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blanketorghost · 11 days

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A taste of Something New (Pt. 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The new taste is heartbreak, actually <3

This third one was supposed to have the resolution included but I realized this chapter was already 3000 words, also the last part is written in both Azul and Yuu's perspectives so perchance it is best that its separate from this one. Anyways stay tuned for the fourth maybe fifth parts. I may take less than a whole six months this time to write it!

Summary: Against his better judgement, Yuu wants to bring Azul a meaningful souvenir from the scalding sands.

Pairing: Yuu Fujisaki x Azul Ashengrotto (one-sided?), Azul Ashengrotto x Jamil Viper (implied, one-sided)

Timeline: During/Post Al'ab Narya and Ch. 4. Pre Ch. 5

Notes: Azul may be OOC? Have never been good at writing him convincingly imho

—

With a pep in his step and a nervous smile, Yuu exited the light music club. He'd mulled over it in class, planned his speech during lunch, and agonized over the details after school. He didn't even play anything during club time, even after an eternity of Kalim whining and goading him to join in with the rest of the members.

The light music club was just right across the board game club, and even if he would've spent time in there anyway, today all he could do was anxiously look at the slightly ajar door a few steps away. Would it be too weird if he just came in and gave him the book?

Yeah... definitely.

Honestly, the best option here was to just hand it to him after club session's over. He just needed to casually greet him and give him the book as the guise of a souvenir. He could explain the details later.

But what if he came out with a friend? He didn't really trust on his guts enough to think he could give him the gift then, he'd have to brainstorm new possibilities for encounter.

He clutches the piece tightly against his chest, wrapping paper crinkling to his touch.

"Wat'cha looking at, Yuu-chan?"

Cater's voice takes him out of his trance, rudely interrupting that vicious cycle of what-ifs and but-thens he'd already crafted in his brain about optimal gift-giving times.

"Oh, uhm..." He hides the package under his blazer and looks at the ground, hoping to find a good excuse inside the cracks on the floor. "I needed to ask for Azul's help for something about the gourmet club. I was hoping if I gave him something in return, he might say yes more easily."

"Really? Well, good luck with that." Cater raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "I've heard around the grapevine that Azul-kun's been super stingy about creating his famous contracts now. It's a shame. I was totes hoping we could do some sponsorship deal where I advertised the lounge on Magicam for free meals..."

"Huh. I guess he really turned a whole new leaf with that whole..." Yuu trails off as he smiles in spite of himself. He wasn't very sure that that was the reason Azul had stopped, but he could at least pretend maybe he had caused a positive change. A bit of wishful thinking never hurts anybody. "Never mind, I mean- Thanks for the warning. But I think he would be really interested in what I have to offer." He waves Cater off.

"Well, I mean, if you wanna you can use the points I've been saving up at the lounge to get a meeting, I honestly get them mostly for the discounts on seasonal meals, but I don't min-"

"Oh, I already have enough points for a meeting." Yuu takes his loyalty card from his pocket. Usually, he used the points to get some tutoring sessions for Grim or get him a study guide. It was convenient, and Azul's teaching method was the only one that actually worked. Yet, he had decidedly started to save up for a private meeting right before the City of Silk trip. He knew Azul was busy and stingy with his time, but if all other attempts to talk to him failed, he had to at least hear him out If he used his points, right?

"Aw, you're all prepared and everything! Gotta give it to Yuu to always be one step ahead." Cater gives him a smile, then checks his phone and sighs, cheerful demeanor diminishing slightly. "Welp. I gotta go to my dorm now. It's my turn to feed the flamingos. Good luck with your Gourmet Club business stuff!"

"Yeah, thanks." Yuu waves at all the members of the light music club, and, one by one, the classroom was left empty.

It feels like an eternity before the classroom adjacent to him opens its door, and he waits and waits for the students inside to tidy up and put back everything in their shelves until finally, the members of the Board Game Club also say their goodbyes for the day.

He could hear someone ranting inside the classroom to seeminly no one in particular, some students groaning or shaking their heads as they left the room. Some time later, Azul's voice rises through the chatter to retort to that one ranting, most likely. He scans the crowd until he finally sees a white tuft of hair exit from the room, black gloved hand raising to say his goodbyes to the people that were still inside.

He was always so outwardly nice and polite, he really just had a way of charming people, really. If only he used that power of his for better purposes... still, he couldn't deny the fact that that scheming was also attractive. Very much so, in fact. There was a reason why Yuu ended up falling for him so fast, after all.

“Yuu-san?” Yuu doesn't even notice when Azul turns to see him, his eyebrows arching in surprise.

“Ah- Uh– Azul-” He can barely string out a coherent sentence as he scrambles to hide the package behind his back— wait, what was he doing?! “I just… wanted to say hi.”

“Well then, hi.” Azul flashes him a smile. “It's nice to see you. Perhaps we could talk more at length later, though. I have to get the lounge ready for openin-—”

“Wait!”

Oh dear, that came out louder than what he intended.

Yuu clears his throat, taking a second to look down at the floor to compose himself. “Can't you spare a couple of minutes? It won't take long.”

“I'm sorry, Yuu-san. But I need to help Floyd prep the ingredients for today's menu and make sure Jade doesn't tamper with any of them, I'm sure you understand.”

“I see…”

“If you want, though, I could maybe clear up some time later?”

“I was actually hoping we could meet today… If you have time.” It's like Yuu's body was working on its own, completely overriding the script he'd had so carefully prepared. He was supposed to just give him the gift. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

Oh dear sevens, now he was making things sound way more serious than needed. Just give him the gift already!

