#all the names of the degrees in this part
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AITA for getting tubal ligation, eloping with my two girlfriends, adopting a cat and moving out, all in two weeks and without telling my mother?
🏥💍🐈🏠
So, I (F, 21) have been planning for a long time to sort out my life. I live in a European country, I'm in college and work part-time. For years, I've been saving up money to get financially independent as fast as possible and move out of my parents' apartment. I also wanted to have enough to pay for tubal ligation procedure, because I don't ever want children and would feel much more at ease when I'm certain that I can't physically get pregnant. My mother from the beginning was very against that idea, telling me I'll change my mind later and not to do anything permanent.
Two years ago, I've met two wonderful women, A (26) and K (23) on a discord server dedicated to our shared hobby (writing fanfiction). We'd been talking and messaging for months, eventually creating our own server and sharing our irl names and faces. It naturally progressed to a point where we chose to call it a relationship (I'm on the aroace spectrum, we're all neurodivergent and have a weird relationships with gender so it's not a traditional romantic/sexual relationship by any means). We're all from the same country so we met up a few times before deciding to all move to one city and live together. K and I are finishing our bachelor's degrees and A works from home so there weren't any obstacles. We found a flat and A moved in, waiting for me and K.
My mother knew I was bisexual and dating A and K, but thought again that it was "just a phase" and that we were only friends pretending to date for some reason. I love my parents, they are great and supportive people but sometimes it can be so exhausting to convince them of something when they believe they're absolutely right. So, I just stopped talking to my mother about my relationship and plans for the future. I visited A (and K after she moved in) in our apartment without permanently staying there yet.
A, K and I got an idea to celebrate us finishing college and A getting a job promotion by going abroad for a week. K jokingly suggested that we could visit another country and get married (gay marriage is still illegal in our country). Obviously, polyamorous marriages are not legal anywhere in Europe, but A told us at the beginning of our relationship that she never wanted to get legally married for personal reasons (but a non-binding marriage ceremony was fine with her). So, all three of us could have a ceremony and K and me could get legally married (the marriage still wouldn't be legally recognized in our country though). Then I also realized that I could get a tubal ligation in the country which we wanted to travel to (tubal ligation procedure is also illegal in our country).
I knew my mother would be against both of those decisions and I didn't want to argue with her the entire time before I left abroad. So, I just told her I'm going on holidays with my two friends for a week and she accepted that. I've also been slowly moving a lot of my stuff from my room in my parents' apartment to our apartment and was ready to completely relocate.
Anyway, the wedding went great (the witnesses were six people we knew from the discord server where we first met, who lived close by and could get to the wedding site easily), my operation went great, the trip was great, and just as we returned a friend asked if we wanted a kitten, because their cat had recently had some. We agreed.
When I was sure everything was settled, I called my mother and told her about the wedding, the operation, the move and the kitten. She was shocked and angry, said she felt disappointed and betrayed I hadn't told her about any of my plans, didn't even invite her to the wedding and that I damaged my body and would regret having my tubes tied. I tried explaining that I didn't know how she would react, that based on our previous interactions I hadn't thought she'd be supportive and that I wanted make my decisions without also having endure her disapproval. She cried, told me I hurt her and to give her some time to deal with all the revelations.
I feel terrible for upsetting my mom, but honestly, I think I did the right thing and that informing her beforehand would've ruined my mood and I'd have had to argue with her on the phone constantly during the trip.
So, Tumblr, AITA?
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All the world's a stage
A/N: Have I been plagued by musical!reader and Spencer ever since I set my eyes upon him and Lila? Yes, have I ever had an outlet before? No, suffer the brainrot with me.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Musical!Reader.
Summary: A case takes them to a musical theatre performance and Spencer finds himself utterly besotted for the pretty woman on stage.
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: talk of disfigurement but no details, little fluff fic for my soul
Musical theatre is an immense part of her life, she grew up surrounded by it through her entire family, and did dance lessons until she realised that doing tap dance in a leotard probably isn’t going to get her very many places in the future.
So, the minute she left home to go to college, she got a theatrical degree and got herself out in the world. Made a name for herself.
Which is how she found herself playing Jenna in Waitress, absolutely her favourite role so far.
Unfortunately, a week into the show’s run, there had been an incident. No one was quite able to tell her what was going on, but her castmates kept getting replaced with understudies. Until, finally, someone better than the local police arrived.
They came in quietly, which is very good etiquette, and spoke quietly with the director while they practised. While the show was momentarily put on hold for the next few days, rehearsals wouldn’t stop, meaning she was now singing Used To Be Mine with all the emotion she can hold with Federal Agents in the crowd.
Thankfully she’s partially blinded by the lights as she sings, or else she would’ve seen him.
Spencer sat down to wait for the song to finish, and immediately found himself frozen. Whoever this is, she has to be the most talented person he’s ever heard in his life, and while he doesn’t often listen to musical theatre, he’d make an excuse for her.
Ignoring everything around him to just watch this woman give the performance of a lifetime. It’s only the rehearsal but she was treating it like a packed house.
The minute it was over and the stage lights went down, house lights flickering on so that the cast could be questioned, he jumped up and started clapping. Eyes bright as he didn’t realise that no one else had been watching her like he had.
It was impossible for her not to notice him, a bright smile on her face as he realised he was drawing attention to herself.
Laughing softly, she curtsied just for him, loving that she could see the little blur of his face turning a soft red. That giddy feeling settled high in her chest as everyone was sent off to their changing rooms to be questioned in order.
By the time it got round to her turn, a knock on her door swiftly turned into its opening and being met with the stoic man she saw talking to her director. Standing, she held a hand out for him to shake, giving her name as she greeted him.
“SSA Aaron Hotchner, we’re from the BAU.”
“Hi, no one has really told us what’s going on, but it’s not hard to realise that people just.. aren’t here.”
Smiling as he offered for her to sit down, the rest of his agents filtering into the room and starting to look around. She knew she probably wouldn’t be a suspect, but that doesn’t stop her from being nervous at having FBI agents in her dressing room.
Agent Hotchner was talking to her, gently explaining that her castmates had been injured and disfigured, which is why they had been called in. It was very unusual to have so many attacks with all the victims coming from the same theatre, which she could definitely agree with.
Then, as if the Gods themselves handcrafted the interaction, the man that had applauded for her earlier walked in with flowers. She stood up to greet him, a little quicker than she did for Agent Hotchner, which all his coworkers immediately noticed. Hurriedly, he looked between the flowers in his hands and then back to her, his cheeks flushing and jaw dropping.
“Oh! This- This isn’t-- I mean, you were great! Amazing! The best portrayal I’ve ever seen, and you sang.. s-so well.” He saw the look he was getting from Hotch behind her and cleared his throat. “Bu- but these aren’t from me. They were left at the desk, had your name on.”
Granted, it did sting and she had to resist the urge to playfully pout about it, thinking it might actually cause the poor guy to short circuit.
“Thank you for getting it for me, and for applauding. That was very sweet of you..”
“S-Spencer-- Spencer Reid, Doctor. Uh, Doctor Spencer Reid.”
Walking over to take the bouquet from him, smiling down at it and loving that she could see his blush in the corner of her eyes as she brushed her fingers across his. It was a massive bouquet with so many flowers it felt overwhelming, so she moved it to her dressing table and turned back to him.
“Well, thank you, Doctor Spencer Reid.”
He could’ve sworn they were the only two people in the room, and he had to look away from her. Fidgeting with his buzzing fingers and focusing wholly on the bouquet instead of the way she made him want to melt.
Something was itching at the back of his head as he looked at them, it was.. too much.
Rocking back on his feet, aching for a way to ground himself, he pointed out the bouquet to the rest of the team. Pretending not to notice the rest of them grinning at him.
“Orchid, lily, anemone, gloriosa, delphinium, clematis and genista, it’s an awfully overcrowded bouquet. Typically, flowers were used to send messages, usually to people of significance in their lives. There’s a lot going on here, but if I’m right it should mean an ‘all-consuming love’, from a significant other that’s either really sweet or he doesn’t really know anything about flower language. You have.. a very sweet boyfriend ma’am.”
Okay, maybe he was trying to determine whether or not she does have a boyfriend, but he could hide that with a work reason. Knowing that if she didn’t, whoever sent these likely sent them for a reason. Since the show hasn’t actually run today, but they knew she’d be here, that didn’t bode well either.
“I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m incredibly single right now.”
While she was smiling at him, the rest of the team turned to face them a little more. You didn’t just send a bouquet to someone saying you had an ‘all-consuming love’ for them when you didn’t know them. There was no card either, which made it a little more suspicious.
Especially when there has been someone disfiguring her castmates - people who played directly alongside her - so that they can’t get onto stage. Onto stage with her.
Emily walked over, realising that all the attacks were likely connected to her, and they’d struck out massively at finding her immediately. Now they could put her somewhere safe (and have Spencer watch over her).
“Ma’am, were you close with the other castmates?”
“Oh, I mean, somewhat? We all worked together, but I’m newer on the cast so I don’t really hang out with anyone yet.” It’s dawning on her now, they can see it in the subtle shift to how she’s standing and the brush of her hair out her eyes. “Is this.. my fault? Did someone do all that because of me?”
