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itchyeye · 3 months

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@apocalypticsinn replied to your post “ok. i'm giving the first episode a shot.”:

Oh noooOOOO welcome to hell :,) Alice remains like this the entire series btw and it just. It doesn’t get better. The newest episode I wanted to strangle her- I’m VERY interested in hearing your full thoughts on even just this first episode-!

whgau first thing's first i am touched to hear you're interested in my thoughts

ok so overall it was very bad. @socvinc is correct that the sound mixing is fantastic, especially contrasted against s1 of tma which was shoestring budget dogshit. but then again this new show was funded by a seemingly boundless supply of patreon dollars so it fucking better sound expensive!!

alice is absolutely insufferable. you could stick a classroom full of twelve year old bronies (and i mean the og 2010s bronies not the gen z post ironic queer reclamation kind) in front of a hundred typewriters for all of time and they would eventually produce every single thing that has ever come out of alice's mouth. sure, it seems like gwen and most other people are annoyed with her, so at least she isn't being treated as funny and charming in-universe!! but absolutely fucking impossible to listen to. will not be putting myself through more of that.

also, the general animosity and malaise is unearned. sure, we have all been at jobs where everyone is burnt out and nobody cares anymore. but there's a sort of creeping realization that comes with that. even if things are bad right off the bat, they still get worse as you familiarize yourself with your new surroundings.

to have your exposition be alice telling sam that nothing matters and there is no point to his job and everything is stupid and he shouldn't even be here just makes me hate her. it doesn't matter that she's doing it to give gwen a moment to shine and prove her diligence and dedication. it immediately makes alice a deeply unlikeable character. she is relentlessly negative and cynical and lazy and we have been given ZERO justification for why she would be so abbrasive to someone just starting a new career!! plus she's fucking annoying so the cards are REALLY stacked against her.

and the relentless gloomy bleakness of the Archives was so. so. so. earned. all of s1 had this slow slow sloooooow build up of tension and horror and false leads and red herrings and SUDDENLY WORMS. SASHA'S DEAD. TIDAL WAVE OF WORLD-ENDING WORMS. THREE DREAD POWERS AT ONCE. AND EVERYONE HAS PTSD AFTERWARDS AND STILL HAS TO COME IN TO WORK. JON'S GONE OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END. THEN S2. NO ONE CAN LEAVE. WE'RE ALL TRAPPED HERE LIKE RATS IN A SINKING SHIP.

the gloom and malaise and desperation is real and tangible and you are there with the characters as it builds. it's rewarding and dynamic. opening episode 1 with "everyone hates it here bc it's very spooky and bureucratic" is just a pale and unsuccessful immitation of the slowburn that MADE the archives what they were.

also the very first little mini statement was so lame??? no build up. no atmosphere. no character development. not even a short story, just a tumblr uquiz option. "i saw my husband but he was Shaped Wrong and also dead" jesus christ...

i might listen to episode 2 just because i have time to kill but being dropped into the middle of an office party gave me traumatic tma s5e1 flashbacks and i can't live through that again. one of my tmp anons who mentioned it was very office-banter based was SOOOO right. the majority of the episode felt like those incorrect-quotes accounts that clog up tumblr search results. just people i don't know and voices i don't recognize having weird try-hard conversations.

oh that's another glaring difference: the dialogue and voice acting in tma feels incredibly natural. the way conversations are written and the way they are performed feels believable, like listening to recordings of people who do not know they're being recorded. the conversations in tmp feel like watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s in that every line feels really rigidly scripted. no one talks over one another. no sounds overlap. there are no natural sounding pauses or stutters. just bad sitcom dialogue. BUT as i said to anon.... that's what the people want.

overall feels like an ogfic "inspired by" tma that i would have no interest in reading. a pale immitation of lightning in a bottle.

can't say i blame them. we all have bills to pay. but i can say i resent them.

#apocalypticsinn #[💌] asks and replies #protocol

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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year

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Hello, @a-mag-a-day. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

Statement of landscaping-your-mind regarding episode 160 of The Magnus Archives.

Statement begins.

So, from all the stuff I scheduled for today you can probably tell I really like episode 160 of The Magnus Archives, right? Like, good lord, it is... it is a time. (Also, the words were really good (and also there's poetry) so :D incentive!)

Firstly, though, I have to say something. It's not the Watcher's Crown. The Watcher's Crown is the ritual Jonah Magnus attempted years ago. This is unnamed in canon, but Jonny said it could've been called The Magnus Archives.

Secondly... I would like to draw your attention towards the description of the youtube version of this episode. (to paraphrase)

The Magnus Archive discovers that some escapes are a lot easier than others.

Ahahahahaha AHAHAHAAHAHAH WHAT-

I hate this so much. Like, with a burning passion. "The Magnus Archives discovers that some escapes are a lot easier than others" COME TO MY HOME AND KILL ME YOU COWARD! It just hurts, it just... hurts.

He can escape London, but he can't escape his ✨ purpose ✨

You ever think about how The Magnus Archives follows the story of Magnus' Archive? I do. A lot. I haven't even started listening yet, god, this episode am I right?

MARTIN (Joking) Or, (huffed laugh) or it is, and she just cleaned it up really well. (They both make uncomfortable chuckles) ARCHIVIST …Yes. (The Archivist makes an uneasy noise)

THEYRE BOTH SO AWKWARD THEY HAVEN'T TALKED TO A NORMAL HUMAN IN OVER A YEAR

Just their really awkward laughter, oh my godd they're so endearing your honour, I'm so glad this episode and TMA ends at the 5 minute mark (< in denial)

ARCHIVIST Hopefully a long way out there. (soft) But I think we’re okay

THEY ARE IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR

I just love how soft Jon's voice gets around Martin, like, like, eeeee i just love them i love them they're the reason im aro bc i know i will never love someone romantically as much as jmart loves each other /j

MARTIN Oh, n-no, not yet. I was actually gonna head down into the village to go pick something up?

Ooooh yay I get to share my "where are they in scotland" headcanons! I think they're near Dunnet, because it's pretty far north and in the Highland area, and it's also got allegedly the only full time gunshop north of Inverness, and... yknow, it is Daisy's safehouse.

ARCHIVIST Anyway, don’t tell me the phonebox down there doesn’t appeal to your retro aesthetic.

your honour they're lightheartedly teasing each other <3

ARCHIVIST I’ll be fine.

SOFT!

(update im wrtinging with a cat on my lap now hes big. im balancing my computer on my leg.)

MARTIN I assume it’s her attempt at a- a, a varied diet? Eating your greens, you know? ARCHIVIST (Amused) Probably. (reassured) I’m sure it’ll work fine

hhh them <3 it's just like they're so... they're happy. they're so happy, and it's like nothing gold will stay or whatever

they had such a short amount of time

i wish they were ok

MARTIN …I will give you some privacy. Go for a walk. ARCHIVIST (Warmly) Let me know if you see any good cows. MARTIN Obviously I’m going to tell you if I see any good cows.

I'm...

them being happy is almost worse, right. because what once was a surprise we now know will happen, we have to deal with the dread, and it's all bitter now, the happiness is rotten because of what lurks after.

some people can listen to the first five minutes and feel okay, but me?

for me it just hurts.

ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) (Pleasantly) Statement of Hazel Rutter regarding a fire in her childhood home. Original statement given August 9th, 1992. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. Statement begins.

He sounded so happy... he sounded so happy.

This is the first time he's happy before he reads a statement. He was happy, he was hiding from the police and the hunters and Daisy and Not!Sasha with his boyfriend in Scotland. And then, and then Jonah Magnus comes in and decides to end the world like a bastard.

I don't want to hit play. I don't want to know what comes next. I want to stop listening. I want Jon and Martin to be okay. I want it to be the real statement of Hazel Rutter.

I just want it to be the real statement of Hazel Rutter.

I get it, right, horror tragedy! This was the desired effect. I am supposed to be feeling these emotions. These emotions being very sad. Well done to Jonny, lovely writing. Fantastic! I love TMA with my whole heart. I think that it's fantastic. I don't want to hit play though. I'm here for the characters suffering, I got in through The Hermit Archives, I wanted more of the horror! I am here for suffering! I'm here for the suffering. I'm hitting play.

Statement of Jonah Magnus regarding Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. Statement begins.

He could have just ended the world. Like, the whole... forcing Jon to monologue about all the times he was manipulated into furthering Jonah's plan? That's fucked. That is fucked. Just put the ritual there you slimy piece of shit!

It’s rare that you get the chance to monologue through the voice of another, and you can’t tell me you’re not curious.

*me to my dog, in the "talking to a dog" voice* You wanna kill him too! Hey! You wanna kill him too!

Like, okay, so you're Jon and you're reading this statement and you can't stop, and this bastard says "you can't tell me you're not curious." Tell me that's not going to make him think that if he tried a little harder then he would've been able to stop reading. Tell me that's not going to make him think that a part of him wanted to end the world, and that's why he's still reading. Tell me that's not going to make him blame himself even more.

The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable transformation was to bring it about myself.

He's so bloody arrogant. He puts himself above the entire world. It makes sense, he's from Regency era England, but like, it's still... really awful. Awful person.

Beyond that, I was getting older, and mortality began to weigh more heavily on my mind. How much in this world is done because we fear death, the last and greatest terror?

When I fear death I distract myself, not try to end the world. Like, this guy is just so evil. His only redeeming quality is being funny sometimes.

Everyone dies, Jack Magnet, you just chose to be a bastard about it.

Of course, I had to make sure the location was kept under my control while I worked on revising my plans, and so I moved the organization I had founded to assist in my research down to London, and the Institute as you know it, was born.

Right, so The Magnus Protocol's Magnus Institute was located in Manchester, and I'm not an expert on the geography of the United Kingdom, and basically know nothing about Manchester, bar that it has the... football, I want to say, team Manchester United? I don't know how I know that. But it seems as though Jonah Magnus didn't attempt his ritual, or attempted it some other way in that universe.

You see, the role of Archivist has been part of the Beholding for as far back as my research can go. This isn’t uncommon for the Powers; most of the beliefs around them are guesswork and fallible human interpretation, but there are certain through lines and consistencies that can be spotted, regardless of the trappings.

I wonder what the others are. The Dancer could be one - The Dancer in The Unknowing. I think Jonny said in a QnA, but you know, the author is dead, he's speaking to us posthumously, that The Architect could have been one. Not sure what others. If y'all have any ideas... 👀

More than once I thought she must secretly be of the Hunt; but there was never that sick joy in her, that thrill of predator and prey. She had simply decided that this was her position in life, and went about it with a practicality that even I found disconcerting at times.

Ok, Mr. Jonah "orchestrates twelve traumatising events for this one guy and gets him to end the world" Magnus. He cannot talk, he cannot talk at all. Sure, she sacrificed people, but she wasn't malicious. She did it for a cause. Did she believe she was good? I'm not sure she cared.

Jonah Magnus is just awful for his own self gain.

You see, the thing about the Fears is that they can never be truly separated from each other. When does the fear of sudden violence transition into the panic of hunted prey? When does the mask of the Stranger become the deception of the Spiral? Even those that seem to exist in direct opposition rely on each other for their definition as much as up relies on down. To try and create a world with only the Buried makes as much sense as trying to conceive a world with only down.

Gerry's colour explanation makes a lot of sense if you don't conceive of it as a traditional colour wheel. They're growing out in every direction, they all overlap with each other.

Sure, the fear of The Eye may seem in direct opposition to the fear of The Stranger, but let's take Jon, for instance. Is it not sort of Stranger to have some guy in a coffee shop staring at you with his autistic eyes, a person you don't know, but who definitely knows you?

What about the fear of The Buried and the fear of The Vast. Episode 195 covers that pretty handily. They're all interconnected with all of the others. Separating them makes them easier to understand (and invertedly makes them actually separated), but it isn't them, not truly. They are connected intrinsically.

Even the coffin! The fear of being alone in the dark is a part of the coffin.

Because the thing about the Archivist is that, well, it’s a bit of a misnomer. It might, perhaps, be better named: The Archive. Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, Jon. You are a record of fear, both in mind as you walk the shuddering dread of each statement, and in body as the Powers each leave their mark upon you. You are a living chronicle of terror.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. The Archivist is something... defined by how they feed their patron, but The Archive is defined by how they've been hurt to bring it into the world. He's not defined by even a person-like role, he's something molded by Jonah Magnus' desires to end the world.

I wrote a little poem about it, which I shall share here, because I am cringe but I am free, unlike Jon. RIP

He's not a person with a name, He's a vessel of destruction, He's not a person who feels pain, It's necessary for production, That he's scarred and marked, By things that lurk in the dark, Believe himself useless, Or it'll be fruitless, And at the end of the day, He's no person, no name, He's a plan that has come to fruition.

Also, he calls himself The Archivist, perhaps viewing himself as... something that hurts others, rather than something that is hurt for a purpose.

I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but my god, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as a sort of implicit blessing on my whole project and, do you know what, I think it was.

"I chose you" "I'll admit, my options were somewhat limited" Mr. Magnet, he was chosen by the web. Jonah's just not afraid to be puppeted.

So, when Jane Prentiss attacked, I watched eagerly, one hand on the gas release from the start.

This line fucked me up. "One hand on the gas release from the start." Just... like it just sticks in my mind. How he held all their lives in the palm of his hand, how he let Sasha die, and Tim get eaten by worms, because he wanted his bloody perfect Archive.

One hand on the gas release from the start, while all of them almost - or did - die(d).

Like, what gets me is how fucked up Jon was afterwards, how he was asking everyone for their statements, shutting them up before they got to the part where they'd mention Jon and Tim getting eaten with worms. What gets me is how Elias was there and Jon was what, looked like a bloody mummy! He didn't have second thoughts when he saw...

He knew everything. He saw everything. He saw how fucked up Jon was over e v e r y t h i n g. (everything)

That's what gets me.

Between the stabbing and at least two desperate flights into its door, you’re marked very deep by the Spiral.

And, you know, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the betrayal. I saw an interesting post on this, but I can't seem to find it. I'll look in the posts I've rbed tagged TMA meta, I'll link it in a reblog if I find it.

Honestly, I had nothing to do with Melanie and her Slaughter adventure, but when I saw the situation, I made sure to trap her here, so whenever her rage bubbled over you were right there, a ready target.

