imagery), but most of them came from like JoAnn's or Michael's or Walmart whenever Saint Paddy's Day rolled around. That said, the woven pattern of a Celtic cross is a bitch to draw especially when you have yet to nurture or be nurtured in any art skills, so when my borderline-Gothic ass would doodle graveyards in my school notebooks I would often doodle simplified Celtic crosses as grave markers, which unfortunately just meant a simple cross with a simple circle in it, unfortunately reminiscent of the neo-Nazi symbol.
Me and my family were staunchly Indiana liberals (to be fair that wasn't that shocking in our democrat enclave city) and have only become more leftist as time goes on, so those who knew me well would know I didn't mean anything by it, but like I have to wonder/worry that those who didn't know me well (like most of my classmates. I was pretty lonely in high school) or people who would briefly visit my home or come across us while we were wearing Celtic pins that day or something came away with the wrong impression. I'm especially dismayed at the thought that the kids I knew to be actual neo-Nazis might thought I was one of them
For the record I left school in like twenty eleven and had been doodling graveyards for years and wearing Celtic imagery for even longer. I can't really find out when the "Celtic" cross became a dogwhistle
#Celtic cross#Celtic Pride#tbh when going to those fairs it was under the pretense of being (mostly) Scottish#it was all a farce my dad leaned into because he was adopted by a Scots-Appalachian man with a Scottish name going back to an actual clan#BUT i was never supposed to know he wasn't my biological grandfather (even tho it was pretty damned obvious)#so my dad played heavily on Scottish pride#that said we had Irish ancestry from other branches of the family so we indulged in Irish pride and imagery too#plus we just felt the knotted crosses were pretty and cool looking#anyway i/my dad did end up having more Irish genetics than Scottish pending our DNA tests#the Scottish is there but the Irish is more. especially in me because my bio maternal grandfather was also Irish Appalachian#(i have some Ulster Scots too but less so. which is more surprising because it's more common for 'Irish' Appalachians to be Ulster instead)#somewhat-Gothic because i usually aligned with goths in personality and depression but rarely wore black#i usually wore boys graphic tees with stupid sayings and memes on them#at least until the obscenely stupid dress code went into affect (search my blog for that if you're interested lol it's a saga)#i was lumped in with the goths for lack of better placement anyway but arguably i was more boy scene#my high school didn't really have cliques or anything strictly categorical so like goths would hang with 'preps' and such anyway#but i did have more commonality with Goths and most of my few friends were#anyway I'm losing the thread#rambling in the tags
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julesnichols · 9 months
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People with major depression saying they wish they got manic episodes so they'd feel better oh my god shut up shut up SHUT UPPPP!!!!!!!
#it's not a fucking contest of who has it worst first of all!! depression sucks no matter if it's its own disorder or a depressive episode#but mania sucks too!!! arguably worse than any depressive episode i've had!!#mania is not quirky it is not a little treat you get in reward for putting up with a depressive episode and not dying#it will wreck your entire life#yeah sure maybe you're more creative and more productive. but at the detriment of everything else#sleeping eating etc etc basic things you need for survival you name it you won't do it#and you won't even feel it till it's really REALLY bad#you'll see things. hear things. smell things that aren't there sometimes#which gets worse the longer you don't sleep or eat#you might have more 'energy' to clean but you'll also probably throw out most of your shit while doing it even if it's perfectly good#you'll be more aggressive and arrogant and think you're more than you are so you're gonna wreck most or all of your relationships#in ways that'll take years to repair. if at all#because of those delusions of grandeur you'll drop out or quit your job or burn those bridges so badly you can't salvage them#and on and on it goes#and these are my personal experiences!!!#other people have others#but mania is Not Cute Not Quirky#it's fucking awful#not to mention that mixed episodes exist#which are also hell#anyways i saw a meme that was the 'you guys are getting _' meme#and it was 'depressed person' and 'you guys are getting manic episodes'#tell me you do not understand bipolar disorder without telling me you do not understand bipolar disorder!!!#so many people replying to it going haha relatable 🤪 like okay#wish you WOULD experience mania so maybe you'd realize how not fun it is#even hypomania fucking sucks#also i blew my entire savings during the worst manic episode#somehow forgot that. but it sure was a thing!!
