Bodaway Kanoska for @wildmelon's "Love at First Bite"

Admittedly, Bodaway is not great at being a vampire. Fine, scratch that: if Bodaway is being honest, he's actually not even "good" or "decent" at being a vampire and the few immortal beings he barely keeps in his microscopic circle never fail to remind him of this fact (much to his dismay). Feeding on mortals? Harrowing. The social aspect of clans and all the events that come with being a part of them? Painful at best. But immortality, as it turns out, kind of sucks when you isolate yourself for two centuries. So, yeah, perhaps it's time to take Paris and Nour up on their (years old) offer to connect Bodaway to "others like them" via a very exclusive social event in New York City.

More info (and some extra pictures) under the cut! ❤️

Commonly goes by: "Bodie" because it raises less eyebrows and is generally an "easier" name for people to pronounce and remember. That being said, he likes his full first name because it grounds him to his humanity and connects him to his Native American roots and culture. Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: "Unlabeled" (He sees a connection as a connection, he feels that gender identity wouldn't change anything and he has never given it much more thought than that!) Occult: vampire (master level with absolutely no ambition to wield any kind of power or influence in the vampire community). Age/birthday/star sign: Somewhere around 200 years old - he really stopped caring once he hit 150. He was turned around the age of 29; May 15th; Taurus Traits: loves the outdoors, loner, maker (+ some bonus gameplay-related traits such as responsible, happy toddler, etc. that relate to his life before he was a vampire). Education: finally got around to completing a high school education about 15 years ago (online, naturally). Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast Occupation: Currently does freelance work: refurbishing antiques and selling them, crafting furniture pieces from scratch. It's solitary work but it's soothing (and Bodaway likes working with his hands).

Some Lore:

Bodaway spent the first 50 years of his immortal existence on his own with one goal - finding the person who turned him. To confront them, to thank them... he wasn't sure. He traveled nonstop and met many vampires among many clans, but could only give them a vague description from memories formed while he was on the brink of death. Most of the interactions were dead ends and the more time that passed the more restless he became. Finally, he was advised to go to Germany and meet with noble vampires Nour and Paris who, apparently, had been alive much longer than most of their kind.

Although the Sadeks weren't able to track down the man who turned him, they were able to provide him with something much more important that he'd neglected for so long - conversation, compassion, a listening ear, and a home to stay in for a while. (I imagine Nour took a special interest in Bodaway due to him being so frail and all-consumed by anger when they met. After all, it isn't normal for a vampire to turn someone and then abandon them, leaving them to figure out immorality entirely on their own.) He hadn't realized how far he had strayed from his humanity, and he was terrified of his dark physical appearance (he was dirty, his hair unkempt, his skin had a gray pallor to it, there were even cracks forming in his skin). Although their lifestyle was vastly out of his comfort zone, it was grounding. Once he felt more like his true self, he promised he'd never go back to just feeding and surviving. He stayed with the pair for a few years, quietly minding his business and taking the much needed guidance on how to navigate his eternal existence moving forward. He's extremely thankful for everything they did for him and keeps in touch with them as much as he can manage (which for him is every few years, but what's a few years to an immortal being?).

Even after regaining some of his humanity and learning the ropes on how to be an immortal being in an ever-changing world, he still spent a lot of time viewing immortality as a disruption to the natural order. Sometimes he still sees himself as an animal, a monster even, and he deals with feelings of guilt that he evaded death while his family weren't given the same chance.

His family (5 sisters/3 brothers/mom/dad) died because of an animal attack while hunting and looking for shelter in the wrong place at the wrong time. Knowing what he knows now, he believes the attack was executed by a pair of werewolves, crazed by the full moon and set off by the presence of vampires on their turf. The small vampire clan included the man who turned him "out of compassion" when he was seconds away from death. But of course he doesn't know for certain all the details of what happened that night. At the time his family was attacked, none of them were even aware that such beings existed outside of stories and legends. He just has vague memories to go off of: markings on the fur, the uniquely enormous size of the animals, the nearly human eyes staring into him as their claws descended upon his body. He laid there, bleeding slowly and bones broken for hours...minutes? He's unsure. Then, in the early hours of the morning, he was approached by a well-dressed man with short fire red hair, freckled pale flesh, and eyes bluer than the clearest sky. The strangers eyes were clouded with unshed tears and something like uncertainty mixed with determination before he gently lifted Bodaway's head into his lap, lifted his limp wrist to his mouth, and the sting of teeth and warmth overtook him. His scars are from that attack. (Note that this doesn't impact the way he sees werewolves - he sees their instincts as no different than that of vampires or other immortal beings.)

