#also they kept falling off at first
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Funny story about his pants: it was a blanket he stole off of someone’s laundry and stitched into pants cuz he’s a lil gremlin like that.
#my art#rotg#httyd#jack frost#hijack#frostcup#rise of the guardians#au#he’s a thieving lil shit#but a winter spirit needs pants#what can you do#also they kept falling off at first#so he stole the belt too
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Front facing Wizard Celebi 💪
Went through the teen plushie liker plight of being made fun of for an impulse buy two seconds after and hating this guy for a while because of that but I've come around because look at that face. Look at that cloak and leaf hat. I'd let them curse my bloodline
oh this is fucking adorable. i didn't know a Wizard Celebi aesthetic even existed, unless this is unofficial—the only thing i remember was the thing they did for halloween one time. i like this. this is good. here have some nose ratings about it:
dunno about wimpod. i feel like they're just scared. typically this is not a very Good emotion to have. i think it's in the name. Wimp od
#not pkmn#nose ratings#celebi in general is a pokémon i hold a lot of love for because i always seemed to encounter it as a kid#pokémon 4ever. i think i've talked about before how i used to like. fall asleep to that movie every night. and so i have the whole#fuckin script memorized. but then also at one point i ended up getting a celebi mystery gift from fuckin. gamestop. on pokémon diamond#which was the first event i had ever like. gone to? and i remember getting it and then trynna use it but it kept like. disobeying me#because the OT wasn't me and it was level 100. and i'd only beaten like. 2 gyms#but i thought it hated me and that's why it wouldn't listen to me. so i kept using it in battle and always had it at the front of my party#so that it would like me because i just had no idea you needed to beat the gyms to make it listen to you#and i didn't even know where to go. for the gyms. i was not very good at the game. so i just never got it to “like” me#and i ended up brushing it off as “wow‚ mythical pokémon are really high-maintenance!”
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It's honestly kind of funny when people in Silm fandom go on about how Tolkien's narrative is biased against Fëanor et al., and meanwhile it's like
Tolkien: his name was Curufinwë Fëanáro and he had raven hair and limpid grey eyes like tears (also like my wife, a major fucking hottie) and he was the greatest craftsman of the Elves and a brilliant linguist, he made the Silmarils and invented the tengwar and so many other things, oh and he had a great body and was an incredible warrior, and he and Galadriel were the most amazing of all the Elves in Elf heaven, and he slammed his door in Morgoth's face, and you wouldn't believe what it took to actually defeat him but it was really cool, guys, there were all these Balrogs and
#you know how tolkien talks breathlessly about how amazing and beautiful and cool túrin is while chronicling his disasters?#that's not him being unfairly biased; that's one of his main ways of showing love for a character#the treatment of denethor is also of this type imo—they're very different people but the basic type#of a very cool and powerful and brilliant and beautiful figure who falls tragically but with a weird kind of glamour#is SO much his type#i think that's a large part of why he kept going back to the narn and trying to get it right#and it's part of why the narrative adores fëanor so much (gandalf: imagine. imagine seeing his hands at work O_O)#it's not an uncritical adoration but that's because the character's fuck-ups are part of the appeal in the first place#and yeah i like túrin and denethor a lot more but it's clear that fëanor is treated as the middle-earth apotheosis of that type#anghraine babbles#legendarium fanwank#legendarium blogging#honestly tolkien's treatment of his characters sort of reminds me of my fantastic dm#who will create involved storylines spinning off from dubious player choices rather than#a) just letting them pass or b) aiming to punish them#for him 'your choice has consequences... so many consequences' is fundamentally affectionate#and i feel like tolkien treats his characters similarly tbh
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My toxic trait is unironically liking 2000s-2010s country music 😔
#ra speaks#personal#sorry I’m Nostalgic this morning like#man I remember when my sister had a plastic purple and silver radio she kept by her bed#and she’d have it set to the local country station for the night and I’d fall asleep listening to like#Kenny chesney rodney attkins Miranda lambert Carrie underwood brooks and Dunn etc etc#and off there’s some Toby Keith-esque post 9/11 crap in there but like#*lies down on the floor sobbing* if you’re going thru hell keep on going don’t back down if you’re scared don’t show it you might get out#bEFORE THE DEVIL EVEN KNOWS YOURE THEREEEEEE#and yes yes there’s a lot of oooo I love beer and girls and tractors bullshit#but there’s also really sweet songs like we danced and watching airplanes and I loved her first and it won’t be like this for long and and a#*head in hands* the genre is so varied even post 9/11 it’s not my fault post 2016 it’s all devolved into trash outside of a few independents
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also on the topic of bitb nightmare blunt rotation i do Not think they are particularly romantically interested in one another now nor do i think per say they Will be (if only bc they'll be too preoccupied w the horrors rn and then will probably die) BUT they are all 100% high school exes hope this helps <3
