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moodyhaaze · 5 months

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just me ranting about s*lmare again,,, sigh

it’s kind of getting on my nerves seeing people getting mad at others for pointing out s*lmare’s shitty behavior. like, i get that people may not want to see negativity about the games/devs but acting like people aren’t allowed to be negative is a whole different thing.

look. i’m not trying to be seen as the like “ultimate s*lmare hater™︎” or anything (or maybe i am), but i’m just going to compile a quick and nowhere near exhaustive list for everybody so they understand why i and so many other fans are still so mad. because quite frankly i’m sick of people crying on twitter that i’m “just being mean” when what i’m really doing is calling a spade a spade.

for an ENTIRE YEAR before nightbringer was released, devs never told anybody that a new game was coming out. everybody grinded for an ENTIRE YEAR because we were kept under the impression that a new season was coming to OG only to be told “haha we’re going to make you pretty much redo the whole story again (but in the past :O !!!) only after which you’ll get a conclusion for OG :)” [the end of lesson 80 of OG literally said coming soon until AFTER nightflop was announced.]

devs waited until a reddit ama to even tell us that a new game was coming, but only when asked by a fan who’s question subsequently got buried in all the other responses. the only reason anybody else saw it is because it was screenshotted and posted to twitter and in its own post on reddit. no official announcement was made prior. the first official announcement we got was like a week or two before nightflop was released.

they keep pushing out terrible quality events back to back just to milk money from fans even though the vast majority of fans have said they don’t like back to back events because the quality of them are horrendous. most players would rather have fewer events with better writing then to have constant shit ones.

never told us that daily chats were ending in OG. we only knew this was happening because someone sent a ticket to the devs and it was then screenshotted and posted to twitter.

s*lmare has proved time and time again that they only care about whales. they’ve proven this by paywalling a lot of features in Nightbringer. and before anyone drops in with “but they give us more devil points in battles >:(“ shut up. haven’t you noticed the increase in need to spend devil points? whether for character outfits, sprite outfits, level up sales (that they’ve made more frequent by making leveling up easier), ap sales, etc… they’ve only given you more DP so you’ll spend more DP.

they literally shoved an ad down our throats as many times as they could (in NB) by putting it on the HOME. SCREEN. as well as making it one of the first things you see when you boot up the app and in the side news thing. they didn’t do anything about it until fans complains relentlessly for WEEKS.

they took away the 10x free pulls for HDD 4 (which is OG’s birthday NOT Nightflop’s). they have always done the free pulls since the games inception. they did this so that fans are more likely to use they’re own vouchers or pay irl money for the cards they want.

they lowered nightmare drops EVEN LOWER to force players to draw more if they want certain cards (this goes back to putting players in a position to use irl money to buy devil points for nightmare summons if they want certain cards).

wanderers whereabouts and fabsnap are lazy and unnecessary and from what i understand, most people barely fool with it. the models are cheap and horrendous. (i get it’s a mobile game and the graphics are not going to be like PS5 level, but come on.)

they took away birthday events without an announcement. people were saving AP and demon vouchers for their favorite boys’ birthday events only to instead be given ONLY a birthday nightmare with a pity OF 200. they also stopped doing birthday events before asmo’s 2023 bday, leaving him as the only brother without a prince card. never mind the fact that they’ve paywalled birthday items in wanderer’s whereabouts for $3.99 (usd).

they changed some devil grams (in OG) to please a loud minority of players that didn’t like having to kiss the brothers in the devilgrams. in a game about dating and kissing demons. they pandered to a small (but quite loud) minority of players BITCHING that they didn’t want to kiss the brothers. in a game about dating demons.

they’ve infantilized the game and lowered the age rating (to 12+) to make it more accessible to younger audiences which has significantly lowered the quality of the writing. this is a game about demons !! they are not child friendly and they don’t need to be written as such. a game about dating and romancing demons is a kids game now.

i want to express very sincerely that i absolutely adore obey me. i have for the past four years. (you should see my collection of luci merch LOL). it’s the first franchise i have devoted myself to so strongly. i just really hate s*lmare and how they keep getting greedier while offering NOTHING to fans but lukewarm content and constant money pandering. this franchise means a lot to me, and i know that rings true for most of the players, and it hurts to see it going down the drain like this considering it is so special to me. i love this community (except when people are crying over misinterpreting criticisms against s*lmare/devs as personal attacks) and i love what everybody creates. it’s all so so very special to me and it’s important that we all understand this. these games and franchise could be something so very special. it started out so different (in a good way!) than almost all other otomes i’ve played, but now it’s getting left in the dust because a multimillion dollar company is more worried about how to milk an extra $3.99 from their fans than they are making quality content that fans would be WILLING to pay for, instead of locking content behind paywalls.

i wish nightbringer was never a thing. the story they wanted to make could have easily been a 1-2 season arc in OG. but instead we were forced to essentially play the same game over again, just in a different setting and time, and pretty much be told that the time we’ve spent grinding and leveling up our cards and getting through all the battles in OG was wasted. all for a new game that nickels and dimes players while offering shit in return.

solmare was proven that they have no intention of being transparent with fans. that they only want to milk whatever money they can from us. it’s created a lot of distrust and aversion in the community. and believe me, after all this, and even after obey me is run through and isn’t a cash cow for them anymore, i’ll never play another fucking solmare game ever again.

❤︎ it’ll always be ‘one master to rule them all.’

#˗ˏˋ moody talks obey me ˊˎ˗#literally fuck nightbringer #and fuck solmare #obey me #obey me satan #lucifer obey me #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me solmare #obey me fandom #obey me! shall we date?#obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me!#obey me barbatos #obey me belphegor #obey me nightbringer

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bellaxgiornata · 10 months

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All These Years [Part 6: "The White Whale"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4k

a/n: This installment is entirely in Matt's POV! Probably one of the only ones in this series that will be. As I was writing I knew I needed to do a last minute title change to this installment, too, because it went in a different direction. Hopefully what you learn from this installment only makes everything in this series hurt so much more. There are end notes on this, too because I feel like you'll need it. Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift

“This place isn’t so bad,” Foggy mused.

Matt could hear the way Foggy’s head turned, clearly taking in the view of the dive bar around them. It smelled pungently of must and mildew and clearly there had been a good bit of alcohol spilled and left to dry along the floors, but otherwise it was alright here. At least it wasn’t too loud. The classic rock music playing over the speakers wasn’t blaring like the pop music playing in most bars he’d gone to always was. It never failed to give him a headache and make him duck out early.

“Well it’s not that loud, at least,” Matt replied.

Foggy nudged Matt’s arm with his elbow sharply. Matt could hear the pull of Foggy’s muscles drawing his mouth into a smile. He wished he could work himself up into even a sliver of that excitement for tonight.

“Come on,” Foggy pressed. “It’s the first night in a while that we’ve gotten out and have been able to do something that doesn’t involve paperwork. And we’re getting the three amigos back together again! Smile, dammit!”

Matt’s focus dropped towards the table, his hand tightening around the neck of his bottle of beer. He hadn’t had a chance to see you in weeks, and it had been weeks before that, too. Landman and Zack had managed to keep him and Foggy plenty busy since the three of you had graduated a few months back. And he was happy to finally see you again–that is, he would’ve been if it actually was going to be just the three of you tonight. But no, you were bringing a boyfriend . The first one you’d actually ever had since Matt had known you.

And it had made him sick to his stomach thinking about it all day today.

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” was all he could muster in response.

He drew his beer to his lips, taking a long pull. He was hoping to get at least a buzz going before the two of you showed up. He didn’t want to be sober having to listen to the way your body reacted to your boyfriend all night.

The truth of it was, Matt wanted you. And he’d wanted you since he first met you.

No, actually, that wasn’t accurate, either.

Matt had wanted you for an entire semester before he’d ever actually met you in the library. He had first encountered you on campus in the late evening. He’d overheard someone trip on the sidewalk farther up ahead of him, spilling their books and their papers everywhere. They’d quietly cursed to themselves as they knelt down to collect their things. Matt could tell they��d been close to tears, too. He figured they’d been having a bad day already as they quietly fumed to themselves while others just passed them by on the sidewalk, leaving them to pick up their scattered belongings alone.