She looked to Spencer, as if expecting him to answer, and he immediately felt the need to step forward. Gently holding onto her upper arms to stabilise her, knowing how easy it is to get lost in your own head and not wanting that for her.
Of course, his own aversion to touching people and germs is nothing in the face of helping to calm this woman.
“For whatever reason this person is doing this, it isn’t your fault. We’ll take you to the station and I’ll- I’ll stay with you until they’re caught. Okay?”
His eyes fly to Hotch, but the man just nods at him, so he picks up her bag and leads her out of the dressing room. Leaving the team behind, buzzing with the need to talk about their resident genius and his obvious crush on the performer.
All of them just watch the door swing shut until Morgan huffs out a laugh, going back to looking through the storage cupboard.
“He never comforts me like that.”
Thankfully, they managed to catch the guy pretty quickly once Spencer took her to the station. Since he had no way to watch her, like he had apparently been doing since she joined the cast, he went a little crazy.
Genuinely trying to break into the station to both see her and attempt to disfigure Spencer since he was now the closest person to her.
The man, however, was an idiot, and got caught almost immediately because he was carrying the exact same bouquet he’d gotten for her before. Not even getting through the reception. Leaving her and Spencer completely unaware in the break room, slowly getting to know each other.
Now, she is convinced she could fall in love with this man so easily. It’s hard not to imagine a little life with him. He’s an absolute sweetheart.
When he offered to drive her back to her shitty little apartment, she jumped at the chance. Much to his team’s continued amusement. Spencer didn’t often get a lot of attention, but when he did it was adorable to see him trying so hard.
The drive back was filled with an immediate panic, his phone connected to the car - which he didn’t even know could happen - and it started playing his most recently looked at song.. which happened to be from the Waitress playlist. Cue him hurriedly mashing at the radio to get it to stop, only for her to lean in and press the right button to change it to the stations again. Assuring him that she finds it cute that he was listening to the show she was in.
For the most part, she talked about the other shows she had been in, and tried to coax out some stories from him just to get him comfortable. Unfortunately it was a very short drive.
Undeterred by that, she showed him where to park and invited him up, just to see her to her front door after such a harrowing experience. He picked up on the sarcasm, and nearly fell out of the car to be with her.
Although, when they finally got there and she unlocked the door, she turned and leant on the doorframe, smiling at him softly as he resisted the urge to look into her home.
“Thank you for bringing me home Spencer, that was very sweet of you.”
“Of course, it was the least I could do.”
She bit her lip, wondering if she really could do what she was thinking. It probably wasn’t a very good idea, but then she watched his eyes dart down to her lips and then past her into her hallway and immediately back to her eyes.
Humming softly, she reached up to smooth his tie that definitely needed to be fixed.
“And you.. don’t have a girlfriend?”
He shook his head so fast that she was worried about him hurting himself, but that thought was quickly overtaken when he parroted her words from earlier ‘incredibly single right now’. Nodding along, she tightened her grip on his tie and tugged him closer.
Kissing him very lightly before pulling away, barely a brush. He would’ve sworn that he imagined it if it weren’t for the giddy looking smile on her face, backing away into her apartment.
“You have my number right? Please call me, I’d love to talk to you some more.”
“Yeah! Y-Yeah, of course, I’ll text you.” More breathless as he forced himself to stop looking at her lips, giving a tight smile. “I can do that.”
“Of course you can sweetheart, goodnight.”
Smiling softly at his wispy ‘goodnight’ and shutting the door.
Leaving Spencer in the hallway alone to react to what had happened. Eventually, a giddy little laugh passed his lips and he needed to move. Pacing quickly and in a small line outside her door, wanting to calm back down before having to drive to the hotel.
The fact that she had kissed him and wanted to see him again was insane. Even though he’s in another state, she doesn’t seem to care, so neither will he.
But just as he was about to whip out his phone and text her, not caring about the social etiquette in waiting, he just wanted to text, her door swung open again. And it looked like she’d been similarly celebrating on the other side, if her messy hair and red face were anything to go by.
“Uhm.. hi, would you like to come in instead? I have a spare room.. and a bottle of wine?”
Holding out her hand for him to take, desperately hoping he says yes. And even though he’s probably going to miss his flight in the morning, how could he ever say no to a woman who looks at him like that.
Slipping his hand into hers and allowing himself to be dragged into the apartment, the two of them happily discussing things like dinner and movies they could watch. Is it wrong to say that he’s glad her castmates got disfigured if it meant they could meet?
Probably.. he’ll keep that to himself for now.
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#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#fluff#criminal minds oneshot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid oneshot
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this college au isn't getting out of my head so here y'all go, some headcanons
despite being the first in the world at age 15 LXY still ended up with crippling self-worth issues and imposter syndrome.. makes me think he'd be a burnt out fgli (first-generation low-income) student at a rich school.. university au (this has nothing to do at all with my experiences as a fgli student at an ivy league school lmaoo)
of course FDB is a shoo in legacy student and at first LLH is is incredibly annoyed bc FDB is clearly a rich kid who got in with his parents money
the name i picked for FDB is 择信 ("zéxìn" or "to choose faith"). his dad's name is 则仕 ("zéshì" literally "officer" the author is laugh at us so that zé didn't work, i picked another one to better fit my intention. same sound though.)
he's still called duobing as a nickname bc he was a sickly child, but fang zexin is what appears on official documents and his student id. of course his mom and his aunt still call him "xiaobao" and later on so does LLH
FDB abuses his "xiaohua" priviledges and when he extra wants something he'll pull out "xiaohua'er"
just them warming up to each other to deal with school stress. think of all the shenanigans!! i feel like 3am on a school campus is when you feel like you can do anything super well, even make empanadas when you've never made empanadas before (did i do this freshman year? yes.)
bonus: LXY has a phd in bio-med and is a famous researcher, but he's getting a herbology? nursing? (still deciding tbh) degree as LLH and passing it off as his first undergrad. he made a small fortune from his first go around so he can afford it, but i feel like he donated most of it and/or gave it to QMS + QP + SGD
yes i made LXY a genius progidy med student who got into college at 15 and wrangled a phd + patent at age 18. he's literally every asian parent's golden child wet dream. no wonder he disappeared and changed his name and only resurfaced 10 years later.
FDB is of course an engineering and business student (dual degree, our xiaobao is a champ) and he buys all the school swag cuz he has the spirit
bonus bonus: fdb is a professional college fencer lmaoo. do they have professional college martial arts?
bonus bonus li'er is a part of the family staff but the fang/he family pays handsomely so she's kinda uppity. she doesn't understand why her young master is hanging out with someone 1) obviously older and 2) obviously poorer
FDB of course falls in love at first sight bc LLH happens to be the most drop dead gorgeous person he's ever seen and reminds him vaguely of the researcher that helped with the cure to his childhood illness. surely there's no connection right..
FDB is 20 when he starts college bc he took a two year break to do an internship at his mother's company. it looks great on his resume and conveniently works well so i can line up canon ages
FDB finds out LLH is living in a van and immediately tries to move him into his dorm (freshman year). of course that doesn't work out, but i think around sophmore year, once they've started dating, he would've whittled down LLH enough for him to agree to live together in a house off-campus. LLH tries several times to convince the 20yo that he can do better than some old man who's just starting his undergrad at age 28 (my man breathes lies). FDB is literally signing their lease as he speaks.
bonus bonus bonus (and my fave): LLH makes those terrible tiktok recipes that never work but he keeps trying and the first couple of times FDB actually tries pretending that LLH's cooking is fantastic
bonus x4: DFS went to trade school and owns a handyman service (he makes bank doing it) and the jinyuan alliance is his crew of fixers. FDB is convinced DFS is a mob boss because LLH is always calling him Di 老大 (lǎo dà) when he comes around to fix LLH's rundown van. DFS gives LLH the i'm in love with u family discount but he'll never admit to it. the two of them have known each other since grade school.
bonus x5: DFS and LXY both did the same martial arts extracircular and were known rivals (affectionate) in those circles. they were constantly swapping between placing 1st and 2nd in tournaments.
bonus x5 extra bonus just for me: at one point LXY did call DFS "gege" before he grew out of it / they drifted a part. obvs they reconcillated bc LLH needed a van guy and DFS under all those scowls does care for LXY a lot.
bonus x6: LLH and JLQ absolutely know they are cousins (just bc it's hilarious for me if they do). they don't talk about it but JLQ hates him for "stealing" DFS's attention since their naptime days. he's her cousin timmy. LLH doesn't even know that he's seduced the love of her life, he's just vibing. DFS tries to explain to her that he's gay and has never been interested in women, but she doesn't believe in homosexuals exactly like in canon lmaoo
bonus x7: SGD and LXY were both in an orphanage before they got adopted by qi mushan and qin po. SGD protected LXY like an older brother, but got more bitter and jealous as LXY clearly displayed genius level academic excellence and as a by product got more attention (more care into selecting schools, more time dedicated to LXY's extracirculars, more time spent driving LXY to conferences and stuff as his research gained more traction)
can you imagine the pressure little xiangyi would've been put under to excel, and to excel bc he got this chance when all the other kids at the orphanage didn't? qi mushan and qin po weren't exacty rich, i imagine he must've felt so stressed being bombarded with scholarships and whatnot while his brother steadily closed himself off from xiangyi
nothing just imposter syndrome going off the charts when rumors started going around that a mistake in LXY's research cost someone their life. that no one should've trusted a teenager to be that smart. that some orphan kid just wanted attention and should've never been given a chance. it breaks him.
unintential pressure from qi mushan, qin po and SGD. why was he protected / saved / chosen if not to make their lives easier and to make them proud with his achivements. he's carrying his made-up expectations of their expectations and SGD's expectations
something something my dad was drunk one night and came on campus and told me i was the hope of our entire family bc i was the first to get into a good school and i could make something of myself. i was 18 at the time, same age as when LXY during his famous battle, and i just. feel some type of way. like. the man was carrying the expectations of the entire jianghu on his back. how was he not gonna be overwhelmed and break down?
bc this is a modern au i can make LXY go to therapy :) it takes a few years for him to be convinced to go (he is asian after all LOL), but he does go eventually and it helps him get the will to start again. FDB knows and actively encourages and praises LLH for taking care of himself.
