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guardian-angle22 · 7 months

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Nine ten books

thank you to @rmd-writes who tagged me (ages ago) in this... not sure you knew what you were going to unleash when you did that but here we are. 😅

I think the prompt for this is just list nine favorite books, but because I can't be normal about books and my taurus energy is strong today... I'm breaking up these book recs into categories, adding visuals, and also adding a tenth book to make it an even number. Cheers!

Books #1 & #2 (Nonfiction)

Ace by Angela Chen - Hello! Your friendly neighborhood asexual over here recommending that everybody read this book! It's such a good exploration of what it's like to navigate the world as an ace person and also the vast spectrum involved within asexuality.

Yoke by Jessamyn Stanley - Even if you've never done a single yoga pose in your life, I think you can gain something from this book. It's not a how-to yoga guide, but instead essays about her relationship to yoga, cultural appropriation within the community, fatness, colonization, capitalism, etc. It's fantastic and funny!

Books #3 & #4 (Excellent on Audio)

Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski - This fiction book (and the following books in the series) follows an investigative journalist who has a true crime podcast. The audiobook is full cast and it feels like you're following along to an actual podcast, but one you know you'll get a conclusion to. Highly recommend all of the books in this series on audio if you enjoy mystery/thrillers.

Where to Begin by Cleo Wade - The author narrates the audio version of this and her voice is like a balm to the soul. It feels a little bit like she’s a counselor guiding you through a thoughtful meditation. It’s short but it packs a punch.

Books #5 & #6 (Seasonally Appropriate)

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas - This is a YA book following a young trans boy, Yadiel, who wants to prove to his family that he's truly a brujo and attempts to summon the ghost of a murdered family member. Except he accidentally summons a classmate who has no idea how he died. Adventure and mystery ensues!

The Changeling by Victor Lavalle - I've always loved the folklore surrounding changelings, but Lavalle's writing just takes this to another level. This is set in NYC and he somehow managed to make the city feel like a character in itself. Super chilling, creepy read.

Books #7 & 8 (Graphic Novels)

I Hate Fairyland by Skottie Young - This is a 4 volume series about a little girl named Gertrude who is whisked away to Fairyland, where she's told she must go on a quest to find the key to unlock the door back to her world. Turns out she sucks at quests and 30 years pass and she still hasn't found the key. Now she's stuck in the body of a six year old and just murders everything she comes across. The contrast of bright, happy colors vs. the murderous, jaded Gertrude is hilarious and wonderful.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen - This is a standalone graphic novel following Tien, the son of Vietnamese immigrants, as he navigates how to come out to his parents. The art in this is wonderful and the use of color to define when we're in the past, the present, or a fairy tale was done so beautifully. A gorgeous read!

Books #9 & #10 (Books from Favorite Authors I Will Read Anything From)

A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers - This book/series follows a tea monk who encounters a robot looking for the answer to the question, "what do people need?" It's cozy and comforting. I've read every Becky Chambers book published and will continue to do so. The way she weaves hope into everything she writes is phenomenal.

The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater - This series owns my soul. I don't even know how to pitch this other than it has a magical forest, a found family, the slowest of slow burn queer love, and Maggie Steifvater's atmospheric writing. Maggie is another author that I will read pretty much anything from (the werewolves weren't my cup of tea so I can't claim to have read all her books).

OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to list off some book recs/fave books. Tag me so I can get some new recs!! also no pressure tagging: @lemonlyman-dotcom @mikibwrites @alrightbuckaroo @reasonandfaithinharmony

#tag game #book recs #book recommendations #i cannot be normal about books dont ask that of me #guardian reads (sometimes)

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supportivecircle · 5 months

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WE GOT ANOTHER COMMISSION DONE

I have gotten another commission done by the Dead By Daylight fan artist C3-Tooth (socials here) of one of our current Dungeons and Dragons party. We have yet to get a group name in-universe, so there's no official name to call them. The setting for this game is an underground world, where the surface world was ruined thousands of years ago by a deadly poisonous gas that forced everyone to flee into megacaverns below the surface. Here comes the OK PARTY BREAKDOWN, sponsored by an old friend of the supportivecircle brand, OK Soda. For when things aren't great, but they ain't bad either: OK Soda. Things are going to be OK.

Xericsion Strophariacaea (Zeer-ick-see-on Stro-far-ee-ya-sigh) is a sporeborn swordsman, made with a homebrew Warlord class from LaserLlama. A very noble soul from an isolated society of mushroom people who keep away from the rest of the world who is looking for a friend that left the colony. His sense of right and justice truly embodies the OK Soda ideal of: "OK Soda emphatically rejects anything that is not OK, and fully supports anything that is."

Camille Claythorne is a "human" (aka a Changeling who hasn't told us yet) woman who makes bombs using the Alternate Rogue subclass Saboteur also by LaserLlama. We don't know much about her except she has a bunch of siblings and her mom has excellent skincare routines. When we think of Camille, we think of the OK Soda manifesto and how it says: "What's the point of OK? Well, what's the point of anything?"

Shlerb is an oozeborn who was raised by dwarves. He can shapechange and when he is threatened his gooey form hardens up and loses its color. He is a Warden by Kibblestasty, but with a bit of a homebrewed subclass to make it more Shlerby. He's a loveable goofball who likes pranks and who also saves people and likes adventure. His optimism reminds us of the OK Soda statement: "Please wake up every morning knowing that things are going to be OK."

