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void-botanist · 2 months

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Rose's Kiss Week Day 5: Lonely

OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Gren Orech-Pabat

Words: 1335

Content warnings: mentions of family health issues

Notes: this takes place six months after Anchesh married his last spouse, human himbo Gren.

At the other end of the sofa, Gren sighed for the tenth time in as many minutes. He was staring off at the other end of the room, chin propped up in one big hand, and more than likely didn’t even realize he sounded so despondent.

“How are you doing?” Anchesh asked.

“I’m fine. It’s just lonely without Yera.”

Probably it was best not to talk too much about Yera, because Gren would only get sadder if he started thinking about why Yera was out of town and how stressed she must be. Instead Anchesh put aside his knitting.

“I’m probably not as good at cuddling as Yera,” he said, moving to the cushion next to Gren, “but I’m here.”

Gren instantly pivoted and deflated into his lap, settling one cheek against his thigh and a hand over his knee. Today Gren’s hair was held in a bunlike fold with just an alligator clip, which Anchesh gently pulled out and set on the open cushion beside him. Then he combed his fingers back through Gren’s loose locks.

“I feel bad being lonely,” Gren murmured. “Her family needs her way more than I do, and I’m not alone here.”

“You’re her family too,” Anchesh answered in the same low tone. “And it doesn’t feel the same, not having her here.”

“Yeah.” Gren squeezed his leg a little, like he needed something to cling to.

Anchesh let Gren’s hair slip through his fingers over and over, massaging Gren’s scalp with each draw. Truth be told, he was worried about Yera too. She would be fine, unless her father got worse. He probably wouldn’t die, not yet, but the wondering and waiting felt unsettling enough for him at home—it must be awful for her. She was right to have the rest of them stay behind, except Hossan, because sooner or later they’d all be at loose ends and end up making her feel worse. But he still wished he could be there to hold her and talk to her, probably just the same as Gren.

“Maybe I don’t spend enough time with the rest of you,” Gren said suddenly. “Especially you.”

“I don’t mind how much time you spend with Yera and Hossan,” Anchesh answered.

“Yeah, but—” Gren rose from his lap, slowly enough that he didn’t pull his own hair in Anchesh’s hands. With his hair pushed behind his ears, he said, “I’m your husband too. And you don’t get tired of me like Pali does. I would leave you alone if you wanted me to but you’ve never told me to do that.”

Anchesh handed him the alligator clip. “I mean, I’m happy to spend more time with you. I just don’t want you to worry too much about it.”

Gren stared at nothing while he smoothed his hair back into a ponytail and clipped it there. Then he continued looking at some spot further down the sofa. “Anchesh...do you love me?”

It was a serious question that deserved a serious answer, but Anchesh was distracted by the plaintiveness of Gren’s voice. Had this been worrying him for the last six months?

Gren waited two seconds before adding, “Not like you love Yera or Umedes, but...”

He took Gren’s hand from his lap, and Gren looked up. “I do love you, Gren. You’re my friend. And my husband. And I’m glad I married you.”

“Really?” He didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“Really. I would have married you just for Yera and Hossan, but I like having you around too. You’re so bright, and lovely, and you always make sure we have what we need. And—”

“I think Pali does that.”

“Pali doesn’t keep everyone upbeat,” Anchesh said. “And she’s definitely not good at making sure we all rest, especially not herself. I think she’s gotten more sleep in the six months you’ve been here than she has since I married her.” Gren didn’t say anything, so he kept going. “We need someone who’s as thoughtful as you are. I need someone who is.” An almost melancholy gratitude welled up in him, and he tried to figure out how to put words to it. He wasn’t sure that Gren understood how much he made life more bearable. He wasn’t sure any of his spouses did, even though he didn’t know where he’d be without them. He loved all of them, and he needed all of them, and on some level he needed Gren, the only one who wasn’t at least a little wrapped up in politics and particularities, most of all. He put his other hand over Gren’s. “You mean a lot to me, Gren.”

