so what the hell is the protocol?

everyone in the tmagp fandom is rightfully going insane over the multitude of references to "the Protocol". given that this statement was given in 1685, it existed far before the magnus institute was ever a thing, so what gives? well here's all our information on it so far.

it was first mentioned in episode 4, "taking notes". alice. confronts sam on him looking it up. it's described as very super duper secretive, and sam could get in a lot of trouble if people found out he was looking into it. this bit is also a little strange, because alice (and seemingly ONLY alice) gets a security notification about sam looking it up. why alice? this could be another case of the computers having some sort of sentience. one od them wanted alice specifically to know what sam was up to.

in any case, the information we get about the protocol is that it involves a group called starkwall, who are apparently private military contractors. they involved in something called the "San Pedro Square Massacre", so despite how secretive they are, there is at least one event that is well known enough that sam knows about it.

starkwall doesn't get mentioned much, but (and this might be a reach) in episode 7 "give and take", a bunch of weird shit happened at hilltop centre. and i know we've all already lost our minds on the "hilltop" aspect of this, but what i'd like to point out is how the episode ends. the statement giver is saved by a bunch of seemingly military personnel, who proceed to go in guns blazing and burn the building down. the statement giver is then told they're not to talk to anyone about this group or what their identity is. sounds like starkwall to me.

and then we have this episode, where robert talks extensively about the protocol. he never explicitly says what the protocol is, but through context clues it's pretty easy to guess that it's some sort of procedure enacted to protect the world from supernatural events. in this case, isaac newton and his dog that is now a tree. robert hooke advocates for the destruction of isaac's lab and all his research.

some people have already pointed out that in real life, isaac newton did study alchemy, and most of his research on the subject was destroyed when his lab burned down. so if the tmagp universe has at least a similar history to ours (aside from all the supernatural stuff), then the protocol was enacted and they did end up destroying newton's lab.

but that's not the only use of the protocol mentioned in this episode. robert hooke also mentions the use of the protocol in london some years prior, seemingly to do with an "awful plague". again, this statement is given in 1685. in 1666 was the great fire of london.

so the protocol seems to explicitly have to do with solving supernatural problems by burning them down. we have the great fire of london, we have isaac newton's lab, and we have hilltop centre. we still don't know what exactly the san pedro square massacre was, but i'm willing to bet it ended with flames.

which brings me to the magnus institute. many notable things are different about it compared to the TMA world, the most notable being that it burned down in 1999. i'm also willing to bet that starkwall, or whatever they're employed by, was behind this. this show is called the magnus protocol after all.

i’ve been having some more potty troubles lately, but the messy kind this time…

look, i’m fine with my bladder being a little weak rn, i’ve adapted! keeping pull-ups outside the shower, staying on a changing schedule, even keeping my princess parts shaved!

messy stuffs is kinda new to me, i first tried messing a diaper maybe 3-4 months ago now and didn’t really like it the first time

but a lot of the hypnosis i listen to also includes some bowel incontinence training, so i guess i should’ve expected this…

the other day i woke up absolutely full to the brim, had to poopy like right that second. i genuinely only made it off my bed before it just. came out. like i didn’t even push.

no big deal, my nighttime diapey was already soaked, so i just showered and changed!

today though was kinda the final straw in still trying to deny i have full control of my poopies.

a few friends were in town so we hung out at my apartment tonight to hang and smoke and play video games. i wore a pull-up, but tried super hard to keep it dry so it wouldn’t swell up and maybe be noticeable. i’m still super shy about wearing diapeys in front of my friends, but i do need some sort of protection 24/7.

i just kept leaking though! it seemed like once a round i’d loose focus on my bladder and just let out a little before i snapped back and clenched down.

by the end of the night, my pull-up was probably one big leak away from leaking…

i stood up to walk my friends out and realized i had to make pushies. like really bad. like right now.

i tried super hard to hide my potty dance, but they just kept talking! by the time they’d finally left all i could do was squat the second the door closed and fill my pull-up.

it was so stinky and embarrassing to hear my friends just outside the door giggling and talking while i was squat on the floor packing my pampers. and of course i can’t hold my peepees while i’m making pushies, so my pull-up leaked.

i waddled to the bathroom, stripped and showered, and padded up appropriately with an m4 and a lil paws on top. can i close my legs? no. do i have to waddle? yep! who cares though, at least these diapeys will actually contain my messies!

i just feel so helpless and embarrassed that my decades of successful keeping my undies clean has gone down the drain so fast! i definitely need to lay off the hypno for a while if i even want a shot at potty training in august!

for now, i’ll fall asleep one last time to my tracks, double diapered in a onesie with my pink paci in! i’m sure it won’t take long for my potty training to bounce back!!!

