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ayo-cowbelly · 4 years

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opinions on star wars outfits: a saga

my thoughts on five of a certain character’s outfits (if they have that many) in the series, because this galaxy takes weird shit and calls it fashion- and it WORKS

first up: padme <3 we’re doing ten for her cause she is a model and rocks everything she wears, and she has so many outfits it’s insane (don’t worry i put in the ‘keep reading’ thing so this doesn’t take over your dash, i’m sorry it’s so long, the others won’t be)

#1: the lantern dress

i think i saw something that said they plugged in the little ovals at the bottom to make them light up, so that’s cool.

when i was a kid, i thought they looked like beetles or something.

the color’s nice.

also, is it lined with FUR? wow they went all out for someone who rules a resort of a planet.

looks like it’d be heavy though.

something that’s good in theory but when you wear it for more than an hour you’re sweating and you can’t move and you really need to go to the bathroom, but to do that you have to like... fully undress in the stall or something and it’s not even worth it.

rating: 6/10 because it’s cute but might get uncomfortable

#2: the battle outfit

ooo i love this one. it’s like.. chic but simple?

and the color is super cool.

it’s a skirt that’s kind of... around the pants? which is awesome; gives it some flair.

i like the yellow stripey things on the shoulders. very fun.

downside? it looks like it’s velvet. which, honestly, isn’t my first choice fabric for running around a palace shooting at robots. but kudos to padme for doing so while still looking amazing.

i’d figure out a way to trip on the skirt, i swear, but i like that they still have one for their battle outfits. like yeah we’re in a firefight but flowy skirt go swish

rating: 7/10 because it’s very nice, just might be a bit impractical

#3: the purple headdress one

pretty colors

looks like a nighttime version of the sunset dress

i love that she wore this for traveling. like, who’s gonna see you? your handmaidens, rattail-hair obi wan, Weed Dad Jinn and Bowl Cut Baby Ani. not much of an audience. but also, i shouldn’t be talking, seeing as i dress up for zoom calls in my house and then keep my camera off the whole time.

the gold part of the headpiece is cool, it stands out but doesn’t clash.

the design on the headpiece looks like one you’d see on an old guy’s sweater (that diamond pattern? why do they all wear it?)

very nice outfit overall

rating: 8/10 because it’s pretty but not my favorite

speaking of the sunset dress... #4: ONE OF THE BEST ONES ON THIS LIST

THIS IS LIKE. THE BEST ONE.

It’s so beautiful??? and THE OMBRE?? I DIE

and that low back, okay padme i see you ;)

when i was young i wanted this dress so bad. i asked for it for my birthday a few times.

i want to wear this dress so i can stand in an empty room and twirl around

the sleeves are so pretty and flowy and swishy. BEAUTIFUL.

this outfit boosts my serotonin levels 100000%

rating: 10/10 because YES.

#5: the aggressive negotiations jumpsuit

first of all, reminds me of leia’s hoth outfit, like mother like daughter

the cape looks like a throw blanket i have

why she’d wear to a red desert planet, i’m not sure, but whatever floats your boat

the metal cuffs on the arms look like they’d get uncomfortable after a while- like you’d get the same red marks from them that you get when you wear jeans all day

also the hairstyle looks like... pipe cleaners or noodles or something? i don’t know but she makes it work

rating: 6/10 because: 1) i think this was just an excuse for natalie to wear something s3xy and 2) i wanna see obi wan wear this instead but alas

