old doodles ive been sitting on for a while now

Moe Moe Mallekei Kyun~

In which Malleus and Cater go to a maid café, and shenanigans ensue.

... I’ve been wanting to write this for a long time.

***Warning: mild spoilers for Malleus’s PE Uniform personal story!***

Imagine this...

“Lilia-sama.”

Two bodyguards fell into line, saluting simultaneously to their vice dorm leader.

“We just finished combing through the prime gargoyle locations around campus,” Silver reported. “Unfortunately, there was no sight of Malleus-sama to be found. The accounts of the various students we interviewed also corroborate that the Young Master has not recently been spotted in the area.”

“I see. Thank you, Silver.” Lilia sighed, cupping his cheek in one hand. “Hm, this is a bit odd. Wherever could he have wandered off to this time?”

At that moment, a ping! sounded off. Lilia fished his phone out of his pocket and, with one glance at the screen, his expression softened.

“You don’t suppose some dastardly villain has… kidnapped the Young Master and is holding him for ransom, do you?!” Sebek’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull at the thought. “If that is the case… THEN WE HAVE FAILED AS MALLEUS-SAMA’S KNIGHTS!!”

“Now, now--let’s not jump to conclusions. Even if that were true, I’m certain that Malleus would be able to easily fend off assailants on his own. Perhaps he has simply lost his way, or headed off campus to run an errand.”

“... Without warning us in advance?”

“I would have happily accompanied the Young Master wherever he went--EVEN TO THE ENDS OF TWISTED WONDERLAND ITSELF!!”

“Kufufu. Malleus is still young at heart. Let us allow him this moment of independence, just this once. He will find his way home eventually.”

“Welcome home, my masters!!”

Malleus skidded to a stop in the doorway—for beyond it laid unknown territory. The interior sported cream walls, with fairy lights, streamers, and paper flowers strung up. A number of tables and chairs, populated with people, were set against flowing white curtains.

Young ladies flitted about, balancing trays of food and drinks, cameras, and microphones. Each wore the same outfit, consisting of a frilly headdress, an apron, and a black dress with lace trim and ribbons.

And now, one of those uniformed girls extended a hand to him and a warm, welcoming smile.

Malleus frowned and turned to the orange haired young man beside him. “... Diamond. What is this strange establishment you’ve brought me to?”

“Mm? It’s a maid café,” Cater chirped, glancing up from his phone. “You said you’ve never been before, right?”

“Well, yes… However, when you invited me to join you for an outing, I did not expect this to be our destination.”

“It’ll be fine~ We’re already here, so let’s get seated!” Cater insisted cheerily, ushering the fae through the door. 

“Right this way, my masters!” The greeter giggled and led the way, eventually stopping at a vacant table set for two. As the duo slipped into their seats, she handed them menus and moistened towels. “We have a wide selection of special services and delicious dishes for your enjoyment!”

Malleus hesitantly flipped open the (very pink) menu and ran his eyes down the page of available items. Along with the expected offerings of desserts, savory foods, and beverages were odd listings: massage, ear cleaning, karaoke, game, arts and crafts, picture, spoon feeding, live song and dance...

He stared quizzically at Cater, who seemed to be taking everything in stride.

“I’ll take a plate of omurice! How about you, Malleus-kun?”

He stared back at his menu, trying to make rhyme or reason of the unique names. What in the Great Seven was a Pyon ❤ Pyon Sunshine Bar…? Or a Lucky☆Happy☆Cookie? Malleus’s brows furrowed in both concentration and confusion.

“I… I shall have the local specialty, whatever that may be,” the fae prince declared at last.

“Excellent choices! And would you like a bunny, or a kitty?”

“You hand out animals at this eating establishment? Is that not a health code violation?”

“Aaah, Malleus-kun, she doesn’t mean real rabbits and cats. Look--you’ll see when she brings them, okay?” Cater laughed awkwardly. Then, turning to the waitress, he held up his index finger. “One of each, little lady~”

“Of course!” She scribbled down a few words on her heart shaped notepad before prancing off.

“... Diamond. Are you certain this is the fabled maid café of which you spoke of?” Malleus asked, folding his arms. “I find it difficult to believe that every patron here is descended from a high class lineage. Furthermore, the servers are wearing attire entirely unlike that of a traditional household servant.”

Cater blinked once, twice—then chuckled.

“Maid cafés are like normal cafés. Anyone can go to them to play pretend and chill for a while! The difference is that the waitresses are dressed cutely and offer fun services. Singing, dancing, playing games—that kinda thing!”

“I do not understand.” Malleus swept a hand at their surroundings. “The purpose of this establishment is merely for… amusement?”

“Yup! People get tired of the daily grind sometimes, so they go to places like this to see cute stuff and just take a load off.”

“I… I see.” Malleus tucked his thumb and forefinger under his chin. “We do not have anything like your maid cafes in the Valley of Thorns.”

“You don’t? What sort of things do you do back home for fun, then?”

“I was not allowed to venture far from the palace grounds. Most of my time was spent indoors, studying spells or honing my magical abilities.”

Cater inclined his head. “Oooh, right! Because you’re a prince and all, you weren’t able to do much—but hey! Things are different now! You’ve got Cay-kun to show you a good time!”

“Ah, yes. A ‘good time’...” Malleus attempted at a smile, which came out more wary than he had intended.

“Thank you for waiting!” a girlish voice chirped—their waitress had returned, wearing a tray of food in one hand and two headbands in the other. “Here is your omurice and Nyan ✨ Nyan ✨ Kitty-chan Parfait, plus one pair of kitty ears and one pair of bunny ears!”

She handed Cater his dish—a bed of ketchup flavored fried rice, sealed by a wobbling omelet and garnished with a sprig of parsley.

“Mm! Smells delicious. Thanks a bunch~” Cater grinned, winking at his server.

The maid giggled and placed Malleus’s dessert before him, along with the headbands.

“Would you like me to draw or write something special for you on your meal, master?” she asked, gesturing to Cater’s omurice.

“Sure thing! Could you write ‘Mallekei’? Oh, and a couple of hearts would be cute, too!”

“As you wish!”

As the maid set to work, Malleus marveled at the sight of his parfait.

Colorful scoops of ice-cream, granola, and sliced fruits were layered inside of a tall glass cup. A generous crown of whipped cream and a drizzle of strawberry sauce topped it off. Sticking out from the whipped cream were two wafer triangles and dots of chocolate candies, forming a cat-like face.

How adorable.

… But not adorable enough to be spared.

“Thank you for the food.” The fae raised his spoon to demolish the poor parfait kitten—

“Stop, stop, Malleus-kun!!” Cater cried, frantically waving his arms. “N-Not yet!!”

Malleus lowered his spoon with a frown. “Food is meant to be consumed, Diamond. Is there an issue you have with my table etiquette?”

“Well—no, but…” Cater played with a lock of his orange hair and sighed. “There’s certain rituals we need to do first!”

“Rituals? Oh, my apologies. I was not aware. Please proceed with your regularly scheduled… rituals.”

“Ahaha, you’re a quick learner! First thing’s first, let’s put on our headbands!” Cater swept up the cat ears and passed them over. “Here, to match your parfait! I’ll take the rabbit.”

Malleus gingerly nestled the cat ears on his head, copying Cater’s movements. It was a bit tricky maneuvering around his horns, but somehow, he managed.

“Oh!! Those ears suit you so well!” the waitress said, glancing up from decorating the omurice. Carefully placed splotches of ketchup spelled out ‘Mallekei’, hearts and little sparkles littering the space around the boys’ combined names.

“... Do they?” Malleus doubted it.

“They do!!” Cater reassured him with a laugh. “Ne, ne, miss! Can you take our picture so my friend here can have a souvenir to take home with him?” 

“Certainly!” She replaced the bottle of ketchup and hurried off, returning shortly after with a polaroid camera. “Are you ready, my masters?”

“Ready, Malleus-kun?”

“Hmph. Of course. I will have you know that my posing abilities have improved considerably since our last encounter. Do not underestimate me.”

“Oh, that’s great! You’ve been practicing! Then… on the count of three, we nyah, okay?”

“... What is ‘nyah’?” Malleus inquired, his confidence suddenly waning.

“Eh?” A blip of surprise crossed Cater’s face. “Like, y’know… nyah!”

The influencer curled both of his hands into balls and made a pawing motion at his friend. “Now you try!”

“Like this?” Malleus mimicked him. He was more stiff—definitely not as practiced—but the general motion was still recognizable.

“Very good, master!!” the waitress gushed, raising the polaroid up. “On three?”

“1, 2, 3… Nyah!”

A flash went off, sending stars into Malleus’s vision. As he rubbed the daze out of his eyes, Cater’s voice called out to him.

“Are you okay there?”

“I am well. There is no need for your concern,” the fae insisted. “This ritual… it is more confounding that I took it to be.”

“Eeeh? It’s not meant to be hard or anything. Just relax, relax!” Cater paused before adding, “It’s part of the ritual’s requirements! You need to be nice and loose for the last step!”

“What is this last step?”

“We need to cast a magic spell to make your food taste extra tasty!” the waitress declared cheerily.

“Hoh?” A smirk found its way onto Malleus’s face. “That can easily be arranged. Allow me to do the honors.”

He put his hand before his parfait, an eerie green glow emulating from his palm. The sinister light engulfed his dish and Cater’s, sending them floating midair. Radioactive ice-cream and omurice hovered above their heads, causing both Cater and their maid to recoil in shock.

Other customers stared at the spectacle from their own tables. One man’s jaw dropped, the forkful of spaghetti bolognese in his mouth clattering onto the floor.

“You, who provides sustenance to the masses, become that which is delici—“

“H-Hold on a sec, Malleus-kun!!” Cater practically leapt over the table to seize his friend’s glowing hand. “Not that kind of spell!!”

Eyes wide with surprise, Malleus allowed his magic to settle down. The parfait and omurice gently floated back onto their table, and the maid sighed with relief.

“Is there a different spell needed for this occasion? I assure you that I am well-versed in practical magic—you need only speak its name, and I can conjure the proper…”

“No, no! It’s—“ Cater casted a look at their server and nervously chuckled. “Ne, Maid-chan~ Think you can give us a demonstration of the right spell?”

“Yes, master!” the girl, ever professional, flashed a perky grin. “Please watch carefully!!”

The maid set down her polaroid on the table. She then arched her fingers into C-like shapes, thumb extended straight. Pushing her hands together, she formed a heart and aimed it in the direction of the boy’s dishes.

“Moe moe kyuuuuuun!”

“What an odd spell. In all my years, I have never heard of such an enchantment…”

“Well, there’s a first for everything, right?” Cater flicked one of his floppy rabbit ears. “Plus, it should be no problem for the great Malleus-sama to pull off this spell, right?”

“This is child’s play,” Malleus’s laugh was like the earth itself rumbling. His lips quirked into a small smile. “You will join me in performing this sacred ritual, will you not, Diamond?”

“Of course~”

“Very well.”

They made hearts and thrust them upon their meals. And together, they uttered those three magic words.

“Moe moe kyuuuuun!!”

“Welcome back, Malleus,” Lilia greeted. The vice dorm leader nonchalantly hung from the ceiling, his raven and magenta bangs suspended midair. “Did you have fun on your outing?”

“Lilia. You knew?” Malleus slowly shut the door behind him, chasing away the cool air of the night. He spoke softly, knowing that sounds carried in the dusty hallways of Diasomnia and could disturb its residents.

“The wonders of modern technology,” Lilia trilled, expertly landing beside his young master. He brandished his phone in a gloved hand, a text message displayed on the screen.

hey hey lilia-chan! gonna steal malmal-kun for the day~ he’ll be back later, but do me a solid and keep it a secret from s&s til then, ‘kay? thnx!! (✿˶˘ ³˘)~♡

“It looks as though I have been exposed.”

“There is no shame in making new friends. In fact, I’m proud of you for expanding your horizons.” Lilia beamed. “Though what a shame it is that I was not present to grab a few pictures. Hopefully Cater fulfilled that task for me.”

The ancient fae tilted forward in his toes and peered up at his prince. “Soooo? Where did you sneak off to?”

“Fufu. Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“My. Is that any way to treat the man that kept Silver and Sebek from hunting you down?” Lilia teased, wagging a finger.

“Such loyalty,” Malleus smirked, hands on his hips, “deserves to be rewarded.”

He produced a polaroid photograph from his breast pocket and presented it with a flourish. The image, forever captured in time, was that of Malleus and Cater—the former with cat ears, the latter with bunny ears—with hands balled to resemble paws. Cater cheekily winked, while Malleus looked slightly bewildered.

The edges of the polaroid were dotted with stickers—smiley faces, flowers, and hearts. Marker had been used to scrawl on whiskers and blushes over both boys’ cheeks.

Overall, cutesy—overwhelming so.

But the Malleus and Cater in the picture were happy.

Their eyes shining like jewels.

Nyah-ing their hearts out.

Here is the first one

Second :D

And last..he's looking at you 👀💦

ALRIGHT you know WHAT—

There’s…a lot going on here. So much so, that I have decided to create

CONTEXT

for these three images that is

COMPLETELY FAKE

because I think it’ll be a fun writing exercise. kind of a cringe move on my part, but consider: i have fun making up ridiculous lies about characters who don’t exist in real life.

(which is how I’m treating these, by the way. yes, they are pictures of kaneko nobuaki, but for my purposes, they are NOT actually him. they are distinct fictional characters who are not real.)

so if you’re feeling adventurous skip below the cut and watch me break it down:

Image 1: Accidental “Date” Makes Cousin’s Wedding Less Terrible Than Originally Expected

The year is 1999. Your cousin (who you are not particularly close to) is getting married…on a cruise ship. Your mother insists you attend. You insist upon spending 90% of your time sipping margaritas on the deck and flipping through the latest issue of Marie Claire while trying desperately not to think about the fact that you are surrounded by nothing but open ocean.

One of the (very drunk) bridesmaids tries to toss you a beach ball because you have been, and I quote: like, a total bummer this whole time. She misses. It hits the person next to you in the face. Great. Awesome. You think: well now who’s being, like, a total bummer?

Luckily the person who got hit in the face laughs the entire thing off. He says your friends seem…’lively.’ You say that’s pretty rich coming from a guy who looks like a rejected member of ‘The Clash.’ He insists that he left them, not the other way around.

You slip into conversation. You tell him that you’re here for a wedding. He offers his condolences. You accept them. He says he actually likes weddings—something about two people making a life-changing commitment speaks to him on a soul-level. That and the open bar, of course.

You suggest he crash the wedding. He says he’s not sure if he can make it—there’s a shuffleboard tournament that evening that he would just hate to miss, plus the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest is waiting on his bedside table just begging to be opened. You say that’s perfectly understandable, but, if he suddenly finds himself caught up on the latest All My Children gossip, he can meet you back here at four.

Surprise, surprise: he shows up. He’s wearing the same shirt he was before, but buttoned up this time—and with one of the most hideous neckties you’ve ever seen, which he apparently borrowed from the kind old man next door. Instead of complimenting his attire (because it is truly un-compliment-able), you take the opportunity to mention that this is a Titanic-themed wedding. He says that having a Titanic-themed wedding on a cruise ship is “kind of fucked up” and you solemnly agree.

Everyone is very surprised and pleased to see that you’ve brought a date—even the bride, who tells you that you’re “just like Jack and Rose.” You agree, much to her delight…until you say that, if the ship goes down, you also won’t share the door and let him freeze to death in the icy water. He insists he’d be the guy who jumps off the ship and hits his leg on the propellor—that’s his favorite part of the whole movie, and it’d be an honor to re-enact the scene.

The wedding is…a wedding. Vows, toasts, pictures—and you’re sipping champagne through the entire thing. The two of you spend the evening getting completely wasted and telling everyone a different story about just who your ‘mystery date’ is. Highlights include: the captain’s unruly son whose been tasked with following in his father’s sea-faring footsteps; professional cave-diver who discovered a new species of slug and is spending his reward money on a nice vacation; head of marketing who gives all those clever names to the nail polishes at OPI; the guy who folds everyone’s towels into animal shapes.

You end up where you started: on neighboring lounge chairs, with a margarita, and talking to this stranger who has recently crossed into “acquaintance” territory. You chat about how “My Heart Will Go On” is actually a good song, and he promises not to tell anyone that you said that. He also says that this is the best Titanic-themed cruise ship wedding he’s ever been to, and he can’t wait until somebody decides to do Jaws.

Eventually, you both stagger back to your rooms with promises of seeing each other at breakfast. Unfortunately, you have the worst hangover of your life the next morning and even the thought of ‘breakfast’ makes you want to roll over and die, so you don’t manage to stumble out of bed until it’s time to disembark.

You see him at port, and you each offer each other a little wave before going your separate ways. Six weeks later, you get a Polaroid of the two of you together, sitting at the bar and laughing at something that must have been very, very hilarious.

You don’t remember most of what happened that night, but you remember it was not as terrible as it could have been.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 2: Extremely Weird Guy On The Street Has You Questioning Your Sanity

It’s 6:00 in the morning—a truly terrible time to be awake, but a necessary evil. Your flight leaves at 10, and since it’s an international thing, you want to make sure you get there in plenty of time to get to your gate (and maybe sample all the fancy perfumes you can’t afford at one of those high-end stores that are always in airports.)

The streets are mostly empty, save for a few random pedestrians and a handful of passed-out salarymen snoozing on the curb. The sky a rainy gray-blue as the sun tries to rise behind the springtime cloud cover—it’s no doubt going to be another dismal day, as is common during this time of year. Hopefully there’s not too much turbulence on your flight…

You stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little walking man signal to show up on the light across the way. You’re soon joined by another person—a man in a soft-looking jacket who supplies you with a small “good morning” bob of his head. You respond in kind, throwing in a small smile for good measure. It’s nice that he too understands that it’s entirely too early to be having any kind of conversation, even if it is just a simple verbal greeting between strangers on a street corner.

The light changes, and you both begin your trek across the street. Your fellow walker is faster than you—or, more likely, has longer legs and, ergo, a longer stride than your own—and is nearly halfway across by the time you get your wheeled suitcase over the curb. He seems decent enough. You hope he’s going somewhere nice.

It’s then that you make the mistake of looking up. It would have been much better if you had just continued watching the white painted lines on the road and thinking about how it reminds you of piano keys—and how you hated the six months of piano lessons your parents forced you to take in the first grade.

But no. You noticed someone walking towards you, and you just had to look up.

The first thing you notice is a rainbow tie-dye shirt. The second thing you notice is that the rainbow tie-dye shirt is on a very cheerful looking gentleman, who seemed to be bobbing his head in time with a song only he could hear.