Billy please :) just simple hanging out with his gf and talking about random stuff 💚💚💚

Love u

Thank you baby, ily so much!!! <3

"What?" He asked as he looked at you curiously, eyebrows raised as he stalled his movements with the knife, "What do you mean?" He was working on cutting a loaf of bread down the middle, trying to prepare you both for lunch.

"What would you do if I turned into a worm?" You asked him as you pulled your favorite chip up to your lips, snacking on it far earlier than you were supposed to.

Billy shook his head, a soft chuckle leaving his mouth before he began to massage down the sauce onto your sub sandwiches. You liked whatever he did. He made everything taste good.

"What sort of question is that?" He asked, eyeing the red onions as if they were now questionable. He shook his head before he began to assemble everything, moving his fingers delicately in the precise order he desired.

"A question," You replied as you leaned over the counter, watching the way he began to assemble the sandwiches in front of him. He truly was a master of his craft. You didn't know how he made them taste so good, "So what would you do?"

"I don't know," He grumbled as he delicately placed the vegetables over the sandwich, "What would you do?" He turned the question towards you as he met your eyes, the waves in his filled with curiosity.

"If you turned into a worm?" You questioned, watching as he nodded his head before he placed a hand over the thick loaves and began to cut it in half, "I would buy a very fancy garden and keep you safe inside there. Safe from any birds or other prey." You answered confidently, only to have him snort in response. You pouted your lips out as he slid the sandwich to you.

You admired it for a moment, taking in how thick and perfect it looked. The sauce slightly leaked out of the sides, the bread light and airy as you quickly pulled it up to your lips.

"You're a shit gardener," He responded as he jerked his head towards the potted plant that was slowly decaying, "I guess I'd be the early bird." He said at last, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Huh?" You asked as you chewed down on your half of the sandwich, savoring the flavors in your mouth. He grinned as he wiped some of the sauce from the corner of your lip.

"Early bird gets the worm," He smirked triumphantly as he licked his finger clean, "You'd be all mine." He looked fairly proud of himself as he took a large bite of his own sandwich. You could feel yourself grinning, heart hammering from his response. You were quite proud that he was only like this with you.

"That was a cheesy answer," You declared at last, but still laughed as he dramatically bit into one of the peppers that he loved so much, "You're lucky you make good sandwiches." You added playfully, watching as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure that's what made you stay." He grumbled as he flicked the stem of his pepper towards you, making you blink as it bounced off of your cheek. Your grin met his, a giggle bursting free as a comfortable feeling settled between the two of you.

CROSS GUILD WITH A CHILD READER

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD + I MOSTLY TALK ABOUT BUGGY OOPS

NOTES: A clown, a swordsman, and a sandman. My favorite trio. Everything written here is so random, so please buckle up. 🫨

You've got Crocodile and Mihawk, both big shots in their own right, and they've got a ton of stuff going on, right? They're busy dealing with all sorts of important things, and suddenly, you come into the picture needing someone to look after you. Now, it's not that they don't care about you or anything, but they're not exactly equipped to handle a kid at the moment. So, what do they do? They look around and think, "Hey, who can we pawn this kid off to?" And guess who they settle on? Buggy. They're both kind of on the same page about Buggy being, well, pretty useless most of the time. But hey, he can at least handle babysitting duty, right? It's like the least he can do to make himself a bit more tolerable to Mihawk and Crocodile. And eventually, you end up in Buggy's care, and who knows, maybe he surprises everyone by not completely messing it up. It's like a little test for him to see if he can step up and actually contribute something meaningful to the Cross Guild, while also maybe earning a bit of respect from the big bosses themselves—Crocodile and Mihawk. Plus, it might even help smooth things over between them all, make things a bit less tense in the Cross Guild. It's kind of like Buggy's chance to step up and show he's not totally useless after all.

Spoiler alert: Buggy is, in fact, useless, even when it comes to babysitting.

