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#also i was so tempted to make you a bill/frank set
egcdeath · 3 years
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secret santa
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pairing: ransom drysdale x f!reader
a/n: this is so self indulgent. SO SELF INDULGENT. more self indulgent than anyone will ever be able to comprehend. before u all read this, i want u to know it was originally supposed to be about training ransom at a job, but then i realized that i nothing about 1. working at a coffee shop and 2. training an employee. also, i am the worst at writing dialogue. so i didn’t write a lot of dialogue LMAO enjoy :)
also, half of this was written at 1 am. just a warning
warnings: coffee shop au, enemies (kinda) to lovers, a lil fluff, not really angst but bitter feelings, kinda slow burn and then all the sudden a fast burn i’m sorry 😭
word count: 2.6k
You woke up to the sound of your alarm rumbling your bedside table sometime around the asscrack of dawn, and rubbed your eyes with a groan. Sometimes, you really couldn’t stand your job, but bills didn’t really pay themselves, did they? You rolled out of bed, and began your dreaded morning routine before heading out to start your opening shift at your local café.
Somewhere between warming up the espresso machine and taking out last night’s trash (which you shouldn’t have had to do in the first place), an older, yet expensive looking car pulled up to the front of the parking lot. You were a bit confused, as you’d never seen this vehicle, and it was quite clear that you weren’t exactly open yet. You watched as a tall man hopped out of the car, wearing a large peacoat and very unnecessary sunglasses. He approached the door, gave it a knock, then waited for you to come open it for him. Reluctantly, you made your way over, and in order to keep yourself safe, began to speak through the glass.
“Can I help you?” You asked in an annoyed tone, then gestured towards the piece of paper that labeled your hours on the door. There was no reason for any customer to be here this early. You looked up at the mystery man and made a rather intense eye contact with him. If this was any indicator of your crowd today, work was going to be far from pleasant.
“Yeah, I was told that I’m starting today?” He had a wicked smirk on his face, like he knew he was getting under your skin already. You hated people like him, and couldn’t believe that he could possibly be your coworker. On the bright side, he probably wouldn’t last long in the first place.
“Well, are you sure you’re here on time? I can’t see any situation where Melissa would schedule to open for your very first shift.” You commented with a furrowed brow.
“Eh, I kinda just figured I’d come in whenever. The girl in my bed was an early riser, so I thought to myself ‘Why not just come in now?’” He said casually.
“Your name?” You inquired, trying to keep your annoyance to yourself, and put on a customer service smile.
“Hugh, or Ransom,” he responded. You turned around, allowed yourself a huff and eye roll, then walked through the kitchen, and into the break room to check if he truly was a new employee, or just some random creep. Sure enough, a bright pink post-it note in very neat handwriting confirmed this man’s existence. You made your way back to the door, unlocked it, and let him in.
“Since you’re here, you should… set down the chairs,” you told him, less than entertained by his presence. You could just tell he was bad news. This Ransom guy was like the textbook definition of a red flag. He talked your ear off while you tried to get through your opening routine, some casual remarks about his last hookup, complaints about how he only got this job because his mother was a regular and good friends with your manager, and how he was threatened to get cut out of his grandfather’s will if he didn’t get employed soon, and what better way to spite your family than to mess up their daily coffees.
Eventually, a few more of your coworkers, along with your manager, Melissa, made it to the café before the morning rush began. You were sitting down at your typical barstool spot, and sipping an iced Americano when Melissa broke the news to you that you would be training the new employee. Upon hearing the news, you audibly groaned, and rubbed your forehead. There was no way that you could handle this man.
-------
During his first week, Ransom not only managed to offer (and successfully give) six customers his phone number, break two mugs, mess up more orders than even Euclid could comprehend, and spill straws a multitude of times all over the floor, but he began to flirt with you relentlessly. You had no idea why you’d become his new target of choice, when it was clear that he could have literally anyone he wanted. Maybe he liked that you were playing hard to get.
If you were being honest, you had to accept that he was handsome. And rich. And the definition of a fuckboy. And since you were being frank with yourself, you had to acknowledge that you were attracted to that ‘toxic and will treat you like shit’ kind of guy. You had a roster of ex boyfriends to prove that for you.
---
It was a pretty slow Tuesday afternoon, which meant you were sitting on your phone until a customer placed an order. Eventually, the little bell above the door chimed, and an older man came through, ordering a dark and bitter drink, then standing by the counter to wait. You began to restock lids while Ransom took care of making the drink, and once it was ready, you passed it over to the man. The man in question took a rather large sip, then promptly spat it out.
“What the fuck is this!” He roared, barely giving you time to react before he proceeded to toss the drink at you, spilling most of the hot content on your apron.
You gasped, gawking down at your scorched and ruined clothing, then up at the customer, who’d turned around with a huff and left, leaving a stream of strong language on his way out. You bit back tears at the whole fiasco, and cringed as both the steamy drink, and your salty tears stung different parts of your body. You turned to look at the barista, who had passed you along the drink, and were met with no other than the white devil himself. It seemed that all the blood had drained from his already otherwise pale face.
“Oh my god, this is all my fault,” he began remorsefully. “Let me make it up to you somehow.”
“Whatever,” you huffed, running a hand through your hair, and shoving Ransom angrily while you more or less stomped into the staff bathroom.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and frowned before bringing up your bundled apron to your face and screaming into it. Stupid fucking customers. Stupid fucking job. Stupid fucking Ransom. It’s like he came to your job just to make it hell. You were tired of cleaning up all these messes for him, and honestly, you wish he’d just quit already. The longer you worked with him, the more tempted you were to pour sugar in his gas tank, then take a club and break all the windows in the Beemer.
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For the next month, your brain was completely elsewhere at work. Your brain was constantly going back and forth with you between finding Ransom hot and horrendous. While the pair of you finished up closing one night, you heard your coworker begin to speak to you as you placed your hand on the keys in your pocket.
“I know you hate me, Y/N. I get it. What that guy did to you was awful, and yes it was my fault, but what else have I done to hurt you?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue. You weren’t even sure how to respond. Ignoring the man and demonizing him in your head had become almost a second nature. “I mean, I think we could’ve been good friends. Even though you seem to think I’m devil incarnate, I think you’re a pretty cool chick-“ he continued before being cut off by you.
“Why do you even care?” you burst out, “Ransom, you just don’t get it do you? You’re just.. a douchebag. I get it, you have your moments where you’re candid and open with people, but half of the time you’re talking, you’re objectifying someone. Or bragging about something you own. Don’t get me wrong, I could get past what you did to me on accident, but you seriously have to work on yourself,” the words just seemed to pour out without your control. “Goodnight, Ransom,” you said simply before leaving the café for the night.
——
Since that day, the tension between you and Ransom had evidently become more thick. Since he was finally finished training with you, you made sure to only speak to him if you absolutely needed to, and even then, you only communicated with him in brief and straightforward answers. Sure, it seemed like a small thing to be upset about, and sure, he’d apologized, but something told you that any excuse to stay away from Ransom was a good excuse.
Though he appeared to be an immoral and selfish man, he seemed genuinely sorry for all that he’d put you through. Occasionally, you’d be sitting in the break room and look up from your phone to see him watching you. When you’d make eye contact, he would look like he wanted to say something to you, but your petty ass would leave, or look back at your phone. He was bad news anyway.
Your boss quickly caught onto what was going on between the two of you, and usually, Melissa didn’t like to participate in petty drama, but your new sour mood was such a stark contrast from before, and it seemed to shift the whole mood of the café.
That afternoon, Melissa called for a team meeting a bit before closing, and suggested a family dinner along with a Secret Santa. She’d said something along the lines of ‘It’s been way too long since we’ve done a team bonding activity, and a gift exchange is perfectly fitting for the Holiday season.’ This did make you perk up, as Melissa had a great taste in restaurants, and you were always down for a good gift exchange.
Melissa then told everyone to write their names down, then put them in a decorative Santa hat. You and your coworkers obliged, then began to pass around the hat once again in order to draw a name. You really hoped to get Xavier. You had the perfect idea of something he’d love. As you drew a piece of paper from the hat, you imagined the matching pair of fluffy socks for a human and dog that you’d passed by during your last trip to Target. You began to unfold it, thinking of what color he might like the most, when you looked down and saw ‘Ransom’ drawn out in chicken scratch.
You tried your best to mask your annoyance at who you received, but on the inside, you were seething. You mentally cursed the universe out while you pulled on your coat, and grimaced to yourself once you got out to your car. How were you supposed to get this asshole a gift?
—-
The week leading up to the exchange went fairly well for you, although it was getting a bit exhausting to be so mad at Ransom all the time. You tried to be less harsh with him, considering you needed to learn more about him in order to get him a somewhat decent gift for your exchange.
He’d seem to have taken your conversation with him to heart, and began to talk less and less about other girls when he was working with you. He didn’t comment on how well your jeans fit you, and you noticed that he’d often overextend himself in order to help you with (pretty basic) daily aspects of the job. Ransom would ask you questions about yourself, and your family, and speak less about himself. If you were honest with yourself, he was becoming a better man. And the best part was, he seemed to be doing it just for you. The thought of which brought heat to your face.
On the night of the exchange, you threw on a hideous and scratchy Christmas sweater before picking up your neatly wrapped gift for Ransom. You truly hoped that he’d like it, even though it certainly wasn’t the most expensive item. You bid farewell to your cat, then went on your way to the restaurant. You had to admit, you were a bit late. So it should’ve been no surprise when you arrived, and found that the only seat left at the table was next to Ransom. You gave him a cordial smile before sitting down and ordering yourself a glass of Merlot.
Something about being so close to him was kind of riling you up. The strong timbre sent coming off of him was making your whole body feel slightly warmer than normal, and you tried to ignore this strange sensation while you talked and joked with your coworkers. At one point, Ransom leaned in nice and close to you, and began to speak to you.
“Jesus Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as hideous as Karmen’s sweatshirt,” he whispered right into the shell of your ear. Maybe it was the wine talking, but that simple action sent a whole chill through your body, and made you flush even harder than you’d flushed before. You let out a little giggle and nodded in agreement, looking across the table at her very ugly sweater.
“To be fair, the whole point of this was to wear something really ugly,” you turned your head back to where it was before, only to find that Ransom had somehow moved even closer to you.
“I just don’t know where you find something like that,” he commented, gazing much too deep into your eyes. You swore you felt the room shift after he began looking at you like that. There was about a 20% chance that you’d be able to keep your panties on after this kind of exchange. Luckily for you, a waitress broke the tension for you, setting down a few plates for everyone, then bidding them farewell. Damn.
The food was amazing, and didn’t last very long, meaning that it was time to pass gifts around sooner than later. You watched as Amy received a gift card from Sophie, Emily opened a plethora of chocolates gifted to her by Melissa, and Xander whiffed a candle given to him by Kennedy, then, it was your turn. You glanced around the table before you felt the arm next to you reach down, then hand you an oversized gift bag.
“I hope you like it,” Ransom said with a shy smile. You casually felt your cheeks on your way to pull out the very large item. You found it was a very large, and soft, hand knit blanket. It looked like it could’ve cost a small fortune, and you immediately found yourself embarrassed.
“Oh wow. This is perfect! Thank you so much,” you grinned over at your coworker, who seemed to be blushing himself. “Well, I guess I should probably give you this then,” you chuckled awkwardly before passing him your wrapped package. He tore it open barbarically, then began to laugh. Of all the gifts in the world, you two had gotten each other somewhat similar items. Sure, it wasn’t hand knit with the love of some grandma who ran a small business on Etsy, but it was the thought that counts.
“I love it, Y/N,” he exclaimed, looking deep into your eyes once again. He ran his fingers through the soft fabric, then set a hand on your arm. In that moment, it felt like time stopped. It was just you two, sitting in a quiet room, enjoying the presence of each other. You don’t even know what had gotten into you, but before you knew it, you felt a nose pressed up against yours, and a billion butterflies erupt out of your stomach. You heard a few grimaces from your coworkers at the sappy, Hallmark-like moment but what could you say.
Maybe Ransom was not that bad after all.
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Riding On
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Ch3: What Happens in Vegas...
Summary: We catch up with what Fliss got up to whilst Frank was living it up in Vegas, before they both face up to the events of the weekend, because this time what happened in Vegas certainly doesn’t stay there…
Warnings: Bad Language words.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 2
Just when it seems like everything’s evened out, and the balance seems serene, see the fool I’ll be, still running ‘round on the flesh rampage.
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“Hey!” Fliss greeted Bonnie as she walked over to where the woman was supervising the after school club.
“Hiya!” Bonnie smiled “You heard from Frank today?”
“Yeah, before.” Fliss smiled, before she looked and Bonnie “I gotta say, that video of Simon…”
“He’s an idiot.” Bonnie shook her head “Punching his own reflection…I mean…”
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages.” Fliss giggled and Bonnie snorted, shaking her head again. At that point Mary came running over, her cheeks pink
“Hey Lissy.” “Hey sweetheart, you ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, because I got a surprise for you!”
“Me?”
“Yup!”
“Where is it?”
“We gotta go pick it up.”
“Oh, ok…bye Miss Stevenson!”
“See you Mary!” Bonnie smiled as she started to head off to Fliss’ car “Hey, give me a call…we can do lunch Sunday before the boys get back.”
“Sure.” Fliss nodded. “I’ll text you.”
With a final goodbye she headed after Mary and climbed into the driver’s side.
“Where’s Thor?” Mary asked.
“He’s at Mum and Dad’s with Rupert and Fred.” she said, “I thought after our surprise we could stay there for the weekend, use the pool and the Cinema Room…”
“Ok…” Mary looked at her suspiciously.
“I promise you’re gonna like it!”
“Just tell me.” Mary looked at her as Fliss set off driving.
“Sure you wanna know?”
“You’re as bad as Frank.” The girl rolled her eyes and Fliss laughed.
“We’re going to pick Steve up from the airport.”
Mary’s face split into a huge grin, it was a well-known fact that besides Bill, Fliss’ brother was basically her favourite person that wasn’t Frank on the planet.
“Uncle Steeby is coming to stay?” she looked at Fliss.
“Yup for a whole month. He has some work in Orlando and Tampa so he’s gonna be staying in town for a while, and then in Easter Sian and the twins are flying over.”
“Oh man!” Mary grinned, laying her head back on the seat “This is great!”
Mary’s excitement seemed to increase the nearer they got to the Airport, and Fliss had to practically hold her down in the seat as she parked the car, telling her to wait a second. Once she’d managed to park they headed into the arrivals lounge and little after 15 minutes later her brother appeared, towing his suitcase behind him.
“Hey Stack!” he grinned as Mary flung herself at him and he swept her up in a hug “How’s it hanging?” “Same old, same old!” she grinned and he let out a laugh before he placed her down and turned to Fliss.
“Oh my God!” he smiled as Fliss walked over to him “Look at you!”
She laughed “I know…” with a nod she looked down “Nothing until 16 weeks and then wham…now I feel like it’s getting bigger every day.”
He pulled her into his arms and gave her the usual bear hug before the three of them headed out to the car. On the way back to the house, Steve filled Fliss in on what exactly he was doing. The construction company he owned was in the running for a very big job in Orlando building a complete village of holiday villas not far from Lake Buena Vista. As such he was out here to meet a few people and attend the Bidders Conference, whilst also taking a look at some potential office buildings in Lakeland.
“If we win this tender Fliss, it’s going to be huge.” he smiled at her “We’re talking millions.”
“That’s great.” she smiled “You’ve really blown it up since Dad handed over the reins, I’m really pleased for you!”
“I got lucky.”
“No, it was hard work.” Fliss glanced at him.
“Frank says you make your own luck.” Mary added.
“See!” Fliss grinned at her brother. “So, would you guys move out here or…”
“I’m tempted.” he said, “As with anything, I’ll need a project team who can oversee the local suppliers and labour that type of thing, manage the schedules and what not…but our head offices will still be in Liverpool, so I’m undecided. Either way I’ll be spending a lot more time here, certainly in the first 12 months whilst it all gets up and running.”
“How does Sian feel about it?”
“She’s excited. She knows what it means to me, to the business. Obviously she realises it means more time apart as I’ll be out here quite often but…”
“Is it selfish of me to be happy about that?” Fliss smiled and Steve laughed.
“Nope, because we all know I’m the best big brother in the world.”
Fliss grinned and shook her head as Mary began to enthusiastically talk to Steve about school and University and the Girl Scout group she was in. Fliss interjected whenever she needed to but other than that she was happy to let the two of them chat away.
Once home Steve headed over to the Annex where he would be staying whilst Mary went outside to play with the dogs, Fred happy to oversee things from his spot on a chair on the large decking platform which-over looked the pool area. Steve appeared an hour or so later having showered and changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, Fliss grinning at him, calling him a tourist. Whilst it wasn’t cold by cold standards, she found it chillier having grown used to the blazing heat of the summer. Steve, who had come from the chilly early spring in England, simply rolled his eyes and handed her the box he had in his hand.
“It’s a present from me and Sian.” he smiled.
Fliss glanced down and smiled at the selection box of Pukka Tea bags.
“Steeby this is great!” she beamed “I’ve been struggling to find them out here since Sian recommended them.”
She gently opened the box and glanced at the various herbal teas. There were 12 different flavours such as Peppermint and Liquorice, Ginger and Manuka Honey, Chamomile and Rose to name but a few. There was even a handwritten note inside from Sian, explaining which ones had helped her with various symptoms she felt during her pregnancy. She closed the purple and gold box and looked up at Steve, tears in her eyes.
“Hey, come on Titch!” he laughed as she fell into his arms, chuckling herself at her ridiculous tears “It’s just tea bags.” “It’s really thoughtful, thank you.” she stepped back, wiping her eyes “Fucking hormones.” Steve chuckled, rubbing her back slightly before she turned and began pulling the rest of the stuff out for dinner.
“Wanna help?” she asked.
“You really want me to?” He smirked “I’ve still not forgot the time we made brownies and set fire to the curtains at the Farm house.” “Ok, first off those curtains were rank, as Mum said when Dad came home and hit the roof, second off, they were pot brownies and we were already stoned after smoking a load! Cooking and being high do not mix.”
Steve laughed “God, poor Mum didn’t know what to do. Came home, found us both on the floor eating them, with burnt curtains hanging at the window.” “She knew we were stoned, she told me.” Fliss grinned, handing Steve a knife “Said she lied to dad that it had been her to get us off the hook.” “Well that didn’t work because Dad told me he knew full well it was us. He made me pay for the new curtains and told me that if I ever let you smoke that stuff again he was going to beat me within an inch of my life.” Fliss laughed “He was so full of shit, he never raised a hand to either of us. Never would either.” “No, but the threat was there. Even if I was 22 at the time, scared the shit out of me.”
“Thankfully we both grew up since then, huh?” Fliss shrugged, as she grabbed a chopping board to start carving up the meat for the tacos.
“Hmmm, debatable.” Steve nudged her. “Although I can safely say I haven’t done weed since the twins were born…as tempting as it was at times.”
“I can’t remember the last time I did.” Fliss mused “Was certainly before I moved to Boston.” “Frankie boy not dabble every now and then?”
“Nope.” Fliss said “He doesn’t smoke and says the last time he did pot it made him pull a whitey so he steers clear. Hardest thing he does now is Bourbon.” “Huh…” Steve mused “I had him pegged as a bit of wild one…” “He’s not.” Fliss shook her head “I mean he cuts loose when we go out, and I dread to think about the states he’s gonna be in this weekend but…” she shrugged “He’s well adjusted, sensible, level headed…can be a bit of a child at times but, show me a man who isn’t?” Steve shot her a look and she chuckled.
“So, how is he?” Steve asked. “Seems like ages since I spoke to him.” “He’s good.” Fliss smiled “His work is going well. He’s really excited about the baby.” her hand dropped to her bump. “We’re gonna start looking for houses now our landlord had said he won’t hold us to our contract. Frankie wants to move as soon as we can so he can get a nursery ready but I’m not bothered. Not like we’ll need the extra space really until a few months after it’s born.”
“You’d be surprised.” Steve raised an eyebrow “Babies accumulate a lot of stuff…” “Well, we’ll manage either way.” Fliss shrugged “Most important thing is they’re safe and happy. We can figure the rest out as we go.” “You gonna buy or…” “Hopefully.” Fliss nodded “With work and stuff now we shouldn’t have a problem borrowing now but, I don’t know, we’re going to look into it properly once Jake’s wedding is out of the way in a few weeks.”
Steve nodded and took a deep breath “You know, I wasn’t sure about you two at first, not because I didn’t like Frank, I did, I mean I do but, well, I just thought after Dickhead that you needed time to heal and find yourself again.” Fliss looked at him as he chewed the inside of his lip before he turned to her. “But then when I saw you again after your first Christmas together and then over the Easter…I dunno, you just…”
Fliss smiled and looked down, shrugging “I might have healed in a lot of ways before I met Frank but I was still broken Steeb. Finding my way in a new relationship was hard work, it was daunting…I constantly found myself automatically doing things I did with or for John…like you know the first time Frank ever stayed over, in the morning I just got up and was about to make him coffee and he was so puzzled by it.” she shrugged “that could have been so awkward but Frank…well, he didn’t let it feel that way. Simply told me to stay the fuck in bed.” “Don’t wanna know.” Steve pulled a face and Fliss laughed.
“Joking aside, I know it used to bother him because it was almost like on a subconscious level I was comparing the two of them but he never once lost his temper, not really anyway, other than to tell me to stop putting him on a pedestal for being fucking normal…his words, not mine.” she said, framing them in quotation marks with her fingers. “He just gets it. He gets me.” “You finished with the sales pitch?” Steve asked her and she narrowed her eyes at him as he laughed “You don’t need to convince me Titch, I like the guy, I just wasn’t sure you were in the right place but it's obvious he helped you get there.” Fliss smiled.
“And Mum and Dad worship the ground he walks on.” Steve shrugged “Like seriously…”
“Awww you jealous?” Fliss teased and Steve turned, pointing the small knife he was holding at her.
“Behave.” he smirked and Fliss laughed.
“I know what you mean though…whenever we argue they’re both like ‘you need to stop being so hard on him, Lissy’.” She snorted.
“Well, to be fair, you are a little bit…” Steve shrugged “Oh, I dunno, a bit of a pain in the ass at times.” “Fuck you.” she sniggered, as Steve chuckled and once again looked down at her.
“I’m glad you found him. You deserve to be happy.” Fliss smiled, and let her brother give her another hug before she instructed him to get on with his allocated job of dicing onions if they wanted any chance of eating this side of summer. Between the two of them, they had dinner ready in half an hour and the three of them ate inside at the large kitchen table. It wasn’t long after they finished that Frank Face timed. After a conversation with Mary, instructing her once more to behave, she handed the phone to Fliss who smiled at her man and excused herself for a little while so she could go talk to him in private. He told her they were off to play poker, promised he wouldn’t gamble Bean and Mary’s inheritance away, before he apologetically said he needed to go and promised he would message her later, despite her insistence that he didn’t need to keep checking in.
The siblings and Mary, plus animals migrated to the lounge of the villa as Steve yawned, desperately trying to keep himself awake as long as possible to counteract the time difference between Florida and their home in the North West of England. He ended up helping himself to a healthy shot of Bill’s 12 year old Single Malt as Fliss had an apple juice mixed with lemonade, the 2 of them on the couch, the foot stools of the recliners in front of them whilst Mary led on the rug, playing on her computer.
At one point she let out a snigger, and Fliss looked at her suspiciously.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Frank before told me to stop doing maths and do something else…so I’m googling.” she shrugged.
“Googling what?”
“Random pregnancy facts…did you know the longest pregnancy ever recorded was 375 days?”
“What?” Fliss spluttered “That’s over a year!”
Mary grinned “and the shortest was 21 weeks and four days…both babies survived.”
Steve looked at Fliss, chuckling to himself as he took a drink of his scotch.
“Woah, your heart grows bigger too…” Mary said, “and your blood volume increases by 40-50%. That’s pretty cool.”
“No wonder you get fat…” Steve mused and Fliss picked up a cushion, hitting him in the face with it.
“And your voice can change!” Mary looked up at Fliss “Says here that it can get lower…” she studied her for a second before she nodded “Talk to me…” “What do you want me to say?” Fliss asked, dropping her voice deliberately and Mary shook her head, rolling her eyes.
“You’re doing a Frank…” she sing songed.
“Doing a Frank?” Steve looked at his sister.
“Code for being an idiot.” Fliss smiled.
“You’re 18 weeks right?” Mary continued.
“Yeah”
“It says here that’s the time the baby can hear sounds…but it gets more responsive at 25-26 weeks…” she paused “Have you felt Bean move yet?”
“No.” Fliss shook her head, “but apparently for your first baby it’s not uncommon for you not to feel it until after 20 weeks.”
“Huh, they call it quickening…” Mary mused then she grinned “I can’t wait to feel it kicking you.”
“Gee thanks Stack…” Fliss looked at her as Steve let out a loud laugh
“I bloody love this kid!” he grinned and Mary smiled back.
*****
Saturday flew by. Fliss had lessons all day at the yard, Mary hanging around to help Joanne with various tasks before she herself got to ride Monty. She was now fully walking, trotting and cantering off the line competently, so when she asked Fliss if they could try a little jump, seeing as Frank wasn’t there to shit himself Fliss agreed.
Joanna set the cross poles up, leaving the jump at less than half a foot high, but it was enough for what they wanted to do.
“Ok…so…” Fliss said, nudging the ground pole with her foot. “We’re going to just trot him at this for the time being, so when he steps over this pole you have a count of one before he is going to take off. So you need to stand up… and fold forward slightly, giving him the reins. Show me.” Mary obediently stood up, and Fliss moved to help her adjust her legs so they didn’t fling too far back.
“Ok, good…” Fliss nodded. “Joanna’s gonna lead you over the first few times ok, and if you feel like you’re losing your balance then grab hold of this bit at the bottom of his mane. It won’t hurt him, I promise.” “OK, I’m ready…” Mary nodded.
“Alright…” Fliss said, stepping back. Joanna led Monty away, before they picked up trot and ran at the small jump.
“Get ready to fold!” Fliss instructed Mary, as she approached the pole. Doing exactly as she was told Mary leaned forward as Monty took off from the ground and landed perfectly after the jump. Mary sat back up and looked over her shoulder at the jump then to Fliss who gave her the thumbs up.
“Woah, did you see that?” Mary grinned, and Fliss nodded.
“Sure did!” she laughed. “Go again?”
Mary nodded eagerly and Joanna laughed. “Well done kiddo!”
They repeated this 5 or 6 times more before Fliss asked Mary if she wanted to try on her own. Never one to back down she nodded so Joanne unclipped the line and Mary trotted Monty around in a circle before she came at the jump.
“Ok, sit up and look straight between his ears at where you’re going.” Fliss said “Don’t look down…” Mary approached the jump and Fliss held her breath, but needn’t have bothered. Monty, ever the pro took Mary over the poles easily and stopped a few strides at the other side, Mary letting out an excited yell.
“I did it!”
Fliss gave her a huge smile.
“Can we film it and send it to Frank?”
“Damned straight we can!” Fliss grinned, “Do it again.”
She pulled her phone out, filmed Mary once again jumping and then turned her phone off, slipping into her pocket as Mary rode Monty back over.
“That was amazing!” the little girl was beaming ear to ear.
Fliss nodded “Yeah, it was. You did really well Stack. You wanna walk him off now then and we can feed and go home?” Mary nodded as she turned Monty away to let him walk around the outside of the paddock. With a smile she grabbed her phone and sent the footage to Frank. He replied a few minutes later with a load of wide mouthed emojis accompanied by the words “Jesus Christ, what did I say about keeping all 4 legs on the ground?”
“Oh hush Sailor!” she replied “She loved it. Now don’t forget I want a photo of you and Greg in those suits before you go out.” “Yes ma’am…now by my watch it must be nearly 6pm there. Take Mary and Bean home and get some rest.”
Rolling her eyes she responded about him being bossy to which he replied he was entitled to be as she was carrying his kid. A few more jokey messages were shared before Fliss promised to go home and Frank said he would talk to her later.
They grabbed a pizza on the way back and once more joined Steve for dinner, the 3 of them sitting in Bill’s large cinema room later watching Avengers-Age of Ultron. Before it had finished Fliss fell asleep, to be woken by Steve at the end of the film, Mary laughing at her as she groaned and stretched out.
“Sorry!” she grinned and Steve snorted.
“She falls asleep all the time.” Mary laughed “Frank said the baby is like a parasite, sucking all her energy.”
“A parasite?” Fliss snorted indignantly, her hand falling to her bump “You hear that Bean, that’s your dad saying that. Rude…”
“He isn’t wrong though.” Steve laughed. “Sian used to refer to our two as the bloodsuckers.” Shaking her head Fliss stood up and looked at Mary, “Bed, come on. You’re out with Roberta tomorrow.” “Anywhere nice?” Steve asked Mary.
“Just to the beach.” came the reply. “I haven’t seen her in a while so we’re gonna go watch the surfing competition. Roberta likes the shorts the men wear.”
“Sure she does.” Steve smirked, laughing.
“Some of them are brighter than Frank’s shirts.” Mary mused, causing Steve to laugh harder.
They bid him goodnight, getting ready for bed before Fliss tucked Mary in and went to the spare room. She fell asleep not long after but was woken early Sunday morning with a desperate need to pee. Once sorted she text her phone to find a very drunk text from Frank, declaring he loved her and couldn’t wait for Bean to arrive and for them to get married. She shook her head, glancing at the time, it was almost 4 am meaning it was 1am in Vegas. Smiling as she replied half asleep herself, telling him to maybe think about drinking water instead of any more alcohol, she turned over and closed her eyes.
***** Frank sat dumbfounded, his entire body rigid as the person next to him in the bed let out a sigh, and then a deep groan before a head emerged from under the covers.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Frank exhaled and let out a groan as Simon looked at him “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Well, technically this is my room, jerk.” Simon said, blinking “What year is it?
“You scared the shit out of me.” Frank took a deep breath “I thought…”
“You thought you left with the blonde?” Simon peeked up at him “Nah, man. Mind you, wasn’t for her lack of trying. She was all over you. Eventually you told her to fuck off. You were quite rude actually.” Frank let out a sigh, his head falling back against the head board.
Simon sighed turning over, before he peered under the covers. “For the love of- Frank you’re naked.” “I’m aware of that.” Frank groaned.
“Fucking hell…” Simon grimaced, before he rolled out of bed “I’m going for a pee. Put some clothes on.”
Once Simon was in the bathroom he climbed out of bed, his head still spinning as he found his clothes in a pile on the floor. Shoving on his boxers and shirt he looked around the room to see an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a pizza box on the table.
“Where the hell did we go?” He asked Simon as he walked back into the room. “Don’t ask me.” Simon looked at him, falling face down on the bed. “I know we took Greg back to your room…”
“We did?”
“Yeah he was wasted.” Simon nodded, rolling over as Frank flopped back on the bed. “He could hardly walk so the bouncers asked us to take him out of the club. We threw him in your room then…we must have gone back out…hang on…”
With a herculean effort, Simon pushed himself up and found his phone. After a brief scan his eyes widened and he snorted.
“Look.”
He turned the phone round to Frank, who saw a selfie of him and Simon in front of a face down Greg in the hotel room. Simon then began to flick through.
“Oh, ok so we went to a liquor store…” he turned the phone round to show Frank a blurry photo of a shop front “Don’t ask me why I took that and oh my god!”
“What?” Simon pressed play and a load of cheering and singing hit their ears as they watched footage of a small man dressed as a leprechaun dancing in the hotel foyer, Frank on his knees in front of him, laughing.
“I literally have no memory of that…at all.” Frank shook his head.
“Looks like we called Bonnie as well…” Simon snorted “If this angry text message that I got at 3 am is anything to go by.”
“Oh fuck.” Frank hastily reached for his phone, which really didn’t have a lot of battery left, and he hastily scanned his calls. There were none to Fliss, but he had sent her a message. According to her reply she’d been up to use the toilet, so that was ok.
His phone illuminated then with two messages. One from Fliss asking him if he was hungover, as he deserved to be, and another from Greg asking him where the fuck he was. Deciding to reply to Greg first, as he could picture the man stressing he tapped out a quick reply informing him not to worry, he’d be back at the room as soon as he’d managed to dress himself, which at the moment thanks to his head was proving a little difficult, before he replied to Fliss saying he was indeed hungover and he needed to crawl into a hole and die and as ever, reminded her he loved her.
No sooner had he sent it, she was calling him.
“That was quick…” he mumbled, before answering it. “Hey, honey…” “So, wanna tell me exactly where and what you were doing that requires you to get dressed before you go back to your room?” Her voice was steely.
Shit. He had sent the messages to the wrong people.
“Lissy, it’s not what you think.” He instantly began.
“Oh, you have no IDEA what I’m thinking!” her voice grew louder
“No, listen…I’m with Simon.” He chuckled.
“You think this is funny?” She sniffed and Frank grimaced.
“Baby, stop.” He sighed “Look, we ended up back at his room and I passed out here. That message was meant for Greg as he was asking me where I was. Instead he now has a message saying I’m hungover to fuck and that I love him.”
She was silent and he could hear her on the other end of the line rustling something before she spoke again in a quiet voice “So you weren’t with anyone else?”
“No, Sweetheart I wasn’t. Why would I want to be huh? Most beautiful girl in the world waiting for me at home.” At that Simon let out a retching noise “God you make me want to puke, Adler.” “Oh fuck off Si you dick.” He shot back.
“Hey, Fliss.” Simon leaned over to speak down the phone, grabbing Frank’s wrist to stop him moving it. “Now you, Bonnie and me have all seen Frank nekkid...”
“I swear to God I’m gonna punch you in a minute.” Frank mumbled, jerking his arm out of Simon’s reach and pushing him so hard he rolled over and fell off the side of the bed. Frank let out a laugh as Simon groaned and a hand appeared in the air, flipping him off.
“He knows about you and Bonnie?”
“Apparently so.” Frank mused
“So anything else you wanna tell me about what you got up to? Other than naked spooning Si?”
Frank laughed “We found a dancing leprechaun.”
“A dancing leprechaun?” “Yeah, in the hotel somewhere.”
“Standard.” she giggled “So, are you ready to come home now you’ve spent the last few days acting like overgrown frat boys?
“Yes, I’m more than ready to leave Aldrich Whitaker behind”
“Who the fuck is that?”
“My alter ego for last night. He’s a trust fund ass hole.” Frank grinned.
There was a pause before she replied, snorting “Whatever.”
At that point his phone gave him a bleep to tell him he was dangerously low on battery power. “Look, baby, my phones gonna die. I’ll call you when I get it charged ok?”
“Yeah, sure, hey Frankie, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.” She apologised softly.
“It’s okay, I’m not surprised after that message.”
“Yeah but still…” she paused “Can I blame the hormones?”
“If you want.”
“In that case it was totally them.”
He chucked “ Hormones or not, I love you.”
“Love you too sailor”
With that his phone cut off and he glanced down at it, the screen blank as the power had gone. He dropped it on the bed, before leaning back again, his hand against his forehead.
“I’m NEVER coming to Vegas again”
“Oh you not fancy it for your Batchelor party then? Simon teased as he threw Frank a bottle of water from the mini bar.”
“The fuck I do.” Frank shook his head.
*****
“I’d like to say I’m surprised but…” Bonnie shrugged as Fliss snorted, taking a drink of her apple juice from the carton as they walked back to their cars in the setting sun. They’d had dinner at one of the beach bars and stayed simply chatting for half an hour or so, but now Fliss was now ready to head home, shower and bunker down for the rest of the evening until Frank came home.
“I knew he’d end up paralytic.” Fliss said, watching as Mary wandered back towards them, huge ice cream in her hand. “Stack that’s bigger than your head.”
Mary shrugged, handing Fliss her change “It’s good though.” “Mint choc chip?”
“Yup.” she grinned, taking a huge lick. “When’s Frank back?”
“He lands into Tampa in about 4 hours.” Fliss looked at her “Why, you fed up of me already?”
“No, just thinking how peaceful it’s been without him annoying me.”
Fliss grinned and Bonnie gave a chuckle.
“Hey, did you tell Bonnie about you jumping Monty?” Fliss asked.
“Oh, no…” Mary turned to the woman, enthusiastically telling her all about it as Bonnie listened, Fliss walking alongside them, her hand rubbing her bump. She was just thinking about how nice a nap would be right then when Bonnie’s phone went.
“Sorry Mary.” She muttered, frowning at the number. “Hey, Lisa?” Fliss attention turned to Bonnie and she watched carefully as she spoke to Jake’s fiancé, her eyes flicked to her “No, no why…what’s…oh, ok…yeah…”
She cancelled the phone call and instantly tapped at the screen.
“Everything ok?” Fliss frowned.
“Yeah, I just need to check something.” she said. Fliss glanced at Mary who looked at her, shrugging.
“Here…” Fliss handed her the keys to the jeep “Go open the car…” “You know if you want me out of the way just ask.” Mary rolled her eyes.
“Ok I want you out of the way.” Fliss looked down at her. Mary snorted and took the keys, wandering off the 50 yards or so to the jeep. Fliss watched her climb in the back, the door staying open and her legs dangling out of the side. “Bonnie what is it?”
“Nothing…” Bonnie said, far too quickly as she looked up at Fliss. Fliss frowned.
“Bonnie…”
“Honestly, it’s nothing, just something Lisa told me about on facebook so…” Bonnie stuttered slightly so Fliss narrowed her eyes.
“Stop bullshitting.” Fliss said, holding her gaze “What the fuck’s going on?”
“Look, I’m sure it’s not what it seems…” Bonnie sighed, holding out her phone. At those words Fliss felt her heart sink as it could only mean one thing, and she took the phone with a tentative hand. She looked down at it and could see that it was a photo and from the logo in the bottom right hand corner it was from the official club page that the boys had been in on Saturday night.
It showed Jake, Greg, Simon, and a few others that Fliss didn’t recognise but that wasn’t what Bonnie had been referring to. What she had been talking about, as Fliss could clearly see was the background of the shot, which showed Frank with a blonde woman. Her arms were round his neck, his hand was resting on her lower back and their faces inches apart.
“Like I said, I’m sure there’s an innocent explanation…” Bonnie said, but Fliss wasn’t listening. She was busy flicking through the other photos and then she came across another of Frank, the same girl perched on his knee.
She felt sick.
“Sure, perfectly innocent…” Fliss swallowed, handing the phone back to Bonnie, her voice sounding detached. Bonnie looked down at the snap now displayed on the screen and she took a deep breath.
“Look, Fliss, Frank loves you…he was probably just drunk and…” “Touching up some whore that’s sat on his lap.” Fliss shook her head “Save it Bonnie, I gotta go.” “Fliss…”
Fliss turned away from her, the tears stinging her eyes as she headed to the jeep. Taking a deep breath she wiped her eyes, climbing into the driver’s seat.
“Are you ok?” Mary looked at her.
“Yeah, fine…just tired and hormonal.” Fliss shot her a smile.
“We can watch a film when we get back.” Mary suggested “Just chill out?”
“Yeah, yeah we can.” Fliss trying to quell the sick feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with Bean.
Had Frank really cheated on her? She would never in a million years thought he had it in him to be unfaithful, and she was desperate to believe Bonnie, that there was some perfectly innocent explanation for it all. And maybe, just maybe with the first one she could. It could have been taken at a bad moment, when they were just talking to one another, Frank being friendly…but then again why would they have their arms round one another. And as for the second one…the same girl was sat on his fucking lap with her arm looped round his shoulder.
And he looked perfectly comfortable with it. 
She rubbed her bump again and Mary looked at her. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine sweetheart.” she nodded, painting a smile on her face before turning the key in the ignition. “Let’s go home.”
******
Frank sighed as they all trudged through the arrivals lounge, rubbing his eyes. He was ready for a shower and collapse next to his girl, he felt like he had aged a decade over the last 3 days. The rest of them looked just as bad as they headed to the waiting car, Simon’s phone reminding Frank he needed to turn his on to.
“Oh, shit…” he heard Simon groan “No, that’s not…he didn’t…I swear…”
He glanced at Frank who stood still, watching and leaning on the door frame, his own phone in his hand as it started up.
“Yeah, ok…love you…see you soon.” Simon swallowed and cut the call looking at Frank.
“What is it?” Frank looked at him, a cold feeling washing over him “Has something happened to Lissy or Mary? Or the baby, please tell me no…” “No, nothing like that but you need to call Fliss.” he said, “Frank, there’s photos of you and that blonde chick on the club facebook page. Someone tagged me and Greg in them, Lisa saw them and Bonnie and…” “Photos of what?” Frank frowned “I didn’t do anything…” “There’s a photo that makes it look like you are…and one of her on your lap.” Simon said and Frank swallowed, his stomach churning.
“Oh fahk!”
“Just get in the car.” Greg looked at him from where he stood at the other side. “Call her on the way, we’ll back you up…it’s a misunderstanding.”
“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” Jake assured him.
But it wasn’t fine, because no matter how much Frank tried, or how many messages he sent, Liss wasn’t picking up or replying and when he saw the photos, he could understand her being pissed. He would be if it was the other way round because they looked bad. The drive home seemed to take forever, and when the car finally rounded the corner onto Frank’s road they all offered to come in as well and help him explain, but he shook his head, knowing full well if he did that she would feel backed into a corner. No, this was his own dumbass fault. He’d face up to it and talk to her, make her understand how he’d told the girl to back off…she’d listen, she was reasonable.
The house was quiet when he entered and he walked through to the lounge where Fliss was sat on the sofa, her knees bent up beside her. She glanced over the back of the couch and he could see she had been crying, which made him feel like even more of bastard than he did already.
“Lissy, honey, I swear…” “You know, when I asked if there was anything you wanted to tell me, maybe I should have asked if there was something you should tell me” She sniffed, uncurling her legs and standing up and Thor’s ears pricked up from where he had been laying on the rug.
“Listen, those photos, they’re not…” He shook his head. “I told her to get lost, honestly I swear to you.”
He moved towards her, his hands dropping to her hips but she pushed him hard in the chest, stepping back.
“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
“Sweetheart, I swear to God…”
“I don’t wanna hear it Frank.” she shook her head, walking past him. “Where are you going?” he asked, “Lissy, you can’t leave. Please, sweetheart…” “I’m going to bed, but let’s get one thing straight. The only reason I’m not screaming at you right now and storming out, slamming the door behind me is because of Mary.” she spoke calmly, too calmly for the anger which was radiating out of every inch of her body. She looked at Frank, her eyes watering as she shook her head, turning away. “You can take the couch.”
“Lissy…” “Frank…just stop.” Her voice cracked, and with that she left the room, Thor trotting behind, the bedroom door clicking behind her.
Frank stood, rooted to the spot, debating whether or not to follow her, before he decided not to. The last thing he wanted was to anger her that much she stormed out, or worse, she got so stressed something happened to the baby. No, she’d set the boundaries so he decided to respect them, and turned instead to the couch, sinking down onto the cushions his head in his hands.
She was angry, upset and she had the right to be and like he had said in the car, in her position he knew he would feel the same. She needed to sleep, calm down enough so that they could talk and he could explain, get her to listen to him. And then she’d see that it was a huge misunderstanding, even if she remained pissed at him for having the girl so close in the first place, which, ok, he shouldn’t have done but fuck…the thought of cheating hadn’t entered his mind, not once.
He swung his legs up, rubbing his face over his hands. She’d believe him. She had to, because if she didn’t, then had no idea what the fuck he was gonna do.
**** Chapter 4
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renee-writer · 3 years
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Roommate Wanted Chapter 1 Roommate Wanted
A/N As promised, my new story for pride month. Jamie and Jenny are seeking a roommate for one of the restored rooms in Lallybroch. Claire is seeking a way out of the city and her ex. A perfect match. But then she falls for both of them and they for her. Now what?
AO3
She sees the advent in the bulletin board at the front of the shop. “Roommate wanted.” She reads through the other details.  A brother and sister have a room to let in their family home of Lallybroch.  She giggles to herself.  “The house has a name.” She thinks. But the offer is tempting. It is affordable and far away from the city and her troublesome ex. As her job doesn’t have a fixed local, it is perfect. She takes down the details and moves into the store to shop.
 
