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maddiem4-writes · 8 months

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Lime Slushie

I told y'all I'd write a sequel to that last piece, and yes, it's hornier. In fact, from a literary standpoint, I probably should have broken this into multiple chapters, but I didn't, because I wanted to keep my promise about this being the smut chapter. You're welcome :D

Place yourself in a verdant field, with the distant sounds of children climbing on a playground, a handful of ultimate frisbee players being a little too competitive about it, and the distant sounds of traffic, all seemingly muted by the quiet hum of life itself growing at its calm and everlasting pace. Time stretches on a day like this, but it never thins. There's shade under the trees, for those who want it. Vendors hawking various snacks. And in one particular patch of grass, bathed in sunlight...

A gnat buzzed in my ear, and I shooed it away lazily, drowsy in the sun. God, how I loved the sun. To think I'd ever seriously considered giving it up… the idea felt absurd to me now. The cheap beach towel under me, ratty as it objectively was, felt luxurious pressed between my tan skin and the freshly mowed lawn of La Vista Park. Late spring felt like my birthright, and I soaked it in with the casual entitlement of a queen.

There are certain emotions you eventually give yourself license to, when you get old enough to let go of the bullshit. Certain kinds of confidence, an unwillingness to live by anyone else's standards. My airbrushed purple bikini was starting to look a bit out of date these days, and my body wasn't perfectly trim like a magazine model - but nobody stealing glances at me seemed to be bothered, and neither was I. It wasn't so bad to look younger than I was. Let them look, and let them blush. I didn't mind.

I was laying there like a reptile when I heard him. Even still, there are moments where I think the footsteps are his - my eyes opened a little quicker than I would have liked. But it was just… some guy. Some guy who was clearly attempting to summon a lot of borrowed courage from any generous god or demon willing to oblige. I gave him something that bordered on a smirk. I leaned forward, and broke the ice directly.

"I don't bite, you know. Missed my window for it." I gave him a sweet smile, a generous tableau of canines and incisors.

He sputtered nervously, disposable paper cup shaking in his hand, and the straw shaking even harder. For a moment, anyways. He regained his composure well, and earned a tick more of my attention by doing so. Not just prey, this one. Interesting.

"I was wondering if, maybe, you'd like a slushie from the cart over there. The piña colada's really good. Like…", he struggled visibly with his words, "really really good."

I reached down and picked up a half-empty cup of my own. "Oh, I've got it covered." I took a sip of the bright green slush. "Lime flavor. That's pretty good too."

"Ooh!" he leaned down to examine it. "I didn't see that flavor on the sign."

I winked. "It's my favorite. Reminds me of home. Doesn't taste like actual limes though, it's the artificial, candy kind of lime. When it's sour enough, it makes your mouth water, so it's extra refreshing, you know?" I took another sip, drawing the cup back from his prying eyes, and savored the sensation washing over my tongue. "That's the good shit."

"I'll make a note of that. Especially since summer's just about here. Which… you're definitely dressed for." He blushed a little. Cutie.

"Who am I to argue with the weather? It's a hot day, I might as well dress for it. Life's too short - or, maybe too long - to worry what people think." I leaned forward a little, looked him in the eye. "If anything, I think they like it. If they allow themselves to admit it, that is."

He blushed even redder, but didn't look away. He looked me up and down, like he'd granted himself some permission to do so. "I… I'll admit it, yeah."

I held out my hand to shake. "That makes you more honest than most men I meet. And still polite, in a world where it seems like every guy is just one or the other. Congratulations on riding the line, Mr. ….?"

He seemed to shake out of a trance, a little bit. "Shaw!" He reached out with his slushie-holding hand, caught himself, swapped it to the other hand, and tried again with his now-icy right hand one more time. "Alan Shaw. Pleased to meet you."

I took his hand lightly, and shook. "Elizabeth. Just Elizabeth."

"You don't have a last name?"

"Oh, I do." I grinned at him. "I have it, and I love it, and I'm fiercely protective of it. That's why I keep it all to myself." I realized we'd stopped shaking, and I was still holding his hand. The gentle dappled shadow of the sugar maple leaves swayed over us and back again. He felt so alive, and I felt alive with him.

"Elizabeth, No Last Name Given. Alright." He seemed uncertain, but intrigued. "How about a phone number?"

I laughed. "Nothing in service. You got a phone, though?"

"Yes?"

"Good. Help me up." He lifted me to my feet by my hand. I was unsteady for a moment, I felt like I'd softened in the sunlight, all rubbery-legged. I shook it off, and held my other hand out. "Phone?"

He handed it to me hesitantly. "Who are you calling?"

I didn't look up at him, focusing on the screen. "Nobody. I need to check something, real quick, while I have the chance…" These days everyone's phone was pretty fancy and different from each other, which is not an ideal combination if you're always borrowing phones, but I figured out how to do a web search. I frowned.

He stared at me. "What?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

He popped his head over before I could stop him. "Wait, what? You a sports fan?"

"Me? I couldn't care less. But my best friend is."

He scratched his head. "Eagles, huh? I don't exactly follow sports myself. I had no idea they were taking off this year. Your friend, are they from Philly?"