While under Buggy’s care, think of that one audio that goes like, “You want a beer?” “He’s four!” “I DONT KNOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HIM?!” Buggy is the one offering you a beer, and it’s probably Alvida scolding him for offering you a beer. He’s trying, okay—and it’s the thought that counts. When Mihawk and Crocodile first told him he'd be looking after you, Buggy's gut reaction was to grumble and complain. But then he saw the looks they gave him—those death stares that could silence any king—and he quickly shut his mouth. Just like that, he accepted his new role with a resigned, "Okay, I am now a babysitter." Sure, he's skeptical about the whole thing. I mean, Buggy and babysitting? But he knows better than to argue. So here he is, awkwardly navigating this whole childcare thing, making blunders but genuinely trying his best. It's a weird situation for everyone.

I imagine that you have been with the Cross Guild for some time already, so this likely isn’t Buggy’s first time taking care of you. Yet every time feels like the first time for him. He's just not a natural with kids. It's like he's constantly second-guessing himself, unsure of what to do or how to act. But you know what really lights a fire under him? Compliments. Especially when they're about how cool he is. Seriously, mention anything about his awesomeness, and suddenly, he's walking on air. You can practically see the confidence oozing out of him. "Oh, you think I'm cool?" he'll say, grinning from ear to ear, soaking up every bit of praise you throw his way. And if you really want to see him shine, just keep the compliments coming. Tell him how flashy and impressive he is, and watch as he practically transforms before your eyes. Suddenly, he's not just awkwardly babysitting; he's putting on a show, trying to impress you with his swagger and style. After that, you'll probably notice a change in him. He'll start to relax a bit and maybe even start looking forward to spending time with you. Buggy the babysitter isn't such a wild idea after all.

And if for some reason Buggy isn’t the one taking care of you, it’s most likely Mihawk who steps up. Crocodile's usually buried under a mountain of responsibilities, so Mihawk takes it upon himself to keep an eye on you. Now, unlike Buggy, Mihawk's not exactly awkward around kids. He's just... well, himself. You know, all serious and stoic, like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He doesn't really have much experience with children, so he kinda just treats you like a mini-adult. No baby talk or anything like that, he just sees you as a little human being. But don't worry, he's not some mean old grump or anything. He's just firm. Firm as in he won't tolerate any disrespect or nonsense from you, but he's not gonna yell or anything like that. His gaze alone is usually enough to keep you in line. Oh, and whatever you do, don't even think about touching his sword. Seriously, that thing's like his baby—the last thing he wants is a crying kid with a cut because they were being too clumsy. He might let you take a good look at it though. So look all you want, but keep those small hands off. But you know what he will let you have? His hat. If you beg ask him nicely enough, he might just let you borrow it for a little while. So go ahead, give it a try. Who knows, maybe wearing Mihawk's hat will make you feel like a little pirate captain or something.

And then there's Crocodile. When it's his turn to take care of you, his approach is pretty straightforward. He'll plop you down somewhere near him and tell you to behave and stay out of his way while he works on stuff. But what kind of kid is just going to sit there quietly and stare at their dad work on a bunch of boring papers? None. Exactly. So naturally, you start to get a bit antsy. At first, you try to be subtle. You scoot over a bit closer and peek over his shoulder, trying to see what he's so engrossed in. And what do you find? Boring paperwork. You sigh, plopping back into your seat, feeling utterly defeated by the sheer dullness of it all. Then the questions start. "Crocodile," you call out. He doesn't look at you, but you know he's listening. "What are you working on?" "Work," he replies, his voice flat and uninterested. "Crocodile," you try again. "Hmm?" he grunts. "Why are you so tall?" "Why are you so talkative?" "Crocodile," you persist. "What?" "Can I have one of your rings?" "No." He goes silent again, but you're not giving up that easily. "Crocodile," you say once more. This time, he finally glances over at you, annoyance etched across his face. Perfect, you think—this is your chance to unload all those burning questions. So you start firing away. "Why are you called Crocodile? Are you a crocodile? How did you get that scar on your face? Can you make a sandcastle? Can I have your hook? Can I have your coat? Can you make my hair like yours? Can you make me cool like you?" He listens in silence as the barrage of questions comes his way, his eyebrow quirking slightly at the rapid-fire interrogation. "Kid, where are all these questions coming from?" he finally asks, unable to hide the hint of exasperation in his voice. “My head," you say innocently, flashing him a wide-eyed look. It takes everything in him not to roll his eyes at your annoyingly cute innocence.