“Uggg! There has to be someone decent out there.” Jenny Fraser’ throws up her hands in frustration. The advent had been up merely a week but Janet Arabella Fraser is not known for her patience.
 
“There is. He just wasn’t it.” The lad seemed decent enough until he had asked if he could have a spot of Lallybroch”s farm land to grow some pot.  Jamie chuckles to himself as he recalls his sister’s reaction.
 
“And have my own mam come back and haunt me for allowing such on her land! Are ye a full nutter? You can go now.”  The lad had left in a hurry. Jenny in a temper is a sight to behold.
 
They are renting the other finished room to help with the bills as they continue the renovation on the rest of the old estate. So far, the great room, the kitchen, a loo and, the three bedrooms are done.. when finished, Lallybroch will be part home and part museum with a working farm.
 
“Let’s just hope we get someone other then crazies.”
 
“Chill Jenny. It is only been a week.”
 
When Claire gets home, she rings the number she wrote down for the room for rent. A strong Scottish male voice answers. “Hello Fraser residence.”
 
“Hi, I am calling about the room. My name is Claire Beauchamp.”
 
“Hello Claire.. it is still available. When would you like to come look at it? There is an application also. Sorry, I am James Fraser, Jamie.” Something in her voice made him feel swimmy headed.
 
“I can head out there now if that is convenient. Your sister is home?”
 
“Aye, Jenny is here. Would you like to talk to her?”
 
“I would. No offense it is just I was brought up to be safety conscious.”
 
“Non offense taken. It is smart.” She hears him walking. Then a muzzled conversation.
 
“This is Jenny Fraser. You are Claire Beauchamp?”
 
“Yes. Thank you Miss Fraser. I just needed to make sure you were there.”
 
“It is Jenny lass and you are already showing yourself smarter then the others that have asked after the room. Do you know how to get here?”
 