The third thing you notice—and this one’s the real kicker—is the large blue-and-green reptile sitting on his shoulder. It’s bulging eyes are hooded in pleasure as it’s red-pink tongue darts out to eat the green something—maybe a grape or a small piece of melon?—from the rainbow tie-dye man’s hand. It is nothing short of a spectacle, honestly, and you feel a piece of your sanity evaporate.

The rainbow tie-dye man continues on, uncaring of your confused stare at his strange pet. You even turn around to make sure that you weren’t somehow hallucinating, and sure enough, there is definitely some kind of creature draped over this stranger’s shoulder. It’s tail even sways in time with the man’s steps, which is both cute and confusing.

Because it would not do to stand in the middle of the street all day, considering the existence of rainbow tie-dye man and his exotic pet, you do the only thing you can do: turn back around and continue on your journey. You need a coffee. Maybe with an extra shot of espresso, after witnessing whatever the hell that was. Something to set you right again.

“Was that…?”

The other man—the soft-coat long-stride one—is speaking low enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough for you to hear as you make your way towards the sidewalk. His expression reads ‘concerned, but trying not to show it’ which you suppose is the polite and mature way of handling the situation.

“…an iguana? Yeah,” you answer him, “I saw it too.”

The man’s brow furrows. His mouth puckers into a small frown as he considers…well, something.

“…Okay, then,” he concludes, shrugging his shoulders, “Hell of a way to start the day.”

“Yeah.”

And you both continue on your way. He turns left at the next intersection, you turn right—but even though your paths may now be different, you will forever share an unbreakable bond over the fantastical sight you’ve witnessed today.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 3: Near Death Experience At Open Mic Night

You are not a poet.

Well, not professionally, anyways. You’ve been known to dabble in the written word, often scribbling little snippets of rhyme in a notebook over your lunch break or tapping a verse or two into the notes app on your phone. It a kind of outlet, you suppose—a way to keep the creative energy that bubbles inside of you from boiling over.

It’s also worth mentioning that you are not a confident public speaker. Not since that unfortunate incident in the third grade where you forgot the single line you had in the school play and ran off stage, tears streaming down your face and—actually, no, you’re not going to think about that right now. Or ever again, hopefully.

So when your (tipsy) coworkers decide that it’s a good idea to push you onto the stage at the local dive bar’s open mic night—while shouting at you to “read the one about the night-blooming jasmine”—you freeze up. There are at least seven strangers staring at you, expectation rising with every passing second of your inaction. It’s nerve-wracking in the way that the third-grade incident was not, and you gulp against the nervousness that rises in your throat.

Shaking hands scroll frantically through your phone, looking for the requested poem—and after a few agonizing moments, you manage to find it. Your voice cracks rather embarrassingly as you begin to read, trying your damndest to get the words out right so you can slink back to the bar and drown the rest of the night in Chardonnay.

Everything is going well—or, at least, as well as can be expected—until you notice that the room is suddenly feeling very hot. That’s the last coherent thought you have before the room goes dark and everything falls silent.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at the ceiling. A man who you do not know is leaning over you, and his mouth is moving—oh, he’s probably trying to say something to you, but it’s very difficult to tell what he’s saying over the throbbing pain in the back of your head.

You ask him if you’re dead. It’s a possibility after all, that you’ve somehow died and landed yourself in some kind of special public-speaking hell. That’s what this feels like, anyways.

The man says no, you are not dead. You say ‘dammit’ in response. He tries to hold back laughter, offering to help you up by extending his hand. You take it and—ouch, ugh, ew, going from laying to standing is not a fun experience.

You thank him (albeit awkwardly) for helping you up, and he insists that ‘it’s cool.’ Passing out in front of an audience is not even remotely cool, but you nod and thank him again, anyways.

Before you’re able to converse with the helpful stranger any further, your coworkers have come to collect you. You are whisked away by someone from accounting, who offers to escort you home—an offer you gladly accept, very excited to leave the site of your failure behind you.

Safe to say, you never go back to that particular bar again.

Outside chapter 23: Final Showdown (part 1)

Just as a warning everyone this chapter, and the next one, both have quite a bit of violence. Bones will break. people(and Puppets) will bleed, and somebody may or may not be dead by the end of this. So don't say I didn't warn y'all.

Also chapter 24 should be up next week, cause I wrote out both parts of this as one whole thing before splitting it. It just needs to be edited now, but that can be done tomorrow after work. Also we’re pretty much at the end now. But more on that later, for now enjoy the Final Showdown.

Stacy stayed limp, even as she was tied up by her wrists. Her eyes remained closed, as Mortimer grabbed her face and turned it this way and that to check for consciousness. As she suspected, he refused to even try anything until he knew she was awake to experience it. Even after she'd been feigning sleep for hours.

'You freaks are all the same...' She thought as she swung gently against the wall, listening as Mortimer stalked around the room, muttering under his breath. 'Oh wow, I think he's practicing his villain speech. Loser.'

Her inner monologue of mocking Mortimer did little to keep her fear down. It was only old habits from her childhood that helped her facade stay up in the face of Mortimer suddenly slamming something. The sounds of pages being flipped, and more muttering, this time about Riley. Or maybe about Owen, it was difficult to tell.

Listening to him walk back and forth, muttering and turning pages in a book, Stacy found herself in a tense boredom. It wasn't the first time, and wouldn't be the last, but it made it difficult to keep up her facade. Briefly, quietly, she wished something would happen to get this show on the road.

Unknown to her, however, the door to the Sound Stage had slowly been pushed open, two humans peering around the edge. "Looks pretty safe." Will muttered as he eased the door open wider. "Remember, just grab and go."

"Right." Scout whispered back as she crept into the room. It seemed empty enough, though there were runes and magic symbols scribbled all over the walls. And, hanging in front of one that seemed to be drawn in blood, was her Puppet body. Biting the back the cry of her Host's name, she made her way over to her.

Trembling hands reached up to try and fight the knots around the fabric wrists, but stopped at the sound of heavy footsteps behind her. Turning, she saw the slow, lumbering approach of a Sock Puppet, one that was quickly speeding up.

"Shit!" She hissed out as she dodged around it, noticing Will coming inside and drawing his gun. He didn't get a chance to use it when the sound of wood hitting wood came, and the Sock Puppet relaxed, stepping to one side to reveal Mortimer.

"I can't say this is much of a surprise to see." He started as he walked his Host forward. "I knew that you would make your way to me. Why don't you join me now for some tea?" He stepped aside and gestured to a small, round table set up for tea. He turned to go take his spot at the "head" of the table, and Will raised his gun to aim at his head. Scout grabbed his arm and forced it down, looking pointedly at the Sock Puppet. He stuck it in his pocket and they went over to the table, followed by the Sock.

They stood next to each other, across the table from Mortimer and very aware of the Sock behind them. Neither of them touched their cups, though Mortimer himself did take a long drink from his.

"So you've made it this far in, and all for little Scout." He started after finishing. "Tell me now, how were you planning on getting back out?"

Will held up his gun in response, and it was almost immediately taken by the Sock Puppet. He glared after it as it stared down the barrel, but didn't try and get it back.

"Ah well, a model attempt at the very least, but guns are not allowed. Far too messy, annoying, and loud." A poor rhyme, in Scout's opinion, but Mortimer did seem pretty distracted. She didn't miss the way his eyes kept darting to Stacy.

"Has she woken up yet?" She asked, blatantly turning her head to look. In the corner of her eye she saw him follow her gaze.

"Sadly, not quite yet. I feel there are conditions still not met. Perhaps you know why she remains still unconscious. I feel like I've missed something quite... obvious." His eyes roamed over her, and she avoided meeting them, suddenly scared he could see right through her.

"Well, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about." Will replied nonchalantly. "But if you give back that Puppet, I promise my friends and I will leave, quickly and quietly and with no more harm done."

"Somehow, I don't believe you." Mortimer took another sip of his tea, staring unblinking at the man. "How do I know that what you say is true? No, better to take care of this problem now, and put all of you down."

"Put us down?" Scout repeated quietly.

"Of course! Can't have defective hosts running around. You'll ruin all of our carefully laid plans, before we can take a final bow." He explained, drawing himself up and gesturing grandly. "No, it's better to deal with you now."

Grabbed from behind, Will almost gagged on the necrotic smell coming from the Sock Puppet Hosts. Scout seemed unaffected, probably used to it even now. He kicked back, catching the groin and yanking out of the one handed hold. Leaping over the table, he grabbed the pot of hot tea and flung it, catching both Mortimer and his Host in the face.

The howls of pain distracted the Socks, allowing Scout to escape and run over to Stacy, who by now was watching with wide eyes. Puling on the knots with trembling, clumsy fingers, she couldn't get them loose before being pulled away and thrown.

"Scout!" It was weird hearing her own voice from the outside, as she scrambled to get up. She pushed that thought from her mind, more worried about how Stacy had just blown their cover.

Luckily, Mortimer seemed too preoccupied with Will, who was throwing the tea set at him one piece at a time. He hadn't gotten him with anymore tea, but it certainly distracted him. Noting the Sock lumbering towards her, she dodged around it, grabbing the dropped axe as she went.

'No time to try those knots again! Aim properly, and don't fucking hit her or I'll never hear the end of it!' She ran straight for Stacy, chopping the rope with it as she went by. It was a little high, but she heard the soft thump of the Puppet hitting the floor as she led the Sock around.

Turning a tight corner, she intended to grab her swapped Host on a second pass, but almost stopped when she couldn't find her.

'Oh no!' Mortimer and Will were still fighting each other, and the Sock certainly hadn't grabbed her, so where was she? 'Fuck I am so dead!'

-----

Sammy sat next to the bag, surrounded by small, evil Puppets. Canon was in his lap while Bit was on his head, and the other two were sat next to him watching as their Hosts paced in the narrow hallway. They had some makeshift clubs, and Mason had rigged up a quick trap, but other than that they were pretty defenseless.

"We're gonna die." Bonzai muttered. "They're gonna come for us and all we have is three Hosts to defend us. Not even any vents to escape into."

"Quiet you!" Bit snapped. "They're so much bigger than Riley and Nick, and they took out Daisy!"

"They're not bigger than Rosco, however. To him, they would surely fail to come out better." Stitch said quietly. It was hard to tell what that one was thinking, in Sammy's opinion, but he thought she seemed rather sad about that.

"Ooh, Stitchy, bad rhyme. Do better next time." The red haired one told her sister mockingly. She got a glare in reply, but the yellow and orange Puppet said nothing more.

"Or just stop. They're gonna kill us all anyways, so why even bother." Bonzai piped up.

"Nobody's gonna kill you. Don't be so negative." Sammy told him, only to receive his own glare. "Look, once they get back we're all gonna leave and burn this place down, and we'll bring you guys with us. It'll be fine."

"Also we kinda don't have a choice in the matter anymore." Lisa added, pausing in her step and leaning against the pipe she'd found. "Pretty sure if you guys die, then so do we."

"Which is so, so creepy!" Mason muttered with a full body shudder. "Ugh..."

"Oh quit your whining. Scout's gonna love that we rescued her siblings!" Lisa said, and both Sammy and Mason just gave her blank looks.

"I don't think so. She's never even mentioned them." Mason pointed out. The blonde just shrugged, unending optimism still in her voice.

"Maybe she just didn't want Stacy to worry? You ever think about that?"

Sammy just rubbed his temples as the two devolved into arguing. "I really need a joint." He muttered. The Puppets stared at him in confusion, and Bonzai started counting his actual joints to make sure he had them all.

Anymore arguing or questions were stopped, however, by the sound of heavy, slow footsteps approaching. In the distance was a soft glow, slowly growing larger and brighter. And closer.

Lisa and Mason brought their weapons up, and Sammy stood and forced the Puppets behind him. He had a broken broom, while Mason had another pipe, but none of the weapons felt like they'd be enough as they saw the giant, mutilated dog Puppet.

"Oh." Lisa swallowed thickly, voice small and quiet. "That must be Rosco."

-----

Will had never fought anything like this before. Even the most violent and aggressive of haunted dolls had been just that, dolls. But Mortimer had a full grown, if severely malnourished, adult man attached to him which made it very difficult to get the upper hand on him. And he was all out of things to throw.

'Gotta get that gun back.' He kicked the Host and knocked him away, before turning towards where Scout was trying to deal with the Sock Puppet. She was definitely making use of the prosthetic, however clumsily. But, he could still see the gun held in it's free hand, even as it tried to grab her with it.

"Hey! I need that gun!" He called out, dodging another attempt at being grabbed. Whether Scout even heard him he couldn't tell, but a few seconds later the gun went whizzing by his face, hitting the far wall before he could even register it. Thankfully, it didn't go off, but he and Mortimer did take a second to stare before they went back to fighting.

"Thanks for the fucking warning!" He called out sarcastically, trying to find an opening. At least now he had a chance to get it, if Mortimer would let him.

"Fuck off!" Was Scout's reply as she repeatedly smashed her fist into the side of the Sock's Host. It seemed to be working, as it was starting to go down, or at least act disoriented, and it was giving Will ideas.

There weren't any chairs, and he was out of tea sets, but there had to be something else he could use for a weapon. Some half-rotted cardboard set pieces, the table, but nothing really useful. So he punched Mortimer in the face, hearing a snap as he broke the Puppet's nose.

A howl of pain, as a thick, red sap leaked out. "You horrible, defective Host!" He snarled out, nose snapped and bent.

"Ha! Oh shit..." He turned and ran as Mortimer chased him down. "Shit! I fucked up!"

Scout watched this with the dying Sock Puppet. "Hell yeah you did." She punched it again as it tried to stand back up, and it sank to the floor. She then grabbed the axe and yanked it out of the wall. She went to go help Will, but stopped when she saw more Sock Puppets coming out of the doors.

"Oh fuck me..." She whispered, as half the group went straight for her.

-----

Lisa was screaming. She was aware she was screaming, but could not stop screaming even as she repeatedly whacked Rosco on the head with her pipe. She had no clue what she was screaming, but Mason would tell her later that it was a mash of swears in both English and French.

Mason, on the other hand, was struggling against two out of three Puppets by himself. Yes, three, as Riley had managed to grab the bag and reattach Daisy's head, and also put her eyeballs back. Luckily she was still without a real Host, so it was fairly easy to kick her away when she got too close, but it was annoying and a distraction. And Riley only had one arm, oddly enough, though it didn't seem to stop her from putting her all into her attacks, with him barely able to hold her back at times.

Nick hung back and gave mockingly encouraging words to the other two, but didn't do a lot to help otherwise. He only joined the fight when Sammy managed to sneak up behind him and stab his Host with the broken end of his broom.

"You ass!" Was the artist's response, already feeling his Host begin to bleed out. He stumbled after the stoner, who managed to keep just out of reach while smacking his head, the sound of wood against wood echoing in the small space.

"Diediedie why won't you die?!" He sang out as he drummed against the Puppet's head, disorienting him enough he couldn't fight back, even after Daisy switched her attention to Sammy. Clawing her way up his body, he had to quickly start smacking her until she finally let go and dropped off. He then stomped on her until Nick managed to come to and grab him, pulling him by the back of his shirt and choking him.

Mason saw this and brought his pipe down hard on the arm holding Nick, feeling more than hearing the bones snap under the metal. He howled in pain, letting go of Sammy as he flopped down, other hand flailing trying to catch himself.

Mason grabbed Sammy and started pulling him back towards the door, taking Riley out with a well-timed head-shot as they passed. Which, conveniently, distracted Rosco and gave Lisa an opening to escape.

As she joined them in their attempt at fleeing, pausing only to grab up their Hand Puppets, Sammy and Mason kept their weapons up. The Handeemen were starting to recover, and they had inadvertently trapped themselves.

Backs to the Sound Stage, where Will and Stacy were possibly fighting Mortimer, and in front of them were three royally pissed off Puppets and a dog-monster. Lisa wasn't sure if they should push forward, or try and fall back, but looking at what was ahead of them made her blood rush from fear.

Survival was not looking good.

My greatest apprehensions for the new My Little Pony movie & generation.

Today MLP Generation 5 has been made available on Netflix, and on Saturday I’ll be seeing it with my friends in the Milwaukee Bronies. I’ve had an uneasy feeling about it, and finally putting much of that into words was helpful. It was certainly interesting, and I’d like to share it with other people. I’ve done so with only a few, but I want to put this out there before anyone thinks my opinion is contaminated by either seeing the movie, or something getting spoiled. Tomorrow I may be relieved, let down, or just impressed that I managed to predict so much. Something I’ve definitely kept in mind is that with Generation 4’s premieres, finales, and own movie, the trailers were always cut unimpressively (IMHO). So I tended to be pleasantly surprised with pretty much everything I watch from G4, when I even bothered looking at the trailers. So I’ll be quite happy to be proven wrong this Saturday. Now…

They certainly didn’t intend to be flipping off everything Gen 4 established. No creator ever tries that when they’re brought into a franchise in the payroll of the IP owners. But for their society to regress to this point of segregation? The only thought process I can think of for this bizarre departure are A) The new show staff threw their hands up on matching anything with G4... or B) they came up with a totally fresh setting and timeline, and then some exec or analyst at Hasbro said “Heck no, you are GOING to connect this with our previous money-printing machine. Got it?” And that level of mandated storytelling doesn’t fill me with confidence.

I’ve heard at least one comparison to the Sequel Trilogy, which I expected. True, there’s some notable superficial similarities. It’s decades(?) later, the original heroes are spoken of as myths, for various reasons the world is in trouble, and our protagonist is a disciple-slash-fangirl of what the previous heroes fought for. But this is way more drastic and bizarre of a development.

The conflict in the Sequel Trilogy for the galaxy at large is that the Empire has returned, but rebranded. A new set of new jerks wanted power, teamed up with some of the old jerks, got a bunch of big guns, and held the galaxy hostage. That’s something that just happens in repeated strokes of history. It’s the re-drawing of a bunch of borders. The only moral failing there is being lax with fascists.

Having the Sequel Trilogy retread a plot also isn’t as weird as the My Little Pony franchise. The Force Awakens was made decades after the OT concluded, and the previous Prequel Trilogy took a really different direction and wasn’t received well. Then the franchise got completely new owners. So going back to its roots to start things out was a logical move. It’s only been THREE YEARS between these different shows of MLP, so the repetition doesn’t have much charm. Although repetition may not be the right word, since the setup for this show’s racial dilemma is way more extreme.