Now, when it's the three of them—Mihawk, Crocodile, and Buggy—all tasked with taking care of you at the same time, things can get pretty complicated. On one hand, you have the stern swordsman and the no-nonsense sandman keeping a close eye on you while you and Buggy play patty cake. It's a weird dynamic. Buggy's usual strategy in this situation is to dive headfirst into playing kids' games with you, trying his best to act like he's fully engrossed in the fun. But you can tell he's a bit on edge, especially when you notice him glancing nervously over his shoulder, feeling the burning stares of Mihawk and Crocodile boring into the back of his head. Sometimes, the tension gets to be too much, and Mihawk and Crocodile can't resist giving Buggy a hard time, even in front of you. It's like one of those awkward moments when you're watching your sibling get scolded by your parents. You can see Buggy's face go pale, and he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. But then there are those moments when you step in to defend him. Buggy has never felt more grateful and relieved in his entire life than when you stand up for him like the little knight in shining armor you are. And believe it or not, your defense actually does make somewhat of a difference. Mihawk and Crocodile are way too mature to start bullying a child for defending Buggy, no matter how much they can't stand him. Plus, the last thing they want to deal with is a full-blown crying session from a grown man and child. Sure, your defense might earn Buggy even more glares from the two men, but it also makes them back off a bit. You can imagine Buggy clinging to you like a damsel in distress while you stand there, fierce and determined, protecting him with everything you've got. It's a sight that definitely annoys Mihawk and Crocodile. But hey, at least Buggy's got someone in his corner.

It’s pretty much a given that with Crocodile and Mihawk watching over you, you're practically untouchable. Even Buggy, despite his penchant for getting into trouble, wouldn't intentionally put you in harm's way. Sure, he may accidentally stumble into dangerous situations from time to time, but deep down, all three of them care about you—even if they don't always show it. Since you often spend the most time with Buggy, it's not uncommon for him to inadvertently lead you into precarious predicaments. Take, for example, that time you found yourselves perched on a rocky hillside, with Buggy enthusiastically rambling on about how cool and flashy he is. But then, in a classic Buggy move, he trips and starts tumbling down the hill—with you in tow. You’d think your life would flash before your eyes in a moment like that, right? Wrong. Instead, it's Buggy's life and yours flashing before his very eyes. The panic he's feeling right now is like when Crocodile and Mihawk are giving him those death glares, except multiplied by a thousand. But here's the thing: Buggy's luck? It seems to have rubbed off on you because, miraculously, you came out of this whole ordeal without a scratch. Meanwhile, poor Buggy's got a bloody nose, a bruised face, and who knows what else. But the moment he sees that you're okay, it's like a floodgate of relief and joy bursts open. He's screaming at the top of his lungs, cradling you like you're some precious treasure he's just unearthed. You can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. And it's not just because of the screaming clown in front of you—it's also because you know he's genuinely relieved that you're okay. (Think of that one part in the movie The Lion King when Rafiki just holds Simba high up—except in this situation it’s Buggy holding you high up and screaming out of joy like some madman. I legit had to search for this scene on YouTube because I forgot that dang monkey's name.) The only problem now is that Buggy's got to come up with a good explanation for those injuries he’s got when Crocodile and Mihawk inevitably catch sight of him. 

When hunger strikes, Mihawk is usually your go-to guy. He's not just the world's greatest swordsman; he's also a fantastic cook. If he ever decided to retire or whatever, he could easily become a top-notch chef. Or he could be the world's greatest swordsman and chef at once, who knows. On the other hand, if you asked Buggy to cook, you'd probably end up with something burnt. And Crocodile? He'd just brush you off with a classic "go ask your dad" line, where "dad" in this case is Mihawk. Of course, Crocodile never actually calls Mihawk your dad, but you get the joke. Anyway, Mihawk takes his cooking duties seriously when it comes to you. He doesn't cook for you throughout the day. Instead, he wakes up at the crack of dawn and prepares enough food to last you the entire day. By the time you wake up, your meal is already waiting for you, perfectly packed and ready to go. And the impressive part is that Mihawk always packs just the right amount of food, ensuring that you're never left hungry or stuffed. It's like he has some kind of sixth sense for portion control. If, by the end of the day, you haven't seen Mihawk at all, you make a point to find him at night just to say thank you. Mihawk, with his usual stoic demeanor, nods at you and sends you off to bed. It's a small ritual, but it means a lot to both of you. Another thing about Mihawk is that he's meticulous about your diet. He makes sure you're eating healthy, well-balanced meals. Sure, he lets you have sweets now and then, but he's always careful to remind you about moderation. He'll explain how too many sweets can be bad for you—not to scare you off sweets entirely, but just to make sure you're aware. He doesn't want you polishing off your fourth chocolate bar of the day, especially since Buggy is probably sneaking them to you because he thinks you're the cutest thing ever. Overall, Mihawk's attention to your diet and well-being shows how much he cares, even if he's not the most expressive guy. He might be stern and serious, but his actions speak volumes.