“Ah.” … Did Azul just blush right now? Maybe he was seeing things. “I think I am free, but I'll ask Jade to schedule you.” He purses his lips. “I'll… Send you a text with the details later this evening.”

“Alright.” Yuu holds his breath as he hands Azul the card, who then rips it in half to signify it's been redeemed. “I’ll… Be waiting, then.”

With that, Azul flashes him another small smile and nods.”I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah… see you later.”

Azul gives Yuu a small wave as he walks away, looking back just once to examine him before turning his heel towards the hallway at the left. And when Azul is out of view, he feels his nerves give out just a little bit…

just a little.

...

What... was he thinking?!

In his panic, he had used up what was supposed to be his hail mary. Sure, Azul was a busy guy and maybe he wouldn't be able to talk to him in a couple of days, but the recipe book could wait!

Giving the book to him after club activities was just a first option, he could've come up with others later. Save his points too!

Ugh, he really needed to learn not to blank when being alone with Azul.

It’s only 5:00 PM when Yuu receives that fabled message from Azul. 6:00 to 7:00 PM.

Huh, he thought meetings were only supposed to last 15 minutes. Perhaps Azul was feeling generous today. He wouldn’t be needing all that time, though.

Still, Yuu felt one hour to prepare was nearly not enough. Now that his initial courage waned after his first failed attempt, all he could feel was a growing pit in his stomach as he got ready. He didn’t want to keep Azul waiting, though. And before he knew it, he was already at the door of Mostro Lounge. Five minutes early, too.

“Good evening, Yuu. Here for your meeting?” Jade bows as he approaches, and Yuu reflexively bows to him as well. “I hope your conversation is productive.”

“Ah… yeah. Is Azul still in a meeting? I can wait if need be.”

“Oh, not really. Azul only accepted your request for today. You’re the only client he’ll be seeing.” Jade gives him a wide, closed-eyed smile. If his aim was to soothe him, it had the exact opposite effect on Yuu, getting a small jolt of adrenaline course through his body when he bares witness to that creepy grin of his. “In fact, you can go in now, if you’d like.”

“... Right.” Yuu slowly nods and starts walking towards the door, allowing Jade to open it for him. It’s not like the VIP lounge was an unfamiliar sight. In fact, he often found himself hanging out with Azul there, doing homework or chatting the afternoon away while Azul filled out some paperwork. It was a pleasant, quiet environment. Something Yuu severely lacked in his daily life.

As soon as the door opens, Azul looks up from his desk and smiles, lowering his right hand and placing his pen down. “Yuu-san. You’re early.” He states, then uses his left hand to gesture at the chair in front of him. “Take a seat. Do you mind if I continue working while we talk?”

“Hi…” Yuu gives his crush a sheepish smile as he walks over, Jade closing the door behind him. As he sits down, he can now feel a paradoxical heat irradiate from his chest. Wasn’t he just feeling chills before? “And no, of course not. Please continue.”

“Thank you. How was your weekend? Jade mentioned that you and some other students went to a festival.”

“Oh, yeah. Kalim-kun invited us to the firelit festival at his hometown. The Silk City at the Scalding Sands.” Yuu explains, trying to get more comfortable in the leather-bound chair. It usually felt so plush, but now he couldn’t seem to find a good, comfortable position. “Viper showed us around town.”

"So I trust you had a pleasant trip, then?" Azul lifts his head up from his papers and flashes another friendly smile.

It took Yuu weeks of careful observation and millions of failed attempts to discern a genuine smile from Azul Ashengrotto. But once he got that first laugh, that first smirk or chortle, he committed it to memory. It wasn't too different from his all-business one— he still crinkled his eyes and kept his mouth shut. But there was a way in which his lips curled outwards too much, and his brows furrowed ever so slightly when he would pretend.

He was glad Azul would naturally smile more around him.

"It was very fruitful," Yuu leaves the package on his lap, and leans forward. He rests his chin on the back of his palm as he glances at Azul's writing. "Can I ask what you're working on today?"

"You can, and I'm just taking some notes after receiving the most recent customer reviews." Azul keeps smiling as he resumes scribbling at the margins of what Yuu can now see are printed out screenshots of some website. "What brings you here today? If you're looking for a position, permanent or temporary, I unfortunately have no spots open right now."

"Pity." Yuu hums as he eyes some of the comments. The amount of hate had certainly decreased in the months after his overblots. "I could help with accounting if you'd like. I used to do that sometimes."

"I've got that covered. I actually quite enjoy doing the math myself." Azul's smile turns into a small smirk. Cute know-it-all pout included. "I really do mean it when I say I have no spots today. It's a shame, though. I do enjoy you being around the lounge."

Right there, Yuu's heart does a flip.

"Thank you. But actually, that's not the only reason I'm coming here today." He would've liked to. If anything, most of Yuu's time was spent thinking up excuses to come to the lounge more often and not become broke in the process, but today was more of a do-shit-and-dip kind of deal. "And I'll preface, I've used my loyalty points for this meeting. So you have to hear me out."

Azul's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and he looks up once again, placing his fishbone pen on its holder. "Ah, right. You did tell me you had something important to tell me.” He purses his lips, and a hint of pink appears on his cheeks once more. “I'm listening."

Yuu has to consciously stop himself from taking a deep breath and betraying his nervousness. Instead, he straightens up and moves his hands to hold the book. "Well, I've been told that you've been looking for ways to freshen up the menu for this coming month, and..."

"If Grim has somehow convinced you to try and pitch me a tuna-themed menu, tell him I'm still not interested." Azul’s expression tenses as he speaks in a serious tone, but Yuu can't help but snort at the answer.

"No, no. It's not that." Yuu covers his mouth with a hand as he regains his composure. "Has he actually tried to do that? Or— wait, I'm getting off-topic. But it's not Grim nor tuna related, promise."