But then you’d stumbled upon them, stepping off to the side and crouching down to help them pick up the mess without hesitation. You’d sounded sweet and gentle when you’d greeted them, offering them some kind words and a warm smile that Matt thought he could almost feel as he eavesdropped. He’d oddly found himself affected by you, taking a moment to pause on the side of the sidewalk, pretending he was checking a voicemail on his phone as he tuned into your interaction. He had felt like a creep but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

And then he'd been fascinated by you afterwards, your voice and the scent of you plaguing his mind. He'd spent weeks trying to run across you on campus again. He'd lied and told Fog he'd actually bumped into you that night since he was unable to tell him how he'd really stumbled on you. His heightened senses were a secret even to Foggy. But then he and Foggy had often talked about you afterwards–the pair of them had spent all semester referring to you as Matt's White Whale. He'd been relentlessly searching for you around campus whenever he wasn’t busy with his studies or on a date. But then he'd discovered you around the science buildings right before the beginning of winter break. Unfortunately you’d managed to disappear during those few weeks before the next semester started, Matt being unable to pick up on you again.

He'd then spent all of winter break telling Fog how he'd planned to linger around that building when classes resumed, hoping to catch your voice again–or in reality, the scent of your pheromones and the beat of your heart. He was certain he’d recognize both of them. Him and Fog had spent many a night throwing back beers and coming up with many amusing and ridiculous schemes of how Matt might actually have a chance to meet you.

When classes did resume that following semester, Matt had often frequented the science building in his free moments. And even though Matt had still gone out and enjoyed the attention of other women during that time–something that had been quite a thrilling contrast from his life before college, considering he’d come fresh from St. Agnes–he couldn’t seem to shake you from his mind. Many times he caught himself wondering where he could take you on a date, or what your favorite food might be. He desperately wanted to know what subject you studied. He wanted to know your name and how your voice sounded when you finally said his. He wondered what music you liked and what your shampoo would smell like if he ever had the chance to press his nose into your hair.

And then one fateful day when he’d been at the library working on research for a class, he’d caught the scent of you unexpectedly. His mouth had gone dry and his mind had momentarily gone blank in surprise. You were there. In the library. With him.

It had sounded like you were on your phone and making your way towards him. Matt had panicked, unsure in the moment how to actually catch your attention and strike up a conversation. In his haste to make sure his chance hadn’t disappeared on him, he’d abruptly stepped out of the aisle he was in, arms laden with books, and accidentally miscalculated how far away you were. You’d ran right into him and startled him in return, causing him to drop his books on the ground and your toe. He felt awful when he’d heard you shout but then he couldn’t resist the laugh at your strange outburst.

But when you’d actually looked at who you’d run into, Matt had instantly picked up on all the telltale signs of your physical attraction to him. The increase in your pheromones had driven him crazy and his nerves completely disappeared, that confidence he had with every other young woman he’d flirted with on campus quickly taking over.

He thought he’d had you that day. It seemed a sure thing when he’d asked for your number and you’d given it to him. But then he invited you over to his dorm a few days later on Saturday night. He had every intention to take you out on a date and bring you back to an empty dorm room–if he was lucky enough and you’d wanted that. Because God he had certainly been thinking about you in very sinful ways over those few days. His thoughts had been driving him wild and he desperately hoped sex with you would help ease those persistent and nagging desires. If he could just experience it, maybe you wouldn’t be clouding his damn senses and taking up so much space in his thoughts. Though he worried if he got a taste he’d just want more, like you were some sort of drug to him.

But you’d shown up early that night, and Matt hadn’t technically called it a date. He’d asked for you to ‘hang out’, which admittedly was what he always called it. Usually the women he spent time with knew what he meant, but you’d shown up early and Foggy hadn’t left yet. He’d inevitably introduced the pair of you, hoping to segue into you and him leaving–but you and Foggy had instantly hit it off.

You’d both bonded over a Red Hot Chili Peppers song Foggy was playing, apparently it being both of yours’ favorite song by them. And then that turned into a long discussion about music and the bands you’d both seen, which had led to jokes being shared. Your laughter had sounded amazing to Matt’s ears, but he’d sat there on the end of his bed dumbfounded. You and Fog had almost identical interests. You so quickly warmed up to him. And he could read your body’s reaction that night–you were eliciting all of the signs of attraction.

To Foggy.

While Matt was just sitting there on his bed, you were beside Foggy displaying every sign to Matt that you were interested in Foggy . Not him.

It had crushed him. All of those weeks of trying to find you, all of those nights of you plaguing his mind, and you liked Foggy . He hadn't even told Fog you were the White Whale ahead of time, hoping not to jinx things, but in the end things had wound up going awry for Matt anyway.

He’d tried to remain hopeful that he’d gotten it wrong, but then the pair of you began Saturday nights as a weekly thing. Both of you were always texting after that. And you always seemed so eager to come over to see him. Always spending so much time with him. And every time you showed up, you’d be giving off every damn clue that you were attracted to him. It only took a couple of weeks before Matt gave up and went back to what he’d been doing–sleeping around. He couldn’t have you, so he figured he’d have whoever else he could. And when Foggy had asked him about his White Whale again, he’d sadly told him it hadn’t worked out. He’d never mentioned the White Whale again.

Though it was always strange to Matt that you’d never done anything more with Foggy. Anytime Matt hadn’t been around for the Saturday nights the pair of you spent together and he had occasionally popped back in, you often reacted like he’d interrupted something, your body going into overdrive. But you were always studying or hanging out, never anything more.

It didn’t make sense until he’d finally gotten something like an answer out of you that one night he’d upset you at the bar. He’d had a brief moment of hope when he heard your body reacting as you were looking at him, wondering if it was actually him you were reacting to like that first time in the library. He’d somehow hoped in that moment that he’d gotten everything all wrong, that it was him that you somehow liked all this time, and in his haste to say the right thing, he’d said the wrong thing. Especially with that stupid comment about being your wingman. And he’d really upset you to the point that you’d left the bar early near tears. He wanted to chase after you but he had no reason to realistically do so–he wasn’t supposed to be able to know you were crying as you walked back to your dorm, but he did. So when Foggy had spotted Marci, he’d been thrilled to have an excuse to leave, dodging some woman who’d tried to sleep with him before hurrying after you.

But then you’d broke his heart again because you were upset over Fog. He couldn’t deny it after you’d admitted to only being seen as a friend by the person you had feelings for and then breaking down crying on him. Because Matt had been too thoughtless with his words and told you Foggy was chatting with Marci–the girl you both knew he’d been talking about recently. Why else would you have started crying? If you’d had feelings for him he was certain you’d have said something then and there with how he’d been trying to talk you up all night. Telling you any guy would be lucky to take you on a date–which obviously included him.

That night had cemented it for him. You were in love with Foggy. As much as Matt hated seeing how hurt you were sitting in the friend zone with him, he selfishly didn’t want to bring it to Foggy’s attention because he knew it would absolutely kill him to watch Foggy with you . The one he could never get out of his head. He did his best to ignore it as the months and years went by, intentionally trying to ignore whatever your body was doing because it hurt too fucking much to listen to it.

When Elektra had come into his life, she’d certainly been the first one to come close enough to shaking you from his mind. He’d fallen for her fast and hard, especially when she saw every single dark part about him and still never turned him away. She saw him for everything he was–including his heightened senses that neither you nor Fog had any clue about–and she loved him for it. Or, he thought she had. And even she had pointed out how crazy you seemed about Foggy. How you were attached to his hip like a lovesick puppy she’d said. How you always spent all your time with him. Her words only further cemented it in his mind that he would never have you. Not as anything more than his best friend.

That knowledge broke him twice as hard when Elektra left. Because you’d been there for him, encouraging him. Being the absolutely wonderful, beautiful person you were. He didn’t deserve it, either. He’d been an asshole to you when he’d been with Elektra. He was still being an asshole to you when he continued to keep his mouth shut to Fog about your feelings–because he was selfish and never wanted to see you with him. Instead he’d eventually gone back to burying himself in a different girl when he had the chance, especially the closer it had gotten to graduation. He was afraid he’d lose you after the three of you graduated from Columbia, the dark thought constantly lingering in his mind.

