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binniesthighs · 3 years

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hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: I sincerely apologize for the pain caused with last chapter...so naturally, i had to go and write more pain muahaha. i also apologize for the wait on this one, for some reason i had a weirdly hard time getting this one out of my head, ahhh i think I’m just lil sad about it all ending :( but! we’re almost out of the woods cuties!! thank you so very much reading as always!! <3 this is the second to last chapter and idk how to feel ahhhh

Part 7

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, roommate!minho, explicit language, some kissin’ and that good, good makin’ out, soft n’ intimate body touchinggg, mentions of getting drunk in the past, mentions of a toxic familial relationship, gahhh lots of crying and emotions in this one but it’s bc we’re figuring things out :)

CW: dub-con-ish scene due to conflicting feelings but it gets stopped pretty quick

Word count: 7.6k

Chapters

Jisung shared his apartment with two equally messy boys. You had forgotten their names despite meeting them and seeing them around on more than one occasion. Lucky for you, they each had distinguishing features so you named them as such: tall one and younger one with white hair. Once upon a time the four of you had hung out and they weren’t unbearable, just a bit cookie-cutter as you had called it. Both of them were in the same music school as Jisung and didn’t have many other interests outside going to music shows and playing PC games while loudly shouting.

There was never food in that apartment but somehow there was always dirty dishes in the kitchen. Sure, it smelled a bit like dirty socks, but you never paid too much attention to that when you would clambering in the door with your lips locked with Jisung’s. It was strange walking in not doing so. Tall one and younger one with the white hair sat on the couch eating pizza with feet kicked up on their banged up coffee table. They didn’t say anything as they watched you walk in, but merely rolled their eyes and pretended that you weren’t there anymore.

“We can go to my room.” Jisung raked his hand through his greasy brown strands, then kicked aside approximately ten pairs of sneakers. He held onto your hand tightly--so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

You nearly slipped on that rug that lined the wooden floors of their hallway. It wasn’t the first time.

Just as the rest of the apartment was, Jisung’s room was strewn with all kinds of random articles such as dirty clothes, tangled up cords and old to-go containers. His bed was unmade; it was those navy sheets that likely hadn’t been washed in several weeks. You could never really pinpoint what they smelled like, just that they smelled like him. You had spent nights there too, but they were nothing memorable. No groggy mornings with coffee or sunlight streaked onto his features for you to admire in the golden sheen. It had been running late to class and the dozens of times that you had left jewelry and hair-ties.

“Wanna sit down?” Jisung patted the spot next to him, and you did so.

The two of you sat in silence, the atmosphere became thick with the tangible sense of disaster that hung around the both of you. It was catastrophic.

His trembling hand came reaching for yours, and you let him take it. He sniffled, and it triggered your eyes to fill with the same hot tears.

For the first time, you wondered, what am I doing here?

“You want to lay down?” His puffy eyes asked you.

You nodded, crinkling those bedsheets that were probably full of dust.

In all your months of knowing him, you had never, never cuddled. This was the first time and you really weren’t even tied together anymore.

His nose had turned pink, and he rubbed a bit of snot away with his wrist.

“Thank you for coming here.” Jisung whispered. “But--what are you doing here? I thought that you were with Changbin now?”

I am. You thought briefly. Am I?

“I just...so confused right now. I don’t know...there’s just...I don’t know...”

A tear fell down Jisung’s cheek, and you couldn’t fathom why he would be the one crying when it should’ve been you. You wiped it away. You had never thought of it before, but seeing him cry brought a sting to your chest.

Jisung leaned forward, and the bed creaked lightly, then he kissed you. It wasn’t really a passionate one, but one that he had used to say more than he could himself. His lips tasted salty running over yours, and your brain froze deciding what to do. Jisung never changed: as broken as it felt, he was still starving, needy, and rough. You tried to find meaning in it, or if it made you feel.

It didn’t.

Jisung held your face in his hands, and with a hesitant sigh, he said, “I really, really wanted to do that for so long.”

As desperate he had seemed for you, you couldn’t find the same desire if you had tried. Maybe, you had to find it?

“Kiss me again.” You hushed.

He licked his lips with a gaze softening. “Okay.”

This time he swung his legs around your hips and straddled you with the kind of pressure that you had craved, once upon a time. He bent down to press even more of his heated desire on your skin. He was a good kisser, and you remembered once again how you really had wanted to have him kiss you like this, once upon a time. His tongue slicked against your bottom lip and you gave him the permission, testing it out just to see.

You had thought back then that he was unreal.

Jisung rutted his hips down into your waist, and you had already felt how he had hardened in his sweatpants.

You knew how it would go...or how it used to.

“Baby, I want you so bad. You have no idea. I-I don’t think that I want anyone else besides you--” He broke to meet your eyes. Your world blurred, and sobbed out from under his gaze.

What am I doing here?

“Baby, what’s wrong?�� Worry flooded over his face.

“I-I can’t do this, I shouldn’t do this, fuck--what the fuck am I doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please just...get off of me. Please...”

He did so, but still looked just as shocked. “Did I do something wrong?”

He too started to tear up again. At last you could finally name what it was that tugged at his soft brown eyes. Fear.

“Can you please tell me what I did wrong? Y/n, I don’t understand, you’re confusing me so much--”

“--This isn’t right Jisung!” You nearly yelled with broken sobs. “We aren’t right.”

Jisung’s face fell, crestfallen. “N-no--”

“--We destroy each other!! Don’t you see?? Never have we ever been happy together, we’re just...coping! That isn’t love!!”

“Then why the hell am I in love with you??” Jisung spat out the words, and then it was immediately evident that he had regretted saying them.

A deadly silence fell over the room, and all that was left was the both of your weak sniffles.

“What did you just say?”

Jisung grabbed one the pillows then threw it down on the floor with a poof.