“He may have once or twice.” He says nonchalantly as he places the papers aside, and, upon hearing Yuu's response, Azul's placid smile returns, and his posture relaxes a bit, crossing his arms. "I'm all ears, then.”

"Well, during my trip to Silk City, I had the opportunity to sample some of the popular dishes," Yuu starts. He'd created this pitch before he even got to writing the recipes down themselves. He knew that, with Azul, he needed to make his offer to actually look alluring— appetizing, even, if he were to even entertain the possibility of a novice cook gifting recipes to him. "And I've found some interesting recipes you might like." Azul opens his mouth to speak, but Yuu quickly starts again. "And before you tell me that I am in no position to pitch you any possible dishes, or that you've already stocked up on Scalding Sands recipe books, I'd like you to take a look at what I've brought first."

He slowly takes the wrapped book from his lap and hands it to Azul with both his hands. It takes Yuu all his self-control to keep his hands from shaking as Azul, now perplexed, and perhaps curious, takes the package and examines it.

Their hands touch.

Please, for everything that's sacred, please don't let him blush.

Azul stares at it blankly for a few seconds before he takes off the tape that holds the bottom fold of the package together and slides the notebook from its wraps. And as soon as he does, the aroma of various spices strike both their nostrils. Cumin, Saffron, Paprika— all generously donated by the Asim's cooks.

It also strikes Yuu for the first time just how humble the notebook looks compared to the luxurious office. It looked out of place, foreign, and Yuu couldn't help but purse his lips in slight embarrassment. "I... Um..." God, this wasn't the time to start stammering!

"I... Interviewed the staff from Kalim's kitchens... and gathered as many recipes I could find." As Yuu steadies his voice, Azul starts turning the pages. Expression completely unreadable. "Most of these, they told me, were passed down through generations of trial and error, and I- well, I also documented each dish as best as I could."

"The Asims were kind enough to also allow me to sample their spices. Each is paired with a dish, but I made sure to gather enough for you to experiment if you wish to." Yuu's eyes leave Azul's face and look down at the pages, goodness knows he needed to take a break from trying to figure him out if he didn't want to just faint right then and there, and he was already feeling that annoying lump in his throat that threatened another mistake in his speech. "I know it'd be futile to just buy you a recipe book, since you'd probably have many, so I tried my best to gather as many recipes as possible from a variety of sources.... I, um..."

“I can't accept this. I'm sorry."

Yuu's eyes widen as he gains that same blank expression. His words hit him like a truck, and nothing could've softened that punch to his got nor the sense daze he was struck by. "... Huh?"

“I appreciate the effort you put into this, but… if you were strapped for money, you didn't need to get me anything.” A sharp, stinging pang pierces right through his chest, and Yuu feels mouth go dry. His body is somehow tense yet limp, and he just now notices how cold the VIP room is. "Jade probably mustn't have told you. But it's a personal policy of mine not to accept any gifts." Azul's brows furrow, whether it were with pity or sternness Yuu couldn't care to figure out. "Leaves too many loose ends for me to follow, you see."

"... I..." Yuu's left speechless as Azul puts the wrapping paper over the book and nudges it towards him, sliding it over the dark wood desk. "... I don't want anything for it, really." Yuu's voice is drained of any confidence as he meekly whispers, still in shock. "You can even make me sign a contract if you want."

"And as kind as your offer is, I can't make any exceptions." Azul shrugs, and Yuu's heart sinks. His tone isn't even laced with a sense of remorse or pity. It's... completely and utterly calm as he rejects Yuu's work. “Besides, as you've mentioned, I most likely already have the recipes somewhere in my library. Though having them all compiled in one is certainly convenient, I'd rather do so myself.”

"I still want you to have it." He glances down and leaves the book on the desk, untouched, then takes a step back.

“Yuu… It really isn’t─”

"If you don't want it as a gift, then take it... t-then take it as trash or-..." he breathes in, "Anyway. What matters is that it's yours. Throw it away, sell it, I don't care. But it's yours." He tries to act nonchalant, but he can already feel the lump in his throat becoming larger, cutting any air from getting to his lungs.

Why did he even say that?!

Anyways, before Azul can say or do anything else, Yuu simply walks out the VIP Lounge and out of Octavinelle. He pushes out a smiling Jade and ignores a greeting from Floyd. The atmosphere was just so heavy, suffocating. And all in all, Yuu was sure this was the most pathetic he'd acted in front of Azul ever.

And all he could hear was the sound of Floyd's annoyed whine to his brother just as he crossed the mirror portal door.

"Heeeeyyyy~~ what is up with Shrimpy today~??”

#writing stuff #fanfic stuff #twisted wonderland #art stuff #azul ashengrotto #doodles #twst oc #yuu fujisaki #twst azul #twst yuu #azul x yuu #yuu x azul #azuyuu #yuuazu #i said it was one-sided... but is it

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ladystoneboobs · 6 months

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when it comes to the theon/starks pov trap, so many fans just assume jon's and bran's dislike of theon must be only bc they're just smarter, better judges of character than dumbly friendly robb, even somewhow foretelling theon's later actions at wf in clash. all of them missing that the explanation for why theon was closest to robb is clearly stated in his own first pov, after we've gotten to know jon and bran.

