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yergink · 1 year

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On the day before the night Stede planned his escape to sea, he tried to consider what he would be leaving behind.

In one sense, there was a great deal of it. A wife and children. An estate. Security. A bed on solid land. A decent number of books he couldn’t manage to fit into the onboard library.

And yet, he could only quite view his current life in the periphery of escape. And like that, it seemed rather like nothing much at all.

For the longest time, he’d imagined that there was a cavern inside him where the pit of his soul should reside. A deep, yawning emptiness that grew with each unhappy day, with each unhappy week, month, year. The edges of it brittle and crumbling like limestone.

The expanse of it devoured him. He could feel it widening, swallowing whatever warped essence composed him. And as greatly as he understood how little his honest self was worth, he feared what may happen were he to lose himself entirely.

Mary still lay beside him, asleep. He took a long, lingering look at her, at the beautiful wife he was supposed to love, and with a great wash of guilt he found himself desperately, fervently, hoping that whatever it was that was wrong with him stayed behind with her.

~

Many months later, as he stumbled blindly through the woods, barefoot, sweating, and hyperventilating, Stede realized all he’d done was put off the inevitable. There was no distance he could run that would let him escape himself.

Once, he was a boy with blood on his face, and upon failing to clean himself of it, he grew into a man with blood on his hands. He hadn’t understood it for the longest time—how the stains seemed so clear to everyone except him. He didn’t know how to wash it off, didn’t know how to stop hurting.

He’d always be the wrong shape for his place in the world. But he wouldn’t let his own coarse edges sand Edward down into something like him. Something broken and raw and painful. He couldn’t bear it.

Still, the guilt gnawed into him. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it was already too late.

~

Sunlight fell through the stained glass window of the front door. Stede stood in the entrée feeling like a stranger in his own home.

A circle of unfamiliar women sat in the parlor, and, oh, there was Mary, rising shakily to his greeting.

She turned to face him. Stede looked at her, at the woman he married, the mother of his children, and he thought back on the years they’d spent together and felt that cavern inside him split open once more as he found himself unable to muster even a single happy memory shared between them.

There must—there must be some, of course. He didn’t spent every moment of the last major fraction of his adult life unhappy. Of course not. But at that moment, watching her stand there and tremble at seeing him, there were simply none that came to mind.

His feet ached. The pain crept all the way up the back of his calves and round his knees, branching into his lower back.

His chest ached, too, and wouldn’t it have been something if his heart were to give out, just then? Some kind of awful irony for him to trek this far, to survive so much, only to keel over on his own doorstep.

Finally home, but only in name.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd fic #stede bonnet #ofmd ficlet #marine blogs #my writing #i might crosspost this one to ao3? idk #i always feel just a bit meh about my shorter pieces #but i really wanted to do a lil ep 9 character exploration #am i a year late? yes.#did it stop me? no.

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legobiwan · 4 months

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The entire Gravity Falls comic is a gem, but this moment in particular has to be one of my absolute favorites.

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #and tbh?#that is 100% how we do it in jersey and i LOVE that ford is taking part in this #yes i am about 5000 years late with this post ahahahhaha

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aquariasmoon · 6 months

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#dmc #dmc5 #THE CHAIR #Vergil #vergil sparda #I feel like if you draw DMC fanart you need to draw this image #Like you gotta #Yes I downloaded the mod #I am literally almost 5 years late

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies.#What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features)#I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status.#'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point!#Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope.#Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life.#She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'.#Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING)#Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her.#She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want.#And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy.#Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow.#Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

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strayklds · 8 months

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ONE YEAR SINCE MAXIDENT ♡ IN/SP RELEASED ON OCTOBER 7TH, 2022

#stray kids #bystay #createskz #userlau #usersa #userfairy #meltracks #userjinnie #skyehi #kpopedit #eyestrain tw #mygifs #am i 3 years late to the barbie edit party? yes but idc #mine*#ot8

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markantonys · 7 months

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Let Rand And Mat Kiss 2k23 feat. the Josha And Dónal MLM Character Cinematic Universe

Caged (short film, 2013) Angel (short film, 2018) Gewoon Vrienden (2018) SAS: Rogue Heroes (2022)

#shoutout to tumblr user gay-hypersexual for sending me the link to the Baby Josha short film oh my god he's so SMOL!!#anyway i think they would be down for rand and mat to kiss and i think they should be allowed to #josha stradowski #donal finn #cauthor #caged #angel #gewoon vrienden #sas rogue heroes #mine #i'm cracking up over how sas rogue heroes is just. hand shots and meaningful glances #but somehow manages to be just as charged as the gifs of straight-up kissing #period dramas just be like that!#and yes ofc i had to include 'lately i am changed by him' i've been going feral over that line for a whole year #wot cast

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dont-offend-the-bees · 2 years

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That bit in the comics where Rose is only wearing a bed sheet in her dream so Morpheus shows up in an emo bed sheet and shows some skin. Solidarity, equality, 10/10 no notes

#Mr. Bees reads Sandman #Yes I'm 30 years late yes I'm reading it cuz the show slapped what you gonna do #Tbh I struggle with comics a bit bc I read them quickly/don't appreciate the pictures enough bc of the speed read instinct #Like I don't particularly enjoy books that power through events too quickly bc I get left behind/lose immersion #And comics for me generally are that problem to the nth degree #So they're not my media of choice #But I am enjoying it #(Morpheus shows some skin on many other occasions btw but this defo felt like a solidarity move on his part)#(it's actually wild that post-ep 1 TV Morpheus covers himself as much as he does)#(petition to get some of the sexy one-shoulder looks into season 2)#mr. bees speaks #the sandman

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korppipoika · 1 year

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Finally read Watership Down so why not paint a book cover about it..!

#Korppipoika #korppipoika art #watership down #el ahrairah #watercolor #watercolor painting #watercolor illustration #rabbit #happy year of rabbit btw!! very late yes but still hehe!#and yes i am itching to re-do this!!! im not happy with the composition :'''3

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amazingrace53 · 9 months

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Spies pining

#napollya #the man from uncle #hilutart #am I late to the party by eight years? Yes #Do I care? No

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tomsmusictaste · 10 months

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Bayside // Heaven + The Good Place (2016 — 2020)

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raspberribee · 4 months

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incoming: 40 straight hours of my new favorite besties

#yes i am 73 years late to the party <3 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fig faeth #adaine abernant #d20 fantasy high

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oifaaa · 9 months

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You know what I can foresee Tim getting so into hating Jason and trying to counter Jason’s 1001 Evil Murder Plans (that he definitely has) that he misses the court date that might have given him more parental rights. So then he just hates Jason even more because obviously this was plan #1002 that he hadn’t managed to counter in time.

And meanwhile Jason is just trying to get used to the fact that none of his favorite food carts are around anymore.

Tim is cursing Jason out for his evil master plan to ruin tims life mean while Jason's just crying in a corner somewhere bc he wants to listen to his music but can't bc he can't figure out how to get the stupid wireless headphones to connect

#ask #anon #im usually against the jason cant understand new tech hc #but #thats usually bc jason is only dead for 6 months in canon #so it feels very silly imo #and yes i know sliding scale blah blah i dont care its stupid #but sinces hes been dead for 20 years in this au #ill allow it #another fun thing about this au ive realised #bc jason was dead for 20 years i can say he was born in the late 80s and just have it set in modern times hehe #also ive designed both kon and Bernard in this au #and am now sad bc im really not gonna use them #tho i guess its just fun for me to know what they look like

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elligater · 1 year

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