LLH still carries the same self-hatred he has for his younger self bc he thinks his arrogance caused a mistake in his research and ended up causing ppl to die. he's working on it, okay, it's gonna take time
i'll end this with some crack: FDB accidentally hears DFS call LLH "xiangyi" and proceeds to give him an entire speech abt deadnames and such. it's bc he's seen LLH react to being called "xiangyi" before (come on, this guy was a prodigy and he's back at uni, some of the professors are bound to recognize him) and it's never pretty. he ends by saying "it's not like lianhua is running away from the law, he's not doing anything wrong" yes he thinks LLH is trans lmaoo. the entire time, DFS is giving him an incredious look. LXY was in fact running away from the law (or at least the press lmaoo). LLH is just standing there with an amused look on his face like "my xiaobao is a little confused, but he's got the spirit"
#sorry this is such a long post i got very excited#pls come talk to me abt the lotus man and his boyfriends#i love them#maybe this is spurred by my desire to see cy in a good modern drama#but my brain was like 'modern au modern au!!!'#also was i the only one that found out sgd was 10 years older than lxy two months after i finished the show#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc#mlcb#lianhua lou#lhl#li lianhua#li xiangyi#fang duobing#di feisheng#kitty rambles#my stuff
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Just a scratch - Din Djarin x Reader drabble
Summary: Life as the assistant in a droid-operated doctor’s office isn't eventful. That is, unless a certain frequent visitor ends up in your capable hands again. This time he’s in for a bit more than just some bacta
Warnings: 18+ content, MDNI! brief description of wounds, some Mando’a (translation at the end), no face reveal (sorry!), allusion to sexytime
A/N: This was fun! This little drabble is for @janaispunk’s 1500 follower celebration. The prompt was “neck kisses” and our boy Din – I decided to play around with a younger Din and the prompt basically screamed for an inner conflict about his oath (His age isn't mentioned but in my head he's in his 20s here)
Fun fact, the actual fic part is exactly 1500 words.
Unbeta'd, be nice 🙏
It is a slow day today, boring even.
So boring that you decide to clean the reception, dust off the high-shine furniture while listening to the low hum of all the equipment in the adjacent room. Your name badge rustles with every swipe of your arm. The light above you flickers. It is late in the evening, close to the end of your shift.
To be quite frank, you like it like this.
Empty. Peaceful. Tranquil.
Working in a doctor’s office, you’re regularly presented with emergencies that drain your energy quickly. Yes, the actual healing is mostly done by droids, but you occasionally have to lend a hand. Some people don’t trust droids. Or they are scared so you end up taking care of them.
You understand to a degree. Sometimes the ‘doctor’ malfunctions and it’s your job to make sure it doesn’t harm the patients. And – because of your regular maintenance, you’d like to think – nothing has ever happened since you started your job here. Basically you are both a mechanic and the receptionist. And, well, the healer for certain patients that under no circumstance want a droid near them.
Such as the Mandalorian who has visited the office quite often now. In fact, you’re sure he deliberately stays close to the space port just to make sure he can see you when he is injured.
He never really talks much until you start your process. He likes to tell you about where his injuries come from. He’s a bounty hunter, that much you have figured out by yourself. Most of his wounds aren’t threatening to his health, scratches, bruises, an occasional concussion.
Today is no different. Just as you are about to take off your name tag, the door opens and he stumbles in. You’re familiar with the sound of his steps and take no time to get the med droid out of the exam room.
He plops down on the table and starts removing his cape.
“Well, what do we have this time?”
You don’t even need an answer. The hole ripped into the flight suit and the dark stain on his shoulder says enough. “Got bitten,” he states. With your head slightly tilted, you ask “You got bitten?” The helmet halts for a second, staring at you. He said what he said.
“May I?” you ask, offering a hand in taking off the metal plates that have to come off before you can tend to his wound. He nods and you carefully detach the shoulder plates. He hisses underneath the helmet. “I’m sorry,” you murmur. Placing the armor parts gently on the table next to him, you watch him take his gloves off. The gauntlets follow, as does the chest plate. His fingers feel for the closure of his vest. “Let me get some Bacta while you’re busy,” you stumble when you realize you’ve been staring at him for a while.
“I need you to take the shirt off as well…” you add as you’re already halfway in the storage to get equipment and hide your blushed cheeks. Technically there is enough Bacta in the exam room, but you know he needs privacy.
The topic of his creed has come up before – when you’ve been treating him for the first time. He had suffered a concussion and you wanted to check his head, but ultimately he refused and explained why. You didn’t understand then, you don’t now, but you don’t have to. You’re just here to make sure he isn’t dying, right?
When you return, he sits there in all his glory. Broad shoulders, a toned back, a slender waist and that damn helmet on his head. Tan, freckled skin and, rather pleasant to see, there’s no bruises on him this time. You’ve seen it all. The scars, bruises, new, old; scratches, cuts, blaster wounds. But a bite? That’s new.
With a hand on his wounded shoulder, you take out a small light to see if the wound shows any signs of infection. “I know we usually have a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ agreement but I have to break that this time. How? And was that a bounty?” Again, he hisses as your fingers graze the skin, avoiding your touch by arching his back. “Yes,” he replies. What else would it have been, realistically? An animal? Not here. And certainly not with a bite wound up that high. Or this is a rather unfortunate bedroom accident.
You take the Bacta and spray it on the bite mark. It’s not too deep luckily. Neither has it hit any larger blood vessel nor are his precious muscles at risk. It probably hurts a lot, but he is used to pain. “Not a human, of course,” he says as the spray starts closing the little marks the teeth of the quarry have left in his flesh. With a damp wipe you wash away the blood on his shoulder, far enough away from the wound that he shouldn’t wince again. But he does. “Fierce warrior, huh? Is it that painful?” You half-mock, but your concern still audible underneath. This isn’t a wound that should hurt. Judging by his behavior, it’s uncomfortable.
“It’s not. It’s just … you” “Me?” You take a step back to look into that black visor. Sometimes you wonder how he looks like underneath it. If his face is as pretty as you’ve imagined. “I–” he stammers. “I’m not used to being touched. Not so close to the helmet.”
“Oh,” you let out. It’s not loud by any means but he’s close, so he hears it anyway. “Do you want to wipe your blood off of yourself?” You offer the cloth with an outreached arm. He hesitates, staring at the stained fabric you’re holding towards him. The pain in his shoulder slowly dissipates and the throbbing leaves. “N-no,” he finally says. His voice is low, breathy. You can clearly see that his breathing is more labored. Is he anxious?
The hand with the rag slowly retreats and you take a moment to process what he says. “Do you want me to–” He nods, so you continue wiping away the blood. The holes in his skin have closed up and now only a set of pink little spots remains. His blood has traveled far down his back and you gulp before slowly moving down with your hand. His skin is warm and you can’t deny that there is suddenly a weird tension between you two. He sits here, watching you touch his exposed skin. You’ve done it before but never so close to his neck. Is he sensitive? As the side of your hand brushes against his neck, he flinches. You do it again and the helmet turns to face you. For a few seconds you stare at each other.
You’re standing in between his knees, a respectful distance between your bodies otherwise. “I would’ve never guessed that,” you take your unoccupied hand and let your fingertips wander over the other side of his neck. He shivers and exhales sharply.
He leans into your touch. The beat of his heart is visible, a vein pulsing underneath your index. “Don’t,” he hushes. Don’t what?
You halt the movement of both of your hands. He hesitantly extends one arm and rests his hand on your waist. First you expect him to push you away, but rather than that – he pulls you closer. He straightens his back until you’re almost eye to eye. You know he’s broad, but being so close to him made that abundantly clear.
“Don’t stop,” he pleas. The softness in his voice could melt your heart. The cloth falls onto the table behind him, squelching upon impact with the cold metal surface. Both your hands rest on his skin, drawing small circles on his neck.
“Can I take that as confirmation you’ve been staying close on purpose?” Again, he nods. “I hope you’re not getting injured on purpose though,” you say with a smirk. A single chuckle emits from underneath the helmet. “I’m not, not any more at least.” you shake your head in amusement. “Could’ve just said something. Ask me out or something.” “And what would we do? I can’t take that helmet off.”