“Do you think you could say that more? Not that, but like, ‘I love you’?”

When was the last time he’d told Gren he loved him? Even if he didn’t remember exactly, he had a feeling it had been days, or weeks. He’d decided without thinking about it that Gren didn’t really need to hear it, and he definitely didn’t need to hear it from him, arguably Gren’s least favorite spouse aside from Pali.

“Of course I can,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Gren’s hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t said it very much.”

“It’s okay.” Gren put his other hand on top of Anchesh’s. Then he dropped his cheek against Anchesh’s shoulder.

“You know you can always tell me about your feelings,” Anchesh said.

“You don’t tell me about yours,” Gren said. “Except in bed, kinda.”

“Do you want to know about my feelings?”

“Yes!” Gren lifted his head and his face was all exasperation. “I know I don’t understand all of the things you do but I can understand how you feel!”

“Most of my feelings aren’t good.” And it would be cruel to burden someone like Gren with them.

“I still want to know,” Gren said. “I just want to be there for you, but I never know what’s going on with you.”

He’d given up on being there for Gren because it was obvious Gren didn’t need him, and he couldn’t keep track of the constantly shifting world he lived in with Yera and Hossan. “While Yera and Hossan are gone, maybe we should focus on that. Being there for each other.”

“I’d like that.” Gren’s eyes fell to their hands, and Anchesh thought he could see a blush rising in his cheeks. “I’d also like to kiss you more.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want.” He felt like he meant that the most of anything he’d said so far. Gren raised his head and went straight to softly touching his lips to Anchesh’s, his mustache tickling at Anchesh’s smooth-shaven upper lip.

On the next kiss his hand caressed the curve of Anchesh’s neck, and then he untangled his other hand from Anchesh’s and threw both arms around his neck, and when that apparently wasn’t enough he broke the kiss and fully straddled Anchesh’s thighs, hunching a little to reach his lips. Anchesh tilted his head further back in turn, feeling the pleasant tension of his horns pressing against the back of the sofa. Despite his position, Gren didn’t seem like he was trying to be seductive. He kissed Anchesh to savor him, like he was fresh water on Gren’s parched tongue, a tongue carefully exploring the contours of Anchesh’s. He was in no rush, and his skin was warm against Anchesh’s where they touched, Gren’s feet pressed against his knees, hands along the edge of his neckline, soft lips drinking him in. Anchesh let his hands run back over Gren’s thighs, his hips, to the bare, fuzzy skin at his midriff, and held on there.

When Gren pulled back at long last, his breath was edged with gasps, and so was Anchesh’s.

“I love you, Anchesh. I love you so much.”

Without a word, they pulled each other close, Anchesh wrapping his arms around Gren’s back as he leaned forward to press his cheek against Gren’s shoulder.

“I love you too, Gren.”

RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs

#spoiler alert: Yera's father does not die and is still alive when Anchesh returns from Rade years later #Yera comes back and is like “what have you two been up to hmm” and they're like “literally we just talked about our feelings”#as I was writing this I had this realization that Anchesh and Gren are givers but for two different reasons and this brings them conflict #Gren is just Like That. his whole identity is based around giving. it comes with the himbo archetype #but also he doesn't see any reason to be selfish. he is fundamentally a lover in the same way Tatya is #Anchesh on the other hand would still absolutely be a kind person if he wasn't traumatized but his giving is defined by that trauma #he gives because he doesn't want to be like his mother. doesn't want to make his internal life everyone else's problem #but he also has been taught by his mother that his only value is in what he can give and how he can support other people's needs (hers)#so he minimizes himself expertly. even when he shouldn't. because it's kinder not to be outwardly depressed - right?#because it's better not to be the burden that he knows he is - right?#I didn't intend for these scenes to trace Anchesh's descent into further depression #but like. it's kind of hard not to trace that line. it informs so much about his relationships and what he struggles with in them #anyway ren here's a feast lol #c: Marcus #c: Gren #wip: iecunem #rose brambles #rose's kiss week #rose writ

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 1 year

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I'm so happy to see you getting active again. Honestly, I thought this account just died 😅😅😅😅😅.