As for their[Ned/Catelyn's] children, the younger ones had been mewling babes for most of his years at Winterfell. Only Robb and his baseborn half brother Jon Snow had been old enough to be worth his notice. -Theon I, aCoK

when you've been sent to live with an unknown family in a strange land and the only boys in that family are ~5 years younger than you, it's natural you're going to learn to ignore that age difference to socialize with the only peers available. but that doesn't mean doing the same with little babies born after your arrival with 10+yr age gaps, that's an age difference too far. jon and robb have to care for all the starklings younger than them, that's their family, but theon was never a member of that family. it's only natural to only want to hang out with your friend and not adopt their hangers-on younger siblings as yours too. idt bran or rickon can be blamed for only robb ever being brotherly toward theon (as he once retorted to maester luwin while hunting for them in the wolfswood), they're little kids, but the point is everyone was reacting in regular kid patterns. bran had no reason to warm up much to an older boy who stole robb's attention from him while having no time for bran in return. (or at least that's how he'd see it.) the notion that bran was rejecting theon from a place of moral superiority implies there was something more there to be rejected. but i think it's more likely that, had it not been for the natural results of a ~12yr age gap, if bran had been a little older or theon had been a little more willing to befriend little kids, then imo bran would have been eager to join the club with all the older boys and truly feel like "a man grown". imho, a closer reading of agot would show that this explanation was also right there in starkling pov all along.

He[Jon Snow] missed his true brothers: little Rickon, bright eyes shining as he begged for a sweet; Robb, his rival and best friend and constant companion; Bran, stubborn and curious, always wanting to follow and join in whatever Jon and Robb were doing. -Jon III, aGoT Even when he was home at Winterfell, Robb the Lord seemed to have more time for Hallis Mollen and Theon Greyjoy than he ever did for his brothers. -Bran IV, aGoT

as for theon/jon ...

The bastard was a sullen boy, quick to sense a slight, jealous of Theon's high birth and Robb's regard for him. -Theon I, aCoK

i think that jealousy for robb's regard must have been mutual, and yet we know who'd win that contest as idt robb would ever yell at jon for saving bran's life. jon had reason to envy theon's station when he was sidelined on special occassions, the same as theon envied jon's relationships with non-catelyn winterfellians. (ie, "Even the bastard Jon Snow had been accorded more honor than he had." theon had a father who was likely a miser with affection even before his wars and here's ned stark and a good part of his household treating even a bastard better than balon greyjoy treated his youngest child, almost as good as the stark heir and more welcome than the ironborn heir who should be robb's equal.) wf castle may have been huge but still not big enough for two liminal quasi-outsiders/not-quite-starks in the same official household with only so much respect, regard, and honor to go around.

there's also just a bit of a personality clash from jon's side of things. idt theon ever really knowingly or intentionally hurt jon, much less bullied him. but look at the rest of his behavior in that first theon pov chapter, casually seducing the captain's daughter and quipping about getting her pregnant, with no thought of ever seeing her again, making it unlikely he'd acknowledge, much less care for, this hypothetical greyjoy bastard. imagine how this attitude comes off to a proudly voluntary celibate teen who at least once declared he would never father a bastard. theon doesn't understand jon's baggage anymore than jon understands why theon, living under an implied threat of possible execution, might make light of beheadings. (some of their reasons for sullenness were similar but others were different enough to ensure that the wf household wasn't big enough for the both of them rather than them finding common ground.) to jon, it's all one and the same, part of theon being a selfish ass. but jon is also the same guy who later kept loving ygritte after she murdered an old man right in front of him, so it's not impossible that he could have befriended theon if they'd met later under different circumstances.

the real difference wrt the wf boys and theon is that robb was just the right mix of naturally friendly extrovert, close enough in age, and without too much baggage of his own to be theon's closest friend.

but we can also see that dislike of theon =/= distrust of theon. bran, as a little kid, is bewildered by theon's invasion of wf, not really getting what it meant that he was always ned's hostage as well as ward. jon may understand more of the background there and reiterated to himself that he never liked theon when hearing of the sack of wf, but he was still confused by the details of what he learned, thinking theon would never do that. and he was right about theon then! the boys theon killed were not bran and rickon, and it's true he would never burn and sack wf, that part was entirely ramsay. theon would emphatically never sack and burn his great war prize, which meant so much more bc he grew up there. that's so true, jon! so, far from sensing a deeper depravity in theon or always seeing him as an enemy, (which rather goes againt the false impression that theon was practically an adopted stark with reason to be equally brotherly to all ned's kids) when jon is objectively right about theon, it's actually in a positive sense, just that he was a skilled archer who wouldn't murder bran and rickon and would never sack wf. that's the jon who sees more and understands when his understanding applies to theon.

#valyrianscrolls #asoiaf meta #theon greyjoy #bran stark #jon snow #robb stark #jonathan snowflake starkgaryen #asoiaf #I should have been with him. Where was I?#i am no stark #Gods do not weep. Or do they?#happy theon thursday!#(c)lsb #this feels very basic when i say it like this why werent the 19yo and the the 7yo closer friends?#but idt i've ever seen anyone else lay it out in all my theon reading

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lenievi · 2 months

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Wanted to gather my thoughts, so here they are re: bbc!Javert's arc related to Valjean saving people when Javert is around. And some other related thoughts. Not that organized, but well...

From Javert's POV, he watched Valjean save a guard, a guy under the cart, Fantine, Champ, (Cosette), and finally Marius.

In Toulon, Valjean saves a guard's life, after failing to kill him, but that's beside the point; funnily enough Javert didn't notice that Valjean did it on purpose because he wasn't watching at that moment, so he only saw him saving a life. And because he did, and Javert went ??? he called him to his little torture chamber and his first question was: Why did you save his life? Javert thought Valjean did it to get a reward, to be released, because why else would a convict save a life, right? Plus, he thinks Valjean did it to ridicule Javert. He's just looking for reasons, and makes it personal. Javert singles out Valjean, because he doesn't understand him, because Valjean's actions don't make sense to him, because Valjean disregarded his authority - Javert was in charge, he was giving orders, and his men failed and Valjean "won"; he makes up an imaginary contest in his own head and thinks he's superior. And if he was a criminal? He'd be better than Valjean too.