I have an idea.
Leaning forward, you stroke over his shoulders and down his arms, making way for your lips to brush his shoulder. “Osik,” he curses under his breath. You’ve heard him curse in Mando’a before so your smirk just grows. Your lips travel up his shoulder, until they finally reach his neck. “I mean,” you talk in between kisses, feeling him melt against your chest. “I know something we could do that doesn’t necessarily need the helmet to come off.” On your life, you swear you hear him whimper. The battle-hardened Mandalorian whimpers. Because you offer what he probably has been waiting for for a while now.
“Would you like that?” You tease. His hand travels down your waist. As it ends by your hip, his second hand joins. “Yeah.”
_________________________
Osik – shit
#1500 kisses challenge#janaispunk#din djarin x reader#din djarin#the mandalorian#din djarin fanfiction#star wars#din djarin x you#the mandalorian x reader#wolke schreibt
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Oh ok. He's actually kinda hot
Trope: dilf!Yunho x babysitter!amab!reader
I decided to do something different. Most babysitter fics always have the babysitter as a female rather than a male. So lemme try my hand at this shit lol
@newworldnet
@blossomnet
Thank you to @bunnliix and @holybibly for helping me out with the partial synopsis set up of this fic. <3
Includes: slight mentions of coercion, mainly fluff, some spiciness in terms of thoughts and actions but nothing that is nsfw, some angst
"MINGI, SO HELP ME GOD! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN NOW!"
All you received was boisterous laughter on your end and a smack to your butt. You tried to punch whoever smacked your booty, but since you were hoisted over one of Mingi's broad shoulders, you didn't get a good look at who smacked your butt. However, you had a solid idea.
As you approach a big mansion, Mingi finally set you down and you proceeded to try and beat the ass of the person that smacked your butt.
Jung Wooyoung, your best friend.
"Oh come on now, y/n! Don't be such a sourpuss!"
"Especially since you have to babysit my best friend's daughters soon."
"I have to WHAT?!"
Wooyoung broke out in his iconic high-pitched laugh while Mingi was wheezing. You, on the other hand, were fuming.
"I did not sign up for this fuck ass babysitting job! Let me go now before -"
Mingi cut you off by ringing the doorbell multiple times. Then, he took Wooyoung's hand and sprinted away as fast as he could.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'MMA MESS UP YOUR DAMN ROOM AND COVER IT WITH FAKE SPIDERS WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM WORK!"
Even though they were far away to hear your threat, a new presence behind you chuckled smoothly and you froze momentarily before turning around and looking up slowly.
Oh.
So this is Mingi's best friend.
You gulped at the taller man before you and gave him a good once over.
He was wearing a regular suit and tie and his dark brown hair was swept back. He wasn't as broad as Mingi but he was still a bit lean with some muscle here and there. His warm brown eyes stared down at you in curiosity as he stuck a hand out for you to shake.
Said hand was big and veiny and his fingers were so nice to look at. You wondered what they would feel like wrapped around your throat -
'STOP IT, Y/N! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! HE'S PROBABLY MARRIED!'
"But there's no ring though...'
'It doesn't matter! He probably doesn't even like guys that way so just stop!'
You snapped out of your daze for a moment and shook the older man's hand.
"Uh... hi. I'm Y/N Hong. I'm Mingi's cousin. And I guess I'm your new babysitter. Sorry if I'm super awkward right now. I didn't expect myself to land a babysitting job, but I'm more than willing to accept it since I do technically need a job and -"
The older man shushed you gently to stop your rambling and smiled kindly before allowing you to enter his beautiful home.
"By the way, my name is Jeong Yunho."
His deep voice rumbled throughout the emptiness of the house and it sent a pleasant shiver down your spine.
EVEN HIS NAME SOUNDED SEXY!
You turned around and smiled sheepishly before you saw him gesturing to a table. You assumed he wanted to interview you before he considered you for the job. You sat down at the table and he sat across from you before pulling out something from his briefcase.
When did you submit a resume?!
"Let's see here... Y/N Hong, 23 years old, graduated with a bachelor's degree in computer science. Currently unemployed as of the moment. Last job was at some tech company. You were let go due to... huh. Incompetence and refusal to take orders?"
Yunho was confused at that last part as he continued to speak and assess you.
"Based on your skills, it seemed you had a good understanding of the job environment and you were able to make a lot of money off this job. There must be some reason as to why you were let go."
You sighed and clutched the cardigan that you were wearing close to you. It was useless since it was loose and a part of it fell off your shoulder, causing some skin to be revealed. Yunho spotted this and he gulped nervously as sinful thoughts entered his mind.
'God he's so perfect. So pure and free of anyone that would dare corrupt him. Maybe I can be the one to make him my dirty angel...'
'No, stop it, Yunho! He's young! He would never settle for an old man such as yourself...'
He swallowed down the thoughts as he listened to you speak tentatively on why you were let go.
"Long story short, apparently my old boss had a crush on me back in the day and she asked me out. I politely declined her and told her I'm gay. She was confused but then she tried to 'persuade' me into giving her one chance to which I blatantly said no. She got angry and tried one more time, yet I shut her down with ease. In the end, she grew petty and fired me."
Yunho grew angry upon hearing the real reason for you being fired but he remained calm since you appeared to be unbothered by it.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Y/N. I'm glad to hear that you stood up for yourself but saddened to hear that it cost you your job."
"It's ok, sir. Karma backed me up since then. I read this morning that my old company's stocks have crashed and my boss got fired since someone reported her."
Yunho heard the happiness in your voice and his heart swelled with adoration for you. He stood up and stuck out his hand once more.
"You got the job, Y/N. Let me give the breakdown on how to take care of my three bundles of joy."
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This babysitting job was easier than you would've expected. And it paid even more than your last job.
Yumi was the eldest of the three. She was six years old and a social butterfly just like her dad. And she was surprisingly mature for such a young age as well. You treated her more like an adult rather than a child and she was ok with that.
Yunju was the middle child of the three. She was three years old and a bit more on the shyer side, yet she warmed up to you right away. Your heart swelled up in adoration when the two sisters playfully fought out who got to play with you next.
Chanmi was the youngest of the three and was actually adopted. The little baby was abandoned by her parents and your heart broke a little when Yunho told you the story of how she came about. You were glad that Yunho adopted her and you were even more glad that you were taking care of her.
Yumi was busy putting Chanmi down for her nap so Yunju took the opportunity to get to know you better since Yumi already got to talk to you as soon as her dad left.
"So Yumi told me you were gay... what does that mean?"
You let out a slight laugh and grinned at the way Yunju tilted her head in curiosity.
"So you know how guys like girls in a romantic sense? Well, it's the same thing but instead of me liking girls, I like guys instead."
"Oh! So whenever you see a cute boy pass by, you get butterflies in your tummy?!"
"Something like that yes."
Yunho definitely gave you a lot more than just butterflies when you laid eyes upon him.
Yunju's eyes widened even more and she started bouncing up and down on the couch.
"So does that mean that you get butterflies whenever you're around daddy?!"
You almost spit out the tea that you were drinking but you composed yourself. You had no idea what to say to that. Luckily, you didn't have to since Yumi came around the corner and sat in between you two.
"Come on, Yunju! It's time to take a nap."
"But I want to hear more about Mr. Hong's fe-"
"And you will! Later though. You know you get cranky when you don't take a nap. Come on now."
Yunju pouted before sighing dramatically in defeat and climbing off the couch before sprinting to her room. Yumi sighed and looked at you.
"Sorry about her. She's just excited to finally have a babysitter that accepts all of us." She smiled sadly while you grew confused.
"Wait... what do you mean?" Your voice grew soft with concern as Yumi sighed.
"Before you came along, Mommy and Daddy were in love. But as soon as Daddy became the CEO of his company, that love started to disappear. They started fighting and I had to cover Yunju's ears since she's sensitive to loud noises so I had to be the one to endure the shouting and constant arguing. One day, Daddy came home and... and..."
She sniffled as she tried to get the words out while you remained patient and even gave her a tissue to use so she could wipe away her tears. Your heart was breaking every minute she spoke of how her family came to be.
"Daddy found Mommy with weird papers in her hand and all her bags at her side. Daddy was heartbroken when Mommy said something about divorce and how he never has time for her or something like that. After Daddy signed the papers, Mommy took them and left us. She... she didn't even say goodbye!"
Yumi was full on crying and you fought hard to keep your anger to yourself so you could focus on comforting the six-year-old. Despite the maturity that she displayed, she was still a young child at the end of the day that yearned for a complete family. Through her choked sobs, she kept speaking.
"From there, a lot of babysitters came and went. They were fine with Yunju and I at first, but when Chanmi came into the picture, that's where it went downhill again. They couldn't handle the screaming and crying of little baby Chanmi apparently which is stupid! Chanmi is just a baby!"
She huffed and crossed her arms to which you found adorable, but then you remembered one of Yunho's rules and you spoke softly to Yumi.
"I understand how you feel, but your dad doesn't want you saying words like that. Yunju might catch on and maybe Chanmi as well." You lectured her lightly and almost laughed when you saw the embarrassment on her face.
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, Mr. Hong! I couldn't help it!" She whined and you chuckled softly before patting her head affectionately.