I have fallen in love with your posts, especially those meta analysis about Comte are so on-point. I can't wait to see your reviews about his drama CD.

Also, have you seen Comte’s 6th birthday story? I saw the CG but I dont have the chance to read the story. Is ok if you also give some spoilers about it? 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Glad to be back! Sorry for the scare--life just got ahead of me, and alas my spoons were limited and focused on survival. That being said, I've still been reading/translating his stories, so I have indeed seen Comte's 6th bday story.

I think you've given me a bit too much power 🤣 but I'm happy to gush about Comte anytime. Since I'm going to discuss something that hasn't been released in the English version yet, the deets will be under a cut.

A reminder that I'm not a professional, so this is by no means an infallible translation. I try to convey what I find to the best of my ability, but I'm sure there are nuances I miss.

Where to begin? Honestly this story was A Lot, and arguably among my favorites, but the title of the CG/story is allegedly "Courtship at the Nape of the Neck." Get hyped, y'all--if I understood things correctly, it's exactly as it sounds.

The story begins with MC and Comte on their way to a ball for his birthday, and MC is all like "honey. When I said I wanted this day to be for you. That did not mean. Another dress for me." To which Comte's response is "New phone, who dis."

All jokes aside, MC does feel bad about it but he insists it makes him very happy, so she concedes:

MC: You got me a dress as a gift again…despite the fact that it’s your birthday;;;

I smiled at MC, who seemed to feel bad about it.

Comte: It’s because it’s my birthday that I gave you that dress. It’s my greatest pleasure to gift them to you, and accompany you in it.

I reached out beside me to stroke her hair gently.

Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

MC then mentions that she's made him a gift, and downplays it--likely out of shyness--before handing it over.

It was a handkerchief with a simple yet elegant design, with a name embroidered on it.

Comte: Did you embroider this yourself? How did you prepare such a wonderful thing?

MC: Hehe, I did my best under Sebastian’s guidance.

(To do something this intricate by hand would have taken quite a bit of time…)

Comte: Thank you, MC. I’ll treasure it.

I felt a warmth fill my chest at the sweet gesture, and I dropped a kiss to the handkerchief I received.

Comte: I’d prefer to be kissing you, but I fear if I do I won’t want to get out of the carriage after I start.

So like, yes, take a moment to scream, because wow. First of all, how dare you Abel. Second of all, AAAAAAAAAAA IT'S SO SUBTLE AND SWEET BUT ALSO LOWKEY SULTRY HOW DARE!!! I will have my r e v e n g e--

But also??? Aside from my brainworms, I really do love this part of him. Even though her gift is simple, he really does cherish the effort and dedication she put into making him something. I guess I think about how someone in his position could easily downplay its significance--but he doesn’t. He’s mindful of how her feelings saturate the act, and he honors it openly. And in case you think this is a one-off instance, it really isn’t. In his Anniversary story event, there is a direct emphasis on how he still keeps MC’s wedding gift to him--the preserved flower pins--polished as if they were newly gifted to him, not a speck of dust clouding their surface, lovingly tended.

I think it’s very easy for people to minimize him as unfeeling or haughty the way only very rich people can be, but...the his character construction and the intimate personal details you see if you’re close to him reveal that he doesn’t really fit that stereotype at all. Sure he’s selective about who he shares himself with, but that doesn’t make him fundamentally shallow.

Moving right along, MC gets bashful (and honestly who could blame her idk how she even makes sustained eye contact help) and they arrive at the venue in short order. None of this is especially notable except that it says, when they exit the carriage:

Her small, lovely hand covered the one I gently held out for her to take.

Thanks! I'm devastated!!! You just broke down adoration to its bare essentials!!!! I'm a romantic for one person and one person only, and it's HIM--

Naturally, they enter the ballroom and everyone flocks over to congratulate Comte on his birthday. Gracious and measured as ever, he accepts each one in turn, but MC is silent/stiff for most of it. All of a sudden, MC says she's going to get some fresh air and slips away to the balcony to clear her head. Comte is understandably confused and tries to follow after her, until he's intercepted by another noblewoman.