“Fuck!!!” He literally shouted. His face had turned red, and snot dripped down to his lip. “I have fucking feelings for you okay?? Is that enough for you?”

“Ji...yo-you can’t--”

“I can’t what?! Is it a fucking crime? Listen, I’m scared out of my fucking mind saying this to you, alright? I don’t know why the hell I am but--”

“--We-we can’t, Jisung..”

“Can’t what?!” He threw his hands up into he air in his exasperation. “Stop fucking confusing me!!”

“We destroy eachother.”

Jisung grabbed another pillow to pummel to the ground, but then stopped himself, digging his fingers into the fabric until his nailbeds turned white.

“We hurt eachother too much. An-and...I don’t think that it’s really our fault either. It’s just...who we are. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I want.”

Jisung sobbed out horribly, then buried his face in his hands.

“But I fell in love with you...?” His voice was terribly cracked.

You watched as tears dropped into your lap and made little wet dots on your jeans. “I fell in love with Changbin...”

His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, but still glistened, like the way that oil would slick in rainbows with the snow.

“Then what are you doing here?” He asked one more time, but now he had appeared to be utterly broken.

You rose from the bed, looking down at him and drying your face. “I...think I know why.”

“And?”

Outside of Jisung’s window, the view was similar to your own: city lights in an array of colors; each of them like stars on the ocean. On the wall adjacent from his bed, you noticed there was a crack. You had never realized that it was there before.

“I’m admitting something that I should’ve a long time ago.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

You had likely forgotten to close a window in your apartment somewhere because the winter cold had pervaded the whole space. It took you about ten minutes to realize that it was in your bathroom from when you had taken a shower earlier to air let out the steam.

The second thing that you noticed was the crumpled up blanket resting on the couch from before. For some odd reason, you felt the strong desire to wrap it all around yourself like you could capture some essence of him in it. Sure enough it did smell like that scent of his that you had grown so used to. You let the blanket trail behind you has you made your way to your room to pull on one of his shirts over your head.

“Who told you that you could look so cute in that?” He had said one time.

[23:16] Bin

me: can i call you?

[00:18] Bin

me: if you’re asleep, can I call you in the morning? if that’s okay? i said things that I didn’t mean...i just didn’t know it then.

i’m so sorry

how i treated you...you didn’t deserve that

i understand if you’re mad at me. you have every right.

i’m sorry that i couldn’t see that things that you were trying to show me.

i see them now.

You had thought that now the snow had finally faded into the edge of the winter that near it’s conclusion. Early March, and you wanting nothing more for spring buds to peep from the snow capped floral beds on street corners and for the white hugging the trees to dissapear forever. The winter had felt as if it had lasted for a year--even though this year you had seen less snow than other years.

There had been a time when you firmly believed that once the snow melted, it would get better. Snow was a bitter memory, and it was curse that had to happen each and every year.

The night that you had met Changbin, it had been cold. Cold like the winter that you had tried to hide from. You hadn’t thought of it until now, but he was much like the way that snowflakes melted on your skin. It reminded you of the icy coldness of the world for fleeting moments, then faded just as quickly as it arrived. The little wet mark of him warmed on your skin.

Outside of the miniscule window to your living room, snowflakes got caught up in the edges of the frame, and sprinkled the surface of the glass in their variety of gorgeous fractals and unique shapes. A full moon was painted into the sky with a brightness that could’ve paralleled the sun on this clear night swimming in deep azure.

You hugged the fabric of one of his shirts even closer to your frame, pretending for a moment that it was him that had been hugging you and not the cotton.

“I’m so sorry.” You cried out weakly to the empty room.

Your phone screen flashed with the time: [00:42]. You wondered, maybe he really had given up like he said that he would’ve. Maybe he walked home in the shivering cold, hands shoved into his pockets and decided that he was done waiting; that you weren’t worth his time and the effort. Maybe he walked in his front door, closed it behind himself, and said the words, This is it. No more. Maybe he walked into his room and cried. Maybe he didn’t. You couldn’t decide if you had wanted him to cry for you or not. Both hurt.

[01:13.]

Your eyes dragged with sleep, but your mind moved faster than the pace of your dry eyelids. Dust had settled on the white sheet that you had drawn over the painting in your room. On the underside of the sheet, globs of acrylic had dried and turned into multicolored flecks: a bit like the sheet was a piece of art and and of itself. It was nearly finished, and only had about one more quadrant left that was void of color.

Your wooden pallet had been resting by the window, so it was cold to the touch--as were the little aluminum bottles of paint resting beside it. You used your shirtsleeve to dry away one tear that had battled its way to your lid, then sat back on your desk chair, facing the easel head on.

Black first. Then deep blue, then bright yellow, burnt orange and gold.

Hairs brushed over the canvas, and swept in wide strokes back and forth. With an empty mind, you smeared over the dark colors that faded to the edge of the canvas into the glowing light of the edge of the alleyway painted here. His figure was prominent, even though you couldn’t see his face. He wore black clothes that were simple. Frankly, you didn’t really remember what he had worn that night, but it didn’t matter much. Neon blue and red restaurant signs met on as reflection on his dark black hair.

It was as if your chest and hand had been weighted down even further, but you fought through it to raise them. While you let the tears fall at first, they dried after long and made the skin of your cheeks tout. The room was silent, and so it was outside with the drifting snow. Soon, the painting would be finished, and you could sleep. You couldn’t sleep until then.

if your art didn’t mean anything, what even was it?

The pink lights lining your room provided the only light to the room, however not much else was needed than that.

You bit your lip, now mixing yellow with red.

If you couldn’t tell him. You hoped with every fiber that this would.

