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amphtaminedreams · 3 years

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Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot (Part 2)

Hey to anyone reading,

I’m so sorry for the gap between the last fashion week review post and this one! Argh. I had no idea I posted it as long ago as the beginning of March but I think we can all agree that lockdown has fucked with our perceptions of time completely. I wish I could say the delay in posting was as simple as me being busy but I’ve also started to reflect on whether or not I want to carry on this format of posts for the time being; on the scale of problems, this one is wayyy down there in the very lower quartile of the first world region, but my motivation to carry on this kind of content in the form of long-winded text posts is...meh...not so much there anymore. At first I was thinking the issue was that working on these was my last priority on my daily to-do lists but as I’ve got back into writing fiction, it’s kind of occurred to me that the fact I was putting these posts on my to-do lists in the first place along with things like doing the ironing and contacting student finance speaks volumes. When I’m back from work or winding down, opening up Tumblr and coming back to this draft isn’t something that I think of as a fun stress reliever in the way drafting stories is. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my imagination or my creativity or expressing myself in any way and it’s not much of an escape from day to day life in the way that writing dialogue or exploring characters is. Maybe it’s because I’ve done quite a few of these posts now but I just tend to feel like I’m repeating myself, you know kinda like when you’re writing an essay and trying to fill up a word count; of course there are collections that I do have a lot of opinions on but by and large, sometimes it boils down to THESE CLOTHES ARE JUST FUCKING PRETTY, OKAY?! There’s only so many things you can say about a tulle skirt or an exaggerated collar before you want to strangle yourself with said tulle. I used to think iF VoGUe RuNwaY wRitErs CaN dO iT WhAT's MY exCusE until I realised that 1). Vogue Runway writers actually get paid and 2). for the most part all they do is explain the designer's intentions behind the collections verbatim without giving a critical opinion anyway.

I think a lot of the pressure I feel to justify what are in reality quite simple observations and opinions goes back to some of the feelings I explained in my first ever fashion week review where people who know more about fashion and have a formal education in the subject tend to be kind of gatekeep-y and elitist. It can never be that you appreciate different things about a collection but rather than one of you has taste and the other doesn’t and if it wasn’t obvious, the taste level assigned to you by the powers that be tend to positively correlate with the amount of money you have available to spend on a degree that has a reputation for failing to provide a steady income, which for most makes it an unrealistic avenue to pursue. I know, I know, the pressure is totally self-inflicted and wholly imagined seeing as I have under 500 followers on here and those who do interact with these posts most likely do so for the pictures but I still feel it, and given that I’m going to have enough external pressure to write essays when I return to uni in September, why on earth am I wasting time putting it on myself? When just posting photosets of my favourite looks is not only actually enjoyable for me but is also what other people WANT to see too? Nobody wants to read a self-indulgent paragraph like this when they’re here for the clothes and to be honest, for the most part I don’t want to write them anyway unless it’s something I have strong feelings about or if a collection can only be properly appreciated with analysis. I think I’ve made pretty clear which designers I’m a fan of, do you really need to hear me raving about Gucci or Zimmerman or Miu Miu or Balenciaga again? Is there gonna be anything revolutionary in yet another rant about Maria Grazia? Course not. I mean, if you are reading, you might have to witness those things one last time because I do intend to finish off this season’s review in this format for consistency purposes and because I’ve already got all the notes now but on the whole, I doubt anyone will miss my rambles.

So, with all that in mind, I think after I finish my S/S21 posts I am gonna start just uploading these posts without the written part. I mean, for one, the simplicity of doing this means I’m much less likely to procrastinate making them which in turn means I’ll be able to get them out right after the shows as a kind of summary as opposed to months later when they’re no longer as relevant. This will also give me more time to work on the writing I actually enjoy. Right now I’m going through and editing my 17 year old self’s “grown-up” take on the Pretty Little Liars blackmail murder mystery style plot line which I wrote back when I was completely and utterly obsessed with the show and bitterly disappointed by the last couple of seasons. The writing is pretty mediocre and often hugely cringey to read back now but I am still a fan of the basic plot and I’m genuinely motivated to see if I can make it something actually worth reading, and to get onto that ASAP; this feels especially important right now given that the HBO version of the series’ apparent upcoming release has sent that ever-present writer’s fear of seeing-your-same-storyline-done-better-by-somebody-else-thus-forever-relegating-your-version-to-being-the-poor-imitation-so-you-gotta-get-there-first into overdrive (or maybe that’s just me and my neuroses). Again, it’s a totally unfounded fear based on the fact that the HBO show will probs get millions of viewers whilst I will be doing little more than shouting into the void but anybody who’s used Turnitin to submit an essay that ultimately counts for little more than like 1% of your grade or degree will know that no matter how irrelevant your work is, the concept of failing a plagiarism check, be it via a computer algorithm or one random stranger on the internet’s assessment, is enough to conjure visions of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse galloping towards you screaming “START THE WHOLE THING AGAIN” before releasing a hoarde of 2015 Chanel vs. Walmart style comparison memes.

Now, speaking of Chanel, I should probably get back into the reviewing.

So for the last time for a little while, here’s Christian Siriano:

Siriano’s designs are a great example of work I feel guilty enjoying. I know that when it comes to quality, the high fashion community have a lot of (negative) things to say and I really can’t speak to that because quite honestly, I know very little about textile manufacturing. Solely from my own point of view though, I do like his work a lot. I wouldn’t claim for a minute that he’s a pioneer in terms of his creations but I would 100% love to wear them and I DO hugely admire his commitment to putting women of all sizes on the runway and designing pieces that don’t simply cater to straight up and down types which is more than can be said for most brands. I get that his collections are pretty formulaic, taking what has worked for the likes of Chanel and Alessandra Rich, De La Renta and Carolina Herrera, Michael Kors too (who is kind of guilty of the same thing himself), but that’s not to say his work is bad. Let’s be real, we’ve been on this planet thousands of years, we’re all taking inspiration from someone, and maybe figures like Kors and Siriano could wait a *little* longer before taking said inspiration but their aim at the end of the day is to sell clothes, not break barriers, a task which although often left to the big name brands, they too often fail at. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling this whimsical mid-century tea party vibe, it’s elegant and it’s cutesy and My Fair Lady-esque, and you bet your arse I would be absolutely thrilled to wear one of these looks on a summer red carpet. I just can’t say no to anything tulle-maybe it’s that I was on Toddlers & Tiaras in a past life or maybe it’s that I watched too many Barbie Princess films growing up, but I like pretty much everything going on here, especially Siriano is giving us matching fedoras too. Plus, can we take a moment to praise Siriano for his COVID relief efforts? Near the beginning of the pandemic, he turned his studio into a mask manufacturing factory in order to send them out as donations, and I think that is very cool.

Then there’s Christopher Kane who once again came through with the most insanely gorgeous prints:

I mean, paint splattering is hardly a new technique but I haven’t seen it done as a print so tastefully before-it eats the Moschino biro scribble print (which apparently was copied too speaking of the tendencies of designers to “borrow” inspiration) for breakfast. It’s shit because there weren’t many looks in this collection and they weren’t really shot in a way that does them any justice but I thought I’d include the few I saved.

Comme Des Garcons is a fave of the high fashion community and one I look forward to seeing at fashion week but can never quite get behind. I appreciate the what-the-fuckery of it all with this show totally being able to pass as a run-through of some kind of nuclear waste themed scare house at one of Thorpe Park’s fright nights. I assume given that and the plastic Mickey Mouse print it’s supposed to be some kind of reference to the part late-stage capitalism has played in the hellish landscape we find ourselves in today? Or something all intellectual? In which case I made my interpretation with farrrr too much confidence. But Anyway! Who knows! I’ll leave the analysis to the fashion students, and give it one word: trippy.

Onto Dion Lee, a brand I truly do get excited to talk about because it’s rare that I don’t LOVE his work.