Raven Goodwink is a corovian who was raised by halflings, before the whole merry village got slaughtered by a monster cause caveworld sucks. She was found by adventurers who raised her on the road because she wouldn't let them leave her at an orphanage. Now, she's all grown up and just graduated wizard academy to become an official Order of Scribes member (after an apprenticeship as an Artificer). She has a tressym named Bread as her familiar, who is also now the spirit that occupies her spellbook and makes it sapient. She can't speak well, so she uses her artificer abilities to instantly write out text in her spellbook when she has a lot to say. I have a lot more to say about her than the others, because she is my character, and I love her. Her pursuit of knowledge and strong mind ring the same truth as OK Soda: "The better you understand something, the more OK it turns out to be."

So there it is. The cave campaign crew. Enjoy. We love Raven. Also check out C3's artwork if you like Dead by Daylight! They do funny stuff (also some lewd stuff but you wont find all of that on the social I linked).

#dnd #d&d #dungeons & dragons #d&d ocs #d&d oc #d&d character #d&d characters #dnd character #dnd characters #commissioned art #dnd rogue #dnd wizard #order of scribes #homebrew #ok soda #we are not actually sponsored by ok soda

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hextechmaturgy · 11 months

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7 and 8 :-)

7. Weapon of choice?

Hmmm depends on the game I guess........ I avoid P2 combat as much as I can. Never helped Stakh with those worms, didn't even bother to defend my dad's house from robbers LMAO they can keep that shit. I just find combat to be a huge waste of time, and I'm not good at video games so the chances of me dying during it are high, and dying in P2 sucks. This is another reason why I prefer P1! The combat is just as wonky but it's not taking itself too seriously. Most of the guns in the game are fun, I'm a big fan of the shotgun , but I think my weapon of choice is a knife. 🔪 Can easily find new ones if you keep killing muggers, and trying to melee in this game is just glorious. You can practice being good with a knife for hours and you still won't be any good with it, and that's fine because this is all make believe <333 I also get a kick out of stabbing people thinking of it as a character choice. Doctors using a cutting tool to kill instead of healing etc etc, this shit writes itself.

8. Best side character? (You can only choose 1!!!!)

Who could've seen this one coming, she's about to say Bad Grief!! P1 and P2 Grief are two miserable little rat men that won't leave my house for very different reasons. It's my understanding that P2 Grief never really had much to his name, besides his friends. Probably grew up poor in the streets, mischievous to a fault but always good deep down. He wanted to not be miserable all his life, and in his universe this goal demands some selfishness. He gains notoriety in the streets, gains people's respect at last and some modicum of financial stability, but in so doing he loses all his friends, who now see him as one of the bad guys. And you can't blame them for thinking that, he's literally hanging out in shady warehouses selling knives, but we know he never partakes, he even warns his men not to kill and possibly requests Andrey's help to put the ones who disobey in line. Is it worth "being someone" if the price you pay is crushing loneliness? <- Grief arguing with his own reflection. And then P1 Grief is a whole other can of worms, he's SO fucking funny for a start, everything he says needs to go into a quote book. He's the opposite of his P2 counterpart, playing the part of the innocent fool just trying to get by, when he's actually the mastermind of the underworld. That is already a really fun character concept, but then you get to the Changeling route and a whole new side of this character is revealed. You sit there going, huh. You've known you were a toy this whole time too? P1 Grief is much older, he's been around the violence and the misery and hopelessness of this game he can never escape from, playing the role of the big bad wolf. I reckon he figured: hey, if I'm doomed to be a bad guy all my life, I might as well be best bad guy I can. Let it be fun for me too. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to change, he's absolutely devastated that even Clara may not forgive him, and if the holy girl can't do it, he's doomed doomed. I've mentioned before that P2 Grief could grow into P1 Grief in a way, after what Aglaya puts him through. Nothing matters, so why should I care that cutting is wrong; the blood on my hands isn't real. EVERYONE needs to play the changeling route !!!!!!

#thank you so much for the question!!#ask #multicarinata #bad grief #pathologic #i'm having plague thoughts (beware)#is anyone surprised i brought up andrey while rambling about grief

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maddiem4-writes · 6 months

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Yes, Anything

Close your eyes. It's late afternoon, and the golden streams of sunlight are creeping in through the stained glass of a half-full bar, lighting the dust motes into visible beams of varying tints and colors. This place doesn't get busier than happy hour, and for two women sitting at their regular booth - not a clean table, but probably the cleanest to be found here, with the least indeterminate stickiness and stale beer smell - it's the perfect density of schlubby middle-aged patrons and thin enthusiastic hipsters for a pair of conspirators to have a private conversation in peace and comfort. You notice that the thinner, sharper-edged of the two seems deep in thought…

I leaned back and groaned, blowing a smooth and careless river of smoke between my pursed lips, The Cigarette perched between my fingers in a deceptively tight two-finger pose. Carmen waited patiently, sipping her beer, watching me think. The noise of the bar, in warm tones like the wood of our booth seats, faded into the background. I closed my eyes and considered the biology of it. Everything else fell away from my attention, the clink of glass and murmur of regulars, gone.