“Right outside Broch Taran, right?”
 
“Just so. Please ring if you get lost.”
 
“I will. Thank you Jenny.”
 
They ring off and she prepares to head out to what she hopes will be her new home.
 
It is far out in the Highlands. As she drives, the tension leaves her body and head. It is beautiful. Having moved here just a few years ago from London, following her ex, she hadn’t been this far out into Scotland yet. Her and Frank had settled in Glasgow and that was that. Some of her clients lived a bit farther out but when she is on a call for a birth, the scenery is the last thing on her mind.
 
With the break-up, she had moved to her own little flat but she still ran into him and her way to often. She had thought about moving back to England but hated leaving her mommies. Now she might not have to.
 
Following her GPS she pulls under an old stone arch and stares at the towering structure in front of her. “Holy shit! No wonder it has a name.” she says before parking and climbing out. She approaches the front stoop and climbs up to the door. Before she can knock, it is opened.
 
The man that stands in front of her is huge.  He is over six feet with a head full of red hair with curls she immediately envies. “Claire Beauchamp?”
 
“Yes, Jamie Fraser?”
 
“Aye, come in and meet my sister.” She is shocked by herself when she does. When she doesn’t insist that she come out first. The instant trust isn’t abused when they are only a few steps in and Jenny comes up.
 
She is her brother’s polar opposite. Where he is tall and light, she is small and dark, with a head full of dark hair and barely standing a bit over five feet. Their eyes are the same though. Bright blue and deep set with the look of a cat’s.
 
“Jenny Fraser, nice to meet you Claire. Please come in.” She takes her hand and she can do nothing but follow her. Jamie follows them.  “We have the great room done, the kitchen, a loo and, the three rooms above us.” She explains as she leads her into it.
 
“Oh!” Claire, partly raised by her archeologist uncle, is  immediately fascinating by the old wood and stone the fireplace with the original mantel, the old furniture truly, just the whole feel of the room. She walks over to the fireplace and squeals in delight at the old copper pot hanging from a hook in it. Jenny and Jamie just watch her.  She drops down to examine it.  “It is at least 300 years old.” She is awed.
 
“Just so lass. Original to the house. The house was built in 1712 by Brian Fraser for his bride. We are slowly restoring her to a home and museum.” Jamie explains.
 
“Amazing.” She runs her hand over the engraved name and date in the mantle. “Brian Fraser 1712” “My Uncle Lamb is an archaeologist. I spent summers and school holidays on digs with him.”
 
“Brilliant! You seem the perfect person to live here then.” Jamie is more enthralled by her by the second. His sister has to keep her eye on business.
 
“We have a bit of paperwork to do first.”
 
“Right.” She turns away from the mantle. “The application.”
 
“Aye.” She sits in the chair across from them and fills it out. It is a standard rental application, with questions about past landlords and job history. She hands it to them when done.
 
“You are a midwife.” Jenny states as they read over it.
 
“Yes. I deliver mostly at my clients homes but occasionally at the birth center. Pre-natal exams are also mainly done at home. Pregnancy isn’t a disease and I don’t treat it as such. Sorry, more then you asked. I was just explaining why I can leave so far outside of Glasgow.”
 
“That is an amazing profession. To bring life into the world.” Jamie comments. Jenny, who had never heard her brother ever speak of anything to do with pregnancy or birth before, gives him a strange look.
 
“It is. Traveling around like I did, I saw the necessity for women to have a good birth provider. To have someone to really be with them during that time. Sorry, it is my passion.”
 
“Why did you leave your last flat? You had been there three years.”
 
“It was Frank and I’s. He is my ex. When I caught him in our bed with his assistant, he is a professor, well, I just couldn’t stay there anymore. I moved into my own but, I keep running into him everywhere. Him and her. Makes it hard to move on. A bit easier if I don’t live on the city. Thought of moving back to London but don’t want to leave my mommies.”
 
“I am so sorry Claire. Men can be real clodheids. “
 
“That they can Jenny.” They grin at each other.
 
“Would you like to see the room?”
 
“One more question Jamie.” She looks back to her. “You wouldn’t ever wish to grow pot here would you?”
 
Claire looks at her shocked. “Ah no!”
 
They explain the reason she asked that. She laughs. “I can imagine the look on his face when you got on him!” she says through her giggles.
 
“It was epic..”
 