Equestria for some reason has gone through a jaw-dropping morale decay. Not only have they embraced division they were fighting against in seasons 8 & 9, they’ve regressed to the level of segregation before Equestria was FOUNDED. The Star Wars equivalent of that would be not only everyone fighting the First Order, they also suddenly don’t allow Wookies and other aliens to drink from the water fountains. Like, how the heck did that turn into a problem?

If the only progress undone from Gen 4 were the relationships with the non-ponies introduced later, that would actually make more sense. Social equality has reactionary backlash, which often occurs immediately after landmark victories. Ponies were the ones that held the most power on the world stage (some kinds more than others in Equestria).

But the WAY bigger issue isn’t internal logic and retcons. I learned long ago to set aside any expectation of a reward or pandering for my years-long commitment to a toy franchise. It’s the potential mishandling of the topic of racism, and I worry we’ve already on shaky ground. The morale of “segregation is bad” feels like bottom of the barrel, kind of copout way of tackling racism. At least, it does for settings that are extremely modern like Generation 5 clearly is. Segregation of people by ethnicity, by rule of law, has fully shifted to obsolesce in the cultural landscape of first world countries. Not even the most deranged lunatics in our government like Boebert or Greene advocate for it (not yet anyway). Stories about segregation can still be done really well of course, but it can’t just be about wiping it off the lawbooks and solving everything. It needs look at why people do this in the first place, who fights for it as the status quo, and what social structures and habits keep the thing in place despite the efforts of good people.

Of course, we still HAVE segregation in society. Not legally, but de facto thanks to economic status and civic planning. And not just physical separation, but grotesque imbalances of power and means. Look at job opportunities, home ownership, insurance evaluations, scrutiny by police, investment in local schools, etc. In G4 it was pretty clear that WAY more unicorns got to live in the lap of luxury or centers of commerce and education. Earth ponies were more spread out, rural, and based on an agrarian existence to feed the country. It’s not that G4 did much with it, but that kind of setup is way closer to modern day inequality, and would be a more fertile bed for those kind of stories. Admittedly, the Pegasi city in the trailer looked absolutely LOADED, so maybe we do have that element in store.

What the trailers and press releases are saying feels weak even as just a segregation story. The ponies separating makes segregation look like a bunch of people moving out like feuding roommates… instead of being put in place by a group of people with WAY more power and money than everyone else. Segregation is portrayed as a mutual agreement, not exploitation. My worry is that they’re going to go to Pocahontas routes, and make the root of racism a select few rich figureheads spreading lies. And undoubtedly, rich people in the private and public sector DO profit off of ignorance and violence, and divert attention from real problems. But when white people in America were treating everyone as subhuman, it wasn’t FEAR that was driving it (at least, not exclusively). For one, it was profit and sheer convenience. Manual labor and the least desirable tasks could be foisted on to ‘lesser’ peoples, and they wouldn’t even require a humane wage. Even if there hadn’t been those empirical benefits, discrimination also brought the sadistic sense of self-importance that comes from standing on someone else’s neck. The imaginary structures of racism let people feel comfortable about their place in the universe.

I wouldn’t call Zecora’s introductory episode all that nuanced, but it was definitely more accurate to real life than the (hopefully hypothetical) scenario I described above. In Bridle Gossip, it’s extremely apparent that the Pony majority of Ponyville are the ones acting like tools, and singling out Zecora for being different. They are the ones obligated to apologize to HER. (Even though it’s of course awkward that they wrote Zecora as a rhyming witch doctor, when she’s meant to represent an African person. It might not be so bad if she wasn’t the ONLY Zebra, and the only creature coded that way.)

Companies and studios will gladly tell their audiences to sympathize with victimized individuals and populations of oppression, and hate the individual acts done upon them. But then they’ll get cagey about making some members of the audience feel any kind of guilt, from distantly benefitting from that system; or maybe even subtlety being part of one. It’s not good for the bottom line to name a civilian population for taking any racist, oppressive or outright murderous actions. No, it’s a single evil dictator (or CEO, or general) and their gaggle of cronies, who just needs to be overthrown. We see this toothless crud play out over and over because corporate entities are either A) that naive, or B) scared of some losers with megaphones losing their minds over the suggestion of self-examination. Some people are SO fragile at the idea of self-examination, or guilt. Because it goes back to having an identity, an innocent and sympathetic self-image.

Original Versions of Songs You Didn’t Know were Covers

Originally published for Geeks and Beats, August 2017.

https://www.geeksandbeats.com/2017/08/songs-didnt-know-covers/

I love a well-done cover song, and I especially love a well-done cover that deviates from the original. There’s something endlessly fascinating about how two different people can arrange such dramatically different interpretations of the same source material. What makes this especially fun is when you discover that a song you’ve been enjoying for years is itself a reinterpretation. Sometimes it even goes a step further, and a song that you knew as a cover turns out to be a cover of a cover. Researching this list became a much more involved “rabbit hole” than I ever anticipated, and I am delighted to share my findings with you. I’m confident that, like me, you’ll have more than a few “whoa, I didn’t know that!” moments. 

Bruce Springsteen – Blinded by the Light

When a WatchMojo video got me digging into this awhile back, this was the one that surprised me most. This is one of those songs that I feel like I’ve been aware of for as long as I’ve cared about music. So it was a bit of a shock to discover in my 40s that, not only is it a cover, but it was originally by The Boss. There are differences in the arrangement and the lyrics, but the Manfred Mann version is generally considered the definitive rendition. 

Tina Turner – Don’t Turn Around

While “Blinded by the Light” was the big surprise on my first dive into this topic, this next one blew me away even moreso. Ace of Base’s third most successful single was originally a Tina Turner song, the B-side of her 1986 single “Typical Male”. Bonnie Tyler, whose repertoire of covers is expansive and impressive, also did her own interpretation on 1988’s Hide Your Heart. 

I’ve Got My Mind Set On You – James Ray 

Time for a little history about “Weird Al” Yankovic. In 1988, Al released his album Even Worse. The title had two meanings. First of all, the lead single was “Fat”, a parody of Michael Jackson’s “Bad”, and the album cover was also a direct parody of Jackson’s Bad cover. In other words, since Jackson was declaring himself to be “Bad”, Al decided he was “Even Worse”. Second, all of the other parodies were of covers that had recently been hit singles, by Tiffany, Billy Idol, Los Lobos, and George Harrison.

The last one was the one that surprised me. Harrison’s most solid 80s hit was actually a cover. I owned 45s of the originals of all the others, but I had never heard James Ray’s original of “I’ve Got My Mind Set On You” (which Al turned into “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long“). 

The Tide is High – The Paragons 

One of Blondie’s most distinctive qualities was, and still is, a blending of several sounds and moods. As such, this reggae ditty, which was their third #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100, didn’t raise many eyebrows. So, few at the time knew that it was a cover of a 1966 rocksteady song by The Paragons. Although, the fact that the gender-swap screwed up the rhyme scheme could have been a clue. 

Torn – Ednaswap 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OoEdfB7l18

This one’s a little weird. Shortly after Natalie Imbruglia had her breakthrough hit with “Torn” in 1997, there was a short-lived minor controversy. Apparently, some people were upset when they found out that Imbruglia didn’t write the song. It was a cover of a 1995 song by a relatively unknown alternative act called Ednaswap. Nobody claimed had that she wrote the song, however, and there was nothing new about singers having a cover be their first hit. So the “controversy” was quickly reduced to a footnote, whose most prominent documentation is a mention on Pop-Up Video.

 Adding to the weirdness, Ednaswap’s “original” wasn’t technically the first recording of the song. Two years before they got around to releasing it, a Danish translation,“Brændt” (“Burned”), was released by Lis Sørensen. 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Robert Hazard 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aLNwOxPsjg

I almost didn’t include this one because, quite frankly, the original is awful. And, let’s be real, there’s something creepy about a guy breathily singing about what girls want. Thankfully, Hazard’s recording never got past the demo stage, so I’ll choose to consider Lauper’s version “technically a cover but sort of not really”. 

Downtown Train – Tom Waits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLtZKkCIVmI

If you asked a random sampling of people around you, there’s a good chance that many of them wouldn’t be able to name a Tom Waits song. On the other hand, it’s almost a guarantee that they’re familiar with at least one of his songs, but covered by someone else. The Eagles, Alison Krauss, Sarah McLachlan, Bruce Springsteen, and The Ramones are among the many big names to contribute to this. Heck, actress Scarlett Johansson recorded an entire album of Tom Waits songs (it was kind of awful, but I digress). 

One of the most successful Waits covers is Rod Stewart’s “Downtown Train”. The original was a standout track and minorly-successful single from Waits’ 1985 masterpiece Rain Dogs. Stewart’s 1991 cover starts off with a similarly restrained sound, but gradually swells into a much “bigger”, almost celebratory sound. 

Piece of My Heart – Erma Franklin 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0QAxIKf8G4

First off, the more well-known recording, with Janis Joplin on vocals, is properly credited to her band Big Brother and the Holding Company. Second, covers generally draw from that 1968 version, but the original was by Erma Franklin (Aretha Franklin’s older sister). Faith Hill’s 1994 atrocity seemed to be an attempt to destroy the song’s legacy, but Melissa Etheridge managed to restore it a little bit in 2005, even though it was a clumsy attempt at a comeback for Etheridge.

The First Cut is the Deepest – P.P. Arnold 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1-g5VG2pWg

This is one of my favourites. With many of the entries on this list, it’s fun to play the original for someone and watch their face as they slowly realize what they’re hearing. P.P. Arnold’s original recording of “The First Cut is the Deepest” (written by Cat Stevens) also happens to be a fantastic song in its own right. 

In 1977, Rod Stewart (him again?) released what most would consider the definitive version, and in 2003 Sheryl Crow covered it as one of two new songs recorded for her best-of collection. 

Nothing Compares 2 U – The Family 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZlzN0Gtpp8

In the 80s, there were a lot of Prince side projects and spin-offs. Morris Day and The Time may be the most memorable, with their mega-hit “Jungle Love“. Wendy & Lisa, Vanity 6, and Apollonia 5 also enjoyed a little time in the spotlight. One of the lesser-known projects, however, was The Family. The Family was often tasked with bringing life to songs that Prince wrote but wasn’t interested in doing himself. So even if you knew that Prince wrote Sinéad O’Connor’s 1990 breakthrough hit “Nothing Compares 2 U“, you might not have known that The Family had recorded it 5 years prior. 

Prince would eventually record a live version as a duet with Rosie Gaines, which was included on the various iterations of his 1993 compilation The Hits. Also included on this compilation were Prince’s originals of “I Feel 4 U” (covered by Chaka Khan in 1984), and “When U Were Mine” (covered by Cyndi Lauper in 1983). 

Killing Me Softly – Lori Lieberman 

In 1996, the Fugees released their breakthrough mega-hit, “Killing Me Softly“. Not everyone knew it was a cover of a 1973 Roberta Flack song, but many did. Even fewer knew, however, that Flack’s rendition was itself a cover. The original, by Lori Lieberman in 1972, was a soft acoustic rendition of a poem. “His song” was Don McLean’s “Empty Chairs”. 

The first cover could have turned out quite differently; according to Wikipedia: 

Helen Reddy has said she was sent the song, but “the demo… sat on my turntable for months without being played because I didn’t like the title”. 

Roberta Flack’s successful 1973 cover is still soft, but with some defining chord changes, and a slightly more soulful sound.

Further mutating the tune, The Fugees laid down their hip-hop version in 1996, to much acclaim. 

If you poke around YouTube looking for versions of this song, you’ll probably find about a dozen copies of a crooner version credited to Frank Sinatra. It does kind of sound like The Chairman, but he never actually recorded it. That’s Perry Como, from his 1973 album And I Love You So. 

Some Guys Have All The Luck – Persuaders 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3NWbvFsBVo

First released in 1973 by R&B group The Persuaders, Rod Stewart’s cover of “Some Guys Have All the Luck” served as one of the important hits of his 80s comeback (and his third time appearing on this list, what is it with this guy and covers?) In between those two versions, Robert Palmer also recorded his own version, with significantly altered lyrics and arrangement. Palmer’s version is probably the strangest, kind of a gritty new wave thing, reminiscent of Pete Shelley’s “Homosapien“. 

There have been several other covers, including a gender swapped country version. Of special note is Maxi Priest’s 1987 rendition, which (mostly) returned to the original lyrics and arrangement, but with Maxi’s signature “reggae fusion” sound. 

Tainted Love – Gloria Jones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSehtaY6k1U

When Marilyn Manson covered “Tainted Love” in 2001 for the Not Another Teen Movie soundtrack, it was fairly common knowledge that he was covering a Soft Cell song. Soft Cell’s 1981 arrangement, however, was not the original. American soul singer Gloria Jones’ Motown-influenced version was a B-side for “My Bad Boy’s Comin’ Home”, which failed to make a lasting impression domestically. Jones herself, however, had very much made an impression in England, where she was dubbed the “Northern Queen of Soul”. 

Eventually the song entered the radar of the synth-pop duo Soft Cell. Their 1981 version became their only major hit in North America, and one of the defining songs of the 80s. 

Side notes and honorable mentions: 

You might already knew that The Isley Brothers recorded “Twist and Shout” a year before The Beatles, but did you know that a group called The Top Notes recorded it a year before that? 

“I Love Rock n Roll” by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, arguably one of the most ubiquitous and recognized songs of the modern era, was originally released by The Arrows in 1975. 

Animotion’s “Obsession”, unofficial theme song of the fashion world for more than 30 years, was originally recorded by Michael Des Barres & Holly Knight.

Madonna’s “Ray of Light” was adapted from “Sepheryn” by Curtiss Maldoon, though it’s not a direct cover. 

Led Zeppelin have a storied history of borrowing, adapting, and straight-up stealing. A cursory Google search will provide many articles and videos discussing this, but the two examples which I think best fit the theme are “Dazed and Confused”, originally by Jake Holmes, and “Stairway to Heaven”, adapted from “Taurus” by Spirit. 

Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” was adapted from “Crescent City Blues“, written by Gordon Jenkins and sung by Beverly Mahr. Also, more than half the songs on Cash’s 5 American Recordings albums are reinterpretations of a diverse selection of songs.

[QZGS meta] what’s in an OP? dawning glory (pt 3)

(part 1) (part 2) 

This is the third and last post in my little series analyzing the opening theme of The King’s Avatar Season 2! Honestly, this whole thing became way longer than I was expecting. I guess this is what happens when all my immense amount of love for this series, accumulated over years of no-donghua-updates, overlaps with my immense amount of love for anime openings. 

Watched the first and second episodes yesterday, and they really sparked a lot of joy. :D I missed Blue River so much :D

Yesterday, they released the OST for Season 2, which includes the TV cut and full versions of the OP and ED, as well as two insert songs, and the instrumental versions of all of the above. I’ve yet to find anywhere that lets me download the audio files (hoping they’ll be reuploaded to youtube or bilibili soon), but in the meantime you can listen here. They’re really good songs!  https: //www. kuwo. cn/album_detail/15792659

Anyway, let’s finish up this OP analysis!

Now here, we reach the true climax as we enter the chorus section. This next segment is definitely the highest-energy part of the entire opening. It’s a montage of Happy’s characters showing off their moves, timed to the music; there’s not too much deeper meaning, but damn if it doesn’t look fantastic. The animation flows from one character and scene to the next so smoothly, so beautifully, it’s just incredibly hype to see. This is what you get when you specifically choreograph/animate sequences for the opening instead of just reusing shots from the main show! (Parts of some of these shots appeared in episode 1, but I do honestly think that it’s more likely that the show reused shots from the opening than the other way around, just because of how perfectly the OP fits together. I also don’t think it’s super noticeable in-show; I’ve just been watching this obsessively.)

In particular I love the line that kicks this all off: “just put on your battle armor and step onto the road to the unknown.” Specifically, though, the rhythm of the lyric is, “jiu pi shang zhan jia ta shang wei zhi qian fang,” with emphasizing accents on the -ang sounds. This isn’t how you would divide the phrase naturally, but because the (syncopated!!) melody accents these notes/syllables, the rhyming effect really stands out and it feels as clever and satisfying as a rap lyric. Moreover, the emphasis times juuust right with the attacks of Soft Mist, Steamed Bun Invasion, and Windward Formation, a perfect example of how music and visuals mutually reinforce each other for maximum cool effect. 

It’s generally easier to rhyme in Chinese than English, because of a smaller phonetic vocabulary. From the chorus onward, the key rhyme is on the “-ang” sound (think “ahng” or “ong”, not “aang” like the Avatar), which is a good choice - powerful, reverberant. The asymmetry of the syllable’s use in this section - the song’s lines are all different lengths at this part, so you’re kept on your toes as to when the pattern will reappear - helps add to the engaging excitement of the song. This is also the syllable used for most of the rhymes in the second half of the first OP. 

jiu pi shang zhan jia ta shang wei zhi qian fang

hui qi shou zhong wo jin de na shu guang

you ni men zai lu shang__

shi li liang

I really love One Inch Ash’s design. Concealed Light had a big redesign for this season, and honestly I like it as well. And notice here that he’s holding a book - exactly how we left Luo Ji when we saw him last! 

“Waving the light clenched tightly in our hand” - that is to say, brandishing our light as our weapon, no matter what form it may take - a sword, a book, our hope and determination. 

On a purely musical note (ha), right at this point, specifically the measure beginning with “那束光,” you can hear a three-note “ooo” harmony line in the background, and wow it’s so subtle but I love it so much! A similar three-note line actually appears earlier too (during the “crossing the frozen finish line,” right as the music is building up), also to great effect.  

We follow Concealed Light’s gaze upward to the building to see Deception running along the wall, from which he does a flip and slashes downward with twin blades. I love that transition a lot, but my favorite transition of this entire sequence has to be the following one:

Yes! Deception’s cross slash resolves perfectly into the cross held by Little Cold Hands. It’s so fast and so natural you don’t even notice it, and that’s the absolute beauty of it. The first time I saw this, I was in awe - the animators really brought their A-game to this, far better than I ever would have dared hope for this series.

And Little Cold Hands is so pretty! When we got our first art of her official design, the comments were filled with people simping for her, and honestly, valid. I’m surprised her hair is purple instead of pink, but that’s just a minor thing. 

There’s something especially powerful about how she raises her cross in time with the lyric “having you all here [with me] on this road,” and then the cross flashing brilliantly with “it’s power.” More than any other role, the healer is a team player. And this theme of team togetherness is particularly important for An Wenyi, who is deeply moved by the team’s perhaps illogical faith in him. Remember that analogy Ye Xiu tells him, of the straw tied to the deluxe mitten crab? 