"It's ok. As long as you don't do it again, I'll let it slide. And I won't tell your dad."
Yumi nodded and a smile broke out on your face as she kept speaking.
"As I was saying, most babysitters never fully accepted the three of us. Until you came along. I know it's early, but I want you to stay for as long as you can. I like you, Yunju likes you, and Chanmi likes you. She hasn't cried the entire time you were here!"
Yumi hugged you tightly and you hugged her back. Yumi let out a small yawn and you chuckled to yourself.
"Why don't you take a nap this time? I'll keep an eye out for your younger siblings?"
Yumi nodded and placed her head in your lap before snoring lightly. You shrugged off your cardigan and draped it over her before staring off into space.
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"Hey."
You groaned as you heard someone whisper in your ear. You shrugged it off, thinking you were imagining it. The voice came again.
"Hey, Y/N. Come on. It's time to wake up."
You groaned once more and kept sleeping.
"If you don't wake up, I'll kiss you awake. Come on now."
That shot you awake. As you sat upright, you looked around frantically for any sign of Yumi and her siblings, only to hear familiar shouting come from one of the rooms. You looked up and you were almost nose to nose with their sexy father.
"Uh... hi, sir."
Yunho suppressed the thoughts and smiled once more.
"You can just call me Yunho. And hey to you too. Had a nice nap?"
You blushed out of embarrassment as you put your cardigan back on.
"I'm sorry, Yunho. I didn't realize that I dozed off. It won't happen again."
Yunho let out a quiet laugh and shook his head.
"No worries. They can be a handful at times. Mingi is occupying them so you and I could talk."
You grew nervous as he said that. And it didn't help that his outfit changed yet he still looked good. He wore a brown sweater, gray sweatpants, and glasses. His dark brown hair was free from the confines of the hair gel that kept it up and it looked damp as well, indicating that he probably showered. His cologne was subtle yet it still smelled good. As he sat down next to you, he looked at you for a little bit with an unfamiliar expression in his eyes.
"Yumi and Yunju wouldn't stop talking about you. And it seems Chanmi has taking a liking to you as well with the way that she didn't cry once when you held her. I think I found the perfect match. But only if you want to stay. I would love for you to be a part of their lives, but if this is only temporary, then that's ok as well."
Despite the smile on his face, his eyes read a different story. You sighed quietly and looked into his eyes. You loved babysitting his kids. There was no way you could leave them after hearing their backstory. Without knowing it, you grabbed Yunho's hand and smiled.
"I want this to be permanent. I would like to keep this job."
Yunho's smile brightened and he brought into a hug. He was warm and you relished in it for a bit before pulling away.
"Welcome to the family, Y/N."
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That was over a year ago. Ever since then, you've been a part of the Jeong family for as long as you can remember. Yumi, Yunju, and Chanmi were more than happy to hear that you were to be a permanent part of the family.
So you could imagine the looks on their faces when they had to be sent away one Friday night to have a sleepover with Mingi, his own kid, and a new boo he's been seeing apparently.
Chanmi was asleep in Mingi's arms, Yunju fought a little bit before giving up, and poor Yumi bit Mingi's hand before running back into the arms of her father and you. Yumi looked up at you with big shiny eyes. Out of all the Jeong daughters, she was the closest to you. You cooed softly at the sight and bent down to kiss her forehead.
"It'll be ok, Yumi. It's only for one night. Tomorrow, the five of us can spend the day together as a family. Ok?"
Yumi nodded sadly before holding out her pinky.
"Pinky promise?"
You interlocked your pinky with hers and smiled down at her.
"Pinky promise."
Yumi giggled shyly before running over to her uncle Mingi. As soon as the four of them left, Yunho shut the door behind him and stalked over to you. A lazy smirk was on his face as he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.
"Come now. Let's have dinner. We're finally alone."
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A few minutes and several glasses of soju later, the two of you were seated on the couch, laughing at old memories that you two shared of each other. From Yunho meeting up with Mingi everyday to eat lunch together to your first encounter with Wooyoung, the night was filled with laughter and joy. A comfortable silence formed between the two of you yet you didn't mind. As you finished your ninth soju bottle, you saw that Yunho had closed his eyes for a bit as a way to probably sober up a bit. He was breathing in and out slowly, his glasses were perched on the top of his nose, and the tips of his ears were still red but it wasn't as bad as before. Your eyes then dragged over his form and you couldn't help but feel flustered just from looking at him.
He wore a light blue dress shirt with the top buttons loosened and black jeans that fit his slim legs well. His chest rose up and down slowly while his hands were on either side of him. Light snores escaped from him and you found that slightly cute. Fueled by the soju in your body, you leaned in to give him a small kiss on the cheek.
Imagine your surprise when you felt his lips on yours.
You pulled away but not entirely since you felt his hands on your waist and your body pulled flush against his own. His eyes opened slightly and a smirk was on his face.
"Hey."
"Um... hi."
Your soft voice caused Yunho to chuckle and bring into a hug, his face being buried in the crook of your neck. Your blush worsened due to the close proximity between the two of you. He then pulled away and stared deeply into your eyes.
"May I confess something to you?" He asked quietly and you nodded.
"I think I've fallen for you. No wait. I have fallen for you. I fell for you when you first walked into my home. And those feelings developed into something more when I came home and saw my eldest laying comfortably against you."
Your heart rate increased as he kept talking but you found his hands slowly slipping away from you. You were about to protest lightly from the lack of warmth he provided when you saw him put his face in his hands.
"Sadly, I can't have you. I know you're into guys and that's fine since I'm bisexual. But still... you deserve more than just an old man like me. You deserve to be with someone who will come home to you and will give you their undivided attention."
When you heard the first sniffle, you immediately wrapped your arms around him. Yunho held you back as he continued.
"I tried so hard every day to make sure I came home on time for dinner, tuck the kids in bed, and kiss my wife goodnight before going to sleep beside her so she can wake up to me in the morning. However, it just wasn't enough for her. Hence, the fighting and whatnot. I'm sure Yumi told you everything."
"Yeah. She did."
"The next thing I know, she's divorcing me. Talking about how she doesn't want to be held back by someone who prioritizes work over family when that was never the case!"
Yunho was full on sobbing now and all you could do was shush him and tell him that everything is ok. He kept speaking.
"From there, I hired so many people to babysit my daughters but they never seemed to stick around for long." He raised his head to look at you.
"Until you came along."
He smiled weakly as he continued to speak.
"You've been understanding of my situation and never once complained about my kids or the weird schedule and so on. You've been so kind, patient, and loving. That's why... I confess my love to you. Aside from you doing an excellent job at babysitting, you're witty, intelligent, and so carefree of everything. Which leads me to ask you this."
He held your hands in his.
"Why do you stick around for an old man like me? You could've been out there, finding new job opportunities and dating people your age. Yet here you are, in the arms of someone like me. Why is that?"
You sighed shakily as you pondered your answer. You decided to tell the truth.
"While I love working with computers, sometimes, computer science takes a toll on the mind. Plus, sitting in front of a computer screen 24/7 for hours on end with countless stacks of paperwork becomes too boring. Being around your kids brought me life. Also, if I may, I've fallen for you as well. I figured you wouldn't want someone as young as me. But seeing as you've returned the feelings, I couldn't be happier."
Yunho's heartrate increased as you told him that you felt the same way. His eyes darted to your lips momentarily before looking at you once more. He was still a bit drunk, but he was sober enough to remember this.
"May I...?"
You nodded and felt your heartrate increase when he leaned in and kissed you on the lips for the second time.
His lips were soft and plush against your own and his hands held your waist with a gentle yet firm grip. As he held you close to him, you felt the love and passion he had for you in this kiss.
You were finally home.
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opinions on the black sister relationships? i love your character posts sm!
i’m blowing you a kiss!
i love thinking about them…sorry this took so long, i was busy lounging and watching killing eve. i might type up something about the dynamic between the three of them, but i broke them down into pairs here.
bella & cissa ♛
i made a webweave here that basically sums up my thoughts on bellacissa. i do think cissa thinks she’s a fanatic and completely bonkers, but she’d defend her anyway. narcissa appreciates that in their patriarchal fucked up family, bella is carving her own path—she isn’t docile or ladylike at all. so cissa takes some vicious pleasure in how unleashed bella is. conversely, bellatrix has a deep-seeded jealousy FOR narcissa, who is at least able to play the part of the perfect pure blood woman in a way bellatrix never could. my vision is that druella has contempt for bella but pays a lot of attention to narcissa. once druella is dead, bella sees narcissa as both her baby and her mother in a way, and she resents both. but i won’t get into bella here she deserves her own post.
bella & andy ♞
the hardest relationship for me is bella and andy. my belief is that these two are one year apart in age, like irish twins. we know from dh that they’re basically identical. I think they were pitted against each other a lot. they both end up teaching each other how conditional someone caring for you can be. it’s obvious that andy leaving really wounds bella (as evidenced by the ferocity with which she wants to kill ted and tonks), so there is a degree of power andy hold over her emotionally. bella is both the terrorist and the protector in the home. she goes after both her sisters, but it’s with the ultimate goal of making them strong enough to face anything that’s thrown at them…andy doesn’t want to change her or save her—she knows all the dark, evil parts of her and grapples with all the times bella showed her tenderness or turned her rage against someone else for her sake. i think they can read each other’s body language perfectly, but don’t understand each other’s minds at all. once they’re older they fight all the time, verbally if not with magic, and it would start with bella making some pointed jabs to get her attention and andy curating a biting response without looking up from her magazine and just like that they’re dueling. but once it’s over and they’re panting on the floor, bella would kick her leg and they’d smirk at each other a bit. or one of them would storm out. i do think that andy did bella’s hair for every event they attended between the ages of 8 and 16. huh, i guess i have more to say about them than i thought i did.