[04:51] Bin

me: if you’re up to it, can we talk? or, i can call you?

goodnight

wait its morning

good morning then.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Chan was good at keeping his promises. There was not one time in your whole time in knowing him that he hadn’t kept a promise, no matter how absurd it might’ve been. He had promised you to buy you ice cream on the first day of snow, and he had promised to share his lyrics with you, no matter how much they would make him cringe. He promised that if you ever needed someone to watch your guilty pleasure reality shows with, he would be over as soon as he could. Next to Felix, you had figured a long time ago that if there were ever people in your life that you were destined to meet, he was one of them. Admittedly, there had been a time when you had harbored a crush on him, but as usual, you had been best at getting in your own way before anything could’ve happened. This, and you loved him as a friend too much.

Too many jell-o shots were both of your enemies. Halfway into the driest seven minutes in heaven of your life, and halfway into your confession to him, he had passed out right in your arms. You were lucky that he had forgotten the event entirely. Or, he was keeping his promise that you had hurriedly made asking him to forget that it ever happened when you and Felix carted him out of there.

While he was good at keeping promises, you more so wished that he had forgotten that one.

Chan had promised that he would personally use his ID card to get into the soundproof booth in the music department to scream.

You hadn’t ever taken him up on the offer until today.

It was nearly midnight and unopened text messages still sat in in empty bubbles on your phone screen.

Even though you had consistently texted “good morning” and “goodnight” for three days straight, the action of sending them didn’t make you feel any better.

Chan didn’t ask any questions, but merely let you through the halls which echoed from your squeaking wet shoes. The green light of emergency signs appeared to be the only guiding lights, but Chan knew the way well.

“Careful. The floor is slippery. They mop after everyone leaves.” He hushed in the silent hallway.

Your fingers and lips cracked from the cold and felt tingly warming up in the dry heat of the building. The two of you turned two more corners, then Chan carefully wrapped his veiny and red hand over the handle to the door marked with “Studio Five.” He tapped his key to the reader, and it beeped with flashing green and orange lights.

“Here. This is the entrance to the booth. I’ll enter from that door to get to the other side of the glass. You don’t...want me to go in with you?”

“Want me to wreck your ears?” You have him a feeble smile.

He mustered his own kind of strength that he had been keeping up just for you. “Hm. You’re right.” Your friend clicked on the light, and it burned your eyes at first compared to the black hall. “Take...all the time that you need, I’ll just be over there. If you wanna...talk about things, I’m here for that too.”

The booth was an ugly shade of lime green, and you wondered how anyone could ever be creative in a place such as this. On the other side of the tinted glass, you watched as Chan flicked on the light, then made his way to push the button to the little intercom system. His voice buzzed with a tinny sound.

“No one can hear you, so....go nuts.”

The walls were too padded with black foam insulation, and for a moment you considered how strange it was, that you, had entered that place to scream--not make music like the room had been used to. Even though the walls were lime green. It still brought a sense of sadness to your chest.

The room spun lightly behind your eyes, and you panted out frantically.

What the hell am I doing in here?

[23:29] bin

me: I hope that you sleep well tonight. i’m thinking of you.

“Is everything okay in here?” Chan’s voice said over the speakers.

“W-what am I doing here?” You repeated the question, feeling panic rise up your throat.

“Getting your anger out?” He tiled his head. “I-I don’t know why else because you didn’t tell me. You angry at someone? Something?”

“N-no? --I mean, yes...I-I don’t know.” You said with uncertainty. Suddenly the foam walls of the room started to close in. “I need to get out of here.”

“Woah! Woah! Y/n! What’s--” Chan chased you out of the room, back into the empty hallway with the squeaky floors and the green light.

“Hey, let’s just...take a breather here for a sec.” Your friend reached out to smooth down your arms. “If you wanna talk about it, I can help maybe?”

You tore from his gasp, then slumped against the wall to slide all the way down and sit on the cold linoleum floors with the heaters pumping steadily above your head.

“He’s not...messaging me back, and I think that I royally fucked up this time. I think that I finally did it, I finally pushed him too far.”

“Who? Changbin?” Chan crouched down to sit next to you. “Is that what this is about?”

Shallow breaths filled up your lungs, “I think...I think I just lost everything that I could’ve had with him, and it’s all my fault...I’m fucking angry at myself, Chan.”

“A-are you sure?”

“I basically told him that I didn’t know if I wanted to be his girlfriend...after everything that’s happened, everything that he’s done and how patient he’s been...but...there was Jisung an-and...I realize that I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean any of it, I want to be with him so fucking badly and I was just too caught up to see it and--”

“--Stop!” Chan barked. “Stop and give yourself a second to breathe! Did you realize that you’re not doing that?

You hadn’t. Nor had your noticed your shaking hands. However, Chan had seen them, and held them with his.

“You said that you do want to be with him but you told him that you didn’t?”

Somewhere in the hallway, one of the emergency floodlights blinked with a harsh white light.

“Yes.”

“And did you tell him that you didn’t mean it?”

“I have but he hasn’t gotten back to me? He would always get back to me, no matter what it was--it makes me worry--”

Chan cupped your hands then brought them to his chest where he held them earnestly. “Some things are out of our control, Y/n. And, I hate to say it but, now, I think you need to come to accept the possibility that maybe...” His gaze softened. “I’m sorry. I wish I could say something more or better but I’m not him and I can’t know...”

You scoffed, “Is that supposed to be comforting?”

Chan tsked, as he often would do with a little sarcastic drag to his voice. “A long time ago I promised you that I would always be honest with you, and you know that I hold to my word.

He rubbed his thumb into your hands.

“Do you want me to say then to go running after him? Throw it all to the wind? Even if it doesn’t end up going your way?”

“...Maybe.” You swiped a tear from the corner of your right eye. “Would it be worth it?”

“Maybe.” He sighed.

A silence filled the hall and the space between you two, and Chan kept holding your hand. It was a simple touch, but you hadn’t realized that you had craved something as such.

“Y/n? Can I say something?”