I handed back the phone, screen privacy now entirely pointless. "Originally."

He looked at the screen himself. "They must be real excited. A shot at winning the Super Bowl, huh? That's gotta be a huge deal for them."

I pursed my lips and stared off into space. "Couldn't be bigger, honestly."

He finally looked up. "Shit. Sorry. I feel like I just invaded something personal."

I held my arm and looked down. "A bit, yeah. But you can make it up to me."

He stuffed the phone in the pocket of his shorts. "Anything! You name it. I really didn't mean to step in your private life or anything like that."

I looked up a little, at the markings just visible at the edges of his sleeves. "Anything, huh?" My mind raced, and I answered recklessly. "Then take me home with you."

"…what?"

"Not tonight. Not some scheduled date night you'll never show up to. Take me home now, or nothing." I had to look like I wasn't concentrating. Beach towel. Lime slushie. Hold in position. It was no wonder to me now why I'd felt a magnetism to this man. The risk and the reward were both astronomical, and I was going to chance it. If I was very lucky, this Alan guy would think with his dick. If not…

"N- now?" Come on. "Literally right now?" Yes. Just say yes. "With me?" You're the one, pal.

I shrugged and started rolling up my towel, putting it under my arm. "It's a one-time offer. If you're not interested, that's fine…" I was cursing profusely in my head. "But I'm heading home either way. So better make up your mind fast. I'm a busy woman, not lacking in options."

I think I saw him sweating. The towel wasn't so hard to maintain while I was touching it. I gave him a few seconds to look me over, and picked a direction for "home" in case I needed to take the bluff further. I slurped down the rest of my slushie, and began walking to the nearby trash bin. "Last chance," I said, tossing the empty cup in.

He looked around, debating with himself. "Fuck it. My place isn't fancy, but it isn't far either. Come on." He wasn't even parked far away. Cheap little beige sedan. Perfect.

The buildings passed by out the window, familiar to me by now after a long residence. I watched them go by, then turned to smile at my driver, who was stealing glances at my body. I winked, pulled down my top briefly, and told him: "that's all you get until we get there. Don't crash."

He grinned and saluted me. "Yes, ma'am!" And then turned his attention to the road just in time to slam on the brakes for a red light. God, I couldn't wait to see him naked.

His apartment was a basement with outdoor steps. It smelled damp and earthy, with a bit of fresh grass poking through the mud of the "lawn" that had long since become a walkway to the concrete stairs. There's a musty smell that all basements have, that got stronger as we walked down, and while I didn't mind it, it made me very glad I hadn't died in a basement.

He fiddled with the keys, until they jangled the lock open, and he rushed inside. Good boy. I walked in, and couldn't help but grin. I'd come to the right place, and it was obvious by the… decor. The books left open, the posters with sharpie corrections. I shut the door quietly behind me.

He was frantically trying to clean the place at the last second, apologizing for the mess, and I put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up, and I guided him to standing face to face with me, my finger on his lips. "It's alright. I like the mess. Leave it be."

His breath caught. "Okay."

I leaned in and I kissed him, tongue snaking around his, exploring him. His hands, somewhere between the roughness of a gardener and the softness of a scholar, started tentatively at my hips, then up my torso along the sides, then touching my breasts. Every second he was more urgent, or confident, or both. I reveled in it.

He broke free to breathe. "You taste like lime," he said, almost second-guessing his senses.

"And you taste like piña colada." He had scruffy brown hair, a little too long and shaggy, and I brushed it away as I caressed his face. "You were right. It's really, really good."

He gasped, and worked his fingers under my bikini top, grasping and groping, massaging my nipples. I began to unbuckle his belt with my hands. I soon had it free, and I broke off from kissing him again, and got on my knees for him. I prayed a thank you for the knockoff Persian rug beneath us, softer than the concrete below it, and slid his shorts down.

He was already hard, and I hadn't even done my due diligence of stroking him through the fabric. I knew I'd make up for that in a moment. At least from the waist down, his body was on display for me, and I liked what I saw. He was thin, and his cock was an average length and girth, but his legs had some tone to them, and the scratches on them… yes. I gave him one last look, and I think I must have been adorable, looking him in the eyes as I slid my tongue from his scrotum, up the shaft, all the way to the tip. He shuddered and leaned back against the bookcase behind him as I slid my lips down the length of him. He was salty and delicious.

And by god did I make it worth his while, and mine. I felt him on my whole tongue every time I got all the way down to the base. Up, down, up, down, feeling his fingers entwine in my hair. Hearing his sweet moans. I stopped halfway down, and worked him with my tongue inside my mouth, and I felt him grab a shelf of the bookcase to avoid crumpling to the floor. Emboldened, I pursed my lips for stiffness, so he wouldn't feel my teeth, and I sucked hard, and began bobbing my head like that. I wouldn't have cared if I made him cum then and there. I was lost in it.

His grip tightened on my head, and I knew what was coming next. I reminded myself that the need to breathe was an illusion for me. I couldn't get deader, at least, not this way. Fellatio is always an act of service, but it can seamlessly switch back and forth who's in control, and that's the beauty of it. Alan took control, and started forcing my head down onto him, fucking my face in its pretty little hole. I let myself go limp, even gag. I let him have his way with me. I became an object for his desire. If I'd been alive, I might have stopped him, but by now I'd had some practice pushing my limits.