"Fuck. There's no way around it." I opened my eyes and glared at a chip in the far wall. "We need a changeling."

Carmen laughed. "A changeling? Where are we gonna find a changeling for this job?" She brushed some crumbs off her oversized sweater, which permitted a clearer view of the permanent stains on the Eagles logo. She tapped at the edge of her plate with a finger. "What about a wolf. Eh? They're a dime a dozen in this town, we both know it. They transform too."

I shook my head. "Not in a way that could sever the connection. You still have an arm before, and an arm after, right? Either way, from wolf to human or back again."

She picked up her sandwich, took a big bite, and responded around it. "Shuw. Thas how weahwolves wook. Obviouswy."

"Obviously." I pointed at my arm. "Which is why we can't use a wolf for this job. It needs to be arm, then no arm - quick." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "You have to understand, this thing doesn't want to exist on its own. It'll work its little knifey ass off to stay integrated with the host."

Carmen gulped down her bite of BLT. "Right. The whole blood thing. Why is everything about blood, anyways?"

I shrugged. "Blood is life. Everybody wants life."

"Sweetie, I raised four kids. If I asked one of them what he wanted for his birthday, and he said 'blood,' we'd be looking up psychs in the phone book." She went in for another mouthful. "It's gwoss, bwood is gwoss."

"Well Carnificābō wants blood. It's just a dull, lifeless little stage prop without a host vascular system to tangle itself up in. It needs a battery, or it can't do its thing."

"Well why not one of us?" She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. "We've got arms and some shape changing abilities, asterisk."

I shook my head. "We're dead batteries. The knife needs a living thing."

Carmen gave me a devilish grin. "Well that probably rules out a few other options, don't it?"

I couldn't help but smile back at her. "You were going to suggest a vampire, weren't you?"

She took another glug of her beer. It was some kind of stout or porter, dark and heavy. "You know me. And I know you - if a vamp could do the job…"

I stared her down, lifting The Cigarette back up to my lips. "I'd do what's necessary. I'd complain, but I'd do it." I sucked the air through the tobacco and the filter. "A woman has to have her priorities in order."

"See that's what I kept telling myself." I saw the muscles in her neck tense up just a bit. "You can take that hint any time, honey."

I stared at The Cig, now nearly burnt down, and I stubbed it out in the ashtray in front of me. "I'm still just fine with my choices, thanks. I know what I want."

"At all costs."

"More or less."

She shook her head. "You're a fucking nutcase. I'm loving the ride, don't get me wrong here, sugar. I'm in all the way to see what happens. But you're a fucking nutcase, with a fucking nutcase contract, and that's just the facts."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I have the nutcase contract? Look who's talking."

She shook her head vigorously, swiping no with her hands, in a way that made the leftover cigarette smoke dance out of the way. "Uh-uh. There's a line, Lizzie - see, my contract is unwise." She made a vertical gesture with her hands, this box over here. "Your contract…" She gestured again in a distinctly separate zone of the space between us. "… is unwell. There's a difference."

"You're saying you'd pick something else, if you had the chance to do it over?"

"I dunno. I might. I think about it sometimes."

"Hey, I keep offering to go break some linebacker kneecaps for you…"

She jabbed her finger at me. "Don't you fucking dare."

I smirked, and took a second to go back to WINTER, 16 YEARS OLD, NEXT TO THE ICE MACHINE BEHIND THE 7-ELEVEN, HOLDING THE Cigarette. The only one I ever smoked. It was bad at the time, put me off smoking for the rest of my life, but after living I'd developed the acquired taste. It was a Camel Blue, better than a pack of blues you could buy today and at a cost of zero dollars. I stuck it in my mouth, struck the lighter in my other hand, and puffed the Cig to life for the thousand and something-eth time.

She glared as I continued smugly, "… and every time I offer, you always react like that. That's no way to live forever, you know."

"Well, not everyone is quite so 'aT All cOsTs' as you." It was a very funny impression, cartoonishly affable and icy. I was flattered. "It's the goddamn Eagles, you fucking harlot. There's things in this world that are sacred."

I couldn't help but show my teeth in a Cheshire cat grin. "This is why you're so fun to work with, Carmen. The way your mind works is a delicious and profound mystery to me."

She rolled her eyes, arms crossed, huffy. I could practically see the gears turning in her head. "And if we get the knife? Who's on the kill list, other than the obvious?"

I stole the sandwich off her plate and scarfed down a bite before she could protest. She stared at me, dumbfounded, and I winked at her. "Ashide from him - (mm) - obvioushly, there'sh shome who'sh, but alsho shome whatsh."

She leaned in. "Lizzie, you're concocting something, and I wanna know. What do you mean, whats? You said it's a knife that can kill anyone."

I swallowed. "Uh-uh. I specifically never said that. What I did say, was it's a knife that can kill anything." I licked my lips clean. "We're here, at this dive in midtown, right? So what's stopping me from taking a step forward and having sushi in Tokyo right now?"

"Well you're not in Tokyo, idiot."

"Right, but think. You have to frame the idea right. What is the obstacle in the way of me being in Tokyo? What's preventing me from just being there if I want to be?"

She looked at me suspiciously. "It's… far away."