#they Did date and then the Horrors happened and rolan left and it kinda threw the whole group off#rand and kian broke up a lil bit later and then kian Also left and boom 10 years passes#bitb#jrwishipping#og post#also i mean. again if not for the horrors and whatever the fuck was happening w mrs rand. rand and kian Would still fuck#like. as bros even.#^ back to first tag thats also why rand's Extra mean to rolan leaving bc its what made everything Fall Apart#esp in a time when like. he wouldve Wanted those he loved close and then a boyf breaks things off and Leaves.#and even if they kept trying a mix of trauma and just the dynamic being Different now led them to break up
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so desperate for the mando rep & titles but at what cost. ruhnuk is navigational hell
#gigi and i were in shambles trying to finally do them for the first time tonight#we barely finished the weekly because we kept getting lost#and kai kept both dying to fall damage and not dying to enemies#my sleepy brain couldn’t remember /stuck either and i panic typed WHAT’S THE DIE COMMAND at her#after mowing down 27462746 mobs on my speeder since tanks simply don’t fall off#gigi also rezzed me when i fell off a cliff that she survived the drop only for it to send me back to a QT point. for some reason#dani plays swtor#star wars#game: the old republic
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Yeah I did some snowboarding yesterday. Yeah that was the first snow sport I’ve ever tried yeah it was really fun. Yeah I do think it’s something I’ll try to get better at when I live somewhere with weather conditions a bit more conducive to snow, manmade or real. Yeah I slept really well afterwards one question though. Why does every single muscle in my body hurt.
#I KNOW why I’m just upset about it#I slept like 10 hours took a hot shower ate good food it hurtssss#also I fell on my ass a couple time FUCKING. OUCH.#ouchie#feels bruised I know it’s not but :(#I should’ve tried skiing first but it was fun I will snowboard again#longboarding is better though smh#WHY DID FALLING ON SNOW HURT MORE THAN FALLING ON MY STREET. ASPHALT. WHAT#MAKES NO SENSE.#also I longboard in like one of the flattest states ever and I was snowboarding in NC it was So fast holy shit#I also nicked my thumb on the metal siding on accident that also hurts more and bled more than I thought#I had fallen after getting off the little lift and my board kept Moving underneath me and I stopped it Directly with my thumb#not a great idea#it’s fine though I’m thriving it was so cool
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thinking abt Sauron’s hair getting whiter like hot metal as the Ages progress because his ire grows bigger with each passing day
#as in it was red/orange back in the 2nd Age or something#and then it got slowly more yellow as things kept progressing and his ego got bigger lol#and it ended in white possibly between the Fall of Númenor when he was at his most idiotic for pulling that stunt off#also ig that would make him look like he was older because haha evil somehow making First Borns age or whatever idk man#merry habla#Silmarillion
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!
#okay did something somewhat impulsive and bad but i also took my anxiety meds and ate food which i count as wins#i feel like im tottering on the edge of a cliff and who knows if ill fall off????#my mom kinda made me more upset too she kept giving me all these things i SHOULD do to help#like i should eat i should shower i should work in my workbook and use my coping tools and im like#dont u get???? that that is exhausting??? that they usually dont work the first time i do them so i have to keep doing them????#when i dont have the energy to cook mac n cheese??#and i like dont want to be alone but i dont want to be around someone like this rn#anyways. im watching a comfort show#mine#vent
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Writing my own experiences is honestly such a trip...
#like even though they're my OWN experiences it doesnt feel REAL#like wow how fake#its so weird bc im simply basing it off of what happened to me and how i deal with it#but then i worry that people find it unrealistic#or they'll see even just the fic and tags without reading it and ridicule it for being written#im really thinking abt trying therapy again tbh. but finding time between work and the fact i cannot drive...#idk. i really truly dont....#im falling apart. the days are going by and im having less and less of a will to continue. im trying to find healthy#outlets for coping but then anxiety shoots through the roof#it doesnt help that the first two times i was in therapy it made everything worse#the first was 100% against my will bc of a simple misunderstanding blown way out of proportion at my college#and the 2nd was me p much being forced into it after i tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital lol#i tried overdosing. it hurts the stomach more than anything tbh.#the therapist just kept staring at me. like never taking her eyes off of me and kept asking how i felt#i felt more like a fucking test subject tbh. she also didnt sound Human. her tone was like i was just another patient#nothing more than routine. and she didnt Listen to what i said. then i was charged way too much despite being told it would be free#so i dropped out lol#anyway i got way off topic. um what was this abt#oh yeah my fear of fic venting bc im terrified of being ridiculed . yeah yeah yeah.
