House M.D. & Hands

5x24 "Both Sides Now", 4x15 "House's Head", 4x16 "Wilson's Heart", 3x15 "Half Wit", 1x11 "Detox", 1x21 "Three Stories", 5x20 "Simple Explanation", 8x19 "The C Word"

what ‼️ another house md character ranking ⁉️ no way ‼️ (thanks for voting)

parallels that deal me +10 psychic damage for every second I spend pondering them

Here's some fun facts about different characters from House that aren't canon but they're completely true (i just made them up)

Chase is lactose intolerant but eats insane amounts of dairy anyways bc he believes it increases his tolerance or smth idk

Taub was raised by his lesbian aunt(s)

Foreman was reigning champion of his schools spelling bee for all 4 years of highschool

Cameron once shoplifted a tube of lipgloss as a dare when she was a teen and she felt so guilty afterwards that she threw up. it still haunts her to this day

House doesn't like mushrooms (it's a texture thing)

Wilson's teachers tried to force him to write with his right hand as a kid so he's practically ambidextrous but his handwriting is god awful with either hand

Thirteen owns every single Alanis Morissette album

Kutner was actually one of the original developers behind Angry Birds

Cuddy was unbeatable at beer pong in college. She still is if you get enough liquor in her

Amber was a nanny for her first few years in med school and she hated it so much that she swore off ever having kids

Park was in her high school marching band and can play a mean trumpet

there’s a “they could never make me hate you” post about literally every character in house. can’t have one normal character can we. i love this show.

and if you kick every lesbian out of this country who is going to be shipping your 4 women characters that don’t pass the bechdel test together, david shore?

imagine y/n comes out to her boyfriend house as bisexual 😗✌🏻

hope youre doing alright anon...

the house md guys r the bacteria i observe in a petri dish

being a house md fan is putting a lesbian flag behing every single female character bc who tf would actually like any of the men who exist in that show (hot take)

i dont believe these cats have ever been to medical school

ROUND 1C, MATCH 1 OUT OF 8!

Cause of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Allison Argent

Cause of Death: Stabbed by a demon

Propaganda:

She's so cool! She fights with a bow and arrow, she has complicated feelings on her werewolf boyfriend and is allowed to work through that, she's best friends with another girl who's also a banshee (should've dated her) and one of her first scenes is her hitting a dog with her car and bringing it to a vet(she's a mess! She's caring)

she was the protag's girlfriend and only died because the actress had to leave the show. it left a hole in the show that they never really managed to fill, and she is only really brought up to say "let's do this, it's what allison would tell us to do" or "I wish she was here." her father stays on the show and helps them in her memory but he and the protag suffer and learn from it the way most male characters in this trope do. she is brought back to life in the movie but it was mostly an excuse to get the cast back together again and took place years after the show finished. I don't really feel that it counts since she died in season 3 and the show had 6 seasons.

Jenny Calendar

Cause of Death: Neck snapped

Propaganda:

Jenny is so beloved to me. She was sent to Sunnydale, California to watch over the vampire that killed her family (Angel), told that he was supposed to suffer for all eternity, but after he saved her life + after she spent some time with him and the people who cared about him, she realized that she'd changed her mind and didn't want anything to do with continuing a mission of vengeance -- especially since Angel's girlfriend Buffy was also the mentee/surrogate daughter of Jenny's boyfriend Giles! Messy! Despite this, when Angel lost his soul and it came out that Jenny had been sent there to watch him, Jenny was immediately blamed, even though she'd had no idea that Angel would turn evil and TOLD everyone as much! She decided to try and find a way to resurrect old magic and give Angel his soul back, and Angel killed her in retaliation. Parts of the fandom talk about Jenny's death like it was necessary/a good thing/a good writing choice, but I don't think it was. Jenny's death is talked about by the showrunners as "proving that anyone could die," and her dead body was placed in Giles's bed, surrounded by red roses, subsequently inspiring him to try to go on a suicide mission and kill Angel. When the kids are looking at a drawing of her dead body, one of them says, "Wow. Poor Giles." Her death is very clearly engineered to raise the stakes by emphasizing how sad it is for Giles to lose her, and before her death, nearly all of her scenes centered around being Giles's girlfriend/love interest. She was never given a chance to develop as a character, and the only backstory they gave her was designed to push her towards death.

Amber Volakis

Cause of Death: Organ failure after bus crash

Propaganda:

This show likes to introduce new casts of supporting characters and cycle through old ones (some of them leave, some of them stay in reduced roles, and sometimes they come back into a main role later, but sometimes they don't) and I do like that. Amber was probably one of the best ones introduced in the row of new characters in Season 4 and even stayed interesting after being fired. I wasn't a big fan of her dating Wilson but it wasn't the worst thing. And then she was killed off. And her death basically only existed to make Wilson sad, or House sad and "crazy", and just. I don't know. It sucked that her death even happened when she had so much more potential as a living character!