You know after Jon's second kidnapping that could have totally been resolved how Jonah made Jon stand in front of Melanie while she wanted to kill Jonah with a knife, and how it's like oh, right, yeah, use Jon as a bloody meat shield to get her angry at him, make him the scapegoat, that was intentional. It was intentional to destroy everyone in the Archives' interpersonal relationships, and then have Jon. A ready target for hatred and vitriol.

How is Martin, by the way? He looks well. You will keep an eye on him when all this is over, won’t you? He’s earned that.

I think that Jonah Magnus should eat shit and die.

The power of the Ceaseless Watcher flows through you, and the time of our victory is here.

If you replace the Ceaseless Watcher with Determination then it reads like an Undertale save.

* The power of Determination flows through you, and the time of our victory is here.

Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here, in the world that we have made.

This also ties in with the above, I hate that he says "our victory" "the world that we have made." Jon didn't consent to this, Jon didn't want this, Jon was made to be an unwilling conduit of the apocolypse and Jonah Magnus is insinuating that he chose it, the victim blaming little prick!

You who watch and know and understand none. You who listen and hear and will not comprehend. You who wait and wait and drink in all that is not yours by right. Come to us in your wholeness. Come to us in your perfection. Bring all that is fear and all that is terror and all that is the awful dread that crawls and chokes and blinds and falls and twists and leaves and hides and weaves and burns and hunts and rips and bleeds and dies! Come to us. I OPEN THE DOOR!

GREAT INCANTATION! 10/10! And it's actually recitable, unlike the TBI one.

ARCHIVIST Look at the sky, Martin. Look at the sky. It’s looking back.

That is a fucking fantastic final line of the episode. All of it, four seasons leading up to this moment. Look at the sky. It's looking back.

Fuck dude!

(The Archivist begins a fractured, delirious, humourless, laugh that does not end)

That laugh.

That laugh is just... haunting. I love it so much. It makes me want to cry. I used to have it saved on my phone and I'd just listen to it over and over and over again and get more and more disturbed and heartbroken.

That laugh. That broken, horrific laugh.

I can't get over it.

And thus ends season 4 of The Magnus Archives. With a broken laugh in front of a window, leading out to the doomed world.

Episode 160 is quite possibly my favourite metaplot episode of The Magnus Archives, the way the whole plan was revealed, the awful manipulations that were exposed... that laugh.

I leave you all to think on this. To think on the Archive née the Archivist née Jonathan Sims, laughing at the world he has unwillingly and unwittingly doomed.

Goodnight, a-mag-a-day, goodnight. /ref

#tma #tma meta #the magnus archives #the magnus archives meta #mag 160 #jonah magnus #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #tma spoilers #tma s4 spoilers #a mag a day #i am so abnormal about this episode you do not even know #well i think you do now-#landscaping your mind chapter one

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theallegedbird · 5 months

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LITERALLY

For example "6up 5oh (cop out)" IS LITERALLY THAT ONE POLICE EP FROM S5 where Jonny said the disclaimer at the beginning OR or bro c'mon literally "dr sunshine is dead" is about the dark OR "hand me my shovel, I'm going in" is about the buried or I personally connect "Mr. capgras encounters a second-hand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to fusiform gyrus)" to the stranger bc he keeps singing "you're trying to replace yourself" which I think really fits and also the song "skeleton appreciation day in vestal, my (bones)" also reminds me of the buried but also a bit of Jane Prentiss/the infestation and the jarchivist himself and also the rot yezyez the rotting too and also the beginning of the song "front street" where he sings about the slaughterhouse and meat...yes It's the flesh and the slaughter!!!!

And bro c'mon will wood is just so bbgirl his songs just fit SO WELL it's almost as if he wrote them specifically for tma

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm low-key obsessed with him and I don't even listen to all the songs (I have the entire "everything's alot" album downloaded >I love it really mutch + a few other ones so I hope this counts ❤️)

Have a nice day btw love youuu❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I hope I didn't squish your brain to death with this friggin paragraph I just wrote :'] )

[ID of image in ask: a screenshot of a caption of a tumblr post by theallegedbird that the ask is responding to, it reads "memento mori- will wood, i can and will find a way to relate every ww song to tma istg". End ID]

NO LITERALLY,, YOU ARE SO RIGHT

kind of got carried away so um. long post

completely agree and feel the same about 6up 5oh cop out, dr sunshine is dead and mr capgras

6up 5oh cop out to me especially could be linked to daisy and the guy you mentioned as well as the hunt as whole because of both of them being heavily tied to and criticising the police/police brutality

warning for discussion of eds in this paragraph

skeleton appreciation day for me is the flesh,, dont get me wrong i can see your ideas too but i always interpreted the song as being about eds and negatively/unhealthily watching your weight in order to achieve "the perfect body" by society's standards; by being skinny,, "tell me you can see my bones" , "to cut down on my silhouette" and the whole end dialogue, so that fits into the flesh for me considering another situation of someone wanting the "ideal body" is something that is discussed in a flesh statement (mag90-bodybuilder), but i can see some themes in the song that can could be corruption, plus both the flesh and corruption are pretty closely linked at times (and smirkes system is just inaccurate to begin with)

dr sunshine is dead is as you said the dark to me,, in the sense of someone maybe becoming an avatar (song starts with narrator afraid of the dark/not knowing and ends with them embracing it) but also could be seen as the stranger or even spiral because of its themes (like most of ww's work) involving identity and the self

for hand me my shovel,, may i propose it is also s2 jon coded. very s2 jon coded. it is very much his paranoid need for the 'truth'. do you. do you get me

id also like to propose some other ww songs that are also extremely tma coded,, to me

blackboxwarrior!! ok stick with me but yknow that one dialogue bit that starts "hello, welcome. why don’t you take a seat?" that whole section. thats og elias and jonah in elias' interview. do you see the vision. its them. i always take it as jonah being the narrator when looking at this song with tma in mind,, with the "you’ve lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you’ll be fine" and "for what it’s worth if it was going to kill you, boy, it would have by now" being directed at jon. please say im not insane for this i. i listen to this song a lot.

on the topic of jon and jonah your body my temple. because. because hes using jon as a pawn,, "your visage my visions" (i know this songs about sydney and elijah ch&t but can be tma too. if you think about it)

again with jon and jonah (i despise jonah and the godforsaken thing that is jonelias but their dynamic is so interesting) laplaces angel,, dont know how to put this one into words but do you Get It,, could be both or either of them really,, certain lyrics include: "it doesnt take a killer to murder it only takes a reason to kill", "the difference twixt fate and free will is whether youre singing", "whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, youd walk the same damn miles i do"

against the kitchen floor could also be jmart,, especially these parts: "i just havent learnt to be as human as you are yet", "i still dont know who you are, only that im still lonely", "apologizing for my life and ever entering yours" "im not a good person, im barely a person at all"

cicada days,, jon. jon coded. i really want ro make something with especially the in case i die live show version bc it just fits. so well. "it just feels inhumane to lose this much", "let all my red flags fade to white yeah i give up", and biggest one to me "here at the end of days, my god what have i done?" as in mag160,,

cotard's solution is the stranger,, again with the identity

there’s more but i’ve just realised how long this already is so ima leave it there

pff sorry for hijacking your ask but i’m a sucker for media analysis and any opportunity to do that with not one but two of my special interests causes me to black out and the autism to take over <33

also you’re so real for everything is lot,, favourite album

have a great day or night :D

#id in alt #not really comfortable talking about front street #yes its one of my favourite ww songs but the actual meaning of it isnt something i want to discuss throughly on here #tma #the magnus archives #will wood #wwattw #asks #avery rambles #long post #cw eds #cw eating disorders

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tiredstressedemotionalmess · 1 month

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okay tma episode one lets go lets go before i start heres a list of shit ive picked up about this show via my mutuals (copy/pasted directly from my notes app) (under the cut bc its kinda long)

- uhhhh eyes?? so many eye motifs everywhere and i fuck with it heavily

- the fanart is so fucking good holy shit

- from what i can tell. the plot is essentially guy with the best job ever imo (archivist) has the Worst Time Ever bc the supernatural bullshit he's archiving has decided to cause problems on purpose

- theres a dude named martin and a dude named john and im pretty sure theyre gay for each other??? idk which one is which tho its never who i think it is when i see fanart

- im pretty sure all the people who work at this archive together fucking hate each other?? like not really but They Do? or something??