They then take her to see the room. It is perfect. She signs the lease and shakes both their hands. Then she heads to her old flat and prepares to move.
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365days365movies · 3 years
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February 7, 2021: Emma. (2020)
Another late one, people! Tomorrow might be a bit later, too, full warning. Like I said, school’s back in session, and I got students to teach and class to prepare!
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When I was a kid, I was a pretty avid reader, mostly due to my mom’s drive to get me to be an avid reader. I read Shakespeare from an early age, which might be why I like it so much, and why I remember it so well. 
I also read Jane Austen’s Emma when I was 10 years old. On a related note, I remember none of Jane Austen’s Emma. On another related note, I’m fairly certain that I saw its most famous adaptation, Clueless, and I don’t remember that either.
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I’m tempted to rewatch that one, since I don’t remember it AT ALL, but I figure that I’m going to place a more direct adaptation of the work first on my list of priorities. And so, one of the ONLY movies to come out last year is one my list, starring an up-and-coming “it girl,” Anya Taylor-Joy.
From what I can tell, this is a fairly popular movie on this platform, so I’m looking forward to watching it, despite knowing NOTHING about it, other than the fact that it’s a romance drama, and based off of a classic British novel by Jane Austen. Shall we? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Recap
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Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) lives in the 1815 English countryside, with her father, Mr. Woodhouse (Bill Nighy), and her caretaker, Mrs. Taylor (Gemma Whelan). However, this is about to change, as she is to marry Mr. Weston (Rupert Graves) that day.
Emma is a sweet girl, who seems to be ale to predict things to pass. She also set up the present marriage, although she seems not to want one for herself. However, she also seems interested in the whereabouts of Mr. Taylor’s son, Frank. He never shows up, though.
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Meanwhile, the Woodhouses are visited by George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), whom her father favors, and whom Emma seems to clash with. And Imma call it now: they totally end up together in the end. I mean, c’mon.
Emma’s trying to replace Mrs. Weston nee Taylor as a governness, despite the fact that her father doesn’t want it. Emma finds Harriet Smith (Mia Goth), a young women whom she goes to school with, and apparently might be the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman. She’s also interested in setting Harriet up, as Emma prides her skills as a matchmaker.
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However, Harriet’s already interested in a local farmer, Robert Martin (Connor Swindels), but Emma’s trying to set her up with a local vicar, Elton (Josh O’Connor). They go to meet Mrs. Weston, and Emma introduces herself to Elton, who she believes likes her in return.
The next day, Emma and Harriet go to the store, where the gossipy busybody Miss Bates (Miranda Hart) comes to speak with the VERY unwilling Emma, and the considerably more interested Harriet. Miss Bates is speaking up her niece, Jane, although Emma certainly doesn’t seen to care nearly as much as Miss Bates thinks she does.
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On the way home, Harriet and Emma encounter Robert Martin, and Emma's definitely not a fan of that potential relationship. Instead, she regularly puts down Mr. Martin, and talks up Vicar Elton.
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As Elton and Harriet begin getting closer, and Emma seems to be vindicated in support of the relationship she set up, Knightley’s...not impressed. In a conversation with Mrs. Weston, he basically says that she gets high on flattery, and while she isn’t necessarily a true narcissist, she still NEEDS approval from her peers and others. That’s why she’s setting up Harriet, who feeds her constant flattery.
In addition, her whole “never going to get married” thing doesn’t seem to fly with George, here, who’d like her to fall in love with someone who isn’t...well, a simp, let’s be honest here. And honestly, this is already an interesting character dissection, and I can dig it.
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Knightley complicates matters for Emma, when he convinces Martin to write a letter, asking for Harriet’s hand in marriage. However, due to Emma’s subtle manipulations, she convinces Harriet to refuse the proposal, despite the fact that she clearly wants to say yes. And while Emma might be beautiful, and quite smart...yeah, she’s a bitch. Or, at the very least, she acts like one for her own benefit.
Knightley, pissed off about this whole thing, confronts Emma about her manipulations, and states that Martin might be the ideal match for Harriet. After calling her out, and warning her that Elton miiiiiiight be a bit of a ladies’ man, and that he’s certainly the wrong match for Harriet in the end. Emma admits that she mostly wants to keep Harriet for herself.
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Autumn turns to Winter, and Emma’s older sister Isabella Knightley (Chloe Pirrie), and her husband John Knightley (Oliver Chris) (and George’s younger brother) come to visit Emma and her father for the holidays. George and Emma make amends, although Emma still won’t admit that she may have been wrong.
Christmas Day comes, and Harriet is sick, while Frank Churchill once again neglects to appear at the house of his father and new wife. George berates his neglect of his familial duties, while Emma argues in his favor, obviously harboring a crush on him still.
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At dinner, Elton makes a remark about snow, causing LITERALLY EVERYBODY to leave the party prematurely, and Emma’s father accidentally leaves her behind. Elton, however, offers to give her a ride in his carriage. And in the carriage, he reveals that not only does he actually love Emma, but that he doesn’t care for Harriet at fucking ALL. Fuckin’ WHOOF.
Looks like Elton’s misread EVERY POSSIBLE SIGNAL, and Emma FUCKED UP SOMETHING FIERCE. Harriet is quite saddened by this, and is about to destroy a portrait of herself that Emma made for her. However, Emma instead keeps it. Elton disappears for a number of weeks, just as the niece of Miss Bates, Jane Fairfax (Amber Anderson) suddenly reappears.
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At dinner, it’s revealed that Jane appears to know Frank Churchill, as they live in the same place. During a piano performance of Jane’s that’s WAY BETTER than Emma’s performance, it’s also revealed that Emma’s been compared to her all of her life, giving her some fat, fat insecurities!
After an awkward encounter with Mr. Martin, Harriet goes to the Martin household to visit his sisters. Meanwhile, the long-awaited arrival of Frank Churchill (Callum Turner) comes, and Emma is unsurprisingly smitten with him. He asks her for a dance at an upcoming dinner, and she accepts.
Knightley is, of course, not impressed with the worldly gentleman. Meanwhile, someone has apparently delivered a pianoforte to Jane Fairfax, and it’s pretty goddamn obvious that it was Frank Churchill. Although, it’s possible that it was George Knightley, who’s been matched to her by Mrs. Weston.
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And it’s at this point that I should point out that GODDAMN THIS IS A SOAP-OPERA OF A MOVIE. The hyper-detailed intentions and events, all happening within the confines of high society and etiquette are both overly intricate, while also managing to be...weirdly enrapturing.
The next morning, after a six-week absence, Elton’s come back to town with brand new wife, Augusta Elton (Tanya Reynolds) in tow. Augusta matches Emma’s passive-aggressiveness measure-for-goddamn-measure, which, yeah, PISSES EMMA OFF.
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But it’s still good news on the horizon, as Frank’s appearance has prompted the Westons to hold a ball. While Emma and Frank seem to be getting along, Elton is prevented to opportunity to dance with Harriet, only to refuse LIKE AN ABSOLUTE TAINT. On the verge of tears, Harriet’s rescued by George, and they dance alongside the rest of the partygoers.
Emma shows his appreciation for this, and Knightley returns his appreciation for her friendship with Harriet, who’s way goddamn better than Augusta. The two decide to dance together, and the two basically fall in love RIGHT GODDAMN THERE AND I AM GODDAMN HERE FOR IT.
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Which sucks, because I’m, what, a little more than halfway in? No way it’s this easy.
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And as Knightley and Emma realize their feelings the next day, they actually run towards each other, SEE each other...and then get iterrupted by Frank carrying Harriet post-her being attacked by muggers GOD FUCKING DAMMIT REALLY?
Plus, it looks like Harriet might be in love with Knightley now, after the previous night. HowEVER, since the previous night, Emma is now in love with Knightley, and believes that Harriet’s feelings are directed towards her rescuer, Frank Churchill. But Frank’s in love with Jane. Like, for sure he’s in love with Jane. And Knightley’s in love with Emma, although Mrs. Weston believes that he’s in love with ane, as he leant her his chariot the previous night, although he DIDN’T do that, and the chariot (and piano) must’ve come from Frank, who’s actually in love with her, not Harriet, as Emma believes. YOU GOT THAT? BECAUSE I’M ASTONISHED THAT I DO
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Summer comes, and there seemingly no major changes to the love lives of our main characters. Can’t say that for George’s mansion, as he’s unveiled all of the paintings in the place.
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Might be wrong about the progression of relationship thing, as George and Harriet appear to be getting along, and Emma and George suddenly...aren’t. And THEN, Jane tells Ema that she’s feeling super down at the moment, and leaves. Which is when Frank shows up, which Emma appears to not be super happy about.
Later, at a luncheon, Emma takes out her emotions upon Miss Bates who, while kind of annoying during the film, doesn’t deserve the insult lobbied her way by Emma. Afterwards, George DESTROYS her, and she...she gets it. She’s been an asshole.
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After a good cry, she goes to apologize to Miss Bates, who immediately forgives her, as she tends to do. It’s also pretty quickly revealed after that that we find out that Frank has ALWAYS been engaged to Jane, since he arrived to Highbury. AND, Emma finally findss out that Harriet’s in love with George, not Frank. Which...yeah, Emma’s not a huge fan of, for obvious reasons.
However, Emma points out that George might have been trying to get Harriet involved with Mr. Martin, but also tries to step back. However, Harriet RIGHTLY calls her out this time, bringing up the fact that Emma fancies George, and that it’s because of Emma that she refused Mr. Martin. And Emma finally gets it. ALL of it.
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George, hearing of Frank’s engagement, goes to comfort Emma in her time of distress. And after railing out Frank for his lying ass, he starts to confess his true feelings to Emma. But she tries to stop him, but THERE AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ LOVE BABY
And as he STRAIGHT-UP PROPOSES to her...her nose bleeds and she says no.
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Finally, it’s confirmed that George was speaking on Mr. Matin’s behalf, not his own, and Emma pledges to make things right herself. She delivers the painting of Harriet to Mr. Martin, and he proposes to her. Harriet accepts, and has also finally heard from her father, who isn’t a nobleman at all, but a shoemaker. Emma still invites them over to their estate, and the two make up as friends.
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And speaking of making up, George and Emma also make up, and the two are officially engaged to be wed. And it’s honestly...quite lovely. Which describes the whole film, which comes to a close.
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WHEW. Now THAT...was a Recap. See you in the Review!
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Riding On Ch3: What Happens In Vegas...
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Summary: We catch up with what Fliss got up to whilst Frank was living it up in Vegas, before they both face up to the events of the weekend, because this time what happened in Vegas certainly doesn’t stay there…
Warnings: Bad Language words.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
A/N: Imma still running from @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and I won’t be stopping at the end of this either…As always, thanks to my unofficial beta @icanfeelastormbrewing​ for the usual inputs and opinions. J Chapter Song: Trouble Loves Me by Morrissey
Series Materlist //  WIYPT Masterlist
Just when it seems like everything’s evened out, and the balance seems serene, see the fool I’ll be, still running ‘round on the flesh rampage
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“Hey!” Fliss greeted Bonnie as she walked over to where the woman was supervising the after school club.
“Hiya!” Bonnie smiled “You heard from Frank today?”
“Yeah, before.” Fliss smiled, before she looked and Bonnie “I gotta say, that video of Simon…”
“He’s an idiot.” Bonnie shook her head “Punching his own reflection…I mean…”
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages.” Fliss giggled and Bonnie snorted, shaking her head again. At that point Mary came running over, her cheeks pink
“Hey Lissy.” “Hey sweetheart, you ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, because I got a surprise for you!”
“Me?”
“Yup!”
“Where is it?”
“We gotta go pick it up.”
“Oh, ok…bye Miss Stevenson!”
“See you Mary!” Bonnie smiled as she started to head off to Fliss’ car “Hey, give me a call…we can do lunch Sunday before the boys get back.”
“Sure.” Fliss nodded. “I’ll text you.”
With a final goodbye she headed after Mary and climbed into the driver’s side.
“Where’s Thor?” Mary asked.
“He’s at Mum and Dad’s with Rupert and Fred.” she said, “I thought after our surprise we could stay there for the weekend, use the pool and the Cinema Room…”
“Ok…” Mary looked at her suspiciously.
“I promise you’re gonna like it!”
“Just tell me.” Mary looked at her as Fliss set off driving.
“Sure you wanna know?”
“You’re as bad as Frank.” The girl rolled her eyes and Fliss laughed.
“We’re going to pick Steve up from the airport.”
Mary’s face split into a huge grin, it was a well-known fact that besides Bill, Fliss’ brother was basically her favourite person that wasn’t Frank on the planet.
“Uncle Steeby is coming to stay?” she looked at Fliss.
“Yup for a whole month. He has some work in Orlando and Tampa so he’s gonna be staying in town for a while, and then in Easter Sian and the twins are flying over.”
“Oh man!” Mary grinned, laying her head back on the seat “This is great!”
Mary’s excitement seemed to increase the nearer they got to the Airport, and Fliss had to practically hold her down in the seat as she parked the car, telling her to wait a second. Once she’d managed to park they headed into the arrivals lounge and little after 15 minutes later her brother appeared, towing his suitcase behind him.
“Hey Stack!” he grinned as Mary flung herself at him and he swept her up in a hug “How’s it hanging?” “Same old, same old!” she grinned and he let out a laugh before he placed her down and turned to Fliss.
“Oh my God!” he smiled as Fliss walked over to him “Look at you!”
She laughed “I know…” with a nod she looked down “Nothing until 16 weeks and then wham…now I feel like it’s getting bigger every day.”
He pulled her into his arms and gave her the usual bear hug before the three of them headed out to the car. On the way back to the house, Steve filled Fliss in on what exactly he was doing. The construction company he owned was in the running for a very big job in Orlando building a complete village of holiday villas not far from Lake Buena Vista. As such he was out here to meet a few people and attend the Bidders Conference, whilst also taking a look at some potential office buildings in Lakeland.
“If we win this tender Fliss, it’s going to be huge.” he smiled at her “We’re talking millions.”
“That’s great.” she smiled “You’ve really blown it up since Dad handed over the reins, I’m really pleased for you!”
“I got lucky.”
“No, it was hard work.” Fliss glanced at him.
“Frank says you make your own luck.” Mary added.
“See!” Fliss grinned at her brother. “So, would you guys move out here or…”
“I’m tempted.” he said, “As with anything, I’ll need a project team who can oversee the local suppliers and labour that type of thing, manage the schedules and what not…but our head offices will still be in Liverpool, so I’m undecided. Either way I’ll be spending a lot more time here, certainly in the first 12 months whilst it all gets up and running.”
“How does Sian feel about it?”
“She’s excited. She knows what it means to me, to the business. Obviously she realises it means more time apart as I’ll be out here quite often but…”
“Is it selfish of me to be happy about that?” Fliss smiled and Steve laughed.
“Nope, because we all know I’m the best big brother in the world.”
Fliss grinned and shook her head as Mary began to enthusiastically talk to Steve about school and University and the Girl Scout group she was in. Fliss interjected whenever she needed to but other than that she was happy to let the two of them chat away.
Once home Steve headed over to the Annex where he would be staying whilst Mary went outside to play with the dogs, Fred happy to oversee things from his spot on a chair on the large decking platform which-over looked the pool area. Steve appeared an hour or so later having showered and changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, Fliss grinning at him, calling him a tourist. Whilst it wasn’t cold by cold standards, she found it chillier having grown used to the blazing heat of the summer. Steve, who had come from the chilly early spring in England, simply rolled his eyes and handed her the box he had in his hand.
“It’s a present from me and Sian.” he smiled.
Fliss glanced down and smiled at the selection box of Pukka Tea bags.
“Steeby this is great!” she beamed “I’ve been struggling to find them out here since Sian recommended them.”
She gently opened the box and glanced at the various herbal teas. There were 12 different flavours such as Peppermint and Liquorice, Ginger and Manuka Honey, Chamomile and Rose to name but a few. There was even a handwritten note inside from Sian, explaining which ones had helped her with various symptoms she felt during her pregnancy. She closed the purple and gold box and looked up at Steve, tears in her eyes.
“Hey, come on Titch!” he laughed as she fell into his arms, chuckling herself at her ridiculous tears “It’s just tea bags.” “It’s really thoughtful, thank you.” she stepped back, wiping her eyes “Fucking hormones.” Steve chuckled, rubbing her back slightly before she turned and began pulling the rest of the stuff out for dinner.
“Wanna help?” she asked.
“You really want me to?” He smirked “I’ve still not forgot the time we made brownies and set fire to the curtains at the Farm house.” “Ok, first off those curtains were rank, as Mum said when Dad came home and hit the roof, second off, they were pot brownies and we were already stoned after smoking a load! Cooking and being high do not mix.”
Steve laughed “God, poor Mum didn’t know what to do. Came home, found us both on the floor eating them, with burnt curtains hanging at the window.” “She knew we were stoned, she told me.” Fliss grinned, handing Steve a knife “Said she lied to dad that it had been her to get us off the hook.” “Well that didn’t work because Dad told me he knew full well it was us. He made me pay for the new curtains and told me that if I ever let you smoke that stuff again he was going to beat me within an inch of my life.” Fliss laughed “He was so full of shit, he never raised a hand to either of us. Never would either.” “No, but the threat was there. Even if I was 22 at the time, scared the shit out of me.”
“Thankfully we both grew up since then, huh?” Fliss shrugged, as she grabbed a chopping board to start carving up the meat for the tacos.
“Hmmm, debatable.” Steve nudged her. “Although I can safely say I haven’t done weed since the twins were born…as tempting as it was at times.”
“I can’t remember the last time I did.” Fliss mused “Was certainly before I moved to Boston.” “Frankie boy not dabble every now and then?”
“Nope.” Fliss said “He doesn’t smoke and says the last time he did pot it made him pull a whitey so he steers clear. Hardest thing he does now is Bourbon.” “Huh…” Steve mused “I had him pegged as a bit of wild one…” “He’s not.” Fliss shook her head “I mean he cuts loose when we go out, and I dread to think about the states he’s gonna be in this weekend but…” she shrugged “He’s well adjusted, sensible, level headed…can be a bit of a child at times but, show me a man who isn’t?” Steve shot her a look and she chuckled.
“So, how is he?” Steve asked. “Seems like ages since I spoke to him.” “He’s good.” Fliss smiled “His work is going well. He’s really excited about the baby.” her hand dropped to her bump. “We’re gonna start looking for houses now our landlord had said he won’t hold us to our contract. Frankie wants to move as soon as we can so he can get a nursery ready but I’m not bothered. Not like we’ll need the extra space really until a few months after it’s born.”
“You’d be surprised.” Steve raised an eyebrow “Babies accumulate a lot of stuff…” “Well, we’ll manage either way.” Fliss shrugged “Most important thing is they’re safe and happy. We can figure the rest out as we go.” “You gonna buy or…” “Hopefully.” Fliss nodded “With work and stuff now we shouldn’t have a problem borrowing now but, I don’t know, we’re going to look into it properly once Jake’s wedding is out of the way in a few weeks.”
Steve nodded and took a deep breath “You know, I wasn’t sure about you two at first, not because I didn’t like Frank, I did, I mean I do but, well, I just thought after Dickhead that you needed time to heal and find yourself again.” Fliss looked at him as he chewed the inside of his lip before he turned to her. “But then when I saw you again after your first Christmas together and then over the Easter…I dunno, you just…”
Fliss smiled and looked down, shrugging “I might have healed in a lot of ways before I met Frank but I was still broken Steeb. Finding my way in a new relationship was hard work, it was daunting…I constantly found myself automatically doing things I did with or for John…like you know the first time Frank ever stayed over, in the morning I just got up and was about to make him coffee and he was so puzzled by it.” she shrugged “that could have been so awkward but Frank…well, he didn’t let it feel that way. Simply told me to stay the fuck in bed.” “Don’t wanna know.” Steve pulled a face and Fliss laughed.
“Joking aside, I know it used to bother him because it was almost like on a subconscious level I was comparing the two of them but he never once lost his temper, not really anyway, other than to tell me to stop putting him on a pedestal for being fucking normal…his words, not mine.” she said, framing them in quotation marks with her fingers. “He just gets it. He gets me.” “You finished with the sales pitch?” Steve asked her and she narrowed her eyes at him as he laughed “You don’t need to convince me Titch, I like the guy, I just wasn’t sure you were in the right place but it's obvious he helped you get there.” Fliss smiled.
“And Mum and Dad worship the ground he walks on.” Steve shrugged “Like seriously…”
“Awww you jealous?” Fliss teased and Steve turned, pointing the small knife he was holding at her.
“Behave.” he smirked and Fliss laughed.
“I know what you mean though…whenever we argue they’re both like ‘you need to stop being so hard on him, Lissy’.” She snorted.
“Well, to be fair, you are a little bit…” Steve shrugged “Oh, I dunno, a bit of a pain in the ass at times.” “Fuck you.” she sniggered, as Steve chuckled and once again looked down at her.
“I’m glad you found him. You deserve to be happy.” Fliss smiled, and let her brother give her another hug before she instructed him to get on with his allocated job of dicing onions if they wanted any chance of eating this side of summer. Between the two of them, they had dinner ready in half an hour and the three of them ate inside at the large kitchen table. It wasn’t long after they finished that Frank Face timed. After a conversation with Mary, instructing her once more to behave, she handed the phone to Fliss who smiled at her man and excused herself for a little while so she could go talk to him in private. He told her they were off to play poker, promised he wouldn’t gamble Bean and Mary’s inheritance away, before he apologetically said he needed to go and promised he would message her later, despite her insistence that he didn’t need to keep checking in.
The siblings and Mary, plus animals migrated to the lounge of the villa as Steve yawned, desperately trying to keep himself awake as long as possible to counteract the time difference between Florida and their home in the North West of England. He ended up helping himself to a healthy shot of Bill’s 12 year old Single Malt as Fliss had an apple juice mixed with lemonade, the 2 of them on the couch, the foot stools of the recliners in front of them whilst Mary led on the rug, playing on her computer.
At one point she let out a snigger, and Fliss looked at her suspiciously.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Frank before told me to stop doing maths and do something else…so I’m googling.” she shrugged.
“Googling what?”
“Random pregnancy facts…did you know the longest pregnancy ever recorded was 375 days?”
“What?” Fliss spluttered “That’s over a year!”
Mary grinned “and the shortest was 21 weeks and four days…both babies survived.”
Steve looked at Fliss, chuckling to himself as he took a drink of his scotch.
“Woah, your heart grows bigger too…” Mary said, “and your blood volume increases by 40-50%. That’s pretty cool.”
“No wonder you get fat…” Steve mused and Fliss picked up a cushion, hitting him in the face with it.
“And your voice can change!” Mary looked up at Fliss “Says here that it can get lower…” she studied her for a second before she nodded “Talk to me…” “What do you want me to say?” Fliss asked, dropping her voice deliberately and Mary shook her head, rolling her eyes.
“You’re doing a Frank…” she sing songed.
“Doing a Frank?” Steve looked at his sister.
“Code for being an idiot.” Fliss smiled.
“You’re 18 weeks right?” Mary continued.
“Yeah”
“It says here that’s the time the baby can hear sounds…but it gets more responsive at 25-26 weeks…” she paused “Have you felt Bean move yet?”
“No.” Fliss shook her head, “but apparently for your first baby it’s not uncommon for you not to feel it until after 20 weeks.”
“Huh, they call it quickening…” Mary mused then she grinned “I can’t wait to feel it kicking you.”
“Gee thanks Stack…” Fliss looked at her as Steve let out a loud laugh
“I bloody love this kid!” he grinned and Mary smiled back.
*****
Saturday flew by. Fliss had lessons all day at the yard, Mary hanging around to help Joanne with various tasks before she herself got to ride Monty. She was now fully walking, trotting and cantering off the line competently, so when she asked Fliss if they could try a little jump, seeing as Frank wasn’t there to shit himself Fliss agreed.
Joanna set the cross poles up, leaving the jump at less than half a foot high, but it was enough for what they wanted to do.
“Ok…so…” Fliss said, nudging the ground pole with her foot. “We’re going to just trot him at this for the time being, so when he steps over this pole you have a count of one before he is going to take off. So you need to stand up… and fold forward slightly, giving him the reins. Show me.” Mary obediently stood up, and Fliss moved to help her adjust her legs so they didn’t fling too far back.
“Ok, good…” Fliss nodded. “Joanna’s gonna lead you over the first few times ok, and if you feel like you’re losing your balance then grab hold of this bit at the bottom of his mane. It won’t hurt him, I promise.” “OK, I’m ready…” Mary nodded.
“Alright…” Fliss said, stepping back. Joanna led Monty away, before they picked up trot and ran at the small jump.
“Get ready to fold!” Fliss instructed Mary, as she approached the pole. Doing exactly as she was told Mary leaned forward as Monty took off from the ground and landed perfectly after the jump. Mary sat back up and looked over her shoulder at the jump then to Fliss who gave her the thumbs up.
“Woah, did you see that?” Mary grinned, and Fliss nodded.
“Sure did!” she laughed. “Go again?”
Mary nodded eagerly and Joanna laughed. “Well done kiddo!”
They repeated this 5 or 6 times more before Fliss asked Mary if she wanted to try on her own. Never one to back down she nodded so Joanne unclipped the line and Mary trotted Monty around in a circle before she came at the jump.
“Ok, sit up and look straight between his ears at where you’re going.” Fliss said “Don’t look down…” Mary approached the jump and Fliss held her breath, but needn’t have bothered. Monty, ever the pro took Mary over the poles easily and stopped a few strides at the other side, Mary letting out an excited yell.
“I did it!”
Fliss gave her a huge smile.
“Can we film it and send it to Frank?”
“Damned straight we can!” Fliss grinned, “Do it again.”
She pulled her phone out, filmed Mary once again jumping and then turned her phone off, slipping into her pocket as Mary rode Monty back over.
“That was amazing!” the little girl was beaming ear to ear.
Fliss nodded “Yeah, it was. You did really well Stack. You wanna walk him off now then and we can feed and go home?” Mary nodded as she turned Monty away to let him walk around the outside of the paddock. With a smile she grabbed her phone and sent the footage to Frank. He replied a few minutes later with a load of wide mouthed emojis accompanied by the words “Jesus Christ, what did I say about keeping all 4 legs on the ground?”
“Oh hush Sailor!” she replied “She loved it. Now don’t forget I want a photo of you and Greg in those suits before you go out.” “Yes ma’am…now by my watch it must be nearly 6pm there. Take Mary and Bean home and get some rest.”
Rolling her eyes she responded about him being bossy to which he replied he was entitled to be as she was carrying his kid. A few more jokey messages were shared before Fliss promised to go home and Frank said he would talk to her later.
They grabbed a pizza on the way back and once more joined Steve for dinner, the 3 of them sitting in Bill’s large cinema room later watching Avengers-Age of Ultron. Before it had finished Fliss fell asleep, to be woken by Steve at the end of the film, Mary laughing at her as she groaned and stretched out.
“Sorry!” she grinned and Steve snorted.
“She falls asleep all the time.” Mary laughed “Frank said the baby is like a parasite, sucking all her energy.”
“A parasite?” Fliss snorted indignantly, her hand falling to her bump “You hear that Bean, that’s your dad saying that. Rude…”
“He isn’t wrong though.” Steve laughed. “Sian used to refer to our two as the bloodsuckers.” Shaking her head Fliss stood up and looked at Mary, “Bed, come on. You’re out with Roberta tomorrow.” “Anywhere nice?” Steve asked Mary.
“Just to the beach.” came the reply. “I haven’t seen her in a while so we’re gonna go watch the surfing competition. Roberta likes the shorts the men wear.”