With that being said, he does not sleep well most of the time, as he has to deal with night-terrors. He's got a lot of trauma, and he could probably benefit from speaking to a professional... but are there even vampire therapists? He's not so sure. He also is a guilty blood drinker - it exacerbates those "I'm a monster, I'm no better than the animals that killed my family" feelings. So he only drinks when absolutely necessary, and he prefers it to be with consent. But he doesn't mind drinking from blood bags - it isn't fresh, but it was ethically sourced and voluntarily given and that's good enough for him.

But he can't deny some of the benefits of his immortality - he's got inhuman strength and speed to match. Not just that, but he also has a certain charm about him that is undeniable. In his human life he faded into the background voluntarily - he's never been outgoing and he never trusted anyone enough to let his walls down completely. But ever since being turned, humans find themselves more drawn to him now (perhaps not a perk to him, but it could be for some people).

Unique to his kind, he has a reasonable resistance to sunlight (fortunate for him, a lover of the outdoors). It's a power that, in his belief, may have come from the vampire who turned him.

He lives minimally because that's really all he's ever known. His family lived simply, and he has been content with continuing that for himself. But he isn't judgmental about it: in fact, he would never look down on others who enjoy luxury or finer things because he does see the appeal. He'd be 100% open to living somewhere more lavish so long as he could do so ethically and have access to fresh air and a place to work outdoors from time to time.

He currently lives by himself in a modern, minimalist home he had built deep in a secluded area of the woods. (I imagine he lives somewhere like North Carolina, and his home looking something like this.) after his about a century he took in an enormous and gentle Rottweiler named Sunny, but he was devastated when he passed and hasn't gotten a new furry companion since. But he LOVES dogs (and all animals really). He wanted to be a veterinarian in his human life, but never pursued that after being turned. (But it's never too late, he hasn't closed that door completely!)

Because he is well traveled and has spent most of his life in isolation, clanless, he has had a handful of partners over the years - all human. But his relationships were never serious and he would intentionally keep them at arms length. He has always resisted opportunities for love, in part because he doesn't know if he deserves to be loved... but also out of fear for losing someone he loves. He already finds eternal existence to be a foreboding thing, but trying to do that with a broken heart seems like an impossible and cruel punishment to endure.

He's stayed away from dating other vampires as he's always dealt with the ethical quandary of believing he's a monster. So I think it would be kind of poetic and scary for him, falling in love with someone who shares the thing he detests in himself - because when Bodaway loves someone, truly, he would worship them. He doesn't see their faults. I think of this quote: "When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it." (poem here). And this would completely shake his view of himself. It would change so much for him.

Lastly, I will leave you with some lighter facts: I would describe him as rigid, quiet, and reserved around strangers and acquaintances but passionate, intense, loyal, and soft around those he loves. His favorite color is green. Physical touch & words of affirmation are his love language. He loves all outdoor activities (swimming, hiking, fishing, etc.) and is obviously very crafty (especially with woodworking). His tattoo is symbolic of a family heirloom (a broach passed down to each eldest daughter) and because his sisters and mother passed in the attack, he kept it but wears it in the form of his tattoo (it lives on with his immortal body). He was the oldest child in his family. Chocolate cosmos are his favorite flower.

ALRIGHT, I AM DONE. Whew. I'm so sorry, this is why I don't make occults often. I love lore, I eat occult backstories uppppppppp. You can take the girl out of her middle school vampire phase, but you can't take the middle school vampire phase out of the girl.

Below are 3 full body shots (everyday, formal, underwear/sleep) and a picture of the scars and tattoos on his back!

Private DL if chosen!

♡happy valentines day♡

it's not mine, i'm a terrible puppeteer!

Wesgoesbrr: The Game

previous //// next

You decide getting him onto the table with physical force will be a little more fun than resorting to drugs. Despite the obvious fear, the little bastard tries to fight you as soon as you cut him down. He probably thinks this is his one chance to escape.