(What’s the matter…? It’s not like her to leave on her own like that so suddenly.)

When I tried to follow her at once--

Well-dressed noblewoman: Wait, Comte

As soon as I’m stopped by the woman, melodious music swells to fill the hall.

Well-dressed noblewoman: I’d love to spend some time with le Comte tonight. Won’t you share a dance with me?

A woman with a charming smile from the past crossed my mind.

(In the past, when I hadn’t been in love, I would have accepted such an invitation for the sake of simply enjoying the novelty of a single moment; that ephemeral warmth was something I relied on in the endless sea of loneliness that was eternity.)

--But now, I don’t feel that way anymore.

(Because I met MC.)

Comte: I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m already accounted for. Have a pleasant rest of the night, young lady.

So after Comte picks the correct answer, he continues on his way to the balcony and finds MC staring up at the sky.

Aight so like. I love when they have a certain writer create these stories, because they literally always make MC the strong and silent (stoic/defensive) type and Comte her little meow meow. It may be specific to me and my tastes but I love it here and I'm never leaving.

Before I add the transcription, I will say that I'm not really sure the "were you crying? did someone bully you?" part was something I fully understood. It appeared to be some kind of idiom/nuance the translator struggled to pick-up on, so I apologize for that. But it is my understanding that he's alluding to MC being picked on/unhappy.

When MC turned around, she had a surprised but also somewhat anxious look on her face.

(If I try to ask her what’s wrong…she’ll say it’s nothing. In that case…)

Comte: Were you crying? Did someone bully you?

MC’s expression relaxed a little at my dramatics.

MC: What are you on about, I wasn’t crying or bullied. But if I was crying…what would you do?

Though she throws the question back at me, I smile in response.

Comte: A gentleman's handkerchief is there to wipe away a lady's tears. I would tend to you with the very handkerchief you gifted me tonight.

MC: Thank you. But, I’m not one to shed tears so easily.

Comte: That’s right, you’re very strong.

The anxiety that clouded her expression earlier has faded away now, and she’s smiling.

I hold my hand out to MC once again…

MC: Yes, with pleasure.

Y'all but the way she claps back, and then he kills with that line about the handkerchief. God damn sir, if nothing else you get full points for incredible verbal repartee. (Lowkey, I’d make out with him for his emotional intelligence alone, don’t look at me.)

Okay but because I can’t help myself. I love how he’s like. I’m No Gentleman, MC. I Am A Liar.

Also Comte: A gEnTlEmAn’S HaNdKeRcHieF iS tHeRe To--

Mfer certainly knows how to lay down the charm when he wants to cheer her up--

After that, it simply says they spend a lovely evening together and then cuts to them relaxing in a hotel near the venue. Cuddled together (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME), MC eventually speaks up to explain what happened earlier that night.

MC: Hey, Comte…

MC is picking at the hem of her clothes absently when she calls out to me.

Comte: What’s the matter?

I caress her hair to encourage her to continue, and she slowly opens her mouth as if she were choosing her words very carefully.

MC: When I was on the balcony earlier tonight…I wasn’t crying, but I was pretty frustrated with myself. I saw so many beautiful women giving you their congratulations tonight, I can’t help but worry you’ll be snatched away from me…I’m sorry you had to see me like this on your special day…

So, in the immortal words of Beyonce, "What's worse, looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?" is basically the mood of this whole scene. I'm usually not the territorial type, but I wouldn't even blame MC for getting pissed--nobody likes to see other women ogle/grab at ya mans (especially when ya mans is Comte).

Also beginning to wonder if Comte has a certain interest in MC’s hair 🤔

(I see now, so that’s why)

Comte: MC

After hearing such a cute confession, my fingers moved from her hair to stroke her cheek.