Without fail, Lee manages to be confidently ahead of the curve without going out of his way to announce it and his genius to everyone with flamboyant shows and exaggerated designs and extortionate prices. He is very much an underdog in the fashion world in terms of big names but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t love his collections. His S/S21 collection is one of my favourites of the bunch. I love seeing something I’ve never seen before and the palm leaf breast plate is so odd but so cool and so perfectly Dion Lee at the same time; we’ve seen jungle/tropical inspired collections sooo many times *cough cough D&G cough cough* and THIS is how you make them fresh and unique. I mean, never in a million years did I think I’d get behind the resurgence of the gladiator sandal trend but Lee has me changing my mind. This is one of the very rare times you will ever see me using this meme to praise a man but:

I mean, he has Fernanda Ly modelling for him, that the man has taste goes without saying.

Now for a bit of a full circle moment, given that I did actually praise Dior’s haute couture collection in my first ever post; Maria Grazia did GOOD. Well, with haute couture at least.

She’s always pretty hamfisted with her references, there’s no denying, with that Grecian Goddess style RTW collection typifying that statement completely, but luckily she struck gold this time round; as someone who studied the Tudors for A-level history, seeing a modern take on the exaggeratedly feminine renaissance silhouettes with the baroque prints and the deep jewell tones got me super excited especially when you throw in the dreamy tarot theming and the nods to the mystical and arcane. Seeing as the Heavenly Bodies Met Gala (I know, I know, I need to move on) was some time ago now and Cersei Lannister’s *SPOILER* been crushed by a rock (could also be seen as a metaphor for the irrelevancy David Benioff and D.B Wise condemned GoT to when they aired that shitty ending tehe) and so probably won’t be getting a collection based on her costumes any time soon, this is the only fashion take on this kind of period dress I’m going to get…and you know what? I’m okay with that. Thanks Maria, I guess?

Her RTW collection wasn’t absolutely awful either, and slightly better than the past few collections at least. Put a monkey in a room with a typewriter (or show it enough similar well-received collections) and it will eventually write something that makes sense, don’t they say? I like the nomadic feel of a lot of the looks and there’s beautiful layering going on but the aura of exotic opulence unsurprisingly didn’t stick around for long and I found that there was a decline in quality in the midsection of the show that landed a lot of the outfits in either awkward mother of the bride at a beach wedding or The Only Way is Essex Ocean Beach PLT sponsored poolside party territory. The looks picked back up a bit towards the end stretch of the show but I wasn’t a fan of the Gucci style oversized glasses which were so out of place with the rest of the theming that if anything they seemed like a cheap grab at relevancy. So yeah, a middling, subpar Etro-esque collection which is better than usual for Dior I suppose.

Next, Elie Saab, whose S/S21 collection was kinda disappointing, tbh. Oh how the turns have tabled given that positive Dior review and my usual love of Saab’s collections.

I know his dresses lose some of their appeal when we can’t see them in motion but even ON the runway I can’t see myself being dazzled by any of these pieces the way I usually am. They’re lacking the level of detail and craftsmanship I associate with the brand seemingly in favour of block colours and suits and the issue is that the whole Disney Princess fantasy has always been the appeal for me because the silhouettes aren’t interesting enough on their own. They’re not ugly pieces, they’re nice, but does nice really have a place in high fashion when the pieces are so basic in both their design and presentation that the shots could pass as ripped from a catalogue? The strongest parts of the collection were when it did go down the more delicate route with the muted blue suits and the white feather trimmed dresses, the small, ornamental gold details reminding me of a very toned down nod to Schiaparelli’s hardware, but with regards to the bright coloured pieces, I can’t lie-they did look like something you could find in the M&S Per Una holiday section. Then you’ve got the weakest parts, which were just flat out ugly: sheer giraffe print, sweat band style elasticated waits, and long chiffon shirts that I hate to admit read as frumpy. There are times where I’ve not been particularly excited by an Elie Saab collection in the past, but I do think this is the first time I’ve actively disliked parts of it.

Conversely, Erdem’s S/S21 collection was super strong, and solidified the brand’s place in my mind as a dependable source of kooky maximalism, this time round giving us Anya Taylor Joy’s Emma wardrobe on speed. You could tell me Erdem Moralıoğlu had just raided the Bridgerton set’s fitting rooms and put it on a runway and I would 100% believe you and I mean that in a positive way because to give my unpopular opinion, the clothes were the only good thing about that show. The endearingly florid details of exaggerated bows and clashing florals were still there but this time in a way that felt more subtle and self-assured, as if the calming influence of the wooded set’d had a direct hand in the designs, giving the rugged, ethereal feel to the collection I associate with brands like Brock and Simone Rocha, all whilst keeping the parts of Erdem I’m so fond of.

Is it really much of a shock that I included pretty much every look from the Etro S/S21 show? Like, you know that Christian idea of God, like, (the voice in my head is very much taking on the dumb valley girl voice that anybody who reads this is most probably getting too) knowing our souls? I think Veronica Etro knows mine. So no, no surprise. Though there were a few unconventional touches thrown into these looks (the campier prints and nautical theming we see with the 80s beach towel print, for example, reminded me a bit of Versace) the mystical bohemian it girl that Etro designs for would still be highly satisfied. Sure, it might be a wardrobe fit for a holiday less adventurous than backpacking but if she wanted a tropical poolside holiday, this collection is the one, the paisley print chiffon mini and maxi dresses especially. I’m just gonna pretend I don’t see the monstrosity that is leggings worn as trousers-it’s a fashion rule I refuse to abandon-because they are the only stain on an otherwise expectedly gorgeous collection.

Next, an unusually reserved RTW collection from Fendi:

More in line with the wardrobe of a European fashion editor than the glamorous trophy wife (who let’s say uses that facade as a guise to ruthlessly run her husband’s whole business empire from behind the scenes because in this house we do complex female characters only), these pieces are lot “smarter” and more professional looking than Fendi’s typical offerings; where I feel Fendi usually designs for the society girl who wouldn’t mind a front page scandal, these are the kind of outfits a young member of Monaco’s royal family would wear for a positively received but business-as-usual press tour. I know, Fendi is an Italian brand, but this is more Southern France to me. We’re talking some 2nd page shots of a Kate Middleton type on a yacht on the Riviera smiling and waving as her PR team’s ideal scenario. Still, whilst fewer exaggerated silhouettes, animal prints and overtly luxurious fabrics (real leathers, silks and furs for example) mean that the drama’s a little toned down, it’s all still very expensive looking and combines the classically feminine glamour of the past and the minimalism of modernity in the artful manner that we’re used to. Maybe it’s me being a basic bitch but I always love seeing Ashley Graham on the runway too, even if brands to tend to use her as their single token plus size model.

Kim Jones’ debut haute couture collection for Fendi, however, wasn’t a very well received one. I don’t hate it personally but I can see where the criticisms are coming from. Whilst it’s closer to the version of Fendi I’ve come to expect and there were some stunning pieces which completely encapsulated that distinctive aura of luxe and glamour, there were quite a few lazy pieces which could’ve been from any designer. I also felt the collection was a bit upstaged by what seemed to be a who’s who of the modelling world; having Bella, Cara, Kate and Naomi ALL walk in one show was a bit distracting and took the focus off the clothes completely.

Giambattista Valli’s RTW collection was gorgeous as ever; the man has undeniably mastered the art of delivering classic, objective elegance, the kind of designs I feel would make you light on your feet and smell like strawberries and cream the minute you put one on. Whilst as a brand his RTW shows are rarely trendsetting, they reliably produce a plethora of unfailingly graceful and demure pieces, as appealing to your mum and your grandma as they are to young women and little girls, and this collection is another victory lap for Valli when it comes to upholding his signature tea party and artisan cupcake making and rose garden strolling and bottomless rosé brunch appropriate aesthetic. There were a lot of outfits that were bordering on overly juvenile, with structures a little too basic to justify the amount of sequins thrown on, but when it’s good, it’s so sweet that regardless of how to formula it is, I can’t help but fall in love.

Valli’s haute couture collection was stunning too and for sure a more exciting offering than the RTW. There was of course a lot of the signature tulle but it was head-turning, over the top in a way that leant far more towards the experimental than I expected. The photos themselves are 100% believable as a some kind of Vogue behind the scenes editorial shoot on the set of live action Disney princess movie (in between takes of the climactic ball scene if you wanna get specific with the vision); if you are looking for a prettier alternative to the primary colours and disruptive shapes of a Molly Goddard collection, this is the one. It’s giving the themes of excess and abundance I associate with that of the Hunger Games Capitol but through the softer lens of a Sofia Coppola movie, and being the typical cinema loving white girl I am, I’m obviously on board with that vibe.