When Valjean saves Fantine from getting arrested, Javert asks: What exactly does this woman mean to you, Monsieur le Maire? because again, he can't wrap his head around why he would do that, why he would risk the mayor's reputation to help a prostitute (if there wasn't something between them). And to cross Javert. Again.

At this point, he has three instances of Valjean saving someone (the guy under the cart is the third one, which happened before Fantine). But because Javert is so wrapped in self-hate and Valjean-hate, he doesn't actually process what it means, exactly. He just knows that Valjean would save a person in need, even if that person is unrelated to him, even if they have no connections. And so he sets up a trap with Champ and the trial in Arras.

(I do believe his "you astonish me" was genuine, but then he suppressed it and continued with his "gotta uncover Valjean" and did not process it)

The thing about this adaptation is that Javert didn't ask Madeleine to ask for his dismissal; Javert turned in his resignation to Madeleine. But Madeleine's not in charge of the police, the only thing that Javert did, imho, was to resign from his position as the police inspector in Montreuil. He didn't resign from the police force. So even if Valjean didn't bite and fall into his trap, Javert would just have to leave Montreuil (and wait for a different opportunity, which would be harder since "Jean Valjean" would be imprisoned, and Javert’s own career might be postponed). But I digress. (I could also be wrong, but this makes the most sense to me.)

When Valjean does come forward, Javert is elated. He was right from the beginning, and that's pretty much his only thought. He doesn't stop to think what it says about Valjean, he just wants to see him in chains again. And he does, and he's happy. Javert relocates to Paris, gets promoted, and probably lives a pretty content life for two years. Like in the book, he probably even forgot about Valjean because he was behind the bars.

And then, Valjean makes a comeback. Javert makes his whole department believe that Valjean is very dangerous (a note: Javert believes this. He thinks Valjean is dangerous and he's also afraid – among other things – of him and his strength) and they spent time and resources on catching him. And Javert fails and loses Valjean for 10 years. And since then, nothing can satisfy him, nothing can give him pleasure. He's lonely and depressed and his failure, the fact that Valjean is at large, haunts him, and his obsession gets worse. He makes a picture of Valjean in his head, believing that he's laughing at him and mocking him. "I shall never be at peace until he’s back in chains."

Gorbeau House happens. Javert gets worse to the point where he even ignores his job, but isn't even aware of it because he connects Valjean with the revolution in his mind. It all makes sense in his head. There's nothing in his mind but Valjean. When he catches him, everything will be fine again. Everything that has been lacking in his life is the fault of "Valjean being free". That is Javert's mindset. Has been for 10 years in this series. Not only does he project his self-hatred but also his self-worth on Valjean.

Barricade happens. Javert genuinely believes that Valjean would kill him. And Valjean lets him go, and Javert doesn't get it. And he finally starts to think and processing, but it was only after he saw Valjean saving Marius that an even bigger shift happened.

Javert: That young man… is he a… particular friend… of yours? Would you say he’s… dear to you? Valjean: Quite the contrary. If he lives, he intends to rob me of all my happiness. Javert: And yet you… are you insane? Valjean: No, I don’t think so. Are you?

Once again, Javert sees Valjean saving someone. Once again, he asks him why? Who is Marius to him? Is he close? Is he dear to him? He's choosing the words carefully, not because of jealousy (even though that subtext is fun too, but not the primary one imho), but because he wants to believe that Marius is someone Valjean cares about. Because if he is, then yes, it makes sense because people save those they're close to. But Valjean tells him that no. That Marius's someone who will rob him, cause him harm. And he still saves him.

From Javert's POV, saving the guard in Toulon brought Javert's wrath. Saving the guy under the cart gave Javert ammunition. Saving Fantine risked the mayor's reputation (and gave Javert more ammunition). Saving Champ cost Valjean his freedom. Letting Javert go meant that Javert could still continue his hunt and it would cost Valjean's freedom again. And now, saving Marius is also detrimental for Valjean himself.

Javert finally understands that Valjean is a good person who helps those who need it. He is a person who redeemed himself. The image Javert created in his mind was a lie. All that Valjean has done in his life, as Madeleine, was good and genuine. And Javert? He wasted years and years on a man who did not exist.

Javert: Are you insane? Valjean: No, I don't think so. Are you?

Javert: I let [Valjean] go. Rivette: An act of clemency? Javert: An act of madness.

And I just genuinely enjoy his character.

#les miserables bbc #les miserables #javert #jean valjean #valvert #the book is the book. the bbc 'verse is the bbc 'verse #yes i am aware that probably 80% of this is why people don't like this version? but i enjoy how broken he is #and i like the dynamic between javert and valjean #and idk his character just makes sense if you treat the series as its own thing #i completely get that this type of character might not be everyone's cup of tea tho

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buddieisgoingcanon2024 · 5 months

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Hello 🚩🚩🚩 anon here.

The comments from the anon who said...

[Direct quote]: "your anons shouldn’t have to insult other couples to show support for buddie. hen and karen are important queer representation as two black lesbian woman in a happy relationship and maddie and chimney are an interracial couple who have found love after trauma. And they are important to a lot of people so honestly it’s very insulting and demeaning to say they’re boring.

And if maybe Maddie’s role was reduced take that up with the writers that didn’t give her the screentime she deserves instead of bashing madney?" [End quote]

...are lopsided and unfounded. Anon, please understand a person can make comments about how "boring" a ship/couple on 9-1-1 or any TV show for that matter is if they believe it to be true. Also, a difference of opinion with you doesn't mean the person is insulting or demeaning "Henren" or "Madney".