- ik theres like a long list of normal everyday shit that fucks ppl up after listening to certain episodes but the only one i can remember off the top of my head is worms? i think??? or maybe ants?? and maybe also teeth????

- theres someone named alice i think and people make her seem cool

- also a gerard. and potentially a gerry? it remains unclear to me weather or not theyre the same person

- stars off episodic and then hits you in the face with an overarching connected narrative

- the ceaseless watcher???? <phrase i see a lot

(these last two i added earlier today)

- fears??? something about loneliness and some shit called the eye and i think i remember a spiral being mentioned? i think theyre gods perhaps??

- you can become an avatar (?) for a fear? read the wiki got confused but it sounds like you channel the powers of whichever one youre connected to to do its bidding. sort of like a patron god mixed with possession? there seems to be a Process you have to undergo to become an avatar but i something i read implies to me that it doesnt have to be intentional and you can accidentally become one so

#is any of this accurate? who the hell knows #i actually have quite a lot of tma mutuals which is part of the reason why i wanna liveblog this shit #marz's tma speedrun #<the dumb liveblog tag ive settled on bc i need to listen to podcasts in quick succession otherwise i Will get distracted forget about it #for months and never finish

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itsraining-pebbles · 8 months

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combining both my special interests by assigning qsmp characters to the tma entities

Badboyhalo: End because grim reaper + edgy as fuck, BUT he is still very Eye aligned because all of the ordo is, but also hes paranoid and keeping a man in his basement for information with are very eye coded things to do

Cellbit: f!cell was probably under the influence of the Flesh bc cannibalism but q!cellbit is so very Eye coded. this man is the definition of an Eye avatar. the only thing more Eye than q!cellbit is the Eye itself

Roier: Web

Hombre Mysterioso: Dark bc like his name literally has mystery in it so its a lil bit obvious

Jaiden: Lonely marked in the saddest way possible. especially after bobby died, shes isolated herself a lot and she hasnt strongly connected with many people, and she feels like she can only really trust herself bc of everything with the federation

Foolish: Vast. hes a shark with lightning (also immortality in general is very vast coded)

Bagi: VERY Eye coded. probably hates the Flesh too

Etoiles: Hunt and the whole thing with his arm getting all weird is just him getting so deep into the Hint that its started changing him

Baghera: Eye avatar

Forever: Hunt bc wolfboy. but the Happy Pills were a Spiral thing

Pac: Lonely. like look at his whole arc rn. Lonely

Tubbo: i cant explain it but he gives off Buried vibes. like its not because of anything, he just seems like a Buried guy

Slimecicle: Spiral bc hes insane + funny

Philza: End. this man is literally the angel of death and his wife is the goddess of death. i dont think i need to justify it

Wilbur: Slaughter bc music and lovejoy as grifters bone would be great and no i dont care that wilbur doesnt fit the actual Slaughter qualifications because he fits the aesthetic and thats all that matters to me

ElQuackity: deffo Stranger bc ElQuackity is basically just a Not!Quackity

Federation workers: Stranger. its literally a bunch of ppl without faces idk what to tell you

Federation: Web or Stranger i cant decide

Ordo Theoritas as a whole: Eye coded

#tma #qsmp #sammy rambles #sometimes youre bored so you gotta merge your two interests #and sometimes that means assigning the different entities to the qsmp characters

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horce-divorce · 2 months

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"Trans men don't need an intersectional word that goes beyond "transphobia" because being a man is not an oppressed identity, it's easier for them to get resources, and they're not affected by transmisogyny"

Words spoken by people who have never met another GNC person offline (or another trans person who wasn't white) even once tbqfh. And yeah access to those spaces is difficult and often gatekept to shit so I don't think that's anyone's fault, esp not transfems. Your brutal exclusion is never your fault. Still, I think it is possible to have these CRUCIAL conversations about transmisogyny and how transfems are affected... without making sweeping statements about what other trans people do or do not experience. It might be easier for people to check their transmisogyny if they could understand how it does in fact affect them sometimes, their behavior, language, and the spaces they frequent, in addition to how it perpetuates this awful exclusion. Being hypervisible and yet constantly excluded IS something that transfems should have a word for. That IS something I do not understand the pain of as a transmasc. It must make them feel utterly insane. By all means, coin more words! It enriches these conversations when we can relate to each other more and we have more language for the discussions we're having. We want to tear down the walls keeping us apart, not build more.

to be clear, I don't think tma/tme are "unnecessary." Transmisogyny is real and transfems do really experience uniquely awful shit, especially from within the community. But that in an of itself is not a unique experience. Being excluded from "women and nonbinary only spaces" is actually not a uniquely transfem experience. So many transmascs do NOT benefit from patriarchy and I am tired of this claim coming from non-transmascs.

HOW we all get policed by our in-groups presents differently, but policing each others experiences is not something that bridges understanding. And I'm sorry but in 3 years of this convo I've not once seen someone bring up tma/tme to discuss transfems without entirely dismissing swaths of other queer people in the process. Maybe im not seeing the good faith takes, idk.

A lot of other bad-faith misinformation is STILL getting passed around about the coiner of the term "transandrophobia" and what it supposedly means, and how the term itself is transmisogynistic. None of that ever matches up with what I actually see in transandrophobia discussions. I see a lot of diverse people discussing and relating to transandrophobia, specifically a lot of tpoc and intersex people, even a lot of transfems. The people who talk ABOUT 'transandropobia truthers' present a much different idea of the discourse we're having than what i actually see. That inconsistency is a red flag for me.

Tldr i think the concept of tma/tme is fine actually, but I disagree with the usage of the term tme specifically. Terms describing what tma/tme are getting at AND transandrophobia can and should coexist. These are not mutually exclusive ideas actually. apparenrly i cant bring up one without addressing the other bc nobody has good faith conversations anymore.

Basically just. Please don't tell me what I have or haven't experienced, and I won't claim to know your pain intimately, either. we can still relate to each other over the ways we've been let down. I feel like that should be the goal, not determining who does or does not deserve to use certain words.