He’d almost kissed you that night, too. That night it was just you and him cuddled together on his bed after graduation. The last night in your dorms. He’d been overcome with the urge to just tell you everything and kiss you, but then he’d caught the feeling of your panic when he’d so carefully cradled your face in the palm of his hand, desperate to finally feel your lips on his. To hear you tell him you cared for him, too. But all he’d felt was your fear in that moment instead. You must’ve realized he was about to say something, that he’d been about to possibly kiss you, and you panicked at the thought of it. Because Foggy was asleep in the bed across from both of you and you loved him . So he’d bit the words back and said the first thing that came to his mind instead of what he really wanted to. And it fucking killed him to do so.

Now, here you all were getting together months later, and you were bringing your boyfriend. Clearly you’d tried to move on from Fog, but that didn’t make things hurt any less for Matt. He hadn’t moved on from you. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be able to at this rate. And he certainly tried–he’d fucked a few interns at Landman and Zack, but none of them made him forget how it felt to wake up beside you that morning he had after Elektra had left him.

“Oh hey, I think that’s them!” Foggy said excitedly.

His words drew Matt back to this miserable moment, the sound of Foggy’s hand waving the pair of you over only deepening the frown on his face. He didn’t want this asshole here with his arm around you. Probably kissing you in front of him. He wanted to be the one doing that. Not this random guy who’d recently popped into your life and didn’t know you like Matt did. It felt wrong .

“Hey guys!” your cheery voice greeted the pair of them.

Matt quickly did his best to tune out the sound of your body and ignore the faint scent of your arousal that abruptly hit him when you’d reached the table. His hand tightened around his bottle of beer again. Your boyfriend’s scent was mixed with yours and it didn’t sit right with Matt. It pissed him off, actually. For some reason he really wanted to hit this guy.

Foggy greeted you brightly with your name and then he felt your eyes land on him expectantly. The smile noticeably faltered on your face, he could hear it in the way your muscles shifted. Raising his head from the table, he forced a smile onto his mouth and greeted you with your name in return.

“Guys this is Liam,” you said, introducing your boyfriend.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Foggy exclaimed, reaching out a hand. “I’m Foggy.”

Liam reached out, accepting the handshake in return. Matt ground his teeth together as he listened to the interaction.

“I’ve heard so many stories about you both,” Liam was saying, his attention turning to Matt as Foggy released his hand. “You must be Matt, right?”

Matt knew Liam was extending a hand out towards him, he heard the air shift in front of him when he did. He also knew it was usually the polite thing to do to at least extend his own hand out when he introduced himself, allowing the other person to reach out and shake his hand. But he didn’t want to shake Liam’s hand. He didn’t want to be his friend. He didn’t want him here .

“Yeah, that’s me,” Matt replied.

He heard the way Liam’s hand awkwardly lowered back to his side after a few uncomfortable seconds. He could practically feel the three sets of eyes on him. That had been rude, but he didn’t care.

“How about I get us a drink?” Liam asked, turning to you.

“Sure, that’d be great!” you responded. “A beer would be good.”

When Liam leaned towards you and kissed you, Matt thought he was going to break the beer bottle with how hard he was gripping the neck of it. He even caught the light tap to your ass before he’d sauntered off to the bar, wishing he could’ve been as oblivious to that as Foggy was. Or to the way it’d made you blush.

“You seem happy,” Foggy said, reaching across the table and playfully slapping your shoulder. “How’ve you been?”

“Good!” you answered, your tone bright. “The job’s gotten a lot better now that the stress of being the newbie is past. How’ve you guys been? How’s the internship going? Still busy?”

Foggy blew out an exaggerated breath. “ Exhausting . We’ve been drowning in paperwork and menial tasks, but there’s apparently two positions opening up in a few months and I think Matt and I are in line for it.”

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed, your attention turning towards Matt. “That’s awesome! You guys deserve it!”

Matt’s heart might have skipped a beat at the sound of your excitement for them. He noticed your eyes lingering on him. Probably because he was being uncharacteristically silent tonight. And rude.

“So how’d you meet Liam? How long have you both been together?” Foggy asked, bringing his beer to his mouth for a drink.

Matt could tell you’d nervously ducked your head at the question, tucking some hair behind your ear. It was cute. You were cute. He wished you acted like that when asked about him instead of Liam .

“Just a couple of weeks,” you admitted. “It’s still new. I actually met him at a coffee shop–or, technically outside of it. We sort of grabbed each others’ drinks on accident. He was the one who’d noticed, I was just hurrying to get back home for work. He’d had to chase me down a block.”

You laughed and the sound was like a knife to Matt’s heart. You liked this guy. And that fucking hurt.

“He was sweet and had some terrible jokes,” you continued. “For some reason he asked me out to dinner and then, well–” you shrugged, “–here we are now.”

You cleared your throat, your attention nervously darting to Foggy and then back to himself before you ducked your head again. Matt’s eyes narrowed behind his glasses curiously, wondering what that had been about until you spoke again.

“So uh, are you two seeing anyone?” you asked.

Your tone was pitched higher than usual and Matt instantly guessed the reasoning. His eyes closed behind his glasses, his heart further sinking in his chest.

You still liked Foggy, didn’t you? He’d never have a chance with you.

“Well it turns out Marci is actually interning at Landman and Zack, too,” Foggy replied. “But uh, she still isn’t too interested in being serious. But I’m working on her!”

Your attention shifted to him, your heart having sped up at Foggy’s words. Probably upset because he was still pursuing Marci instead of you. He could sympathize with your heartache.

“And…what about you, Matt?” you asked, voice suddenly quieter.

He focused on you standing directly across from him at the table. You were gripping it firmly in both of your hands, your heart still beating a little faster after Foggy’s admission. He swallowed hard, trying to hide his emotions behind his glasses.

Still hopelessly in love with you.

“Ever the bachelor,” he said with a tense smile. “You know me.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond, but Liam had appeared at your side, cutting you off. He handed you your beer and you’d smiled when he’d kissed you on the cheek. Matt’s attention dropped back down on the table, his jaw clenched yet again. This was going to be a long night, he could already tell.

Maybe he could find an excuse to head out early. Claim he wasn’t feeling well or something. There was something he was thinking about doing tonight, something he’d recently picked up. The thought of it was sounding better and better the lower Liam slid his hand down your back. And it’d certainly be a better outlet beating an asshole who truly deserved it than your boyfriend. Plus if Foggy wasn’t at the apartment, well, then it’d be all the easier for him to slip in and out. Though he really needed to focus on getting his own place soon so he could keep his nightly activities private. He certainly couldn’t tell either of you what he got up to in the evenings. Maybe he’d just use the excuse to Fog that he needed his own place to bring women back to without having to constantly worry about a roommate. He’d surely buy that line. He already thought he was often out sleeping around as it was.

For the next half hour, Matt quietly drank down his beer, barely adding much to the conversation unless you or Foggy had directly acknowledged him. Shortly after he’d finished his drink, he’d made up an excuse about a bad headache. Despite the boisterous round of protests from you and Foggy, he’d departed the bar and made his way back to the apartment. When he’d gotten there, he’d wasted no time quickly dressing in the all black outfit he kept hidden in the false bottom of his father’s steamer trunk at the foot of his bed. Pulling the fabric of a mask over the majority of his face, he slipped out of his bedroom window, landing on the fire escape almost soundlessly. And then he was off scouring the rooftops of Hell’s Kitchen, ready to loose the anger he’d kept inside of himself tonight on someone who truly deserved it.