#6: the corset dress

STEP ON ME QUEEN

this is the dress that started my realiziation i’m bisexual i swear. i rewatched AOTC and just paused the screen for like thirty minutes

she rocks this dress like she rocks the star wars world (and mine)

the only downside is the headband. the metal looks like it’d hurt after a while. or like it’d be a BITCH to take after wearing it for a few hours (cause it seems to go into the ponytail or something if that makes sense)

also i’m not a huge fan of the scarf but whatever it looks good

rating: 9/10 because WOW OKAY

#7: the beaded nightgown

okay i don’t know who else besides padme would wear something with BEADS to sleep in but i’m here for it

she really goes all out, like girl really wears a nightgown with a cape

i would get eaten alive trying to sleep in this, watch me get swallowed by the amount of material combined with the blankets

actually maybe i wouldn’t need a blanket, i could just wrap myself up in this dress like a metallic burrito

the color is beautiful and looks like it came out of lothlorien

to be honest this outfit just somehow gives me galadriel vibes and I AM LOVING IT

downside: i mean why you’d wanna sleep with beads on i’m not sure, seems like it’d get uncomfortable (those suckers DIG into your skin or at least scratch it)

rating: 9/10 because beauty is pain but shouldn’t be too much pain

#8: (we’re almost done i promise) another travel outfit but make it tan

“anakin, you’re breaking my heart” yeah well you know what’s breaking my heart, padme? those leggings. sorry babe but the color looks like my skin when i’m nauseous. i don’t know they just don’t do it for me

also what gets me about this outfit is that she found out anakin killed a bunch of people but still decided she just HAD to change her outfit and do her hair before going to see him. like i know it was probably for practicality purposes (who tf wants to wear a gown to mustafar) but still

but i do like the color, nice and simple and it looks good with her hair

also the arm gloves are cool.

the boots remind me of luke’s in ROTJ, which are awesome. the twins inherited their mother’s fashion sense

rating: 6/10 because *gru voice* i like it, but not a lot

#9: the green velvet monstrosity (doing this one because they can’t all be winners)

okay i’m sorry maybe it’s just me but I... low key hate this dress. well hate’s a strong word but still

she looks great, it’s just the outfit i don’t like. the color reminds me of.... puke, a little bit.

i don’t like the yellow-green with the purple. maybe it’s just the lighting, but i don’t feel like they go together i’m sorry. also i just don’t like velvet but that’s a personal thing. upside, it hides her pregnancy well, which i think is what she was going for during ROTS. but yeah this is probably my least favorite padme outfit (one of them, at least).

this one does not spark a lot of joy

rating: 4/10 because i don’t like it but she still looks good

#10 / final one: the funeral dress

hard to get a good picture of this one but whatever

OKAY I LIED THIS IS MY FAVORITE

she looks like a water nymph and i ADORE it

it’s so so so beautiful and i love the colors and WITH THE FLOWERS ON THE SIDE i just love it so much.

her hair looks awesome as well

the blue is amazing and i love it with the mixes of purple and sparkles and green.

the outfit looks like it came from a fantasy forest or something, it’s great

I LOVE IT

this one sparks joy

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cafenzie · 7 years

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oh look, me again regarding things in fanfic that bug me --

/ This will be concerning menstruation and menstrual cycles/periods as it relates in general and it’s misconceptions found in descriptions of writing.

So.......sometimes I feel like the people who write fanfiction and scenes or areas regarding periods...don’t have periods??? Given that I know the number of female to male writers can be equal, I also know a ton more girls that happen to write and so it’s really confusing how misleading some may periods sound in fanfic when....they would, theoretically, have experience of periods themselves.

And it’s not the weird un-experienced “sex scene - esque” thing that I see a lot of in fanfiction either, because it’s a natural and obvious thing, my friend. Periods are a thing and so if you don’t like the talk about it you can turn back now but honestly this shouldn’t be “disgusting” in any way what I’m about to unleash on you because it’s just natural so get over it, really. ( unless you have a fear of blood, that’s different ).