An aside: listening to this, I always thought the line should be 有你们在身旁 instead of 有你们在路上, because it still fits the rhyme, because my past experience has somewhat conditioned me to expect that phrase, and because the full message of “having you by my side is power” just makes me wanna tear up like what a good line! So it felt like a missed opportunity that they didn’t use that. But as it turns out, the final iteration of this chorus in the full version of the OP does, in fact, use “by my side”! And I think making this tiny tweak to the lyric the final time you here it just makes it that much stronger :’)

I’m also just a big fan of the “it’s power” melodic flourish in general, since it comes as a surprise. You kind of expect the melody to end with the previous phrase, but the extra notes here add a really nice emphatic beat to finish off the line. 

So to recap the transitions: we see Soft Mist falling from the sky and get a close up of her face as she stabs her spear; this takes us to a closeup of Steamed Bun’s face facing roughly the same direction before we zoom out to his torso and he slashes from lower left of the screen to upper right; following the motion of that slash we see Windward Formation’s torso rotate in that direction as the camera zooms out farther; we follow the rays of his attack to see One Inch Ash drawing his sword; we zoom in on the flashing blade and zoom out on Concealed Light’s glowing book; we follow his gaze upward to see Deception running along the building behind him; Deception leaps and slashes and the slash becomes Little Cold Hands’ cross, which raises up and triggers an explosion. It’s just so dynamic and smooth even without taking place in one continuous setting, and it just really, really gets you hyped. 

Also, starting from Happy’s team picture at the start of the chorus, which is during the day, it feels like Soft Mist and Steamed Bun’s moves are at late afternoon, Windward Formation and One Inch Ash take us to nighttime, and then you can see the first rays of morning in Concealed Light and Deception’s segments. This continuity also definitely helps with the feeling of natural flow through these scenes. 

Anyway, this entire action segment is just so beautiful, I could watch it on loop. But we still have the final segment of this OP to analyze, so let’s keep going.

After the action sequences of the climax, we settle down a bit now as we approach the end. Here we see the Excellent Era team picture, in the same style as the team pics we saw earlier, but presented separately. It makes sense, as the role they play in the story is different from the roles of all the other teams. 

Sun Xiang, Liu Hao, and Cui Li are at the bottom. Because we’re panning up, these three are the first we see. At first glance, the way they’re positioned is fairly consistent with the team pics we’ve seen already: Captain Sun Xiang at center-right, the largest figure; vice-captain Liu Hao, manager Cui Li in the background. 

Sun Xiang’s position and expression is really the only one that fits the healthy pattern of the teams we’ve seen already - looking toward the camera, a confident (though arrogant) smile. He might be misguided, but there’s hope for him yet. Notice how Liu Hao isn’t even looking at the camera, which as we’ve seen before is somewhat of an indication of how unified and focused the team is toward its goal; instead, Liu Hao is doing his own thing, determined to prioritize his own desires over what’s best for the team. And manager Cui Li is in this image too, despite not even being a player. His sinister presence reflects the unhealthy interference of the business side in the gaming side. Excellent Era’s downfall comes about because of its prioritization of profit over victory.

As we pan up, Excellent Era’s logo comes into view. It’s larger than any of the other team logos we’ve seen so far, spanning around three-quarters of the screen whereas the others looked to span no more than half. Excellent Era’s legacy is a weighty one, to date the only team to have ever won three championships, and consecutively to boot. 

It’s this immense, shining logo that seems to be casting Tao Xuan on the left into shadow. He cuts a large figure, reflecting the deep impact his actions have had upon the main plot of this story, even though he’s only now appearing for the first time in the donghua.

However, he’s also turned away from the camera, such that we can barely even see his closed eye. Because of that, it’s difficult to read his expression, but the impression given by this pose is not one of vindictive pride, but one of shame, as though he can’t quite bear to face what he’s done. On some level, no matter how he might try to rationalize it as necessary, Tao Xuan knows that his profit-driven betrayal of Ye Xiu was a pretty awful thing to do. It might be this amount of guilt that leads him to offer Ye Xiu a wish granted, a tribute to their years of friendship and partnership before their ties are severed completely.

In the end, Tao Xuan’s greed leaves him with nothing really to show for it. What had he gained? What had he lost? Those realizations are still a ways off in the story, but I like how this OP is already hinting at the depth of his character. Tao Xuan isn’t some glasses-flashing, evil-laughing, one-dimensional antagonist; he is in fact very realistic for the setting. We can condemn his actions and priorities, but at the same time we can understand how he ended up here.

As for Su Mucheng, her eyes are closed as well. She’s brightly illuminated, but pointedly turned away from all of the others in Excellent Era; she knows the direction of her future, and that it no longer lies with Excellent Era. Her loyalty was always to Ye Xiu, and as soon as he was banished, her relationship to the team was professional and nothing more. 

“This light hidden in my heart is burning” - there are many ways to read this lyric and what exactly the light referenced here is, but because the line is paired with this image, I naturally think about Su Mucheng’s situation. Despite her pretty-vase, sweet-girl appearance, she holds a deep, profound anger at everything that happened regarding Excellent Era. It’s a testament to her immense strength of character that she lasted the remaining one and a half years of her contract in this hostile environment. 

Yet even as she resolves to cut ties, there’s a sadness in her expression. She was here from the very beginning as well, when Excellent Era was no more than an internet cafe, and it pains her immensely that the powerhouse, championship team that they and her brother had built from the ground up would ultimately meet this tragic end.

It’s interesting to note that both of the “redeemable” characters here (namely Su Mucheng and Sun Xiang) are on the right, more brightly-lit side of the screen, so there’s a nice little dividing line you can draw there. Sun Xiang’s eyes are still looking toward the left, though, revealing how his character development still has yet to play out.

From there we cut to Ye Xiu holding Lord Grim’s account card. He’s standing back on top of the roof from the beginning of the OP, now in full daylight.

As mentioned… the animators really went ham on the bangs animation.

Ye Xiu turns away from the railing, the camera cuts to an image of Happy’s logo on a flag waving in the wind, and then we zoom out to see the current members of Team Happy gathered together in uniform, standing proud in the light of day. Left to right, Steamed Bun, Tang Rou, Luo Ji, Ye Xiu, An Wenyi, Wei Chen, Chen Guo. Presumably, this will be Happy’s lineup by the end of the season. 

Up until now, we’ve only seen the real players separate from each other - they’ve all been in different places, never even in the same frame together. (This, of course, also contrasts the pro team pics that we have, which show everyone together.) Halfway through the OP, we got the group shot of them meeting in game with their characters. And now, they’ve finally met up in the real world as well. 

One thing I like about this final pose is how it compares to the final pose of the OVA OP. It’s the same kind of power-pose vibe, but there we only had Ye Xiu, Chen Guo, and Tang Rou. Look at how we’ve grown since then! They’re well on their way to being a proper pro team! 

And that’s a wrap! With this final image of Team Happy gathered together, we’re ready to enter the episode proper. 

So let’s talk about the OP as a whole. Generally, an OP serves a couple of main roles: a) tells you a bit about what the show is about, b) gives you an overall feeling / mood for the show, c) gets you hyped and ready to watch the upcoming episode.

How well does this opening achieve those goals? Pretty well, as we’ve seen. Past OPs did a pretty good job of setting the mood, but they honestly just put some pretty visuals on the screen, only vaguely aligned to the music, and called it a day. This OP, however, has a cohesive storyline to tell, framed around Team Happy’s coming together (following the tagline of this season). Even in such a short span of time, it manages to convey so much information about its story and characters, both overt and implicit (as I hope this series of posts has managed to convince you). Paired with the music, which has its own deeper meanings encoded in the lyrics, the OP becomes incredibly effective and memorable as it makes its statement.

I mentioned an “interest curve” earlier (interest in the sense of interesting, not the money); this is part of the standard formula for anime opening songs, in my experience. I’m a little too lazy to draw a graph myself, so take a look at this image:

(source: https: //www. researchgate. net/figure/Example-of-an-interest-curve-for-a-successful-entertainment-experience_fig1_333917625 )

Although not all of the relative heights and segment lengths are accurate in this specific case, hopefully the general shape of the interest curve is enough to demonstrate my point. You’ve got the A-B peak at the opening instrumental segment, the C-D peak/arc over verse 1, the D-E-F peak/arc over verse 2, then the sharp F-G-H peak over the chorus before dropping off for a smooth landing right into the episode. This general pattern is effective at holding the viewer’s focus and managing their excitement over the course of this one and a half minutes. 

Visually, the OP is just such a treat for the eyes. I’ve already talked about many of the little details I love - lighting, character designs, animations, transitions, etc. - but all in all the new animation studio is doing a really good job here. An OP is how you hook people, and I’d definitely feel comfortable using this to try and bait people into watching this show. 

One comment I want to add is about the incorporation of the credits, which we didn’t see until the episode premiere. I don’t think there’s anything too exciting to say (and I also don’t have access to any images right now since the OP was only shown in episode 2), but the fonts and styling were a nice choice - it gave a gaming vibe, but if I recall it still used a serif font, so it didn’t feel overly modern - and the text positioning generally complements instead of distracting. I also liked how they showed the lyrics! I didn’t really expect them to include them onscreen, or if they did, I thought they would just be plain subs like they were in this video. But in the actual OP that plays at the beginning of the episode, they’re as much a part of the art as the credits!

If I had to make any criticism, my biggest complaint about the OP is, I think, the singers. I think having two different singers trade off can work nicely, but in this case, the switches are jarring because their voices are so different. The first singer has a lower, gravely voice, while the second singer’s voice sounds much brighter and more nasally. Furthermore, the first switch doesn’t come until we’re fully halfway through the song, which means that by that point we’re already used to this first singer. It’s also strange that they’d switch back to the first voice at the climax of the song, when I think the second voice would suit the high-energy segment much better. Switching from second to first right at this point feels like we’re actually taking a step down in energy, which is the opposite of what should be happening here. 

Still, my main problem isn’t with the voice switching but with the voices themselves, and I think the voices are something I could get used to. The third switch, going from the first voice back to the second voice during the shot of Excellent Era, is much less jarring than the others - I actually like how it feels like the solo is passing naturally from one person to the next, emphasizing the ideals of this not being a single-player game and all that. For that transition in particular, I think (because of the added “it’s power” flourish) it happens too quickly for one person to sing it comfortably, so having another person pick up the line works best. And I do like how the voices sound when they overlay together for the final lines of the song. 

So, overall? Overall, this OP is really damn good. It’s everything I could have asked for and more. After such a long wait, the OP, at least, does not disappoint, and I’m extremely excited to see what the series has in store for us. 

If you’ve read to this point, thank you! I like this series a lot, as you can probably see, and I’m treating it as my glory :)

If you feel up for writing more ever all I crave is Ghost angst Constantly S a d //it can have a happy or sad ending if you want I just need to agressively throw my emotions at a fiction character who is also sad//

So anon, I know its been like a few Months or something since you requested this, but here it is,,, Ghost angst!! I can’t tell you my plans because that would spoil the surprise but what I can say is: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I present to you:

Once More, This Time With Feeling

Rating: PG-13 (but rating may go up), SFW for now

Ship: Ghost/Spooker

Warnings: Angst, emotional turmoil, Ghost being an idiot feelings-wise, dark/intrusive thoughts, blocking others out, next chapter may have more warnings

Summary: The P.I.E. team head out for a seemingly normal case, but things quickly spiral out of control, and Ghost ends up in quite a unique circumstance, to say the least.

Word Count: 3,516

Nothing unusual happens, before it all starts, nothing that would indicate how utterly to shit everything goes in a mere matter of hours. There are no red flags, or bad omens, or warning signs. Everything seems as normal as it can be when you’re a paranormal investigator for a living - so when the call comes in for a fairly simple job, Ghost accepts and gives the woman an ETA before shouting a quick, “We’ve got a job!” down the hall and slinging his satchel over his shoulder as he makes his way to the door. He hears a distant whoop from Spooker just before he exits, to which he rolls his eyes.

The car ride is uneventful, save for some antics with Toast’s driving license - or lack thereof. They reach the large office building a few minutes before he said they would, and the woman has a look like she’d be pleased if the situation weren’t so distressing - he’s been met with similar looks much more than one might expect. He walks over and introduces him and his team, all business, and only grimaces slightly when he introduces Spooker, though he thinks the woman might have noticed nonetheless. 

She’s mocha-skinned, a fraction taller than Ghost and perfectly kempt, with a perfectly trimmed bob and rigid posture that scream, “Inconvenience me, I dare you.” An immaculate suit and tie complete the look.

Her name is Christine Hemmingway, and she explains that she works in the office behind her as a supervisor - during a recent trip to the basement, she discovered a strange new door leading to a series of branching underground tunnels reaching lengths she can’t accurately estimate without entering them - an idea she wisely rejected outright - but, from what little she saw from the entrance, might span the entire downtown area. She heard noises, possibly talking, along with a faint ebbing glow, coming from one of the tunnels on the right, but shut the door before she could see who, or what, it was when the sounds went quiet and she heard footsteps approaching. When Ghost asks, she’s adamant the door wasn’t there before, and has replaced a water cooler and a stubby filing cabinet too short to conceal the door, both of which have disappeared completely.

Looking up at the building Ghost notes that it looks completely empty, and asks Christine if she has a way inside, to which she nods and pulls out a key card with her face on it, handing it to him while saying, “Lose this, and you’ll regret it - one, because you won’t be able to get out, and two, because you’ll have to explain to security why you’re inside a business outside office hours, and while I’m sure they’d just love to hear the story of a spooky new door in the basement, I doubt it will save you from being charged with breaking and entering.” Ghost nods and after unlocking the front door and jamming his foot in the crack, he tucks the card safely inside his bag. He hears Toast mutter something like, “Wouldn’t be the first time,” and snorts inelegantly.

Christine looks like she’s starting to rethink her decision about hiring them, so Ghost spits out something professional sounding along the lines of, “We’ll do our best to find the cause of these tunnels, you can count on us ma’am,” and it seems to work pretty well, until Colon breaks the silence with a sharp cough that sounds suspiciously like laughter. Ghost fails to suppress a side-long glance his way, and does even worse at keeping a single brow from arching in question; Colon only “coughs” again, louder this time.

For the sake of his likely rapidly declining paycheck, he just sighs and opens the door, holding it there and waving the others inside. “After you.”

The others enter and he takes the rear, letting Toast lead them towards an elevator with a “1” printed beside it. Pressing the down arrow, Spooker comments, “Nice to use a normal, functioning elevator for once, usually they’re either busted or do something crazy, like move diagonally or something, and are bringing us somewhere that’ll probably try to kill us.”

They all huff varying degrees of laughter, and Ghost replies, “I hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t know what you expected when you answered the job request, because “normal” stuff isn’t something we have an abundance of in the “paranormal investigation” line of work. It’s sort of in the name.”

Spooker shrugs and smiles at him dopily, and the elevator dings beside him, announcing its arrival as the door slides open. He flinches at the volume, smile faltering, and they quickly shuffle inside. Colon hits the ‘B’ button, cringing when it beeps too. The elevator shifts and, with a groan, begins its descent. They’re silent on the way down, apart from the occasional tapping of Toast’s foot, or the click-click of Ghost making sure his flashlight works. Spooker looks up at this, and Ghost can practically see his thoughts when he starts, and fumbles at the one clipped to his belt, mouthing “Oh!” He grabs it, looking quite pleased with himself.

Ghost feels something pool in his chest at the sight, much too fond for his liking, and when his lip twitches upwards in amusement, whatever was swelling in his chest immediately curdles. The not-quite-smile sours and congeals, writhing, until he’s left with a deep scowl and an aching where something softer once lay. Despite its unpleasantness, Ghost still finds the feeling easier to deal with; bitterness and discomfort were familiar, they kept him grounded in reality, rather than letting him get his hopes up only for them to be crushed yet again. He doesn’t know how Spooker stays so positive despite how often he’s rejected and let down, especially by Ghost - he doesn’t think he could completely bounce back from many of them, let alone do it as quickly as Spooker does.

As the elevator chimes its arrival to the basement, Ghost feels a sharp pain on his bottom lip, and swears under his breath when he realizes he’s worried his lip hard enough to draw blood. The other two are too far to hear it, but Spooker glances back from where he stands in the doorway, concerned. His eyes flick to Ghost’s lips - the bottom of which now has a small bump, and Ghost swipes his tongue over it unconsciously, tasting iron - and when he meets his eyes again Spooker seems even more worried. “Are you-” he starts, but Ghost interrupts before he can finish, responding, “It’s fine - just a cut,” and Spooker looks like he wants to point out that that isn’t what he was asking, but isn’t sure how, but it doesn’t matter because it’s shut him up for now. He slides past Spooker, deciding to just put aside the whole elevator ride for the time being - he can deal with it after they’ve completed the mission, once he’s alone. He schools his features to neutrality and makes his way across the room to where Toast and Colon are examining an old wooden door, ill-fitting in its modern surroundings. “I understand what she meant by ‘strange’ now,” he comments as he approaches.

“Yeah, definitely stands out, doesn’t it?” Colon shoots back, and rolls back onto his heels, taking in their surroundings.

“All I can really think about is all that paperwork they’re going to need to redo,” Toast interjects.

Ghost snorts, pushing past them, announcing, “Alright, let’s get this shit over with,” and gripping the rusty handle and turning it. He swings open the door to reveal an empty, narrow tunnel, too long for his flashlight’s beam to reach very far ahead, with archways presumably leading to similar tunnels. Spooker, being the last one in, shoves a nearby chair into the gap between the door and frame to keep it open, just in case.

They make their way down the main tunnel, shining their lights down the branches as they pass, every once in a while coming across a room, which they poke their head into, or an iron door - often locked, each with a small, barred window to see inside, and most leading to another seemingly identical tunnel, some complete dead ends, others to (sometimes totally barren) rooms - with no apparent rhyme or reason to their placement. Something about it all plants a growing seed of dread in the pit of his stomach, but he can’t place what it is that bothers him so much. None of these things are unusual to see in their investigations, and are all pretty by-the-book as entities’ lairs go, but maybe it’s the way it’s all laid out - there’s no practical way for them to search every single tunnel, that would take days, maybe weeks, so there’s no real way to know what to expect, and the door placement is so sporadic that it’s impossible to tell if something is locked because it’s important, or just another meaningless path to who-knows-where; maybe it’s that they’ve been walking for at least fifteen minutes and nothing has changed, other than the fact that he can’t see the door anymore, just a wall of darkness at their backs. There aren’t any lights, though Ghost does spot an empty sconce every so often, and Ghost isn’t afraid of the dark by any means, nor is he claustrophobic, but he can feel the darkness behind him like hands on his back, and the tunnel is carved just wide enough to almost fit two people side by side, with flawless smooth stone on all sides, and a ceiling that arcs just above Toast’s head at its peak, so close that Ghost worries it might come crashing down any moment. He doesn’t even know if these are even actual tunnels in the ground, or if they’re in another dimension, or between them - and he’d rather avoid repeating that experience, thank you very much.