Let's be clear and real here for a minute, the storylines they've been given is what makes them boring. So, don't fault the other anon for stating facts when your comments are the ones that are lopsided.

Here are a few facts and reasons why the ships on the show have become BORING.

Madney - Initially, they had a wonderful friendship that turned into a romantic relationship but the creators and the showrunner turned them into a boring couple when they didn't give them any good storylines and when they diminished their relationship to the point where Maddie completely overshadows Chimney and he's sidelined and treated like a recurring character even though he's been on the show since the beginning. All of his storylines are attached to hers and let's be real, her storylines haven't been good since before JLH went on maternity leave at the beginning of S5. The way they had Chimney chasing her across the U.S. was just BAD! It would have been a lot better if they would've let her tell Chimney she was struggling (***check notes***) like she did at the end of season 4 but instead of doing that, what did 9-1-1 do? They let her leave with a video and left him there to watch it at the firehouse. Everyone knows Chimney has abandonment issues because his own father left him to fend for himself in the U.S. when he was 15 years old after his mother died. Also, prior to his relationship with Maddie, he was afraid Tatiana was going to leave him. The FACT is Maddie did leave and he was afraid but THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE HIS BEHAVIOR WHEN HE PUNCHED BUCK IN THE FACE.

It's really unbelievable the show didn't let Maddie say anything about Chimney punching her brother and giving him a black eye especially since she's a DV survivor. Buck is her brother and she was the one who took care of him while he was growing up so she should have been the first person to say something to Chimney about his bad behavior. Now don't get it twisted, I like Chimney but the way that storyline played out was not a good look for him, her or Buck and it shouldn't have made it past the smell test. ALL OF THEM WERE OUT OF CHARACTER and there's no excuse for it other than the showrunner didn't know what to do with Chimney without Maddie being there. 🙄

Henren - Has the longest relationship on the show. They've been together for years but the creators and the showrunner have NO IDEA of what to do with them and IMHO it has to do with the showrunner not allowing them to have any good storylines. That foolery they included in S6 for them with Denny's bio dad was even WORSE than the Madney storyline from S5. Instead of letting Denny run off to meet some dude he'd never met before, the showrunner should have watched S2 and verified the agreement Nathaniel made with Hen and Karen. That storyline shouldn't have played out like it did because he was supposed to follow their lead.

Also, their storyline in the finale was BAD because they just stuck some unknown foster kids with them and completely blindsided the audience with it because they hadn't fostered a child since Nia left in S4. Also, IIRC, they weren't allowed to foster a lot of kids at once but they had like five or six in the finale. At first, I thought they were some of Denny's friends but when I realized they were a lot younger than him, I had no idea where they came from.

Hen's medical school storyline ended like a wet match when they could have done a lot more with it. It was like they gave up or something and didn't put any effort into it.

Bathena - They've become boring too and IMHO, the show is using the shock value of a cruise ship sinking like the Titanic to get people to watch but that is so played out and Bobby and Athena deserve better. Is the cruise ship emergency needed, YES! Why? Because S6 was worse than S5 so hopefully it'll be exciting enough to hold people's attention but let's be real, a CGI generated cruise ship will NOT hold a match to the Tsunami, the Earthquake or the Shooting!

Buddie - I won't even comment on the recycled storylines they keep giving Eddie and Buck to delay the inevitable because if do, this post wouldn't end. But just like all the other ships, they deserve so much better than some one-dimensional LIs who will be around for like 2 minutes unless they drag out those storylines like they did the ones with AF and TK. If they do then God help us all because those were BAD on so many levels.

The point of this anonymous ask is to point out the fact that the anon who posted the quote above needs to redirect their frustrations to the show instead of to the people who comment on how boring the ships are. Let's be real, a lot of the GA feels the same way.

People need to stop thinking that if a person has a different viewpoint than theirs', it's incorrect because it's not true.

Thanks anon for this lovely ask/answer. I agree with all your comments on the couples and almost couples (see what I did there). The show runner[s] need to see and hear what the fans want. It would do them some good if they did. Dare I say they would have in their hands a m/m couple that defied odds and got together in their 30s that also had 1000% chemistry.

#buddie #henren #bathena #Madney #911 on abc

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desertfangs · 1 year

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I know it's said in one of the later books that neither Daniel or Armand enjoy spending too much time in court and would rather go back to Trinity Gate but the thought of having Daniel there just being his ridiculous self a la QoTD is delightful. This is the same guy who was doing his own version of holding back laughter during a genocide and yes, part of it was because he'd recently been turned and was still in awe of everything but IMHO that's also part of who he is and how he responds to crisis situations. So picturing him being there during important meetings and witnessing the ins and outs of dealing with Lestat's court is hilarious. I imagine him having to excuse himself at times just to go to another room to let out the giggle he'd been holding back for hours because the whole thing IS kinda funny when you think about it.

LOL yes. I mean, Daniel was so overwhelmed when the Akasha thing went down. He'd almost died of alcoholism which absolutely means he spent the last days of his mortal life in this weird fog of confusion because of all of the ammonia in his brain since his kidneys were failing. Then he was turned into a vampire and overwhelmed by the strength and enormity of vampire senses and one of the first things he does is go to Lestat's concert, which had to feel surreal AF. Like, Daniel has been thinking of Lestat as this sort of almost mythical figure for over a decade and now on his like pretty much first night as a vampire, he's with Armand at Lestat's rock show? Tell me you wouldn't be laughing your ass off at the irony of that alone.