He's right.

You strap him in, watching patiently as he thrashes uselessly against the metal restraints, waiting for him to realize he isn't going anywhere. Even when his movements cease, the terror remains in his eyes. He's seen your tools, your knives. He knows where this is headed.

"I--I don't know shit," he practically whimpers. "I don't know anything that's worth this, please--"

You hush him. "This isn't about information, sweetheart. It's about deterrence." You walk back to your tools, pulling out a small camera and a tripod, ensuring he can see them. "I'm gonna make sure everyone knows how much it can suck to be a Riot King."

@whumpsday , @turn-the-tables-on-them , @onlywhump , @whumpyauthortm , @whump-in-the-closet , @kira-the-whump-enthusiast , @whumpterful-beeeeee , @apokolyps , @whumpedydump , @isntthisblank , @sodacreampuff , @what-if-i-just-did

gotye, somebody that i used to know // olivia rodrigo, enough for you // taylor swift, cruel summer // lana del rey, ultraviolence // unknown source // lana del rey, hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have // richard silken, crush

a lot of the talk about Bushnell is reminding me of my "the "mentally ill" have their right to violence revoked" thing again

like. When you're deemed mentally ill, suddenly you must stress how you are more likely to be a victim of violence than a perpetrator to be deemed as human. Because any violence you commit, as a crazy person, is bad. It cannot carry rationale, because you are crazy. If I, as an autistic person, hit someone who was hurting me and got in legal trouble, I can be referred to as just "crazy" instead of as a victim responding to an aggressor. It's an underdiscussed area of dehumanization.

And that's before we talk about intersectionality, and before we talk about how this factors into the idea of ODD, and the "violent" responses patients have to doctors (including those who simply aren't white, and those forced on meds that hurt them, and those resisting sexual assault, and-).

But this is not just interpersonally political, it is political at scale. Black men were targeted by schizophrenia diagnoses during the Civil Rights era (and this is also around when schizophrenia became a "scary" illness). The crazy cannot have valid political criticisms, as a movement (remember that being "crazy" is a vector of oppression abd marginalization) or as individuals in other movements.

Ive seen both the sentiment of "oh Aaron is gonna be slandered as crazy" and exactly what the sentiment warns of- "we can't valorize suicide from the mentally ill". And the first isn't wrong, because society at large does view the "crazy" as lacking political agency, but it's lacking.

Bushnell had been trying very hard to get out of his military contract without being imprisoned at best, while witnessing genocide and knowing he was complicit. He may not have had clinical depression normally, but that would inspire a mental rational response of situational depression (and yes, mental health issues can be a rational response to horrible circumstances). Further, I know of instances of self immolation that WERE done by people who did have long standing mental health issues and were done to protest the treatment they'd experienced that caused them and that resulted from their existence. Mental illness and divergence from the norm is more complicated than just "these people are incapable of rationality, they are incapable of political thought, and they are incapable of agency".

something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.

like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.

When you listen to the funeral in Boléro when you're 19 and are fairly naïve and have been lucky enough that you've never had a death close to you, you think Hera doesn't understand "why they have to be gone" because she's an AI and she only has 4 years of life experience to go off and it's inevitably difficult for someone without a physical body to conceptualise death. But then you get a little older and things happen and you realise No, that's just what grief is like.

Hera thinks that it doesn't make sense to her because she's missing something, because there's something that her creators didn't put inside her head, or at the very least because she's never experienced that kind of loss before. She thinks there's something that can be explained to her that will make it easier to come to terms with the deaths of people who've been a part of her life. And Eiffel struggles for an answer, or rather a way to explain to her that there is no answer; "Hera, we don't… I don't know that there's… That's not what this -".

The truth is that there's nothing that Hera is missing. What is happening inside her head feels "wrong and stupid and wrong" because that's just how it feels when someone you know dies. That's how the other characters are feeling too, even if they express it differently.

Hera thinks that she feels the way she does because she's experiencing things differently to her human crewmates, but that's not really the case. She's just being the most honest about those feelings.

It's not an artificial intelligence grappling with human situations that she can't understand. It's a person struggling with grief in the way that any human struggles with grief.