“Yeah?”

“Even if it isn’t him that it ends up being, I think that you should know that you still deserve happiness in someone. Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do. It sounds like to me...you’re finally realizing it.” He smiled with a bit of a wrinkle to his lips. “I’m proud of you.”

You squeezed his hand. “Thank you. Its...been a long time coming.” Your head hit the wall behind you with a slight thud. “I’ve been painting recently. And...it means something to me. I feel like I found something, like I’m seeing something for the first time in a long time and it makes me really... full. Like he does.”

Your friend let go, then went to play with his shoe-laces.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the final straw?”

“He just...loved me different. Better than I ever could myself, and I think that it made me realize that in order for me to love him too, I had to make peace with myself, and just...” You breathed out a laugh, “...Chill the fuck out. But--I know that I can’t let go of it forever. What happened, made me. I can’t give that up, but that doesn’t mean that I should wallow in it forever. I don’t deserve that.”

Chan leaned to give you a light slap to the arm. “Look at you.”

“I...saw Jisung too.”

While anger laced his voice, Chan remained level headed. “...And?”

“Me and him just dug ourselves into a deeper hole. Even he...he could do better. He needs a “Changbin” too. You know? I can’t be that for him. I never was even close. I feel sorry. I should probably see him one last time...”

The image of Jisung’s disparaged face burned in your memory in the midst of it all. Somehow you had forgotten that he had gotten feelings tangled it up in it all, and you had just left. Through all that you had been through with him, you couldn’t let it just go so easily.

“There’s a lot of things that I need to make right.” You sighed out with finality. Next to you, your best friend did the same.

“Whatever happens, Felix and I will be here for you. Like always.”

“Mm. Thank you, Chan. Really. Thank you so much. The two of you are the best friends that I could ask for. I don’t know how you put up with me...”

“Ahhh, don’t mention it.” He shoved his shoulder into yours playfully. “Ya know, if this goes south, we could just date.”

“What?!” Your head whipped over to him so hard it hurt.

“As I recall, about a year ago all it took were some jell-o shots...”

You smacked him upside the head, causing him to burst out laughing in that empty hall.

“I told you to forget about that!!”

“I’m just joking!! Jeez! Can you take a joke!?”

You laughed with him, your goofy and kindhearted best friend. You realized it hadn’t happened in quite some time.

“Yeah Changbin is alright, but me and Felix are forever. Got it?” He teased, and you slumped your head on his shoulder.

“I know.”

In your pants pocket, your phone vibrated and flashed with a white light.

[01:36] L. Minho

minho: i fucking hate that i’m in this position

but

bin’s in a bad way and i’m fairly certain that he hasn’t told you about it all

idiot.

anyway, his parents are being shitty assholes and i think that he really needs you right now, even if he isn’t saying anything about it. actually i know that he does.

i also wanna ask you to kindly resolve whatever shit that you have going on before you walk in our door. out of kindness for both yourself and him.

sorry not sorry. i really do love the both of you and it hurts me to see it be like this.

i suggest that you come over as soon as you can.

Your heart beat its way into your throat with a million emotions, but out of them all, fear for Changbin ached the most.

“Chan, I have to go.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

It was likely Minho who had buzzed you in.

Luckily, the night had somehow gotten warmer--at least warm enough to where you couldn’t see your breath in front of your face any more. Unfortunately though, you had still worn the shoes that Changbin would scold you for wearing on snow-packed nights. Luckily, the snow had started melted too.

The door clicked when it unlocked, and you slid inside the glass entrance that was smudged with fingerprints and the wet from dog’s noses pressing on the surface.

For a reason unknown to you, you decided to take the stairs--even though he had lived on the seventh floor. Partially you had decided that you had done so because it meant that you had more time with your thoughts; more time to decide if you really had resolved all the shit that you needed to leave on the outside of his doorstop.

You thought back to the painting sitting finished in your room. It waited in all of it’s beauty for the sun to shine on it and the rest of the world to see it. For him to see it. It was for him that you had painted it in the first place. Every ounce of pain and confusion was lathered across the canvas, it was bare for anyone to see after you had kept it concealed for so long.

He would see it.

You took each step slow and carefully, and listened to the way that the sound bounced off of the walls and how the carpet matted on each stoop.

Chan had said, “Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do.”

Minho opened the door after three clicks wearing a bathrobe and slippers. For being so distressed like his message had said, he looked perfectly cozy. You remembered that Minho really was one to keep it all together when shit would get intense. Somehow he had the ability to write whole papers over the course of one day and had passed tests after studying for only four hours. You wished you could manage as well as he could.

“Fuck. It’s late.” He rubbed his eyes. “Come in. Take off your shoes please.”

You did so, and rubbed your toes into their carpet. It was almost as if you were waiting further instructions, but you knew full well what you had to do.

Minho glared at you expectantly. “Well? Shits left outside?”

“Shits left outside.” You repeated with a nod.

“l’ll let him explain. It isn’t really my place. Just--listen to him okay? I think that’s what he needs right now.”

The apartment itself was a bit barren, the only things that were placed in the small space were the things that the inhabitants needed: a dining table, a leather couch, a TV set, a few beanbags and a kitchen kept clean by Minho. It was strange seeing a place so organized and...neat. It was as if this apartment was from an other side of the world compared to what you had grown used to previously. Changbin’s thick and dark black coat hung on one of the dining chairs, the same that he had worn the night that he had last seen you. You wondered if it had been sitting there these past few days.

“Go on.” Minho flapped his hands to usher you down the hallway to Changbin’s room. At the end of the hallway was the bathroom, and seeing it flooded your skin with the feeling of warm water and defrosting skin, lips on lips with heated desire; tracing fingertips that got caught with the translucent stream of water as they brushed down spines and hips. If you could’ve gone back to then and done it all over...you wondered if you would’ve.