When he finally pulled me off of him, I had tears running down my face, and a river of spit running out of my mouth and down my chin, with little threads still connecting to the sloppy drench of saliva on his penis. And I was smiling. I was proud. I looked up at him, messy and beaming. My voice was a bit hoarse and wet as I told him: "You can fuck me now, if you want."

He wanted.

He picked me up, hands under my armpits, and threw me against the bed so that I tripped and fell backwards onto it. He towered over me, with that look in his eyes. Knowing he was doing something wrong, something I wanted, something he could barely admit to wanting himself. I should have known he'd be rough with me. He peeled his shirt off, and I gasped. He truly was exactly what I was looking for.

I untied my top and threw it off, and was working off my bikini bottom when he put his hand on my chest and pushed me flat down on the bed. It was only when I went limp for him again that he took the hand back off, and used both hands to slide my panties off of me. He caught me by surprise by burying his face in my pussy, and I put a hand over my mouth to catch my own scream as his tongue slid inside me. His nose was rubbing my clit, and I used my other hand to grip his cotton sheets - a few weeks overdue for washing, and rich with the smell of him - writhing as he tortured me with pleasure.

He just kept going deeper, and then he started using his fingers… he crooked them upwards, finding that spot on the roof, and he stroked along the ridges. He moved his mouth to suck gently on my clit while he fingerfucked me. My body felt like it was on fire, and I moaned loudly. I was helpless to him.

Time seemed to stretch, I don't know how long he did that to me, but it was heaven. But when he stopped, he wiped his face on his arm, like he'd just finished up at a drinking fountain. He scooted me back on the bed. I looked up at him, feeling almost dizzy, so hungry for him to be inside me. He teased my clit with his cock once…. twice…. and then slid all the way in.

He'd lulled me back into a false sense of security with that detour into oral. His lust was greedy and aggressive, and he fucked me like he was trying to fuck the life out of me. I stared up into his eyes, my own glassing over, my brain being rattled into a submissive haze. He held me by the shoulders and drilled himself into me over and over and over again. At one point, he grabbed one of my breasts and fondled it, but the other kept bouncing with the power of his thrusts.

His breathing became harder, more jagged. I tried to nod, but my head was already being shaken up and down too much for it to be noticeable. He was going to cum inside me, and I wanted that so bad. Not for any plan, or ulterior motive. Just for me. Just to feel him do it. He fucked me harder, faster, pushing himself. I felt overstimulated and beyond the reach of reality. He took me for his own. It felt like a flood inside my pussy. I wasn't surprised that he was pent-up, but jesus. It lubricated him further as he kept fucking me, until his muscles spasmed with the roll of the orgasm, and he collapsed onto me, his weight cementing me under him, his cock plugging me full of his seed and preventing a single drop from escaping.

The sudden ending set me off in another orgasm, and I wished I'd been counting, but I'd got lost in the whirlwind of it all. I shook under him, and wrapped my legs around him, holding him even tighter. As close as a person can be. The thought flitted briefly in my head that maybe, just maybe, I'd underestimated my own loneliness. I didn't allow that thought to stay long. I just held him inside me.

We stayed like that for a long time. Interlocked, intersected, whole in a way we couldn't have been individually. We rested like that. When he finally pulled out of me, I lost control of my muscles again for a moment, shivering with stimulation. He rolled over next to me, wrapped his arms around me, and held me from the side. I looked over at him.

He couldn't look me in the eye, even as he held tight to me for comfort. When he finally spoke up, he said, in a simple statement of fact: "they don't sell lime flavor at the cart."

I shook my head. "No." And after a pause: "You've been carving runes in your skin, haven't you?"

He sighed and nodded.

I smiled. "I can show you the memory if you like. And you tell me what you're up to. Just… get dressed first."

He sat up, looking out a thin and pale-blue window of his basement home. "You say that like we both haven't made some huge mistake."

I put my hand on his shoulder blade. It lived up to its name on a thin guy like him, angular and defined. "We haven't. Or at least, I don't think we have. I think we've laid the groundwork to a very mutually beneficial partnership."

"Oh yeah?" he said sarcastically, pulling on a pair of jeans that had been crumpled at the foot of the bed. "Not getting any results in the Ghost4Sorceror section of Craigslist?" But there was a bit of playfulness in the tone. That's how I really knew. Got 'em. I knew you couldn't say no.

"Don't be an ass, hear me out. You tell me your thing, I'll tell you mine. We help each other. Friends with extensive benefits, what's not to love?" My towel and bikini had disappeared… probably an hour ago. My concentration had been elsewhere. I stood up, closed my eyes, and remembered:

SUMMER DAY. AUGUST. LATE 80'S. I WAS WAITING IN LINE AT THE BANK. I WAS WEARING A-

I opened my eyes, dressed in a red skirt and frilly orange top. The outfit had made me feel like a marigold flower, and made enough of an impression that I could remember it clearly, down to the shiny black heels. I felt fresh and clean.