I did SUCH a 180 on Givency’s S/S21 collection from when I first saw it to writing a review. My initial reaction was one of disappointment, I guess simply because Givenchy has given us so many bold pieces and presentations over the last few years whereas this is more low-key. After properly considering it though as I would any other brand, I came to the conclusion that I do actually really like it. It’s still got the strange, androgynous silhouettes popping up throughout and the futuristic space-age details but with a more down-to-earth, streetwear feel, albeit a very slick, glossy spin on the trends of the rabble (that’s us guys) of course before we go believing it’s achievable. On the one hand, the devil horn accents are a touch Claire’s accessories halloween range but at the same time, done with confidence they’re kind of cool and bring something new and fun to the table in line with the dark theatre of Givenchy’s last few shows.

Now for Gucci, which for the first time I have to say, if I'm attempting objectivity, is not a standout.

Like, can I just start by saying though the format it’s presented in is cute, it’s not ideal as a way of actually showing the collection. I get that the vintage shop bin vibe is a huge part of Gucci’s brand but polaroids make it SO hard to actually see the clothes, and that’s what we’re here for right? I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t like what I see here-the clothes are gorgeous, an idyllic ode to the off-duty wardrobes of Studio 54-ers, bohemian style icons like Charlotte Rampling and young Olivia Newton-John, psychedelic rock guitarists and the inhabitants of San Fransisco’s Haight during the late 60s and early 70s, Alessandro Michele’s favourite period of reference. I can’t pretend otherwise, or act like I wouldn’t want to wear the shit out of this collection. Buut, for Gucci? It’s a little underwhelming. These are the kind of filler looks we get in a typical Gucci show to go alongside the more statement pieces, which this collection is lacking. It’s just that these are designs which usually gets people talking and these pieces don’t do that. It sucks because for most other brands this would be a stand out collection, an immersive, luscious vignette of what people tend to think of as a cultural golden era, but when you’ve had a show that involved models carrying replicas of their own decapitated heads down the runway in the last 5 years, of course something more toned down like this is gonna generate a lot of “is that it?”s.

I owe Hermes an apology. Looking back, I have disliked all their previous collections for the same reason that I now really like this one; maybe it’s in part down to the frustration of still having to whack out the winter coat on occasion in May (fuck British weather and climate change), but suddenly I really appreciate the value of some good quality, versatile outerwear. Hermes is giving us that in spades here and for that, I bow down to them. The pieces on offer are clearly well-made and genuinely practical, and through the minimalist approach manage to retain both an air of timeless sophistication whilst also being youthful and on trend. The leather tactical vest co-ord I can easily see edged up and taking centre stage on one of those insane Seoul street style slow-mo TikToks that were big a couple of months ago and there are several pieces that could tie together a grunge influenced k-style look just as well as they could exist for years on end as the wardrobe staple of a high-powered businesswoman. Designer Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski’s strengths really come through with the simpler looks and it’s the patterned pieces that drag down an otherwise flawless collection; I guess because the aesthetic is very minimalist, the patterns can’t be anything overly decorative but unfortunately this has a bit of a dowdy effect when you pair it with such modest silhouettes. Disregarding those elements of the collection though, it was super good.

It goes without saying that Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture collection was breathtaking; if the fashion community can agree on anything, it’s that this woman’s work is consistently awe-inspiring. She captures the wonder of the universe, the biological structures and kaleidoscopic colours we don’t even register, through fashion in a way that others can only imitate, to mesmerising, truly transcendent effect; I can only assume Van Herpen has mother nature whispering into her ear because how the hell else do you explain her ability to take the kind of microscopic organisms they show you images of in an outdated GCSE science powerpoint and make a dress that resembles one so stunning? Care to explain, Iris? Because if there is some kind of line of communication between the two of you can you please tell the bitch I’m over this weather and that I have cute summer outfits I’m waiting to wear so can she pack this torrential rain shit in? K, thanks xoxo

See it seems shady as fuck to go from IVH to Isabel Marant like this because we are talking 2 designers with totallyyyy different approaches to fashion; Iris Van Herpen is haute couture for starters whereas Marant is commercial, and that’s her thing, but unfair comparisons aside this collection is still a bit of a let down. This is considering I do usually really like Isabel Marant collections based on whether or not I’d wear the pieces, which seems a more appropriate barometer to use to come to a quality verdict. Whilst there were a few of the elegant bohemian pieces my mind goes to when it comes to her brand, the steps outside of that comfort zone didn’t pay off; graffiti print (can be cool if done with some subtlety which apart from a few exceptions was not the case here), cheap looking reflective fabric, and MC Hammer style dungarees, it seems to be an attempt to merge 80s trends with modern urban culture, and an attempt that at times verged on the disastrous. It’s good for a brand to experiment, of course, and appeal to a wider client base than usual, but when it’s bad the unfortunate take away is that the design team don’t have the chops to pull off straying from familiar territory; designers wouldn’t be showing at fashion week if this was truly the case because disregarding the influence of nepotism, fashion is an area you need real talent, perseverance and business smarts to excel in, and so it doesn’t do a team justice when they do fail.

J.W Anderson, on the other hand, really put his best foot forward this season and presented this work in a really cool way too which only added to the positives; whilst the way the shots were edited was funky af, it didn’t detract from the actual outfits, and if we are to see the same limitations when it comes to the F/W collections being released, this is something a lot of designers and editing teams should take note of. The idiosyncratic exaggerated shapes that we see as a recurring feature of Anderon’s collections were still on show but this time round with added femininity, billowing skirts and trailing jewellery that channel the stage looks of Stevie Nicks in a way that’s modern and functional and maybe even fit for the office if you were to work in a more creative industry with a chill boss. Could also work for a coven of witches who practice meditation by bonfires in the moonlight and burn the letters of men who wronged them in some Arizonian desert, so like I said, functional! Who doesn’t like versatility? The only thing I’m not too keen on is the shoes but they’re not so bad that it affects my opinion of the collection and they look comfy I guess.

Lastly, we’ve got to talk about Jacquemus, one of the most influential names in fashion at the moment. And yes, this time round, I’m doing it: I’m buying into the hype.

This collection is gorgeousss! I can see already that a lot of the recurring elements of the show are going to be big summer trends for this year (the cut outs and strappy details on the blouses are everywhere already) even though it isn’t hot enough to have collectively decided the time to start dressing for heat is upon us yet, and that’s always a good indicator of how successful the designer was in their vision and attempts to assess the needs and wants of fashion enthusiasts; whether I’m as big a fan of his work as everyone else seems to be, there’s no denying Simon Porte Jacquemus has always excelled at this practice if the buzz around him is anything to go by. It makes sense given the last year of us all being stuck in and suppressed that a lot of us are already romanticising the summer ahead, anticipating picnics and beach days and general Theresa May running through wheat fields type shenanigans galore, in spite of how dubious an assumption it is to make that British weather will allow for this; Porte Jacquemus has very much catered to this wishful thinking and the popularity of the whole escapist “cottage core” aesthetic, sexing it up a little bit with pieces that hug the body in ways only Mugler knows how whilst being lightweight and relaxed enough to look good with windswept, sandy hair and a little dose of sunburn. I’m talking enough to give you some cutesy freckles and rosy cheeks not PSA on the importance of suncream territory, guys, what is it with those of us on the gen Z/millennial cusp not taking sun damage seriously!? Why do I have to beg so many of my friends to wear it!? Does nobody else remember those photos they’d show you in PSHE in English primary schools of burnt people’s skin under UV lights? Or is that just me being weird and only having such a vivid memory of the images because teachers told us we had to wait until year 6 to see them due they to their “graphic” nature only for my gore-loving self to be extremely underwhelmed when we finally did get that lesson? They showed us a woman giving birth in year 4 for fuck’s sake. THAT was traumatising.