“Knock first.” Minho mouthed.

You did, breath hitching when it opened slightly, and you called out his name. “Bin? Its me. Can I...can I come in?”

His hesitant voice called back to you, “Yes.”

He was a crumble on his bed, black socks twisted up with his dark bedsheets and his hoodie riding up his back to expose a sliver of skin where he laid facing away from the door. His beautiful dark hair was knotted.

“B-Bin? A-are you okay?” You advanced forward carefully, reaching out to touch his arm. You had never seen this confident and headstrong man reduced to something so small, it broke your heart into shards to see him as such. You didn’t know what to do with yourself: sit with him? Stand? Crawl in to bed next to him? Unspoken words filled the air, and he sniffed out loudly into it.

“Thank you for messaging me still.” Was what he had said first. “I saw them a little bit ago. I was...too scared to open them at first...your messages. I was...ashamed to...”

“--Bin,” You took two steps closer. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

He sniffed in with a clogged nose once more. “I’m sorry.”

Two more steps. “No, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t listen to you, and took all of your patience with me for granted. I really don’t deserve it. I tore you up, and that was awful of me. You somehow ended up being collateral damage to me figuring my shit out and I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I understand if you don’t want to keep this going that we--”

“--Can you get into bed with me?” He suddenly interjected. Changbin twisted his hand back as if he knew that yours was there in some superhuman way, and grabbed at it. “It’s...cold.”

Your heart paused, uncertain if you had heard him correctly.

“Please?” Changbin muttered. “Two bodies is warmer than one.”

Silently, you crossed the room and shimmied off your coat so it fell to the floor. It had been partially absentminded, but you had pulled on one of his shirts that day. It was light grey, and had nearly lost all semblance of his scent on it. You pulled the covers over both of you, peering just enough to see his puffed and red eyes and red wet nose. Seeing him like this, you had to fight every instinct to pull him into your arms, but rather keep a respectful distance.

From seeing the way that he dominated the stage to how he looked under the soft glow of your pink lights, to how he had looked as thin and as fragile as glass now, it had all finally made sense to you. As brash and forthcoming as he was, it wasn’t all of who he was in the slightest. If anything, it was who he had pretended to be.

Tears fell over his pink lips. “I didn’t tell you because...I was embarrassed. Fuck,” He laughed a little, “It’s so fucking pathetic. I’m so pathetic for getting so messed up over this all. I-I shouldn’t. That and...it’s not something that you should--”

“--Don’t you dare say that I shouldn’t worry about this Bin. How many times do you need me to say it?” You traced his dark hair over his ear. “What happened to being each other’s problems?”

He smiled with a weak grin, then wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Minho didn’t tell you?”

You shook your head. “He said that you should be the one to.”

Changbin sighed out, then pulled the comforter up to his nose, adjusting himself to meet your eyes with his that were strained with pink.

“They’re disowning me. For real this time. They asked me to do a legal name change and everything...as if...they’re cutting me out of the family line. Fuck, I mean, they basically are.”

His chest shook with an inhale, and a thick and burning mucus felt as if it had clung to your throat. It was anger and rage, the kind that was so foreign to you, it even started you to feel such a thing.

“Bin, I’m so sorry. They’re...they’re fucking less than human is what they are. Treating you their own son like this...like they think that they can reverse time so that you were never even born of them...” Under the sheets your knuckles clenched so hard it bit the skin of your palms. “I-I’m sorry too...that you were going through this by yourself--”

In one single motion he had spread out his arms to circle them around your upper body and pull it into hm.

There he was again. Rosemary and cedarwood.

You were in shock, but feeling the warmth from his body on yours made you shiver--it was the contact that you had craved so intensely now that you had it, it was so all encompassing that your brain scrambled feeling it.

“Thank you for coming.” He whispered to the top of your head.

Your hands snaked around his body, and you held him back.

In that very moment, you had decided that you would spend the rest of your life holding him back if he would let you. If there was someone out there listening to your thoughts, you prayed that they would let you hold him.

Changbin patted to top of your head with a trembling hand.

“What the fuck do I do?”

Your fingers tugged at the thick cotton of his hoodie.

“They said that either I meet with them to sign away my name, or I pack up, and go back with them as if nothing happened. They said that they were willing to “forgive” everything that I had “done” if I chose to come back home with them, so to school, and forget everything that I’ve ever written, performed...”

“They said that??”

The young man remained silent, but instead nuzzled further into you.

“They said that they could arrange for a meeting with their legal team to finalize it in as little as two days if I decide to do it. Those assholes expedited the whole process and called up their lawyers to make it happen as quick as possible...”

“Bin...” You cooed, and smoothed up and down his back. Being close to him like this you could nearly feel his own heart breaking in his chest against yours.

“Do I forget everything that I was to chase this...dream? Or do I go back, get their support, live a normal life...”

“--Stop.” You gently pushed his hand away to look up at him. “This, all of this is your life Changbin. It’s what you’ve worked hard for relentlessly and it’s what makes you happy, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s harder to do, but you’ve gotten so far, people love you! You’ve made a name for yourself, people want to hear your music--”

“--Yeah, my names gotten itself out there a little too well for my parent’s opinions.”

You wiped a tear cascading from one of his exhausted eyes. “They should be proud of you, not trying to suppress you.”

“They...don’t want me to be Changbin any more. Do you know how that feels? I’ve lived my whole life being me and now they just want to take away the very last thing that I have that they didn’t touch?” He stifled a sob.

“Hey! Just because you change it on paper, doesn’t mean we have to call you that!” You laughed out gently, “If you want to get a driver’s license or something it might be important...but, you’re always going to be Changbin to me, and Minho and everyone else who knows you. A name is just a word. You make up who you really are.”

Changbin laughed out, then returned his hand to pat at your head.

“Who told you to say that?”

You chuckled back at the way that he had turned your words back on you. “No one.”