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dwarvishring · 2 years
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sometimes i feel like my friends don’t really care about me as a friend and only see me as a pair of ears to talk about the stuff they like. like, they don’t really talk to me unless they feel like venting about something they like that i’ve never watched/read and they’ll send text after text talking about it and i’ll try to find stuff to say about this ip i have no knowledge of but then whatever i reply kinda gets ignored and lost in the middle of my friend’s rants. sometimes i feel like it’s not even a ‘you only talk to me so we can talk about this thing you like’ situation because they don’t even care about what i say about the information they drop on me, they just want someone to send their paragraphs to.
and it never feels like any of those friends is ever willing to listen when i wanna talk about something i watch. 
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terminaxshowtime · 2 years
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Suddenly in a mood to talk to everyone and everything due to listening to some Wonderland x Showtime... but I'm SICK... WHAT THE HELL...
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tkachow · 2 years
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the guy i rejected when i was sixteen but always secretly wanted just got a girlfriend
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inbarfink · 1 year
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One common Undertale misconception that really frustrates me is when Sans is portrayed with a strong innate sense for RESETs and alternative timelines. Like, that he remembers the RESET timelines better than the other characters who only have occasional feelings of deja vu or even that he can sense when a timeline is RESET.
And that’s, like, almost the opposite of the actual text of the game. While pretty much every main character can have slightly-different dialogue in a Not-True-RESET, especially if the Player had previously befriended them, based on the idea that they have lingering memories/feelings from before the RESET - 
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Sans has no real dialogue changes based on this conceit. All of his changes are based around noticing Frisk has different reactions based on their memories of the precious timelines. 
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Other characters do also make observations like that about Frisk, like Mettaton and Toriel. But Sans is distinctive because this is the only way his comments change between RESETs and there are a lot of them from him.
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Because that is what really frustrates me about this misconception. People mention it as one more thing that makes Sans cool - but the actual truth is far more badass. Sans is one of the people in the Underground who remembers RESETs the least. I think memory-resistance to RESETs is probably tied to Determination. Flowey, the second-most Determined person in the Underground after Frisk, can remember everything perfectly.
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Everyone else has some vague feelings and deja vus. And Sans, he’s the least motivated person in the Underground - both in the sense he’s lazy and in the sense he’s fucking depressed.
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That probably means he has very little Determination. Thus, he doesn’t remember anything that happens between RESETs.
And yet, he is still the character most aware of them. Because he has the technological know-how to read and analyze timelines.
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And because he has the observation and analytical skill to notice a RESET from other people’s reactions and behavior. Whatever it’s Papyrus thinking he recognizes someone or Frisk’s behavior implying that they know something they shouldn’t have. Sans main RESET-related skill is just being able to identify these moments and come to the correct conclusion about them. And with that he manages to be the most aware character in the entire Underground.
Like, the one point where it might seem like Sans remembers something from a previous Timeline is the Fake Spare scene during his boss battle. 
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But it’s all pretend. Unlike the previous lines from other characters that I mentioned, this dialogue plays even if the Murder Route is the first time the player touched the game. Sans isn’t remembering anything in this scene. But he makes an educated guess that the Immoral Time God probably tried using their powers for good at first, so they were likely ‘friends’ in a previous timeline. And in most cases, his guess is right on the money - tricking many players into thinking this is another case of the game actually reacting to their past actions.
And as always, Sans can only tell if his lil’ trick worked or not based on the expression of the Player Character.
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Arguably, Sans even uses his lack of Determination and cross-RESET memory to his advantage in his boss battle. After all, the whole point of this fight isn’t to kill the Player - Sans understands this is impossible. This is a war of attrition, trying to get the Player so frustrated and annoyed with the unfair fight that they just ragequit or RESET the Timeline. And this war of the Player’s patience versus Sans’ stamina and will is infinitely easier for him when he doesn’t actually perceive all the Player’s previous attempts against him.