It's not that I think Daniel can't take things seriously, but I agree that he's definitely one of those people who's reaction to really dark and terrible things is to laugh and make jokes. Gallow's Humor is his friend. But IIRC he's pretty level-headed during the whole chaos in PL, so I think he can absolutely hold it in when he needs to, especially now that the colors of the wallpaper aren't distracting him and he knows how to manage his vampire senses better.

That said, I'm sure Court is ridiculous in a lot of ways. The part I think Daniel finds the funniest is that like... Marius, Lestat, and Louis are people he knows. Like he spent a decade with Louis and Lestat in the back of his mind as these people from Louis' story, and even Louis probably stopped feeling entirely real and then bam, they were just at his house for some long stretch of time. At this point, they're just people in his life.

But then at Court they're the Prince and the Prince Consort (whatever the fuck that means.... don't tell him, he knows what it means, he's just being an ass), and the Prime Minister, and things are probably often set up in a formal way in order to demonstrate to the younger set and the other immortals that this is a real, functioning vampire government (for now). And Daniel is just like... okay, sure, Lestat is the Prince or whatever, but that guy also keeps tagging me and Armand in instagram videos of people doing Blender Unboxings.

I'm sure he absolutely sometimes loses it when they're spending an hour debating some inane thing or whether to go stop some rogue vampire who is leaving a trail in some small country village or whatever their business entails. And it's worse if Lestat gets bored with it, because then the two of them start texting or having some kind of discussion with the Mind Gift and aren't paying attention, which frustrates whoever's leading the meeting (probably Marius). Maybe Lestat starts sending him suggestive mind images or who even knows. Or Armand starts giving him looks that means he's also thinking of which closet they abscond to when the meeting is over, and finally after some or all of this, Daniel has to stand up and exit the meeting so he doesn't burst out laughing in the middle of it.

I also think Daniel is very pragmatic and he as a pretty optimistic view of the world and vampirekind. So like sometimes while watching things go down, he's probably just standing in the background listening to some of the ancient vampires debate some archaic thing and finding it absurd. I would like Daniel Molloy's impressions of vampire court, because I'm sure he has some hilarious observations about the way they do things. So yeah, in those cases, too, he's probably sneaking off to go let out those giggles so he doesn't get yelled out again for not taking it seriously. And he does, but sometimes it's so absurd you can't help but laugh.

There's a lot of hilarity to be had in this scenario and a lot of potential for silly fic or fanart about it, because sometimes it is just kind of ridiculous, and Daniel absolutely understands that better than any of them. (Although I'm sure Armand does, too, and Lestat is in on the joke sometimes as well. But damn, he looks good in a crown!)

#thank you for the ask #sorry i rambled so much wow i have thoughts this morning #i haven't even had coffee yet. that's probably part of the problem tbh #answers in the desert #daniel molloy #vampire court #lestat de lioncourt #vc meta #vc humor #armand #anonymous #queen of the damned #prince lestat #post-canon shenanigans #vampire court shenanigans

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missoneminute · 3 years

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Couldn't agree more with your comments about Pete's weight gain! Very well said! Who hasn't put on a bit of weight during a worldwide pandemic I say.

Also think it would massively help just wearing some better fitting clothes? The recent pics are not at all flattering and he'd look fine in the right size imho

Hello, in fairness Peter has very often worn clothes that are a weird fit, and nothing has changed. In terms of those photos - he wasn’t on stage, he wasn’t at a photo shoot, he was just running errands in some clothes he slapped on, like we all do, and happened to be photographed. There were also over 50 frames taken by the photographer that day, and the media outlets that ran them went out of their way to choose just four to six frames that looked the least ‘flattering’ because that makes the best story. x

#asks #trigger warning #weight #weight gain

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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Hiya so idk if you still like doing these but I wanted to ask your opinion on how you think hawks would handle a true heart to heart conversation (just a true 1 on 1 with the real him) with a bestfriend/significant other just telling him how much they care for him and appreciate not just hawks but Keigo bc of how much he does for them. Do you think he'd get emotional? Embarrassed? Ridiculously happy? I think you understand his character quite well

This is more of a theoretical/characterization question than a self-insert fic request so I don't mind taking a swing at it. Still, I'll focus on the other person as a significant other because it's easier for my brain to wrap around - though an adequately close and trusted friend would likely get the same reaction. (Platonic soul mates definitely exist, IMHO.)

The first big question is how much does this person know about him? From what we know about him canonically it doesn't look like he really has any true friends or extended family to speak of, and he'd likely be hesitant and not truly ready for a romantic or otherwise truly personal relationship to begin with as far as canon goes. But, just to assume he does, how much do they know him and know about him?

If they don't know much, for example just kind of the level he lets Tokoyami and Endeavor see, I think he would receive that declaration of love well, fondly even; but it probably doesn't quite penetrate those deeper layers - makes him feel truly seen and accepted for who he really is. In his mind he's be more likely to file it away as "S/O thinks well of me, I can trust them" in a similar way he seems to log all his relationships. It's not that he doesn't recognize it as genuine or doesn't value it, just that he's got a face for them as much as he does everyone else even if he truly does love them for who they are (which I think would have to be the case in that kind of relationship - I genuinely don't see Player/Cavalier-Hawks as canon whatsoever).

If they knew everything, though - and I do mean everything? They know about his upbringing, the sense of duty attached to his identity, the fact that he likely doesn't make a distinction between Hawks and Keigo in his mind (maybe even that he more identifies as Hawks), the fear, the guilt, the feeling of helplessness, the ugly everything that he hides from even himself. If they bring that up - put it in clear words they don't just love him despite all of that, but that they love him with all of the baggage and damage because it's part of what made him into the person they love and that they want to stay with him as he grows and changes whatever that may be? That cuts deep. While situational context matters (when, how, and in what environment is this happening?) in as far as his outward reaction, I don't think it has a bearing on how much that would actually mean to him.