Also as an asexual, the whole "transandrophobia truther" dismissal feels eerily similar to the rampant ages-old acephobia from tumblr we know and love. You guys love mocking "novel" (to you) discourse and then 5+ years down the line acting like you weren't telling us to commit sepukku for suggesting that ace people can be oppressed for our orientation because we "don't even experience sexual attraction and you cant be oppressed for something you dont experience."

self determination is important for all of us for many reasons. I won't tell anyone else what words to use for themselves. If you're TMA youre TMA, end of story. But dont tell me by definition that makes me TME or that I have to use terms I feel are incomplete or inadequately describe my own experience. I'm not asking anyone else to do that.

Anyway.

#me #like. whether or not i am tme is not something anyone can decide for me #any more than they can decide if im queer or transsexual or nonbinary or demisexual or anything es #else*#likewise if transandrophobia is real in my experience. you dont really get to tell me its not!#i know who i am and what ive been thru and what i relate to better than anyone else does. thanks.#i didnt actually want to weigh in on tme/tma cause it feels like not my business for the most part #but people KEEP insisting that i am TME and must use the word whether i like it or not #sorry but thats not very queer of you

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frayedcircus · 7 months

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Whatcha thinking about rn?

i like horror, but you know what i like more than horror? what happens after the horror. what happens to the ones who survive.

an experience like that leaves you pretty messed up, especially if the events were in some way supernatural. like what are you gonna do when a demon kills all your friends? the cops show up and find you covered in blood, surrounded by bodies and you’re gonna tell them it was a demon? a monster? a ghost? there is no way they’ll believe you. and if they don’t think it was you, you’ll probably get institutionalized for telling people what really happened.

but if you choose to lie, keep the magical business a secret, you’re left with this horrible truth rotting a hole into your mind. you can reason away the events, try to forget it, but something like that will never really fully leave you. maybe you manage to block out at least the ghost parts, but those memories, that fear, will always be lingering in your subconscious. you will always, in the back of your mind, know.

and you’re suck with this. alone. everyone else who would fully believe you is dead. anyone you tell might apprehensively listen to your story, but they can’t fully believe you. how could they? they weren’t there. they didn’t see it all. but you did. only you did. you’re alone in this truth, no one to tell, no one to talk to who would really listen.

it’s a special kind of loneliness, the isolation that comes with such a burning secret.

(tma the lonely tma the lonely???? i could talk a lot most abt how this ties in specifically with the lonely from the magnus archives)

the horrors you experienced cast a shadow over your whole life, your whole future. what’s the point of anything if there are demons and monsters and horrible evil things beyond mortal human powers? college certainly seems insignificant in the face of an eternally hungry evil.

it’s interesting to see how traces of these themes show up in media that isn’t horror as well. children’s media where the teen main character discovers another world? so often in those stories, keeping this discovery a secret from their family and the rest of the world is a major point of distress. We see them bonding with people in this new world, but when they inevitably have to return to their own dimension, of course it’s so much harder for them to connect with their peers or participate in normal activities. befriending jessica seems a lot less significant now that you’ll never be able to share with her this place that is so important to you. history class or ballet lessons dont seem so useful when you’re learning to cast spells with your new fairy friends.

in more recent media(i’m thinking of two specific cartoons that i won’t name bc spoilers), the main characters share a lot more with their family and friends, and they’re mainly very supportive and loving which i find really nice. it helps the main character feel grounded in their own world and less isolated.

anyway back to horror movies, so many of them cut off right after the “final girl” is saved, which i think is a real shame. i knowww i know the main plot is over and the after stuff isn’t really necessary but MAN is it interesting. show me the survivor going back to school and not being able to find words for what happened when someone asks. show me them debating how much to tell their family and friends. show me them trying to return to normal and ignore how everything feels hollow. show me them struggling and healing and falling apart. pls and ty.

(also like two hours ago i saw a guy with the LONGEST pair of wireless earbuds i’ve ever seen and i’m still reeling from how strange they looked)

#TLDR: grrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggrrrrr foaming at the mouth exploding shaking running in circles #MAYBE this is abt the magnus archives #but also maybe this is just bc i watched a horror movie recently #or maybe it was all those scary story readings i’ve been listening to #or maybe it’s just october!#how am i supposed to tag this #rambles #horror #tma #tma lonely #horror movies #the lonely #asks

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nothorses · 6 months

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Asking on anon because I don't feel like getting fucking lambasted by both radical sides of this. But I think they're are some folks that talk about transandrophobia (not you, baeddel-txt, etc) that are starting to pick up on toxic masculinity in the same way TIRFs picked up on TME/TMA shite and the like. (I have it on my blog but only because I'm tired of getting a toss up treatment from shallow transfems and getting reduced to either a cis man or them insinuating I'm not who I say I am, and the like. Frankly as of today I'm muting all of the related tags on both sides because frankly... I need a break).

I agree with y'all just like, be aware of it just like transfems should be aware of our own problems.

I also dislike the whole TIRFs "reclaiming" baeddel as a.) It's literally a ye old slur for intersex people (re: tfems having a problem with fetishizing intersex people, speaking from personal experience here)

b.) it reads like a far inferior version of reclaiming the tslur, which tbh, I would just prefer if they did that.

Also I guess if you ask this and you care so much about who's sending this, I'll reveal myself, just don't make it public because I don't need to be getting harassed by TIRFs for being a weird reject because I just choose to be both a girl and a boy identity wise and clearly the everything not binary fem phobia (even if I meet the criteria of not "CAFAB" to them.) they have is still clearly alive and well considering I took a soft ban 3 months ago for it. (After getting a full ban rolled back bc of staff reviewing it.)

The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem both pre and post coming out, but also everything else going with it.

That's not to say that there isn't some areas where it can be disproportionate. I also don't understand the obsession with violence statistics when a.) It shouldn't be happening period and b.) I don't think either side is accurately reported, really, unless it's entirely relying on self reporting. Also c.) I don't know how much of violence on trans SWers is reported in that, i could see it being even or even mildly trans fem biased, not statistically significant though.

I'll be honest here in that I am not 100% sure I'm understanding you correctly, but it sounds to me like you're making a couple of different points that I'd love to be able to engage with- I think I just need some clarification first so I can make sure I'm not completely misinterpreting what you're trying to get across.

So like, if it's cool, I would love a follow-up ask to clarify a couple of things!

What are folks doing with "toxic masculinity" that you feel is similar to what TIRFs have done with TME/TMA? My understanding would be that TME/TMA were turned into a kind of definitive label that people use to determine who's allowed to speak on certain issues, who's "oppressed enough" to matter, etc., but I don't really see a way that parallels "toxic masculininity" among folks who talk about transandrophobia. Unless you mean that people are distancing themselves from the possibility of being masculine in a toxic way on the basis of their identity? (If that's the case, I think I'm misunderstanding the connection to TME/TMA)

Could you expand on: "The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem"? I think the sentence after that muddied what you meant, for me, and I'm curious what insights you have there!

Also RE: statistics, I really agree that there need to be more studies and research into these issues in order to get any real sense of clarity. IMO the best uses for statistics of violence and discrimination against trans people, specifically stats that tell us who is facing what kind of discrimination, is to better understand the systems causing us harm in order to work towards dismantling them.

Trying to determine "who has it worst" overall is pointless and self-defeating. The goal should be to understand why transmascs tend to face more lifetime sexual violence, while transfems tend to face more childhood sexual violence. Not to decide which issue to give a shit about and which issue to ignore, or which trans people "deserve" to be prioritized over all the others.