"Exactly!" I yelled, a little too loud, and then dropped to a whisper. "It's distance, right? Distance is the obstacle."

The gears were starting to get traction in her brain. I could see it. "Sure…."

"Well distance is just a concept, just a thing, right? And let's say I had this knife in my hand, Carnificābō. A knife… that can kill… anything."

"Oh fuck."

"If you can frame it right in your mind, you start to realize this knife can do just about anything. Open a portal to a faraway place, if you kill the distance. Make you instantly rich, if you kill your poverty. Cure any disease. Kill your ignorance, to learn anything you want. For the price of having to think about it like a Jeopardy contestant, and having the handle of the knife integrate its veins with yours, you can grant more or less any imaginable wish."

At some point she'd gripped onto her glass, hard, and a bead of condensation had started a voyage down her finger. She didn't seem to notice. "Oh fuck."

"You wanna know why nobody's stolen the knife before? Not for awhile, anyways."

Her eyes darted back and forth conspiratorially. "Well I expect if someone has it, it'd be hard to take from 'em, given the whole granting of wishes thing. How the hell do you steal something like that?"

I wagged my finger. "Easier than it sounds. We won't be the first people to try."

"So he'll be paranoid, for entirely justified reasons, about someone stealing the fucking knife. That's swell, hon. How do you know someone else will try to steal it, anyways?"

"No. I mean someone tried to steal it a long time ago."

"Who?"

"Long story, doesn't matter, and stop interrupting. The owner, he panicked, and made a big juicy mistake. He killed time itself, in a bubble 3.7 meters in diameter around himself. It's been measured and everything. He, and the knife, they've been frozen in the bubble for about 40 years now. Nobody's been able to break into that bubble, but we will. If anything, that's the easy part." I leaned back, put my feet on the table, and puffed a ring of smoke. "We have boy wonder on the team now."

Carmen stared at me for a long moment. "Alan?" I wiggled my eyebrows and nodded. She took a deep chug of her beer. "Good luck with that one."

I raised The Cigarette in a mock toast. "He's already working on what we need, not that he knows it yet. But like I said, that's the easy part. When the bubble drops, we need to move fast. We'll have the advantage of the old host being disoriented and terrified, so I think we can lop his arm off faster than he can realize what's happening."

Carmen nodded, started to get her feet under her again. "Tricky, but doable, okay. What's the location?"

I sucked in another puff of tar and toasted tobacco mulch. "Warehouse in Pittsburgh, and that's where most of the challenge lies. The place is occupied. There's this… mm… a polycule, I suppose, of gnomes."

"Fucking gnomes," Carmen gritted her teeth as she said it.

"Oh yes. So you know what that's going to mean."

"Yeah. Automations. Defenses. Automated defenses. Enchantments and booby traps and random bullshit all over the floor. And that's if they're not home." She stopped, and gave me a pointed look. "They aren't gonna be home, right?"

"I have a distraction lined up," I reassured her, a bit of a purr in my voice. It was a good plan. "And besides, we're ghosts. What's a trap to a ghost?"

She held up her fingers and started counting off. "Salt lines, rock salt shotguns, iron cages, bear traps, rune circles, holy flame…. and don't forget, we'll have a new host to escort through the mess, one you told me in no uncertain terms needs to be alive."

"T-t-t-t-t. You're right about the defenses, but we don't need the host for the heist, just to use the knife afterwards. Think about it." I tapped out The Cig. "Easy, clean, and simple."

Carmen looked me up and down. "You really think so, don'tcha?" Her lip curled up. "I mean, it's not the worst plan. On paper."

"Oh Carmen, you wound me. As if you've never seen my contingency management skills before."

"Don't forget how you died, Sugar."

"Ancient history," I brushed her off, "that I learned quite well from, thank you very much."

She laughed, and finished off the rest of her beer. "You're a crazy one, Lizzie, but I'll play along. Where do we start?"

I fetched The Cigarette and sheltered it in the cup of my hands, striking the lighter until it caught. "Well, like I said…" I blew a current of smoke into the air above the empty glass and nearly-finished sandwich. "… we have to find a changeling."

#writing #maddiem4 #elizabeth maroney

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skullhazard · 10 months

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Today in "Skull finds something that someone was wrong about in Pathologic Classic HD," during the Changeling Route:

"And here's where you find out Clara's combat is hilariously terrible. I mean that literally. I was cackling when I discovered how shit this is. Clara doesn't have a fist fighting animation—instead she kind of waves her hands around all magic-like. It's a very slow attack and it does even less damage than the previous characters' attacks. Oh, and she has tiny hands so she can't use any weapons or guns, except for one shitty gun that sucks. So, good luck in fights as Clara." — hbomberguy (Pathologic is Genius, And Here's Why)

My guy, she can literally use the best melee weapon in the game. What, did you think that since she can't use knives, that meant she couldn't use the scalpel? You know, the melee weapon that kills muggers in two attacks if you're slashing them across the face? Clara's going around giving fuckers Glasgow smiles.