You have this cute habit of constantly asking Crocodile to pick you up. Honestly, who wouldn't want to be hoisted high up by the tallest guy around? For a kid, it's like an instant rollercoaster ride that's thrilling and fun. At first, Crocodile's pretty reluctant. He’s not exactly the most nurturing figure, and he's out of practice handling kids. But you, with your endless persistence, your pleading eyes, and that adorable pout, eventually wear him down. The first time he gives in is pretty comical. He picks you up with a heavy sigh, clearly unsure of himself. For a moment, he just stares at you, probably wondering what he’s gotten himself into and debating whether he should put you back down or not. But then you flash him your brightest, most radiant smile, and he knows he’s stuck. He figures that if he puts you down now, the cycle of begging and pleading will start all over again. So he resigns himself to carrying you around as he goes about his day. Unfortunately, you don’t get to choose where he takes you. Crocodile decides the route and destination, and that’s non-negotiable. If you start to complain about it, he'll fix you with a stern look and threaten to put you down and never carry you again. That usually gets you to pipe down pretty quickly. But all that aside, being carried by him is an absolute blast. He's so tall that you get an amazing bird's-eye view of everything around you. There's a thrill in being up high, combined with a comforting sense of security, knowing that Crocodile’s got you firmly in his grasp and won't let you fall. As for the way he carries you, it’s always in his arms. On very rare occasions, he’ll let you sit on his shoulders. But there's one rule: don't mess up his hair. Seriously, he’s adamant about that. So there you are, perched up high on Crocodile's shoulders, looking down at the world with a huge grin on your face. Despite his grumbling and sighs, you know he doesn't really mind. In his own gruff way, he’s grown fond of having you around.

You may be a handful, but you're their handful.

livestream

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — you ask your boyfriend to watch your followers.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — bucky barnes (marvel)

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — fluff

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — rushed ending WEEWOOWEEWOO also, this is based on @loveisallyouneed1125’s idea, i just added a ~little~ twist to it. i hope this is to your liking, bestie! 🤍

~

Occasionally, you would do a cooking and baking livestream where you would teach your followers how to cook certain dishes or bake, while you talk to them about other stuff. Your teammates would sometimes pop in and talk for a few minutes before leaving you to your thing once more.

Today, however, you had decided to let Bucky join you since your followers have been asking you for more boyfriend content with Bucky.

So you quickly set up your phone on the kitchen counter, making sure to leave enough space for you to work while also being in the camera’s view, then you went live.

You and Bucky waited for your followers to flood in, greeting some of them as they left comments and greetings. Although most of them were just smashing their keyboards and emojis, you still did your best to greet them.

After a few minutes, you got started on your baking with Bucky helping. You had mutually decided on baking chocolate chip cookies, finding it the easiest to bake together. Throughout the process, you occasionally gave out instructions to both Bucky and the viewers.

“Okay, you guys, let me just pop these into the oven real quick,” you said as you placed the last piece of dough on the baking tray. “Babe, can you please watch them while I do this?”

While you were busy with the cookies, Bucky watched the comments like a hawk, staring at them as they flooded in.

User 1: dude you’re literally so fucking cool

“Someone said a swear!” Bucky called out to you as he continued staring at the camera, his eyes narrowed.

“Tell them not to swear, it’s bad,” you chided like how a mother would to her child.

Bucky then recited the username of the commenter, pointing at the camera, “You better watch your language, kid. Your mama’s not going to like that. Mine certainly did not.”

The comments were flooded with all kinds of keyboard and emoji smashes, and words that are borderline incoherent as they reacted to you and Bucky acting like strict parents.