Glancing around, the others don’t seem to be any more on alert than they usually are on missions, so he’s probably just overthinking it - but that explanation does little to quell the panic rising in his chest, which only grows larger, filling the space his lungs need to expand. He realizes he’s chewing on his lip again when the cut stings from being reopened. He digs his nails into his palm to bring himself back to the present, but the hands on his back have morphed into something colder, darker, and he can’t focus when, logically, he knows there’s nothing behind him but an empty tunnel and eventually an old door, but every instinct in his body is screaming that something is very, very wrong, and they need to leave right now, but he can't even tell if there’s still an available escape because the tunnel is so completely void of light and there’s nothing he can do about it.

He doesn’t see Colon take out his detector, and clearly jumps about a foot in the air when it shatters the silence with a shrill beep - and just when did it become so deathly quiet that the only sounds are their footsteps on the smooth, stone floor? - and when they look at him like he’s grown a second head he laughs awkwardly and says, “Warn a guy next time!”

Colon takes it at face value, and apologizes before turning back to the beeping machine in his hand; Toast gives him a look of “everything okay?” to which he shrugs, and Toast nods in understanding, probably planning on asking him about it later. Spooker seems unconvinced though, and while he doesn’t say anything, he steps just a fraction closer to Ghost, and maybe by doing so he’s admitting it’s not really fine, that nothing is, but nonetheless, he doesn’t move away. It’s not obvious with the close confines of the tunnel, but Spooker notices, and he smiles a little, but it’s tinged with sadness and something else Ghost can’t name.

That’s when the detector’s beeping spikes, turning frantic.

Everyone is on alert immediately, but Toast is the first one to motion in the direction of what sounds like approaching footsteps, bare on the cold stone floor. They all turn around to face whatever’s coming down the passage, the beeping steadily increasing as the footsteps get louder. A pale foot inches into the beam of one of their flashlights, quickly followed by another, and with it, the rest of the short, petite girl, a mop of tangled black hair hiding most of her face and slim shoulders. Her white dress drags behind her in chunks, shredded and stained from dragging across the ground.

Ghost feels his eyes widen, and realizes he’s stumbled back, pressing into Spooker, who’s practically holding him up by the shoulders. Through the strands of hair he can see a single eye staring out at the bodies crowding the narrow hall, and he knows it’s stupid, but he can’t shake the feeling that it’s staring straight into him, even though she hasn’t glanced up once yet. He’s pretty sure he’s shaking now, and can only hope that Spooker hasn’t noticed, for the sake of his pride.

The ragged figure stops just inside the beam, finally looking up. She meets Ghost’s stare, and holds his gaze - they stay that way, matching each other in a silent battle of ‘who will crack first?’

“K-” he starts, “Katrina?”

Spooker shifts behind him, Ghost thinks he might be staring at him too. He doesn’t break away to check.

Katrina says nothing, only stares.

He takes a quivering step forward, feels Spookers hands fall from his shoulders, reaches out. Katrina still doesn’t look away, but she also doesn’t move away, so he takes another step towards her, then another, then another, until he’s right in front of her, hand merely an inch away from making contact. The flashlight in his hands quakes violently in his death-grip, but he drops a hand onto her shoulder, which is surprisingly solid. This seems to break Katrina from her trance though, and she screeches - not unlike a banshee, Ghost thinks distantly - clawing at him. 

He veers back, not quite quick enough to avoid the talons that just catch his cheek, leaving two shallow claw marks behind. The other three behind him break from their stupors and begin shouting, pushing themselves bodily between the two of them in an effort to protect him. Spooker makes it his job to confirm that Ghost is somewhat okay, before turning back to face the enemy in front of them.

Ghost’s cheek oozes blood, but not enough to really be worried, so he just holds one sleeve up to the cheek, letting it soak up the sticky liquid. The others have their guns trained on Katrina, but he can’t manage to make himself do the same, so he just ends up standing at the back, watching. He feels like a coward. Bile still threatens to claw its way out of his throat as he stands there numbly.

Behind her ratty tangles, she catches Ghost’s eyes once more, before disappearing altogether. He hears himself sobs her name under his breath, feels his legs wobble beneath him, but somehow manages to stay standing, despite the sickening dread swimming in the pit of his stomach. It doesn’t last long though, because soon, the group of them are hit with a wave of vertigo so strong, they fall to their knees collectively. Ghost chokes on his nausea. He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the swimming feeling, and when he opens them again, the long, narrow hallway is gone, replaced instead by an inky black room.

He fumbles blindly at his belt, whipping out his flashlight and flicking it on. He pivots, but his flashlight quickly collides with an obstacle - one that responds with a sharp “Ack! Dude-!” in Spooker’s voice.

“Shit!” Ghost spits, stumbling back - not very far, mind you, being that he hits the wall behind him not two steps back - and proceeds to shine his light directly into Spooker’s eyes until he shields them. “Jeez-Jesus, dude, Jesus.” He finally lowers the light, dropping into a crouch. “I gotta-I can’t, man. Shit!” He takes in a shaky gulp of air and tries not to scream.

Spooker probably has that look he gets when he’s trying to play it cool and seem unconcerned - but just ends up looking confused instead - because Ghost can hear it in his voice when he says, “Are y-?” He clears his throat. “Do you uh-need me to-er take care of that scratch? It could get infected if we don’t uh, do that. Yeah.”

“It would probably help to find some light,” he says, with more bite to it than either of them were expecting, “Y’know, so we don’t blind each other in this pitch-ass-black room?”

Spooker wisely does not comment on that statement, simply takes out his own flashlight and sweeps the beam around the room, eventually coming to rest beside Ghost. He looks up, realizes his head is inches away from the door handle, and sighs wearily before rocking forward and up into a standing position, opening the door.

He’s sure that neither of them are expecting to be met with a completely foreign corridor, still narrow, but seemingly lived in, at least in the past. Dim lights flicker overhead, implanted in a tile ceiling, a stark contrast to the empty sconces and carved stone of the previous tunnel.

They glance at each other once, before shuffling into the hall. Ghost sees three other doors lining the hall - one on the end and two on the opposite wall - and makes his way to the closest one. He moves to try the knob, but is impeded by Spooker catching the hood of his jacket and dragging him back, tutting, “Nope! We’re dealing with your injuries before we do anything else!”

Ghost feels himself pouting, and quickly changes his expression into one more neutral before turning around; Spooker seems to see it nonetheless, because he placates him by saying, “It’ll only sting for a second, promise!”

He pulls him to the ground, and Ghost crosses his legs, resting his uninjured cheek on his hand. He’s very much not sulking right now, even if Toast would tease him for it if he were present. He especially doesn’t glare at the alcohol as Spooker pulls it out. He does hiss as Spooker dabs at his cut, and he can see how much Spooker is struggling to not roll his eyes.

Finally, he’s allowed to do actually important things, and walks to the door, gripping the handle. It rattles, staunchly denying him entry, so he moves on. The next one does the same, and he moves to the one at the end of the hallway, which thankfully swings open with a grating creak, revealing a dimmer, but otherwise identical hallway to the one behind him. He repeats the process, with the exact same result as the previous section. He glances back at Spooker before pushing open the door at the end, to reveal a slightly dimmer version.

Again, he tries the doors. Again, the one at the end is the only one that opens. The next hallway is slightly darker than the last.

Ghost’s stomach churns nervously, and he glances once more at Spooker, whose expression is starting to match his own.

The light quickly diminishes, and soon enough they’re flicking their flashlights back on. “Crap-” he hears behind him, just before their lights flicker once, twice, and die simultaneously. A familiar giggle echoes throughout the small corridor, and Ghost shivers, moving minutely closer to where he last saw Spooker. Ghost shakes himself and fumbles toward the end of the hall, using the walls to guide himself. “Try the other doors, I’ll try the one at the end of the hall.” He hits the end of the hall a little harder than he meant to, and is a little glad for the dark, even if it can’t hide the soft ‘thud’ that bounces through the room. The door rattles in its frame, unbudging, so Ghost throws over his shoulder, “This one’s stuck, what about the others?”

“No luck over he-Woah!” A slam ricochets throughout the small place - presumably the door meeting the wall in a less than pleasant fashion. “You good?” Ghost manages to get out without his worry peeking through, falling just short of nonchalant.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m alright, just caught me off guard. Let’s go.” They hobble through the doorway, which slams shut behind them. Ghost’s mind swims with deja vu for a second, but he can’t place the reason for it, so he decides to put it aside for the moment.

Ghost thinks later that if he had to choose the moment everything truly started going to shit, he might choose this one. Like the calm before the storm, or the eye of a hurricane, or some other cliché crap.

Either way, the soft click of the door locking behind them feels like an omen of things to come.

Or maybe it’s the axe swinging directly toward Spooker’s head.

Here is my evil team organization. Remember the droog  and child evil team, I asked that. So here is my grunts for Team Myriad. These children are obsessed with fighting trainers and never talk at all. Speak in rhynmes or numbers. Well sometimes but not often. Are they friend or foe?

“These child like grunts have mysteriously appeared in the Galar region. Their motivations and faces are unknown. The thing they love the most is pokemon battling.” Utilize in  normal, fairy, psychic, and steel. But will use other types if they have to. 

So do you like this concept? Also any criticisms for my drawing or improvements. Like their appearance, looks, or design? Would this be an interesting team?

PS I wonder how the pokevillains  would react to this team. Intrigued or confused? Love your blog.

----------

I forgot about this sorry!!! I saw it the other day and forgot to reply.

Anyways, I really like the designs you have there and I can definitely see the inspiration from the Clockwork Orange aesthetics there. I like that they don’t talk and use rhymes, this is cool dialogue. It is, to me, relatively hard to picture it in an official Pokémon game because I don’t think Nintendo would want it to look too creepy and I can definitely picture this content in a creepy pasta aesthetic that I... don’t think Nintendo would wanna approach. It would be doable, though. And of course, as fan-content, even the creepy pasta style or other horror-related styles are valid. Anyway, it’s a versatile concept that could be used in many ways from just mysterious to actually scary.

I really like the masks, at first I was a bit confused because I thought these were their faces, before reading what you wrote there, but as masks these are neat. Also they are something I can see Nintendo going for, I mean, they literally gave Allister a creepy mask so why not?

Overall, yes, I like it! The concept is neat! As a basic premise for a team that works well for me, even if their goals are unclear. You are basically making the “unclearness” part of the concept. Also really like how you wrote their description in a Pokédex-style, like... the text really reminds me of Pokémon stuff. :3

The only thing I’m still kinda curious about is how this could be developped in order to remain interesting throughout the whole game/story (if a game/story were to be made with it of course), because in terms of narrative, just “it’s a mystery” with no further development can become rather boring or repetitive, or seem kinda disconnected from the rest of the narrated events (depending on how it’s done). Also it could be a problem if the mysterious events are not explained *at all* in the end (half-explained and up to interpretation endinds are good alternatives in my view, but, at least for me, “we’ll never know who they were after all” tends to be a disappointing ending).

Basically, I like the overall idea you gave me, there’s nothing here that I think is a bad idea, but I would find it hard to use if I were to make my own story with them because of the problems above. Maybe you have all that in mind and you already have a superb story with them that works perfectly well, in that case, great, I just wanted to mention what I thought of the concept in practical terms as a (bad) fanfiction writter. XD

BUUUUUUT of course I’m not the executive producer of Game Freak receiving the concept for the next game that I should review or anything, so all this is irrelevant. Even if you didn’t develop their story any further, that’s totally fine. You don’t even have the obligation of thinking this through and answering these questions, you can definitely just make your concept and visuals and not actually use it in a game/fanfiction/comic etc, that is perfectly ok. I’m just a boring person graduated in Language Arts that will go and make boring analysis of stuff. XD

About the art... I think it looks really cute! I don’t wanna go and criticize stuff based on style, like “the heads are too big, limbs are too thin” or something like this, because this is just your style. It’s an aesthetic choice. I could say that the heads are larger than what they usually are in Pokémon games, but honestly, so what? You don’t have to emulate the Pokémon style in order to create Pokémon content. So yeah, you can play with proportions as much as you want and since the drawings seem consistent in terms of symetry and style, that’s just ok.

That said, my only criticism might be...

1. The female grunt’s legs seem a bit too long (even considering the stylistic choices, I’m comparing her body proportions to that of the male grunt). Basically, if you put that same lenght of skirt on the male grunt’s body, it would go down to his socks, but on her she still has the same amount of skin + socks + boots under all that, you see? So maybe make her skirt shorter or make her boots and socks shorter... Or give up on showing parts of skin. It’s easy to lose the sense of proportions under loose clothes like skirts, but if you trace the body silhouette under her skirt, that will probably become clearer. It’s always nice to try and make a full silhouette or skeleton before drawing clothes, in my opinion. (Also this could have resulted from the angle you took the picture! could be just a distortion on the photo that made it look different, so if that’s the case, ignore this XD)

2. This could be a stylistic choice too, but I’m gonna mention it just in case, the limbs look kinda “noodle-ish”. This can also influence your measurement of body proportions like “where exactly does the arm bend”, “where exactly is the knee”, this sort of thing... Of course, as I said, it could just be style, like Adventure Time, for example. They just have those noodle arms. But since I don’t know if that was a conscious choice or not, I decided to mention. Lots of people (including younger me) start by drawing arms (and hands!) as a “continuum”, so if the arms are streched, they are just one straight line from shoulder to hand (some people will even make it shoulder to fingers and put the hand in the noodle pack). And if the limbs are bent, the elbows and knees, fingers and wrists, fold in not very precise places. However, I found it easier to draw arms, legs and hands by subdivinding these limbs into smaller sections. It’s easier to keep them proportional and understand how they bend. You made their arms fully stretched in a way where elbows are not visible and, in the girl specifically, seem a little bit short? Again that can defintely be used as stylistic resource, so only consider this tip if you’re aiming for a more realistically-proportional style.

3. You may wanna make the male grunt’s feet a bit larger? Also they are inclined and I don’t know if that was done intentionally or not. (or if it was just the paper bending a bit when you took the pic).

I’m like... not a professional artist or a teacher or anything. I’ve literally never studied art, so when I give out these feedbacks, they are usually based on my own life-experience and what I’ve learned drawing. But it’s always hard to set the line between style and mistakes. I was once told that you must first learn the basics of actually proportional anatomy before you can start playing with it, so when people ask me for tips, I try to stick to the things I’ve learned myself while developing my knowledge in anatomy and proportions. Not that I am like.. an expert, of course. So yeah, basically, don’t take my criticism as the ultimate truth, I’m still just learning just like you. ^^

About suggestions and improvements: Maybe add something to their canes, on the handle part? And maybe adding detail to their boots... But only if you want to of course. Also, have you thought of eyelashes for the masks, like... eyelashes on only one eye or something? This wouldn’t be for the grunts because I think they look great just like that and are already complex enough, but you might wanna use that for admins or something? Specially if it’s eyelashes on the lower half of the eye.

I also would like to say that I couldn’t read everything you wrote, sorry.... I’m bad with handwriting! So forgive me if I said anything redundant that you had already put in the info. ^^

And finally... I don’t usually make reaction things in submissions, only during ask events, so forgive me for not giving you the villains reactions here. I hope you understand. ^^

SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG REPLY AND FOR THE DELAY, I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT I SAID INTERESTING AND USEFUL MAYBE?

Talking amongst ourselves - fanfic writer interviews: @ihni

(Originally, these interviews were done more conversationally, but this interview is a LONG one! So I edited it down for tumblr. You can read the whole unedited, uncut interview over on a03! There are pictures involved. :)

Please say your first name, your age, your pronouns, the fandoms you write for and provide a link to your a03. You can also mention your sexual orientation or other details, if you'd like.

 Ihni:

My real name is Moa, but I go by Ihni online. On AO3, I have an account under Ihni (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni) but that's for rhymes (and doodles). I only wrote rhymes/poetry for a long time, and when I started writing fic, I wanted to put that under another pen name. I was NOT comfortable writing stories for YEARS. Now, though, I don't care. So, I write fics under the pen name Thei (https://archiveofourown.org/users/thei/).

It's all Stranger Things, these days. Harringrove (because I love the fandom and I like the two of them interacting) and Billy-centric (because I love his character, SO MUCH).

I am ace and aro, so my fics tend to not contain any sex (I have ALLUDED to it a couple of times, but that's basically as far as I go). I am also just as happy to write fics without any romantic or sexual relationships at all. Billy and Steve can be buddies only, as far as I'm concerned.

How do you feel about being aroace when so much of fanfic is all about romance and sex?

Ihni:

I live by the tried and tested rule of "don't like, don't read". 

There is a lot of romance in our fandom, for sure. But it's not like it's lovey-dovey IN OUR FACE romance, you know? 97% of Harringrove fics are two dumb boys who are bad at communication and who can't deal with Feelings. And I fucking live for that! Also, even the lovey-dovey fluffy romance stuff is cute, when it's them. I may not want a relationship for myself, but I don't mind at all if the boys are in one! (If they want it, they deserve it <3)

And as for sex ... well. I can read about sex, if it's well written or if it furthers the plot. If it's too graphic, I tend to scroll past it though, or just skim through it. It doesn't... give me a lot? I guess. Like, it's not like I read "smut" in the tags and go "oooh I have to read this!" - rather the opposite, in fact. I can read it, but it's not something I actively look for, and when I stumble upon it, I don't always read all of it. If I know the writer, I'll probably read through it to honor their work, though.

I just won't ever leave a "omg that was so hot!" comment! XD If someone expects that from me, they'll be disappointed (and I'm constantly terrified of disappointing or offending people for NOT commenting on their smut).

Basically, I am the master of my own fandom experience, and if something makes me uncomfortable I will keep away from it. Simple as that.

More people should live by that rule.

What's your writing process like?

 Ihni:

Uuuuuuuugh.

That's an interpretation of my writing process.

No, but.

I usually get SUPER INSPIRED to write a specific scene, or concept... and THAT part goes well, but then I have to build a STORY around it, and that takes SUCH A LONG TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT!

And also, usually, it gets out of hand.

I usually have to force myself to get the words in, honestly. And also, I get real tired of what I'm writing, real fast. So I have to force myself to finish (I have a few WIPs that are more than a year in the making...) before moving on to other things. (And I usually write the other things inbetween, anyway.)