Alan blinked. "That's fucking spooky."

I shrugged. "I'm a spook. And, well, you did just fuck me."

He wrestled his way into an uncooperative graphic tee, boasting a faded and pockmarked Led Zeppelin logo. "True and true. And for the record, I have no problem with spookiness. Obviously. I'm just trying to figure out which kink I've gotten myself into - interspecies, or necrophilia."

I waggled my finger in front of him. "Nuh-uh. Monsterfucker."

He stared at the ceiling in thought. "I can live with being a monsterfucker. Ah, crap, shoes…."

I laughed and offered my hand. "Don't need 'em! But… hold on.'"

He stared at me warily. "Why? Is it like, I'm gonna fall down the vortex of space and time, or fly across the city, or…"

I grabbed his hand. "No, dumbass, it just doesn't work if you let go." I closed my eyes and called up the same memory I had hours ago, when I was settling in at the park this morning.

JULY 4, 1982. SYRACUSE, NEW YORK. I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD AND MY DAD TOOK ME TO-

#maddiem4 #writing #elizabeth maroney

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gymfanconfessions · 2 years

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1. “ Unpopular Opinion: Elizabeth Price should have made the 2012 team over McKayla Maroney. They both had the same shot at vaulting gold and Ebee could have actually contended in the AA. She could have easily beaten Aly at trials had she not made a major mistake. “

2. “Unpopular opinion: Alicia Sacramone should have been on the London team over McKayla Maroney. She was a contender for gold on vault and beam. McKayla was a contender for vault. Also they should go back to 6 person teams because I think 6 is a better amount for an Olympic team.“

#gymnastics #confession #unpopular opinion #London Olympics #Team USA #Olympic team selection

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newagesispage · 3 years

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OCTOBER 2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

We miss U Charlie Watts!!

*****

The Stones performed at a private party for Patriots owner Robert Kraft of all people. The test run looked like just that. Shark jumped. I am becoming disillusioned.

*****

SNL is back with Owen Wilson as first host of season 47. Kacey Musgraves is the musical guest. Episode 2 will have a ridic choice for host. Halsey will sing. I suppose $ is power with the Kardashians. I could think of about 10 million other people to host but more and more Lorne goes for the shiny object , what he THINKS people want instead of taking risk. Beck Bennett is out.

*****

Is everybody watching the Amber Ruffin Show?? I loved her before but now… I learn so much from her show. Sometimes it takes a comic to get to the real serious shit. For example: Have you heard of drowning towns? Towns like Oscarville, Kowaliga, York hill, Seneca Village, Prentiss and countless other black towns that were drowned out to make lakes for the local whites. Central Park was also made after a black community was erased from history. Development displacement? Alleyway dwelling authority? Even those rabid for history can find out new things everyday. Thanks Amber!!

*****

Bob Woodward and Robert Costa are finally giving us Peril !!!!!! I’ve been waiting!!** I was in political nerd heaven on Sept. 24 when Yamiche hosted Robert, Bob and Weijia Jang on Washington Week. All of my favorite pundits all together at one table, my dream team!!

*****

Iman looked great at the Met Gala!! Other great looks belonged to AOC, Tessa Thompson, Maluma, Helen Lasichanb and Pharrell Williams. Gigi Hadid, Kiki Layne, Ashton Sanders, Hailee Steinfeld, Kehlani, Zoe Kravitz, Michaela Cole, Lili Reinhart, Kate Hudson and Shai Gilgeous- Alexander were great. Whoopi Goldberg seemed a bit off.

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Jason Isbell is back with his latest offering, Georgia Blue.

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I see a lot of Title Max type establishment are closing down. Are they a thing of the past? Let’s hope.

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Law and Order is coming back to NBC for season 21. Dick Wolf will own 2 entire nights of television. Some of the old cast is reported to be returning.

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Britney Spears Father was suspended as her conservator.

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Timothy Chalamet, Rowan Atkinson, Sally Hawkins and Olivia Coleman will star in Wonka.

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The 2022 Super Bowl halftime show will bring us Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Dr. Dre and Kendrick Lamar.

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People are doing test runs for school board positions to see if their political ideas will play well for the big leagues. If they don’t seem to work, at least they can sometimes change the rules in their own area.

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Joe Rogan got Covid.

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Lake Michigan beaches were closed down thanks to a US Steel plant chemical leak.

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Is this country the master of endless administrative work? None of us should have been surprised at the red tape that the slowed down the end of the war in Afghanistan.** Uber donated 50k for rides and meals to the Afghans when they arrive.**And why do so many waste taxpayer $ on useless recounts and recalls when people need real help with food and healthcare? They must really hate humanity.

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R. Kelly was found guilty of 8 counts of sex trafficking and 1 count of racketeering.

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Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

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Texas has put a law into effect to allow most Texans to carry open without permit or training.

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Texas has banned abortion at about 6 weeks. Uber and Lyft will pay drivers legal fees if sued under Texas abortion law. Lyft donated $1mil to Planned Parenthood. ** Look for the ruling in the Mississippi law over Roe V. Wade in June 2022.**Hear us roar!** BTW.. Go Jen Psaki!!!!!!!