andy & cissa ♝
narcissa spends years stepping in the footprints andy has left behind. before she figures out who she is, she’s just a ghost of andy. she learns all her best defenses from her. i don’t think andy feels very bad about leaving her behind. i don’t think she’d try to convince narcissa to go with her either. she would miss her so much, but she’d grieve her like she’s dead. i don’t see her as a person who holds on to a lot of regrets. and she’s in love! she wants to run away and forget every bad thing that ever happened to her! is that a crime? narcissa thinks it is. growing up andy was her strongest ally, and she takes it as the ultimate betrayal when she leaves. similarly to regulus, she looks down on andy and maligns her whenever her name comes up, but it’s a cover up for how hurt she is. andy knows all the reasons that narcissa thinks she’s trapped in the life she leads, but she still thinks ‘if you want out, get out.’
daughters 1, 2, 3 ♙
fairy tales often follow a 1 2 3 format because it’s easy to remember a moral lesson tied up with a bow when it comes in a set of three (three billy goats, beauty and the beast, the peverell brothers). it goes bad bad good. so it’s super interesting that the ostensibly “good” one, andy, is the middle child. she is bookended by two death eater sisters. which raises the question: what went wrong (or right) with her? and for the others too—narcissa in canon is primarily draco’s mother, but giving her andromeda AND bellatrix as sisters raises all kinds of questions about her upbringing and interpersonal relationships. bellatrix chases and scolds narcissa at the beginning of half-blood prince, and she’s not particularly scary at all. the terrifying evil bitch who killed sirius calls her sister cissy? three sisters who mean vastly different things to harry, but we never get the three of them in a room, so so much is left to the imagination. lots to play with. good things come in threes!
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Director's cut of "For The Benefit of All the Broken Hearts", please!
(p.s. - is it annoying if I send more than one of these? I have Curiosity)
I saw that it was for the whole fic and I just [stares into space] - because not only is it 62,158 words, which is a lot of words, for me anyway, but it also is one of those stories that occupied my entire brain for months on end, and is still kind of a core part of my personality. I could probably do a whole Taika-commentary-track-of-Boy thing with it, and be equally weird and revealing. 😅
But in trying to pick out a single aspect to write commentary, I realized I've never written the post I've been threatening to write for a year (WHAT), which is what I learned about writing an unnamed protagonist. (Or at least I can't find anything in the #carlita coded content tag.) It's now been a year, so it's likely I will miss something important, but it was such a striking learning experience that I think I can do pretty well with it.
This got long, so more under the cut:
Because aside from being obsessed by the subject matter and vibes and all that, writing for the benefit of all the broken hearts was an incredible boost in my writing craft. (the other big boost was around dramatic pacing and narrative tension and foreshadowing, btw.)
She didn't have a name in the original, and deliberately so, and I was committed to that in my work. See also: Rebecca; this post's tags has some thoughts about Rebecca as a narrative influence in addition to the technical aspects. And unlike Rebecca, I was writing in close third person. (One of the reasons that when I'm feeling particularly cocky I will say SUCK IT DAPHNE DU MAURIER.)
And that's not that hard to do when there's only two characters in a scene and they use different pronouns, but so much of the story is her and Mary. (this post made me laugh A LOT) Which means I can't use pronouns to do the lifting, instead I had to think about other ways to handle it structurally.
Using Mary's name probably more than I would normally, to be quite honest. Her name is in many more dialogue tags and starting actions than I think it would be otherwise, because if Mary's doing one action, she's doing the other action; if Mary is saying one bit of dialogue, she's saying the other.
Using line breaks strategically, clearly separating character actions; and I think over time this actually made a difference in distinguishing how they act (and speak) differently from one another, that carried over to her interactions with Ed and Stede as well. And that carries over to how Mary also becomes a more distinct character.
In some cases, this went as far as actually rearranging the physical action. I don't remember the precise details, but there's something about when they first go into the kitchen in Ch 15, when Stede is making drinks, where you have all four characters directly interacting: I reworked who was doing what where to disambiguate which "she" I'm talking about.
There's also a lot of very fiddly sentence rewording, rethinking every individual sentence, and does every clause need to be there, and what is every single sentence doing. Because there's a lot of ways of writing that are "natural" (aka I have been writing fiction off and on since I was probably nine years old, and even with a wholeass English degree and a lot of supplemental reading about craft, I'm still kind of intuitive about my writing) that lead to structures where clearly her name would go here, but I can't do that, so: is the sentence working? Should it get flipped the other direction? Do I need a paragraph break? Is it okay if it's a little ambiguous -- there's a line in one of the coffeeshop scenes where it's kind of unclear which one of them does some gesture or another, and I decided that the ambiguity worked, actually.
And then probably my favorite craft becomes theme trick, particularly where there's sort of a repetition of sentence structure, or where Mary has been doing something and her actions are in reaction to that: sometimes it makes it work to just remove the subject of the sentence. Walks across the room. Picks up her coffee. It both somehow makes things clearer despite offering less detail AND reinforces this thematic thing of her being both absent and present.
Bonus difficulty level, btw: even if epithets had made sense for the tone (which they did occasionally, iirc), I deliberately chose to have very limited physical description of both her and Mary, on account of them both being amalgams not of actor and character (like Ed, Stede, Jim, Roach, etc), but of either two real people and real person and character played by a different real person respectively. They are both entirely secret third thing, and giving them things like hair color/style (beyond a vague reference to length) or eye color takes that away. (Instead they have some details of their overall physicality - age, respective heights - and clothing, both of which also tie into the themes of the thing.)
Honestly, overall it was an interesting creative puzzle, and I learned a ton -- Through the Storm, which is a very very very different story, owes a lot to it, and I've managed to commit to the bit through all the missing scenes fic (altho since a lot of that is alternate POV, there's a lot of "Ed's wife" construction, which is not my favorite) and the alternate bad endings fic.
tagging the beta team in case anybody has anything to add; this was very much a group project, esp in identifying places where it was clear to me but not to other people: @emi--rose @veeagainsttheday @gaypiratebrainrot
also, going to leave this here - when I went to ECCC in 2023 the original artist of this meme was selling versions with a blank word balloon and you could have her write in something, and I got it left blank with the idea that I would write other things on the plastic or if ever get a glass frame, but uh, it's been Carlita? since March of 2023.
there's so many other things I could have written about at this length about this story (both specific details and the thematic stuff), I'm serious.
and to answer your ps: NOT ANNOYING AT ALL. clearly I enjoy talking about my writing. :D
[director's commentary asks]
#ask games#my writing#my fic#carlita coded content#btw I decided to omit her name from this post - for the bit - and had to put a few of my tricks into play#sometimes you write something that changes your own brain chemistry I guess
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Hi as both a fan of emo/alt music and Fantasy High I'd like to talk about My Clerical Gnomance. First off I think fh for the most part is really good about differences between different alt subcultures, like Fig is strictly Punk, not emo or goth or anything else, she adheres pretty strictly to punk music and values. And then Zelda and Gorgug are closer to like. Metalhead but also seem to venture into some emo/screamo music.
My Clerical Gnomance is clearly supposed to be a play on the name My Chemical Romance, but their music is not really the alt rock style of MCR, and is closer to those stereotypical 2000s emo / pop punk bands that all make the same kind of whiny, pick
-me-boy "my girlfriend left me because I'm a terrible person" kind of songs. And Ruben definitely embodies that kind of guy. And I love how Gorgug admits like yeah he kinda likes emo music, but as soon as he hears My Clerical Gnomance he's like oh no I don't like That type of music.
But literally the best part to me is Fabian saying he loves My Clerical Gnomance. This random preppy richkid jock, who, other than being a pirate which honestly feels like some kind of an alternative subculture in its own right, has never shown any interest in any kind of music at all or alternative subcultures, loves My Clerical Gnomance. Amazing bit tbh. And specifically bc of the certain type of emo music that My Clerical Gnomance is, I feel like that makes sense for Fabian bc part of his character is being kinda self centered and maybe even a little whiny. And even though it's not in the same Way that Ruben is self centered, he can relate to the music through that. I also think that music to a certain degree reflects Fabian's attitude towards romance, because he also seems to view relationships partially as a status symbol and as a way to have someone care about and pay attention to Him rather than because he actually has feelings for the person (he's kinda getting over that view a bit this season with Mazey though, I do think he actually has a crush on her).
Anyway I just think that's neat. Also I'm not fully finished with the season yet so if anything is inaccurate or other stuff happens that I didn't talk about it's bc of that.