Back to the actual point anyway, with just a couple of negatives, the first of which being that the pieces are very similar to those feminine looks we saw dotted about the Jacquemus menswear collection from last year that were all over fashion Twitter. In Simon Porte Jacquemus’ defence though, it makes sense that those tones and silhouettes would be revisited in a full womenswear collection for that very reason; considering they went down so well and that lockdown gave us a bit of a half-baked summer in 2020, expanding on those elements enough for a whole new collection makes good business sense. We did get some cool additions too, mainly in the form of accessories, with the hardware details on the belts similar to those included in the Givenchy collection and the abstract hair slides being standouts for me. It was all exquisite-the shoes, the jewellery, the styling, everything 10/10. My other nitpick, and I say nitpick not because it’s not important but because it’s an issue that’s hardly restricted to Jacquemus (this casting team are far from the worst offenders, Saint Laurent I’m looking at you), is that I WISH we’d see more diversity with the models. Despite what my body dysmorphia yells at me, I am small, and yet seeing all those fucking minuscule waists made me die a little inside; it’s crazy to me that in 2020 the lack of variety in body types on the runway is still such a problem.

I must have said this a million times but I don’t want to end on a negative note so let me reiterate: this collection was STUN. NING. Plus there were some others I’ve talked about in this post that I’m sure will make it into my top 20 in the final part, Jacquemus, Dion Lee and Etro for sure; we even got some gorgeous pieces from Maria Grazia which I thought was a sentence I’d never type out. Have I said enough to not leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who read to the end of this post? I hope so, lol! TBH, it’s impressive given everything that’s going on that the majority of designers did roll out collections in September as usual so serious respect to them and their design teams for that.

In the next post, I’ll fingers crossed be able to include everything from Kim Shui (exciting!) through to at least Off-White (actually pretty good this time?!) and make this whole thing a 4 parter before getting straight on top of the photo posts I’m thinking about doing for the time being for the F/W21 shows. So as usual, if you did read to the end thank you so much and I respect the perseverance you must have to get through all my rambling, lmao. Hope everyone is well and coping okay and again, my inbox is always open for any post suggestions, constructive criticism, or just a chat for anyone who needs a listening ear.

Big love and thank you again!

Lauren x

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stellacarrierimaginationbuilders · 4 years

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Career and Money Celestial Spirit Guide Organo

Start time by 1209 am Thursday January 2, 2020

Completion time 234 am Thursday January 2 2020

Please Note that while Spirit Guide Themed this writing is Creative Fiction and a creative writing therapy channel for my writing passions that I intend to creatively create and uplift at least 3 times a week andor at least 3 times a month and independent of gratitude for the blessings and expanding opportunities for increasing my intuition self confidence and wisdom in both my personal and professional life. In order for me to fulfill my intent to spend more time with my angelic husband, I am most likely going to aim for Fridays andor Saturdays most weeks to do these types of stories in order to also free up more time for me to complete and do other things in both my personal and professional life that I intuitively and logically understand must get done andor looked into. This schedule might only be every week, every other week andor once every 3 weeks, it depends on multiple factors in my personal and professional/career/employment life that I prefer to allow myself to be currently discreet andor secretive about for good and justifiable reasons. Some times that I might alter this schedule andor write and post these types of stories to my wordpress andor tumblr account more frequently are during the upcoming months of November 2019 December 2019,January 2020, andor April 2020.

Greetings my alias name is Organo in the year 2104. I Organo am using an alias name to protect both my surviving family members and friends residing across parts of Maryland, Virginia, and Washington D.C., I am also protecting over 100 earth based men and women from the ages of 23 to 79 who I Organo am helping in career and money matters via as a helper to the spirit guides. I Organo have been told that I resemble in physical appearance one of the band members from the 2010s era The Wanted. During my most recent earth lifetime, I Organo made at least ten thousand dollars a month after taxes because I was in high demand as a professional organizer, feng shui consultant, and I also wrote some non fiction and fiction stories on the side. One of my non fiction books that sold over 5 million copies across America, various parts of Europe, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Asia, Africa, The Middle East involved the organization and cleaning of a home or apartment to achieve intended body and fitness goals, career and money goals that was something different from feng shui details that were channeled from my higher self and spirit guides living in a celestial realm that they explained was different from what a typical heavenly realm would be like, more like an Earth 2 that is similar in details to earth though with a lifestyle that allows a spirit to live like they won a cosmic lottery with spiritual and occupational pursuits some available on earth and others that are yet to be available on earth. For instance, one of the celestial spirit guide helper roles involves being a hybrid celestial librarian and a author muse to at least one of two earth based authors on a weekly basis in earth time (both non fiction genres and fiction genres). This role is a full time role that many celestial spirits of earth 2 elect to do for fun and spiritual growth though this is also done on a rotation basis to give even celestial spirits some time to rest recharge and gather information for their next hybrid celestial librarian muse author assignment . The best way I can describe this in human terms is if the actress who played a muse in the Muse movie is promoted in the afterlife to a celestial occupational assignment in the role of working from one of the many heavenly celestial libraries available as a hybrid celestial muse celestial librarian though she fortunately has the help of over thousands of other hybrid celestial muse celestial librarians for both ideas to perfect her research and training both for the benefit of her spiritual advancement/celestial promotion and for the also the spiritual advancement/increase in creativity for the multiple earth based men and women she agrees to help.

Anyhow, I Organo was given a chance to reside in Earth 2 to be helpers to the spirit guides who helped me write the book that I told you about and I agreed to reside there a year from now and currently I Organo have homes in the celestial realms of Maryland, Virginia, and Washington D.C. both to train for the hybrid celestial librarian muse author role and to do the role I am about to share with you. I am utilizing some of the information from the best selling book from my most recent current earth lifetime that involves a man, woman, or couple choosing the best apartment, home andor other type of living situation to create their ideal career, money, and other type of goals. Then I utilize the information given to me from my celestial mentors to also explain why being self confident and willing to donate sell give away andor release items in a living space makes space to receive even better than what one was initially hesitant to release sell donate giveaway etc.

For instance, currently I Organo am helping married men and married women from the ages of 23 to 79 who underwent tubal ligation surgery or vasectomies (obviously depending on the gender) and men and women who are parents (both married and those who are either bachelors or bachelorettes depending on their gender)who are going to be interacting with these men and women who are voluntarily child-free (though the common denominator of their links are going to be destiny linked). However, because there is a stigma around women and women who voluntarily choose to be child-free I Organo am going to work with them to build up their intuition to link them (the voluntarily child free men and women) with parents who are open-minded about married andor bachelor bachelorette men and women who had tubal ligation surgery or vasectomies depending on income.

For instance, it is common knowledge that a person whether man or woman or regardless of marital status bachelor status bachelorette status must develop and grow a thick skin spiritually to thrive because there is still going to be different judgments on men and women who willingly go against the norm to strive in their careers secretly hoping others look past their unconventional reproductive decisions. This is where I Organo come in to help career and money goals eventually materialize andor come true within 2 years andor less.

For instance, one of the sleeptime dreams of a man I Organo was helping I Organo showed him a potential future where he was a psychic development teacher to kids who now reside in public schools from the time they are 5 until they are 18 years old, dorm rooms are built into a multiple number of these public schools by the year 2100 and I Organo show one of the men that I am helping that the hospital where he had his vasectomy is also building a public school middle school with a dorm room to train future doctors and nurses and part of the reason why his vasectomy was allowed at this hospital and life plan life purpose was because part of his life purpose involves helping to make these new dorm rooms ready for the children attending and living in these schools overnight and he happened to be referred to this type of work through a doctor and nurse who were friends with this man.

One night later, I Organo gave a female who had a tubal ligation in her real life a dream involving a train station in a location currently a mystery even to her. However, the train station symbolizes being near the location where they are building a public school middle school and high school with overnight dorm rooms for the kids, no she is not meant to be an educator in the traditional sense in this school rather some other type of work that is currently being kept a mystery to even her until the right time until her spirit guide directs me to communicate to her higher self through her intuition. Though I Organo am allowed to say that by the year 2300 andor sooner many public schools that are grades first grade to high school are going to have overnight dorms lodging and part of the life purpose of the voluntarily child-free men and women that had sterilization surgeries done and would pass background checks would be assistants andor helpers in these schools andor liaison for the parents. For instance, a man who had a vasectomy done even at a young age might be an on call maintenance worker andor other type of helper to a parent who might want to come by to visit the their kid to at least see if they are ok andor if they might need the male helper to haul a specialized bed or luggage the parent is bringing to the child’s room. A female who had the tubal ligation surgery might be on call to ensure snacks are in the child’s overnight room before she goes home andor checks with the parent of the child to see if any special diet requests are given for the next day etc. This type of public school service/nanny service is going to be available to all families regardless of income by the year 2279.