Also her unarmed attack is ranged?? Yeah, her magic hand-wave attack has range to it, to make up for her lack of reach. If that's not enough, the derringer does have a little delay in firing compared to the other guns, but check this out:

Gun — Bodyshot Damage / Headshot Damage

Revolver — 80 / 240 Derringer — 130 / 390 Rifle — 150 / 450 Shotgun — 180 / 540 Clara's "shitty gun that sucks" does 50 more bodyshot damage and 150 more headshot damage than the revolver. Daniil's pitiful little peashooter pales in comparison, and they use the same ammo, which is the cheapest and easiest to get!

There's "dramatic embellishment for the sake of comedy" and then there's "willfully or ignorantly making something sound horrible just to belabor your overall point that the game is difficult and unfun, when in reality you're just showing your entire ass at how bad you are at the game." I don't see the value here. You could've just said "she's limited in her arsenal and the only gun she can use is this one that has an awkward delay when you fire it."

I don't get it.

#skull hazard plays pathologic 1

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luxmaeastra · 1 month

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//YEE//

Thanatos gripped the edge of the stone fortress, the dawn light danced off her hair. Sive seemed not to notice his stares, or maybe she was used to it.

She wrung out her hair, leaning her face into the sun. He sucked in a breath turning to the slowly growing sunrise.

"Thanatos?"

He turned watching her lift those eyes to him. They were wide, light brown like fresh tilled soil.

"You know I'm not yours right?"

He exhaled, straightening.

"I know. I -"

He strode closer, fingers brushing at the tips of her hair.

"Make sure whoever he is, he earns you alright?"

She smiled, turning to walk to breakfast.

"Oh I will."

------

Why was it everything crashed into their lives? He remembered that day in the Ostium's dessert as Lilith her turned away from the three of them. A sacrifice it was later whispered, a gift to appease the Daglan who were furious a Changeling priestess had seduced their fieriest warrior.

Nyaxia had taken them in after their caregivers had died. She'd brought them to this new realm when all the other had been shattered or closed off.

She had been kind, a sister they had all desperately needed.

He suppose that was why she entertained the young Daglan males. Well one of them was a Daglan, his companion - Fion was...what was he?

------

Fion turned from the bonfire, looking to Theia. He brushed her away, turning to look at Sive, at how she shone like a sunset.

"Find another Theia, you aren't mine."

Fion pressed his claws to Thanatos throat, showing iron teeth. The festival thrummed around them. Thanatos leaned into the display, raising an eyebrow.

"You going to kill me or not?"

"Have you touched her?"

Thanatos exhaled.

"No."

Fion searched his eyes stepping back, and sheathing his claws.

"Fion! The fuck? I'm so sorry I -"

"I'm not."

Fion turned away from, brushing Thurr off as he walked back down the hallway. Thurr hissed after him, furiously whispering.

"What the fuck? We are guests Fion! You can't do that to -"

"Fine your mate Thurr, maybe you'd understand then. She's mine."

Fion's eyes burned in the torch light.

"She is mine and I will kill anyone who touches her."

Thurr snorted, not at all phased by the dramatic deceleration.

"Oh? And what if she wants that attention?"

Fion barred his teeth, stepping into his friend's space. Thanatos push against the leash Thurr held of his power. So Fion had been birthed and Bound to him as a hatchling.

"Listen to my words Thurr. Even you, even you. I will kill anyone who touches her - her wishes be damned."

"Fion?"

He turned those eyes to him, darkness twisting up his arms.

"What Thanatos?"

Thanatos brushed his arms of the dirt of the stone wall.

"Make sure you've Earned her. I'm not sure if you were raised with our values. But I loved her longer than you've known her. So you Earn her heart or I'll rip it out of your chest."

Fion nodded, he was a half-breed bastard. A gift to Thurr's family was the only reason he was alive. His parents had been slaugthered for their liaison, his entire life was built to protect Thurr. He had never wanted for anything else.

Till now.

He nodded at Thanatos, raising his chin. "I will."

------

Sive looked to Makaria, she was beautiful, soft. Surprisingly soft for the world and trauma they'd all endured as children.

"Are you she is different from her siblings Thanatos?"

She didn't want to see her oldest friend hurt. Thanatos eyes dragged slowly from Makaria to Sive. He nodded, his smile soft and tender.

"She is Sive. See for yourself, she's curious - she understands we aren't all evil. Our blood doesn't define us, she says so herself."

------

Sive watched her sew sipping at her wine. She tried not to pace, she hated when Fion was dragged off to hunts without her.

But Thurr was restless, Mala couldn't leave Brannon, not with the many spells holding her in place. Thurr's fury and restless was Fion's. They were Kindred, and she'd long accepted she came second to that.

"You know he isn't mine right?"

Makaria lifted her eyes, violet eyes meeting hers.

"I know."

She swallowed, gripping the knitting. The rings on her fingers glowing as she moved her hands into her lap.

"Do you hate that I am not like you? That he is mating someone like me?"

"I did."

Sive sighed and slowly sat down across from her. She reached for her hand, gently taking it.

"I did, but he's right. We aren't our blood, we aren't our family's mistakes. We are our own people."

Makaria's hand squeezed hers and she smiled. She blinked back tears, leaning into her.

"My brother has done awful things, Liam has payed for his sins. But you're right, he cannot lead us into this new age. You want to make him bend to you Sive appeal to his sense of duty, appeal to his guilt and anguish. Remind him what arrogance and stubbornness cost us all."

Makaria brushed her fingers over her stitching.