I will also say that the study I draw from more than others is the U.S. Transgender Survey, which relies on self-reporting. I recommend checking them out if stats interest you; they're pretty expansive and had a massive sample size. The 2015 results have been published for a while, and 2022 results are coming soon.

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therainbowtea · 26 days

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HIHIHI!!!!! i just read your TMA jmart sickfic rn and it is. OUGHHHHH I LOVE IT SOMUUUCHHHHHHHH

i am literally OB.SESSED with that fic now. Gotta be one of my favorites!!! A little short and sweet little fic about my belovverddsssmdjskfjskkd

i LOVE LOVE LOVE the detail of Tim rolling over to Martin still in his chair, thats such a tim thing to do SKKDK I also love the remark that Jon doesnt want Martin to know where he lives bc he thinks Martin is going to send him christmas cards i actually cackled out loud

You characterized everyone PERFECTLY and i swear i could SEE every little thing happening,, the sweet little smiles jon gave UVHHHHhHhdjdhskfj

I also love how!!! Martin stayed with him and cleaned his messy house and made him Soup!!!!!!!!! I!!! Love That!!!!!!!!!!!!! its SO in character and also Ineffably Adorable

ALSO!!! the jon-disliking-touch-but-allowing-it-from-one-specific-person-(martin) thing is SO real i dont really like touch but there are some people i just GOTTA give big hugs toooooooooooo I feel it I FEEL ITTTT!!!!!!

UGHHHHHHJ THEY MAKE EME SSOOOOOOO ILLLLLLLL

ALSO SORRY THIS ENTIRE ASK IS COMPLETELY INCOHERENT I HAVE BRAINROT FOR THIS FIC SPECIFICALLY AND I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDA

I COULD TALK ABT THIS FIC FOR HOURS AAAJAGSJDHEKHDJSHDKFJEIFOF

Being sick right now too I totally felt that tag at the end of the tag listings btw ;;;;; Hope u feel (or are feeling) better!!!

NDSAHDSADSNAJAHD I'VE NEVER GOT AN ASK THIS LONG BEFORE BUT I LOVE IT!!! (for context, the fic they're talking about is this one over on AO3)

I don't know how to express how happy this makes me reading this!!! Sickfics have always been something very dear and personal to me, so the fact at least one person enjoys it as much as I do makes me go NDSJDHJDNAHJJSANDSAJSAJDNAJH

A little fun fact about the fic too, you can clearly tell how sick (not really anyway thank god! :)) I was when writing it and what I was feeling lol. Gotta love projecting onto the saddest little meow meow <3

#tea thoughts #tea asks #i guess tea is the name i'm going for as a short form to the rainbow tea now #kinda enjoy it actually #tma #the magnus archives #magnus pod

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brainwormsprompts · 1 year

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TMA x The Mechanisms: The Bet

So the other Mechanisms notice that Jonny is in a funk after Out (sry folks, Out is canon here) and in an effort to try and distract and/or cheer him up, they offer up a bet. The details of the bet are up to you but the end goal means that Jonny ends up pretending to be Jonathan Sims the Archivist and works at the Magnus Institute.

Who else is in on the bet and what they have to do is up to you. If you don't want to write all of the Mechs, you can have this happen during the Bifrost Incident so Raph, Ivy, and Marius are imprisoned on Midguard. Ashes as Basira would be a particular choice done for irony purposes and to make sure that Jonny isn't the only one suffering (you can't tell me that they wouldn't be petty like that). Now TS could be Nikola oooorrrr we can go with a potentially angsty option and have Nikola take TS's voicebox (remember, it has to follow any orders given to it). Those are the major characters who share VAs with the Mechs so those are really the only ones I have a suggestion on.

Now one of the bets is to prevent any coworkers they have from knowing that they are immortal space pirates. This is part of the reason why Jonny puts on the skeptic attitude for the Archivist. He definitely has a group chat where he's making fun of the statements, the statement givers, and the institute in general. However, when the connections between the tapes start coming, he gets invested and actually starts caring a bit. (You can't tell me that he wouldn't.) I can also see him eating the teeth apple from Lionel Elliot gleefully (TS has probably given weirder things to eat).

Now, Jonny probably knows that Elias is older than a normal human because of his eyes. So in the interview, he tenses up and try purposefully asks if Elias has met with Dr. Carmilla and is thus another Mechanism. Elias is confused and denies it and then Jonny puts back the actor mask and it goes fairly normally.

Jonny is absolutely not going to get in the way of Tim and his revenge. In fact, I can see him inciting it and encouraging him to be destructive. With the Unknowing coma, there's probably a Mechanism sitting nest to Jonny at all times. This is both out of concern for him (bc he should be awake, his Mechanism healed him, why isn't he awake?) and to mitigate panic when he wakes up. Dr. Carmilla has left a lot of hospital trauma to them and they are a tight knit bunch who are there for each other.

At the America trip, Jonny's inviting one of the other Mechs along. (It's America, we have guns and violence in spades, it sounds like a playground for these chaos space gremlins.) They steal the skin book and maybe kill Trevor and Julia. Though they may or may not release Gerry in a timely manner, he's only been suffering for a couple decades at most while they've been around for millenia, he can hold on for an extra couple of month.

Jonny is laughing internally when Daisy makes him dig his own grave and then threatens him. He's making faces to Ashes when they come to try and talk Daisy down (if they do that). Jonny is definitely giving Daisy points for making him dig his own grave when the secret gets out. He is not gonna interfere with Ashes' decision about joining the Archives. The Mechanisms know all about the Archive drama and they are immortal space pirates, they can make their own decisions. However, he is ready to back them whether or not they want to murder Elias or not.

Jonny's probably going to take the Archivist powers in stride and is trying to exploit them on the rest of the Mechs while he can. He's long considered himself morally corrupt so not being human and getting cool narrative powers sounds cool. The Mechanisms have also tried to let the Assistants quit after killing Jonny hoping that his Mechanism regains slow enough for them to make it.

One thing's for sure. Elias nor the Earth at large is ready for the chaos these space pirates are going to bring with them.

#tma #the magnus archives #the mechs #the mechanisms #tma x mechanisms #prompt

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headless-horsepossum · 27 days

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Actually thinking of that tma post (the one I just reblogged, I'll link it later I'm on mobile rn) in terms of neurodivergency made me think of the old "are asexuals immune to sirens" debate on here. Bc. Neither the tma entities nor sirens are real so the creator gets to decide how they work and I think it can be really interesting both ways depending on What Your Story Is About.

bc what it comes down to is: are the entities and/or sirens trying to catch YOU, or are they trying to cast the widest possible net?

iirc the original siren post was arguing that, because sirens are preying on the Horniness Of Sailors, asexuals should be able to hear them without being affected; and the response was that in the Odyssey, the sirens aren't (just) offering sex, they're offering knowledge or whatever, because that's what Odysseus, the one hearing them, is least able to resist.

And, listen, I don't need to tell YOU the appeal of sirens as a device by which characters can be bullied into revealing their deepest most secret desires, we've all ready pjo. But I do think there is ALSO interesting worldbuilding and story potential in horniness-based sirens!!