“I’m just me, but...” Under the covers, your legs intertwined. “I think that if we compare a life of missed oppurtunties to a life where you leave a couple things behind, its worth leaving.”

Body heat swirled between the two of you, and it was as calming as a song. Changbin brought his hand down to caress the side of your cheek with as much gentleness one would with those fragile snowflakes.

Past his shoulder, your eye caught a small piece of paper that had been pasted to the wall above his desk: right in a space where he could see it if he had sat at his desktop. It was crinkled and held several creases and the lead that had been used to draw on it had smudged as if it had rubbed up against itself.

It was a picture of a bench, some Christmas lights, and the city skyline behind it.

Tears flooded your eyes, and then fell freely onto his his fingers where he held your face. They caught in the corners of your mouth, and heated up your eyes.

“Woah, hey, what is it?” Changbin rubbed away the wet and pulled you even closer to him.

“Y-you kept it?” Your voice wavered.

“Kept what?”

You pointed a shaking finger to your drawing posted on the wall, and his eyes widened at first like he was embarrassed, then he slowly faded into something much softer.

He nearly whispered the words, “Of course.”

“W-why?”

“It reminded me of you and that night. I think that I realized something then.”

“What’s that?” He wiped your tears once more, stretching the skin of your face as he did so.

“I realized that, well...I’m in over my head here.” He laughed out lightly. “Do you need me to say it again? I love you a fuck ton, alright? Getting over things, and healing from things...it’s not easy. You...don’t have to apologize for the mess of things and what it did to you. It’s not your fault.”

You threw your head into the crook of his neck to sob openly. But I hurt you. I made you wait...I-I don’t wait you to wait any longer.”

“And I made you wait too. My stupid...my parents fucked me up too, and I couldn’t get over the fact that this fucking mess that they made of me put a wedge between me and you. I didn’t feel like you deserved...I’m a mess too. A fucking nervous, cocky bastard at times and I don’t know how to talk about it. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“What?? No--”

“You wanna call it even then?” He grinned out, and it was his sly little smile that you had found yourself thinking of after you had seen it for the first time those months ago.

“I--”

“Damn. It does feel kinda good to talk about things.” He joked.

You cried out his name even harsher, then melted into his whole body. He was boundless in the way that he had understood you, and how he had looked you without condition or pause.

You don’t have to be scared any more.

With your face muffled in the fabric of his shirt, you let the words fly of your tongue with reckless abandon, and it felt as if you had finally been rid of the crushing shroud fogging your mind, and chaining your heart.

“I-I want you to be...my Changbin. An-and I want to be--”

“--Wait!” Changbin pulled you back by the shoulders with a new and wild smile on his face that only grew wider by the second. A type of excited panic flamed in his chocolate brown eyes. “Willyoubemygirlfriend???” He said at light speed.

You were confused as to why he had said it as such, but you nodded, finally feeling the sense of respite that you had searched so hard for. “Y-yes?”

Changbin startled you with his sudden crack of laughter, then squeezed you so tight that it became hard to breathe. Once he let go looser, he bowed in deep to press dozens of kisses on your mouth and around it. Most of them missed the mark, but that didn’t matter to him. He only stopped for a couple moments to mutter the words, “I wanted to say it first.” You would’ve laughed had he not been attacking you incessantly with more and more pecks that you struggled to keep up with.

“I-I’m sorry again that I made you wait--”

Changbin rolled his weight over to lean carefully over your body tangled up in the sheets, then kissed away at your lips with “don’t say that’s “ quietly. “Thank you for trusting me.” He said quickly, then returned, pouring out oceans of admiration onto your lips until they felt a little raw. You kissed him back too, and you kissed him like you wanted to spend your whole life holding him back. His blissful little “oh’s” tickled at your lips, and you giggled at the way that they vibrated.

Once you had properly kissed nearly all of the air out of each other’s lungs, you laid back, gasping, and each still a bit bewildered.

“Thank you for trusting me too.” You turned your head to look at him where he lay with quickened breaths quaking his chest.

“When I go through with this name thing, can you...be there?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” He said, barely loud enough for you to hear. His strong hands fell down his shirt which you wore; down to the small of your back where he snuck up the fabric. His fingers tickled at your tiny hairs there.

“I have one more loose end to tie myself. One more place that I need to make peace.”

Changbin nodded. “Mm. We’ll get through it together.”

To your surprise, Changbin then took to pulling his sweater over his head, revealing his bare chest, then pulled off his pants from his legs a bit awkwardly under the covers.

“W-what are you doing?”

He giggled, then pulled at the hem of your shirt for you to do the same.

“Trust me.” He whispered.

You held his eyes as you did, and your bare skin too met the crinkling edges of the sheets which were a bit colder than you had expected. Changbin watched as you did so with a prideful little grin.

“I-I’m confused.” You hugged your arms over your cold torso.

“You’re so gorgeous.” He merely muttered, uncrossing your arms for him to look at you fully, then pulled you by the under sides of your chin back to his lips. He pulled gently at your bottom lip with his teeth. “Clothes were getting in the way.” He hushed, then set to unhooking your bra behind your back.

“Getting in the way of what?”

“Me being as close to you as I possibly can.”

While he had said the phrase calmly, it still sent heat rising straight to your cheeks.

“I want to hold my love like this for as long as she’ll let me. Can I?”

Your two bodies met in the middle, flush, buzzing with a kind of giddy energy that only heightened the more curious that your hands got eating up each other’s presence.

“As long as you’ll let me do the same.”

You couldn’t quite tell, but it had almost felt as if Changbin had scribbled little invisible messages into the skin of your back.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He answered.