Hera's feeling that she doesn't know how to deal with this, her inability to stop thinking about the fact that they're gone, her sense that there must be some set of instructions she wasn't given, her desperation for a way to make it better or easier, her plea for things to somehow make sense… It's all just so incredibly, heart-wrenchingly human and real.

so guess who figured out what the reasoning of her tooth pain was today with her dentist appointment? me. i figured out the nerve in one of my fillings is LITERALLY dying! did not know that would be a slap in the face for pain (would not recommend it to anybody; it's like passing a kidney stone in your face).

so while i'm home for today and tomorrow, i'm gonna get to more replies and HOPEFULLY get some more asks sent out. i'm hoping i can finally relax from the pain i've been dealing with for a week. AND make that positive post i forgot to make on Sunday. gotta put that together too.

So wait, Amy, what's this performance of the Nutcracker again? You said you donated to get the link?

Amy: Huh? Oh! [Amy blinks, coming out of their comfy stupor as they sit up straighter.] Amy: There's a local kids ballet group that practice down the street from me. It's little-little kids all the way up to teenagers. The person who started it is actually an acquaintance of mine, and she's pretty awesome, and they really work to sort of break a lot of the taboos and gross culture around ballet. That's why I make a point to donate every year! A nice little bonus is that anyone who does donate gets free tickets and a link to watch the recorded performance. I couldn't go to the actual show this year, unfortunately, so this is the first time I'm seeing how they did! [Shadow's brow slowly knots itself.] Shadow: What do you mean 'gross culture?' It's just dance? [Amy sighs.] Amy: It's not just *dance*, it's *ballet.* One of the worst disciplines of dance to get into. The expectations, the way they want you to literally break your body. My toes still get numb sometimes, and I know it's because of how I was trained. And don't even get me started on the diet culture, eugh... [Amy points at the screen.] Amy: These kids don't have that. Tristana, that's the artistic director, she makes a point to put health above everything else. See those kids? Look at their feet. There's all different shapes and styles there, not just the 'perfect point' feet. Plus, look at all the body types! Most ballet companies would only bring on petite 'dancer bodies.' Heck, even this performance of the Nutcracker- oh wait, I didn't tell you- okay so these kids work to make their own version of the Nutcracker every year. It's a big deal. Most companies just pay the royalties to do the Balanchine one because 'ooo, it's Balanchine, ooo,' but honestly, that guy can go- [There's another coo from Rosie, and Amy pauses. She drops her arm and wraps it around Shadow to scratch Rosie between the ears.] Amy: Well... he can go do several different things that I won't say in front of Rosie, because I don't want her getting a potty mouth. Shadow: I see...

Not the spiderverse art book restarting the dying down Hobie age discourse. With the Japanese version implying he’s a ‘young boy’(I think that’s what it was either way either way) and the book saying ‘he’s much older than miles..’(smth like that either way either way) and it’s like seriously? Again? AGAIN?

The directors said it’s up to interpretation. And the only reason(w/ the exclusion of the people thinking he’s like 30 cause that’s weird and gross, re-examine some racial biases)that people are so adamant he is or isn’t a minor is because of shipping! Whether it’s with one of the spider teens or with OCs or justifying self shipping it’s weird! It’s weird that that’s the reason people are going nuts over this shit and dying on their respective hills. And let people have their HCs holyshit.

And to reiterate: it’s not proshipping/pedoshit if someone HCs Hobie as a teen and ships them with one of the spider teens. It’s not necessarily fetishization and is not pedoshit if people HC him as a young adult and do self ships or whatever else goes on there.

It’s fandom let people fuck around. Something doesn’t have to be justified as morally wrong for you not to like it. Stop trying to force your own Head Canons, key word HEAD as in the canon in your head, onto other people.

Sorry for the rant I just cannot believe it’s still going.

Im in such an obey me mood today haha

other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)

im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves

So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out

And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/

Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho

Always very funny (read: annoying) to me how frequently people will say something like, "Oh, I love fucked-up fictional relationships, I love TOXIC ROMANCE, I need my ships to have Problems™ that would make even the most stoic adult cringe in shame" and then vehemently reject literally any fictional romantic dynamic that involves a woman being horrible.

hey tumblr, thanks for recommending me a TERF post "based on my likes." I hope the hour I spent blocking as many people as I could bear in the notes is enough of a hint for you.