And speaking of situational context, let's say S/O stops everything to have this talk. The world doesn't exist outside of them in the moment. If he accepts that person as a safe space to let down his walls, I could see him crying. It could be this is the talk that makes that safe space click for the first time in his head. It depends on where he is emotionally because as emotional of a person as he is, he still feels the need to put on a brave face. Crying in front of someone - anyone, really - might actually be one of the scariest things he can think to do. Embarrassment and happiness are likely to be more natural knee-jerk reactions with him, but again it always comes down the context and depth of the relationship he has with that individual.

---------

This is that kind of hypothetical that really needs a fleshed-out second character and a personal history between them thoroughly set to really explore well. It doesn't happen all at once - certainly not with Hawks - and getting to those squishy, uncomfortable bits organically will take time and could even be a painful process. It also really depends on the particular dynamic the two of them have, in my opinion - sort of the way both or either of them process emotion and vocalizing what/how they feel. This kind of moment is more like the emotional climax that establishes the nature of their relationship moving forward from what has been building; and that build up can't be neglected, imo.

The Sword of Damocles is Swinging is a fic by @prince-liest that's on my to-read list as I've seen jt regarded as one of the best Hawks' character studies in fandom at the moment by trusted sources (and from what I've read/discussed of their opinions/observations of Hawks, I don't doubt it). Though I can't give it a "personal" recommendation on account of the whole "haven't actually read it myself" bit, I would say it doesn't hurt to check it out as well as dig into his character for yourself. Even my little halo of vocal mutuals don't always 100% agree on everything regarding Hawks, so by no means take any one person's opinion as gospel (besides maybe Horikoshi because, you know, theoretically he knows that character better than anyone).

#let's talk hawks #she speaks

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easilydistractedbyfanfic · 5 years

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I kind of worry about Ravens reaction if she finds out Murphy seems okay with immortality and how he'd have to get it? Though I believe in Murphy's redemption so far and they can't ruin it completely all of a sudden right...whatever happens I hope for more Murven scenes even if they do get a bit angsty, sometimes especially if there's angst haha

Hey there, friend! I let this one marinate in my inbox for a bit while I thought it over. I think there have been some OOC moments for Raven so far this season, coming about due to plot. I say that because it’s entirely possible that what I think about any of these characters after watching them for 5.5 seasons now can be chopped into pieces at any time! But that said, I don’t think they would completely flip her position when they’ve already made it somewhat clear in scenes with Ryker that she is against what the Primes have done/are doing.

Raven has been lashing out a lot this season, bottling up her hurt and pain and hurling it at others. And she doesn’t know the details about Clarke yet, which I do think is going to add to her despair. I think she would understandably be angry with Murphy that he seems okay with immortality even though it comes at the cost of someone else, but I admit that I hope this is tempered by her knowledge that he is capable of making self-sacrificing choices and that there’s quite a lot of evidence that he’s also operating from a place of fear that just adds to his natural instincts of survival.

The lack of communication on this show contributes so much to all their problems. Spacekru barely talks to each other about their grief for Harper & Monty, no one’s giving condolences to Raven about Shaw, no one has asked Murphy how he’s doing after dying and what kind of nightmarish scene he saw after - they’re all overwhelmed, stressed, and traumatised and I do wish that sometimes they’d remember that about each other instead of leaping right to accusatory tones and “let me just believe the worst about you” perspectives. I’m a little hopeful about this for Raven & Murphy, because they do know each other and they are familiar with how each of them operate. But... unfortunately I am not expecting to see anger or frustration with an undercurrent of understanding.

If this season continues the way it’s been going, I legit think it’s genuinely possible we never see Raven’s reaction to Murphy’s plan. Plot is moving really fast and there haven’t been very many satisfying emotional scenes, IMHO, that actually wrap up how the characters feel about something. So much is open-ended and we are left to wonder if it has gotten resolved off-screen in a scene we just were never witness to, or if it’s just suddenly evaporated as an issue and is no longer important.

And that’s too bad because I do think that it would be great to see Raven, who experienced the loss of mental & body autonomy at the hands of ALIE, call out Murphy about this, after his own experiences in Polis with Ontari and Titus, and with him being used as a pawn by Trikru in early S1 when they dosed him with an illness and used him to spread it through the Delinquents. Murphy is also well aware of how it feels to be used against his will but he may conveniently be forgetting about that with his desire to avoid whatever hell he thinks his fate is.

I think it’s in character for Murphy to have gone along with Josephine’s plan, for him to try to convince Bellamy to agree to their offer, and for Murphy to consider using those memory chips to become immortal. There was no better option at the time, that’s for sure, and I can see the appeal from his current perspective. I don’t think it’s in character for him to actually go through with it, although I suppose time will tell. Would I like to see Raven talk or yell some sense into him about it? Heck yes! But I’d be disappointed if it was with no consideration for the layers that Murphy has and only about screaming at him for being selfish. I’m not sure how much I trust that the show would make it that deep though.

So, all this being said, Nonnie? Please know that I am ultimately happy to have Raven and Murphy in the same scene, in the same frame, speaking to each other at ALL this season, since we’re barely seeing it so far. So if it has to be with an OOC argument that ignores their past history and makes Raven look like a perpetually angry robot incapable of self-assessment and Murphy look like a one-dimensional selfish bastard with no redemptive qualities... well, I can’t lie, part of me would be like OMG LOOK THEY MADE EYE CONTACT! Oops....

#murven #raven x murphy #my inbox #raven reyes #john murphy #the 100 season 6

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