Anyhow, I Organo am required to help men and women who had these sterilization surgeries who are also intuitively aware especially the women that they have to take more serious measures to be more prosperous providers to their husbands or wives (depending on the gender of course and sexual orientation). Anyhow, often times I Organo am called to give intuitive guidance in the way of fixing andor organizing a person’s living space because this is often an important key in their manifestation goals, some of the ideas that I Organo might communicate to them via their intuition andor other ways

If on a staycation or vacation-it would be helpful for a person to schedule 4 or 5 days to where their days are heavily involved with organizing andor heavy cleaning their living space in addition to wisely considering what to keep sell donate release andor give away, the more the place looks inspection ready the better and clearer a person’s intuition can come through for vital career and money goals, fitness goals etc. For instance one of the women that I Organo am helping followed this one idea and ensured that her place looked immaculate to where she would be proud to show an in-law to her spouse less than 2 months after she did this, she unexpectedly became 30 pounds thinner in 2 and a half months when this would usually take 3 times as longer and she unexpectedly received a 1000 dollar check in the mail for certain legal services rendered that I organo must keep secret for now

A celestial spirit guide helped me transcribe the message in my best selling book that a person needing encouragement would benefit from intuitively understand that whatever is released donated sold given away andor release, that person is going to get even more over 7 times more spiritually in exchange, the timelime when they happens may differ though it does happen and usually during a person’s lifetime. For instance, an earth based person that I Organo helped schedule a 4 day staycation organizing and cleaning schedule received a year round job opportunity doubling her after tax monthly pay within 8 months after she finally released sold donated organized and gave away a significant percentage of items that she originally had

The creative fiction story Julia Christian Volunteer Recruiter Creative Fiction Story involved a character who is in charge of placing men and women in certain year round jobs and year round volunteer roles that guarantee certain timeframe contracts similar to the military, what this has to with the men and women I Organo am helping with their living areas-homes or apartments is that I have them write or draw what their ideal 4 or 6 year guaranteed job andor volunteer contracts might look like either in a notebook andor post this somewhere on their fridge or wall where they live. 3 men and 4 women I Organo have helped so far with this within 8 months after they did this in conjunction with them organizing, releasing, donating, selling, andor giveaway at least 50 percent of their items half of them were offered year round jobs roles that paid them at least twice what they current made and the other half were given legal money opportunities that quadrupled their savings goals which also gave them more freedom and options in hiring career and money mentors to elevate them further. I Organo want to say more though one of my celestial spirit guides is giving me in flash cards an American born 20 something child-free female who just had the tubal ligation surgery done and an American born 30 something child free female who just had the tubal ligation surgery done, both of them have a professional destiny involved with men who already have children though only one of the men has voluntarily had vasectomy surgery which is why I Organo must close the session, the sensitive nature involved with even what I am sharing even with keeping identities secret.

Resources

Julia Christian Volunteer Recruiter Creative Fiction Story from April1 2019 from the stellacarriergoogleplustowordpress blog

I confess that this creative song Magic by The Cars started to resonate with my music listening soul by the summer 2017 timeframe after hearing it enough times via iheartradio. There is something special about this song that has some type of influence on why I still enjoy this song more and more each time I hear it as I currently type this January 2020. Magic by the Cars youtube music video

This exciting song that is I’m Glad You Came by the Wanted has a summery vibe to it, though this is also the type of pop dance song to enjoy year round. I am lucky to have unexpectedly heard this song from both online and from one of the local Washington DC metro area radio stations by the 2012 timeframe, this song is even more amusing to listen to in 2020 and I’m glad that this song is still available to easily listen to online. The Wanted Glad You Came Youtube music video

This entertaining song that is What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction is also another summery/cheery vibe song that I fortunately first heard by around the 2012 timeframe via both online and local Washington DC metro area radio formats. However, even with the spring/summer vibe of this song, this is another song that can be enjoyed year round and I can tell from being among this channel I am one of many people who still enjoy this song in 2020. One Direction Youtube music channel

Planned Parenthood tubal ligation info website-I am fortunate to have received the opportunity to have the tubal ligation procedure performed on me by the April 2004 timeframe from a San Diego California area Planned Parenthood affiliated hospital. Yes, fortunately my husband was ultra supportive of me having this procedure done even with the fact that we had just gotten married that same year (January 22, 2004). Please understand that I have an open mind and understanding about parents and children. However, I feel that the tubal ligation surgery was the wisest choice for me to make even when I was making good money in the navy. The Planned Parenthood affiliated medical providers generously worked with my military income situation to charge me just 1500 dollars which was a good deal considering how well the tubal ligation surgery/female sterilization surgery worked for me. I also intuitively understand that I was among one of the luckier females to have the surgery done having chose to receive the tubal ligation surgery in California, however because many women even in America are often judged for being voluntarily child-free even when nice andor considerate to others, I understand that I must be wise and careful when and where I admit this to other men and women in both my personal and professional life who may have yet to understand why I would willingly have a tubal ligation surgery when there are many people who would spent lots of money to be able to do naturally what I had surgery done to ensure female sterilization for my body.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/sterilization/how-do-i-get-tubal-ligation-procedure

In regards to the youtube video of Tubal Ligation Surgery via Nucleus Media-I feel that this important video on tubal ligation surgery opens up an important dialogue on the right for females 18 and over to know about contraceptive choices available to them. I am fortunate/lucky to have been approved to have the tubal ligation surgery performed on me when I was 23 years old (by the April 2004 timeframe) at a Planned Parenthood affiliated hospital in San Diego California. I was in the U.S. navy during this time and some of the medical professionals generously worked with me to give me a reasonable price to pay in line with what my enlisted navy pay was during that time. Fortunately my husband was supportive of me having the tubal ligation surgery (we have fortunately luckily celebrate our 16 year wedding anniversary on January 22 2020). The tubal ligation female sterilization surgery was worth it to me, however what both my logic and intuition are influencing me to share is to please allow yourself to be discreet/secretive when necessary when it comes to who you tell in your personal and professional life that you had the surgery. I am fortunate that a multiple number of my coworkers including the supervisor who knew why I needed the time off for the surgery were open minded and understanding about my decision. However, even in California and especially when I relocated to the east coast I obviously learned that there are going to be people who surprise you who far from agree with your decision to be voluntarily child-free even if for good reasons much less getting the surgery, however I was pleasantly surprised at some of the people in my personal and professional life who were supportive. For instance, at times I came across people who were already parents who completely understood my decision to live a voluntarily child-free lifestyle (though I admit my memory is far from clear if I divulged my tubal ligation surgery to all who seemed supportive). My point-regardless of how concerned you are about how you might be perceived,even if you are in your 20s and you are certain about having the tubal ligation surgery go ahead with looking into having it done if you can find a healthcare professional/healthcare professionals who are willing to approve for you to have it done even if you have to ask multiple people to get approved. I say this from experience because I initially tried to go to one of the navy doctors in California to have the surgery and I can tell that I had to find another way to obtain the tubal ligation surgery when I instinctively picked up from him that he had certain reservations because of me being very young at the time and his views on child-free women asking for the female sterilization surgery. Fortunately, I unexpectedly ran into a mother on that same day who helpfully recommended/encouraged me to seek out another opinion since I was in California because she gave me a honest heads up that me getting approved to have tubal ligation surgery done on the east coast might be a different situation. I’m glad that I took her advice and obtained approval to have the tubal surgery done once I sought a second opinion. To this day, over 15 years later I know that I made the best decision for me to have the tubal ligation surgery though I understand that for each person viewing this comment it may be far from an easy answer who to turn to for the tubal ligation surgery depending on where a person lives/resides.