What I’m talking about is writers who dramatize or don’t realistically portray periods and menstrual cycles. Whether it’s the “bright red blood” or, you know, like blood everywhere ( like....on the wall kind of everywhere because then it sound like more like a homicide case instead ) or just the general points people can miss so I’ll just start in no particular order of how to properly go about writing about periods and people on their periods :

01. Please, for the love of the stars, don’t always go describe the blood as bright red. I see this so many times that I wonder if some of these people really don’t have periods or understand how they work ?? Let’s make this easy: menstrual blood comes in all variety of colors from that light crimson ( especially during a lighter cycle ) all the way to a dark brown that, yeah, sounds like it’s from the wrong place, but it’s not. Actually, the darker your blood is, the more likely it’s “leftover” as I call it, meaning it’s the blood left over from last month’s lining and never got disposed of out of your lady bits and because it’s been so long, the color darkens and only gets disposed of when your new cycle starts. Usually, I start with darker blood because of that exact reason -- it’s one of the first things to come out along with all that fresh blood that, yes, may look a little brighter. But the rest of the point is: not everyone has bright red blood on their menstrual cycle. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone who did, besides in small, sparse amounts..!

02. Do NOT cover up shitty actions with PMS reasoning. Do not validate someone shitting all over a person just because “they are on their period”. I hear this one so often, of how women are portrayed as literal devils while on their periods because of “PMS”. Yeah, okay, I get pretty annoyed more so when I’m on my period, but that’s due to three main reasons: (1) Hormones are the secret behind “PMS” as everyone dubs it. Estrogen and Progesterone levels in your body may heighten or serious decrease, causing imbalance, which affects your Serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter responsible for your mood balance, pain perception, and the sleep-wake cycle your body is used to. (2) I put in a trusty tampon but came back realizing my cycle is too heavy and I bled through. Maybe I was out and about. Maybe I was wearing nice underwear. Maybe I put the tampon in wrong or I should have brought a pad to put with it. Whatever the case is, every woman deals with her period a different way, personality-wise included. The myth about grumpy women who get super cheery is just waay too cliche for one thing, and it’s just ea fact that some women perceive their periods in different ways: I know girls that perk up during their cycle and we hang out and laugh and shit. I know women that may bite you if you try and grab her pizza slice, but who wouldn’t normally?? Fact is that variety is a thing with so called “PMS” and while it’s a handy term, it’s also become very desensitized to just mean that cliche stereotype of a she-devil or dragon lady who’s simultaneously bleeding out.

I’ll add on another common stereotypical misconception ( or, a least, how it’s treated to seem like ) with eating habits of a girl fighting through her cycle. Yeah, we get hungry. We eat, probably a lot more than normal, and yeah we probably eat a lot more greasy or starchy food than normal. And yeah...we fucking eat chocolate man, because it’s delicious and we deserve it. However, we do this for a reason and -- like everything else there -- it varies between each person. When we are on our periods, we are continuously losing blood ( on average 40 milliliters a day for approximately 5 days give or take ). Generally, we try and make up for everything lost during that time by drinking lots of water, but also eating more -- also as a side-effect of our Serotonin as well as the initial phase before bleeding in which our body is thinning we may have a child ( in which case it makes us think we should be eating for two ). So yeah, food is good. On another note, caffeine can actually heighten your irritability and pain during a menstrual cycle and it’s usually advised to avoid it for that time, unless you’re like me and can’t live without that first sip of morning coffee so just be wary.

03. Believe or not, those who don’t have periods, it smells. Vaginas have an odor and let me tell you that odor just come to life with that discharge. Again, everyone differs, but smells that can come from below deck are caused by bacteria mostly and the fact that you’ve been retaining moisture down there all this time by wearing underwear ( on a side note, it’s actually very good to go without the knickers every so often, even just to bed! Air that sucker out, she needs it ). Take into mind you’re losing blood and mucus and tissue that’s literally shedding from your uterus. Vaginas also can smell on a regular basis because that’s how the cookie crumbles, folks. Same thing, minus the blood and gore. It’s only different or “bad” if it’s because of an infection like yeast or your pH levels are off ( like using douches / body washes up in there. Trust me -- DON’T ). Otherwise, it’s normal!