“Sure she does.” Steve smirked, laughing.
“Some of them are brighter than Frank’s shirts.” Mary mused, causing Steve to laugh harder.
They bid him goodnight, getting ready for bed before Fliss tucked Mary in and went to the spare room. She fell asleep not long after but was woken early Sunday morning with a desperate need to pee. Once sorted she text her phone to find a very drunk text from Frank, declaring he loved her and couldn’t wait for Bean to arrive and for them to get married. She shook her head, glancing at the time, it was almost 4 am meaning it was 1am in Vegas. Smiling as she replied half asleep herself, telling him to maybe think about drinking water instead of any more alcohol, she turned over and closed her eyes.
***** Frank sat dumbfounded, his entire body rigid as the person next to him in the bed let out a sigh, and then a deep groan before a head emerged from under the covers.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Frank exhaled and let out a groan as Simon looked at him “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Well, technically this is my room, jerk.” Simon said, blinking “What year is it?
“You scared the shit out of me.” Frank took a deep breath “I thought…”
“You thought you left with the blonde?” Simon peeked up at him “Nah, man. Mind you, wasn’t for her lack of trying. She was all over you. Eventually you told her to fuck off. You were quite rude actually.” Frank let out a sigh, his head falling back against the head board.
Simon sighed turning over, before he peered under the covers. “For the love of- Frank you’re naked.” “I’m aware of that.” Frank groaned.
“Fucking hell…” Simon grimaced, before he rolled out of bed “I’m going for a pee. Put some clothes on.”
Once Simon was in the bathroom he climbed out of bed, his head still spinning as he found his clothes in a pile on the floor. Shoving on his boxers and shirt he looked around the room to see an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a pizza box on the table.
“Where the hell did we go?” He asked Simon as he walked back into the room. “Don’t ask me.” Simon looked at him, falling face down on the bed. “I know we took Greg back to your room…”
“We did?”
“Yeah he was wasted.” Simon nodded, rolling over as Frank flopped back on the bed. “He could hardly walk so the bouncers asked us to take him out of the club. We threw him in your room then…we must have gone back out…hang on…”
With a herculean effort, Simon pushed himself up and found his phone. After a brief scan his eyes widened and he snorted.
“Look.”
He turned the phone round to Frank, who saw a selfie of him and Simon in front of a face down Greg in the hotel room. Simon then began to flick through.
“Oh, ok so we went to a liquor store…” he turned the phone round to show Frank a blurry photo of a shop front “Don’t ask me why I took that and oh my god!”
“What?” Simon pressed play and a load of cheering and singing hit their ears as they watched footage of a small man dressed as a leprechaun dancing in the hotel foyer, Frank on his knees in front of him, laughing.
“I literally have no memory of that…at all.” Frank shook his head.
“Looks like we called Bonnie as well…” Simon snorted “If this angry text message that I got at 3 am is anything to go by.”
“Oh fuck…” Frank hastily reached for his phone, which really didn’t have a lot of battery left, and he hastily scanned his calls. There were none to Fliss, but he had sent her a message. According to her reply she’d been up to use the toilet…so that was ok.
His phone illuminated then with 2 messages. One from Fliss asking him if he was hungover, as he deserved to be, and another from Greg asking him where the fuck he was. Deciding to reply to Greg first, as he could picture the man stressing he tapped out a quick reply informing him not to worry, he’d be back at the room as soon as he’d managed to dress himself, which at the moment thanks to his head was proving a little difficult, before he replied to Fliss saying he was indeed hungover and he needed to crawl into a hole and die and as ever, reminded her he loved her.
No sooner had he sent it, she was calling him.
“That was quick…” he mumbled, before answering it. “Hey honey…” “So, wanna tell me exactly where and what you were doing that requires you to get dressed before you go back to the room?” her voice was steely.
Shit. He had sent the messages to the wrong people.
“Lissy, it’s not what you think…” he instantly began.
“Oh, you have no IDEA what I’m thinking!” her voice grew louder
“No, listen…I’m with Simon…” he chuckled.
“You think this is funny?” she sniffed and Frank grimaced.
“Baby, stop.” he sighed “Look, we ended up back at his room and I passed out here. That message was meant for Greg as he was asking me where I was. Instead he now has a message saying I’m hungover to fuck and that I love him.”
She was silent and he could hear her on the other end of the line rustling something before she spoke again in a quiet voice “So you weren’t with anyone else?”
“No, Sweetheart I wasn’t. Why would I want to be huh? Most beautiful girl in the world waiting for me at home.” At that Simon let out a retching noise “God you make me want to puke Adler.” “Oh fuck off Si you dick.” he shot back.
“Hey Fliss…” Simon leaned over to speak down the phone, grabbing Frank’s wrist to stop him moving it. “Now you, Bonnie and me have all seen Frank nekkid...”
“I swear to God I’m gonna punch you in a minute…” Frank mumbled, jerking his arm out of Simon’s reach and pushing him so hard he rolled over and fell off the side of the bed. Frank let out a laugh as Simon groaned and a hand appeared in the air, flipping him off.
“He knows about you and Bonnie?”
“Apparently so.” Frank mused
Fliss snorted “So anything else you wanna tell me about what you got up to? Other than naked spooning Si?”
Frank laughed “We found a dancing leprechaun.”
“A dancing leprechaun?” “Yeah, in the hotel somewhere.”
“Standard.” she giggled “So, are you ready to come home now you’ve spent the last few days acting like overgrown frat boys?
“Yes, I’m more than ready to leave Aldrich Whitaker behind”
“Who the fuck is that?”
“My alter ego for last night. He’s a trust fund ass hole…” Frank grinned.
There was a pause before she replied, snorting “Whatever.”
At that point his phone gave him a bleep to tell him he was dangerously low on battery power. “Look, baby, my phones gonna die. I’ll call you when I get it charged ok?”
“Yeah, sure, hey Frankie…sorry I jumped to conclusions.” she said softly.
“It’s ok” he laughed “I’m not surprised after that message.”
“Yeah but still…” she paused “Can I blame the hormones?”
“If you want.”
“In that case it was totally them.”
He chucked “Ok. Anyway, hormones or not, I love you.”
“Love you too sailor”
With that his phone cut off and he glanced down at it, the screen blank as the power had gone. He dropped it on the bed, before leaning back again, his hand against his forehead.
“I’m NEVER coming to Vegas again”
“Oh you not fancy it for your Batchelor party then? Simon teased as he threw Frank a bottle of water from the mini bar.”
“The fuck I do.” Frank shook his head.
*****
“I’d like to say I’m surprised but…” Bonnie shrugged as Fliss snorted, taking a drink of her apple juice from the carton as they walked back to their cars in the setting sun. They’d had dinner at one of the beach bars and stayed simply chatting for half an hour or so, but now Fliss was now ready to head home, shower and bunker down for the rest of the evening until Frank came home.
“I knew he’d end up paralytic.” Fliss said, watching as Mary wandered back towards them, huge ice cream in her hand. “Ok, Stack that’s bigger than your head.”
Mary shrugged, handing Fliss her change “It’s good though.” “Mint choc chip?”
“Yup.” she grinned, taking a huge lick. “When’s Frank back?”
“He lands into Tampa in about 4 hours.” Fliss looked at her “Why, you fed up of me already?”
“No, just thinking how peaceful it’s been without him annoying me.”
Fliss grinned and Bonnie gave a chuckle.
“Hey, did you tell Bonnie about you jumping Monty?” Fliss asked.
“Oh, no…” Mary turned to the woman, enthusiastically telling her all about it as Bonnie listened, Fliss walking alongside them, her hand rubbing her bump. She was just thinking about how nice a nap would be right then when Bonnie’s phone went.
“Sorry Mary…” she said, frowning at the number. “Hey, Lisa?” Fliss attention turned to Bonnie and she watched carefully as she spoke to Jake’s fiancé, her eyes flicked to her “No, no why…what’s…oh, ok…yeah…”
She cancelled the phone call and instantly tapped at the screen.
“Everything ok?” Fliss frowned.
“Yeah, I just need to check something.” she said. Fliss glanced at Mary who looked at her, shrugging.
“Here…” Fliss handed her the keys to the jeep “Go open the car…” “You know if you want me out of the way just ask.” Mary rolled her eyes.
“Ok I want you out of the way.” Fliss looked down at her. Mary snorted and took the keys, wandering off the 50 yards or so to the jeep. Fliss watched her climb in the back, the door staying open and her legs dangling out of the side. “Bonnie what is it?”
“Nothing…” Bonnie said, far too quickly as she looked up at Fliss. Fliss frowned.
“Bonnie…”
“Honestly, it’s nothing, just something Lisa told me about on facebook so…” Bonnie stuttered slightly so Fliss narrowed her eyes.
“Stop bullshitting.” Fliss said, holding her gaze “What the fuck’s going on?”
“Look, I’m sure it’s not what it seems…” Bonnie sighed, holding out her phone. At those words Fliss felt her heart sink as it could only mean one thing, and she took the phone with a tentative hand. She looked down at it and could see that it was a photo and from the logo in the bottom right hand corner it was from the official club page that the boys had been in on Saturday night.
It showed Jake, Greg, Simon, and a few others that Fliss didn’t recognise but that wasn’t what Bonnie had been referring to. What she had been talking about, as Fliss could clearly see was the background of the shot, which showed Frank with a blonde woman. Her arms were round his neck, his hand was resting on her lower back and their faces inches apart.
“Like I said, I’m sure there’s an innocent explanation…” Bonnie said, but Fliss wasn’t listening. She was busy flicking through the other photos and then she came across another of Frank, the same girl perched on his knee.
She felt sick.
“Sure, perfectly innocent…” Fliss swallowed, handing the phone back to Bonnie, her voice sounding detached. Bonnie looked down at the snap now displayed on the screen and she took a deep breath.
“Look, Fliss, Frank loves you…he was probably just drunk and…” “Touching up some whore that’s sat on his lap.” Fliss shook her head “Save it Bonnie, I gotta go.” “Fliss…”
Fliss turned away from her, the tears stinging her eyes as she headed to the jeep. Taking a deep breath she wiped her eyes, climbing into the driver’s seat.
“Are you ok?” Mary looked at her.
“Yeah, fine…just tired and hormonal.” Fliss shot her a smile.
“We can watch a film when we get back.” Mary suggested “Just chill out?”
“Yeah, yeah we can.” Fliss trying to quell the sick feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with Bean.
Had Frank really cheated on her? She would never in a million years thought he had it in him to be unfaithful, and she was desperate to believe Bonnie, that there was some perfectly innocent explanation for it all. And maybe, just maybe with the first one she could. It could have been taken at a bad moment, when they were just talking to one another, Frank being friendly…but then again why would they have their arms round one another. And as for the second one…the same girl was sat on his fucking lap with her arm looped round his shoulder.
And he looked perfectly comfortable with it.
She rubbed her bump again and Mary looked at her. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine sweetheart.” she nodded, painting a smile on her face before turning the key in the ignition. “Let’s go home.”
******
Frank sighed as they all trudged through the arrivals lounge, rubbing his eyes. He was ready for a shower and collapse next to his girl, he felt like he had aged a decade over the last 3 days. The rest of them looked just as bad as they headed to the waiting car, Simon’s phone reminding Frank he needed to turn his on to.
“Oh, shit…” he heard Simon groan “No, that’s not…he didn’t…I swear…”
He glanced at Frank who stood still, watching and leaning on the door frame, his own phone in his hand as it started up.
“Yeah, ok…love you…see you soon.” Simon swallowed and cut the call looking at Frank.
“What is it?” Frank looked at him, a cold feeling washing over him “Has something happened to Lissy or Mary? Or the baby, please tell me no…” “No, nothing like that but you need to call Fliss.” he said, “Frank, there’s photos of you and that blonde chick on the club facebook page. Someone tagged me and Greg in them, Lisa saw them and Bonnie and…” “Photos of what?” Frank frowned “I didn’t do anything…” “There’s a photo that makes it look like you are…and one of her on your lap.” Simon said and Frank swallowed, his stomach churning.
“Oh fuck…”
“Just get in the car.” Greg said, looking at him from where he stood at the other side. “Call her on the way, we’ll back you up…it’s a misunderstanding…”
“Yeah, it’ll be fine…” Jake assured him.
But it wasn’t fine, because no matter how much he tried, or how many messages he sent her, she wasn’t picking up or replying and when he saw the photos, and had to admit…they looked pretty bad, he could understand her being pissed. He would be if it was the other way round. The drive home seemed to take forever, and when the car finally rounded the corner onto Frank’s road they all offered to come in as well and help him explain, but he shook his head, knowing full well if he did that she would feel backed into a corner. No, this was his own dumbass fault. He’d face up to it and talk to her, make her understand how he’d told the girl to back off…she’d listen, she was reasonable.
The house was quiet when he entered and he walked through to the lounge where Fliss was sat on the sofa, her knees bent up besides her. She glanced over the back of the couch and he could see she had been crying, which made him feel like even more of bastard than he did already.
“Lissy, honey, I swear…” “You know, when I asked if there was anything you wanted to tell me, maybe I should have asked if there was something you should be telling me” she said, uncurling her legs and standing up. Thor’s ears pricked up from where he had been laying on the rug.
“Listen, those photos…they’re not…” he shook his head “I told her to get lost, honestly I swear…”
He moved towards her, his hands dropping to her hips but she pushed him hard in the chest, stepping back.
“Don’t touch me...I don’t want you anywhere near me.” she said quietly
“Sweetheart, I swear to God…”
“I don’t wanna hear it Frank.” she sniffed walking past him. “Where are you going?” he asked, “Lissy, you can’t leave…please, sweetheart…” “I’m going to bed, but let’s get one thing straight. The only reason I’m not screaming at you right now and storming out, slamming the door behind me is because of Mary.” she spoke calmly, too calmly for the anger which was radiating out of every inch of her body. She looked at Frank, her eyes watering as she shook her head, turning away “You can take the couch.”
“Lissy…” “Frank…just…stop.” she said, her voice cracking, and with that she left the room, Thor trotting behind, the bedroom door clicking behind her.
Frank stood, rooted to the spot, debating whether or not to follow her, before he decided not to. The last thing he wanted was to anger her that much she stormed out, or worse, she got so stressed something happened to the baby. No, she’d set the boundaries so he decided to respect them, and turned instead to the couch, sinking down onto the cushions his head in his hands.
She was angry, upset and she had the right to be and like he had said in the car, in her position he knew he would feel the same. She needed to sleep, calm down enough so that they could talk and he could explain, get her to listen to him. And then she’d see that it was a huge misunderstanding, even if she remained pissed at him for having the girl so close in the first place, which, ok, he shouldn’t have done but fuck…the thought of cheating hadn’t entered his mind, not once.
He swung his legs up, rubbing his face over his hands. She’d believe him. She had to, because if she didn’t, he had no idea what the fuck he was gonna do.
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typinggently · 4 years
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The number three of the promts? A good Frank/Billy fight turned to sex? ♥️
Ahhhh thank you! I’m sorry for taking ages!!! Also this got a little longer than I anticipated ah
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3. pinning the other against the wall
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These days, their fights often end like this. And yeah, some couples make it a habit, find every little excuse to start shouting just so they can end up on their kitchen table with dinner on the floor and their pants around their ankles. However, that’s not at all what they’re doing.
Frank doesn’t particularly like fighting, for one. He knows he’s hot-headed, and shit gets to him. It’s not a good combination and honestly, he’d prefer to just keep calm and talk about shit now and then.
But, see. The thing is that Billy’s a fucking bastard more often than not.
“So, were you planning on including me in your thoughts at all or was I supposed to just magically not get killed because of your bullshit moves?” Frank doesn’t drop the case that holds his rifle, although he’s halfway tempted to risk breaking it just for the loud thud, the dent in Billy’s hardwood floors.
“You know I would’ve told you in time, stop being so fucking dramatic about it.” Billy’s voice isn’t technically louder, but much sharper, saturated with self-righteous annoyance. He shrugs out of his jacket, brushes a bit of dust off the shoulder.
It’s that little thing, that domestic gesture that shows that Billy’s still not taking this seriously enough to neglect his jacket over it, that really gets Frank going. And since he already set down the case, he steps into Billy’s space instead, willing him to focus on this – on him.
“In time? When’s in time, then? After you triple crossed them and they sent their dogs on us?”
“Damn, Frank, why don’t you do yourself a favour and shut the fuck up?” And it’s not – it’s not the bullshit in itself, is it? It’s the fucking tone. It’s the way Billy shakes his head at him. Exasperated, condescending.
Frank takes him by the shoulder and slams him against the wall, hard. Drywall would give, but this one is solid bricks and the impact knocks Billy’s head back, vibrates through his bones. There’s a flutter in his eyelashes and he snarls, partly in pain.
And of course Billy Russo is quick as a panther and twice as deadly, but Frank’s quick, too. He’s got an arm on Billy’s chest before his eyes focus again and when he snarls again, all canines, sharp claws digging into Frank’s arm, Frank simply puts more weight on it, pressing him against the wall.
Two weeks ago, Billy got a few kicks to his torso that had Frank worried out of his mind. By now, they’re faded into shades of green and purple, but he still makes sure his arm is positioned higher, the pain of the bruising more of a distant memory than a punishment.
Not that Billy appreciates it. He jerks, uses the fact that Frank’s practically holding him up to knee him in the stomach. Frank gasps, heaves. It’s not hard enough to effectively knock him down or make him puke, but fuck. His vision blurry and fingernails digging into the wall, he pushes in closer to not lose his grip on him and risk another hit.
Billy’s flexible, but Frank using his bodyweight to press his leg to his chest must still be a little much. He makes a low, pained sound and writhes to ease the strain.
Frank, still blinking spots out of his vision, feels it more than he sees it, the hard lines of Billy’s body, his warmth. And Frank’s still nauseous, still burning with anger, but –
“You could’ve gotten us killed,” he says, mostly to get back on track. His voice isn’t shaking, but it feels rough, velvet in his throat.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t.” Billy’s doing a better job than him, his voice a very convincing blend of annoyance and bristled feathers.
Frank can feel the rise and fall of his chest. And of course he’s still angry, understandably so. With all the shit Billy does without telling Frank, it’s a wonder they made it this far. So really, he ought to be furious.
He presses closer until he feels Billy’s muscles start trembling. The scent of leather and hot metal, a hint of dust, Billy’s deodorant.
With a sharp, pained intake of breath, Billy lets his shoulder’s drop, tilts his head to the side, arches his spine. Frank has no idea whether it does anything for the strain on his thigh, but it surely does wonders when it comes to bringing them closer together. Like this, Frank can see the flutter of his pulse, delicate skin, throat bared. “Stop playing,” he says, but his voice doesn’t sound adequately annoyed, and his lips almost brush Billy’s skin.
“I’m not.” Billy knows. Without pulling back to check, Frank can tell that the corners of his mouth are twitching. “You’re hurting me.” There’s a tell-tale purr in his voice, a feline delight.
It’s enough to make Frank’s chest hot with anger once more. “Stop it,” he hisses through clenched teeth. But when Billy huffs a little laugh and lets his thigh slip, Frank’s palm follows the curve of his spine to his hip, holding him up. Hooking Billy’s thigh over his own hips.
Billy’s laughing again, reaches for him. Frank hadn’t stopped to restrain his wrists, and now that he’s holding Billy up, he can’t stop him from running his hand through Frank’s hair. Short nails scratching along the buzzed back, then he’s fisting his hand in the longer top and pulls.
The kiss is a mess right from the start. Frank’s mouth is soft-lax with the pain of Billy’s hand in his hair, but he instinctively tightens his grip on his thigh. His arm slips from Billy’s chest, instead slipping down to the dip in his waist, digging bruises. Billy’s moan is soft, his teeth sharp. Frank tastes hot metal and presses closer, heat and muscle mass.
“Wait –“ The seductive little purr has melted from Billy’s voice, instead he sounds needy, breathy, the three-knuckles-and-a-tongue kind of voice that drives Frank a little crazy every time he hears it. There’s no room between them, not really, but Billy sneaks his hand down anyway, undoing Frank’s fly with thief’s grace.
And fuck but Frank hadn’t noticed how hard he’s gotten over this. Anger and adrenaline and Bill, all up in his space, pulling his hair. That’ll do it. His lashes flutter a little when Billy strokes him, his vision blurring, world reduced to black fabric, pale skin, dark eyes. He moans, lets Billy maul his mouth again.
When Billy pulls back a little to undo his own trousers, Frank makes sure that he’s supporting most of his weight, hands still gripping his thigh. It’s all he can do with his own cock pulsing in Billy’s right hand, mind stupid-fuzzy. Billy finally pulls his shirt up just a little, just enough to have an easier time pushing the waistband of his underwear down, and the milk-pale skin of his abdomen is enough to have Frank dizzy, his mouth watering. “Let me suck you off.”
At the words – or his voice, rough-deep with arousal -, Billy’s cock twitches, but he tightens his thigh around him. “Not now, stay here.” With that, he pulls Frank into another kiss and finally wraps his hand around their cocks again. Frank reaches down to help and stops thinking.
There’s heat, the scent of gun powder and sweat and Billy’s hair wax, melting down his hairline. The sound of Billy’s soft little moans that finally get that breathless, desperate quality to them that makes Frank dizzy with arousal. He leans in closer until he feels those sounds against his abuse-hot lips, feels the soft heat of Billy’s mouth. He can feel the heat coil in his abdomen, but it takes Billy’s nails in his shoulder, his sharp teeth, his trembling thigh wrapped around his hip to finally push him over the edge.
Pleasure pulses through him, white-hot, and he rides it out slowly, until the world comes back into focus. To make sure Billy doesn’t slip from his grip, he leans against his chest, presses him securely against the wall while they catch their breath. He’s got a split lip and where Billy’s shirt is still pulled up, he can make out the first hints of fresh bruises on his hip.
On second thought, they may be a little like those couples.
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…I feel like I really got carried away here. This genuinely felt like a good base for an actual smutty one-shot, tbh?? It was great fun to write and I hope you like it, but also, once again, I’m so sorry it took so long! ;^;
I was listening to Hate Me by Wildhood for most of the planning stages of this...can u tell 😌 love that shit for them.. (although, of course, they genuinely love each other. But like. The VIBES. thanks mr Stephens for my life)
Also…which shoulder IS IT??? I originally wanted to go more in that direction or mention it some more & thus legit went to that one glorious gifset of Billy doing his little shoulder thing, all squinty to figure it out but either a) some gifs are mirrored or b) it changes?! Which would be super interesting imo but I don’t want to start that whole essay here. So.
Thank you so much for the prompt!!💗
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sundaynightnovels · 5 years
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11/11/11
So i’ve been tagged by @elizabethsyson for the 11 question tags! Your answers are all so insightful and thoughtful, they were really fun to read!  Rules: Answer 11 questions. Come up with 11 new questions. Tag 11 people. Anyway, the 11 questions I’ve answered: 1.  Which of your characters would you most enjoy getting coffee with? i’m a really awkward person if i don’t know you well, so i need someone who’s just really comfortable to be around and who’ll be able to break the ice, so i’m thinking... probably Zhen. i mean there’s no such thing as awkwardness with her because she’s just so chill and laidback and she can talk a lot (of nonsense), so she’ll probably just break the ice with that first. there’s a high chance she might try to run out on the bill though... so i gotta watch for that. okay, who am i kidding? she WILL run out on the bill and i WILL get scammed but like, fine. that’s a fate i will have to accept. 2. Whose name took you the longest to be sure of? Teng?? HAHA because what kind of a name is teng anyway??? like... it could mean rattan, which is ridiculous, and while it is also a commonly used word in a chinese name, you don’t usually see it on its own, and if given nicknames, the person probably wouldn’t ask someone to call them as ‘teng’ on its own. so yea! it’s kinda weird, but i think it’s endearing in a way that exactly fits teng as a character. 3. Do you already know the ending of your wip? yup! 4. If your main characters were animals, what would they be? omGGGGgg this is going to take up all of my brain cells once again. ummMMmm. okay. okay. uh. zhen would be a squirrel???? she hoards things (probably) & she is opportunistic. like, if she sees a potential for her to get free things, she will go for it, and then she’ll hide it from everyone else because she’s selfish like that (but the hoard eventually gets discovered and she’s forced to share like a kid at a playground) shou would be an owl, probably. i answered in an ask that if he was a god, he’d likely be a god of the moon, and owls are very close to that. he’s also intelligent and intuitive and full of wisdom, just that you have to uncover it from the heaps of trash he piles on them all. lu would be a cat. he wants food, all the time. he wants attention too, but not like, deliberately. he’s not going to beg you for it, he’s classy that way. he’s pretty independent too, and he’s street smart. he just stays with you when he prefers the comfort of home. yu(f) would be an ox. she is really resilient and diligent, and she doesn’t mind working hard (in fact, that’s all she really cares about... or is it?). She’s also really hot-tempered too and she can flare up at the smallest things, and she’s also as bull-headed as an ox. she can get really stubborn about things and it’s frustratingly difficult to pull her out of it. ren would be a bee (fine, it’s not an animal, let me be!). he’s a hard worker and he’s diligent and she works not just for herself, but for everyone, but often his hard work is overlooked and people just take advantage of him and he knows it, but he doesn’t mind it. he’d rather it, in fact.  jun is probably a red fox. he tends to be rather solitary, even if he interacts with a lot of people, and it’s difficult to really understand who he is or what he’s thinking. he’s also really intelligent and playful, which makes his snarky comments on you especially painful because he makes it clever. just ignoring him would be the best thing to do! teng would be, obviously, as referenced so many times, a bear. he’s like a mother bear! he’s territorial and he’s loving and caring and deeply protective of people who he cares about! he’s also very accepting of others though, and while he appears fierce and brash on the outside, he’s just a huge softy on the inside. another possible animal for him would be the elephant! jia would be a horse. she’s fiery and independent and passionate and full of zest. she’s also really honest and frank, and she’s always ready to take action, like you know things are gonna get done when jia’s around. she’s just that reliable. (i’m sorry, i can’t find an appropriate animal for yu(m) as of yet) 5. What’s the theme song of your wip? i’ve answered this here!  6. What’s your wip’s colour scheme? oh no i’m not good at colours or things like that. i guess the most i can say is probably bluish and like, salmon pink-ish and sunset-yellow-ish?? i don’t even know! 7. What first inspired this wip? OKAY. so there’s this story / tale in chinese folklore about something called the peach blossom springs , which is about this guy who kinda accidentally followed a river to a spring, and then found this utopia land where people kinda led like the perfect, ideal existence without any knowledge of the turmoil going on in the outside world.  there’s also this other thing in mythology about the yellow springs (not the one in ohio), whereby this spring would lead to the underworld or something like that? and so i was like hmMMMmmmm can you imagine the dichotomy between these two? what if someone was in search of the peach blossom springs but what they found was instead this pathway to hell  (i actually wrote a completely unrelated short story about that, which... isn’t the best, yknow, but i had a little bit of fun with it) so yea! that was literally the premise of my wip! it’s not explicitly mentioned anywhere in my wip and you’ve gotta do a lot of inferences for it, but this inspiration is still kinda, sorta there if you squint. so yeah!  8. What style of illustrations would you want for it if you could hire any artist? i would like the artist to be me and i would like to be able to draw.  9. Which of your characters would be the least vs most freaked out to find out they’re fictional? HA. most of them wouldn’t be freaked out at all. with how everything has been going for them, they’re most likely just gonna go like ‘well, this might as well happen’. or maybe even ‘of course this must be it’. jun and zhen in particular would be so done with it. they’re not even in the least bit freaked out (in fact, jun probably knows a little bit about it since... well, he likes to give self-referential jokes) teng’s probably the only one who’d be the most freaked out, but by then no one really cares about his reaction. 10. Which of your characters could get away with robbing a bank? Why? oh, almost all of them. shou wouldn’t do it, but if he did, he’d annoy the police officers into letting him go. zhen would be able to find so many goddamn loopholes in everything and talking to her is like going through inception 10x in one day. like, you don’t even know what is right and what is wrong or what is up and what is down. you don’t know anything anymore. & lu would be right there being her biggest sycophant. jun would legit be able to get away with robbing a bank. you probably won’t even know he did it. you won’t even suspect him. everyone else around him is a huge suspect though, because he will pin it on them all.  jia would be hella good too, like if her mind’s set on a heist, she’s gonna do a heist and it’s gonna be done brilliantly and if she wants it to be a huge media spectacle, she’s going to be able to pull it off without getting caught. she goes all in man, what can i tell you? 11. Which of your characters would be the worst to interact with on tumblr? so many of them.  teng would be one of those blogs you block immediately on sight because all his posts are about loneliness and wanting to search for love and things like that.  you don’t even want to look at shou’s mess. lu will be unnecessarily aggressive to everything and anything he sees. you post a photo of food? GIVE IT TO ME YOU HEARTLESS ASSHOLE OF AN ADULT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING A JOB AND EARNING MONEY IF YOU WON’T GIVE FOOD TO A KID??!!! jun would be terrible. imagine that he has a writeblr. imagine that he has the greatest, most thought-provoking, most imaginative and never-before-thought-of premise that you could’ve possibly seen on this site. it is beautiful. the first lines that he has posted are magnificent. you want more -- nay, you clamour for more! it is all that is sustaining you in this life! yea, you know what’s gonna happen. he’s gonna tempt you with all that sweet fruit and he’s not gonna log on again. like, ever. maybe once in five years to dangle another juicy bit, and then he’s out.  he’s the worst. block him at all costs.