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i think there is nothing like when youre playing genshin for the very very first time especially if you know nothing whatsoever. the main reason i got stuck in that one puddle when i first played is bc i was freaking out over the graphics and stuff and when i realized that walking on grass vs walking on pathways makes different sounds and you can leave footprints on wet sand and you can splash the water and there were APPLES.... god i used to collect SO MANY sweet flowers and mushrooms and stuff just bc i found them so fascinating. miss that feeling of wonder so bad
#i got it again when i played b/otw#but yeah when p/aimon was trying to get me to follow her i kept on getting off trail to collect freaking Mushrooms 😭😭#i got SO AMPED when i first got a matsutake bc i tbink the description saya 'uncommon' or somethibg so i was like. >:O!!!!#now its just. i am dying all of the time and fighting is boring and i am burnt out and tired. 😔#also be honest how many of you also immediately jumped off the cliff when you get taken there in the tutorial.#i was just curious about fall damage but uhhhhhhghhhshwjwjsnam Sudden Death
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IM SO FUCKING PISSED RN . tonight was bad but good but bad
also ran out of tag space so rest of tags in rb
#the only other autistic person amongst my friends was like one of my closest friends and i just . ughh#basically we used to hang out a lot esp into sunrise etc and hed tell me abt his problems andnstuff and i just#had to delay my exam and thenfire and everything and i thought hed be there for me too and we all met up last night and i was like#hi i need to vent and he said . and i quote . get in line bitch . which was bad and also weird#he then proceeded to leave without a word after like an hour . and my other friends said he was just in a bad mood etc but whatever it felt#weird . and i texted him that night to check up saying hey u seemed a bit upset are u ok etc and he ignored it#while responding to stuff on the GC . and i was obviously upset bc he said that and proceeded to ignore the text etc#and what he said wasnt ok . anyway tonight we met up and he showed up super late and like . didnt talk to me the whole time despite making#direct eye contact and when we were leaving the bar i literally told him hey stop being a dick bro . like w a smile but like yh#and he kind of got rly upset and his first question was is this bc i talked to K and not you (K being one of the only girls in the group)#(who also treated me weirdly but whom i still care for a lot which he should Know) and i said no its bc you ignored my text after being rly#rude last night. meanwhile my friend with whom i had a kind of deal w for like . not smoking and stuff . took a long drag off a cigarette#and obviously i just saw it happen and his hair being too messy and idk it was like an instant heartbreak kind of moment like why would u#do this you said youd never smoke so i kind of just . looked at him and asked him why hes doing this and he looked back and kept smoking .#upsetting situation but the friend i was talking abt first took this as me walking away from him or whatever ?? like bro ? you see this#happening in front of you#anyway a bit later on into the walk i fall back w him and i ask if he wants to talk and he literally fucking#proceeds to say how he left that night bc his discord friends were doing smth better or whatever and he was standing behind me and i didnt#talk to him first and how he doesnt want to talk and hes sick of talking to people meanwhile im out here being a bitch#and as hes saying all of this hes getting louder so i tell him to not raise his voice bc our friends are in front of us#and i dont want this to be a fight i just wajted to talk to him and he blows up even louder like NO IM NOT GOING TO LOWER MY VOICE IM#TRYING TO MAKE A POINT and he keeps going abt how im being bitchy and he was just right there and i apparently ignored him or whatever .#and like i just let him talk bc i was like . hes not calming down so im gonna let him say whatever and then respond calmly . he then#proceeds to leave . just turns around and leaves w no chance for me to say anything#i had bigger concerns (i.e. drunk friend) but it was still so fucking confusing like ??? i texted u if ur ok and u ignored it why is it#now on me to approach u irl again ? what gives u the right to raise ur voice at me and call me a bitch ?#what gives u the right to be a dick to us but esp to tell me to get in line just bc ur friends are on discord and ppl are chewing too loud?#like what the FUCK bro. but anyway after that we went to a park and i talked to my friends friend and we had a lot in common and it was#like 1-3 AM but ppl kept coming and going and laying down and sitting on the swings and playing old music#and staring at the stars there were so so many stars . i checked up on my friend who smoked and made sure he was ok etc (S
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met alphinaud’s sister right after doing heavensward and I really Really just wanted to absolutely dunk on him to her
#owen plays ffxiv#i wanted to dunk on him to her so badly#I like her. she’s got the older twin vibes#I see how they’re twins and got the similarities but also the differences#ngl looking back alphinaud was kinda like. hmm a prick when you first meet him#but he’s grown on me so much ;—;#I’ve also been poking at a glamor for this event#but I can’t pick on bc it’s like. i wanna wear the other one#but it’s like hmm bad memories#my friend and I were running primal trials for the mounts#and I kept getting this fucking leviathan played#and we were joking that I could just take them to the dinner w aymeric#like. here you got bud <3 plates <3 from this shitty trial#if it wasn’t falling off the platform it was hysteria and running off the platform#liek. welp there she goes <3#I did get all the mounts and the special one#we’re gonna work on the heavensward birds next and god so help me#perks of having max level friends who will unsync trials with you#I AM ALREADY almost at the level cap for storm blood and haven’t touched an inch of that content I do not need XP#and I don’t careeeee about extreme trials for xp#I would farm them just for weapons to trade for seals#which I have better stuff to farm#(and I could do them for wonderous tails)