"We are not our blood. Thanatos has showed me a few of his forms, I love his true form. Our books call it a monster, but I find it beautiful. He is powerful and breathtaking. He is a protector, a guardian - not a monster."

------

Sarai and Natalia listened breathless to Nyaxia as she finished her tale. Sarai tugged at her wrist.

"Then what Auntie Nyxie? Why do Mama and Auntie Sive not talk?"

Nyaxia stared at the window, her eyes glazed.

"Because violence is all they both know. Because my sister attacks before answering questions. Because your family hurt mine and all my sister knows is to give as good as she gets."

Young eyes stared at the elder as she spoke, as she shared a truth that they were not truly old enough to understand. They understood hurting one another, they understood the concept of violence, but neither fully understood the true depth of what it meant and why their mothers were against each other.

Natalia looked to her friend, watching the conflict of emotions that washed over her face. Hearing about her father was probably hard, hearing what came before them.

Her hand reached out and gripped a hold of Sarai’s. “I’ll always be here Sarai, you’re my best friend and I will always be.”

“Nat…”

Natalia looked to her aunt. “We can always be friends right? Sarai deserves happiness, her and her sister don’t have what I have. Ma and Pa are together, they are always happy. So I want to be there for her, so she knows she’ll always have someone.”

#Muse | Sarai #Muse | Natalia

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shardkeeperwip · 4 months

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New Year's Eve, end of 2023

An old year ending is meant to be a time for reflection, right?

On the positive side, I finished draft 2.5 of Shardkeeper Book 1 (which is going to be called Changeling unless I come up with something else). I even got my sister to read it - still working on Dad, though.

I keep going back and forth about a fairly significant detail with one of the characters, but since that point will be a more central focus of Book 2 I'll hopefully resolve my doubts during the writing process.

I'm excited about ideas for three other WIPs too, if I ever find the time.

On the negative side...

I'll be honest, I've been in a funk for a while. I could say it's the weather but I know I'd be missing a lot of key points.

It is the weather in no small part, of course. Climate change and the domino effects thereof (rising racism in response to migration in response to places becoming unlivable) has been a heavy weight on my mind. That the year struggling to be born tomorrow is an election year is not lost on me.

It's things on smaller scales as well. A long commute to and from a soul-sucking job that chews up most of my week is a big one on that more personal scale. Everyday I watch my manager destroy her health, both mental and physical, to appease the temperamental CEO while Cruella in HR tries to sniff out any little misstep she can report back to him. I haven't gotten a raise in years. No one there has.

I'm stuck in a rut there but I feel guilty about the thought of leaving. We have such a tiny workforce as it is that my manager can't find time to let me train the other person in my department on everything I do.

And I'm finally admitting to my introvert self that I'm lonely. I've never been good at socializing. I really don't have irl friends outside my immediate family. I haven't seen my two friends from school in years (I am spectacularly bad at keeping track of time and somehow even worse at being the one to initiate a conversation out of the blue). I haven't really socialized at all since Mom died. That'll have been a whole decade ago in a few months.

So what do I DO about this in 2024?

I guess I start with job hunting. Losing an hour of my day to the commute alone and feeling the stress of how unfairly the job treats its hardest workers is one of the biggest things draining my energy to do anything else. I know from way too many years of working there that it's not getting better than this.

I was there at its worst. Things are miles better than the first years I was there. I saw Manager take the helm in all but title and pay to stop the ship sinking and make the place functional after the worse management got axed. I saw ideas I'd suggested finally, finally be implemented and things become fairer on the production floor. But the salaried Manager is still being worked to death. Raises are non-existent. The most vacation I can use at a time is a day or two because we have a skeleton crew.

I've been holding myself back, telling myself that it wouldn't be fair to leave Manager with a massive workload from losing half her department if I bail. But if I'm honest I'm sticking in my rut because I'm scared: because I know what to expect there and I don't know what another job might throw at me. I can't keep watching Dad worry about how little money I'm making or how miserable my job is making me either. And, of course, my own mental health. I am beginning to acknowledge that as something important, too.

Minor shout out to blind-the-winds' The Infinite Sadness AU for helping me put that into coherent thoughts.

The socialization is going to be harder. I've been using the ongoing Plague as an excuse (as well as losing a lot of my time to my commute and my energy to the job), but I think I actually do need to do the people thing. My social battery is low, so I know I'd have to start with something flexible, with the ability to bail if I get overwhelmed (so, like, not looking to restart my taichi classes because I don't feel like the obligation that comes with something I'd pay to attend would really work for me right now. At least not while also buckling down to job hunt).

So, I guess the first step there is learning how to socialize to begin with. Wish me luck.

Anyway, I'll start with job hunting. Gotta do it eventually, right?

If I do end up getting enough energy back from all that, I hope to find more writing time, too. Shardkeeper's second book isn't writing itself (I refuse to let creative endeavors be replaced by AI).

#not shardkeeper #new year's thoughts

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gccdstories · 5 months

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//For Rhys, Cass and Azzy. Haha we're going to make this angstttyyy//

Yvette couldn't tell the time or day. Just that her body burned, her siphon stone lay cracked before her. Her bones hurt, the Wyvern didn't rape them but they did everything else.