House M.D. & Hands (Part II)

3x10 "Merry Little Christmas", 5x24 "Both Sides Now", 4x16 "Wilson's Heart", 5x09 "Last Resort", 2x21 "Euphoria (Part 2)", 2x08 "The Mistake", 7x01 "Now What?", 5x07 "The Itch", 6x22 "Help Me"

alrighty gang! house m.d character ranking poll round 2!

if you missed your chance to vote in the last one and despair every day, you've time to redeem yourself

vote here for your favourites and i'll do some editing magic in the future. i'll leave the poll open for a week tell your friends ✨

just finished house md what do i do with my life now 🧍‍♀️

sometimes I think about House and Stacy too long and I want to claw my brain out. Every single relationship in this show has the same agonizing outcome which is:

Love just isn't enough.

Love wasn't enough for Stacy to stay with House.

Love wasn't enough for House to try their relationship again.

Love wasn't enough to save Amber's life.

Love wasn't enough for Cameron to stay with Chase.

Love wasn't enough for Taub and Rachel to work it out.

Love wasn't enough for Cuddy to stay with House.

Love wasn't enough to save Wilson's life either.

@revenge-of-the-assbutt @firstaidspray @sachermorte thank u for enabling me NEWAY since I’ve been too dead to do any of my own hobbies here’s some thoughts on House & Co’s physical hobbies/lil crafts & such they do in the comfort of their home<3:

House: canonically does a ton of shit like piano/guitar/cooking/so on but In the spirit of him resisting change (At Times!) I think he’s gotten very good if not makes a fun time out of mending clothes🥺…. Didn’t wanna throw away his favorite shirts so it started w small hems+resizings until he looked up more tips online and get decorative w it. Pretty contrasting colors/patterns now randomly laid on his shirts and pants w only the careful eye(Cuddy+Wilson) to notice. If anyone cares

Wilson: gardening. Well as much one can do within his apartments/pretty nonplant friendly homes. He’s not a super greenthumb expert but it always gives him a lil confidence boost when he’s able to grow out spices and herbs & such to use in his cooking ♥️

Cuddy: she seems like a collage-making kind of girlie💗💗 no specific theme in em or anything but she still holds onto the potential self-aid of making vision boards and it’s relaxing for her to go thru magazines/etc + cut out whatever interests her enough to use. Rachel tries and cutely fails to help 💓💓💓

Chase: ironically enough for the prodigal son lol but . He genuinely seems like someone who enjoys spending time in silence/music doing puzzles w 1000+ pieces & such #DWEEB❤️. House once got him a 5000 piece puzzle of a kangaroo or w/e as a joke and he is Determined to complete it. In due time chase…

Foreman: the thought of Foreman crocheting is so dear to me….. he doesn’t rly tell anyone ab it but there’s a lot of half-finished + worn projects as proof around his home. #angsting it sorry but I think he took it up after his mom started deteriorating bc she crocheted too and it was a fonder reminder + sumn they could do together. One yr he gave the fellow ducklings scarves he made as Xmas gift. Not that he told him he made it tho😅#repressed

Cameron: I think she has a moderately sized zen garden on a table somewhere in her home she takes SERIOUS. Changes the lines/circles in the sand periodically, sees what new arrangement of rocks she can do etc etc. Girl that thing is meant to be relaxing!! also colorcodes/sticker-covers/etc her planner like a CHAMP.

Amber: she has the most well-detailed prettiest most concerning-when-read journal/diary everrrr. Dedicates a specific time in every day to it w specific pens of various colors. Some of the recounting even have lil doodles or if she takes the journal out w her she draws her view wherever she is<3 they’re literal chickenscratch but its still fun and fulfilling. It’s a bibleesque piece to Wilson’s Amber shrine btw

Thirteen: she’s hard to analyze for me soz 13heads I do love her #trust… nonetheless I bet she goes to hella dance classes. Partially for the exercise partially for the fun partially for the need to experience Life partially for the women. Heh. She’s rly into zumba, jazz, contemporary classes to be specific.

Taub: ok ok so remember when he did/bought pottery or w/e to convince his wife he was being faithful. I think he’d do it for real as a joke/alibi then be like wait…. This is kinda fun…? There’s no constraints to what he can make + the sculpting reminds him vaguely of plastic surgery work so he keeps it up.

Kutner: I think he draws + writes his own lil comics/zines 🫶 they’re mostly scifi or superhero and more than a lil inspired by his fave preexisting medias . He likes using the crazy cases he’s experienced w House as story inspo. Also he 4 sure runs dnd campaigns so well and fun. Btw

Masters: she’s a suckerrrr for trivia nights my lil nerd wife<3 but um anyway when she wants to relax she Really doesn’t want sumn that can become info overload so in free time she’ll make friendship bracelets, lil shapes/figures out of string, etc. Will someone please give this woman a full on loom to go cray with!!!!

Park: I can see it so clearly . I can see her lil handpainted warhammer and other tabletop game figures so perfectly in my head. She paints more than she actually plays(but she does !). God save you if you touch or tumble them.

Adams: I kinda DGAF about her sorry women… hmm there’s sumn compelling ab her doing blackout poetry plus occasionally full-on written when the inspo hits! started as a boredom thing in her job in the prison w whatever book she brought in then she kept on doing it w more and more written pieces she comes across.

I put so much time into this. Perhaps too much.😭feel free to gimme y’all’s thoughts on this/ur own ideas :3