Like. From a worldbuilding perspective. If I'm making the rules, maybe my sirens can't read minds—or maybe they can, but sensing desires and/or altering their illusory forms takes enough energy that it just isn't efficient to make a brand new lure for every individual prey item. And they ARE preying on sailors, mostly men, mostly men who have been at sea with other men getting dirtier and dirtier for months—a clean, inviting, sexy lady is a pretty smart lure to go for, if you're trying to appeal to the Highest Number of Individuals.

Which, like, listen: I'm a simple (queer aspec) man, I LIKE a scene where the one or two people on the ship who aren't attracted to women have to scramble to save everybody else's straight/allo ass. And then what? If your ship makes it back to port, do they tell people what happened? Does it become common practice to bring somebody who doesn't want to fuck women on every long voyage? That's fun! How sapient are your sirens? Enough to notice that this is a problem, and get curious about why their hunting strategy isn't working on this One Guy? If sirens have a different concept of gender and sexuality than their prey, how long does it take them to figure out what the fuck is going on? That's fun too!!

....hm. okay I have to end this post now bc I so badly want to write both a sex comedy about the one gay guy on a ship full of ostensibly-straight soldiers on the first voyage implementing the Token Queer To Guard Against Sirens scheme AND a buddy comedy about a pod of sirens kidnapping the aroace survivor of a ship they just sank so they can do Mermaid Science.

#worldbuilding #sirens #disclaimer: like with anything involving marginalized identities what is empowering or compelling for one person #might be othering for another #*i* liked that original ace people resistant to sirens post when i first saw it in 2014 or whatever #i can also imagine reasons other ace people didnt and dont like it #(it sure seems like most of the responses it got back then were from exclusionists who were mad about people having fun with fantasy #instead of identifying ace people as Cringey Posers and chasing them off the website #but that doesnt mean there arent valid criticisms of it!!)

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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year

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ATTENTION ATTENTION

IF YOU GET NOTHING ELSE OUT OF THIS POST AND SCROLL AWAY WITHOUT READING THE READ MORE OR APPRECIATING MY WINNING HUMOUR PLEASE JUST. PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO THE SECOND OUTLIERS TRAILER. ITS SO FUCKING LIKE- "HE GRIPS MY ARM WITH A STRENGTH I SHOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT POSSIBLE AND BEGINS TO TELL ME ABOUT THE STARS" WHO LET JONNY BE THIS GOOD AT VOICE ACTING HHH

That out the way, welcome to 154, aka the episode in which jon and martin say fuck! And jonny does a great job with the voice acting here bc of course he does he's like a fantastic actor and writer or SOMETHING. gosh.

i swear the rest of this is gonna be really tma related, but i heard that trailer today and cant stop thinking about it.

without further ado, @a-mag-a-day, it's TIME for the episode that LEFT US ALL IN SHAMBLES!!

(this is all rambling, my words are not the grand words of episode 152)

Shout out to patreon "Jess?", their name gave me a sensible chuckle.

(sigh) Hm. (sharp inhale) I’ve, uh, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking after what happened with Daisy last week. About- what I can do. What I am. What feels right.

Immediately puts me in mind of

MARTIN I’m sorry. That sounds… (small sigh) That sounds horrible. ARCHIVIST I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. But it feels… right.

(MAG 160.11)

Hm.

There was one, this one, that my hand…. pulled back from. I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… (slight quaver to his voice) struggling to hit play.

Ok, like, his voice puts me in mind of this line

I don’t like this. I don’t like not being sure what’s going to be in my mind, what thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere, why I just know some statements are what I should be reading.

(MAG 129)

And how like, yeah, if you think about it, that must be really like... there's something else in your head, pushing unwanted "awful knowledge" in it, altering your perceptions, your wants and needs, yourself in a fundamental and unchangeable way, like. UHM. THAT'S TERRIFYING.

God, why's Jonny such a good voice actor? The way he does Jon's... sort of about to laugh in a very bad way voice? That's just fantastic.

I am the avatar of awful knowledge and revealed secrets, so what does it not want me to know?

EATING YOUR PROSTHETIC MEET YOUR ANESTHETIC-

No, but there's this fantastic edit by instagram user archxvist that I listened to before I got to MAG 154, and it's that line, and I/Me/Myself and it's so coool you want to follow her and listen to it (it's pinned on her profile) don't youuuuu

(also it puts me in mind of this line)

ARCHIVIST Healthy? I am an Avatar of voyeuristic terror, who unquestioned craving for knowledge has condemned the entire world to an eternity of torment; healthy i-isn’t- i,it’s not

(MAG 161)

Which 1. HHHHH JON D: ANJSDFDHVD HHHHNHRHHNRNHNHR and 2. is a line that gets stuck in my head all the time and as you can see from point 1... it's not a great time. :( im so sad about him

"When he opened his eyes, he saw nothing, but he heard her breathing, slow and steady and focused, and he immediately knew that she was finally going to- (slight stumble) -kill him. When the garden shears plunged into his chest, he was surprised by how little actual pain there was- just the sudden feeling of moisture on his chest and the realization that his body was growing weak, fading away. He wished she would say she was sorry she was doing this, that she loved him, that she would miss him. But he knew better, and his final thought was a gentle sadness at how little he was surprised."

Lots of things! First of all, Getrude's little stumble is just like :(. She may have been less of a care about people person, and more of a care about the fate of the world person - and doesn't that ache, to know that all those deaths were for nothing - but she was still upset to know that he died. She was still upset when she read his page. And I'm upset about that in turn.

Secondly, why are their deaths so sad, Gerry and Eric's. Like, I just, was this necessary? Yes, yes it was, I'm glad it's like this, it doesn't make me any less sad at that... poor guy, poor Eric. Fuck you, Mary Keay.

GERTRUDE Yes. Well. I’m sorry. ERIC Wasn’t even hard for her, was it? Handing me over? No sign of regret. GERTRUDE (Still a bit shaky) No. ERIC No. GERTRUDE I’m sorry, Eric; I know this must be hard- I just read your death. I didn’t realize it had been quite so…

:(, poor guy.

ERIC God, I was a mess. I mean, part of me kind of suspected she’d killed before, but clearly she hadn’t done it enough to be a decent hand at chopping up and dumping bodies. She was having a real bad time of it. My legs were all over the shop. (Long inhale) Would probably have been funny, if it hadn’t been me.

I like him, he's funny, also jesus christ, mary why the fuck? Just to be evil? Fuck her.

ERIC I don’t know how to describe it. Never was great with words. Bad. It feels bad. All the time. I know that I’m not really Eric. I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.

"It feels bad."

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's sort of funny. Also interesting, I never really... paid attention to the statement/Gertrude part of this episode, and I mean it's interesting, I didn't know they weren't them. Makes sense, I suppose.

ERIC You too. (beat) You got old. GERTRUDE Better than being dead. ERIC (Short sigh of a laugh) Fair enough.

I love their little dynamic, they're friends your honour :3

ERIC S’pose that makes sense. And Gerry? Have you seen my son?

HIS DAD USED TO CALL HIM GERRY!! (starts sobbing)

ERIC Oh, just thinking. Five years as her husband, god knows how many as her possession, and she just couldn’t stand being bound in the same book as me. GERTRUDE Hm. I’m sorry. ERIC Yeah, it doesn’t feel great.