Small miracles she supposed that Hypaxia was able to heal them. But she didn't know how much longer that could work. Especially when the wards slowly sucked more of their magic everytime they used it.

Yvette crawled forward dragging the siphon stones into her hand. Morrigan had been gone a long time. They both perked up at the sounds of boots. Hypaxia still had her tongue no matter how many times they beat her face in.

"How much longer are you going to keep us alive? What's your end goal? Slowly starve -"

She choked as Morrigan was tossed inside, but it was the fetus that came a moment later that made her and Yvette stop breathing. It looked almost full term. How had none of them noticed? How had Hypaxia not heard the heartbeat??

Hypaxia stared at the changeling in a daze. The first tears hit the floor. She swallowed the bile in her throat.

"Why?! What did that child ever -"

"Nothing. That child didn't do anything."

The Changeling stepped closer, red eyes on her.

"But it would grow to hate us. To slaughter our kin, to make weapons from our bones. To be a thorn so we culled it young...don't look so horrified pet. You'd do the same to one of our own wouldn't you? Drown them, burn them we know the stories. We snapped it's neck, we at least didn't prolong its agony."

------

Yvette stared at the nearly formed child. She gripped the siphon stone shards, her blood coating it. She looked to Morrigan, she'd learned since that encounter.

She'd grown her magic and her appetitude in leaps since that moment all this years ago. Hypaxia paced, trying to stay active, trying to keep her wits about her.

Yvette slid closer to Morrigan. Her body ached, her body healing wrong.

"I can bring them back Morrigan. I -"

Hypaxia scoffed twisting to look at them.

"Don't give her false hope. No one can revive the dead like that. That child wasn't old enough to have a soul, to be named and -"

"I can Hypaxia. I wasn't asking your permission or approval. It can be done."

Hypaxia's eyes narrowed and she turned away. That constant anger, Yvette had grown used to it. She was always angry, at the war, at Rhysand, at Azriel for daring to have an independent thought.

If she was so angry why stay by her side? It's not like she and Hypaxia were ever very close. It's not like when this was done things would change.

Would it?

Did she have enough hope left for that?

------

Sebastian glared at the four of them.

"I will lock you four in here if you can't listen to directions."

"Fuck your fucking directions. They took my mate Sebastian! I'm not just sitting here and -"

Dagdan snarled as Sebastian slammed him into a chair and the blinds locked him in. He eyed his struggle impassively. He looked at the other three.

"You three going to listen to my direction or act like him?"

Morrigan hadn't spoken since she'd been tossed back in here. In fact, she barely registered her surroundings anymore. Didn't seem to care what Hypaxia said or did, what Yvette said or did. None of it mattered, her hands wrapped around her abdomen as she lay curled against the corner of the room.

She couldn't look at the fetus, at that child that had been growing inside of her mere moments ago... Because if she didn't look at it, then maybe this was just a nightmare and wasn't real and she'd wake up in bed next to Dagdan and all would be well...

Even if Morrigan knew that wasn't right. There was no waking up from this nightmare.

Not this time...

Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel had a good several feet between each of them. Like a part of them couldn't stand to be in the same in room with each other, but desperate times and all that. It was all Rhysand could do not to smother Cassian, all Cassian could do not to walk right out and do this whole thing his way only, all Azriel could do to even listen to any of them--

Dark and angry eyes lifted from all three males to Sebastian, each of them with their arms crossed over their chests. As if each of them were daring Sebastian to say or do something they didn't like, didn't agree with.

❝ He's right, you know. They've had them for--what? Weeks? Fates only know what's happening to them and-- ❞

❝ And we're getting them back. With or without your help. ❞ Cassian finished the statement, even if he didn't even look in Rhysand's direction as he did so.

@siderealxmelody

#asks ;; leave a message for the muses #siderealxmelody #muse ;; morrigan #muse ;; rhysand #muse ;; azriel #muse ;; cassian

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cambionverse · 7 years

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GUYS what are some background character headcanons you have??? any stuff you can't fit into the fics but want to tell us about???

HI sorry this took ages to answer we have. a lot. first, obligatory plug: there’s the fun facts tag for some of them! but we have a lot we haven’t posted yet cause we haven’t done a proper fun facts post in ages. okay here we go!

missouri and tamara are pals. there was no good way to mention this in synchronicity without it feeling really random and shoehorned, but tamara always visits if she passes by lawrence. they probably met before isaac (tamara’s husband) died, early in their time in the states—maybe missouri was even the one that introduced them to the truth, like she did for john winchester.

lisa and marie are biracial! both of their parents were jewish, but their mother was of israeli descent and their dad was european. interestingly enough, our fancast for ben, steven r. mcqueen, also has one biracial parent (his paternal grandmother was filipino), though we didn’t know that when we picked him.

jesse is left-handed, which is part of why his handwriting is so horrible. emily is ambidextrous. katie finds this competence hot.

emily loves funny hats. witch hats on halloween, santa hats on christmas, bunny ears on easter, the funny little light-up antennae during parties, the works. any time you can get away with wearing a funny hat/head accessory, she will wear one. she has a growing collection that she loves dearly and getting her a new one is the easy way to take care of birthday and christmas gifts.