[END NOTES--which are always on my AO3 fics and give more insight & I figured some of you might want it for this installment]

Reader has a boyfriend in here! And we find out Matt has had feelings for Reader long before that interaction at the library. And he's been repeatedly misinterpreting her body to think that it's Foggy she's reacting to instead of him (even if he's aware of the physical attraction she has to him), especially with the knowledge that she has feelings for a friend. Doesn't help that Elektra intentionally fed him lies to further push that idea into his mind. Not to mention, Reader does panic when Matt is about to kiss her on graduation night, and Matt completely misreads the reasoning behind her body's reaction. And these idiots both keep saying that they're each other's 'friend' repeatedly. Plus it probably doesn't help that Matt intentionally tries to ignore her body so he doesn't have to hear it reacting to Fog (when really its him). And clearly Reader is often misinterpreting Matt's reactions to things (and he's also hiding it).

There you have it folks. They're both hopelessly in love with each other and have been for years. But no one is opening their damn mouth. Now Reader is dating someone else.

Oh, and Matt is now becoming the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, if you didn't catch that. But Foggy thinks he's out sleeping around. And therefore Reader probably does, too.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock fic #daredevil x female reader #matt murdock

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the-bloody-sadist · 6 months

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in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

#why does Tumblr only allow a certain amount of images #what a crime #bl recommendation #yaoi manga #yaoi recommendation #bl manga #top ten #my favorites #my recs #yaoi #sadist’s answered asks #whump #fujoshi #yaoi bl #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #scarlet beriko #harada #killing stalking

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chouxsardine · 4 months

Text

Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, “I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

----------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

#jake kiskza x reader #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fluff #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fic

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mothpawbs · 1 year

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edit: yooo part 2 is out go look at it!!

royal gals from arc 1! i used this as a way to further illustrate and explore my fashion headcanons, and i love how these turned out. design notes under the cut!

CORAL: i wanted her to look deceptively kind and bubbly, so i tend to draw her big and round like a whale. two inspiration for her design are king dorephan from breath of the wild and granmamare from ponyo. i give her a big coral crown and pearl jewelry. she has a lot of teardrop shapes bc she's probably sad about a lot of things

GLACIER: my favorite queen <3 i wanted her to look regal and no-nonsense but kind. with the exception of her crown, most of her accessories are very sleek and minimalistic. and of course i had to give her glasses because i'm obsessed with giving dragons glasses. i can't decide if the spikes on that crown are opal or enchanted ice, but the studs are black tourmaline.

SCARLET: the og bad bitch!! i love designs that make her look like the world's scariest, swankiest peacock, and the animated wings design was a huge inspiration here. her face markings are meant to look like a helmet. the mail vest she's wearing here is more for show than protection, an ostentatious piece she wears around the palace rather than something she'd don in battle. this is generally the fit i imagine she would wear to court sessions and arena matches.

MOORHEN: i would love to know more about her tbh. i like the colors i gave her, i think the shades of brown work really well together. the cord around her neck represents her sibs, the knot having four coils to symbolize each of them. she has agate embeds all over her, with the majority on her horns, wings, and wrists/ankles. i imagine she has tattooed wing membranes as well.

GRANDEUR: i wanted to make her look regal and positively ancient, and i think i succeeded well enough. her frill shape vaguely matches glory's, as well as her affinity for orange and gold color accents. the flowers are based on tropical rhododenrons.

BATTLEWINNER: ooo she was fun. basically no opportunity for fashion, as i'm sure anything she'd try to wear would burn or melt in her lava bathtub, but i got to do some fun scarring on her. her snout is all scratched up, one of her horns broke off at some point (i imagine that happened during her throne challenge, and that nightwings spar with their horns like rams or deer. she probably got slammed into a wall or something) and her ears are all kinds of shredded. any water vapor around her face and neck tends to solidify into ice, building up into big sparkly icicles over time.

#digital art #mag art #wof #wings of fire #royalty #queen coral #queen glacier #queen scarlet #queen moorhen #queen grandeur #queen battlewinner #seawing #icewing #skywing #mudwing #rainwing #nightwing #character design

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trashsketch · 2 years

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Alright! I wanna talk about my thought process behind this crazy detailed piece I made for the hxh adventures zine in 2018! Get ready for plenty of closeups and references.

So the @hxhadventures zine was the very first fandom zine I've ever been accepted in, which was huge for me back then, considering hxh is the first ever fandom I've been deeply involved in! So I was like 'damn...i gotta bust my balls to make a super good piece cause there's so many amazing artists working on this thing.' I will never make a piece this detailed again, probably LOL this took me...so many weeks.

I knew I wanted to make something regarding Yorknew City, and thought back to the marketplace that Leorio and Killua and Gon visited while waiting for Kurapika to get back to them. It reminded me a lot of Mongkok's markets when I visited Hong Kong a few years prior, so I worked with some references from there.

As for what goods would be sold in the stall...well. I was really figuring it out all as I went. After a while of thinking, I decided on drawing a bunch of little references from anything I could remember from hxh. References to characters, places, important props...nevermind that it didn't make sense that the characters were stepping into a shop that was basically meta, it just felt cool as hell to include anything I could remember from the nights when I binged the manga and anime.

Let's start from the top right:

These chinese animal lanterns are references to the 12 zodiacs! And I had to include the blimps that the main cast moved around in from the anime.

As we move lower:

Top row, left to right: Knuckle's nen, Shoot's nen, Knov's glasses, Palm's necklace of knives, Togashi and Naoko dog and rabbit bags (the first of 3 instances I would place them in this drawing)

Bottom row, left to right: Bisky's nen, Netero's nen, Morel's pipe, Kite's nen.

And on the rest of the rows on the wall:

From top to bottom, left to right:

Row 1: Pitou, Pouf, Youfi, Komugi, Meruem, various Gungi tiles

Row 2: Kurapika's nen (the rest of his finger chains from the manga), Leorio's nen (the fist that he used to punch Ging with), Gon's nen (since it's based off jankenpon), Killua's nen (just a lightning bolt lmao), Palm's crystal ball, Hisoka's cards

Row 3: Togashi dog, Naoko rabbit, a (very tiny) representation of the W and E books from dark continent expedition arc, the starting tower of Greed Island, the Hunter symbol.

Row 4: Black whale ship, Heaven's arena tower, I...forgot what this tree was meant to be LOL, the World tree that Gon climbs to see Ging, 1999 anime hunter license, 2011 anime hunter license.

Moving on lower! We have:

Top row: Togashi and Naoko again as plushies, the Greed Island book, a postcard of Whale Island, the Greed Island end prize card case.

Bottom row: Various characters as dolls, a reference to Hisoka viewing everyone as dolls.

And now on the bottom right:

Some of these are various plushies from Alluka's room (it was mostly filler)

And last, but not least:

On the left we have a hookah pipe, because Kurapika was smoking it in the 1999 anime:

And the ring that Gon is pointing at is the ring that they later used as a prize for Leorio's plan!

#my art #hxh #yorknew #leorio #killua #gon #killugon #a very long ramble about the props i included as references to the hxh series itself #hope everyone understands now that i'm insane!#me: i wanna make a love letter for hxh. me 3 weeks into this piece: ughdhgjjkgkjdf

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 3 months

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Skelles with a partner with ADHD

imagine, s/o wonders if they forgot something and realizes they're shaking, and then says "oh that's right, I forgot to eat". I think this scenario with Oak would be interesting, I imagine them talking and they say "what were we talking about?" and Oak "I don't remember either"

This post is for all my ADHD pals (myself included). Some of these might or might have not happened in real life lol.

Undertale Sans - That's the second time you come back home because you forgot something. He's waiting just behind the door with all your missing things and puts them in your arms. He's so used to it with Papyrus than it's quite normal.

Undertale Papyrus - How are you surviving. You were going to go to the grocery store when you both saw flashing pretty colours on a shop facade. That's ten minutes you're just staring at the pretty colours now, hypnotized. By the time you finally get tired of this, you completely forgot what you were doing, it's dark outside and all the shops are closed. Well, shit. Guess you're eating in a restaurant outside because the fridge is empty.

Underswap Sans - You were driving and got distracted, and now you're both somehow in the middle of a random forest with no idea where you're supposed to go. Blue is slowly losing in mind, and eventually, he can't take it anymore. He bursts the door open and starts running at full speed in the forest, just screaming, to calm down. You try to follow him, but then you can't find the road back to the car and decided to just sit on a rock and wait :')

Underswap Papyrus - That's the third time he whines now. Like a puppy. You're focus on a video game for three hours now. He's invisible now. Not only it's his video game in the first place but now he wants attention :( Please? Just a pet? :( He's sad boy.