User 1: sorry mom and dad 😔

User 2: pls adopt me y’all are literally my parents

User 3: do u guys need a dog i can bark

User 4: ilysm pls dont die yet

“I don’t think your parents would appreciate you having Avengers as your new parents. Sorry, kid.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “No, we don’t need a dog. We already have Sam. And no, I’m not dying anytime soon. Thanks for your concern, I guess...”

Sam, who was currently in the livestream, spammed the comments with all sorts of insults for Bucky. He, of course, ignored them all, but not without rolling his eyes.

User 5: i’m gonna tell my friends i spent time with the avengers on the weekends 😎

“Well then, tell your friends I said hi.”

“Tell them I did too!” You said as you came into the camera’s view. “And you seem like you’re having fun without me. I am very hurt.”

User 6: NOOOO we love you mom!!!!

User 7: mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry.

You snorted as you saw the comment, while Bucky’s brows furrowed, “What does that even mean?”

You laughed, “I’ll teach you all those slangs later, babe.”

Now that I have slept on it, I feel like I can talk about Ming. I don't really have anything new to say that others haven't said before, but this is just me assembling my thoughts. So it is kind of long

Ming has issues. He has issues that he has never worked on and it manifests in the worst possible way, especially when he feels jealousy. He is used to throwing money at people and them complying to his wishes- he had someone prepare a separate van for him during the ad shoot, people on crew seem to comply to his wishes regardless of what it would mean for the project, he is sure that he can make the new guy act as an escort for him- so you know the usual entitled rich guy stuff but now notched up higher.

Like I said, Ming as a person hasn't changed. And the show isn't trying to have an argument against that either. Rather everything that's happened in the "after" scenes reiterates that while his affections have found a new home, there has been no personal growth. There won't be any redemption- it is what it is.

There also won't be an escalation to Ming being a full on sadist. He isn't a character from Strangers From Hell, he isn't Hannibal. There is nothing of that sort. If anything, he is just like every other abusive and overbearing partner in a relationship. Only in shows like Marry my husband, we get to see the female lead overcoming them, but here we have our protagonist get back with Ming, because something works by the end I guess. It is a standard BL and it will stick to its format and people who are enjoying this show, know all of this and watching it for what it is.

So I don't have a problem with all the "romantic" scenes. I don't think the show is deliberately trying to make you feel sorry for Ming- it is going only as far as it needs to get Joe back into accepting him. So it is more for Joe, the character than about the audience.

Now in the storyline this means that we have Ming who is very reserved around other people, talking only as far as to give an order and that's it. I don't think most characters see the worst of him and it is because he just isn't bothered about anyone outside of those he considers important. So he will be considerate and kind to May. He will give Tong the respect of a brother in law as per the culture that's common to so many Asian countries and he will be his most hateful self with Joe.

I think Ming does suspect that both these people are the same person. We have seen the preview and even this episode starts with an interrogation about the date of the accident and if Joe dreams about anyone. So in Ming's head there is something going on that's no less than a plot of an action movie. Maybe memory loss and plastic surgery...really who knows, anything except for the soul transmigration.

So we see the Ming who locked Joe up in jealousy and the Ming who would have forced himself on Joe out of jealousy. This remains the same. The only difference here is Joe, and he is done with Ming's bullshit. He is done with Ming questioning him about Tharn. He is done with Ming questioning him about working with Sol and what not. The contract Joe entered was about having sex with Ming, which is why he said " I am your dog, aren't I. Come on ask me for the paw then" So basically you bought me for sex, force yourself on me then, I can't do anything about it. But not this...he didn't sign up for this jealousy when he thinks he is once again a Tong stand in.

I will be honest. I do not empathize or sympathize with Ming. I cannot get behind the rhetoric of him being a hurt, broken boy. He drove his lover to death because of his jealousy ( he accepts this), mourns this but then does something horrible to the guy he suspects having some connection to his dead boyfriend because of jealousy.

My question is when the truth is revealed- what happens then? Because Ming wouldn't suddenly turn into a new leaf. So would they be having a conversation? Or would this be something hanging uncertainty over the relationship for eternity.

Or

Would Joe be into it, if he realizes that all of this has been for him and not Tong...

( I know, I know, no need to boo at me for the last line- I am just thinking out loud here).