You took his wrist to kiss at the line of a scar that lived there. Naturally, Changbin blushed rosy from the action--then promptly pretended that he just hadn’t.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

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kae-karo · 2 years

Note

mdzs asks: 6, 21, 28 💕

ahhhh hello kai !!!!! for context (x)

6. unpopular opinions?

okay so i just answered this one (x) but honestly not really lmaoooo

21. what do you think lan wangji named his bunnies?

he absolutely self insert named his bunnies wei wuxian and lan wangji whichever two got along best or became mates those are the ones he named wwx and lwj. mans named his guqin 'wangji' he doesn't have a single creative bone in his body there's probably an entire bunny-au version of every person lwj has met - his brother is the calm bunny, his uncle the grumpy one, etc etc

28. make some mdzs memes, go!

sdlkfjjklsdf i've already done this at least a little so here:

(the do it for him meme is legit rose's background on her work computer lmao)

i'm truly so awful at coming up with stuff on the spot so this will have to do i hope!!

send me mdzs asks from this list!

#mdzs #ask #ask game #snack-thief-keith

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bepoprotectionsquad · 2 years

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EOIN HELLO. do you want to share som hcs you have about your OCs? i would love hearing some but only if you’re comfortable with it of course 💕

LALE!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

We got:

Eden: a short king!

—look im not like a hundred percent *how*

—but he’s whitebeards son biologically

—he’s my main self insert and im gonna be like blindingly honest cause you’re one of my besties: he’s a vent character!

—without getting into things too deeply that are sad: I don’t know my bio dad and I never will and he was probably shit, wouldn’t it be nice if my fictional characters bio dad was the BEST DAD EVER

—just like whitebeard *cough cough me cough cough* Eden doesn’t really give a flying flambé about treasure or fame. He wants a family and a home and a place to share his overflowing font of love and compassion

—went to whatever equates to bad ass bitch culinary school with thatch at some point

—comfortable in a lil poly triad with Thatch and Izou

—I honestly haven’t developed him as much as I want because I’m really really self conscious but like, I’m always open to more questions or whatever.

—he’s besties and penpals with Renge, obviously, but you already know that

—OH RIGHT YEAH

Green Thumb: a she/they!

I found out recently you can have more than one s/i self ship or whichever it’s called

I thought vaguely: ahhhh cool someday I’ll make someone that dates vista

Then I started doodling in procreate

Now we have tall stronk Gardner person

Not sure what their name is yet but it’s gonna be a plant pun for sure

Their epithet is green thumb tho and I’m pretty sure it’s literal and about a df power they possess

Who knows not me

Blends their own tea

If the moby dick didn’t already have some sort of green house set up when Green got there, we’ll, they do now

Best buds with thatch cause they make sure he’s got decent fresh produce when possible. Even takes special requests for birthdays n stuff

Oh no I hope Eden doesn’t try to get into the carrots!! Lmao

Will braid flowers right into peoples hair

They get Pops with this one a lot

AT WINTER HOLIDAY TIME WATCH OUT THEY HAVE THE MISTLETOE

Won’t give mistletoe to Thatch or Eden because they inevitably try to use it on Izou and everyone suffers for it

#just threw what popped into my head on the page #I haven’t slept yet #this was relaxing #I think I’ll pass out now #gonna try yo continue going through the inbox when I wake up tonight #@babe can you please remind me repeatedly to work on one of my wips tonight when we hang out #<3 #gently glancing occasionally at my follower count after admitting my si is a huge fuckin Mary Sue #he’s actually not I just don’t feel like explaining all the depth I’m tired

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hajimine · 3 years

Text

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

#💬#bye this took me so long #the biggest kithes for u all mwa

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roseprincesskristina · 3 years

Text

My Crimson Valentine ((POV))

((Hey people. 😊 Today, since Valentine's Day is just around the corner a little later, I had to write a special fanfic about everyone's favorite crimson hunter getting busy with a certain girl who is new in Abel City to visit him. Plus, it's a POV version for the ladies out there. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this story and Happy Early Valentine's Day 💘💘💘💝💝💝 😊✌))

The crimson hunter, lastly created by the late Dr. Albert Wily, previously known of the uncontrollable maverick who lusts for blood, carnage, even destruction increases his strength along with everything he possesses. Founded by the former leader of Hunter HQ before being escorted to be tested after the ferocious duel against him, until later on when the impossible virus had traveled it way within the strong balded crusader's armored anatomy away from the blonde irregular's helmet to successfully control the new host. Forming from evil to good has allowed him to join the organization which meaning by hunting down crazed evildoers that caused havoc upon peace. Hardly addresses himself as the hero, however to battle against difficult odds such as maverick while for those around that he believes in at heart, for his own will also. Throwing away the corrupted memories of his past which blinded his focus of a better future awaiting ahead as well as to embrace off multiple sadness from his body.

Now, as the irregular destroying commander of the 0th unit, lacking any clemency towards opponents and acts with a "too cool for school" attitude to lower his emotions instead of showing them to anyone expect his indigo comrade in arms. Ranked into an upperclass position, bearing with the energy beam sword for slashing down anything blocking his path. Aiding with his colleagues, brawling baddies, passed onto with additional power ups, the rest during numerous journeys. He is ultimately quite difficult to become defeated when it comes to danger calling him out, but not with assistance to accomplish any tasks at hand. This fearless swordsman in red is named Zero.

At last, slightly exhausted of every beatings along with rescuing the innocent like any super hero would always do, fully relaxed while the daylight is young, the golden locked hunter had peered his eyes towards you into a seductive persona. Lying onto his bed sideways with his hand planted on the manly thigh to await your appearance inside his dorm. Smirking with a satisfying preparation in mind for a guest of honor such as yourself.