04. Cramping and pain is normal, yes, but please remember the other sides of your cycle from fevers, headaches ( the worst ), migraines, heartburn, aching muscles, dizziness, vomiting / nausea, and the list goes on ! Period pain is not just defined by those cramps that we feel all the way from right above our uterus all the up into our belly because there is so much more. Not only that, but people experience cramping differently -- some don’t even notice it at all! Take into mind that lots of people ( like me ) commonly take medications like Midol or Pamprin to suppress or relieve these symptoms along with others. Some take it religiously as soon as they see the blood coming, but there’s also light-takers who only take a dosage when the feel it. Me, personally -- I’ll use a hot pad if it feels really bad and drink lots of cranberry juice to make sure I’m still peeing well and I may find that laying in that strange position that took me 30 minutes to find is also helpful. Point is, you can surely relieve that pain with medication and most smart girls do if they know they need it, so it really just doesn't make much sense to constantly write about your girl writhing on the floor in pain every month now does it?

05. Okay, now we’re really gonna get personal so fair warning of possible/slight NSFW below. ....For my girls out there who get really heated during their period, I feel you. Honestly, I think this is one of my personal main indicators of my oncoming cycle since I’ll notice that “ hey, I’ve been fantasizing about Bucky Barnes way more than I normally do ”. Yeah, given I love Bucky Barnes, I think of myself somewhat humble for not thinking about what else that metal arm could be put to good use for every single night, okay? I guess this segment will also just be informative for those of you unfamiliar with sex during your period or masturbation during a cycle, so be prepared if you’re wondering. For this, my main concern with fanfic writers is that they write how blood get everywhere, and I mean like on the ceiling kind of everywhere or like soaks through to the mattress and I’ll sit here so confused. So let Abby here inform you all about the basic 101 of the menstrual nsfw news.

First thing’s first is that it really does not get everywhere. I’ll be brutally honest in saying that when I do the deed, the aftermath and cleanup is not as bad as you think. Maybe just a quick rinse off or brush off, quick dab of a cool cloth with water on it -- you’re good. ( obviously do take care of your toys though, please: I just mean this in general ). And if you really are worried about the mess you might make, like I was the very first time, lay out a towel !! ( other option is the shower, just don’t slip friends ). Second thing: will it hurt? In my experience, it shouldn’t?? I hope it doesn’t and if you do feel pain, just stop. For me, personally, it tends to relieve a lot of my pain while, ultimately, satisfying my crave so I’m happy. Lastly, the oral implied in a lot of fanfic can be...excessive? And while this isn’t bad, it can also leave about a big chunk of the previous information and description from the color, smell, texture, even taste! ( for some reason there’s the popular cliche of the person raising their head after giving them head and they just see like the blood dripping down their chin and I’m like ??? not very realistic guys tbh ). Since we’ve covered the first two already we’ll jump into texture and taste: remember that the discharge during a cycle isn’t just blood. It’s a mixture of loose blood, bits of tissue from the lining that was shed, and your cervical mucus ( which mostly determines the texture as a whole ). Cervical mucus can change and differ but is mostly known for these main descriptions: tacky/sticky, creamy, milky, watery, etc. It’s mostly a matter of how dense it is whether it’s like a thick cream, a lotion, or water. Take into mind how the person giving oral will perceive this along with taste! Those little balls of flesh from your uterus lining the wall? Yeah, they’ll get some of that, and it will look black and that may be freaky but it’s honest. Despite the common mistake that period discharge tastes like the blood that comes from your arm or mouth, it does not. It will not have a super metallic-y taste and, overall, may not be pleasant ( also given how old it could be ). That doesn’t mean it can’t be good, to a degree, but don’t expect Dracula to be lusting after you.

I think that’s all I can currently think of, please add on if you can any more side-notes or comments, questions, etc. For you fanfic writers, please TAKE NOTE OF THIS. And to my girls out there, you keep rocking it, gorgeous.

#fanfiction tips #fanfic tip #fanfic tips #writer tips #writer tip #trigger warning blood #menstrual cycle #menstruation #periods #period writing #period smut #writing tips #writing tip

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