I get easily distracted, when I write. Like, actually sitting down and writing takes an hour and a half. Then I MIGHT write for like twenty minutes, lol.

Cold Turkey Writer was a godsend XD.

If I have internet on while I'm writing, not a lot will be written, let's just ... let's just say that.

How do you edit?

Ihni:

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Erm.

Well.

Sometimes, I read through it once, and change a few things, and let that be it.

In a couple of cases, for the longer ones, I have actually made an effort to read through it more than once. (The problem being that by then, I'm so sick of it that I will skim through it just to get it over with.)

A couple of times, a friend has read through it for me, and given me pointers. Which is VERY HELPFUL! But they've offered to do it for me, I would never ask it of someone.

And about the editing process ... I check for spelling mistakes, or when something sounds wrong, or looks wrong ... and then I fix it, so it looks and sounds better in my head. I don't know. That's editing, right?

What fanfic authors do you admire?

Ihni:

In the Harringrove fandom, I have to mention LEMONLOVELY, because I'm in love with the way she writes Billy, and the way she's shaping her fics as she goes, and the way her attention to detail brings a whole mood (I am OBSESSED with her "Words Left Unsaid" fic, and am probably that fic's biggest fan).

LYMRICKS, because fucking hell, they sure can write a fic that draws you in. There's something about long sentences in combination with short sentences that really makes them easy to read, and the language is like a punch to the gut, at times.

CALLIEB, because I love their stories and I'm currently following "Second Thoughts" and I love how they write everyone like ... like they're holding their breath, waiting for something.

And I'm not even gonna mention any others by name because I'm terrible with names and I'm bound to forget someone and I'm just, I don't want to do that. Our fandom is full of talented writers, and I just. If I've commented on your fic, I read through all of it and I liked it. If I haven't - well, I HAVE been writing more lately = less time to read, and I have like 100 fic tabs open on all of my devices ... I hope to get there, some time!

In other fandoms, let me mention PeaceHeather (for how they write Loki and that world), aloneintherain (such good whump!), isaDanCurtisproduction (the absolute best Spideypool!) and gaelicspirit (who writes lovely angsty whumpy Musketeers fics). Like. Just to mention 0.01%, or something.

I don't think any of them, particularly, have impacted my style - because I don't HAVE a style - but I soak up every word of every fanfic I ever read, and if one sentence is a particularly pretty string of words, I will copy & paste it into a word document that is now 170 pages long, or screenshot it to keep it forever. ❤️

Words. <3

What's your favorite story of yours?

What's your least favorite story of yours?

What's your favorite line you've ever written?

Ihni:

Like, in what SENSE? Even though I know my writing isn't up to par, they're still my babies. Still my creations. I love them in different ways! Like. I love "Coming Back" because it was the longest I had written back then, and it's probably the one I am most pleased about, writing-wise, and it's also the one I went through and edited the most. So it feels like the one I worked the most on.

I love "Toy Soldiers" because it was a totally self-indulgent piece of writing that I wrote for the joy of it, and because I wanted to read it and no one else was about to write it for me.

I love "About Apologies" because something about it pleases me, it was an experiment that didn't fail, and I like it more and more with time.

I love "Less of a mistake, more of a miscalculation" because I had fun while writing it, and it turned out kind of like I wanted it to, plot-wise.

I love "Actions and reactions", because I had no idea what I was doing back then, but I still did it, and somehow it got long and I still don't know how that happened.

And I realise that this makes me sound a little self-centered, but I worked hard on them. I love them, even if they're my ugly and imperfect babies. And even if I cringe if I re-read certain parts XD

I guess my least favorite story of mine (and I'm guessing we're talking Stranger Things things here?) is "Not unusual" because a) I never re-read it and b) it was the start of something that I have to actually FINISH at some point and ugh, that was not the original plan. If we're talking least favorite stories in all fandoms, then definitely "In which there are mistakes made", which was a Teen Wolf fic, and the reason why I don't do WIPs anymore. The last chapter was written simply to fucking END it, and ugh, I hate it.

The favorite line I've ever written ...? I don't know. Are we talking in fic? Because I write my best stuff in comments, honestly. :p I don't think I have an answer for that one, actually. Sorry :S

What part of writing is easiest for you?

What part of writing is hardest for you?

 Ihni:

Easiest? Dialogue. I like dialogue. Like, as a non-English speaker I can at least imagine a plausible exchange of words, and banter, and make it sound somewhat realistic, I imagine.

Hardest? The rest. Like, some people are just fucking WIZARDS with words, can write these long descriptive sentences that perfectly sets the mood for when a character gracefully moves across the room ... whereas I am just, "He stood up and walked over. End of fucking story."

What do you do when you're struggling for inspiration?

Ihni:

Give up?

Or do something else.

Or go and read. (That's basically the same as giving up.)

Or, if I'm still writing, I go to another part of the story and write THAT, and hope that I'll feel like connecting the two pieces, later.

Inspiration is a bitch.

Who introduced you to fandom and when?

Ihni:

Oh god. I am old. I don't remember. 

I started writing stories when I was real young, and I was always reading something. I started writing stories with my friends when I was a teenager. Then we discovered the internet (yes, this was around the time when we got internet access in school and at home, told you I was old!) and when doing that, I guess we found more like-minded people.

Fanfics ... weren't an organized thing, back then. But I've been reading them, and been in fandoms, ever since I discovered that there were people online who liked the same things that I liked.

I would say, actively, from maybe around 19-20 years old? Like, that was ACTIVE fandom-ing.

What is your advice to fellow writers?

How often do you jump between fandoms?

How long have you been writing?

Ihni:

As a WRITER, I am not the best person to give advice to writers, I think. I'd rather TAKE advice than give it, at this point.

As a READER, my advice is to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, because you are doing a good thing and you are creating a version of a world that is yours, versions of characters that you can shape into anything, and SOMEONE out there will love you for it (probably me).

I jump between fandoms ... hmm, as a WRITER? Seldom. Billy's my jam and I'm not moving.

As a READER? All the time. I mean, I'm pretty deep into Harringrove and Billy and Stranger Things, but sometimes I need something light-hearted, and then I go back to some of my basic fandoms, and read something else. I will never run out of things to read. 

❤️

And how long have I been writing? FOREVER. I wrote when I was young, and thought I was going to be an author (wrote in Swedish, back then). Then I wrote when I was a teen, for fun. Then I stopped writing. Then I started writing rhymes, in English, because it was a craft I could do and train in, and it was short pieces. And only in recent years (very recent), have I started writing fics. And now, I write long-ass fics in English, so I guess I have at least come a long way!

Why do you write?

Ihni:

...

I just sat and stared at the screen for a good ten seconds.

I'd say that it differs.

Sometimes, I write because I want to READ something and no one has written it (or is going to).

Sometimes, I write because I want a very specific thing or feeling, and it doesn't exist yet.

Sometimes, I write because I am inspired.

Sometimes, I write because I want to.

Sometimes, I write because of a deadline.

Sometimes, I write because there's something in my head that Won't Leave Me The Fuck Alone until I get it out.

Sometimes, I write for fun.

Sometimes, I write because I want to hurt.

Sometimes, I write because I need to.

Sometimes, I write because I want to become better at it; learn; reach towards the writers whose work I love.

And sometimes, I just sit and stare at a document, don't write a single fucking word, and go watch a movie instead.

Another top 20 albums of 2020

...So I’ve had a really hard time finding a number one this year...It’s likely’ I’ll choose which album I revisited the most although it may not have been my favourite...ANYWAY!!!!...

“...And have I left anything out?” – Albums of 2019

Thank You Scientist – Terraformer: I was going through the “liner notes” of DJ Jazzy Jeff’s ‘The PLAYlist’ project and clicked on the saxophonist Sam Greenfield as I’d recognised his name from a favourite of 2018. I saw that he had played on this ‘Prog Rock’ album. Having dabbled in rock over the years, I jumped on Thank You Scientist’s ‘Bandcamp’ page and pushed ‘Play’...and I’m so glad I did!!! This band for me is ‘Dream Theater’ meets ‘The Mars Volta’ in how explorative the music can become. I also found myself head nodding along like a madman. While the album does peak at its centrepiece, the amazing 10 minute instrumental ‘Chromology’, it does pick up again from ‘Life of Vermin’, not at the dizzying heights of earlier on, but enough for a satisfying conclusion. I think would made number 3 of last year’s list...

Alexander Claffy – Claffy II: ...Somehow I missed this despite loving this group’s 2016 album ‘Claffy’, which focused on a romantic break-up. This project feels like a continuation with what sounds like a new love interest coming into the picture. Toward the end of the 5-track project it sounds like Alexander is lamenting his previous partner. Will he be able to fully move on to pastures new? This would probably have made my honourable mentions...

Emmavie – Honeymoon: Towards the end of December, I was in the most AMAZING Neo-Soul room on ‘Clubhouse’ (thank you Shaniss and Shey!!!!), where I not only got to share a few tracks, but was thoroughly schooled with the amount of artists I had yet to check out, or in this case, revisit. Not only were shout outs aplenty for Emmavie, but she also shared a few tracks as well...anyway! This prompted me to check out the ‘Honeymoon’ album. This project for me progresses the UK Soul genre forward by utilising some elements of Broken Beat, a tiny hint of 80s Synth and a spot of Hip-Hop. I love that the interludes go harder than some of the main tracks. This may have made 19...

BlaqueStone – Full Circle: This was shared in THAT Clubhouse room by ‘S. Sweet’, ‘bassist and bandleader for the Neo-Soul outfit ‘Black Folks Don’t Swim?’. ‘Full Circle’ sucked me into that deep, rich Neo-Soul that I still visit every so often. Any tracks that didn’t really stand out for me were MORE THAN MADE UP FOR by the standouts on here. My favourites are ‘Peace of Mind’, ‘Find A Way’ and ‘Only Way Out’. This would’ve got a 16...

Danny Brown – uknowhatimsayin¿: ...I played myself by not checking this out when it released (sometimes I feel cheated by how short albums are these days that I take a while to get to them...). Strong production, great flows and feels like a much lighter note than ‘Atrocity Exhibition’. This might have made 13...

Blue Lab Beats – Voyage: And AGAIN!!!! -_- I missed the EP and the album, both which I thoroughly enjoyed and for me is a strong progression from ‘Xover’. From the airy optimism of tracks like ‘Voyage’ and ‘On & On’, to the soulful hip-hop stylings of ‘Next (Wake Up)’ and ‘What R U Here 4?’, to that insane horn cypher on ‘Stand Up’, ‘Voyage’ peaks time and time again. This may possibly have made my top 3!

Yakul – Getting Late EP: I wasn’t familiar with this group until the group leader James Berkeley featured quite heavily on Incognito’s latest project. My sister had played one of their singles from 2020, ‘Streetlight’, which caused me to look for more of their music. To which I found this 6-track EP. ‘Thoroughly enjoyed and looking forward to more! ‘Past Tense’ and ‘Blossoming’ are standouts for me...

Alfa Mist – Structuralism: Yep! I missed this too...literally JUST AFTER having shared my 2019 list...’Structuralism’ ventures as deep into the keys as its predecessor ‘Antiphon’, but this feels like the stronger project for me. I think I just enjoy the instrumentals more...This may have made 15...

...2020:

20) Dominic J Marshall – Nomad’s Land:

After a number of more beat-based projects, musician Dominic J Marshall returns with more of a Jazz-led body of work. This time around however, there is a fair amount of singing and freestyle rapping, which doesn’t always work for me. Fortunately the compositions saves and in some cases enhances the singing et al. My favourites are ‘Herb-Lady’, ‘Feeling’, ‘On Time’ and ‘Hypernormalised’...

19) Run The Jewels – RTJ4:

‘Run The Jewels’ released this project for free! Production-wise, El-P bounces between head-nodding, almost backpacker hip-hop and more synth-led sounds. While I haven't really taken much of the subject matter in (apart from ‘A Few Words For The Firing Squad’), I’m feeling the flows, features and of course, the production. My favourites are ‘Out of Sight’, ‘Goonies vs. ET’ and ‘Never Look Back’...

18) Tom Misch & Yussef Dayes – What Kinda Music:

I’ve been looking forward to more music from Tom Misch since hearing ‘Geography’. The teaming up with Yussef Dayes has a lot of the tracks feel more explorative; The first half of the album particularly has me picturing spacious landscapes, the drumming bringing visions of some kind of quest to be fulfilled. I haven't revisited this album a lot this year, but it gets stronger for me every time I play it...

17) Mark de Clive-Lowe – Dreamweavers:

This project is the brainchild of drummer Tommaso Cappellato, features bassist Andrea Lombardini and allows multi-instrumentalist Mark de Clive-Lowe to revisit his musical roots as well as a few of his earlier compositions. A lot of the music on here offers moments of reflection, although it takes moments to bring quite high energy in tracks like ‘Volta Ao Mundo’ and elevation in tracks like ‘Dreamweavers’ and ‘Masina’s World’ (if you got the additional tracks). I loved the cover of ‘Motherland’...

  16) Royce Da 5′9″ – The Allegory:

The idea behind this project is that most of (if not all) the tracks contain a hidden story or meaning. While a few of the messages went over my head (that or I didn't necessarily agree), I really enjoyed Royce’s flows and rhyme schemes, the features and the production, most of which was handled by Montgomery himself! My favourites are ‘I Don't Age’, ‘Pendulum’ and ‘FUBU’...

15) Duckwrth – SuperGood:

I checked this out based on a share from Gia from Twitter (I get a fair few recommendations from her...). Hearing ‘Kiss U Right Now’ prompted me to watch the visual album, which REALLY enhanced the experience of the project! ‘SuperGood’ is effectively an opportunity to reflect on those moments in life...where everything is cool (-_-). This doesn’t mean to ignore the stresses life throws at us but to appreciate the good regardless. I feel quite uplifted after playing this album. My favourites are ‘New Love Song’, Super Bounce’, ‘Weekend?’ and the optimistic closer ‘Find A Way’...

14) Nubya Garcia – SOURCE:

The first minute of the title track on here initially didn’t draw me in to hear more. But when that break came in...I was pretty much hooked. ‘SOURCE’ showcases Nubya’s growth as both a player and a writer/composer, as well as further cementing her place as a standout in this wave of contemporary UK Jazz artists. My favourites are ‘The Message Continues’, ‘Inner Game’ and ‘Boundless Beings’...

13) Ivan Ave – Double Goodbyes:

I wasn’t privy to this release until much later in the year. I checked this out having really enjoyed 2017′s ‘Every Eye’. The first three tracks felt like a departure from the aforementioned. The slightly stripped down sound wasn’t one I was particularly feeling, but the album picked up for me with ‘Triple Double Love’ onwards. I really related to the subject matter on ‘Guest List Etiquette’ and some of ‘Doobie’s Shout Outs’...

12) Georgie Sweet – Misunderstood:

My relationship with the Futuristica label is kind of like my relationship with ‘WWE’. I’m really deep into them for a while, then I leave for a while...’then I return. 2020 has been a year where I’ve perused the Futuristica projects deeper than I have in several years. I heard ‘What Have I Done’ and liked the hip-hop tinged Neo-Soul sound enough to check out the full album when it came out. I found the first few tracks pleasant enough and then ‘Sorry’ kicked in! The album then peaked again for me with ‘Half Human’ and stayed pretty consistent until the end. I’d definitely be interested in hearing more from Georgie Sweet in the future...

11) Ego Ella May – Honey For Wounds:

What a joy to see Ego Ella May return to music over the past few years!! I loved her EPs from the mid 2010s!! ‘Honey for Wounds’ shows a strong progression from her earlier work, taking on a more jazzy element this time around. The album covers themes of current events, love (self- and interpersonal), belonging and self-healing to name a few. ‘Honey For Wounds’ is a fitting album for these times, but will most certainly play well when on mellow, relaxed, or reflective moods...

10) KinKai – A Pennies Worth:

This was a recommendation from Dan. I’d kind of liked his feature on the Blue Lab Beats album ‘Voyage’ but I didn’t really pay attention until checking this album out. I will say that the soulful hip-hop production sucked me in initially. The production compliments KinKai’s flows and bars really well...

9) Nick Hakim – WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD:

This was another share from Gia from Twitter. I would best describe this album as ‘Trippy Soul’. The music remains at a slow, almost sleepy pace, but with some welcome progressions. The longer tracks give me the opportunity to get lost in the instrumentals as Hakim’s vocals wane in and out during the vamps and ad-libs. My favourites are ‘BOUNCING’, ‘QADIR’, ‘GODS DIRTY WORK’ and ‘WHOO’...

8) Marie Dahlstrom – Like Sand:

This was a recommendation from Zoe, who was also in THAT clubhouse room! This album showcases the current direction that the Neo-Soul genre has been going in for a while, crossing over with some RnB elements and pushing that blunt delivery from time to time. ‘Like Sand’ stays at a relatively mellow pace, that for me is great to walk/drive to in the evening. My favourites are ‘Time’, ‘A Loveletter - And improvisation’, ‘I Want You’ and ‘Lullaby’...

7) Deborah Jordan – See In The Dark:

Deborah Jordan’s third solo album (I think it’s her 7th or 8th album overall) could possibly be her, dare I say it, magnum opus. ‘See In The Dark’ stays generally in the realm of Soul, but ventures into acoustic, hip-hop, broken beat and lo-fi genres. The subject matter covers self-belief, self-doubt, love, the pace of life and loss. The closing track ‘I’ll See You Again’ has become a personal standout for me...

6) Katalyst – Nine Lives:

I wasn’t privy to this band until World Galaxy Records said to check this out via Bandcamp. ‘Nine Lives’ is a welcome addition to the ever-growing slate of contemporary west coast Jazz albums coming out. This album for me stays at quite an optimistic tone, although the pace varies here and there to allow for the whole band, but particularly the horn section to showcase their versatility. My favourites are ‘BBB’, ‘The Leimert Suite’ and ‘Fitted’...

5) Thundercat – It Is What It Is:

This album title is easily the most used phrase of 2020 and that was before the handling of the current pandemic (specifically in the West). ‘It Is What It Is’ continues in a similar vein to Thundercat’s previous work ‘Drunk’. The subject matter stays particularly quirky, touching on trying to impress a love/lust interest, friendship and acceptance to name a few. The first third of the album does hint at the more focused direction that Thundercat could move on to. There are still the odd short tracks that don’t quite feel fully fleshed out. This has been a grower for me...

4) Quelle Chris & Chris Keys – Innocent Country 2:

Quelle Chris returns with previous collaborator Chris Keys to bring us the second season of ‘Innocent Country’. This album is more about the production for me although (again) I’m feeling the bars, flows and features. I particularly enjoyed the celebration of black culture toward the mid-portion of the album...