Tubal Ligation Covenant Health-I voluntarily had the tubal ligation surgery by April 2004 via a San Diego California Planned Parenthood clinic. The healthcare providers chose a reasonable price for me to pay for the surgery in line with my military pay (I was working in navy aviation logistics during that time). I was fortunate to have someone accompany me for the surgery and the tubal ligation surgery went well (I had it performed on me during the day and I was even able to easily be up and about eating a nice dinner at the Olive Garden later on during the day). My husband expressed helpful support at me having the surgery and we fortunately are going to be celebrating our 16 year wedding anniversary January 22 2020.

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beckettsthoughts · 7 years

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11 Questions

RULES Always post the rules Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you Write 11 questions of your own Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

I was tagged by @shark-myths, who is an absolute gem for always tagging me in these because I love them so much! Honestly, I never used to get this kind of thing but it makes me smile every time I see one in my notifications. Thank you!

1. What is one thing you always want people to ask you?

Anything about any of my special interests, or anything about any of my hyperfixations. So, any Fall Out Boy questions, any creative writing questions, any natural phenomena questions, any Pokemon questions. Anything about autism and ADHD is also welcome. I just really like answering questions and infodumping about my favourite things, which is probably obvious at this point.

2. What is one thing you hate to be asked?

“But how are you going to survive on your own?”

It’s really condescending and it always comes from within my own family, which hurts.

3. What three words would you use to describe yourself?

Creative, anxious, and ambitious.

4. What three words would someone else use to describe you?

I asked my best friend but he couldn’t narrow it down, so then I turned to Tumblr and a lovely mutual gave the answer “cool, stylish and kind” which made me blush a lot, it was sweet as heck. I also got “young, cool and hip” from another mutual of mine, which I love.

5. What is the thing you’re looking forward to most in the next month?

I have my best friends’ prom coming up soon! I’m really looking forward to it, especially after my own prom. I don’t know many people from his school but the few I am friends with will also be there, it sounds like it’s going to be a fantastic night. There are other things I’m looking forward to, such as going on holiday and taking part in Camp NaNoWriMo, and likely several other events will come up that I’m not even aware of yet.

6. Have you ever cast a spell? Has it worked?

I am a wicked non-believer, meaning I’ve never tried. I don’t think I’d be very good at it. However, I do have a friend who was raised Wiccan and once cursed a bracelet before giving it to her mean aunt as a birthday present, which is a hell of a good story.

7. If you could be any type of monster, what you be?

Something that lurks in the forest. An urban legend, a creature that makes it’s home in the bedtime stories used to warn children from straying too far. In reality, a guardian of the fae realm with no malevolent intentions, but when seen through the sea-fog it could be easily mistaken for something far darker.

Aesthetically, something bipedal but somehow animalistic. Perhaps birdlike, perhaps feline. I imagine it to look like something from the world of Spirited Away.

8. What’s the last song you sang?

It was Champion, okay? It’s been stuck in head since the day it released. I’ve also recently sung a few songs from new Paramore album while I was making my lunch, and hummed some KT Tunstall as I wandering round the supermarket. I sing a lot, and like, every day.

(Actually, between writing this and posting this, it is now Paramore’s Pool, but there were tracks from Soul Punk in between and several indie songs about Los Angeles. I told you I sing a lot.)

9. What is the best thing that happened to you today?

I got a new fidget spinner and it’s beautiful! I’m really happy because it’s usually so hard to get good quality stim toys and I used to have to get them off Amazon, but a local shop now stocks a whole range and you can try and test them before you get one so you can see which you like and how comfortable it is. They have other stim toys too now and they donate a percentage of the cost to a local autism charity, and in general I just love everything about this development. It really made my day, man, and they even have signs educating people about the purpose and use of stim toys. I got to speak to the owner and he was telling us about the advantages of different shapes of spinners, and honestly it felt so refreshing to have an honest conversation about stimming with a neurotypical and have it be something valuable and cool to discuss rather than being mocked for it. There are pros and cons to this trend, of course, but this is a huge advantage to me that I could not have anticipated in a thousand years.

10. Where do you wish to be right now?

Paris! Which is nice, because I will be there in a couple of weeks. I can’t wait to walk those streets again; visit the bookshops and the boulangeries, the papeteries and patisseries. Paris is by far the most beautiful city I have ever visited, and one of the most interesting. At our hotel you can take the rickety old lift up to the roof and look out across the whole city at night, see the Eiffel Tower to the south and the Sacre-Coeur to the north, both grandly lit and standing tall amongst the apartments of their respective arrondissements. I left a piece of my heart in Paris, I believe.

11. Answer either 1 or 2.

So the answer to the question I hate being asked is this: I can cook, I can clean, I can manage money and I can talk to people. There are many things I can’t do, off the top of my head, but I can use Google to cross those bridges when I get to them. Just because I have a neurodevelopmental disability doesn’t mean I’m inept or incapable, it just means that some things are a little bit harder for me than for neurotypical people. If push comes to shove I can always ask for help, which is not the sign of weakness everyone makes it out to be. They always ask the question as if they’re expecting me to survive alone on a desert island with no way to communicate to anyone, when in fact “living independently” means nothing of the sort. Living on a desert island, I probably couldn’t do. Living in student accommodation surrounded by helpful resources and a whole community of people in the same situation, however, doesn’t seem completely inconceivable.

And now, my questions. I tag @skyward-sheik, @toadstoolfuel, @murdereratthematinee, @inadragon, @littleduckalex, @heardyouloudandqueer, @astro-ocean, @mcnamak, @baz-pitch-is-alive and @takeasmiletoday! No pressure if you don’t want to, of course :)

1. Do you remember your dreams? If so, what’s the weirdest dream you can remember?

2. Describe your favourite cinema. Is it nearby, or hard to get to? Why is it better than the others?

3. What was your favourite class in school? In terms of atmosphere, classmates, teacher, anything.

4. What’s one hair colour, piercing or tattoo you’d love to get someday but probably never will?

5. Describe one person who you’d love to be friends with, but only know as an acquaintance through work, school or other friends. What about them makes you want to know them better?

6. What is your personal “white whale”? Something you encountered in the the past and have never been able to find since, no matter how hard you try?

7. What was your favourite movie when you were a child? Does it still hold up now that you’re older?

8. Do you have a favourite ‘local’ food? It could be a local delicacy unique to your town, but it could just be a particular snack from a particular shop. A favourite meal from your favourite restaurant, maybe, because nobody else makes it the same way that they do?

9. Have you ever skipped school or work to hang out with your friends or to go to a particular event?

10. What is something you’d love to collect but haven’t yet?

11. Are you the kind of person who saves tickets from travelling? If not, what’s your favourite type of souvenir to collect?

#ask meme #tag meme #personal #long post

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lowat-golden-tower · 7 years

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youtube

Well, I’m a little late to the party, but I saw these going around and well I was gonna make a big post about @markiplier anyway, so I figured I’d just add on the video that got me into this crazy community of his. XD

Yup. It’s Five Nights at Freddy’s. Way back in 2014, I’d heard about this new horror game that was going viral and getting huge traction on Tumblr and, well, everywhere. But I can’t play horror games. So I figured I’d watch a Let’s Play, like I did for Amnesia with PewDiePie. Unfortunately, he didn’t have one.

But at the top of the search was one by Markiplier, whom I’d seen a couple of times around but never actually looked into. Until now, because I also remembered seeing his name in connection with this game. Surely, his Let’s Play must be great, right? This is the one I should check out. And I did.

And not only did I love the game, but I fell in love with him. I went back and watched some of his other content. First the Let’s Plays, mostly, but then the animations and the livestreams and the vlogs.... I subscribed to him, and I found him growing on me more and more. I won’t hesitate to say he’s currently my favorite YouTuber and YouTube channel- has been for some time now. Part of me wishes I’d given his channel a chance sooner.

But I’m on board now, and boy has it been a wild ride. I’ve met some pretty damn amazing people thanks to this community, thanks to Markiplier. Thanks to Mark. People I’ve clicked with, cried with, laughed with. Met in real life or had calls with or spent hours just talking to about theories and stories and all things Mark.

I’ve written thousands of words about this man, watched hundreds of his videos, scrambled to catch his charity livestreams when I could, donated and purchased his merchandise.... I can’t say that about any other YouTuber I’ve shown interest in. Or, hell, most of the things in general I’ve shown interest in. I can count the number of “fan merchandise” I have on two hands. Three of them are now his.