^ that's going to be like half of my reactions

GERTRUDE James? He died about twelve years ago. Elias is Head of the Institute now. ERIC Elias? Elias Bouchard, seriously? GERTRUDE Hm, he’s changed a lot. ERIC Must have!

HAHAHA! THE WAY THEY TALK ABOUT HIM, IT'S SO FUNNY

also uh. huh. you know i still don't get how the people who got elias was jonah magnus before the 158 reveal did it, but this does make it obvious in hindsight.

ERIC Well, that’s it, isn’t it? I suppose that’s why she gave me to you. One final screw you to the Eye. GERTRUDE Eric. How did you quit? (Eric holds back.) GERTRUDE (warning) Eric. ERIC (short laugh) Sorry. I just- (laugh) I don’t mean to be a dick, but- well, it’s been a long time since I’ve had any sort of- leverage, I guess? Just a- little bit of power. It’s kind of nice.

Hm, both :( and I really like him. he's funny.

GERTRUDE I suppose he might be useful.

...

hhhhhhhh

ERIC I don’t want to disappear on her terms. Or yours. I want to speak my piece, have it recorded.

fuck yea dude!

but the mystery, the promise of secret knowledge, of seeing something that no one else was privy to. A secret world that gripped my imagination.

ok, eye guy. fairly eye.

So when I finished my Masters in library science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up!

THE ONLY GUY THERE WITH A DEGREE IN LIBRARY SCIENCE IS THE ONE THAT QUIT, LOVE HIM FOR THAT, HE ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING

(Amused, wistful hm) I knew she didn’t have an uncle. I knew the man was dead.

Good lord. That's... good lord.

She never promised anything, not even in her vows. She never betrayed me. Not like you. She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood sucking things, or told me I was imagining it when your friend Adelard dropped a screaming box into the Thames. She didn’t try to keep me in the dark just so I wouldn’t stop being useful; she never made me complicit in a thousand nightmares, and lives ruined for the sick joy of some otherworldly voyeur.

Really shitty boss. Really a shitty boss. God, poor guy, poor everyone who worked for her.

And I just... she really had the audacity to kill Emma, with all that blood on her hands?

...

And that’s when you turned nasty, isn’t it? When all your resources, they no longer want to serve your purpose. I suppose you didn’t know there was a way out, a way to escape. But if you had, would you have told me?

It was fitting, I suppose. Even after everything, she made me taste blood one last time.

headinhands :(

ERIC Then if you don’t mind? I think I’d like to go away now.

hmhnrhr that's just... the way that line is delivered

(The Archivist sighs heavily.) ARCHIVIST Fuck.

INDEED!

MARTIN Look, Peter, I- [The door is thrown open. The Archivist bursts in.] ARCHIVIST Martin! MARTIN (Overlapping) Oh- (quieter) Jon! God, don’t do that!

MAKING A SOUND LIKE A CAT COUGHING UP A HAIRBALL RN NHNHRNHNRR

MARTIN No, it’s fine! I j- you just surprised me, that’s- (surprised) Jesus, you alright? You- You look like hell.

His only description is looking like shit. I love him so much.

ARCHIVIST Oh! Uh, Ri, Right, I um, God, I get weak. Hungry, I guess, sort of. I, I’ve been trying to avoid, being, um- sticking to old statements? Thank you for your little intervention, by the way. MARTIN Look, I wouldn’t have to if you’d hadn’t been- ARCHIVIST (Overlapping) Yes no, I know, I know; I’m sorry; that didn’t come out right; honestly, thank you. It’s been hell, but- I, I did need to hear it.

He stutters so much when he's talking to Martin, dude, get a grip. But also, well, I'm glad, yay! Good for them and stuff. Maybe with the power of heartfelt gratitude and love and stuff they'll gouge their eyes out and elope together? PLEASE!

ARCHIVIST Yeah. But it’s- (heavy inhale) It’s pretty drastic. MARTIN What, you gotta gouge your eyes out, or something? (Beat.) MARTIN (CONT’D) Fuck off.

AHHAHHAAHAHAHHAHHAH THATS JUST SO FUNNY, JUST THE SILENCE LIKE "UH WELL" QAHJDFSHAJDFSHJFJJSF IM SURE IT'LL ALL TURN OUT FINE

right?

ARCHIVIST I, I, I don’t know; I suppose. I, If your vision comes back, the Beholding probably does as well- probably. But i-it’s not like it’s easy to only blind yourself temporarily anyway I-

First thing that popped into my head was that in a nuclear explosion you can go temporarily blind for a couple of hours from the light. Enjoy that factoid, I guess.

ARCHIVIST No, you’re the first. MARTIN Why? ARCHIVIST Uh, because… because, because I trust you. I, I’m trying to think about what to do, and I… (exhale) If I did try this, I- I don’t want to do it alone. But we could leave here, you and me. Escape.

ITS FINE THIS TIME ITS GOING TO TURN OUT FINE, FUCK ITS GONNA BE FINE ITS GONNA BE SO FINE

"because I trust you" "we could leave here, you and me" HHHH

MARTIN I mean, (mirthless laugh) Could you even survive at this stage? Is there anything else keeping you alive? ARCHIVIST Uh, I,I don’t know. I don’t- know. But… maybe it’s worth it? The risk- y,you and me, together, getting out of here- (Martin sniffs.) ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) -one way or another.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

one way or another

ARCHIVIST Cut the tether. Send them away. Maybe we both die. Probably. But maybe not. (Emotional) Maybe, maybe everything works out, and we end up somewhere else. MARTIN Together? ARCHIVIST (Emotional) One way or another. Together.

(MAG 200, but you already knew that, didn't you)

it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine

[ID: Drawing of a person sitting at a computer, crying. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST But what if you don’t? (Small exhale) We could just leave. I mean, whatever their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I’d derail everything- we could derail everything, and then just- leave!

THEY COULD HAVE! ALEXA PLAY ROLLING IN THE DEEP!

why... why... why...

[ID: CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

MARTIN Who are you kidding, Jon? You’re not going to do any of that. ARCHIVIST I, I, I could. MARTIN (Still brimming with false laughter) But you won’t. That’s why you came to me, isn’t it? (The Archivist exhales.) MARTIN (CONT’D) You know I can’t do it, not now; you don’t want to blind yourself; you don’t want to die; what you want is a reason to not do those things, so- you come to me. Well, you’re welcome. B,Because I can’t follow you on this one.

im literally, literally, in real life, crying. podded cast. why? why?

ARCHIVIST The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it? MARTIN You know, I think it always did.

no words, just sadness.

ARCHIVIST (Quiet) Maybe. (beat) Well, I’ll be here, if you ever need me. MARTIN (Also quieter, softer) I hope so. ARCHIVIST (Faster) Just-don’t-wait-too-long, okay? [He moves towards the door, sighs.] ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) If you haven’t already.

"I hope so" wh yherrghweherfv wdaj "just dont wait too long okay" hnhrfthrjhfsdehhhh hhrhnnhhh hhh h but he just they just htey they thyfruscdafsfidvjjfhvdxnj "if you havent already" AAAA just KILL ME it would HURT LESS

Now, let's see what past me had to say, while current me is sad. very sad /ref

It's so funny how despite me thinking it had 200 episodes the magnus archives ended on episode 154 with Jon and [Martin] running away and getting married wow what a plot twist