3) Kev Choice – Social Distancing:

The effects of the current pandemic inspired musician/emcee Kev Choice to write, record and release this time capsule of a project in the space of a little less than four weeks! ‘Social Distancing’ documents disappointment in the government’s response to the virus (specifically in the states), panic shopping, the effects on families, the self-reflection that time alone at home has offered and messages of staying positive despite everything. Standouts for me are ‘Morning Prayer’, ‘Be Still’, ‘Take Me To Your Leaders’ and ‘Break Me Down’...

2) Derrick Hodge – COLOR OF NOIZE:

Freda had shared the music video of ‘Heartbeats’, which prompted me to check out this album. Although Hodge on bass is clearly running the show, ‘COLOR OF NOIZE’ features two pianists and two drummers throughout the project. The music for me is like going on a long walk, my thoughts and emotions ranging from guilty, to angry, ultimately to hopeful, all while not really paying attention to how my surroundings have changed until the end...

1) Butcher Brown – #KingButch:

While this might not necessarily be my favourite of the year, it was (probably) the one I revisited the most. The band’s Trumpeter and (kind of) frontman Marcus Tenney takes on a fair amount of pretty well delivered emceeing throughout ‘#KingButch’. The first third is a funk affair, easing into Jazz after the mellowed out ‘Gum In My Mouth’, those tinges of funk do come and go in the latter thirds though. This was another project I really enjoyed driving to. The closing track ‘IDK’ is one of my favourite tracks of the year...

Honourable Mentions:

Nathan Thomas – Still Water: ‘Another Futuristica release. This project is also on the soulful side but makes the guitar more present on a lot of the songs on here. I did think this would make the list but (as always) there ended up being projects I enjoyed more so...

Samii – Figuring it Out: The 2000Black camp bring singer/songwriter Samii to the forefront for this 4-track EP. Tatham, Mensah, Lord & Ranks bring their signature genre-bending sounds and chord progressions as per...

Mike Blankenship – Living For The Future: This was released in 2015...

Cherise – Paradise (EP): My unofficial favourite project of 2017 was ‘Trope’s 5ive’ by the band ‘Trope’, which Cherise (Adams-Burnett) fronts. So I was quite pleased to find that this had been released. Throughout this 4-track EP, Cherise vocalises over quite a romantic soulful piece, a fairly traditional acoustic track, a grandiose jazz piece, ending with a stripped down orchestral number. The opener is my favourite...

Tatham, Mensah, Lord & Ranks – 6th: 2000Black doing what they do and still doing it well...

Bree Runway – 2000AND4EVA: Bree Runway elevates to Pop star status with her debut high-energy mixtape. This project flows so well; from the head nod energy of ‘Apeshit’, into the burst of electric guitar on ‘Little Nokia’, bringing us back to the poppy hip-hop sounds of ‘ATM’ and beyond. Hopefully we can get our act together by the summer and the music on here can be played where it’s SUPPOSED to be!!!...

Nate Smith – Light and Shadow: While waiting for the release of the next ‘Kinfolk’ project, Nate Smith gives us this short, cinematic collection of pieces, those elements of Jazz, Soul and Hip-hop ever present in Smith’s drumming and all around production. I can play this whole thing through pretty easily...I wonder if this is my unofficial favourite of 2020?...  

Bluey – Tinted Sky: This is mostly more of the same from Bluey and (some of) the Incognito camp. I tend to like of a lot of the music they write and play. I do want to shout out the mid-portion of the album and Bluey’s disillusionment with how the UK has handled this pandemic so far was resonant...

Kamaal Williams – Wu Hen: The flow on this project is INSANE!!!! ‘Wu Hen’ realises what Kamaal Williams has been doing with his more recent live shows in such a coherent way!...

Andrew Ashong & Kaidi Tatham – Sankofa Season: Vocalist Andrew Ashong teams up with legend Kaidi Tatham on the music to give us a 30-minute project, covering looking back, love, positivity and encouragement for change...

My Studio Ghibli Movie Run

Anime was never an escape from reality but a dive deeper into it. My

Quarantine did come with its perk if you are willing to indulge yourself in new found favourites. As most of us who are home quarantined we are always on the run for what to indulge upon next. After much of viewing trailers and reading the short bio I decided to go for this Anime movie called 'Only Yesterday' and it left with a feeling one gets after a Murakami book only wanting for more. And it was only then I realised maybe this was what everyone else was talking about when they addressed Studio Ghibli. And thus began my Studio Ghibli Movie run where I was on an adventure to watch every single one of Studio Ghibli movie ever to be made. I started off by watching 2 movies a day for 4 consecutive days but it started having a bad effect on my sleep cycle, So I cut down on my run and sticked with 1 movie a day..  The trio of directors of Studio Ghibli each had their own way of directions however they were on the similar track of providing a movie that would inspire children to be humane and respect nature and tradition in the process of growing up. Studio Ghibli sees the modern world to rob a child of its inborn power to discover the mystic of nature with its power of imagination. Therefore we always see children as being the lead protagonists of their movies who according to the producers are the closest with Nature. Can we ever forget that Nature Rhyme in Princess Kaguya or how Mei and Satsuki from My neighbour Totoro befriended Totoro who returned love with nothing else but love or Haru from the Cat Returns whose one act of kindness to a kitten in her childhood saved her from the brutality of being stuck in the Cats kingdom for life? This reminds me of what Wordsworth stated in his Lyrical ballads 'Nature never did break the heart of the one's that truly loved her”. The  interpretations of these migh be multi layered, some might also find instances of the 18TH century Romantic ideology, however the foremost attraction to these movies has to be their non digitilised art. They even quoate it took them a month to create 12 minutes of the movie as they still depend upon their hand drawn art and maybe thats why they work best for the viewers. Studio Ghibli formally came into existence 1985 and was created by Tokuma Shoten who published "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Winds" in 1985.The locus of the production house Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata who were previously working Toei Animation, but together with Toshio Suzuki founded this production house.Miyazaki named the studio as Ghibli which was the name of the hot air that blew in the Sahara desert. This name was used by Italian military aircraft during the WW2.Miyazaki being an ardent lover of aircrafts named the same signifying a new wind that will blow in the Japanese animation industry. Owing to this love for aircrafts The Wind rises came out telling the story of Jiro the famous Japanese engineer. Human relationships are some of the many aspects these movies emphasis upon, while many viewers may view it as a romance where one finds their better half in the journey or the adventure that they embark upon however we find Miyazaki clearly stating that, Love as for Studio Ghibli never becomes the subject of their movies rather it is showcased in a platonic way where it starts from a strong sense of friendship which in the process may lead to a life time of companionship. Could Jiro ever design those beautiful aircrafts that he states as dreams without the support of Naoko? Could Chihiro have survived  the Spirit's world if it wasn't for Haku's dedicated friendship, could little Ponyo ever leave behind her life in the depths of the ocean or her powers if it wasn’t for the love and trust her first human friend Sosuke, or could  Taeko from Only yesterday actually understand that the thing that was attracting her to the country life was not just the open saffron fields but the people and warmth that she had never received from her life in Tokyo.The idea of a protagonist and antagonists is very thin in most Studio Ghibli movies, as far as my understanding they never define any character as entirely good or bad rather they make them flexible which has the capacity to evolve. Even the cruellest of the characters are backed by circumstances of past events that made them who they were. Maybe this one feature draws us to their movies where we are left to belief that every individual has an inert innocence in their hearts no matter what life circumstances made them into. Maybe that is what the sea pirates in Porco Rosso signified who nevertheless won the hearts of many or the witch from Howl’s Moving castle or Haru (the maid) from Arriety never were entirely addressed as wicked but we see how these characters turn to a more positive life. As per women always being the lead Miyazaki was asked of his fascination to which he jokingly replied 'I love women' but the movies clearly shows their deep cited respect for women. The leads as Miyazaki stated are ‘brave, self-sufficient girls who don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They will need a friend or a supporter but never a  saviour. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man’.

Be it Kiki who went out to discover the world on her own or Umi from, From up on the Poppy Hill who looked after her boarding house in the absence of her mother and still joined hands to fight against the demolition of the clubhouse with Shun.All these reasons fall short to describe the beauty of Studio Ghibli but above all what this movies do for us is give us Hope. Hope for a better tomorrow in a already beautiful world which has so much of abundance for the one willing to indulge upon. As for Hayao Miyazaki rightly quoted ‘Life is a winking light in the darkness’ and Ghibli movies are definite representation of Life in all its shade.

Survey #229

“goddamn, need some help, ‘cuz my girlfriend’s in love with someone else.”

What would you consider to be the worst television channel out there? Idk. I don't watch TV. Are you currently sitting on your bed or some other place? Where? I'm lying in my bed. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house? What kind? No. When was the last time you were somewhere that offered free Wi-Fi? Today/technically yesterday but w/e. My school offers it free, but the connection isn't strong. Do you know anyone who is on drugs? Are you personally on them? I mean, I know people with prescriptions of course. If you mean illicit drugs, yes. I don't take them. Name one interesting fact about yourself that people might not know about? Uhhhh I used to be a dancer. Do you ever have to write down a phone number to remember it, or not? Oh yeah, I don't even have my own phone number memorized. Who was the last person you talked to on an instant messaging service? Hm. Oh, Facebook says the friend of my sister whose wedding I shot. I did it like, two or three or so years ago and she wanted to know if I had the raw photos I took, and I'd literally JUST cleaned out my OneDrive a couple days ago, so they were deleted. Talk about bad timing. What color are your curtains? Are you satisfied with this color? Maroon. Yeah. Does your phone have texting? How many times a day do you text, estimate? Yeah, and I don't have a clue. Sara and I generally text all throughout the day. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Uhhh over a year ago or something. Was the only time. It was just a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. Do you think the media can further manipulate our teenagers anymore? Ohhhh, I'm sure it could get even worse. Who would you consider to be your favorite American Idol on the show? I've watched so little of that show. Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced? Does it look painful? I know two, off the top of my head. And I mean, a piercing is a needle shoved into your skin. It's obviously painful to a degree. I'd imagine the septum to be more painful than a lot considering the thick cartilage. Has anyone ever complimented you on your singing? Did you believe them? Yeah, and I dunno. I don't generally like my singing voice, but I think I sing some songs okay. Do you know someone who constantly tries to embarrass you on all occasions? Omg no, I could never handle someone like that with how poorly I handle embarrassment. Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain? Did it seem romantic at the time? Yeah, and I guess, only really because it's an "accepted" thing as romantic. Something you're taught young. What is one part on your body that hurts at this moment, if anything? Nothing, at the moment. What was the last song you listened to? Did you enjoy this song? This metal medley I adore of Shadow of the Colossus pieces is on rn. What is your heritage? Do you have a bunch of mixed heritages? German, Irish, and Polish. When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? I didn't really *listen* to it, but some ass was blaring his rap music in FYS today. Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? NO, do NOT. That shit is noooot a joke. People have died. Do you ever countdown to anything? Not really, at least not seriously. Who was the last person to visit your house besides family? A friend of mine and Mom's, Randy. My rat Mitsu apparently fell or something, and her teeth were knocked crooked, and they became grossly overgrown and had to be clipped. He works at a wildlife rehab clinic and is overall just real experienced with animals. It was so awful though, seeing her like that. He's coming over about once a month now to keep them clipped; he's quite sure she has... damn, what was it? Metabolic bone disease (very common in rats), I think, that will push her teeth to keep growing. I can't remember exactly what he said, but. Are you allowed to watch rated R movies? I'm... nearing 24, lmao. How many bedrooms are in your house? Two. Do you see more of your mom or dad’s side of the family more? Mom's. I see both very rarely since they live states away, but yeah, Mom's. I haven't seen anyone in Dad's fam since I was a little kid. Are there any tattoos that you really want to get? lol got a few hours to talk? Do you really believe that everyone has a soul mate? Definitely not. You are compatible with sooooo many people. Do alligators scare you? I mean I wouldn't walk in front of one or anything, but as animals themselves, no. I think they're cool as fuck. Dinosaurs, man. Do you have abs? *ugly wheezing laughter* Have you ever been in detention? Twice I think, but only for too many tardies arriving at school. Do you believe in vampires? Uh no. Can you play the guitar? Not anymore. Have you ever kissed someone while they were dating someone else? Wow, no. Do you like hot dogs? Sadly. Are glasses a turn on or turn off for you? I don't care. Do you have a hot tub? Darling we poor. Would you ever try one of those dating websites? I like to pretend that one time NEVER fucking happened. I very much doubt I would again. Do you like to be tickled? Ew no don't. When’s the last time you flew a kite? Not since I was little. Do you ever take a bath and eat food at the same time? ... Does anyone do that?? Do you hate long surveys? No, I prefer them. I just do them over time. Gives me something to do... and I also don't spam where I share them. Do you like the taste of blood? UM no. Has anyone ever given you flowers? Yeah. When was the last time you swam in a lake? Wowie, I couldn't possibly guess. Who was the first friend you made in Junior High? That's a good question. Maybe Hannia? If you could learn any language, what would it be? GERMAN. I wanna be fluent. When was the last time someone asked you your age? Uhhh idk. Have you ever been on a train? No. Has anyone ever tried to physically fight you? No, but one girl literally told me she almost punched me. I used to hate her more than anyone in the world because she's Jason's ex and really hurt him, and yet now we're friends, lmao. Oh, how things can change. When was the last time you were angry? Last night because my headache wouldn't fuck off. What’s your worst subject in school? Math. I'm failing like, badly. What’s your favorite genre of music? Metal. Have you ever been called too skinny? OH MOST DEFINITELY NOT. Do you prefer analog or digital clocks? Analog clocks are way more aesthetically pleasing, but digital are more convenient. Do you have any stickers decorating your computer? Bruh I have tape, get on my fckng level. Tell me about the last nightmare you remember having. It was about seeing my grandma, who's really beginning to suffer from her chemo. What snacks do you usually get at the cinemas? Popcorn and a drink, then rarely a candy. Usually Sour Patch Kids. What scent is the deodorant you use? That's. A good question. I haven't payed attention. What did you last receive in the mail? The book Sara sent me. What is your favorite kind of fruit? Strawberries. How far away do you live from your place of birth? Like... 10-ish minutes? Have you ever been in a police car? Only when being transferred from the ER to psyche hospitals. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I draw a line through them. Or circle them. Depends on the font and size, really. Have you ever sewn something? Idk how to sew. Name a CD you have or one you would like to have. Ha ha, the very first CD I personally bought was the "You're Awful, I Love You" album by Ludo. When I knew like, only three songs, ahaha. Have you ever watched an episode of Barney? I loved him as a kid, so, y'know. Can you name more than five U.S. presidents? Yeah, but I definitely don't know a lot. Are any of your neighbors’ yards in desperate need of a grass cutting? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yessir. What does your mother’s wallet look like? What about your dad’s? Idk. I don't pay attention to Mom's and I very rarely see Dad. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom and one of my school advisors. And people who walked into the library. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? He may still want to be, idk. It doesn't matter though. Does your ex hate you? The only ex I have that I think might is Jason. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to? Girt. Does anyone call you babe? Sara sometimes. Is your school’s mascot an animal? Yes. All my schools' were, lol. What would happen if you were stuck in an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest for? I don't want to imagine it. Do you think that hair extensions and colored contacts make a person fake? Oh my god. Where do your hands go during kissing? I mean that. Depends. Generally just around a person's sides. Conservative or liberal? I'm such a mix. Do you have unlimited texting? Ye. Were you ever in the spelling bee? Never been a part of one. Do you dress suggestively? No. A very explicit song you’ve listened to recently? Ahaha, "Love Rhymes With Fuck You" by Jeffree Star is on right now and it is. Intense. When did you last see someone you know in public? Errrrr good question. Do you think you’d survive if zombies took over the world? Hell no. If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? The meerkat RP I've done since I was 10. My friends and I have made novels upon novels worth of stories. Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? No. Are you an impatient person? YEP!!!!!!!!! Are you afraid to watch movies that have sex scenes with your friends? Friends, no. It's awkward with family, though. Who sings the last song you listened to? Jeffree Star. Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? No, other than being a blind mfkr. Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes. Don't have one as I don't really care for it. Do you have sensitive teeth? Yes. Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? Nah. And I mean at the dentist they numb you, so not really. When did you last talk seriously with one of your parents? I have no clue. Does anyone ever say they miss you often? Sara. I mean we talk all the time, but she means like, physically being there. Would you rather become a wizard or a vampire, if you had the choice? Idk. I like vampires more, but a wizard sounds funner. Have you already moved out of your parents’ house? I've talked about the apartment situation enough. Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Divorced. Have you ever thought you might just have obsessive compulsive disorder? I'm diagnosed with it. Do you think it’s rude to text someone else while on a date? YEAH. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? White Chicks never fails to get me. Has one of your websites ever quit operating or shut down? Were you sad? Recently the site I used to upload large .gifs I needed to use online shut down & I'm still mega tilted. There's probably others. Who is the person you talk to the most in your house? I only live with my mom. Is there a television show out there that you never miss? No. What movie have you seen too many times to be healthy? Ha ha, The Lion King I & 2 and Finding Nemo. What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Take care of my pets. How cold did it get where you live, last winter? Idr. Very, for NC anyway. Do you ever wonder what your exes are doing? I only ever wonder about Jason. Have you ever been caught in a huge lie with your parents? Never told a biggie lie to 'em. Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? No. Are you sober at the time being? Yeah. Have you ever lied to someone & said they could sing when they couldn’t? Possibly? Are you more tolerant of hot or cold weather? Describe a time when you were extremely cold? Describe a time when you were extremely over-heated? I handle the cold far, FAR better. I physically cannot last very long in like, even 80 degrees. The coldest I've probably ever been was when Sara and I were walking once up at her house and it was really windy. I think the absolute most over-heated I've been was when I was taking bridal shots of my sister's friend outside in the summer for a long long time. I was nearly to the point of tears and was absolutely soaked in sweat. When we got back in the car, I literally finished at least three water bottles in a very short period of time. I think I even downed half of another. What was something weird that you did as a child? Did anyone make fun of you for it? Were there any other children you knew who did the same thing? I actually created this trend in elementary school of digging tunnels in the sandbox with my hands because I wanted to feel like a meerkat, lol. No one made fun of me, I think? And as stated it kinda became a thing, so yeah, there were others. What has been the hardest thing about growing up? What was the easiest thing about it? Was there ever a time when you wanted to stay young forever? Was there ever a time when you wished that you could be older? Accepting my mental illnesses was by far the hardest. Easiest, uh... idk. Enjoying more freedom? There was definitely a time I wanted to be a kid forever; I remember I criiiied when I got my period for the first time because I didn't feel like one anymore. Simultaneously, there were certainly times I wanted to be older. Who was the last person you yelled at? Do you often yell at this person? Are you on good terms with them again, or are you still upset with them? I practically roared at Mom for pulling the rudest shit on me like a month or so back. I definitely don't yell at her a lot. We're on good terms now, yeah. If you work, do you get along with your coworkers? Which one of them have you known the longest? Is your current place of work somewhere that you plan to stay for a long time? Sadly no, so these questions are N/A. Name three items that have much sentimental value to you. Who gave you these items, and for what occasion? Do you ever have a harder time throwing away things that people have given you? My pebble from Holly Hill, my childhood plush moose Brownie that I got in Ohio, and the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. It's not really because of it being from him, but rather because it comforted me deeply after the break-up. The little guy is so worn from all the love I gave it. I do have a hard time getting rid of things people give me. Who do you speak with more often: your online friends, or those that you see face-to-face? Of which type of friend do you have more? Which of those friendships do you value the most? Online to all three questions. Are you often misunderstood, or do you think that people can get where you are coming from pretty well? Do you think that you have a good ability to understand others? If yes, explain? Eh, idk, really. I feel like I don't communicate how I feel well enough, but I think people understand me decently. Most, anyway. I know I'm pretty good and relating to people. When was the last time that you had a headache? What did you do, if anything, to help it feel better? Which is worse for you: headaches or stomach aches? As previously mentioned, last night. I took medicine, but it was sleep that actually helped. AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH STOMACH ACHES. Gimme a headache over that shit any day. Have you ever had a crush on someone you met online? If yes, what happened between you and that person? Do you think that online relationships are legitimate relationships? Yes, and we're dating now lol. And of course I do!! Out of all of your past friendships and romantic relationships, which one was the worst? If that person were to show up at your place, would you be willing to talk to them? Friendship: Colleen. No, I wouldn't talk to her. Romantic: Tyler, but I mean sure, I'd talk to him. Well, Jason was the traumatic one, but the *relationship*, on my end, was a fairytale. It was the breakup that was... yeah, y'all know. Yeah, I'd be willing to talk to him, but quite honestly I'd probably end up collapsing into a sobbing heap because yeah PTSD. If any, how many friends have you made in the past year? How many have you lost? Is making friends something at which you are good, or does it take you awhile to form friendships? I've made a couple friends online, and I lost none, I think anyway. I can be someone's friend very easily, but it's the trust that really takes a while. If you are 18 or older, did reaching your 18th birthday make you feel like you were an adult? If not, what moment (or moments) made you feel like you were finally maturing? I don't remember, honestly. As a kid, did your parents force you to eat everything on your plate? If you had them, how did you feel about family meal times? If you were to have children, would you have structured meals with them? Well, Mom tried, but my picky ass usually won, lol. Some days I miss family dinners, other days I'm glad to do my own thing. If I were to have kids, I'd probably want to have family dinners, really. What was the last new thing that you tried? What is something you did a long time ago that you might like to do again? I don't know. I don't try new things often. From my past... I dunno. It's too late to think of all this stuff. What is your least favorite part about going to the doctor? What about going to the dentist? Which of those people would you rather see? THE GODDAMN WAIT. My dentist is usually pretty quick, so that's not typically a problem there. Instead, I fucking hate when I have to get x-rays done because I have a very small mouth, and the things they stick in your cheeks to bite down on are always way too big for me. I have to use a size down from adults. Do you ever take care of anyone younger than you (ie. babysitting, watching a younger sibling, etc)? Do you like doing this, or does it get to be a hassle? No, and hell no.