Underfell Sans - He asked you three times if you had your keys before driving to your vacation place for three hours. In front of the house you rent, you start to pat your pockets, more and more distressed. Red stares at you. You smile apologetically at him. He takes a deep breath and walks behind the house. Then screams and throws bones into the wall. Before coming back, calm, down and telling you they're going back to fetch the keys.

Underfell Papyrus - He flicks you behind the head every time you lose focus. You said you would do your taxes and not let you get distracted. He's taking his role very seriously. He's just standing behind you, arms crossed. You can feel his breath on your neck. Do. Your. Taxes.

Horrortale Sans - So he followed you, not realizing you had no idea where you were going. Since you thought he knew where you two were supposed to go. It takes an hour and three times to pass in front of the same shop for Oak to ask where you're going. And you, just blinking back, saying you thought he knew where you were going. Awkward silence. After a while, you decide to call Willow to ask him where you two are supposed to go...

Horrortale Papyrus - You absolutely wanted to paint and nothing else, so Willow struggled to buy you art stuff in the shortest time. As soon as he gets home, you blink at him and just say "Oh I changed my mind, I like to draw now." Willow takes a deep breath, then turns around. FINE. If you won't have your painting hyperfocus now, he will because it was damn expensive and it's not going to waste.

Swapfell Sans - He's tired of watching you rambling and pacing so he just makes your soul blue and suddenly change your gravity. You fall on your stomach like a dying whale and can't move from the ground now. Nox sighs with relief. You're stressing him out, he needs a break.

Swapfell Papyrus - That's three times he calls you to eat. He grabs your book, climbs a chair, sticks it to the ceiling with super glue, and says you can have it again only after you come and eat. You obey, grumbling. You're not even hungry. You make two steps and collapse because you have actually no energy. Ah.

Fellswap Gold Sans - You keep moving in bed, randomly kicking him in your sleep as you can't keep your legs still. After one too many kicks, he hisses and bites your leg with all he has, which for sure wakes you up. Wine huffs and goes back to sleep like nothing happened. You're too in shock to even proceed what just happened.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You're fighting to know who has the less anxiety today to move your ass from the couch and go to the grocery store. None of you is ready to move and procrastinate the best you can so the other goes. Coffee tried to yeet you out with his magic but you held on to him and it didn't work. Now you're having a stare battle. You sure you will win.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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madlad-sadgal · 9 months

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Y'all liked it so here's a few more things I noticed in my watching of Nimona (again).

Nimona Spoilers!

We get a small section of Ball's innocence wall, and we see that his primary suspect is none other than Thodeus "Todd" Sureblade. Also, Blackheart is used everywhere, most likely as a nod to the comic, but also as what the media has dubbed this new villain, as we do as a society in real life. Giving certain famous serial killers names is an example.

Nimona did some drawings and said it was because she wanted her resume to pop, but it was most likely because she can't write or read as no one really took the time to explain it or teach her.

"Lay low until we RISE LIKE A FIERY PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT!" Nimona not only spoiled her shifting into a phoenix to save the realm from the canon, but also her coming back (rising from her ashes like a phoenix)

We get another shot of Bal's innocence wall, and there we see a place where he circled in red "Who has the ressources for a laser like that?" And honestly, to me, it reminded me of what the canon did, which would explain the Director, since she clearly has access to the canons. The laser in Bal's sword, the laser in her staff, and finally the laser from the canon. Everything was her.

The Director was most likely acting overly dramatic when talking to Bal because she wanted to reinforce the guilt, and maybe even gaslight him into thinking it was his fault.

As the Director is leaving, we can see Nimona sneaking in as a mouse in the bottom left corner.

When we see the beat up knights, in the upper left corner, you can see a knight stuck in a vending machine, which I just found funny.

The light reflecting off Nimona's eyes, indicating her clear difference from everyone else.

When Nimona throws her axe, it hits a knight in the background who then falls off a ledge and falls down a few stories, so she may have actually killed someone.

We can clearly see Ambrosius go through so many emotions when he sees Bal again; relief that he's alive and he didn't kill him, guilt for his arm when he glanced at the prosthetic, confusion when Nimona calls him Nemesis, and surprise when she drags Bal away. Also, when she drags him into the closet, we get a short shot of Ambrosius half way through unsheathing his sword.

Bal's "Did you see the way he looked at me?" Being a parallel to Nimona's "Did you see the way that little girl looked at me?"

Nimona quite literally rips a pole in half and bends it over the door to keep it closed, showing a great amount of strength.

The "You're gonna die in this closet!" Joke that we all catches but I still wanted to point out because it's funny.

As Nimona is falling through the floors as a whale, she tells us that Todd canonically has a small dick ("Cold in here?")

I saw this pointed out once, but still wanted to as well, but Nimona says that she spruced up the Lair by making it more evil, but she quite literally adds Christmas lights, showing her childish side.

When we get another shot of the new murder wall, we can see the picture of Todd again, except Nimona drew a fist punching him in the face.

That's what I have so far. Might do more if y'all like this!

#nimona #nimona movie #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #ballister x ambrosius #director

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coldalbion · 3 months

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Dis/nomers: On misnomers, magic-metaphors, and life in general

So, here's the thing: a lot of societal and cultural metaphors around magic and occultism are in the so-called West, frankly, bad and a product of the imprecision in the English language about "power", which themselves are inherently modelled on industrial-capitalist frameworks thanks to the Industrial Revolution, and steam power. Think about what you mean when you use the word "power" or "intent" and ask yourself whether you are once again running on 19th Century (colonialist ideas: for example see non-Indigenous misconceptions of mana) that boil down to thinking you're a steam engine or some sort of closed system - because that's what the whole popular idea of energy comes from. Why? Because willpower doesn't really exist. Now something seems to be going on, when we do certain things. But are we hoodwinking ourselves - barking up the wrong tree, being led down the garden path -by the porting in pop-metaphor? Sure, it's easier, but is the apparent ease and clarity obscuring insights? Is it preventing us from taking our place as part of a living world; not clockwork and piston but inter-and-intra-relating, inter-and-intra-being in an 'animist' cosmovision? Consider the metaphors you use, and wonder how they're using you. Because they are - we are thinking-with-and-being-with the ongoing worlding of a daimonic (agential) kosmos. And that All is doing the same-with-us. Remember, changing the metaphors we use can change the way we think, and how we are in the world. This is why I mutter about kenning, as found in Old Norse poetry, but also as a method of indirectly approaching experience by folding in the world. Kenning is, in one sense creating a poetic metaphor, a circomlocution that describes a thing without direct nominalisation. A wheelchair user can be a throne-walker; the sea is not just the sea, it is the whale-road and also Aegir's-cauldron, Poseidon's-stable, etc etc.