Like, for the Player this might be the billion time they go up against him, they’re aware of some of his patterns and tricks now but they’re probably also frustrated and angry and exhausted. Meanwhile, from Sans’ POV, this is still the first time this is happening. He knows it’s not from the Player’s behavior and Frisk’s expression - but he doesn’t feel it like the Player does. 
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He doesn’t feel the frustration and repetition of the endless stalemate. So he’s always as fresh as a daisy no matter how rugged the Player is getting.
And that’s part of why Sans is so cool in the first place, like, in general. He’s technically the weakest person in the Underground, lacking in every standard evaluation of power in the setting - no ATK, no DEF, no HP, no DETERMINATION. But he’s darn clever enough to overcome these weaknesses and even use them in ways that make them into strengths, enough to be one of the most dangerous and most aware guys in this whole setting.
Sans can’t remember anything, and that makes him awesome.
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masterhallmark · 2 months
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Rant incoming
I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.
All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.
Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!
Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.
Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.
We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?
We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?
We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.
Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.
Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.
And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.
Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?
Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.
Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."
Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.
Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.
The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.
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sanchoyo · 1 year
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convinced the universe doesnt want me to finish nano bc on top of getting the flu at the start of the month, my (mysterious dead anime mom) illness flaring up out of nowhere for 2 days straight, and possibly having strep, i woke up today with my shoulder blade/dominant arm on FIRE with pain. out of nowhere! I didnt DO anything! I just SLEPT on it weird! what the hell . well I am Not Quitting Nano No matter What >:(
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thinking about simeon again.. he is so much more complex and tragic and interesting than the sweet innocent uwu angel that some of the fandom portrays him as
simeon writing tsl to cope with the terrible things he’s seen about the future and can’t tell anyone
simeon obeying the celestial realm only out of fear and obligation, not because he has any real faith in what it stands for
simeon, who would do anything for the brothers, but who will never be considered a core member of the family because he was too afraid to rebel with them
simeon, who would sooner blame himself for the brothers’ rebellion than the system they were all trapped in (as if him simply talking to lucifer the day before the war would have eased the resentment that had been building up inside him for a long time before that), who would rather feel guilty than accept the alternative, that there was nothing he could have done to save them
simeon’s initial dislike of diavolo because he still holds onto the hope that things could change, which simeon dismisses as naive, and probably also because he’s a repackaged version of celestial realm leadership: never lies but doesn’t say the whole truth, friendly and arguably well-intentioned but more manipulative and controlling than he wants people to think
simeon purposefully being as indirect of a teacher as possible to luke because he can’t directly badmouth the celestial realm but wants luke to learn to think for himself instead of absorbing an ideology and never questioning it until he realizes too late how much harm it’s done to himself and others
simeon’s quiet defiance of the celestial realm, more of a resignation than a rebellion because he knows firsthand from watching the brothers the futility of trying to fight an entity like that
simeon accepting his punishment so casually since he’s seen it coming for a long time and has grown numb to the anxiety it gives him (and maybe, he thinks, it’s even what’s best for him, because part of him still wants to believe the celestial realm has good intentions)
human simeon trying to convince himself that he’s better off this way, that he’s free from the celestial realm’s control now, but still feeling deep down that this is actually more isolating and a worse punishment than becoming a demon because most of his loved ones live in the devildom, not the human world
human simeon hiding his depression because he doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially luke. simeon hiding his humanity because he’s not ready to see himself differently and doesn’t want other people to perceive him differently either, trying to fake it til he makes it by wearing different clothes but not feeling like himself in them
human simeon silently wishing mc would spend more time with him because this transition is scary—how does mc live like this? why did they seem to just abandon him after he confessed that he was a human? do they really accept him like this or are they just saying that?
i imagine human simeon having a private breakdown over something minor like not being able to open a jar of spaghetti sauce, because if he was already weak as an angel, he’s even more so now. his whole life he was told his sole purpose is to help others, and now he can’t even help himself
simeon knowing the whole time that he was going to lose his wings someday but still not being ready for it when it happened
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