Comte: It’s all right, you have nothing to apologize for. Besides which, I know how you feel--I’ve been jealous/frustrated plenty of times too.

MC: Oh…like when?

Comte: Always/All the time.

MC suddenly looks at me, looking as if she really hadn’t been aware of it.

Okay but when he just gives that flat expression and goes "ALWAYS" without hesitation, I nearly started wheezing with laughter. Petty and glamorous, I love him your honor it's not a phase!!!!

Comte: Today, for instance, that Baron who was in love with you from the moment you stepped into the hall. A young waiter brushed his hand against yours while handing you a champagne glass. Every time I see another man taken with you, my heart is agitated.

(Of course, it’s not limited to just today. It’s been like this ever since I fell in love with you…)

Comte: Rather immature for someone like me, isn’t it?

MC: Comte…

Comte: But now…I’m not the only one who feels that way anymore.

I wrapped my arm around her delicate waist and hugged her close, a sweet scent catching my attention.

Comte: Come, MC.

Just the thought of him seething because some random waiter brushed MC's hand literally just. Sent me. Like straight up astral projection, that is so much I had to stare at the nearest wall to cope. And like I'm not sure if it's the same guy, but I have to wonder if the Baron he's talking about is the one that hit on her in Comte's rt--because if that's the case, that would be hysterically funny. At the same time if it’s literally just some random dude that thought MC was pretty at first sight, that is somehow even funnier. Le Comte de "Peace was never an option" Saint Germain. Monsieur le “Don’t even think about looking at my wife. Walk away.” Comte.

I live for it, I love it, I regret absolutely nothing!!!!

I escort her to bed and sit with MC in my arms. I kissed her soft hair and laid my forehead on hers.

Comte: You belong to me, and I belong to you.

MC: Co--Abel…

She calls my name and settles against my chest, and I’m filled with such affection for her.

Comte: You’re so cute…Telling me all about the frustration and the bullying honestly. You’re so lovely I want to bite you.

"You belong to me, and I belong to you." SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP THAT'S SO ROMANTIC AND TENDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"You're so lovely I want to bite you." Do you promise. I want it in writing. 👁✒️

Then MC, who was silent as if she were thinking about something deeply, looks up--

Comte: …what is it, MC?

She pinches the skin of my neck between her lips and nips at me.

MC: I want to bite you too…I love Abel so much…

She keeps nipping at me, her soft lips nearly ticklish against my skin.

(I can’t believe you’re doing this…) NARUTO VOICE: BELIEVE IT!!!

She bit me lightly, and our eyes met.

MC: Am I the only one…allowed to do this to you?

Comte: Yes, of course…you can…bite me harder

So like. I'm aware I've already had several episodes in the process of recounting this birthday story and I apologize for the moments where I breach containment--But.

Bite.

Me.

Harder.

Wow, thanks, none of my thoughts are holy and I am forever changed. I am not going to heaven, and I'm okay with that. I lived, and that's what matters. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK--

Also yes MC, girl get it!!! Go MC, go!!!!!! Live your best life!!!!!! Get his ass!!!!!

I leaned back to give her more room and she nodded, digging her blunt little teeth into me. The slightest pain is followed by a feverish arousal that blooms from my chest outward.

(I want to bite you even now, I want to love you forever)

MC: Abel…

She called my name again, as if she could sense the urge rising from deep inside me.

MC: I’m the only one who you will bite one day.

Comte: …Of course

(I only want you)

The reversal/mirroring???? The intimacy????? Comte being blindsided but literally out of his mind in love?????? Help??????? It’s more than I can bear??????

This is especially insane to me on the level of like. The game is pretty clear about how biting your lover (at least for vampires) is a mutually understood sign of courtship. It’s a clear sign of who your lover is. And the fact that MC uses that sign to convey her feelings despite being human????? As the signal that she’s ready to fully be his and wants no one else to be able to interfere with that??????? Long time coming but also BWAH, BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH

The other part of the end that kills me is that. They make love. With her fully dressed. And sure not necessarily that notable out of context, HOWEVER. BECAUSE I NEED TO DIE ON THIS HILL. What he specifically says is:

I reach to undo her dress--before my hands freeze.

[Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.] (He’s remembering what he said before.)

Comte: I’ll make love to you as you are tonight. You’re dressed up to my liking, after all.

For those of you who haven’t seen the CG. MC. Is in a black dress. With sleeves that are see-through. Low cut bust. A long and visible thigh slit. With slight gold accents.

SIR. SHE IS DRESSED. TO YOUR LIKING????????????

At this point I’m convinced Cybird wants me to be in palpitations before the game ends for good. So much for Mr. Prim and Proper, I know you nasty Comte--

The rest of the bits are fairly raunchy so I’ll forgo that (let it be known simply that he is a firm believer in foreplay) but there are a few lines that I want to focus on.

(You haven’t the slightest idea how captivated I am, do you?)

[He asks her to say what he can only hear on his bday, and naturally she says happy bday.]

The heat of where our bodies are connected, her voice crying out for more, my heart and soul are on fire with the twin calls.

Comte: MC…

I kiss her tears away before connecting our lips with a smile…

Comte: I love you, too

(MC, you are the best gift of my life.)

With a feeling that is equal to eternity, I dropped my lips to her delicate neckline and…--

A lot to unpack here, but I will try (and fail) to remain composed as we go through each one.

“MC, you are the best gift of my life.” Like. Sincerely don’t even know how to approach this one. I have no clever witticisms. No trite commentary. Literally it is just beyond touching...[insert your preferred sobbing meme here]. It’s an odd feeling because honestly it doesn’t even feel like a surprise; his actions 100% substantiate what he’s expressed. It feels more like the inevitable culmination of his devotion up to this point. But there’s just something about the way it’s crystallized into that simple but enormous sentiment. That she was something unexpected, but not only welcome--accepted with such gratitude and joy. 11/10 I was not okay when I first read it and I’m not even okay now, every minute is half-catatonic.

And now to the question many of you probably have as you wait for me to address it. Did he..........b i t e bite her? The answer is I have no freakin’ idea. That’s where the story ends, and there’s no itemized specification as to how he bites her. But the phrasing keeps bothering me. If it were just another harmless love bite--as we’ve seen him do before--it’s never prefaced with “a feeling equal to eternity.” That kind of distinction is only made when he’s talking about how he changed the men into turned vampires when he found them.

Additionally, so many of his most recent stories have featured MC as a vampire (AU settings) but also in the most recent Christmas story (in the normal mansion setting), he gets extremely close to biting her for real--the closest I’ve ever seen, up to this point.

Granted all I can really do is speculate, but I will say it feels skewed in the direction of “holy shit he bit her for real, this is not a drill, LET’S GOOOOOOO Y O O O O O O”

I hope this summary was as cathartic for you as it was for me. But yeah!!! This is the vast majority of the contents ✌🏼💛

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp translation #ikevamp meta #ikevamp comte birthday #local comteologist speaks #honestly my life was before and after this event #it wasn't the most intricate one but it gave me Everything I've Ever Wanted #satisfaction factor? Immeasurable #man bite me harder #top ten phrases to make a woman lose her mind folks #I think the only thing I've seen in his stories recently that sent me half as feral #is when he asked her to lick his fangs mid-kiss #like 1. was not expecting that #2. once again none of my thoughts are holy why is that so insanely hot--#like its not even a groundbreaking concept but something about it just made me go crazy go stupid #how can one man be so considerate and affectionate but also just. devastatingly sexy #who gave him the right!!!!!#now if you'll excuse me im going to reread his cinderella collection event story and think about all my feelings #with regards from your favorite jester in love with comte #may you enjoy this rambling overview #and have a lovely rest of your night #not to ruffle any feathers but at this point i dont know how he's fooled so many people into thinking he's the dom/forthright type #(fooled people including me a short time ago)#i am seconds from kabedoning him myself--#also sorry for any weird formatting i swear tumblr was not cooperating (more than usual)

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