ben collins, haley and tommy’s younger brother, was completely unplanned, which is why he’s so much younger than them. luckily, he finds it funny instead of mortifying. haley and tommy were always more like an extra set of parents to him than siblings, especially considering their biological parents died when he was very young.

part of the reason katie’s mom went crazy and stayed crazy even after the changelings were gone was because changelings suck up life energy, i.e. souls, and enough soul damage causes horrible nightmares and even hallucinations (we all saw what happened to sam). annette was the first victim and was with the changeling for longer than any of the other mothers, so she got much more damage than, say, lisa. it never went away or got better; she had days where she truly believed katie was a monster for the entire time katie lived there.

the reason katie’s parents got divorced was because her dad was gay. annette never had a super positive opinion of The Gays, but it definitely dropped another notch after that, and it meant finding out her daughter was gay too was no fun for either of them. even on the days when annette didn’t think katie was a literal monster, she came close to feeling like she was an entirely different kind of abomination.

meg is trans! this was revealed during enter night (we even tagged it with “trans meg masters” just in case it wasn’t clear), but in case you anyone skipped that fic: very definitely she is trans. margaret was the name she picked for herself while she was alive but everybody was too busy burning her at stake for heresy to care about anything like that. after she became a demon, she specifically chose hosts named margaret (or, as that name fell out of style, meg). even when she was alive, some part of her always wanted to be a mother, but she died fairly young and never had any biological children until jesse.

jesse’s middle name, aidan, means “fire-born.” meg being burned at stake meant her demonic self was fire-born too.

taylor simms—the cousin that attacked jesse in his sleep, who he accidentally killed—was really close to both oliver and elias, and her death was the tipping point for both of them when it came to whether or not jesse deserved to be hunted. we tossed around an idea a few times that taylor was actually secretly Team Leave Nondangerous Monsters Alone, and went to find jesse (either with or without telling elias/oliver) in the hopes of talking sense into him. whatever the case, she unfortunately startled jesse out of sleep when he was already running on paranoia and hypervigilance, so he ashed her. rip taylor.

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luxmaeastra · 6 months

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"| just - I wish I knew what the Changelings wanted? What are they looking for? What could they be looking for to tear about Daglan and Valg lands apart?"

Violet's hands clenched, feeling Calaena, Lucien, Estelle and Alura watching her.

Zimri looked to Xaden but didn't respond. Violet frowned and stood.

"Whatever you're hiding, Xaden this is where honesty comes in -"

"They're protecting me."

Orsus looked up from the floor, where they sat skimming the journal. Violet stilled, her heart pounding.

"I - what?"

"These specific Changelings feed on energy, life right? They're looking for the Wyrdkeys, they were made from my flesh. Your Wyrdstone can only give them so much energy. But the Vennin, these specifically Den of Changelings want more - they want an eternal source of it, which they'd get from me."

The played with a bit of string through their fingers

"The Wyrdkeys were connected to the Wyrdgates. Wyrdgates were made of my bones. I'm old Violet, I am eternal and they've been searching for me for a long time. Everyone has. I -"

"You don't need to tell her Orsus."

Xaden's voice was soft, steel. Orsus ignored him, leaning back against the wall.

"Magic was everywhere once. We had different realms once, but the first Gods got greedy. They tore me apart and cobbled together one world when their war destroyed the others. It pushed the three races, Daglan, Valg, and llken into one world. It forced them all to cohabitate - and they hate it. I was broken down and collared. I was made into their weapon. Honestly they've all used me, Fae too. They've all left an imprint on my soul."

They looked at their hands, tracing the lines on their palms.

"23 years ago the Daglan took more from me than I could handle. They were staving off their own mortality, Sebastian and Natalia still killed them in the end. Wyrdkeys, the gates they all came from me. I can't die but I can become so weak that it feels like what I suppose death would. Sebastian hunted the Wyrdkeys down to give back to me to eat. Natalia did the same with the Wyrdgates. It gave me enough energy to trust them. But no one else knows what they did, so they're all looking for me - and till they find me this will keep happening. They won't stop till they have me and suck me dry and do it again and again."

//Orsus wants friends! Really for your muses. I just needed to put people who knew.//

The revelation, the truth that was revealed. Their words filled the area, the tale they recounted of a time long ago. Back before many of them were born, back before many of them even knew what was going on. Alura’s eyes were fixed upon the gathering of the young, quietly watching over them as she fixed the leather strap upon the breast plate of her daughter’s.

She had remembered the day when Natalia had come back with another children, she remembered when she had told her about the newest addition to their family. It had been a surprise, one which she had tried to make sense of, but now it all came to light. The truth was laid before her, finally the secrets of that time all those years ago were coming to light.

Honestly she respected her friend for what she had done, for how hard she had worked to give them the life they now had.

“It doesn’t matter if you are the reason,” Celaena’s voice cut through the silence that now hung, those who hung on their every word. “No matter their reasoning and their wants, it doesn’t mean we should just let them.” After all, was there not enough changeling blood currently right there. One section did not dictate what the rest of them wanted, they were not all one giant hive. No, they were their own independent families, they had their own independent wants.

She moved to pull her dagger from the nearby target, shoving it into the concealed sheath before she turned and faced them. “You have foxes, wolves, both two different changing families who are on your side. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t see sense in fighting.”

#Muse | Alura #Muse | Celaena

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