rest
fandom: genshin impact
character: xiao
reader type: gender neutral
summary: to him, hope does not exist, but tonight he does not care. he just wants to rest.
warnings: xiao's mental health and bad perception of self.
notes: a little something i wrote after the new teaser dropped. a self-indulgent thing edited for the blog <3
His feet drag across the wooden floors of the roadside inn that always receives him with no questions asked, the faint sound of his breathing almost echoing in the emptiness of the last hallway of the highest floor, a small area void of any other resident aside from himself.
That is, until he reaches his door, where he can now feel the presence and hear the breathing of another without having to open it.
And maybe, in any other night, he would've felt himself relaxing and his heart fluttering at the knowledge of who awaited for him behind the sturdy door of sandbearer wood. In any other night, maybe he would be feeling sorry he was intruding in what he considered now as that person's private quarters despite being well aware of the fact that that place was his as much as it was that person's.
But tonight, he just wanted to rest.
Whatever little energy he'd gotten from the rice wine pudding given to him by that little girl's grandfather was already dying down, and he needed nothing more than to fall face-first wherever he could.
His heart breaks a little more upon opening the door and inevitably waking up the other resident of the room, who always had some trouble falling asleep.
You.
It's the way you turn back around on the only bed in the room and blearily blink in direction of the door while still snuggling that blue, hand-made stuffed toy resembling one of Sumeru's forest spirits that has his heart breaking.
There really isn't a single moment in his life where he's not a nuisance to others, is there?
"Huh? Xiao...?" You yawned, sitting up on the bed and looking in his direction with droopy, tired eyes. "You good...?"
Xiao closed the door, and let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding in.
"Forgive me. ... I just want to rest."
Xiao was not completely ignorant when it came to reading other people's feelings. For all the things he lacked, empathy was, by some miracle, not one of them.
Yet, with the way your shoulders dropped and your gaze was clouded with a feeling he was reluctant to name, he couldn't give himself an idea of what you were thinking when you heard his words.
There's another yawn coming from your mouth as you nod, laying back down on the bed, stuffed toy tightly clutched to your chest.
"That's alright..."
You stared at each other like that for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity to him.
If only you knew what was going on in his head, what would you say? How would you look at him? What would you think of him?
He has no time to ponder it, because after giving him a nod, you shuffle to the left side of the bed and turn to face the wall, understanding that he didn't want to talk about it.
You had always been like this, understanding and patient. Xiao couldn't quite make up his mind on whether or not this was a good thing when directed to him.
Sluggishly peeling off the more restrictive and stuffy parts of his clothing and lazily pushing off his boots, he stared at the empty space intentionally left for him on the bed.
Resting... yes, that really must be it... that must be the only thing he wants...
At least for tonight, resting is fine. Resting is good.
The covers and blankets are soft to the touch of his scarred hands as he gently tugged them just enough to fit himself under their warm comfort, his head gently resting against the plush pillow right beneath. The gentle fabrics that brush against his body to keep him comfortably warm are just heavy enough to be soothing rather than suffocating.
He can accept this much comfort, just for tonight.
You laid right next to him, he could tell by the sound of your breathing that you were not yet asleep as you should've been.
He stared at your backside for a good minute before looking up at the ceiling, with eyes that were already so used to seeing in the dark that he couldn't tell if the prickling feeling and the beginnings of tears in their corners was his distress, fatigue, or just the natural reaction of his strained gaze.
"...Goodnight, Xiao." Your voice whispers to him.
He breaths in, then lets it out. Slowly, shakily, hesitantly.
With a last glance at you, he turns away, his back facing yours as he, too, curls up beneath the blankets.
"...Goodnight..."
The sound of your name falling from his lips gives him a tiny bit of peace.
It is not enough.
Not tonight.
But that is okay.
Just for tonight, he can rest.
You're right next to him.
He can rest.
Xiao's eyes fluttered closed, and together with you, he drifted off to sleep.
Let the Xiao of tomorrow worry about the pain of tomorrow, tonight, Xiao wants to rest.
fallinfl0wers. 2023.
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