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They seriously banned plastic straws and abortion before assault rifles? – Eden Dranger

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Please stop banning abortions, the last thing the world needs is more Americans. –Sarah Beattie

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Women don’t inseminate themselves. Vasectomies are reversible. Should every man have one until he’s deemed financially and emotionally fit to be a Father? – Bradley Whitford

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90 year old William Shatner will go to space for Blue Origin.

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The Q Anon Shaman pled guilty to a felony for obstructing the Electoral College proceedings. I say 20 years and a $250K fine.** 600 others have been indicted.

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Days Alert: The Beyond Salem thing was ridic but it was so great to see some old characters. Days is so great at visiting old family. Who can resist Shane, Austin and Carrie, Billie and the old Kristen? I do wish that Peacock would get their kinks out!! Back to the real Days: Are we smelling an Emmy for Susan Seaforth Hayes and Bill?? ** Good to have Abigail back. It is always fun to wonder which actress and or personality it will be. ** Deidre Hall got her star on the walk of fame.**And just in time for Halloween, the Devil is making a comeback. The end of the year in Salem is always the best!! It is so brave to give the 96 year old man the old switcheroo into the Dark Lord. It was fun to see the grandkids discover Grandma Marlena’s story. Delicious!! Hail Satan!!** It is past time for Tate and Teresa to come back to town. Brady needs to be put in his place. And thanks for the Philip and Chloe flashbacks!!

*****

The breakdown of the vaccinated: 90% of Atheists, 86% Hispanic Catholic, 84% Agnostic, 79% White Catholic, 73% White mainline protestant, 70% Black mainline protestant, 57% white evangelical. 1 in 500 Americans have died of Covid.

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So Mike Lindell and Jim Baker have teamed up to sell children’s Bible pillows.** Piers Morgan has returned to the Murdoch organization by joining Fox. That sounds about right.

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Please stop saying the vaccine does not have severe side effects, I took my shots and now I’m alive and have to keep working. –Mohand Eishieky

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In theatres Oct. 22: The French Dispatch.** October also brings us a new season of Curb your enthusiasm and Oct. 17 will catch us up on Succession. Whew!!!

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So people under conservatorship are not free to marry who they want? What?

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46% of Americans believe in ghosts.

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Simone Biles, Mckayla Maroney and Aly Rasiman testified at the Senate judiciary hearing about the FBI’s handling of accusations against Larry Nassar and it was eye opening!

*****

We wanted a no -nonsense Dem who pushes on and does not puss out. I am a bit surprised to see we have it. There are so many pressing issues that I hope Biden works a bit more on Haiti though.

*****

The National Police Act was passed to celebrate cops. Still no police reform.

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John Mulaney and Olivia Munn are going to have a baby.

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The Emmy’s were a little different this year with more of a Golden Globe look. Cedric the Entertainer hosted with Reggie Watts as DJ. Lots of minority noms but barely a win. It was a white people night. Ted Lasso had a great night. Mare of Eastown took home a few with Evan Peters, Julianne Nicholson and Kate Winslet. Now, Kate is great but how did Anya Taylor- Joy not walk away with that? Queens Gambit did win a couple and gave the longest speech with the seemingly arrogant director Scott Frank who opened up 2 page acceptance. Categories were tough but I was routing for Renee Elise Goldberry and Bowen Yang but perhaps next year. The people in England who had their own party for all the statues that the Crown won seemed to be having more fun! Hacks won for writing and directing and Jean Smart!! It was nice to see the Norm Macdonald love which was barely mentioned by Lorne but celebrated by John Oliver. Colbert ‘s election night special won as did JB Smoove. Hamilton won and Debbie Allen got the big one. I do not understand why real singers and or musicians have to be there for the in Memoriam. It takes me out of it a bit and concentrates the focus on them. Do they think that people will pay attention more? Do they want to keep the home audience or live audience from the bathroom? My best dressed were Anya Taylor-Joy, Michaela Cole who won for I may destroy you, Jean Smart, Josh O’Connor, Kathryn Hahn, Billy Porter, MJ Rodriguez, Keenan Thonpson, Leslie Odom Jr., Catherine O’Hara, Trevor Noah, Eugene Levy, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys, Bowen Yang, Anthony Anderson, Leslie Grossman, Amber Ruffin, Allyson Felix, Renee Elise Goldberry, Samira Wiley and Rege- Jean Page. My worst were Sarah Paulson, Gillian Anderson, Beanie Feldstein, Elizabeth Olsen and Aidy Bryant. To me the best part of the show was the enthusiasm of Conan and the way he injected himself into much of the evening .He was the show. Go Conan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Next year there must be some Emmys for Sarah Paulson and Cobie Smulders in Impeachment!!!!!

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Oh Boy!! The Eyes of Tammy Faye!!

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Looking forward to the Electric Life of Louis Wain with Benedict Cumberbatch and Claire Foy.

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Abba has a new album!!

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Shang Chi is the biggest Labor Day opening with a $71.4 mil opening.

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Sen. Amy Klobuchar has announced she has breast cancer.

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Is it the 70’s? A streaker ran past the studio of the Today show.