"It is no coincidence that a kenning is a poetic term of art, a doubling and metaphoric circumlocution of a singular noun or thing – the sea becoming the “whale-road”, a sword seen as the “icicle of red shields”. A singular referent now exceeds itself, drawing the relationality with the whole world of those present. This indirectness, far from detracting from the referent, deepens the knowing. Each portion of the kenning exceeds itself also, thusly thickening the field of the sword or sea, and, in enhancing its relationality, enlivens each further. Further, this means that the poet acknowledges the excess of the referents, comprehending that kenning may build on kenning, and the full, totalistic mapping of a referent is doomed to fail in terms of completion. This goes even beyond the usual aphorism from astronomer Carl Sagan: “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” For each element of the apple pie is capable of being defined by the relationality of all presences, in all forms, positions, and configurations in all possible and impossible universes – and each of these in turn relate to each other as they will. This then, is the joy and horror, the wonder and terror of an animate, fluxing kosmos – there is always more." - Goêtic Atavisms, Frater Acher & Craig 'VI' Slee (See link above: also available on Amazon as well as from the publisher if you need that)

Do we want to live in a world circumscribed by misnomers, grandfathered in with extractive and clunky ways of perceiving the world? Or do we want to embrace the dis/abling wyrd strangenesses of the numinous? The liberatory power of the dis/nomer - the radical proposition that there is always more than can be named, can be contained? That we might ken more if we embraced blurry, uncertain periphalisms which spiral endlessly inward and down into pandaemonic, living, breathing labyrinths? If we immersed ourselves in relational eddies, tides and gyres eternally returning-and-coming-forth-again - dis/membered and re-membered anew? To dive into currents and flows - the multiplicitous assemblage of influences which are the very bodyof the oceanic river which Herakleitos warned us that we could never enter in the same place twice? What might we notice is already happening, already ongoing, that we are amidst, then? Might we spot the plurality of Minotaurs engaging in their diasporic fugitivity, nomads in their myriad labyrinths, far older, wiser, and weirder than we thought we knew? Spaces of monstrously numinous sanctuary, far beyond the ken of the Theseus (their supposed slayer) and his identitarian regime of denial, his heroic ever-intact status quo. Pity the ship-builders in their labour; they work do so under the threat of sword - or is it gun and bomb, these days? But while Theseus abandons Ariadne, Dionysos does not! And while Theseus eschews the sea route to perform his labours in order to gain heroic glory and satisfy ambition, his oceanic ancestry has the last laugh - both mortal father Aegeus (thrown into the sea that bears his name) and he (thrown off an island cliff - presumably into the ocean) were reclaimed; seized by the sea and its thundering white horses. What might it be, to be oceanically possesed as that hero's mother was? To have one's soul-sea stirred by the Earthshaker? We can but dream on the matter - while also slyly noting that Athenians kept the Ship of Theseus preserved, as mark of divine heritage in their feted city ruled by the demos. What matters now, in these days when even politicians talk of the so-called "will of the people", is matters of ancestry and history dismissed; lineages of language and its many influences ignored - no entanglements here, vine or otherwise, we assure you! But thankfully, the ship-builders know the way of wood and net and weave. They know how many planks pass through their hands, how many nails struck, how much pitch is brewed. They know there's more. They're craftsfolk after all - assemblages are their business, whatever the material - they know what mattering is. And isn't it interesting that the Temple of Hephaistos in Athens was once mistakenly called the Thesseion - The Temple of Theseus, before the moderns realised their mistake? Watch the words we use, and how they use us. Be seeing you.

#goetic atavisms #magick #occult

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krabandkrill · 5 months

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COME GET YOUR FOOD YALL!!! EXCLUSIVE STORY CONTENT AND STUFF!!

Here, as I promised, the final looks for everyone ✨

And as you may notice…Azazel, and Hei, aren’t in there >:}

(Also Krill has hands but- explanations under the picture)

This might like- break some of y’all’s hearts (or not! He was an ASS) but Azazel was ALWAYS meant to die at the end. He was meant to sacrifice himself for his sibling, and it would be his one and only concrete act of growth. And- Hei too- but I didn’t draw him here because I got ✨lazy✨ and they also just turn into a lil star

Krill was (alongside Krab, but I’ll reveal everything another time) meant to almost join the darkness again…and that would be when Azazel would realize that, due to their new form, their new nature, being turned back to the darkness is actually actively harmful to Krill rather than healthy and natural. And that they’re just suffering through it to be with their brother again. And that’s when Azazel would intervene and put an end to it, effectively sacrificing himself for them, like he had always wanted to (because- they sacrificed their life for him, he always felt oh so guilty about it, all that TASTY stuff~)

Moving on ~

Y’know I actually toyed with the idea of a whale elder a lot, and were I to remake the story, I’d actually add her in. As a force of strength, neutrality, wilderness. Literally « a force of nature not to be reckoned with ». Here’s something I threw at my friend @altra-tes actually, to accompany the art :

I, of course, LOVED the leviathan and the manatees ??? So I REALLY wanted to draw some art of them as…sky…kids? Well, the manatee at least. They’re a sweet lil shy baby, pretty short and quiet, but really gentle overall, loves to play

And as for the leviathan, I…

…

Well, what can I say. Come get your food.

ANYWAY

there will be more! But that’s all you get for now, now get off my porch

#I’ll also reopen asks but I’ll be slow and selective be aware #KEEP THE SIMPING TO A MINIMUM THO /lh #sky children of the light #thatskygame #krab&krill #sky cotl #sky: children of the light #sky: cotl #that sky game #sky cotl krill #sky cotl crab #skykid #sky cotl leviathan #sky cotl whale #sky : cotl creatures #krabandkrill

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sinfullyrosey · 2 years

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[Insert Clever Title]

There aren’t nearly enough fics focused on Yuu/MC/Reader being nonhuman and their interactions with the other human and nonhuman characters. I say that, and yet, I’ve barely written any myself. But I still wanted to contribute, so here are a few ideas I’ve come up with. Feel free to share your own or even use these as prompts. All I ask is to be informed so I can see.

Lioness!Reader being the betrothed to Leona since they were little and having playdates. Reader loved to playfight with him and would always pin him (like Nala did to Simba). The relationship is basically just like Darek and Odette’s with the whole This is Not My Idea song up until they’re young adults. Leona is in denial of having fallen for you, but can’t help but admire how strong and beautiful you’ve become.

Mushroom Fae!Reader constantly feeling the looming presence of a certain eel follow them around, asking rather strange or invasive questions. It doesn’t help that you’re much shorter than most of the other students, so your legs can’t outrun the much taller student. Eventually, the two of you start to grow closer and the roles are reversed. Now you’re the one following him around and demanding attention due to his greenthumb towards fungi.

Rat/Cayote!Reader having a rivalry with Ruggie, as both grew up poor and had to scavenge for their meals. Reader often would swipe the last sandwich during lunch and Ruggie would pluck every edible plant before you could. However, after you fell ill and were bedridden, Ruggie, surprisingly, left you a bowl of soup, his grandma’s special recipe. After that the two of you become quite the nuisance duo.

((Warning: Gore Mention)) Sea Cucumber!Reader being squeezed by Floyd, only to accidently force them to spit up their organs and other innards, horrifying both him and every nearby student. Reader merely coughs and says they’re fine and can just grow them back, or they can just shovel the old ones back in. Floyd is super over the top gentle towards you after that.

Persian Cat!Reader being one of Vil’s favorite dormmates because of how much you love to be pampered. You’re the most well behaved and spoiled, constantly demanding Vil’s time and attention. You tend to annoy Epel and lose your temper when he picks fights with you, leading to Vil having to scold both of you.

Crow Harpy!Reader absolutely loving any and all things shiny and just swiping jewelry, silverware, and coins from anyone that’s not careful. You eventually taking a liking to Kalim, what with all this jewelry and sunshiny self. He’s more than happy to give you little trinkets and pieces of treasure, while you thank him by preening him affectionately. Eventually, you decide to show him your nest hoard and tell him he’s your greatest treasure.

Insect Fae!Reader terrorizing Jamil, because of course you would.

Orca!Reader terrorizing the Octatrio because killer whales are dicks of the sea and will literally torment their prey for the hell of it and those three need to be taught some manners. Or, alternatively, you work at the Lounge as a bouncer and terrorize everyone else. Either way, somebody is gonna end up your own personal beach ball to throw around.

Just straight up an Eldritch Horror!Reader that takes on the form of an average, unassuming human. Pretends to be normal and weak to not draw attention to yourself, but eventually it slips out here and there the more comfortable you get towards everyone. Your favorite form of affection is when you just unhinge your entire jaw and gently bite down on someone’s head like some extremely weird form of a kiss. Vil especially hates it because how dare you ruin his makeup and hair you interdimensional potato??? ADeuce are the first to learn of your true form and are used to whatever weird, new thing they witness you doing now. Malleus and Lilia are fascinated if anything, if not a bit curious to know if you could actually take either of them on. You also have full on hurled Rook across the track field at least once since he learned of your true form (he provoked you so it’s deserved).