Some recent thoughts about nonhumanity and my relationship to the community + my personal relationship with it that I cleaned up, my writing style is a bit disjointed, I would like to share more of my writing, if anyone would be interested in seeing that :)

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf

More context will be in the tags, for those interested!

im trying to wrap my head around why i dont get enthusiastic about reddit style fiction (not a dig but a descriptor) like scp and shit like that, bc its not that i can’t enjoy them but i think its like… when stuff is framed as if it were real, but its fiction, its like, well KNOWING its fiction eliminates a huge element of the intrigue, but also, crucially, i like character-driven stories, or at least stories WITH characters. but i also like it when things are interesting for said characters to experience, like, i want the ghosts and monsters and conspiracies but i want the characters to be character-ing, yknow? not that i dont enjoy slice of life and… what would u call the first thing, non-character specific horror? idk? but i prefer when its both. its like i love kirk and spock but also i do enjoy watching them Experience Situations when i watch star trek. i enjoy the idea of spooky national forest monsters that arent real but experiencing it alongside a character would be better, and i want more trans and gay characters whose lives are clearly trans and gay but i want a plotline to unfold too

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

Hey guys. gay rights

re: my seemingly fringe "I don't think we're meant to think Odin was a dreadful cunt" take, when was Thor 1 actually made? Like... 2010/2011? Because I think Odin is (presumably based on comics canon) meant to be "a bit distant but overall good as a parent" but 2010ish is well after the recent (historically recent, by which I mean since maybe the 1980s) shift in our culture's ideas about fatherhood and what make "a good dad" as well as similarly radical shifts in how we approach disciplining children. MCU!Odin is therefore odd because he's a couple of generations out if he's meant to convince the audience that he's A Good Dad or even an acceptable one. Even the people making the film can't have (all) thought he was any good so with this in mind I'm more open to the idea that Odin is meant to be fairly shit. (But not entirely, and certainly not to the point of him being evil - he's doing his best and arguably the issue isn't him but the culture they've all been born into.)

IDK how old the writer was but there could be an intentional generation-gap thing going on there? An "everyone thinks this is acceptable and even good parenting, but it isn't and everyone involved is getting messed up by it." You don't have to go that far back historically before failing to show regular affection to your kids wouldn't be seen as a significant flaw in a father (whereas it absolutely would be in a mother - v interesting that as the status of women in our society has increased our idea of a good dad has shifted significantly towards an ideal that would previously have been considered "maternal" and thus "unmanly." Oh hey, looks like patriarchy is bad for men too!)

I still think a lot of fanon and fanfic overstates it (which is fine until we're at the point of inventing obviously abusive behaviour and then seemingly forgetting that we made that up), and that Odin is at least meant to be 'doing his best' but yeah Them Thor Films must surely be aware that his best is nowhere near Actually Good, yeah? I mean unless they were written by a man who lives in the 1950s, which they probably weren't. (There is absolutely some generational variation in how far the social change has taken hold but you'd have to look for a long time before you'd find a man of any age who'd say "I really wish my father had been more reserved and had spent less quality time with me" rather than wistfully expressing the opposite of that.)

i still dont feel like my life has truly "started" yet cause i'm still developing skills while living at home rn, but im trying new things and learning more about myself too im p sure. i also have some goals around like... trying to socialize and approach others

see the longer I play with my understanding of my transmasc experience and dysphoria, the more I grapple with the conflict between mocking fragile masculinity for refusing to allow the use of 'feminine' things vs knowing more and more keenly how much dysphoria I would and do get whenever someone associates something I do or use or wear with femininity. and no amount of people insisting that using "feminine" things doesn't invalidate someone's gender, man or otherwise, seems to have any impact on that dysphoria

we do need to untangle cultural perceptions of masculine vs feminine and respect for a person's gender, manhood in particular in this discussion, but I almost feel like knowing that means it's my responsibility to refuse to engage with those ideas for my own gender — and the problem is that knowing this is not the common understanding means knowing that other people *will* associate my use of feminine things as some sort of contradiction with any masculinity I may wish to express or identify with, and no amount of understanding the concepts and holding the principles can erase the revulsion and pain and fear I feel at the thought of people associating me with some concept of womanhood that I adamantly *do not experience or identify with.* fuck.

Sorry for clogging all of your dashboards I've been in a good mood bc!!! I got awesome news today!

REUNITED!!!!!!