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Rascal Flatts Joe Don Rooney was arrested for DUI.** Nicholas Cage was thrown out of a prime rib pace in Vegas after being drunk and disorderly.

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Jennifer Eckhart has filed a lawsuit against former Fox news anchor Ed Henry for rape and retaliation after allegedly being handcuffed and beaten.

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Scarlett Johansson has settled her Disney lawsuit.

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Pete Buttigieg and Chasten had twins they named Penelope Rose and Joseph August.

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I noticed a commercial for Dancing with the Stars. Are we onto the E list because I have heard of hardly any of these people. ‘Stars’is really stretching it. And as I post this I see there are some covid issues there as well.

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Virgin River was renewed for 2 more seasons.

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Trevor Noah is right? Why do they stop giving lollipops to adults at the doctor?

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Jon Stewart is back on Apple tv with ‘The problem with Jon Stewart.

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Brooklyn 99 had about the best finale (other than Newhart) that I can recall. I had my fingers crossed that Chelsea would be back. Will they honor us like they did in the show and come back for a special about once a year? That would be fucking awesome!!

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Don’t expect compliments from an insecure person.- Mr. Pickles

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Thousands and thousands of people are in need. Haitian refugees and other immigrants have seen nothing like this what with assassination, a hurricane and earthquake. The Southern border is a mess.** Why does Fox news keep telling refugees the border is open as they sit back and laugh at Biden’s predicament. Spreading false info to intentionally hurt poor, distressed people has no end for them.

*****

Do companies know how fucked up their employment websites are? It is true that some people do not want to work. It is true that people schedule interviews and don’t show up. It is also true that companies have made it so hard to apply that many can’t. I suppose it is easier for them but the poor who may really want to work have a hard time. Paper applications are almost completely gone. The old fashioned way of walking into low paying job sites and finding a connection with a manager rarely exist. Some places only accept texts or have long ridiculous psych tests that a working Mother may not have time for. A Father working many hours already, may not be able to go to the library to get online if they cannot afford a computer. Many websites tell you that there no positions available in your area while there is a huge sign in front of the establishment. Can’t find people to work.. Gee I wonder why?? And treat people with respect once you find them, how about that?

*****

Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success. –Jerry Seinfeld

*****

Hey.. There was a van air B’n B biz going that got busted. Hey.. The poor need vaca’s too. It is wrong but If they are willing to sleep in a van, why not. I truly think that many do not understand how much people are struggling.

*****

Free coffee day came and went but only a few places really gave you free coffee without rules to govern the promo. Some places wanted to sell you something else and some made you belong to their club. Starbucks held that customers had to come inside for the free cup of Joe, handicapped or not.

*****

One would think the Republicans would run out of $ for recounts but they have deep pockets. Just think how much good they could do for the huddled masses with that scratch.

*****

Sad to lose Mick Brigden, protégé of Bill Graham who managed The Stones and worked with Frampton, Dylan and Santana.** And the comics were very vocal about the loss of Norm Macdonald. He was one of a kind and he will be missed!

*****

R.I.P. Ruth Marx, Lee Scratch Perry, Willard Scott, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Isadore Bleckman, George Wein, Michael K. William,George Holliday, Anthony Johnson, Basil Hoffman, Al Harrington,Willie Garson, Mick Brigden, Tommy Kirk and Norm Macdonald.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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30 Rock: A Trip Through Jenna Maroney’s Wildly Absurd Backstory

https://ift.tt/3xipFYl

Forget Jay Gatsby, Forrest Gump, and Fievel Mouskewitz, no fictional character so thoroughly embodies the American dream as Jenna Maroney. Conceived on a toilet, born on a kerb, and raised in a swamp, Maroney flew to fame and fortune on a rocket built from desperation and a pathological need for attention (why should babies get all the fuss? They’re not the only ones who can fit both feet in their mouths).

Born Ystrepa Grokovitz to parents Verner and Werner, and brought up in Toilet Cove Swamp, Jenna was a natural performer from a young age, gracing many a Florida child pageant stage and at Christmas, regaling mall staff with carols to distract from her mother’s shoplifting. She boasts a seventh grade education and a diploma from the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks, at which she majored in game show pointing and theatre superstitions. It all changed for Ystrepa when she met roommate and best friend Elizabeth Lemon, future head writer on NBC late-night comedy sketch show TGS – which brought us such greats as Gaybraham Lincoln and Fart Doctor.

Actor announcement! The character of TGS star Jenna Maroney was originally Jenna DeCarlo, a part Tina Fey wrote for her Second City and SNL co-star Rachel Dratch, who played Jenna in 30 Rock’s unaired pilot (see below) before being unceremoniously replaced by NBC execs. Dratch went on to multiple appearances in various character roles in the show’s early days.

Back to this timeline. At 29 years old (cough), Maroney has built some career. Not only a comedic sketch performer, she’s also a serious dramatic actor with roles ranging from murdered prom queen to murdered runaway to murdered sex worker to werewolf (various). A talented singer, she’s enjoyed international pop success with hits including ‘Muffin Top’, the theme song from musical ‘Rural Juror’ based on the novel by Kevin Grisham, and, who could forget summer jam ‘Balls’. Her vocal stylings can also be enjoyed in such classics as ‘Break Another Little Chunk of my Lung’ in her lead performance in unlicensed Janis Joplin biopic ‘Jackie Jormp-Jomp’.