#Twisted Wonderland #TWST #GN!Reader #Fem!Reader #I'm too lazy to tag everyone and it's neither fic nor scenerio so whatev #Gee Rosey when will you actually post another fic again?#when I'm good and ready >:/

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jessaerys · 1 month

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your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

#death note #meronia #mello dn #near dn #mihael keehl #nate river #mello #near #fic recs #this took so long to compile dfkgjfdjkgfdjk

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nicherayyy · 1 year

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heyy! hope you're having a good day/afternoon/night so far! i've been enjoying many of your la squadra x child! reader drabbles, they're just so cute o((>ω< ))o

i was wondering if i could have some headcanons of the la squadra members letting their stands interact with the child reader (for the sake of this, we'll just say the reader is a stand user since it'd be impossible for a non-stand user to see stands)? idk, i think it'd be so cute seeing scenarios like: the reader giving little feet random useless things and just wanting it to shrink them or maybe the reader trying to teach baby face what they learned in school. not sure how the reader would interact with pesci or ghiaccio's stands since they're not exactly humanoid?? but i'm sure you'll come up with something awesome, haha. tysm!

Omg I’m crying

Child Reader interacting with La Squadra stands

Let’s just imagine that you were born as a stand user (which actually really surprised La Squadra), so you can see their stands. You’re a curious child, so the only thing you want is to communicate with your adoptive parents stands, I mean.. who wouldn’t want to.

When you first saw Man In The Mirror, well, you just stared at him. Don’t think that you were scared, just the opposite. The stand’s features were just.. so interesting. So interesting that you didn’t even blink while looking at him (this scared Illuso af). But after some time you started reading book with the stand. Meanwhile Man In The Mirror just watched over you:

“And then, a big-big hippo.. hip..”

“Hippopotamus”, Illuso corrected with pure amusement in his voice.

“Hush, I’m not reading to you”, you rolled your eyes and then looked at Illuso’s stand that was hiding in the mirror “Am I right?”, Man In The Mirror just nodded.

And when you found out that Little Feet can shrink things, oh boy. Formaggio is already used to these moments when his child asking him if he can “summon his friend because I want him to shrink this book for me”. This moments is so random the poor man doesn’t even know when you want to shrink something again.

Ghiaccio’s White Album is your personal cat. Blue haired man didn’t want you to interact with his stand at first, but he couldn’t stand you being upset so he gave up.

“Can I see a kitty?”, you asked innocently.

“It’s not a cat and my answer is”, Ghiaccio looked into your eyes full of hope “My answer is yes, you can see him” he said before summoning his stand. Ghiaccio is an angry gremlin, but even he can’t resist your wishes.

Fishing with Pesci is gonna be a thing. It’s your monthly tradition after all.

“And now pull”

“Like this?”, you asked while pulling Beach Boy out of water.

“Yes”, Pesci patted your head while smiling, “You did such a great job”

Baby Face is willing to listen whatever you say. Hears something interesting at school? He is already waiting for the interesting fact you’ll tell him today.

“Did you know that whale songs can be used to map out the ocean floor? Isn’t it incredible?”

Melone is just happy to see you so hyped up about something, so he just watches your interaction. In addition, such conversations will help develop his junior.

Risotto would never have thought that his stand can be cute to someone. Well, that was before he met you. Even just holding those little beans in your hands made you so happy.

“Can I hold beans?”

Risotto was distracted from his paperwork.

“Sure you can, just make sure not to make much noise, I’m still working”, he said before Metallica beans were summoned in your hands.

What about Grateful Dead.. well, you saw him just once. From a distance. And after that you keep asking Prosciutto to see him again.

“When will I see your stand again?”, you confront him, looking disappointed.

Prosciutto just sighed.

“I told you that never, it’s dangerous” he replied before putting you in his lap. Anyway you’ll be waiting for Prosciutto’s stand appearance, you even draw him a picture. He must feel so lonely because Pros won’t let you see him.

#la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #la squadra #jjba part 5 #jojo bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba x reader #risotto nero x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #ghiaccio x reader #melone x reader #jjba vento auero #vento aureo

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local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti · 8 months

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hello! I just wanted to know your thoughts on orcas living in accredited facilities. are they thriving, or are they too smart to be 'locked up' as ARAs say? I've been debating myself on this for a while, and I wanted to ask someone ^^^

Are captive killer whales doomed and depressed? Was it right to end the breeding program?

Hi there! Thank you for being curious and asking these questions!

I can tell you that current welfare data of killer whales in accredited facilities does suggest positive welfare eg. demonstrating optimistic welfare states and demonstrating healthy social and reconciliation behaviours in Loro Parque orcas. (source) (source)

Unfortunately we just don't have a whole lot of welfare data for killer whales the same way we do for bottlenose dolphins. But that's sort of a generalised answer.

I want to address your questions specifically though.

Are orcas "too smart" for being in human care?

I'd say that the intelligence or the supposed hyper intelligence of cetaceans has been overblown and has been the source of contention since John Lilley came on the scene in the 60's making wild claims about hyper intelligent dolphins that speak their own language that still persist to this day (never mind the guy killed dolphins in his experimental brain scans and gave them LSD... the 60's were wild).

The people claiming orcas are too intelligent are people like Dr. Lori Marino - a neuroscientist who makes unsubstantiated claims about cetacean intelligence and draws conclusions about intelligence and cognition from brain scans. Can brain structure give you some data to make educated guesses on intelligence? Sure. But you can't then draw conclusions about welfare about animals you've never examined or done a welfare assessment of.

None of the people making these claims have done objective welfare assessments with access to health and veterinary records.

Lori, as well as other lobbyists like Naomi Rose and Ingrid Visser, have been called out by the scientific community more than once on publishing papers that make unsubstantiated claims about welfare.

My colleagues published this paper refuted their claims that orcas were being "damaged" by captivity (using human comparisons of prisoner of war camps despite human and killer whale brains being separated by millions of years of evolution) . But the media had already picked up the catchy, shocking paper that got published by a journal with no cetacean experience ( the Journal of Veterinary Behavior who also refused to retract the paper despite letters from cetacean welfare scientists)

There is unfortunately a huge problem of lobbyists who are lobbying governments to change laws on cetacean welfare who are using science to skew data for their personal beliefs. And they are absolutely shameless and will block any other scientists that try to refute them.

If anything, intelligence creates adaptability. There's a reason we have bottlenose dolphins in human care around the world but not harbor porpoises. Bottlenose dolphins are socially intelligent and more easily adapt to new environments and bond with human care takers. Orcas are similar, though environmental change has been reported to upset them a lot more. They are very socially intelligent, which makes them very interested in learning and being curious and bonding with human caretakers.

If captive orcas were truly so utterly broken the way they're depicted by media and these "studies" they would not be able to learn new behaviours, they would not eat and play and socialise and they would not engage with the trainers and guests.

See a whole playlist of SeaWorld orcas in their free time - it really helps you look beyond those 10 second "sad SeaWorld orca" videos (it's usually just Keet resting because that's what he prefers to do in his spare time)

Are orcas in accredited facilities "depressed" or suffering in any way?

Now when it comes down to actual welfare of orcas in accredited facilities - based on anecdotal and scientific evidence, statements from trainers I've talked to who work with the animals every day (no they're not getting paid any more than minimum wage and speak freely), what I've witnessed through many hours of observation ect.

I can say with a fair amount of certainty that these orcas are not abused, depressed, doomed or going insane. They have a robust enrichment program, get the best vet care in the world (I'm sure @orcinus-veterinarius can attest to that), are engaged and motivated to learn regardless of satiety (though they'll have their off days of course) and they have good stable social structures that rarely see any hyper aggression (but aggression is normal in social groups too).

Could it be better?

Absolutely. If it were up to me, they would have the Blue World project done and built, bigger habitats, more novel enrichment ideas to encourage hunting behaviour that's not just Big Ball TM (they love it and it's easy but we can do better), more autonomy of habitat eg. being able to turn on water jets when they want to.