And I know I just talked about how My Clerical Gnomance is Not like My Chemical Romance, but if Fabian did listen to our world's MCR I have no doubt in my mind that his favorite album would be Danger Days. And I think he'd also fuck with the songs Welcome to the Black Parade (obviously), I'm Not Okay, and FTWWW. I can probably elaborate/ talk about more of my options on this later if anyone wants
#dimension 20#fantasy high#my chemical romance#my clerical gnomance#fabian aramais seacaster#alternative music#alternative subcultures#ruben hopclap#this post doesn't have a Point im just kinda rambling about stuff i noticed/ was thinking about/ my opinions
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Note: Archdemon from previous entries now has a name. If you get to the end of this and wonder, “Who’s Mammon?” that would be him. I’ll be editing previous entries to include the new change.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Hob allows himself his pity party, unfair that it is to call it that. He has been through a traumatic series of experiences and he understands the necessity of allowing himself time to recover.
In so much as recovery is ever possible after nearly a century of being tortured by a literal demon.
It likely doesn't help that he can't quite decide if staying in his friend's home for any prolonged period of time is a good or bad thing for him.
Oh, he is more than aware that you don't turn away a safe haven when you need to rebuild your life from neatly the ground up.
He's also aware that being in this house when his friend who has very much never stated they are indeed friends in this timeline is going to tear his fool heart to pieces.
The first night after Dream left, Hob had made his way back to the master bedroom, listless and restless at the same time. He'd found himself staring at the bed until his eyes burned, first from not blinking, then by the first hint of tears.
He is many things over his beloved, but he has not been brought quite this low for him.
Hob had taken the clothes from the wardrobe and set up base in the guest room downstairs. The bed didn't hold a candle to the one upstairs, but his dreams were haunted enough without the reminder of whose bed he was sleeping in.
Hob begins the arduous task of rebuilding his life in stages. It has been a very long time since he had to build it up from quite this near to from scratch.
He always had his contingency plans. They all had the emergency plan built in if he needed to disappear for a hand full of decades. Most humans that might hunt him would either have long given up or died by then, not having the same gift of a long life span like him.
He could afford to be patient when all he had was time.
A hand full of decades, though, is a very different beast than a century, though. Not the worst, but hardly the best, though.
It will be more trouble than worth to come back as a relative of who he was back during World War I. Better to start off fresh. It will be good to clear up any loose threads he might have left laying around. He is only sorry for the effects that he will have lost in the process. Some of those objects he had originally managed to hold onto, even into the 22nd century.
The best thing he has going for him is that he has already lived through this time period once before. The outside world isn't going to blindside him with technical advances. If nothing, it's going to feel a bit primitive.
But that's him getting ahead of himself.
After dragging himself out of the three day old cocoon of blankets and pillows he's made for himself, Hob feels ready to tackle the next stage of his plan: figuring out where Dream's house actually is and how much travel it will take to get him to one of his caches. Most of them are in the UK, but there are a few scattered between the United States, France, and Germany, respectively. As long as he’s not too far from any of them, it shouldn’t be too hard to get to one.
He goes out to the kitchen, grabbing himself a banana to snack on as he stares at the leather pouch that had appeared on the counter the day Dream left. He had found it along with a pantry full of food to easily last a single man several weeks, even with a generous appetite. It contains a generous amount of money, more than enough for transportation and lodging, but Hob does not want to dig into it if he doesn’t have to. His cache will be more than enough to get him back on his feet while he reestablishes himself.
There is only so much he can stand to accept. The clothes on his back, the roof over his head, the food in his belly, they are more than he could have asked for. Any money that he accepts will be only what he needs to get to his cache and to carry it with him back to London.
With a grunt, he grabs a bottle of water and then the pouch, the latter of which he stuffs into the pocket of his sweater. He finds some shoes that fit him as perfectly as everything else by the door. A key ring with a key to what must be the front door is swiped from the hook it hangs off of. He is all set to go, and yet he still lingers, a hand hovering over the door knob.
He hasn’t been outside in over a century. The thought is sort of mind boggling. Oh, he’s gotten near the windows, but he hadn’t felt like opening them just yet.
And now he’s going outside. Completely of his own free will. There is nothing keeping him here beyond the general effort it takes to open a door and walk through it.
Needless to say, he stops hesitating and near throws him outside.
He pauses on the door step, breathing in the crisp air of what appears to be either a fall or spring day. Whichever it is, he has caught it on a sunny day, and he feels no shame as he tilts his head back and lets the light of it soak in.
Humans are creatures of the light. They need it to combat fatigue, boost their mood, and to strengthen the density of their bones. Although Hob does not have to worry about the last on the list, he has felt the lingering touch of what felt like an ever lasting seasonal depression.
If it didn’t feel like it was 7°C out, he would absolutely go sunbathing about now.
He reigns in the urge, shuts the door behind him, locks it, and then makes his way down the drive way. Halfway down the driveway, he pivots to get a good look at the house. If he’s not mistaken, it appears to be a Victorian era style house. Old enough to be from that era, from the looks of it, although effort has been made to upkeep it. Hob half expected it to be predominantly black in color, but it’s blue-grey walls and dark grey roof tiles are more color than he thinks he’s ever seen from his friend.
Not by much, but still more colorful than black.
The house isn’t secluded, but it isn’t right up on top of any other properties, either. At the end of the drive way, he glances left and then right. Neither particularly look more promising than the other, so he simply shrugs and picks a direction. He makes note of the house’s location and starts walking.
It’s not a terribly long walk, but his ankle is still smarting by the time he reaches civilization. It doesn’t take long from there to figure out where his old friend dropped him and he has to laugh a little.
His friend has property in Scotland, as it turns out. Aberdeen, to be exact.
Oh, this is not nearly as terrible as he had feared. He kind of hoped he’d be closer to London - that’s still a eight hour trip one way by train - but at least he’s still in the United Kingdom.
It’s easy enough to get his hands on some luggage. Everyone is sympathetic to the story of the traveler who’s luggage has gone missing. He thinks it helps that he’s wearing what looks like high end clothing, because nothing Dream makes can be otherwise, apparently. The cashier who rings him up regales him with a time her husband had the same thing happen and how they never did see that suitcase ever again, thank goodness nothing of true value was in it.
He parts from the shop feeling better for the pleasant chat with a friendly soul. He lingers around the shops, buying some lunch and a simple pay-as-you-go phone to tide him over until he can get one with a plan. He chats with some more friendly locals and reacquaints himself with the early 21st century.
The sun is setting by the time he drags himself back to the house. While making dinner, he considers his next move. He is tempted to remain another day. To linger in the library or hide away in the guest bedroom until he is forced to leave. The offer was made that he could stay as long as he needed.
But if he stays, he will not want to leave. And what he wants most, he will not find here.
The next morning, Hob goes through it and clean the areas he's inhabited. He saves the upstairs bed - Dream’s and, for a single night, Hob’s bed - for last, pulling the sheets off, dragging them down to the washer and dyer on the first floor. He takes them back upstairs and erases the final traces of his visit as he sets the bed back to right. He laughs at himself in self-deprecation because here he is getting worked up about a bed his friend who is not his friend has likely never even laid in.
He takes a few changes of clothes for himself, packs his necessities along with the phone and pouch of money he will have to find some way to return at some point, and leaves the house, locking the door behind him. He forces himself to walk away, never once looking back no matter how much he wishes to.
By 9:52AM, he is sat on a train on a one way trip headed for London. By 11:00PM, he has found his closest cache and a room for the night.
Over the next several months, Hob pieces together who he wants to be for the next 20 years. On paper, he becomes Robert Gadsen, 31 years old. He’s just moved to London after getting his Master of Education in Teaching and Learning in the United States. He tacks on a Bachelor of Arts in History to have an excuse to get him in the door for history classes when he applies to teach at a local college for some teaching experience.
His biggest risk, he is aware, is when he purchases the building that, in another life, had been The New Inn.
He had not been surprised when he went looking for what had become of the White Horse Tavern and had found it completely gone. In this timeline, Hob had not been there to slow down the closure of the tavern. No one had petitioned for it to be declared a historical site, which had tied the hands of the demolition team for the better part of a decade. Eventually, Hob and his team had lost, but not before delaying things long enough that The New Inn was up and running with a sign pointing from the old meeting spot to the potential new meeting spot for Dream to find.
Because he does not want to have to dig another cache too soon, he decides to move in to the building from the first day instead of living in his own flat near by. When the Inn is up and running, he might revisit the idea of moving out, but for now, he will save money where he can.
The first day after moving in, Hob sits on the floor he has just finished sweeping and simply allows the moment to sink in.
He does not know why he is insistent on doing this. There was no indication that Dream will meet with him in 2089, as there was no indication he even came to the 1989 meeting. This could all be for nothing.
But Hob had built The New Inn the first time on nothing more than a hope and a prayer, the offering little more than an out stretched hand should Dream ever wish to take it. And perhaps it will become that again, in this new timeline.
Most of all, it had become his lode stone, after Dream’s death in the other timeline. It was the place he returned to when the loneliness of his immortality got the best of him and he needed to reflect on why he wanted this life. He hadn’t always lived there or even near it, but knowing it was there - this place where he had once been able to be honest with who he was and how he lived - was enough.