Not that I’m trying to make things materialistic. As someone who’s really damn frivolous, it just... means a lot. That I’m willing to pinch an extra penny or two to get his hoodie, his pants, his plushes. The fact so much of that money goes to these charities means so much. I’ve never been so... “involved,” for lack of a better term, with anyone like that.

Kind, generous, funny as all hell, temperamental, selfless, emotional.... I always say I resonate with Mark because we’re both Cancers, right at opposite ends of the window. But honestly, he’s just a good person. Not a perfect person, but a good one. One who tries his best, who always perseveres, who follows his dreams, who never forgets us, the little guys, the little YouTubers and all his friends and his family. He loves and cares for all of us, and that just means so much to me. To us.

He probably won’t see this, but that’s okay. And if he does, he’ll probably shrug my words off, like he’s done with everyone else. About him being a hero. About all the hard work he’s done. But I’m still saying it, and my words still stand. Not once have I regretted subscribing to this man, and I don’t plan to end that subscription any time soon.

He’s made me laugh. He’s made me cry. He’s made me shake my head with exasperation and slap my desk with rage, shouting at my screen but only because I care. We all care. We care about him as much as he cares about us, and I hope he can feel that. Feel that from us on this day especially, but also the other days. His down days, his bad days, his apologetic days. We love you, Markiplier. You’re always in our hearts. Keep growing, keep changing, keep improving- but never forget who you are. Because who you are is amazing.

And thank you. For everything. :’)

Happy birthday Markiplier. Happy birthday Mark Fischbach!

#markiplier #well here's my two cents on things #HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!!!!#long post

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demondetoxmanual · 7 years

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This is what it looks like when the #spnfamily is dead set on fulfilling your one and only dream.

On Sept. 21st 2016 I was once again hit with sadness. I cried again and needed to vent. I wrote a post about my feelings and how upset I was that I would never be able to attend a convention with J2 attending. [see post]

A couple hours later my tumblr messenger alerted me of a new message. A message that changed my life.

@ladyroche: “Melanie, I want to help you. Every fan should have the experience and you have many supporters already...” Our conversation(s) went on for hours and, over and over again I explained to her that, if I can’t afford it myself, I have no business going to a convention. Thousands of other fans can’t go because they can’t afford it either, so why should I be given that chance? Why should anyone, but myself, worry about bringing happiness into my life and making sure my dream can come true? Those were just a few of the questions I sent Juli. But no matter how often I said I don’t deserve this and I have zero rights to be granted this one wish, Juli told me... “we [@ladyroche, @lipglosskaz, @electricmonk333] think that, if anyone deserves this, then it’s you. You deserve this and we will get you and your daughter to HousCon.”

I wasn’t convinced... neither of me being deserving of this, nor that anyone would actually be generous enough to support this massive quest. And yet, these three girls proved me wrong. After the first negative reply to Juli’s post, I suggested to call it quits and take the post down. Her answer was short and demanding: “Hells no, we are not taking the post down ever! We are taking you to Houston and placing you in the arms of J2 <3.”

I stayed pessimistic and made sure every donated cent would remain in my PayPal account so I could return it - in case the hate would become too much for me to handle.

Once it all started, Juli kept saying: “It’s happening, baby!” [gleefully quoting Danneel Ackles] - the second my daughter and I were on our way to the airport the quote rang in my ears and I found myself crying tears of utter joy, excitement and anxiety.

By now, most of you have seen the panels on YouTube and gif’ed the hell out of every scene that took place. So, there is not much left to say about that part.

What I do have to say is, that I have never felt so loved as I did during the con-weekend. I was given the opportunity to meet all these amazingly kind and lovely people I’ve only ever seen/talked to on tumblr. Of course, the first person I saw was Kaz ( @lipglosskaz ) - her beautiful smile woke me from a needed nap after arriving at the hotel. After I hugged her silly and spotted Sim ( @electricmonk333 ) at the front desk and patiently waited for her to finish her conversation with the lady there until I could finally throw my arms around her, hugged her long and proper, kissed her head (she’s tiny!) and felt the need to never let go. I’d like to mention again (since some people already did), that the wonderful and very talented Sim won the video contest at HousCon. When they announced the winner, and her name was heard through the speakers I couldn’t believe my ears. I mean, we all crossed our fingers and hoped she would win... but when she actually did I cried so hard I couldn’t calm down for a very long time. Sim walked up the stage to answer a couple of questions about the video and in her speech she mentioned things that just made so happy. I’m very proud of her and happy for her and I... yeah... she was the one who had to calm me down because I was just so damn happy for her winning the contest. I have no idea how, but I managed to record the whole thing - I need to upload it. Or send it to her. It was beautiful. Just like her face. xD

These two cuties, Maja and I got to share a room... best time ever! Because that way I was able to hug them whenever I felt like it. I bet Sim was annoyed with me though. I constantly worried about her... don’t hate me, please. I just love you, Ms. Frosty. Letting Sim go, on Sunday evening, however, was a sad moment. Simply because I’m not sure if it was the last time I’d ever get to see her. Saying goodbye to Kaz was just as sad... even though we didn’t mean to wake her (we had to leave Monday 5am), Maja and I couldn’t help ourselves to give her one last hug and smooches. Let me tell you all a secret: that woman is just as beautiful in the morning w/o make-up as she is all prettied up. Not fair. :P

I love you two with all my heart and I hope that we will meet again. I miss you!

Then Michael (@itsokaysammy) happened and the weekend turned into an emotional hug-fest. I’ve hugged him so many times I lost count. But that’s just what happens with cuties like him. You see ‘em, you hug ‘em, you get addicted. Whenever we saw each other I all but attack-hugged him, there was no escaping each other. I always loved him, but now, where I had the chance to actually see him face to face and talk to him, witness his honest smiles and bubbling with nerves of excitement... I just love him so much. ^-^ *kisses* (I’ll never forget how surprised Sim was when she realized how tall Michael is... xD So cute.) I miss you!

Another victim of my many hugs was the most adorable Kylie ( @sammyhale ). We never really talked on tumblr before. But, once we got to talk for the first time I fell in love with her. She’s so kind and loving and gives amazing hugs. I am beyond happy to have met her and got to spend time with her. She is a perfect mix of cool and shy and sweet. If you don’t love her, well.. you’re just wrong. xD I miss you!

There is one special person, without her I would have not even made it to the airport. This, of course, is not the reason why I love her so much. I love her because she has a heart of gold. She is smart, cute and cares so much it should be illegal. You know what all you’ve done to get Maja and me to HousCon - without you, especially without you, my dream would still be a dream. For that, I’m grateful. But I love you for being a wonderful friend. Thank you, Ally. ( @greatwallofsam ) No, I’m not crying right now. You’re crying. You’re perfect and precious and I miss you!

After one of the panels, Kaz introduced me to Destini ( @crabackles ). That was, by far, the most precious moment of all the introductions I’ve been through during HousCon. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place a name to her adorable face - so I kept quiet. I treated careful with everyone after all. Because, let’s be honest, many folks would’ve rather not seen me at the con or at least knowing I’d not be able to go. She, obviously, was not one of them. I figured that the second Kaz introduced me with my tumblr URL. Immediately, Destini’s face morphed into a shock-surprise-squee-like-cuteness. “Oh my god. That’s you? That’s you! I LOVE YOU!!!! You are so amazing.” At first, I turned around, checking if she was talking to/about someone else. She’s a pure delight and I’m so happy I got to meet her. *kisses* I miss you!

The last person I got to meet, on Sunday, was the absolutely funny Sarah ( @jensenscomedyelbows ). She all but tackled me into a crushing hug and we fell on the bed in our room. “We made sweet love”, was her explanation of how we finally met! No bodily fluids have been exchanged. I promise. Though, it was a close call. The two of us got along perfectly and I had many interesting and joyful conversations with her. She might have fallen in love with me. The feeling is definitely mututal. I miss you!