okay!! i’m going to try my hand at giving 11 questions this time, and they are: 1) which of your OCs will survive in a zombie apocalypse and why? 2) which of your OCs will be the most successful in life (you can define what success is)? 3) who would you love to hang out with in a theme park? 4) if your OCs had a tumblr blog, what would their theme / blog content be? 5) which scene has been the most difficult to write, and why? 6) what are your OCs thoughts on politics (in general)? 7) what do your OCs think about sparkling water? 8) how often does your writing follow your plan for it (does it go according to what you’ve planned out, or does it branch out often? do you not have any plans at all?)? 9) use three words to describe your wip’s ending (even if you haven’t written it yet!) 10) what are the three most important elements in your wip? 11) what would be your first reaction / action to finishing your wip (if you have one draft written, imagine this for your final draft!)?  okay i’m tagging @brynwrites @inked-waves @inexorableblob @aslanwrites @surroundedbypearls @insearchof-solace @inkpot-dreamer @vhum @latechickadee @focusdumbass @cawolters remember, there’s no pressure to do it, & if you want to do it, you can just take your time with it as well! <3
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kriskebob-blog · 6 years
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Day 3: My experiment is tested by weekend socializing
Hi friends. Happy Saturday night! Tonight I’m blogging about the events of yesterday, which I think was probably my most uneventful day so far on this dietary adventure... at least in terms of shopping and prepping interesting new meals. Both breakfast and lunch were covered by leftovers - we still had half the burrito bake left and then we polished off the salad and zoodles for lunch. According to the order of recipes as given by Dr. G, our next dinner would be spinach and mushroom black bean burritos. I took a look at the recipe. It looked like one of the simplest ones yet. A can of black beans, some minced onion and garlic, some chopped mushroom, a few handfuls of baby spinach... and then some seasoning in the form of savory spice blend (already prepped), cayenne pepper (duh of course I’d have that), summer salsa (already prepped), and then Dr. G’.s “Healthy Hot Sauce (see page 8)”. Psh. This was going to be nothing after all the cooking I’d done yesterday. Today would actually feel like more of a “normal” day where all I really had to worry about cooking was a quick dinner. It felt good and right for a Friday. Time to unwind a little, you know? We also had plans that night to meet up for a game night with some friends who had recently moved back to CT after a few years out west. 
The one thing I’d have to stop and prep before throwing together these vegan burritos was the “healthy hot sauce” but I didn’t think that’d be a big deal. I had purchased several big handfuls of fresh red chiles at Big Y that morning. The guy bagging my groceries had raised his brows. “Habaneros? Oh, man. I wouldn’t eat those,” he shook his head. I smiled politely and thought to myself, Shit. I had never cooked with habaneros before. I hadn’t realized that’s what these peppers were; the bin had only been labeled “hot chiles.” (Does anyone else’s grocery store have this tendency not to specify which fresh chiles are which?? It’s annoying honestly!) I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll just... use less or something if I need to, I thought doubtfully. The cookbook hadn’t specified what kind of chiles to use, it’d just specify that they be “fresh hot chiles, a single type or mixed.” I had gone for the red ones because I’d liked the idea of a traditional red hot sauce. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure about my choice, but no turning back at that point. 
Oh, and in case you wondered how my second trip to the grocery store this week went - MUCH easier! I didn’t end up needing nearly as much stuff the second time, in part because I still had tons of produce left over from my earlier visit this week and I also had less pantry items to purchase this time (didn’t need to return to Whole Foods, thank god). I did end up picking up a big container of unsalted roasted almonds and then lots of blueberries from the farm stand because I was really going to need more fast snacking options if I was going to make it through these two weeks without stuffing granola in my face. Even with two pints of blueberries and 22oz of almonds, my bill was definitely improved from last time. I’ve still spent a lot more on groceries this week than I normally would, but I had expected as much. Hard to avoid it when you’re replacing cheap staples like eggs and toast with a heaping plate of fiber every morning. 
Alright so back to the point aka what I expected to be a totally easy day of food prep. All I needed to prep that night were some simple burritos, this “healthy hot sauce” alternative, and then a snack to share when we went to see our friends. I had decided on the edamame guacamole recipe in Dr. G’s book. Since you obviously want your guac to be as fresh as possible when it’s eaten, I’d wait until we got pretty close to our planned departure time to throw it together. I figured it’d take like ten minutes maybe. 
Sam got home early and was eager to help me prep dinner like the gem that he is. “Honestly, we can probably wait another half hour or so,” I told him. “This isn’t going to take that long to prep or cook.” So we got started around 5:15. We wanted to be at our friends’ place for 7:00 so that seemed like plenty of time to cover a quick dinner and then throw together the guac. 
Except then I flipped back to actually read the “healthy hot sauce” recipe more carefully. I blinked as I realized it wanted me to cook down the chiles for nearly half an hour and then “allow them to come to room temperature.” Would have been no big deal at all... if I had bothered to read this an hour earlier. Whoops. Shit, I thought. Within ~10 seconds I decided screw it. I really wasn’t feeling too confident about those habaneros anyways and we still had a big jug of Frank’s hot sauce in the fridge. Definitely not a whole food, but what the hell was the harm of adding a tiny bit of a normal condiment here or there? I looked again at the burrito recipe. It said to just add hot sauce to taste. We could probably just skip it entirely then. Great. Problem solved. I’ll use those chiles and try to make the hot sauce another day, I thought, doubting myself even as I said the words in my own head. 
As expected, the spinach & mushroom black bean filling was super quick to prepare and cook. One thing I’m realizing is that the cooking process for a lot of these meals is honestly a lot simpler than meat-based meals (or at least so long as you have your fancy hand-made condiments, salsas, sauces, raw cashews, etc etc prepped in advance...). The vegetables often only need a few minutes to cook down, you don’t have to stop to wash your hands every time you handle a piece of raw meat or egg, and, of course, you don’t have to worry about actually cooking any animal protein. Just cook those veggies down some, season them to your liking, and you’re golden. And speaking of seasoning, I did end up adding a bit of Frank’s to the mixture in the pot. But just a splash okay! 
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Aw yea. And then here’s a burrito topped with the salsa before it got devoured (it was super messy btw): 
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The verdict for this one? Tasty... but again, it needed salt. I haven’t been tasting the food for saltiness before sitting down to eat it because I’ve been trying to stick to Dr. G’s sodium substitutes/replacements but I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last! I actually would have liked to see what it tasted like with some fennel seed added in; I always remember one black bean taco recipe I made ages ago that I loved mainly because of that spice’s inclusion. It’s a nice way to trick your brain into thinking you might be eating sausage. 
We cleaned up the kitchen and it was a little after 6. Our friends only lived 15-20 minutes away. “Let’s wait until like 6:30 before we put together the guac, so that it’s fresh,” I told Sam. 
This was to end up being a major mistake on my part. So, first of all, it was definitely a risky move to decide to bring something like “edamame guacamole” to a social gathering. People are really freaking opinionated about what guacamole is supposed to taste like (myself included, admittedly). I’d had edamame before and I figured its addition would go mostly unnoticed under the flavors of lime, cilantro, jalapeno, etc. 
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Looks like the right set-up for the makings of a perfectly normal and tasty guacamole, no?
Sadly, it really just didn’t come out good at all. I tasted it and actually winced. There was a sharp bitter flavor that took me completely aback. “I think the edamame is throwing me off,” I told Sam, who had also tasted it and looked as uneasy as I felt. I wasn’t sure what else the issue could be if not the obvious interloper ingredient. I’d even insisted we add in some kosher salt even though Dr. G, of course, called for his “savory spice blend” instead. Guacamole without any actual salt is a freaking crime, I’m sorry Dr. G. “Add more lime juice maybe?” I suggested to Sam, as he was the one who had thrown it together (have I mentioned that he’s the best?). I also added a bit more salt. 
We tried for a long time to salvage that guac. We added plenty more lime. More tomato. We even decided to blend up another avocado to try and mask the admittedly weird presence of the edamame. I tried it again and still winced a little. It still had a bitter bite to it that we couldn’t seem to mask. “I think it might not even be the edamame... it seems like it might be the jalapeno,” I told Sam. Well. This sucked. I’d just bought a handful of jalapenos fresh from the farmstand that very morning. For maybe the first time ever, Johnny Appleseed’s had let me down, and they had let me down hard. 
We were running pretty late at this point. We hemmed and hawed about if we should stop at the store and pick up something else to bring but in the end we decided to grin and bear it, and off we went to see our friends, subpar homemade guac and freshcut veggies in tow. Our friends were perfectly polite about the guac (we had told them why we’d been late), but let’s just say it definitely wasn’t the hit of the evening. Sigh. Our first foray into sharing a Dr. G recipe with friends had not exactly gone well, but it’s hard to say whether it was the recipe itself or the bitterness of that pepper. I do know that if I made that recipe again, I’d add even more salt, cause honestly Dr. G, if even a metric f@*!-ton of vegetables every day isn’t enough to save my arteries from hypertension, I’m not sure they deserve saving anyways. 
We had a nice night seeing old friends and meeting some new ones. I will say, though, that I was agonizingly tempted by the cookies that were set out for any guest to grab. They were the huge chocolate-chip/M&M ones from Stop and Shop and anyone who’s ever been at a party with me knows I love those things, damn it. I tried not to stare too jealously at everyone else as they ate their cookies and instead I ate a couple of slices of watermelon. I’ve actually never been a watermelon fan, but at that point I was willing to take whatever acceptable form of sugar I could get! And you know, it was honestly pretty good. 
We got home around midnight and I kicked off my shoes, still sighing at Sam about how badly I had wanted one of those cookies. Unsurprisingly, he had no sympathy for me and my self-imposed first world problems. It was past our bedtime but I didn’t want to go to bed, I wanted to plop on the couch with a cookie and a beer, or maybe a nice glass of wine. Just yesterday I was writing about how surviving my first complete day of only plant-based whole foods hadn’t been that hard, but now it was Friday night, a night when Sam and I normally celebrated the end of another work week with some sort of indulgence - a dinner out, a trip to the ice cream stand, a bottle of wine or a six-pack... hell, sometimes all three. I changed into my pajamas and thought about the fact that all of my favorite vices in life seem to involve putting large amounts of sugar and/or a few drinks into my bloodstream. It admittedly didn’t seem awesome for my longterm health to be doing that even as often as once a week. And we’d still had fun that night without any of that, right? Right. 
I dutifully stuffed a final late night snack of some unsalted peanuts into my mouth and ten minutes later brushed my teeth and went to bed. Survived another day and managed to cheat only a tiny bit with my defiant pinches of kosher salt and splashes of Frank’s red hot sauce. 
Hope you’ll be back for Day 4′s write-up tomorrow, friends! Here’s a bonus: an action shot of Sammy the Sous Chef getting our veggie platter ready: 
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Gadget rec of the day: A good blender! Most of us already have a blender I think, but if you really want to incorporate more whole foods and produce into your diet I think a good blender is an absolute must. I’ve only been following this diet for three days and I’ve already used our blender more times than I can count on one hand. 
Music rec of the day: “Sophia” by Laura Marling
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to-be-sentenced · 6 years
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Stanley Denbrough beats the Devil
Part 1- The two times Helen Frank was a bitch, and the one other time she was a complete bitch.
It was a well-known fact Stan hated the PTA. Correction, it was a well-known fact that Stan pretended to hate the PTA. Anyone who really knew him knew that Stan loved the drama of the whole thing. At least he would have loved the PTA if it wasn’t for one thing. Helen Frank.
 Helen Frank, was (in Stan’s own words) a heinous bitch. She was gorgeous, looking as if she’d just stepped out of the after portion of an anti-aging advert. She was the envy of all the mother's in the playground, long honey blonde hair, a tight waist a perky pair of (obviously plastic) breasts and a rich husband to hang off. She was also, a terrible person. Stan had heard rumours at the school gate, her talking bad about other parents, or worse other children and even a few that she was cheating on her husband. Stan was never one for rumours though, given all the ones that had been spread about him when he was a kid, but he'd seen it with his own two eyes.
Stan had no idea why this woman was talking to him. He knew who she was (obviously). Helen was the queen bee, all the mother's hated her and admired her in equal measure. He had no idea why someone like that would want to talk to him as they waited at the school gates, but from the way her gang was hanging around her he felt as if he was being initiated. Maybe she wanted a token gay best friend, who knew. The conversation had started pleasant enough, just about their kids, but quickly turned when another mother pulled up.
 The woman was obviously having a bad day, her curly red hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail, there was something that looked like coffee spilt down her blouse and she looked exhausted. Stan smiled at her as she looked over, but he was the only one who did, the other mothers glared as if offended by her presence,
“She’s such a slob,” Helen said unkindly, her friends nodded in agreement.
"She works," one of them stated as if it was tragedy.
"Those poor children," Helen said in such a fake tone Stan could have slapped her, "still if she works so much she looks like that, it's no wonder her husband left her." They all laughed unpleasantly. Stan noticed the mother looking over, she looked embarrassed.
"Excuse me," he said politely. Helen nodded as if she was allowing him to leave. Bitch.
"Hi, I'm Stan," he greeted cheerfully, the woman looked surprised she was talking to her.
"Beverly," she told him, “listen if you’re here to make fun of me I’m really not in the mood, okay?”
“Make fun of you?” Stan asked, Beverly nodded.
“You’re one of Helen’s drones, right? I saw you talking to the bitch,” Stan was taken aback by this. He’d never heard anyone so openly dislike Helen before, especially with her so close. He could feel Helen’s eyes on the back of his head, they were staring. Beverly waved sarcastically.
“Yeah, well I was, then I realised I didn’t want to be friends with a mean girl cliché,” he said coldly, Beverly laughed.
“I like you Stan.”
 The second time she wasn't talking to him, but Stan was almost certain he was supposed to hear.
 He and Eddie were stood at the school gates. He was glad Eddie was there, Bev worked late on Tuesdays and Thursdays and ever since Stan had earnt the wrath of Helen the other mothers had avoided him like the plague. It was all going fine until Holly came up to them, Georgina running behind her, trying to keep up with her much smaller legs, holding hands with Harry who brought up the rear.
 Holly grinned widely as she approached them, showing off her two missing front teeth.
"Hey Mom," she said to Eddie, keeping her distance because she was a cool eight-year-old (at least she thought she was) and cool eight-year olds didn't hug their parents when they picked them up. Georgina followed Holly's example and hung back the six-year-old thought the world of her (basically) sister. Harry had no such reservations and quickly moved close to cling to Eddie’s leg.
"Miss Robinson told me to give you this," she handed Eddie the note, which Eddie skimmed over. The other parents watched with interest and Eddie sighed as he scanned it.
"What did you do now?" He asked once he'd finished it. It was a familiar tone; one Stan had heard him use with Richie far too often. Holly mirrored her father's trade mark response.
"It wasn’t my fault!" She claimed.
“Harry, stay with Uncle Stan okay?” Eddie shot an apologetic look at Stan and  took his daughters hand as they began to walk back toward the school.
"Carry your own bag, you have arms, don't you?" Eddie told her, as Holly tried to pass off her bag to him.
 Helen clicked her tongue disapprovingly at the pair, taking her son's backpack as he charged off to play with some other children whose parents were still talking.
"That girls always in trouble," she told her friend who was wearing a similarly disapproving look, "speaking out, fidgeting, they call it ADHD, I say lazy parenting."
"My Jeremy told me she never finishes her work, and they just give her good marks because she has a price of paper from the doctors," her friend said, eager to agree.
 Stan felt a rush of rage of his friends’ behalf. They'd adopted Holly when she was six, partly because she was ADHD. Lots of parents weren't willing to even consider her because of it. Sure, Stan wasn't sure how they did it, it was chaos at their house, what with a dog and another three kids (four if you counted Richie which Stan sometimes did) but he knew that they were good parents and he didn't appreciate it when people said anything otherwise. He turned to say as much when he felt a gentle tug on his jeans.
 "Pops, Harry says they're going to walk Mildred after they get back, can we go too please?" Georgina asked sweetly. Helen was staring her down, as if challenging him to yell at her in front of his kid.
"You'll have to ask Uncle Eddie when he gets back," he said.
"That's yes," Georgina told Harry smugly, she enjoyed being the older one, "Uncle Eddie always says yes." Stan kept his mouth shut about Helen, he refused to give her the satisfaction.
 The third time came after Stan had joined the PTA.
"I’m lonely," Bev had begged him. The school had asked her personally to join because of her experience in design, which had been fine when they’d also had Richie there who was also forced to join because he was somewhat know, and useful for raising the profile of the school, but recently he’d been kicked out for making ‘unhelpful comments’ leaving Bev alone.
“You’d like it,” Richie told him. The three of them had taken the kids to the park after school and were watching them play, Mildred the Labrador weaving between them barking merrily.
“Really?” Stan asked, Richie nodded.
“Lots of people to make fun of,” he said, the offer was tempting. Eventually they wore him down.
 It was at his first event, a summer fair he'd done the buying for. Well he'd bought what he was told, though he thought Helen was somewhat reluctantly impressed when he'd managed to haggle the prices down. Though to make up for it he’d heard her make some comment to her friend about him being Jewish. Original.
 Stan was talking to Ben and Bev, though he was beginning to feel like he was 3rd wheeling a little. They were waiting for the raffle to start and parents and kids alike were milling awkwardly around the hall. Waiting. Stan’s eyes automatically roamed the room for his husband (he hadn’t said anything to either Ben or Bev for the past five minutes and it was getting awkward) when he saw him. Right next to a familiar head of honey blonde hair.
 Bill always felt awkward at these things, all the other parents seemed to have friends and Bill couldn’t find Richie or Eddie anywhere. Maybe he should start picking Georgina up more often, then he might know someone.
“Hi your Bill, right?” Someone asked, Bill turned around to see a smiling woman behind him, “the writer?” she added.
“That’s me,” Bill stuck out his hand, which the woman took.
“Helen Frank,” she said. That name sounded familiar, but Bill couldn’t quite place it. He smiled at her politely, at least he wasn’t on his own anymore.
“You’re Georgina’s father, right?” she asked, Bill nodded, “Henry’s always going on about her. I think he has a bit of a crush,” Helen said.
“Oh, he’s the one who sits next to her yes?” He asked, he vaguely remembered the name.
“That’s him, of course she won’t be quite ready for boys, yet will she?” Helen joked.
“I don’t think boys are quite ready for her yet,” Bill said, much to Helen’s amusement.
 Stan watched the two laughs carefully, frowning as he saw Helen place a perfect hand on his husband’s shoulder. He politely excused himself from the conversation.
 Stan and Bill had never much been into PDA, even when they were younger, unlike Richie and Eddie who still made out like teenagers (much to the disgust of their children). But as Stan approached the pair he knew he would have to channel his inner Richie (something he never wanted to admit).
“Hey Billiam,” he greeted, planting a kiss on his husband’s forehead.
“Hey Love.”
“Hello Helen,” Stan offered much more coldly, putting an arm around Bill’s waist and pulling him close. Helen’s smile slipped off her face.
“Hello Stan,” she greeted just as coldly. Bill looked between the two of them, having no idea what was going on. He coughed awkwardly, breaking the icy tension.
“Well I have to go and announce the raffle,” she said, “but call me if you want to set up that play date,” she told Bill, who nodded politely. Stan did not.
 “What was that about?” Bill asked, amused as Helen announced the raffle. Stan hadn’t yet moved his arm from around Bill’s waist. Stan shook his head, not even sparing a look toward him. He glared at Helen who glared back.
 From that moment, it was no longer just dislike between the two, it was outright rivalry.
To be continued.
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rndyounghowze · 5 years
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The Wedding of Sophie and Sky set to ABBA Music hosted by Off Broad Street Players at The Levoy Theatre in Vineland, NJ
By Ricky and Dana Young-Howze
I was invited to a wedding of my second cousin twice removed, Donna Sheridan’s daughter last night at the last minute. I'm glad it was casual dress but I was sorry that I didn't bring a gift. If you get invited to this wedding at the Levoy Theatre hosted by Off Broad Street Players be sure to grab a drink at the bar (*see my note below), and listen to a slew of songs written by the Wedding Band, Abba. This wedding was directed by the wonderful wedding planner John T. Stephan and was a wonderful night!
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Apparently my cousin Donna's daughter Sophie was getting married to a guy named Sky and wanted to get walked down the aisle by her father. Turns out though that my second cousin twice removed Donna hooked up with three guys a long time ago and they could have all been the father. So Sophie just up and invited all three of them. And they all showed up! How scandalous! It all went crazy from there!
Direction and Choreography by wedding planner John T. Stephan took on a real crazy undertaking and decided to go ahead and just make it harder. "Stage Mamma Mia with impressive vocals, amazing choreography, and a set that belongs in Disney World? Boring! I have to make it immersive!" I joke with John that he doesn't sleep ever. Well now on top of that I believe that not only that but he must have won a fiddle contest with the devil!
So let me tell you about some of the wedding party and the guests!
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Sophie (played by Corrine Podolski) was such the stunning bride! Her voice has such a piercing quality and her acting chops have only gotten better since the last time I saw her!
Okay one of the crazy bridesmaids, Ali (played by Caitlin Geisser), was such a crazy good actress and it was really fun to see her again onstage! It was a great kind of role that I had never seen her play before. The other bridesmaid Lisa (played by Nicolette Barr) was also a great dancer and a great fit for the other two young ladies. Wonderful singing in “Honey, Honey”.
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I could just not stop laughing at Tanya (played by Christina Fuscellaro). This is a woman who knows who she is and will run right over anyone who isn't ready for her. A very well seasoned performer! You just have to get to know this wedding guest!
Rosie (played by Kristy Joe Slough) had me dying right before the wedding in her rendition of “Take a Chance on Me"! It takes a lot of talent to be that deliciously awkward. Great job!
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I really loved the performance of my second cousin twice removed Donna (played by Carmen Delia Bryant). She's got some mad pipes and can dance like she's got a fire within her soul! I've seen her many times on the Levoy stage but this time she has out done herself!
Okay some people would be tempted to say that Sky (played by Scott Bonerbo) is just too young to get married or mix it up with performers that are a bit older than him. They would also be stupid! He's a wonderful performer and I hope he and Sophie have a wonderful life together!
Pepper (played by Jerrod Ganesh) is really that greasy bartender we've seen at every wedding! But he really is a great dancer! Come watch him cut a rug!
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Harry Bright (Played by Andrew Jarema) I've seen this guy play a lot of people before and this may have been my favorite role ever! So smooth and wonderful and if you know him you'll know that playing such a milquetoast man is such a feat for a guy who has played some really heavy roles in the past.
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It's been a while since I've seen Bill Austin (played by Don Fransko) onstage and it was wonderful to see him again! He is just such a handsome gentleman and a confident performer! Great job!
I really appreciated the soul Sam Carmichael (played by Frank Dimauro) put on display. He allowed himself to be so tender and vulnerable and I was right there feeling it with him in his songs!
Okay again John Stephan assembled such a great mix of performers that I can't choose between them. So here's a collective background shout out to the entire ensemble of wedding guests and hotel staff. I have never seen an ensemble that is so cohesive and spectacular! Break a leg on the rest of the performances!
Special shout-out to Dance Captain Lindsay Nakai who must have danced her feet off for all these numbers! She has an excellent frame and masterful command of her young instrument. I've seen older dancers with less confidence and skill. Great work!
Music Direction by Mandy Milne led the nine piece wedding band through the greatest hits of disco icons ABBA! I really admired the work of the four keyboards in the band. Four keyboards!!! They were a hit!
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It's really hard to do a wedding featuring an icon of the 70s but set in the early 2000's. But Costume Designer Katie Kiessling really nailed the vibe of both worlds with rich hues that just popped in all the heavy lights.
Again I'm looking at awesome hair and make-up by John Rattacasa (my theatrical good luck charm!) and it is totally on point! It's a big compliment to say that I couldn't tell what was a wig and what was really hair they were all so fabulous! I wish I was getting married all over again just so he could do me and Dana's make-up!
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I really wish that there was a set for Set Designer Mary Boner to design but it seems like they just found a real Greek village that no one was using and got Wayne Wriggins and Tom Kiessling to airlift it to NJ and put it on the Levoy stage. This is too realistic to be a stage set. So sorry Mary didn't get to do anything this show. Well there's always a next time!
Lighting Design by Tyler Daddario combines a mastery of intelligent lighting and vibrant hues! I have a special place in my heart for good lighting done well and Tyler always has a even more special place in my heart as a great designer.