Give me a word that rhymes with your first name: Bethany.  If you were in a band, which instrument would you like to play in it? Piano. I’d have to really start practicing again, though...  Which do you find more intriguing: the past or the future? I’m stuck in the past. How did you find out exactly where it is that babies come from? I don’t remember exactly.  Who, in your opinion, is the most gorgeous person on Earth? I think my mom is. I’m totally envious of the fact I didn’t inherit her flawless skin.

Did you wake up to a text from anybody today? No. Describe your perfect 3-course dinner: (starter, main, desert and drink) starter: Bread  and olive oil with vinegar to dip. main: Pasta with pesto. desert: Red velvet cake. drink: Coffee. Do you find parodies of songs funny? I used to think some of Weird Al’s parodies were funny. What is your favourite song by Lady Gaga? Million Reasons.  If you could have any pet in the world, what would you have? If it were legal and I lived on acres of land with the means to take care of one, I’d love to have a giraffe.  What’s a combination of two colours that you like? I love pastel colors together.  Are you a good speller? Yeah. This or That Blondes or brunettes? Apples or oranges? Stay in or go out?  Day or night? Alcoholic or non-alcoholic? Tea or coffee? Comedy or drama? Television or computer? Kiss or hug? <<< Depends. Colour or black and white? Darwinism or creationism?  Right wing or left wing? Silence or noise? <<< I don’t like complete silence, but I don’t need it loud noises either. I just like something, which is why I always have the TV on for background noise at least. Texting or calling? True or False? I am a male- False. I like dance music- True. I like upbeat music to bop my head to, ha. I have brown eyes- True. It’s the summer- True. Unfortunately. I am single- True af. I have been raped- False. I love my friends- I just have my family, and yes I love them.  I threw up last time I was drunk- True, ugh.  I miss somebody right now- Always true. I think a lot before I go to sleep- Trueee. The only thing I seem to do is eat- Definitely true lately. I think that war is a terrible thing- True. I don’t know if anyone thinks it’s great. There is a certain celebrity I find very attractive- True. Ya’ll already know. I have taken a bus in the past week- False. You: What’s your full name? Stephanie. What’s your date of birth? July 28th 1989. What colour is your hair? Naturally dark brown, but I dye it red.. What colour are your eyes? Brown. In which city do you live? I'm from California. That's all you get. Do you have any siblings? Yes, 2 brothers. Do you get on with your parents? Yes. How tall are you? 5'4. Do you currently have a job? No. Are you overweight, underweight or neither? Definitely underweight.  Describe a typical outfit you’d wear: Leggings and a graphic T.  What are your interests? Spending time with my family, Tumblr/surveys, watching TV/movies, YouTube, reading, coloring, sleeping. Do you have any hobbies? ^^^ Why are you taking this survey? Because. Can you… …draw? …dance? …sing? …read? …write? <<< I can write, yes. ha. But seriously, I was told by teachers I could write and I used to like to write short stories when I was younger. I haven’t written anything since I’ve been out of school, though. I’m sure I suck now. …fight? …tie a knot in a cherry stick? …make people laugh easily? …play any instruments? …hide your feelings well? …hold back on your opinion? …give lovebites? …be manipulative? …think, quickly? Your Past. Did you go through any embarrassing phases? Oh yeah. What colours have your hair been? Dark brown (my natural color), blonde highlights, black, and red. What kind of clothes did you wear? When? Did you do anything you regret? I have a lot of regrets. :/ Did you do anything you’re pleased you did? Yeah. Were you much different from how you are now? Yes. What was your favourite song when you were little? How little are we talking? As a kid I was obsessed with Barney songs and other common nursery rhymes.  Take me through a nice memory of yours: Trips to Disneyland. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16.  How old were you when you had your first relationship? 16. Did you ever think you’d turn out how you have? No. :/ What were some interests you used to have that you don’t now? I used to have a social life once upon a time. Did you like school? Overall. Did you have any crushes on celebrities? Yeah. Your Present. What room are you in? My room. Are you wearing any make-up? Nope. What else are you wearing? Leggings, shirt, socks. Are you in a relationship? No. Is anybody speaking to you? (online or in the real world) Not at the moment. Are you listening to music? No. What are you thinking about? That asiago pasta salad in the fridge, ha. Who would you like to see right now? I’m good. Is the TV on? Yeah. Is anything annoying you? It’s hot. How are you temperature-wise? Hot. What kind of emotions are you currently experiencing? I’m really tired. Is your hair up or down? It’s in a side braid. Where is your mother? At work. Your Future: What job do you want to have? I don’t know. Describe the home you want to live in: A home near the beach. Where in the world do you want to live? I’m not sure, yet. I like it in California, just not this city. I’d possibly be open to another state entirely, though. *shrug* Is marriage a possibility? I don’t see it happening for me. How about kids? I don’t see that happening either. How many kids would you want? Any names that you may just name them with? Do you want any pets? I’ll always have a dog(s). Do you worry about how you will look when you’re older? I already don’t like how I look now. Will you try to stay youthful for as long as possible? I’d like to. What will you think when you look back on your current self? Yikes. How old would you say you act? I don’t know. I feel stunted sometimes in a way. Like, I feel old, but also not? It’s wild that I’m almost 30.  Any piercings or tattoos? My earlobes are pierced and I’m good with just that. Ever get really hungry in the middle of the night? Always, which is why I eat something before bed. I always have a bowl of Ramen.  Are you considered an attractive person by others? No. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight. How do you act when you’re drunk? I was the chatty, annoying one.  Do you enjoy the feeling of being intoxicated? Sometimes I did, for a little while. The good feeling was short lived, though. I ended up feeling crappy and sad most of the time. Describe your perfect day: A day at the beach. What is one thing you could never live without? Coffee. Who is one person you could never live about? My mom. Where is your phone? Next to me on my bed.

Type MMO Plays Pretty Well On Console.

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On Writing Child Characters

So someone in a Discord chat I’m in asked for some advice on how they could get more in character when writing a young child. 

A lot of media tends to depict children as either really obnoxious, or basically just small, slightly less mature adults, and neither is really completely right. While there’s really no specifically right way to write a child character, I have some things I always keep in mind whenever I sprinkle children in my own written works that I feel may be helpful to other people.

How did they grown up? 

Just like with any character, considering their home life, family, and friends will tell you a lot about how they may act and where their behavior comes from. A child from a loving/open home that nurtures their personality and allows them to grow will probably be more outgoing. A child raised by strict, cold, or even abusive parents may opt for being quieter, shy, more dependent on their parents. The behavior of the parents or guardian will definitely reflect in the child’s personality, as children look to their parents as role models.

Did they have a lot of childhood playmates? Pets? Or did they have to resort to things like movies/TV and books to make up for feeling alone or for having few friends? Friends or pets from childhood may bring happy memories and further promote their growth, while the lack thereof might promote a more distant or lonely personality, or even a child who is obnoxious in an attempt to draw attention to themself.

What makes them happy? 

Legit, every single kid has Their Thing, no matter how old they are. They are ALWAYS happy to talk about it, play pretend with it, draw, write, etc. Some kids are more shy about showing it if they've been dismissed by a friend or family member, but others are open with it to the point where everyone knows it. 

I personally have a cousin, who's twelve, and she talks on and on about Minecraft. She’s a budding artist who draws pictures of the game's animals/characters, often adding her own personal touches to them. My other cousin originally loved angry birds, but has now he's moved onto the Detroit Lions. He collects merchandise, catches every game, and knows every scrap of sports terminology to the point where when he talks about it, it sounds like another language.

What do they dislike?

Everyone has something they seriously cannot stand, whether it's a fear or just "Ew, Brussels sprouts!" While an adult would say, "I don't like that," kids tend to be more expressive and vocal about their distastes. Depending on the kid’s personality, they'll react differently and it’s something I think it's important to consider.

One might stomp or yell or scream and run away, another will be polite about it or very matter-of-fact in how much they don’t like it. Others may brag about how terrible or gross something is, or hide the thing they hate.

Please Don't Do The "What's Sex?" Joke Thing 

I really wish people would stop doing this. 

I see this a lot in writing and roleplay, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. If you’ve never seen it or aren’t sure what I mean, I’m talking the moment where the eight year old walks in on their parents, who are talking about sexual innuendos, and asks what they’re talking about. 99% of younger children genuinely don't care or just think the names of bits are funny ("Haha you said boobies" "Haha butts"). 

Think back to your own childhood. There's a reason all those adult jokes in movies and TV soared over our heads when we were younger. We didn't understand them nor care and just kept going. We pick up on them heavily as adults, as we’re more familiar with them and more, but we simply don’t focus on them in our younger years since we ignore the confusing line for what we found funny. It's adult stuff and boring and what we like/want to do matters more than that. 

What makes them laugh?

If anyone else has been around kids extensively, you’ve probably noticed that they bond so easily to you if you do things that they find funny (or exciting, fun, or cool. It's not difficult to make friends with kids if you respect them, but I digress). 

A lot of simple, quick-witted or blunt jokes from come off as absolutely hysterical, and will stick like glue. Some things I personally found exceptionally funny were slapstick, silly things you wouldn’t expect to happen in the situation, and toilet jokes (because haha poop).

It's pretty easy to make kids laugh, all in all. They might recite a joke they found funny to many, many other people because it makes them laugh so much. They may try to surf off the hilarity of the joke and make a similar, but ultimately failure copy as the process of why it’s funny is often lost. Kids tend to be not very good at making their own jokes from scratch, or at least they aren’t often funny in the way they meant them to be. 

(That said I want this one to hang immortalized on my wall.)

If a child has been abused or treated badly, they may not recognize it as such 

There's a surprising amount of people (myself included, unfortunately) who only just realized as they became adults that how they grew up was not normal, and that how their caretaker or friend or family member treated them wasn't okay. 

Children growing up typically look to their parents for guidance on how the world works. Normally this is fine. But when you were born and raised in a more hostile environment, you straight up don't realize that your situation is not the way other kids live. You normalize it because, well, you don't know better by no fault of your own. 

It feels like a pretty common thing on the Tumbles to see abused children in roleplay or writing immediately going, "My parent is abusive and I hate them," and perhaps in some cases that happens. But it seems to be more common for children to be willing to forgive their family because they're family. As they age it might become vastly different as they process what's happened to them. 

However, the younger they are, the higher the likelihood that they don't want to leave the people they grew up with. It's a familiar environment and they love their family despite everything. That, and new people, places, and things can be scary to a younger child.

How do they express themself and their passion? 

Looping back to likes and dislikes again: 

Kids are often way, WAY more expressive than any adult. Usually because they've been allowed to roam free with their imaginations and their freedom of expression. They love a wide variety of things, but they express them in often more vibrant ways. 

For example, when asked why they like dragons, an adult might respond, "They're elegant, scary, metaphorical, the designs are beautiful, etc." 

A kid who loves dragons might pretend to be one, making sound effects while they stomp around flapping their arms. When asked why they like dragons, they might say, "They blow fire and they eat people and they're green and this one time i was watching The Hobbit and Smaug was like--" 

A high energy kid may love sports or running, might be a bed jumper or love to play pretend. A quiet kid may love reading or writing and be great at reciting facts about what they read. 

(Kids seem to love reciting facts in general, honestly. It’s fun to show off knowledge.)

One who likes bugs or frogs might collect them in containers to play with, or gross out their friends with a surprise frog in their hands because they think it's hilarious. One who loves singing may be into musicals/plays and performing arts, and may straight up sing or hum whenever they please.

Kids are so morbid 

Listen, I know everyone loves to be like, "Kids are so pure and must be protected," but when I was growing up there were at least three different Barney murder songs (among other horrible rhymes and tunes) that would cycle through out ears and out our mouths. Haha, Barney is for babies and he gets dead.

Honestly it was hilarious. It’s still hilarious.

My guess is that kids are curious about things we think of as "unsavory" topics; death, violence, gross-out stuff, war, predatory animals hunting down their prey, natural disasters, all that good stuff. 

Adults often try to not bring up these particular topics, whether because it’s sensitive, heavy, or they don’t know how to answer it. Which...only makes the taste of forbidden knowledge that much sweeter. You're not supposed to talk about it, so of course they're all gonna talk about it when the adults aren't watching.

Late night Llamas With Hats. Haha, he got stabbed 37 times in the chest.

Kids are spontaneous and goofy 

One of the things about "lol randoom XD tacos" humor that draws in the younger crowd is that you don't expect what's coming next. The protagonist shouldn’t be stepping on ducks. The situation doesn’t call for a musical number, but there it is.

It's always good to consider how playful and silly your child character is, especially if they're on the younger side, since that tends to be when most kids are filled with that boundless energy to do things. They’re are louder than they intend to be, love games and play pretend (which I mention a lot but I've never met a kid who didn't love pretending to be giant monsters or superheroes. My cousins loved Horrible Water Zombies: The Revenge). 

Me personally, I used to keep notebooks and draw really weird things. When I was thirteen I had a character whose favorite pastimes were, and I quote, “smashing watermelons on the mayor’s house and falling off cliffs.”

One of my cousins will literally walk up to me and say the most off the wall things. On one occasion, he just walked up, looked at me, then squatted while making some weird mumbling noise. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me, "Bulgarian Spit-Squats," and did that for like twenty minutes straight.

Acceptance and learning with kids 

I think a lot of people write children off as "dumb kids" but they will take a surprising amount in their stride and learn ridiculously quick.

True, children can also be cruel if they don't know any different. Like all people can succumb to mob mentality, not know to pull their punches, or know what words or actions have serious consequences. Most kids politely told right from wrong or talked to with respect instead of being just yelled at do change their behavior. Often quicker and easier than adults do.

When spoken to calmly and patiently and a good explanation of disability, disfigurement, why someone looks or acts the way they do, or why they have this tool or that tool to get around, kids will just accept it for what it is. And after learning about it, they might even start fact parroting, telling others what they've learned or telling them off when an adult says something bad. 

"No, Mom. It's because they have [disability] and that's why they [thing]."

I've heard lots of stories of kids doing this when told someone is gay or trans too, where they're quick to tell off adults who get nasty with those topics or correct them on someone's pronouns. Society has yet to imprint on them that these things are bad.

What do they want to be when they grow up? 

Lots of kids are excited to grow up and do the cool job they really really like. Doctor and policeman and firefighter seem to be the "common" responses since those are obligatory "helps people" and "exciting hero". 

But a child with a passion for something specific may be like, "I wanna be a marine biologist," "I want to be a painter," "I want to be like the guy on TV who talks about wildlife." It's also not uncommon to hear about a really specific or little known job that they've spent hours reading about. Oftentimes when sharing this info with adults they share it proudly and with enthusiasm, because at that point kids don't realize the misery of jobs they can't wait to walk in the footsteps of their heroes who are doing these cool things. 

There's also the kids who answer that with, "I'm gonna be a dinosaur," which sounds like a joke to us, but most of them truly believe if they work harder at pretending to be a dinosaur, they can achieve that. Later on those kids end up discouraged by learning that’s not possible. 

(I’m still disappointed.)