Tina Fey Asks NBCUniversal to Pull Four 30 Rock Episodes, Three Containing Blackface

By Tony Sokol

30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes

By Louisa Mellor

So high-maintenance she makes Miss Piggy look reasonable and down-to-earth, Jenna’s meltdowns are as regular as her name drops. She loves to be wanted, and is, by the Yakuza. Jenna’s Hollywood lifestyle brings her into contact with many a famous face, towards all of whom she is fiercely competitive and extremely vindictive. She has multiple running feuds with US tween stars, for whose recently-out-of-rehab mothers she is regularly mistaken at awards ceremonies.

In the cut-throat world of entertainment, Jenna is a survivor. (Literally. She watched her entire church group get eaten by a bear.) That survival is rooted in her unfailing self-belief and deep psychological damage. Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming Jack Donaghy describes her as an unceasing onslaught of dysfunction, while she’s proud to have been declared “unfixable” by TV’s Dr Drew. All of which led to a major career boost when she channelled her total lack of conscience into becoming the mean judge on reality talent show America’s Kidz Got Singing.

Less America’s sweetheart, more its slutty cousin, Jenna’s a multi-hyphenate with a colourful dating history and a weird sex tape for every occasion. She’s not only on cam-a-rah talent, but also the face of the vaginal mesh industry and briefly, was the spokesmodel for Enormé (America’s number one fragrance for plus-sized women). All that, and she’s been writing a sex column for Cosmo. (Cosmo is her 14 year old neighbour. He doesn’t know anything). Few could live life at Jenna’s speed. But you know what they say: if you can’t stand the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.

Mr Rourke is just one notch of many on Jenna’s bedpost, alongside OJ, Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold, two of the Backstreet Boys, Frank Rossitano and Dog the Bounty Hunter. A legendary international adventuress, Jenna Maroney walked so Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek could run… away from the Thai drug lord she’s bribing with sex to help her free Vin Diesel from a Ugandan diamond smuggler’s villa.

Since the end of TGS, Jenna’s been a free woman – doubly so since the sheik who won her in that poker game was beheaded – and therefore able to devote her time to her marriage with gender dysmorphic bigenitalia pansexuelle and female-impersonator Paul, and her hobbies: getting turned on by car accidents, horse-electrocution, and Italian sex parties. From the wiggle in her walk to to the bullet lodged in her jaw, the woman’s an original. Charge your glasses and join us in a toast: She runs a tidy bakery, the boys all want her cake for free… everybody, to the monstrous Jenna Maroney!

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30 Rock is available now on Netflix US.

The post 30 Rock: A Trip Through Jenna Maroney’s Wildly Absurd Backstory appeared first on Den of Geek.

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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Star, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Kardashians in ruins

Page 1: Fans jumped to conclusions when Taylor Swift who is known to drop hints about her personal life in her music videos posted a teaser shot for her new clip for Willow of herself in a lacy dress and floral headpiece looking very much like a blushing bride -- Taylor and boyfriend Joe Alwyn have been talking weddings and they initially discussed throwing a big bash in Joe’s native England but they’ve reconsidered since holing up in Taylor’s farm outside Nashville so now they’re just going to go ahead and get married in a small romantic ceremony and forgo the church wedding and elaborate reception since they are super private and prefer to do things out of the spotlight

Page 2: Contents, Heather Rae Young scoped out wedding dresses with Chrishell Stause by her side

Page 4: Jennifer Lawrence and Leonardo DiCaprio are heating up the Boston set of their movie Don’t Look Up where their chemistry is off the charts even though both are seriously taken: Jennifer is wed to Cooke Maroney and Leo’s been dating Camila Marrone since 2017 but Jennifer and Leo have always had a flirty rapport whenever they bumped into each other at awards shows and other industry events -- Jennifer’s husband Cooke could be annoyed with all the flirting even if the actors are keeping things professional and as for Camila she finds his connection with Jennifer pretty intimidating

Page 5: There’s plenty of tension on the set of The Morning Show now that Julianna Margulies has joined Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston on the series -- Jen wasn’t in on the decision to add Julianna to the cast and is miffed she wasn’t consulted and doesn’t understand why Reese insisted bringing Julianna on board and she’s just plain hurt that the new arrival has been getting so chummy with her BFF and Julianna and Reese are whispering behind everybody’s backs and barking orders like they own the place and they’re not even inviting Jen to lunch

* Olivia Jade Giannulli addressed her part in the $500,000 bribe that ensured her entrance into USC and sent her parents Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli to prison and reactions to her appearance were harsh with a typical commenter calling her smug but she thinks she did well and figures this will be good for her career as a social-media influencer

* Martha Stewart has been flourishing during lockdown and a new photo shows her looking beyond refreshed leaving some to wonder if she’s doing more than nibbling her new CBD gummies to look so good