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The lighting heavy on both awesomemess AND strobe lighting so please take the strobe and haze warning seriously if you're triggered by things like that. I too have a neurological condition and I'll let you know that there were times where it was hard for me to stay in my seat. I sat in the front row center so you don't have to. The wedding planner assures me it much less triggering in the back.
I have to give the sound designer of the year award to wedding DJ Sean Pedrick! I hardly ever talk about mic issues because every show I've seen has had some. They're just so prevalent everywhere. But this show had the smoothest sound and less issues than any show I've seen and by far this was the kind of show I would have forgiven several issues! Great job!
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So apparently guys this wedding is going on multiple times at the Levoy and all of you are invited! You guys are really in for a treat. They've really out done themselves this time! And tell my cousin Donna and the other guests hi while you're there!
**Mamma Mia by the Levoy Theatre is a very immersive production of the Musical written by Catherine Johnson with music and lyrics by Benny Anderssen and Björn Ulvaeus which allows the audience to come onstage and mingle with the cast before and during the show. Characters will come out and talk to you. There is also heavy haze and strobe lighting being used. If you are very sensitive to such things and sensory overload I would recommend to sit near the back.
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helenamayhathaway · 7 years
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Red string of fate prompt? :0
(I got alittle carried away with this one)
Gerard sighscontentedly as the waitress puts the coffee down in front of him, murmuring apolite “thanks,” and then grabbing a couple packets of Splenda, ripping the topoff and pouring them into his mug. Ray, opposite him, follows a similar routinewith the small little capsules of cream in the bowl by the table.
Ray andGerard sit and talk for a little while, about work, comics, and TV shows. Gerard’sin a sort of neutral mood, not entirely happy to be awake, but not entirely sadabout it either. He starts to warm up a little though as he drinks his coffee,becoming more and more relaxed and personable with every sip of his coffee hedrinks.
He holdshis pinky out as he drinks his coffee, not because he has any pretense of beingfancy, but because he’s so accustomed to doing so. The thin red thread tiedaround his pinky finger seems ever more prominent when he holds his pinky out,and it soothes him. It comforts him, and he smiles looking at it without evenknowing he’s doing so.
He can’thelp but to think of the person on the other end of that string, not knowingwho or where they are, but their mere existence comforts Gerard.
The door tothe diner opens a few times behind him, and Gerard feels the cold winter airoutside on his back every time it does so. He’s eager to get his food, as hecan practically hear his stomach grumbling.
About tenminutes later, their waitress, a kind older woman, sets two plates of food downon the table before them, and Gerard’s face lights up instinctually.
He unwrapshis silverware, and stabs a sausage with a fork, while Ray tells him a storyabout something that happened to work.
Gerardhears the sound of something clattering to the floor, and his eyes dart in thatdirection, where he sees that a man in a seat across the diner had dropped hisfork on the ground, causing the small commotion. Unperturbed, Gerard goes backto the meal in front of him, grabbing the pepper shaker and sprinkling a smallamount on his hash browns. The man who had dropped his fork makes a strangesound, and Gerard can’t help but to look over again, to see the man lookingdown at his finger, with confusion on his face. Gerard rolls his eyes, the manprobably just got his thread tangled on something and someone is tugging on it.It happens to Gerard all the time.
Then, Gerardhas a weird tugging feeling on his finger, that practically pulls his hand offthe table, nearly making him fall of the seat itself. Ray looks across thetable at him, with surprise, and Gerard makes a face.
“It musthave just got tangled,” Gerard says sheepishly, pulling himself back fully ontothe seat, and trying to shake off the interruption.
“Motherfucker,”the man sitting across the diner says again, and Gerard sees that he’s onceagain had his finger tugged on, practically pulling him out of his own seat asGerard had experienced.
For a fewminutes longer, there’s nothing, not the slightest twitch or anything, and thenGerard feels tugging again. He groans, because he knows he’s going to have toretrace his steps once they finish eating so that he can untangle his threadfrom wherever it got stuck, but he wants to enjoy his damn meal first.
Gerardpicks up his fork, only to have his hand pulled forcefully again, making thefork fall and clatter down onto the plate. Everyone in the diner turns to stareat the sudden noise, as blushes slightly, feeling ashamed of the interruption.
He decidesinstead to use his other hand, picking his fork up with his left hand, which isfar more difficult than he had imagined.
“You okayover there?” Ray asks, looking at him with a cocked eyebrow as he watches Gerardstruggle to get egg onto his fork.
“It’s just,ugh, it’s usually not so bad,” Gerard says.
“I got minecaught in a revolving door once,” Ray shrugs, “I spent the whole day justbeing, like constantly pulled to the ground.
“Ugh, yeah,probably something like that happened to me,” Gerard says, nodding.
“Sorry,dude,” Ray says, “I’ll help you retrace when we finish eating.”
“Alright,”Gerard nods, and he goes back to very poorly picking food up with his lefthand. He’s almost tempted to switch his hands again when another, extremelystrong tug pulls his hand out of the booth, nearly causing him to hit the waitressas she walks by.
“Oh my god,”Gerard says, breath catching in his throat, but a sigh of relief catches himwhen he doesn’t actually hit the tray out of her hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,love,” she says, “No harm done.” She continues walking and then stops in frontof the guy who has also been having trouble with his thread.
Gerardcatches a glimpse of the guy’s face, which he hasn’t seen much of given thathis back has been turned. He’s about Gerard’s age, long, scraggly black hairall over, with a few piercings which suit him. Gerard doesn’t think much moreof him while he goes back to eating.
For abouttwenty minutes, neither Gerard nor the man across the diner have any worries asthey’ve both settled for using their left hands to eat their food, which meansthat any tugs will at least prevent their silverware from clanging to theground. Oddly enough, both of their strings seem to stop getting tugged in thatwindow of time, but Gerard doesn’t dare switch hands again, for fear that it’llhappen right when he gets his other hand on his fork.
Gerard andRay finish eating, and call for the check. It’s Gerard’s turn to buy, and hehands the waitress the bill back to her before she even leaves the table. He’seager to get his thread untangled.
A fewminutes later, once Gerard is given his receipt, the two of them get ready tomake their way out of the diner. Gerard grabs his things, careful on his righthand in case of disturbances. He and Ray head for the door, when Gerard feelshimself all too suddenly jerked backwards, and he nearly falls to the floor,because it’s the strongest tug yet. He doesn’t notice it, but the man acrossthe diner nearly falls out of his seat at almost the exact same time.
Gerard, alittle winded, looks at Ray, exasperated, as he collects himself, even brusheshimself off for some reason. He calms his breathing, which has practically stoppedfrom the sudden movement, and then he makes to start walking towards the doorwhen it happens again. He’s expecting it more this time, so it doesn’t catchhim off guard to the same extent, but he looks very annoyed at this point.
“It’sprobably caught on something in here,” Ray says, and Gerard nods. He walksbackward, tries to see where the snag in the thread is, because he probably won’teven be able to leave the diner until he figures out where it is.
Gerard followsthe thread, back to where they’d been sitting, and then further into the diner.He looks up, sees himself only a few steps away from the man who’d also beenhaving trouble.
Then Gerardlooks back at his thread, and tries to look ahead of him to see where it ends,and that’s when he notices how short it is. Gerard looks at how very straightit is, which is unusual, and then he follows the thread which somehow seems tobe getting shorter, and then he stops right in front of the booth where the black-hairedman is sitting. Gerard looks down, from his finger, to the pinky of the man infront of him, and then back.
The man,looks up, eyebrows drawn together, and he says “um, can I help you?”
Gerard justholds his pinky up, his fingers still darting from his to the other mans. Theman, looking confused, follows Gerard’s eyes, and then he notices the samething that Gerard had noticed not a moment ago.
The manlifts his own pinky up, and then his hand gets closer to Gerard’s until they’reliterally only an inch apart.
The redthread on Gerard’s finger lies slackly between the two, only about threeinches long now. Gerard, for the first time in his entire life, sees the end ofthe string, which is tied around the pinky finger of this other man.
The twomen, after staring at their fingers for so long, finally look up, and then asmile breaks out on the other man’s face, which Gerard can’t help but to match.
“I’mFrank,” the man says.
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esonetwork · 4 years
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Better Late than Never blog series…goes west: Netflix miniseries ‘Godless’ (2017) – Part 2
New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/better-late-than-never-blog-seriesgoes-west-netflix-miniseries-godless-2017-part-2/
Better Late than Never blog series…goes west: Netflix miniseries ‘Godless’ (2017) – Part 2
Well, when I posted the first part of my review of the Netflix miniseries “Godless” back on March 5, I had no idea how much my life would be changing in the next couple weeks.
Since then, the university I work for has been shut down due to growing concerns about the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19), and I’ll be working from home for the foreseeable future. It’s a strange and scary time, as so many of the normal routines of life have shifted. As a movie reviewer, I’ve found that many of the films I was planning to review over the next couple of weeks have been postponed. My local movie theater is closed down, and the regional comic con I was planning to attend this weekend was cancelled.
However, I’m going to continue my Western-focused blog series, because as geeks I think it’s important that we keep podcasting, blogging, and consuming media that brings us joy. Now that I’ve finished “Godless,” I highly, highly recommend this Netflix series for anyone who is looking for interesting content to stream right now.
Catching up
I covered the first two episodes of the series in my initial blog post, but since I published that a while ago, here’s a quick recap of what the show’s about:
This Western series follows multiple complex characters, including widow Alice Fletcher (played by Michelle Dockery), who’s known plenty of tragedy and likes to keep to herself; sheriff Bill McNue (Scoot McNairy), who still grieves the loss of his wife and is now losing his sight as well; outlaw/terrorist Frank Griffin (Jeff Daniels), who leaves behind a trail of blood wherever he goes; and former outlaw Roy Goode (Jack O’Connell), whose conscience finally gets the better of him and motivates him to turn against Griffin.
The story is primarily set in La Belle, New Mexico, a town that is populated mostly by women (the majority of the men were killed in a tragic mining accident). The women of this town are caught in the crossfire between Roy and Frank, and they’ll do whatever it takes to protect their town and their families.
Revenge and justice
Wow, this was such a great show — I feel like I can’t praise it highly enough. I do appreciate that it is a true miniseries; it tells a complete story in seven episodes, and I honestly wish we’d get more limited series from both big networks and streaming services. With this format, you get to tell a story that’s more expansive than if this same narrative was scrunched down into a two-hour movie, but there’s also a heightened sense of urgency because you know the number of episodes is limited (versus stretching the story across multiple seasons).
Another thing that really helps this series stand out is that it truly felt balanced between male and female characters. Westerns have long been a male-dominated genre, and it’s not often you get to watch a large number of female characters in this type of film. I loved seeing so many wonderful female characters get to play such an active role in the story.
This series manages to be both an epic Western — with a truly high-stakes shoot-out at the very end, with the town’s survival in jeopardy — and a more intimate character drama. You get to learn more about the complicated connections between Roy and Frank, and the reasons why Alice is so hesitant to trust or rely on others.
Spoilers ahead!
There are so many things I want to talk about in this series, and I just can’t keep the discussion spoiler-free any longer, so this is your warning to stop here if you haven’t seen the series yet.
Frank Griffin is a truly terrible man (shout-out to Jeff Daniels for such a creepy and effective performance), and I didn’t feel sad for him one bit when he came to a violent end. But, it was fascinating to hear about how his backstory drove him down such a dark path. Roy Goode could have easily ended up like Frank — especially since, for a time, Frank was like a father to him.
But Frank finally goes too far, and Roy flees, knowing that he’s painted a huge target on his back by leaving the gang. Unfortunately, his interactions with the people of La Belle draw Frank to the sleepy little town, and the women have to take up arms and fight him off, many good people dying in the process.
I liked seeing how Roy became a mentor to Alice’s young son, Truckee. Roy is a much better father figure to Truckee than Frank was to Roy, and you can see how heartbroken Truckee is when Roy eventually has to leave town.
I was pretty sure there would be some kind of romantic subplot between Alice and Roy, and while I’m glad it was explored and I thought it was done well, I appreciated the bittersweet ending, where they each had to go their separate ways. They both find freedom from their pasts, but for Roy, that involves a new life in California.
The show builds up a lot of hype around who will be the person to finally take down Frank Griffin. He’s constantly saying “I’ve seen my death, this ain’t it.” Roy turns out to be the one who kills him, telling Frank, “You’ve seen wrong” when Frank doubts that these are indeed his final moments.
While it makes sense narratively why Roy would be the one to kill Frank, bringing the story full circle, this was maybe the one thing that disappointed me slightly about the ending. I really liked the idea that there was something slightly supernatural going on here, and Frank had genuinely seen a vision of his death. It would have been really interesting if, at the very end, he realizes that he’s actually experiencing the moment from his vision and is going to die. I also would have liked to see one of the female characters defeat Frank, either Alice or Mary Agnes, the sheriff’s sister.
Anyhow, that’s not a criticism, just more of a personal preference as to how I would have liked to see the story end.
Riding off into the sunset
While I’m really tempted to wish for a second season of this show, because it was so good, as I said earlier, I appreciate that this was a limited series and I think it’s best to leave it as it is.
I used to think of the Western genre as being stuffy and outdated, but after this “Better Late than Never…goes west” blog series, I definitely don’t believe that anymore. “Godless” may be set in the past, but the storytelling feels fresh, new, and exciting. It takes risks and delves deeply into its characters, and I loved every minute of it.
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365days365movies · 3 years
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February 24, 2021: Annie Hall (Review)
Just remember, art separate from artist, yeah?
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This is a good movie. This is actually a great movie, if we’re gonna be honest with each other. Genuinely a very funny comedy, but in a different way than one would expect. It’s not usually laugh-out-loud funny, but it’s more funny in its...irreverence, I guess? In any case, the way that Annie Hall is constructed is fantastic, and it deserves to be recognized for those efforts, alongside all (yes, all) of the people involved in it.
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OK, so I’m gonna break this movie down! Here’s Part 1and Part 2 of the Recap if you want to check those out first! OK, here we go!
Review
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Cast and Acting: 9/10
Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are ABSOLUTELY PERFECT in their roles. I mean that, but I mean that in different ways. Woody Allen is, to be frank, Woody Allen. This is the role he’s best known for, in arguably his most beloved film, and also arguably his most culturally relevant work ever. And goddamn is Woody Allen isn’t the only person I think could actually play Alvy Singer. He’s genuinely perfect in the role, and I really do mean that in terms of Woody Allen seemingly not even acting. I can’t divorce the actor from the character because, well...I’m not sure there’s anything to actually divorce. It’s genuinely kind of perfect in that way. But does that mean he’s acting or not? That is a...confusing question.
Keaton on the other hand, IS JUST A GREAT ACTRESS. Yeah, she’s just amazing in the role. And that’s mostly because of the chemistry between the two of them, which feels SO very realistic, that it’s easy to buy. Especially considering that the chemistry just...ends. No dramatic breakup, no climactic ending, very few tears shed; their relationship just comes to an end. Not sans any kicking and screaming, yeah, but still in a realistic way. The supporting characters are also most great (ehhhhhh, maybe not Shelley Duvall), but they all take a back seat to Keaton and Allen. Well...except for Christopher Walken, he was fucking fantastic. I’d say the same for Jeff Goldblum, but he had a single line. it was his film debut, though!
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Plot and Writing: 10/10
Perfect. I’d give this an 11 if I could, because this screenplay and script is...AMAZINGLY executed, and essentially perfect from beginning to end. I don’t even have that much else to say. The quippy dialogue, the jokes, the quotable lines, the metacontextual shit, ALL OF IT IS AMAZING. Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman, BRA-FUCKING-VO.
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Directing and Cinematography: 10/10
AND AGAIN, THIS IS AMAZING. Woody Allen’s direction is amazing, and I say that with no pretense whatsoever. There’s not a moment in this film that I can say looked bad. It’s just so goddamn good all throughout, and the directorial style of Allen, alongside how he constructs his movies, is just stellar. Genuinely makes me want to watch more of his films. Oh, and Gordon Willis’ cinematography is also footing the bill for good quality here, lemme tell you. Seriously, the whole movie just works. But that’s not the only part of its appearance to notice.
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Production and Art Design: 9/10
Diane Keaton’s wardrobe is ON FIRE at some point in this movie, especially when the two meet for the first time. I mean, that shit is iconic as hell, to coin a phrase. It’s gorgeous, and I love it a lot. Now, that’s not a universal quality throughout the film, but it’s still overall a great looking movie in terms of set design. If I had one problem: you guessed it, it’s anachronisms. This movie goes through Alvy’s relationships, and by my claulcations, one of them takes place in the early 1960s, and you’d never be able to tell. That could’ve been polished. BUT OTHERWISE, stellar.
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Music and Editing: 8/10
Had NO idea that Diane Keaton could sing, but she can definitely sing! Very well, honestly. And her songs are great throughout the fil...and I remember no other music. It was good, I remember thinking that it was nice, but there also wasn’t a lot of it, from what I actually remember. But why the relatively high score? BECAUSE THE EDITING IS FUCKING PHENOMENAL ENOUGH TO COMPENSATE. It’s just...SO GOOD. The way shots are superimposed on or next to each other, using visual storytelling to accompany the masterful verbal storytelling through clever edits, it’s just....UUUUUUUGGGGGGGH IT’S SO GOOOHOHOOOOOOD! Great job, Ralph Rosenblum, seriously.
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94%? 94%. For SURE a goddamn 94%, if not HIGHER.
Because I’m REEEEAL tempted to add a number onto that Music and Editing section, but...no. 94% works for me.
Fact of the matter is, despite what it’s creator may or may not have done (I know that even his guilt is up for debate and controversial, from what I’ve heard), this movie FUCKING RULES. And I would recommend it...with some minor misgivings based on his reputation at the time of recommendation.
OK, how do I segue out of this into the next one? Well...we’ve covered major leading men, and this one had a leading man, but was named after a woman. Why not another movie named after a woman, with the woman as the main character? And, considering that I’ve spent half this month in New York, cinematically speaking, why don’t we broaden our scope a touch? In other words:
Quelqu’un voudrait-il de la crème brûlée?
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February 25, 2021: Amélie (2001)
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how2to18 · 6 years
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CRITICS GENERALLY DEFINE “Lynchian” as the cohabitation of the macabre and the mundane. The severed ear hidden in the field in Blue Velvet may be the most iconic representation of this junction, but it’s everywhere in David Lynch’s work: from Twin Peaks’s sweet, brochure-like title sequence of a mountainous town that, as it turns out, hides Laura Palmer’s corpse and many other monstrosities, to the arrival of Naomi Watts’s aspiring actress Betty in a dreamlike Hollywood in Mulholland Drive, before the nightmare of that city consumes her. In Lynch’s early work, the small town is the theater of this dance of innocence and evil, but in his later films, namely the loose trilogy of Lost Highway (1997), Mulholland Drive (2001), and Inland Empire (2006), the macabre and the mundane coexist in the individual soul. Upon reading Room to Dream — Lynch’s newly released experimental memoir — one’s tempted to say that the same coupling exists in David Lynch himself.
With Lynch treading into his 70s, it’s an appropriate time for Room to Dream. This hybrid of biography and memoir by Lynch and journalist/critic Kristine McKenna offers hope of understanding an artist who, four decades into his career, remains a subject of much mystery and misinterpretation. Even his old school friends still don’t know the source of Lynch’s Lynchianism.
McKenna and Lynch alternate chapters, starting with McKenna, who covers a period of her subject’s life through extensive interviews with those who know and have worked with him, in turn prompting a chapter from the director about the same period. In sum, the book presents a quirky but ultimately lovable — and widely loved — man. With output as dark as his, one expects the outward oddity of an Alan Moore or a Tim Burton, or the intensity of a Terry Gilliam. When I describe him as one-part “mundane,” then, I don’t mean that Lynch is tedious in any sense, but that his persona is so endearing, so enamored of life and film, so — indeed — normal, that it’s confounding to think that behind this childlike chirpiness is the mind that gave us the ear and the depraved Frank Booth who severed it.
A straightforward summary of David’s upbringing, largely devoid of turbulence, would be a bore. The value of this book is in getting closer to the origins of Lynch’s art, which, as McKenna eloquently puts it, “resides in the complicated zone where the beautiful and the damned collide.” His early years seem to have provided the foundations. Born in 1946, he spent his childhood in Boise, Idaho, before moving to Alexandria, Virginia, as a teen, where he discovered his first love: painting. Nostalgia for Boise seems to have turned the middle-class small town into an ideal in Lynch’s heart that echoes in his work. McKenna writes:
The 1950s have never really gone away for Lynch. Moms in cotton shirtwaist dresses smiling as they pull freshly baked pies out of ovens; broad-chested dads in sport shirts cooking meat on a barbecue or heading off to work in suits; the ubiquitous cigarettes […] classic rock ‘n’ roll; diner waitresses wearing cute little caps; girls in bobby sox and saddle shoes, sweaters and pleated plaid skirts — these are all elements of Lynch’s aesthetic vocabulary.
There’s an elegy to this aesthetic in Mulholland Drive’s opening title sequence: splices of all those boys and girls swing dancing as if in a jitterbug contest. Hollywood is radiating ’50s congeniality as Betty emerges from the airport, escorted to her cab by a warm elderly couple expressing full confidence that they’ll soon see her on their TV screens. “Won’t that be the day!” Betty merrily replies. But the garish frozen smiles on that elderly couple as they leave Betty, like that of Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman, offer a warning that this affable setting, like the vivid rosebushes that open Blue Velvet, will be subverted in due course.
Lynch’s father, Donald, worked for the agriculture department. McKenna posits, “Perhaps his father’s work dealing with diseased trees imbued him with a heightened awareness of what he has described as ‘the wild pain and decay’ that lurk beneath the surface of things.” In Lynch’s hands, however, decay is not a function of time and history as it is, say, in the writings of V. S. Naipaul and W. G. Sebald, but of the permanent presence of something threatening in humanity’s character. In part, his art is a parable of the rural-urban transition. Anxiety about big cities harassed him early, derived perhaps from childhood visits to New York. Lynch writes, “Everything about New York made me fearful. The subways were just unreal. Going down into this place, and the smell, and this wind would come with the trains, and the sound — I’d see different things in New York that made me fearful.” A move to Philadelphia in the mid-1960s, after unsuccessful attempts to keep a steady menial job in Alexandria, seems to have refined this anxiety into an artistic doctrine. According to McKenna, “The chaos of Philadelphia was in direct opposition to the abundance and optimism of the world he’d grown up in, and reconciling these two extremes was to become one of the enduring themes of his art.” The city was “dangerous and dirty,” providing “rich mulch for Lynch’s imagination.”
In Philadelphia, like the gushing water hydrant that gave Saul Bellow a new writing style, Lynch found his epiphany when, supposedly, some wind caused “a flicker of movement” in a painting he’d made of a figure standing among foliage. “Like a gift bestowed on him from the ether,” McKenna writes, “the idea of a moving painting clicked into focus in his mind.”
Some well-received shorts at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts yielded an opportunity, upon moving to Los Angeles, to make his poem to urban horror, Eraserhead (1977). An underground success, the film caught the attention of influential studio players, including Mel Brooks, who gave Lynch the opportunity to make The Elephant Man (1980), which would go on to be nominated for eight Academy Awards. Dune came next in 1984, an artistic and professional debacle that ended up being a necessary turning pointing, from which Lynch emerged more resolute to fully own his material. “You die two deaths […] And that was Dune,” he writes. “You die once because you sold out, and you die twice because it was a failure.” (Whereas with the 1992 critical and commercial flop, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, he feels he only died once, since it was authentic Lynch.) Two years later, he got his revenge with a movie that was completely his.
Three things comingled to produce Blue Velvet in Lynch’s mind: Bobby Vinton’s song of the same name, which on a second hearing (after finding it “schmaltzy” the first time) summoned the image of green lawns, red lips, and, finally, a severed ear in a field. “I don’t know why it had to be an ear,” Lynch writes, “except it needed to be an opening of a part of the body […] The ear sits on the head and goes right into the mind, so it felt perfect.”
It is indeed captivating to read both McKenna and Lynch on the origin of his stories. Many like Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks, and 1990’s Wild at Heart (based on a Barry Gifford novel), do have a basic plot, but their artistic merit is in their accumulation of effects and moments. As Julian Barnes wrote of a net in Flaubert’s Parrot: rather than “a meshed instrument designed to catch fish,” each can be seen as a “collection of holes tied together with string.” Room to Dream shows us how Lynch went about collecting his holes — from dreams he barely remembered, to a mysterious line spoken at the other end of a receiver, to people spotted on the side of the road who move him in some way and end up playing a role in one of his films. Collaborations were equally critical to his career. The most famous of these are Mark Frost, who co-created Twin Peaks and its reboot, and Angelo Badalamenti, who composed the series’s musical score, but others like Jack Fisk, a fellow painter and friend since the Alexandria days, and Dean Hurley, who mixed the sound of Inland Empire, also get their due.
As Lynch’s net gets wider, so, too, do the holes. By Lost Highway in 1997, the narrative barely coheres. Instead the pleasure is in a growing radicalism in Lynch’s storytelling: the Mystery Man who tells Bill Pullman’s Fred Madison not only that that they’ve met before, at Fred’s house, but that he, the Mystery Man, is at Fred’s house at that very moment, and goes on to prove it; Fred’s metamorphosis in prison into Pete, played by Balthazar Getty, a young man with a completely different life, though it does ultimately intersect with Fred’s again, at which point Pete turns back into Fred. Lost Highway offers a kind of quantum theory of personality, where you’re only probably who you are. Inland Empire, the most encrypted of all of Lynch’s movies, largely abolishes narrative altogether and instead ties disparate Lynch ideas — a sitcom of people in rabbit costumes, Polish prostitutes, psychosis — to a central story about a cursed film set.
¤