And so, the next day, he hires a contractor and got to work. Like the first time, he is just as involved with the construction and the creation of the blue prints. The contractors are a little skeptical at first, but it helps that this time, he knows what he’s doing. Remembers what worked and hadn’t worked. It saves time, even if it takes out some of the charm of the original build.
It is six months to the day of his rescue from Burgess’ henchmen that things take another turn.
The construction of the New Inn coming along nicely, his teaching job secured and ready to begin with the fall semester. The flat above the Inn has not received quite as much love as the pub, but it is not that far behind it. He is bone tired and he is almost asleep before his head hits the pillow.
In the time since the seal broke and his ability to dream like every other person returned, Hob has revisited the basement at Fawney Rig quite frequently in his sleeping hours. He visits it nearly as often as he does not get rescued and finds his way to the bottom of the English Channel instead.
He has tried his best to keep up his ability to lucid dream, but with the Dreaming now fully able to draw him in, he finds himself able to move around his dreams as if they are mere sets rather than events he is reenacting. He hasn’t gotten the hang of changing things, but he takes what he can get.
On this night, however, he does not open his eyes to a familiar basement with Mammon standing over his naked self, unable to escape the archdemon’s wrath for the binding circle. Nor does he find moments from being from some horrific death he will not stay dead from. Nor does he find himself moments from a dip in the water.
No, on this night, he opens his eyes to what is still that familiar basement, but instead of an angry archdemon, this one has a glass and metal sphere hanging from the ceiling. A stone walkway provides a way to cross the moot that has been built to isolate and protect a circle painted in yellow under the orb.
Hob presses his back to the metal gate behind him and stares, horrified, because this nightmare is not based on a memory that belonged to him.
It is based on a memory that belonged to the Dream of the other timeline.
Interlude
#the sandman#hob gadling#dream of the endless#dreamling#my fics#title: carry you back into the light#i finally decided on a name for the archdemon#i was a little hesitant#as supposedly mammon is another name for beelzebub#but i liked the idea of there being princes of hell#let alone a prince of greed#so for this story they are separate characters#all the names of the degrees in this part#are taken from wayne state unversity#ie the university i currently attend#also kudos to all the writers that have dream experience a flashback#and accidently drag hob into things while he's dreaming#ps: the next part is written#and its an interlude from dream's pov#i'll post it in the morning#in the mean time#have this
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Not sure I care enough to engage with the post, but to read SVSSS + extras and come away with the interpretation that SJ doesn't care about why YQY failed to save him, just that he did fail, and therefore would never forgive him or change his behavior towards him if he learned the truth, feels off-place to me. It seems to lean into the view that SJ doesn't actually care about YQY, just sees him as a useful tool, and thus couldn't be hurt by the supposed abandonment - with that interpretation it would then make sense to think he would neither care nor change his behavior (towards YQY) upon learning what actually happened.
#generously put - I suppose it's not an interpretation that the text of svsss completely forbids#but I don't see it as the most probable interpretation by a long shot and it doesn't explain their interactions or themes well at all#given that Shen Jiu eventually canonically forgives YQY even without an explanation I don't see why he wouldn't if one was earnestly given#I could see SJ continuing to throw some lingering degree of fit if he learned that YQY had indeed tried but failed#(and YQY honestly doesn't need to elaborate on the whole trauma only the important part - that he set out too late)#but I really don't think their relationship would have been anything like how it turned out in canon#no real comment on how SJ's actions would change on ~everything else~ since it's so counterfactual after that point and we know he's a git#I do honestly feel that the novel bolsters this idea with the whole thing at Maigu Ridge#where SY learns of YQY's tragedy and immediately sees what he has to do to avert the same with LBH#he saw how important it was to explicitly let LBH know how loved he is even if he can't explain everything because it CAN change things#and it does for them#the responsibility part is... well everyone is responsible for their own behavior - including SJ#now I don't have strong opinions on this next part#but regardless of trauma or his right to remain silent - YQY has some responsibility for the ~direct~ consequences of the choice he made#namely referring to SJ's belief that he was callously abandoned and his pain and anger over it#but he is absolutely not responsible for SJ's “everything else”#idk just had some thoughts
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I'm sure that there s a perfectly good reason, but it's just really funny to me that Pompeyo has beef with a teenager (Marcus). What a way to NOT copy Sulla
lmaoo yeah
honestly, it’s very one sided: Pompeyo is trying so hard to get along with Marcus and it’s just not clicking because Marcus distrusts him for being a (former) political ally of Felix.
like, from Marcus' point of view, Pompeyo let Felix fuck Crasso over for his own gain, and fully expects Pompeyo to behave exactly like Felix once Pompeyo fully realigns himself with Crasso. Marcus really only acts civil to Pompeyo because of Publius (who. god. he needs a new name so bad. Paolo? Paris? I might give up trying to pick a name that begins with P and just name him Celestino or something, tbh), and even then. the civility is debatable.
later tho! it takes two events that happen several years apart from each other, but they do come to an Understanding. Pompeyo is actually totally unaware of the moment that Marcus decides that Pompeyo is part of the family.
Marcus still gives Pompeyo a lot of shit, but it's no longer actively hostile. just regular, garden variety fucking around (affectionate) and making Pompeyo's life a little bit difficult on purpose because it's kind of funny.
#I’m thinking of changing Marcus’ name to Mark to give him another degree of separation between him and his historical namesake#I’ll have to do some sample dialogue scenes to see how it goes#ask tag#anyway. i actually miss so much people stopping by at 11 and pulling out the coffee mugs and the instant coffee and sitting around#uh. wait. this might need a cw#what's. the cw for famine related hunger#cw starvation //#cw child death //#bad governance the series#WAHOO anyway it's all rough drafts so you get to see all of my blocking notes. subject to change the next time i do edits etc#like already ive decided that the weight of marcus changing his opinion on pompeyo has another part to it i just didn't have it#sketched out. so for now. this is the general very barebones idea of the scene
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sonic prime episodes will either be really fun and have cool or interesting moments that youll be thinking about for days or the most boring shit youve ever seen that youre basically only watching so you can get to the good stuff. no in between
#well im exaggerating but some parts really do get kinda boring/repetitive#i think hardcore so/nadow fans are being really annoying about prime but i will give them this .#sonic and shadow really are one of the best parts of this show. most of the best episodes are about them#i like the them#chaos sonic and nine are also cool and make good episodes i like them#and knuckles the dread was really fun in season 1 . but not so much in season 2#and i like rusty rose a lot too but i feel like theyre not doing enough with her#i like. pretty much all of the variant characters to some degree really#but it feels like a lot of them havent really had anything super interesting done with them#a lot of the ones that i didnt mention by name feel interchangeable with other characters tbh#like anyone else could be placed in their role and not much would change
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evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)
morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)
I'm doing well! have a cat butt!
#replies#uygfiug#not my cat but he is when i'm there lmaoooo#my friend's cat his name is Witcher! he's very cuddly!#the more allergic to cats you are the more he wants to cuddle with you!#to the chagrin of the friend of said friend who often comes by for video games with us#i uh. may have impulsively submitted an application to a communitiy college.#i haven't taken college classes in 8 years haha#but i was like ok i have a BS in art but what if i got an AS in forensic science huh#wouldn't that be cool#i'm just out here about to start collecting degrees orz#also can i even pay for it? even if it's part time?#financial aid save me#fuck if i'm gonna apply for another damn loan after i just paid my last one off#ANYWAYS got into a new video game and it's eating at my brain but at least i've got some great art inspo coming in#i never stay in a fandom for long which is why i never publish any of my fics bc i'm in a new fandom before i can even finish the fic lmaooo#i hope you're doing well! i think ur classes started up again?#gl and take care of yourself!#take breaks and eat and all that u know how it is
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fuck it. troll betty
#Your name is BETTIE NOIRRE and you are a WAR CRIMINAL.#this is so niche its not even funny. like do you know how small the overlap of these fandoms probably is#whateverrrr art is for yourself and all that#glitchtale#betty#betty glitchtale#homestuck#bete noire#fun fact ive had this idea since like. 2020. only bothered revisiting it now#shes time and prospit. still figuring out a class#also holy shit the quality on this one is rough. thanks tumblr#koro art#fanart#OH MY GOD I NEVER COLORED THE LINEART FOR THIS THATS WHY IT LOOKS WEIRD#okay just ignore that part#also im not tagging this with undertale or anything because this is so many degrees of separation away from it that i dont think it counts
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I don’t know what all of you were talking about preserving the parts as I get them. The organs I get but everything else is fine lying about on the workbenches, only some of them have worms.
#victor frankenstein#I love that my name is a tag#my monster#the parts are fine what are you all talking about?#no I do not have a medical degree#yes I’m a chemist#yes I know what I’m doing
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i love mai source :3 i will never stawp bein' a silly mika guy. yr never gettin' rid of me
#like i always read ab introjects eventually movin' away from they source n stuff#an' likr obviously i been doin' things dat r a bit more like freein' like havin' more names an' jus' bein' able 2 separate self from source#& i enjoy doin' it 2 a degree but it also still a big part of me n dats totally fine 2 me idk i jus identify w it closely.... i mean#it hard nawt 2 when ya also have quiiiiite a few exomems related 2 it#but yea i lov bein' a Mika. jus sayin#funny how it all happened#mika caws
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