Now, let’s get to the part where my dream became reality. ;)

With thanks to all the amazing people I got to spend the weekend with, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be when the time came to see J2 in person for the first time. While the fundraiser for Maja and me was still running, and we weren’t sure if we could reach the goal, I was set on getting a Sunday ticket only, just so all the expenses could be covered. But someone (don’t worry Ainhoa & Juli, I won’t tell anyone it’s you) made damn sure that Maja and I would get the full weekend experience in form of copper tickets. However, do to a mistake by Creation regarding Sim’s seat, her whole group (which included us) was upgraded to Gold tickets (w/o autographs) before the whole shebang even started. I was crying in happiness for Sim, when they told her she would be upgraded. Though, once the lady said Sim’s group would be upgraded I couldn’t control my emotions any longer. I was shaking and crying and close to passing out. Never in a million years would I have expected this. Not ever. Not me. But it did and with this ‘luck’ we were able to access the famous Gold Panel. My heart was racing and my belly flip flopped so hard I wasn’t sure if I’d die, faint or get sick... or all of the above. Then, when Jared & Jensen were announced my knees felt weak, my hands were shaking and I mentally prepared myself for a face-dive to the floor. That didn’t happen though. Quite the opposite. The second these two dorks entered the stage, a wave of calmness washed over me, followed by an everlasting rush of happiness, with a sidedish of “OH MY GOD... IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?! AM I HERE? IS THIS STILL ONE OF MY DREAMS?!” It wasn’t a dream, it was as real as it could possibly be. Once this realization kicked in, my hand shot up and I was ready to ask a question. Which wouldn’t have been a question. I wanted to give a shout-out to the people who made it happen, who made it possible for Maja and me to be there. Unfortunately, I wasn’t picked.

However, at the J2-photo-op I had the opportunity to talk to Jared for a short moment. I hereby apologize to the people in line, I really couldn’t help myself. I told him that the #spnfamily donated, so my daughter and I could fly in from Germany. As soon as the words were out of my mouth he pulled Maja into a giant hug and squished her long and proper and said “Dankeschön for being here.” I might have been a tiny bit jealous. Not out of jealousy, but because I know my kid, I revealed to him that Maja really doesn’t like being hugged. He said he was sorry and hugged her again. xD She let it happen and smiled at him. It was too cute. Another thing Maja doesn’t like, at all, is having her picture taken. That’s why it was a huge surprise to me when she decided to be in the photo op after all. Two minutes before it was our turn. ;) If she doesn’t initiate it, she will be grumpy and pull a face during every picture. Which was, why she decided to purposely pull a grumpy/annoyed face in the pictures. For the time of my short conversation and the Jared-Maja-hugs, Jensen was mostly blocked by Jared’s large frame. Like, seriously. The guy is so tall. And pretty. I had to force myself to take my eyes off of him and greet Jensen. He, too, was too pretty for his own good and all smiles and kind and thenI explained to them what Maja wanted to do for the photo. They seemed excited and comfortable with it. Thank god. Only when we got to pick up the photo did I see that Jared pointed at the grumpy German kid. ;)) And... why the right side of my neck was tingling and felt so warm. *blush*

In our Jared-Op, Maja wanted to be annoyed again. But before I had a chance to tell Jared, Maja walked up to him and handed him a gift. Gummy Bears, duh, of course. Again, he thanked her in German and I was a little surprised at that, because our J2 op was a few hours prior. For a short moment I had forgotten how smart Jared is and that, apparently, he has the memory of an elephant. “Of course I remember. You were here earlier. Dankeschön again.” Jared said. Well, that definitely made my day. If it was possible to love him any more, then this would have been the moment for it.

I will remember and cherish these moments forever. They were both so kind and sweet to my daughter it was magical.

Saying goodbye to all the wonderful people I met, all the great friends I made, was heartbreaking and I’m still crying because I’m not sure I’ll ever see any of them again. But amazing memories have been made and I will carry them in my heart forever.

When I first began looking for flights, checking air fares for every German airport and making sure I’d get the best deal I also compared regular roundtrip flights to jaw flights. To my surprise, the jaw flights came up with the same price as the regular round-trips. Which was, why we didn’t have to return to Germany on January 30th. Instead, we took a plane to NY - for a 6 days layover.

Why NY? Why 6 days? Because there is a person in NY who I love more than anything and with everything I’ve got. My wifey. Some of you might know her. The fic-reading yous know her... or, you have seen the posts I’ve mentioned her in. I’ve known her for about 4 years. We read each other’s stories without knowing who the person behind the many words was. At some point she was looking for a beta and I offered to help. And so our friendship began. I have never trusted anyone with my writing, other than her. We beta for each other, we brain storm together. But other than our mutual love for writing we simply get each other. A wonderful and deep friendship has been built over the years and, even though some days are so busy that we don’t get to talk, our thoughts are always with the other one. We never met before, and yet, it always felt like we have known each other for decades. We share personal things that neither of us would mention to anyone else. Early on I told her about the possibility of a jaw flight and the second I had messaged her about it she started making plans. Spoil us rotten, was one of them. And boy, did she spoil us. Maja and I had the greatest of times with her and her hubby... and their cute cats. They took us out for lunch, dinner, to the arcade, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, meet family members and the highlight of it all: she invited us to Disney’s Aladdin on Broadway. I have never seen anything like it and Maja’s jaw dropped left and right. The musical was absolutely amazing and getting to experience this wonderful show side by side with my favorite person on planet earth... well, let’s just say I’m slowly dehydrating because I’ve been crying so many happy tears within the past two weeks.

My beautiful wifey is an avid reader and one of the most talented writers (she writes more than those fanties we share in the fandom) I know. For weeks my daughter and I tried to come up with a gift to bring her. I know she would have liked something to remember us by, something to keep forever, something from our hometown. Unfortunately, our hometown is kind of sucky and we didn’t find anything worth bringing. I had to think it over and then, at HousCon, Megan Padalecki happened. Megan, as well as her parents were at HousCon promoting/selling her latest book. And I knew right away: What better gift to give a reader/writer than a signed book? As I greeted all three of them, Sharon Padalecki noticed that I wasn’t from Texas - or the US for that matter. So, I told her that I’m from Germany and that’s when Gerald’s interest spiked up and I talked to him about their vacations in Germany and the Autobahn... and how we both love the no speed limit. “The next time you’ll go 170 on the Autobahn you’ll remember me”, he said with a bright smile. I did, on our way home. I promised Megan to wear two seatbealts... but, since my car only has one for each seat I couldn’t keep that promise. Don’t tell on me. Fun fact: Three times I almost bumped into Gerald Padalecki at the hotel, because my legs were a little too fast. Not to mention when Sarah and I were in the elevator, it dinged open and he stood outside.. asking which way we’re going. He needed to go down - we up, so the doors closed. I said to Sarah: “So, that was Gerald Padalecki.” She looked at me like I have two heads...she had no idea who didn’t want to ride in the elevator with us until I pointed it out. ;)

Anyway... Megan signed the book for my wifey and my day was made. A few hours later Maja grabbed her pocket money and got herself a book as well... and, it shouldn’t be surprising - the elephant memory runs in their family - Megan remembered me... even remembered my wifey’s name.

None of this would have been possible without the genorosity of: [in order of incoming donations]

Juli, Alain St., Kathleen v.W., Tony K., Sim, Anna B., Kathie M., Nancy R., Kristina B., Yvonne Ch., Brett T., Kaz, Steph C., Catherine R., Andrea B., Charlene F., Samantha M., Mia P., Paula Ch., Ann-Chrstine P., Sally B., Ainhoa, Ally, Emily R., Taresa K., Mirijam M., Katherine H., Dorota W., Sarah J., Kenedy A., Laurie St., Kerry D., Melissa B., Stephanie G., Beatrice B., Bronwyn D., Catherine M., Erica M., Sally B. Jessica G., Sandra K.

Without Juli’s determination and optimismn I would have nothing to write about and nobody to thank for. All of this, is because of her love.

Thank you. Each and every one of you. Thank you for letting me live my dream, for giving me happiness... thank you for the millions of tears I’m still shedding.

Thank you #spnfamily.

I miss and love all of you!

#Jared Padalecki #Jensen Ackles #2017 #houscon 2017 #ddmhouscon #houscon #did i forget anyone?!#oh god #i hope not #freckled batman #100

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