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I wiped out so hard tonight my KNEES
#I fell over. so many times. including two of the worst falls I’ve had in a WHILE#god the first one literally like minute and a half on the ice i lose a foot under me and do the splits. crash into the barriers#I am notably Not flexible I cannot do the splits. I don’t know how I kept skating afterwards#the worst fall I have ever had however was right at the end and the thing that made me get off#we were playing a thing and both me and this other guy we’re trying to catch this girl who turned out to be Also going very fast#three way collision all falling forwards on top of each other#we SLID there were BLADES BY MY HEAD im lucky im short im amazed nobody got actually hurt#except like. my knees which are now staging a coup I rlly should ice them but I don’t have ice and I just wanna sleep#but GOD tonight was a mixed bag#i have acquired the instagram and will probably get him on committee if he sends me the thing#also slowly thinking hrm yeah he’s probably straight#anyway good news: i think we’re pretty solidly friends now. bad news: prooobably regrettably heterosexual#idk straight guys shouldn’t be allowed to be cute and funny and good at skating it’s not fair#aaaanyway. it’s my own fault bc I meet most new people through hockey now and this sport is pretty notoriously not queer#it’s a little different here but the people who end up Good are largely not yknow. and I am unfortunately into guys who can skate#also they end up being the people I actually get to talk to with what I do. dumb as hell. they should invent gay hockey players#anyway my assessment is still vibes based there’s time for me to be proven wrong but we will see. it’d be funny if he was queer after this#will think abt texting him on a day that isn’t tomorrow bc tomorrow’s gonna be too much and I would like to have some time to chill sometime#anyway this is my periodic reminder to myself that I’m literally just Allowed to have feelings. fucked up that it’s true#but like it’s just. allowed. and it’s not even that I’m dumb or have bad taste or smth like that and over like what.#almost two years? there have been 5 guys total. mr prick who WAS queer unfortunately. and while the other four did turn out to be straight#that was due to 1. guy literally had rainbow fucking stick tape and Everyone thought he was gay. also I was just kinda fucking around there#2. talked to him like three times before asking him out. agrees to dinner bc he thinks it’s funny. 3. many signals bc bunch of queer friends#still unconfirmed but be does have a girlfriend ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 4. okay maybe I should know better by now but he’s cute okay I’m allowed to hope#it’s not even like I’ve DONE anything other than talk to him dude you’re fine you’re allowed to feel things#aaaanyway. bed now. eepy. will talk to him later. he complimented my hair okay I’m done now going to sleep#very sorry to anyone who reads these tags for just going on abt this guy but also no I’m not scroll down#luke.txt
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I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?
Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.
Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."
Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.
BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.
Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.
ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.
Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:
1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."
2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.
3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.
4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.
5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.
6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.
7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).
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Ik that there's like actual important reasons why america should have better train infrastructure and such but my Selfish Asshole Reason for wanting it is bc I think I should never have to be in an airplane again ever
#planes make me so horribly ill i feel like im fucking decomposing#i was on. a four hour flight today and the turbulence was so bad that at one point it actually felt like we were falling out of the sky#AND THAT FLIGHT DIDNT EVEN GET US TO OUR DESTINATION. IT WAS A FUCKING LAYOVER#and we had to run to catch the next plane bc the first one landed behind schedule and everyone else on it#took way too damn long to get off the plane#also i had to sit next to this random kid and he kept taking his seat belt on and off even when he wasnt getting up#which would've been fine but he didn't seem to grasp the concept of leaving your unbuckled seatbelt across your lap#so whenever he would rebuckle it he would like kinda grope at my thighs to get the fucking belt#and the kid was like ten and spent the whole flight watching spongebob so i really dont think it was on purpose#but it was still very uncomfortable#sorry for the longass tag rant about every little nitpicky thing that bothered me abt this flight#but i didn't even mention that the four hour flight took off at fucking midnight
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