Lynch’s prose has all the innocence of the deceptive first part of a Lynch movie. The same guy who, McKenna tells us, finds pleasure in collecting human remains — embryos in bell jars, for example — and who once asked a woman who was about to have a hysterectomy if he could have her uterus, addresses the reader with things like, “I’ll tell you about a kiss I really remember.” About that encounter: “That was a kiss that got deeper and deeper, and it was lighting some fire.” About masturbation: “So I thought, I’m going to try this tonight. It took forever. Nothing was happening, right? And all of a sudden this feeling — I thought, Where is this feeling coming from? Whoa! The story was true and it was unbelievable. It was like discovering fire.” He doesn’t sound the least bit boastful when he says, “They thought I was so handsome. It was really great.” Or the least bit intimidating when he describes how “[a]nger came up in me like unreal.” His writing is sprayed with “sort ofs” and “kind ofs” and “so cools.” The hard work required to get Eraserhead into Cannes “almost killed me” — not because of the long hours themselves but because this meant giving up milkshake breaks. That, for Lynch, is one of the crises of fame.
There is, however, a problem with this kind of charm. It’s ultimately a performance, not in the sense that it’s inauthentic, but because it’s the voice of a raconteur; there’s something inevitably impersonal about it. Lynch doesn’t make you feel like you’re in a one-on-one with him, but instead like you’re one among several sitting on barstools around him. When McKenna writes of a divorce, she prepares us for Lynch’s perspective, but that never comes. His mother’s 2004 death in a car crash gets little attention from McKenna and none from Lynch — even as his ex-wife Mary Sweeney suggests “he was changed by his mother’s death.” Meanwhile, Lynch, a transcendental meditation devotee, devotes but a few pages to the death of the Indian guru Maharishi, whose funeral he flew to India to attend.
McKenna ends up not being too big a help here. While she understands her subject well, she’s also too close to him. Her fondness for her subject is not in itself a problem, especially given how universally loved Lynch seems to be. But when McKenna says, “Lynch is good at tuning out static,” or that “you’ve got to hand it to him” that he could make a film like Lost Highway, or that “[h]e doesn’t like it when things get too big and unwieldy, and he wants to be left in peace to make whatever it is he’s decided to make; it’s never been about fame or money for him,” she sounds less like a biographer than a friend. Even in discussing flops like Fire Walk with Me, McKenna seems keen not to hurt Lynch’s feelings. She seems much more comfortable calling a Lynch film a masterpiece.
Indeed, once we get to start of Lynch’s movie career, Room to Dream is less a biography than deep reporting of each of Lynch’s major projects, and some minor ones. Divorces are mentioned, for example, because they coincide with a film. Part of the problem is conceptual. Because Lynch would read the preceding McKenna chapter, it’s unsurprising that McKenna isn’t inclined toward too probing an account. But this sacrifices candor and revelation, and it’s hard to see the value of this peculiar framework. The fault may lie more with Lynch than McKenna, since he isn’t given to confession. His current wife, Emily Stofle, says, “We’re still very sweet to each other […] but he’s selfish, and as much as he meditates, I don’t know how self-reflective David is.” This comes not long after McKenna claims Lynch “has a unique gift for intimacy.” What draws readers to a biography or memoir like this is the question of how a great artist lives in and with the world. We don’t get the whole story here.
We do nevertheless get a sense of how Lynch’s imagination works, and how he brings that imagination to the screen. Blue Velvet’s editor seems to represent the majority view when he says, “It’s an honor to work with his material, because that’s sacred clay he produces.” If we don’t get enough of Lynch’s warts, at least we get to see him and the people around him playing with that clay.
¤
Shehryar Fazli is a Pakistan-based essayist, political analyst, and novelist.
The post David Lynch’s Sacred Clay appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.
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topmixtrends · 6 years
Link
CRITICS GENERALLY DEFINE “Lynchian” as the cohabitation of the macabre and the mundane. The severed ear hidden in the field in Blue Velvet may be the most iconic representation of this junction, but it’s everywhere in David Lynch’s work: from Twin Peaks’s sweet, brochure-like title sequence of a mountainous town that, as it turns out, hides Laura Palmer’s corpse and many other monstrosities, to the arrival of Naomi Watts’s aspiring actress Betty in a dreamlike Hollywood in Mulholland Drive, before the nightmare of that city consumes her. In Lynch’s early work, the small town is the theater of this dance of innocence and evil, but in his later films, namely the loose trilogy of Lost Highway (1997), Mulholland Drive (2001), and Inland Empire (2006), the macabre and the mundane coexist in the individual soul. Upon reading Room to Dream — Lynch’s newly released experimental memoir — one’s tempted to say that the same coupling exists in David Lynch himself.
With Lynch treading into his 70s, it’s an appropriate time for Room to Dream. This hybrid of biography and memoir by Lynch and journalist/critic Kristine McKenna offers hope of understanding an artist who, four decades into his career, remains a subject of much mystery and misinterpretation. Even his old school friends still don’t know the source of Lynch’s Lynchianism.
McKenna and Lynch alternate chapters, starting with McKenna, who covers a period of her subject’s life through extensive interviews with those who know and have worked with him, in turn prompting a chapter from the director about the same period. In sum, the book presents a quirky but ultimately lovable — and widely loved — man. With output as dark as his, one expects the outward oddity of an Alan Moore or a Tim Burton, or the intensity of a Terry Gilliam. When I describe him as one-part “mundane,” then, I don’t mean that Lynch is tedious in any sense, but that his persona is so endearing, so enamored of life and film, so — indeed — normal, that it’s confounding to think that behind this childlike chirpiness is the mind that gave us the ear and the depraved Frank Booth who severed it.
A straightforward summary of David’s upbringing, largely devoid of turbulence, would be a bore. The value of this book is in getting closer to the origins of Lynch’s art, which, as McKenna eloquently puts it, “resides in the complicated zone where the beautiful and the damned collide.” His early years seem to have provided the foundations. Born in 1946, he spent his childhood in Boise, Idaho, before moving to Alexandria, Virginia, as a teen, where he discovered his first love: painting. Nostalgia for Boise seems to have turned the middle-class small town into an ideal in Lynch’s heart that echoes in his work. McKenna writes:
The 1950s have never really gone away for Lynch. Moms in cotton shirtwaist dresses smiling as they pull freshly baked pies out of ovens; broad-chested dads in sport shirts cooking meat on a barbecue or heading off to work in suits; the ubiquitous cigarettes […] classic rock ‘n’ roll; diner waitresses wearing cute little caps; girls in bobby sox and saddle shoes, sweaters and pleated plaid skirts — these are all elements of Lynch’s aesthetic vocabulary.
There’s an elegy to this aesthetic in Mulholland Drive’s opening title sequence: splices of all those boys and girls swing dancing as if in a jitterbug contest. Hollywood is radiating ’50s congeniality as Betty emerges from the airport, escorted to her cab by a warm elderly couple expressing full confidence that they’ll soon see her on their TV screens. “Won’t that be the day!” Betty merrily replies. But the garish frozen smiles on that elderly couple as they leave Betty, like that of Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman, offer a warning that this affable setting, like the vivid rosebushes that open Blue Velvet, will be subverted in due course.
Lynch’s father, Donald, worked for the agriculture department. McKenna posits, “Perhaps his father’s work dealing with diseased trees imbued him with a heightened awareness of what he has described as ‘the wild pain and decay’ that lurk beneath the surface of things.” In Lynch’s hands, however, decay is not a function of time and history as it is, say, in the writings of V. S. Naipaul and W. G. Sebald, but of the permanent presence of something threatening in humanity’s character. In part, his art is a parable of the rural-urban transition. Anxiety about big cities harassed him early, derived perhaps from childhood visits to New York. Lynch writes, “Everything about New York made me fearful. The subways were just unreal. Going down into this place, and the smell, and this wind would come with the trains, and the sound — I’d see different things in New York that made me fearful.” A move to Philadelphia in the mid-1960s, after unsuccessful attempts to keep a steady menial job in Alexandria, seems to have refined this anxiety into an artistic doctrine. According to McKenna, “The chaos of Philadelphia was in direct opposition to the abundance and optimism of the world he’d grown up in, and reconciling these two extremes was to become one of the enduring themes of his art.” The city was “dangerous and dirty,” providing “rich mulch for Lynch’s imagination.”
In Philadelphia, like the gushing water hydrant that gave Saul Bellow a new writing style, Lynch found his epiphany when, supposedly, some wind caused “a flicker of movement” in a painting he’d made of a figure standing among foliage. “Like a gift bestowed on him from the ether,” McKenna writes, “the idea of a moving painting clicked into focus in his mind.”
Some well-received shorts at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts yielded an opportunity, upon moving to Los Angeles, to make his poem to urban horror, Eraserhead (1977). An underground success, the film caught the attention of influential studio players, including Mel Brooks, who gave Lynch the opportunity to make The Elephant Man (1980), which would go on to be nominated for eight Academy Awards. Dune came next in 1984, an artistic and professional debacle that ended up being a necessary turning pointing, from which Lynch emerged more resolute to fully own his material. “You die two deaths […] And that was Dune,” he writes. “You die once because you sold out, and you die twice because it was a failure.” (Whereas with the 1992 critical and commercial flop, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, he feels he only died once, since it was authentic Lynch.) Two years later, he got his revenge with a movie that was completely his.
Three things comingled to produce Blue Velvet in Lynch’s mind: Bobby Vinton’s song of the same name, which on a second hearing (after finding it “schmaltzy” the first time) summoned the image of green lawns, red lips, and, finally, a severed ear in a field. “I don’t know why it had to be an ear,” Lynch writes, “except it needed to be an opening of a part of the body […] The ear sits on the head and goes right into the mind, so it felt perfect.”
It is indeed captivating to read both McKenna and Lynch on the origin of his stories. Many like Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks, and 1990’s Wild at Heart (based on a Barry Gifford novel), do have a basic plot, but their artistic merit is in their accumulation of effects and moments. As Julian Barnes wrote of a net in Flaubert’s Parrot: rather than “a meshed instrument designed to catch fish,” each can be seen as a “collection of holes tied together with string.” Room to Dream shows us how Lynch went about collecting his holes — from dreams he barely remembered, to a mysterious line spoken at the other end of a receiver, to people spotted on the side of the road who move him in some way and end up playing a role in one of his films. Collaborations were equally critical to his career. The most famous of these are Mark Frost, who co-created Twin Peaks and its reboot, and Angelo Badalamenti, who composed the series’s musical score, but others like Jack Fisk, a fellow painter and friend since the Alexandria days, and Dean Hurley, who mixed the sound of Inland Empire, also get their due.
As Lynch’s net gets wider, so, too, do the holes. By Lost Highway in 1997, the narrative barely coheres. Instead the pleasure is in a growing radicalism in Lynch’s storytelling: the Mystery Man who tells Bill Pullman’s Fred Madison not only that that they’ve met before, at Fred’s house, but that he, the Mystery Man, is at Fred’s house at that very moment, and goes on to prove it; Fred’s metamorphosis in prison into Pete, played by Balthazar Getty, a young man with a completely different life, though it does ultimately intersect with Fred’s again, at which point Pete turns back into Fred. Lost Highway offers a kind of quantum theory of personality, where you’re only probably who you are. Inland Empire, the most encrypted of all of Lynch’s movies, largely abolishes narrative altogether and instead ties disparate Lynch ideas — a sitcom of people in rabbit costumes, Polish prostitutes, psychosis — to a central story about a cursed film set.
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Lynch’s prose has all the innocence of the deceptive first part of a Lynch movie. The same guy who, McKenna tells us, finds pleasure in collecting human remains — embryos in bell jars, for example — and who once asked a woman who was about to have a hysterectomy if he could have her uterus, addresses the reader with things like, “I’ll tell you about a kiss I really remember.” About that encounter: “That was a kiss that got deeper and deeper, and it was lighting some fire.” About masturbation: “So I thought, I’m going to try this tonight. It took forever. Nothing was happening, right? And all of a sudden this feeling — I thought, Where is this feeling coming from? Whoa! The story was true and it was unbelievable. It was like discovering fire.” He doesn’t sound the least bit boastful when he says, “They thought I was so handsome. It was really great.” Or the least bit intimidating when he describes how “[a]nger came up in me like unreal.” His writing is sprayed with “sort ofs” and “kind ofs” and “so cools.” The hard work required to get Eraserhead into Cannes “almost killed me” — not because of the long hours themselves but because this meant giving up milkshake breaks. That, for Lynch, is one of the crises of fame.
There is, however, a problem with this kind of charm. It’s ultimately a performance, not in the sense that it’s inauthentic, but because it’s the voice of a raconteur; there’s something inevitably impersonal about it. Lynch doesn’t make you feel like you’re in a one-on-one with him, but instead like you’re one among several sitting on barstools around him. When McKenna writes of a divorce, she prepares us for Lynch’s perspective, but that never comes. His mother’s 2004 death in a car crash gets little attention from McKenna and none from Lynch — even as his ex-wife Mary Sweeney suggests “he was changed by his mother’s death.” Meanwhile, Lynch, a transcendental meditation devotee, devotes but a few pages to the death of the Indian guru Maharishi, whose funeral he flew to India to attend.
McKenna ends up not being too big a help here. While she understands her subject well, she’s also too close to him. Her fondness for her subject is not in itself a problem, especially given how universally loved Lynch seems to be. But when McKenna says, “Lynch is good at tuning out static,” or that “you’ve got to hand it to him” that he could make a film like Lost Highway, or that “[h]e doesn’t like it when things get too big and unwieldy, and he wants to be left in peace to make whatever it is he’s decided to make; it’s never been about fame or money for him,” she sounds less like a biographer than a friend. Even in discussing flops like Fire Walk with Me, McKenna seems keen not to hurt Lynch’s feelings. She seems much more comfortable calling a Lynch film a masterpiece.
Indeed, once we get to start of Lynch’s movie career, Room to Dream is less a biography than deep reporting of each of Lynch’s major projects, and some minor ones. Divorces are mentioned, for example, because they coincide with a film. Part of the problem is conceptual. Because Lynch would read the preceding McKenna chapter, it’s unsurprising that McKenna isn’t inclined toward too probing an account. But this sacrifices candor and revelation, and it’s hard to see the value of this peculiar framework. The fault may lie more with Lynch than McKenna, since he isn’t given to confession. His current wife, Emily Stofle, says, “We’re still very sweet to each other […] but he’s selfish, and as much as he meditates, I don’t know how self-reflective David is.” This comes not long after McKenna claims Lynch “has a unique gift for intimacy.” What draws readers to a biography or memoir like this is the question of how a great artist lives in and with the world. We don’t get the whole story here.
We do nevertheless get a sense of how Lynch’s imagination works, and how he brings that imagination to the screen. Blue Velvet’s editor seems to represent the majority view when he says, “It’s an honor to work with his material, because that’s sacred clay he produces.” If we don’t get enough of Lynch’s warts, at least we get to see him and the people around him playing with that clay.
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Shehryar Fazli is a Pakistan-based essayist, political analyst, and novelist.
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The True Will Shakespeare
by Linda Fetterly Root
A comparison of the three earliest portraits, compiled by Stratford Brice from Public Domain Art- Wikimedia
The faces of William Shakespeare The three earliest portraits of Will Shakespeare are compared above. The first two were likely painted while he lived and the third was used when his first Folio was published. All three portraits are ante-dated by the sculpted image at Shakespeare's burial site in Trinity Church, shown below. A Man of Natural Talent or a Ghostwriter? I realize there are otherwise credible people who deny the Holocaust, the moon landing, the existence of the historical Jesus, and the assassination of JFK by Lee Harvey Oswald. Most of them are motivated by a political point-of-view compatible with their belief structure. I find no such justification for questioning the contribution to world literature by a guy named William Shakespeare. This does not mean other writers might not have contributed to his works. But does anyone claim Jim Henson did not create the Muppets simply because a second inventive genius named Frank Oz was involved? In treating the question, it would be disingenuous of me to claim the insight of the many distinguished thinkers who have raised the point: Freud, Samuel Clemons, and Helen Keller, to name a few, but their acknowledge genius does not make them right. Some of the disclaimers are based on mathematical analysis of word use and structure, others on principles of linguistics or the viewpoints expressed in the plays. Mine is simplistic and based on what we do know about Shakespeare, and what I know about the nature of writers. 
Shakespeare was real
Those disclaiming Shakespeare's authorship of his many plays do not go so far as to claim there was no such person as William Shakespeare, the young man from Stratford-on-Avon. There is no question a merchant named John Shakespeare and his wealthy wife Mary Arden gave birth to a son named William, who was baptized by that name on April 26, 1564, at Trinity Church in Stratford-on-Avon. The custom of the times would suggest the ceremony occurred approximately three days after birth, which is why April 23rd is accepted as Shakespeare's birthday. Below is the record of John Shakespeare's son William's baptism.
While some doubters stress the paucity of information about Shakespeare's early years to question the authenticity of his achievements, that is not the case when one factors in the profile of his father. John Shakespeare was politically active at the rural level, with ties to Midland England's aristocratic families including the Catesbys and probably the Treshams and Vauxes. At one time he was the Bailiff of Stratford—in modern terms, its mayor, a position unlikely to have been awarded to a highly visible recusant.
The restored family home on Henley Street, Stratford-on-Avon
At the time of Shakespeare's birth, his father was probably what was called a closet Catholic—those who gave the outward appearance of embracing Anglicanism, but embraced the auld religion in the privacy of the home. His wife Mary Arden was Protestant and came from a wealthy family. She gave birth to eight children, five of whom survived into adulthood. William Shakespeare probably attended the parish school in Stratford, which kept no surviving records. Some writers presume he was home schooled, but that is unlikely. While there was no compulsory education in early modern England, there were penalties imposed for homeschooling to avoid the curricula of parish churches, and until 1762, it was against the law for Catholics to teach. In addition, the prevailing evidence indicates both of his parents were illiterate. That single fact has been used to attack Shakespeare's authorship of the large body of literature published in his name, but it confuses literacy with intellect. Literate or not, Shakespeare's father was a civic leader. Snitterfield, the village where John Shakespeare grew to adulthood, had no parish school, but Stratford did. In all accounts, John Shakespeare was a successful designer/fabricator of leather gloves and headgear, with more than an average dose of entrepreneurship. He did, however, suffer an economic set-back possibly associated with his association with his Catholic leanings, or because his real estate investments were lucrative, but his other money lending was not, and at one point he had been charged and fined for usury. He became reclusive and ceased attending counsel meetings. Some writers state he was rehabilitated before his death, but by that time, his son William had acquired considerable wealth and influence, and may have been responsible for his father being granted a Coat of Arms which Shakespeare himself later used.
Sketch of the Schoolhouse at Stratford (PD Art)
Shakespeare was influenced by historical and religious events, consistent with themes expressed in his poetry and plays John Shakespeare and William Catesby, father of the leader of the Gunpowder conspirators, were both dignitaries in their separate Midland communities and were friends. On one occasion, both appeared on the same list of those who had been fined by the Protestant church hierarchy for missing mandatory services. Both families had ties to the nascent Jesuit mission to England launched by the priests Edmund Campion and his Jesuit superior, Fr. Robert Persons. Shortly after their arrival, the priests traveled to the Midlands, a hotbed of recusancy and Counter-Reformation sentiment. Father Campion likely stayed in the Catesby home, a mere 18 miles from Stratford-on-Avon. Persons is believed to have stayed with the Shakespeares.[1] There is evidence the two Jesuits distributed copies of a document to the recusants who harbored them. It was designed to be used as a model Spiritual Will and constituted a declaration of its testator's abiding Catholic Faith. A handwritten copy signed by John Shakespeare and believed to be, for the most part, genuine was found in the rafters of one of William Shakespeare's houses in 1757, although the first two provisions were likely forged by the man named Jordan who discovered them. Unfortunately, the entire document was later lost. Only it's translation survives.[2] Some historians use the materials concerning John Shakespeare as proof his famous son William knew the later martyred and Canonized Edmund Campion personally, but while it is possible, it is speculative. Shakespeare would have been a child at the time. What is apparent is Shakespeare's youthful exposure to the English Catholic cause and thought which surely shaped his works. During his career, Shakespeare demonstrated the ability to treat issues in a provocative manner nevertheless inoffensive to his sovereign.
The lack of record does not mean Shakespeare was uneducated
One argument against Shakespeare as the likely author of his plays is a lack of education, a highly Charlatan point of view fed by its companion argument raising the lack of historical record of his youth. Each argument feeds the other, and neither considers what I consider to be a highly salient fact: in Shakespeare's day, a Catholic education was illegal. It is likely that a child born of a recusant family might be overlooked in a rural schoolhouse, but those who advanced to England's few universities were vetted and culled. This does not mean there were no highly educated Elizabethan Catholics, but those who were had been educated abroad. The prime mover of the Gunpowder plot, Robert Catesby, attended nearby Oxford but dropped out rather than sign the Oath of Supremacy demanded of university graduates. Had Shakespeare been sent to Oxford, he would have faced the same obstacle. As stated above, homeschooling was a criminal offense. Also, Shakespeare's parents did not have the expertise to teach, but once the Jesuits appeared in the Midlands during Shakespeare's early adolescence, it would not have been that difficult to place an educated priest or layman tutor in the home under the guise of a footman or a stablemaster. Before his father's financial problems arose, the Shakespeare household could have afforded one. Other Midlanders such as the female recusant Eliza Roper, the Dowager Lady Vaux, held her own when interrogated by men like Lord Robert Cecil and his henchman Coke when suspected of harboring the much-sought-after Hunted Priest [3]John Gerard, and survived to establish a clandestine Jesuit boys' school at the family estate at Great Harrowden .There is evidence the Wizard Earl of Northumberland intended to establish a similar school in the courtyard at Warkworth Castle. We cannot eliminate Will Shakespeare and the author of plays like Lear simply because he did not make his way to Oxford. Nor would he have been ignorant of the dramatic form. Not only were plays written in Latin, a part of the grammar school curriculum at parish schools like the one in Stratford, but during Shakespeare's youth, aldermen issued licenses to more than twenty traveling theatrical companies [4] . And while It is tempting to confuse the terms educated and smart, even in modern times, such assumptions invite mistake. Think of John Steinbeck packing his duffel and leaving Stanford. Ben Franklin was homeschooled, and Ben Affleck dropped out of both the University of Vermont and Occidental College. Ever hear of a guy named Bill Gates? Frank Lloyd Wright? No one accuses self-taught Abraham Lincoln of having hired a ghostwriter to draft the Gettysburg address[5]. Look at your own life and think about gifted people you have encountered and ask yourself how many of them did not acquire their genius in a classroom.
What about William Shakespeare's early history? 
From the china cabinet of Linda Root, photo by the author
To illustrate the weakness of the argument of those who find insufficient evidence of Shakespeare's potential because of the lack of documents from his youth, I entered the name of the most famous of my grammar school classmates into several search engines, and did not find enough information to distinguish him from others of the same name, although he has served as head of a federal financial entity. Next, I tried the same with the most successful graduate of my high school class and was overwhelmed by posting and videos, but none which dated back to his youth and early successes and failures. Why should we demand more of William Shakespeare than we do of Ron Rosenfeld or Dan Spinazzola? With Shakespeare, images of his birthplace, the site of his christening, and the houses of his mother, Mary Arden and his wife, Anne Hathaway can be found in the dinnerware in my credenza. We know William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway and they raised three children in Stratford-on-Avon, where his family remained when he moved to London. Details as to how he amassed his moderate fortune are sketchy, but hardly to the point to justify labeling his life as a husband and father living in rural England as 'Lost Years.' While there are several plausible stories as to what might have lured Shakespeare into the theater, and thus, to London, all of them are speculative. The fact, however, is he went, and by the time he arrived, he already had a reputation as an actor and fledgling playwright sufficiently widespread for a presumably jealous colleague, successful and prolific author Robert Greene, to call him an 'upstart crow'.[6] ,[7] What Greene did not call him was a plagiarizer. Robert Greene was not a fan of his youthful rival. He wrote his contemporary dramatists and begged them to put the upstart in his place. He may have thought Shakespeare's early works borrowed heavily on extant histories, but he never accused Shakespeare of putting his name to works penned by colleagues. The informative book, The Drama: Its History, Literature and Influence on Civilization, vol 13, ed. Alfred Bates, London, Historical Publishing Company, 1906, pp. 104-107 makes a compelling case for Shakespeare's authorship of his plays by referring to Robert Greene's acerbic criticism, written shortly before Greene's death in 1592 in critiques approaching the polemic. In The Drama, Bates make the following point concerning Shakespeare's productivity during the years prior to the bard's arrival in London only a year before his detractor's death:
'Even in his wrath, however, Greene bears eloquent witness to Shakespeare's diligence, ability and success, both as actor and playwright. Of Shakespeare's amazing industry, and also of his success, there is ample evidence. Within six or seven years he not only produced the brilliant, reflective and descriptive poems of Venus and Adonis and Lucrece but at least fifteen of his dramas, including tragedies, comedies and historical plays'.
In conclusion, an argument I find compelling is based on my experience as a writer and a former prosecutor: Shakespeare's contemporaries most often propounded as the true authors of his plays never raised their claim. Those of us who write or perform are a prideful lot. We also have acquired the gift of access to a public audience: in essence, we have Voice. Would Ben Johnson, Francis Bacon and Christopher Marlowe, all of whom have been nominated as the true Will Shakespeare have remained silent when their colleague from Stratford-on -Avon claimed their masterworks? Never.
Christopher Marloew
Sir Francis Bacon
Ben Johnson
The Stratford Bust, possibly taken from a death mask.
References: [1] Pearce, Joseph, The Quest for Shakespeare, Ignatius Press, 2008. [2] Roth, Steve, Hamlet: The Undiscovered Country, Open House, 2 edition (December 23, 2013)3. [3]Gerard, John. S.J., The Autobiography of a Hunted Priest (Translated from the Latin by Philip Caraman, S.J., Ignatius Press, San Francisco, 1952 [4] Wikipedia, 'Shakespeare's Life: The Lost Years' [5] See https://despicablewonderfulyou.wordpress.com/2013/02/24/brilliant-minds-and-great-people-not-necessarily-with-a-college-degree/ [6] Robert Greene, Wikimedia, Shakespeare's Life: The Lord years, and ` http://www.theatrehistory.com The Drama; Its History, Literature and Influence on Civilization: British drama – Alfred Bates, James Penny Boyd, John Porter Lamberton [7] Bates, et al, Ibid.
~~~~~~~~~~ Linda Fetterly Root is a writer of historical fiction set in Marie Stuart's Scotland and Early Modern Britain. She is a retired major crimes prosecutor living in the Morongo Basin area of the Southern California hi-desert, on the edge of Joshua Tree National Park. She is a member of the Marie Stuart Society, the Historical Novel Society, and the Bars of California and the United States Supreme Court. William Shakespeare appears briefly in her current work-in-progress, The Deliverance of the Lamb, based upon the escape from England of flamboyant Jesuit John Gerard.
Hat Tip To: English Historical Fiction Authors
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