And waterwork would still be a thing trainers can do - not for shows but for the unmatched relationship building and desensitisation that it gave these animals. It actually made them safer to be in the water with (look at Kamagowa Sea World orca waterwork and how blaise they are with their whales - those whales will allow any sort of nonsense and someone falling in their pool wouldn't worry me at all)

What about the breeding ban:

I understand why they stopped breeding to appease the public but unfortunately it has introduced other welfare problems. Female orcas cannot be on Regumate - birth control - for longer than a year or it'll destroy her body very quickly. So separation of females and males occurs. And that can be really stressful - especially for matriarchs like Katina who had to be separated from Makaio.

Breeding bans are not done with the welfare in mind. They're done as a sanctimonious "save the babies" effort to "protect" them from no actual documented suffering. While denying animals the natural and very instinctive behaviours of reproduction.

It's amazing how much a calf can enrich a pod. Everyone pitches in to babysit and watch out for them, to teach them how to play and how to learn. It's really sad that the orcas of SeaWorld have been denied that now and it'll be very sad to see them die off one by one until there's only one very lonely whale left.

Anyway I hope that answers some questions. Happy to answer any more you might have.

#cetacean welfare #cetacean #dolphin #orca #blackfish #seaworld

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monsoon-of-art · 1 year

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Hey! I had a late night idea in regards to your mer au of Ingo cheering up Dawn. I hope it's okay to share it with you.

Ingo frown stretched lower than usual "What's wrong?"

Dawn paused to gather her thoughts, and then eventually turned to him "Can you be honest with me?"

"Of course."

"Do you...like it here?"

Ingo's gaze drifted out to the stretch of water above them as he considered her question "I am grateful for the hospitality of my clan and being of service to my Noble brings me great satisfaction if that's what you're asking. "

But Dawn shook her head "No, I mean, do you like living here?" With a wide sweep of the arm, she gestured to the space in front of them "In the ocean?"

Ingo made a thoughtful noise "I don't know what to compare it to, I'm afraid. It's all I've ever known. I cannot recall living anywhere else. Why do you ask?"

Dawn shrugged "I just...I don't know how you live here. I don't know if I could. It's so scary here!"

She forced a smile up at her Uncle's concerned eyes "Don't get me wrong, I love being with you and the other mers are nice...mostly. And I still think it's cool to be a mer and to do things and go places nobody else in the Survey Corps can. And I like writing down all the weird and wonderful things I find out about marine life, but..."

Dawn twiddled her fingers, folding in on herself as if to hide. "For every reason I find to love the ocean... there's so many more reasons to dread it.

"Everything's bigger than me, including everything that wants to eat me. And even the things that are way smaller than me are terrifying. Like pufferfish or jellyfish or the time Sabi told me that starfish would eat my body if I died. It's all so creepy! I feel like I can't go anywhere without being in danger.

"And sometimes the creatures I find give me the shudders when I have to draw them or write about them. Everything seems to be either full of teeth, are armed to the teeth, slimy, have unspeakable diets or are deceptivley cute. It's like swimming through a place of nightmares!"

She sighed internally "Honestly, I'm beginning to hate coming back to the ocean again and again. If it weren't for the fact that the Survey Corps are relying on my research...Ingo, how do you deal with being here?"

Ingo straightened his cap and gave an apologetic shrug "I suppose because I don't face a lot of the problems you do, I'm not a pup who's just learning to swim and I don't have to fear as many of this world's creatures you do. And like I said before, the ocean is all I've ever known. But I do admire your courage in coming here for your research, even if I'd prefer that you'd stay on land."

"It's kinda sad, you know? The ocean's not as...well...magical as I thought it would be."

It broke Ingo's heart to see the girl look so sombre. It must have been hard to be such a small and vulnerable pup in a vast, unforgiving ocean. And Dawn was right, the ocean could be a cruel and ugly place...but it wasn't all it was. Ingo's amnesia had brought him to be blown away by so many rich experiences as if it was his first time in the ocean. When he first arrived, members of the Pearl Clan would smile and laugh affectionately at the way he stared at the reef coming to life around him, mesmerised by the shifting colours and shapes. Or the times he could swim beside a pod of sperm whales during patrols, the motions of his tail mirrored by slow, graceful giants that would turn their gaze at him with seemingly all knowing eyes . And even something as simple as a kelp forest seemed to hold such majesty and serenity if you stopped to enjoy its shade.

The orca's attention was brought back to the melancholy child in front of him as an idea tugged up the corners of his mouth. "How about I show you something?"

Dawn couldn't see much between the gaps of Ingo's fingers as they closed securely around her, just a deep cobalt blue interrupted by the occasional black shape. Although, more and more black shapes were appearing, occasionally blocking out the light. She grew nervous. Where was Ingo taking her? They've been travelling like this for quite a while now.

Ingo broke the silence with a smile in his voice: "We have arrived at our stop. Are you ready?"

The black shapes were more frequent than ever now. Dawn was incredibly uneasy, but also admittedly curious. And Ingo's cheerful tone calmed her down somewhat, telling her she was in no danger.

"Okay." That came out more timid than intended.

Ingo removed the hand that served as her roof and the bright blue light surrounding her made her blink.

And all around them wide, graceful sheets of black and white glided through the vast blue space.

Manta rays.

So many-too many! Like the ocean had moving stripes! All of them slowly migrating forward. Below Ingo's steady hand she could see more of them below, many so far down they were fading into space. The filtered sun above them was occasionally blocked out, leaving dancing shadows over Dawn and Ingo's form.

Beside her, one of them glided close enough for her to note its large gaping mouth. She flinched.

"It's alright" said Ingo, holding her closer to his tunic "They're harmless."

Dawn read about Manta rays. She knew they were only filter feeders and that they wouldnt harm her with barbs in their tails. However, seeing a Manta ray up close and personal was different to seeing one in a book, and new uncertanties curled in her stomach.

But she trusted Ingo. She was safe with him and he wouldn't take her anywhere he deemed too risky. And even if there was danger, he would close his hand over her again at the first sign of it. She laid lack into his tunic behind her and took in the comfort that came with it. Her shoulders began to relax.

"They're quite friendly, and even playful" Ingo continued "Sometimes I blow bubbles here because I know they enjoy swimming through them."

He demonstrated, and he was right. Some mantas above them seemed to slow down through the streams of air, and even circled back to have a second go.

Dawn giggled. It was almost like they were watching dolphins.

Ingo pointed up to the larger mantas above them with his free hand "See the markings on the underside of their bodies?"

Dawn nodded

"The shape of the markings is unique to each animal, like a fingerprint."

"Really? So you can tell each Manta Ray apart?"

Ingo scratched the back of his neck "Well, I haven't personally memorised any markings, and even if I did, there are too many at this station to keep track of, but yes, in theory you could."

For a good while, they stayed there. Ingo had long since became lost in his own rambling, and Dawn was just happy to listen. He was spouting facts about everything he was taught about the creatures around them, from their feeding habits to the how and why of their migrations.

She couldn't even hope to remember half of it all, but she took mental notes to write down some of the more interesting things he mentioned when she had the chance.

If the Mers weren't so afraid of humans and visa versa, Dawn imagined Ingo would be quite valuable to the Survey Corps.

Dawn took another glance around her. The colossal, yet quiet creatures drifted in a steady stream around them; taking their time towards an unknown destination, like commuters in a crowded city, but in slow motion. It was so serene here. So peaceful. Gentle giants, just like Ingo and so many of the other mers.

"There really is no danger, is there?"

Ingo chuckled "No. Not here."

But then his smile dipped and he looked soberly down at Dawn.

"Perhaps there is danger back at the reefs, waiting for us. And perhaps there always will be a dangerous and ominous side to the ocean. But the ocean is vast. And in all that space there is room for beauty as well, and gentleness, and wonder. The scope of it amazes even me.

"My home is frightening, and I'm worried that I won't be able to protect you from all that it holds, but I don't want you to miss out on all that's good in this world either. In more ways than one, it is magical. I hope you come to see it that way too."

Akari leaned further into her Uncle's tunic and smiled.

Yeah, maybe she will.

"Thanks, Ingo."

(Aaaaaand it's morning! Wow, that idea really exploded! Thank you for letting me share, though. And thank you again for all your art and stories! :) )

;w;

#thats so good! very sweet #thank you!!#stuff cool people made #pkm mer au

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