Page 6: Kelly Clarkson’s divorce from Brandon Blackstock may be getting ugly but her ex-mother-in-law Reba McEntire is standing by her side even though it can get a little awkward at time but nothing is going to get in the way of Kelly and Reba’s relationship

* A slew of A-listers are about to be dragged into Johnny Depp’s defamation case against his ex-wife Amber Heard as shocking new court papers allege that Johnny had affairs with a bevvy of his costars including Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley and Marion Cotillard and must submit all responsive communications with them -- the women are mortified and embarrassed they’re being pulled into Johnny and Amber’s tawdry split while for his part Johnny flipped out when he learned he needed to produce his communications with these women and he’s calling the tactics lowdown and disgusting

* Star Spots the Stars -- David Beckham, Chrissy Teigen, Carrie Underwood, Gal Gadot, Floyd Mayweather, Nick Offerman, Hilaria Baldwin

Page 8: Star Shots -- Audrina Patridge and her daughter Kirra out in Beverly Hills, Pete Wentz let his bleached hair down during a tennis game in L.A., Joe Jonas and wife Sophie Turner walking with their daughter in a stroller in L.A.

Page 10: Steve Martin took his meal to go during a break from filming Only Murders in the Building in Central Park, Josh Duhamel and his son Axl enjoyed a playful romp in the grass, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum celebrated their one-year anniversary in Bora Bora

Page 11: Diane Keaton jokingly flirted with the men watching on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in Burbank, Sir Michael Palin brought the laughs during his appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show in London

Page 12: ‘Tis the Season -- Kristen Taekman left a nursery in Encino, a decked out Lil Nas X and Ellen DeGeneres opted for a safe season’s greetings by bumping elbows on the talk show

Page 13: Brooke Burke was all smiles shooting content for her fitness app in Malibu, Niecy Nash and wife Jessica Betts kicked off their first holiday season as a married couple in plaid pajamas

Page 14: Kylie Minogue performing on The Jonathan Ross show in London, Irina Shayk out and about with daughter Lea in NYC, Jeremy Renner and Hailee Steinfeld and a canine costar filmed scenes for Hawkeye in NYC

Page 15: Selling Sunset star Christine Quinn showing some major skin during a photoshoot in L.A., Antonio Banderas and journalist Maria Casado posed for photos at a presentation for their new Spanish television series Escena en Blanco y Negro in Malaga, Spain

Page 16: Beach Babes -- Chantal Jeffries and boyfriend Drew Taggart in Miami, Mark Zuckerberg showed off his gliding skills on his $12,000 eFoil electric surfboard in Hawaii

Page 17: Chris Pratt used his hoverboard as a weight after hitting the sand with his son, Julia Roberts enjoyed a solo stroll in Hawaii

Page 18: Normal or Not? Vanilla Ice headlining the drive-in Winterfest concert in West Palm Beach -- normal, Demi Moore wearing big boxing gloves -- not normal, James Franco couldn’t go without his phone during a getaway in Mexico -- not normal

Page 20: Fashion -- stars look timeless in black -- Sofia Carson, Nicole Richie

Page 21: Taylor Hill, Vanessa Kirby

Page 24: Like so many Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are putting their future on hold amid the global health pandemic and Gwen revealed that the two won’t even set a date for their nuptials in order to avoid a COVID situation that would require restrictions -- they have already nailed down a few details like the location which is Blake’s Ten Point Ranch in Oklahoma where he proposed inside a chapel Blake built for Gwen on the 1300-acre property

Page 25: Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox are embroiled in a bitter custody war over their sons Noah and Bodhi and Journey -- Brian responded to Megan’s divorce filing by requesting joint custody and spousal support and he’s in a non-negotiating mood and if she tries to take his kids it’s going to get ugly really fast

* James Franco is ready to pop the question to girlfriend Isabel Pakzad and he’s been looking at rings -- dating since 2017 the two overcame a difficult time in 2018 after James was accused by multiple women of misconduct -- surviving that scandal and enjoying their time in lockdown has convinced James he’s found The One

* Kristin Cavallari and comedian Jeff Dye who were first linked in October jetted off to Mexico for a fun getaway with friends where the couple smooched and danced and enjoyed cocktails and had a wonderful time in Cabo but Kristin isn’t looking for anything serious following her divorce from Jay Cutler

Page 26: Cover Story -- the Kardashian empire crumbles -- with their show leaving the air early next year the Kardashian-Jenner crew could stand to lose it all -- ratings for Keeping Up With the Kardashians reached a new low before they pulled the plug and it’s obvious fans are losing interest and they spend money like it’s going out of fashion

Page 30: A Spy at the Palace -- after a staff member steals more than $200,000 worth of her personal keepsakes Queen Elizabeth no longer feels safe in her home

Page 33: Gone Too Soon -- a look back at the celebrities we lost in 2020 and the legacies they leave behind -- Naya Rivera, Kelly Preston, Regis Philbin

Page 34: Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, Alex Trebek

Page 40: Beauty -- pretty pout -- sparkly, shiny and matte lipsticks to rock this New Year’s Eve -- Rihanna

Page 42: Entertainment

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Vanessa Hudgens as host of the first MTV Movie & TV Awards: Greatest of All Time

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