"Mmmmm he he he he~... Well well~... Hello to you, my sweet young treat~ What brings you here to MY lair of awesomeness~? Just by looking at your expression, I suppose you're here to visit me or to earn my autograph, right~? Either way, it wouldn't even matter much anyway since I'm bored with nothing to do~ But what really does now is to amuse a cute little lady like you with my irresistible charms to hypnotize my fans~" The upperclassmen spoke deeply with a sexual tone, walking over and takes you by your hand into his room as a welcoming manner by stroking his hand under your chin. Placing you upon his bed. "So, why don't ya come inside and make yourself comfortable until I freshen up for a special surprise in store just for you~ BRB~" He winked at you, rising right out of his bed capsule to change into a different armor.

While waiting for the blush colored host, you would began to take out something from your backpack like a notebook to draw characters, anime or shapes in order to keep yourself occupied. Even to write a journal about your life. It was your time here in Abel City, never have seen or been here before to meet the legendary Maverick Hunter in the flesh. Or perhaps reploid, of course. You hummed while enjoying usual hobbies like in your house, loving nature even to make friends, pondering about such wonderful memories within your thoughts just to keep you happy and lively for the rest of your life through tough times. It truly warms your innocent heart all the way along with emotions, until a surprise sudden has called your attention....

"Hey there, gorgeous~ Thanks for the long wait for me to straighten myself up, didn't wanna get too.... messy around ya~.... " Outside the bathroom despite of his "freshening up" methods, hearing his voice aiming across the roam has made you look away from the notebook that you're drawing and directly at him, who is wearing nothing underneath his armor like the inner black suit, but into a sexy belly dancing attire to suit him quite better out of his under clothing. Revealing not only the body, yet secondly his most flawless treasure known to man: his diamond shaped navel of his abs, placed with an initialed Z shaped jewel inside, similar on his left shoulder. The appearing shade of redness shown itself in your cheeks during your first witness of your host's harden bods of steel completely in front of you.

"Awww~ Did I made ya blush, little girl~? I kinda love it when you look real nervous when you're around me~ Cause it really, REALLY turns me on~" Slurped the bright red sword wielder, approaching his irresistible self towards you, folding his arms behind the brighten locks of his tied up hair. Blinking his sparkling sapphire pupils slowly to create something even more consensual than before or after your arrival to surround you along with everything in his dorm. You began to feel speechless for a fast second, beholding his fairly gifted body before you now when he chuckled.

"Mmmm~ Giving the silent treatment, too, aren't we~? I like that in a human woman~" Anything about you has impressed the saber enhanced mentor even more than busting against his enemies in the hunting days when duty calls. Could be a waste of time, but not as long as you're here to make his life interesting. "So, beautiful~ Whaddya think~? Like what ya see~? Did my abs impress you~? No need to answer cause I'm already aware of that~ Let's put away the notebook and enjoy ourselves, shall we~" He said again, helping to throw away the book off your hands. Snapping his fingers automatically to initiate the sensual music before the beginning of his dance. Once again, you blinked while watching him jiggle his hips to the rhythm, back and forwards non stop. Several visions of him showering the pleasurable has blinded you away from the focuses about your life, being slowly imprisoned filled of little resistance left in your body to fight it off.

"Mmmm~ Damn, you look so delicious when I take a closer look at you~" Licked his clean filled of the starving metaphorical act, circling around you while slowly drawing his finger on your shoulder. "Even though you're a human, but it ain't gonna change the fact or my mind since you're here~ Lemme taste you for a bit to see if you're good enough to eat~ Meow~" He does that right away by licking your cheek, making you fluster into a shade of pink appearing in your face. "Hot damn~ Did my tastes buds lie~? Or is it telling the truth~? You truly ARE my sweetest dessert, babycakes~ Meaning that I'm gonna save YOU for later after my overwhelming performance~"

Dancing very closer to you, caressing all over his glistening armor as well as his body to approach once more. Seducing you by shaking more of his delectable manly hips with his might, polishing the crotch if necessary. Commencing to arouse your being becoming trapped in his grasps to never release or allow you to flee from his inescapable sights, pinning down your body of his hypnotic dance. Then, feeding on your thoughts with his sultry speech.

"It's no use trying to resist my urges, baby~ My body will consume you whole whether you admire it or not so try not to fight against it~" He compelled, positioning his finger into a "come over here" action to brainwash you. "Come on~ Let my poisonous effects absorb you~ Look into my eyes and rid yourself of those tragedies holding you down from your senses~ Submit to me, my innocent slave~ Obey my body forever~ Smoothingly erasing your worries from your mind and replacing them with images of the sunshine haired expert's erotic movements clearing off those irritating dirt of lies entirely out of your peeps, helping you to see perfectly even by looking at your maverick hunting host shaking his money maker for you. Complying his demands with the lack of free will to shield yourself away of something elegant, you had no other option but to surrender by gazing straightly at him into the middle of his dance.

"So~ What do you think of my stunning bods, little lady~? You like it, even when I punish myself for being a bad boy~? Hmm~? He he he he~ Then I'll take that as a yes~" He moaned while speaking to you sexually. "Well, how about I give you.....this to change your pretty little thinking~? Continually to please you the hardest, he would slowly remove the pierced jewel from his stomach. Placing it on the desk table. You would be able to watch carefully of his special present only for you to see instead of others, but your mind says to resist it for this "nightmare" will haunt you in your sleep forever. Once the gem has been confiscated out of the body, he "accidentally" insert one of fingers deeply inside his ravishing navel.

"Whoops~ He he he he~ My bad, darling~ Didn't mean to cause an accident to you like that~ Or did I~?" Grinned the A Class sword fighter, planning his act on you in the first place by circling deeper into his belly button. Extending out his tongue to rock it like in the concert to party all night, siding with shaking his thighs of continuation towards the dance.

"Unh~ Unh~ M...Mmm god, it feels so nice~" He spits out his longing yet magnificent moan all the way from his mouth trying to dash for freedom, drilling his finger into the dark cavern of the stomach more further. Pleasing you to death with every inch of his power but quietly. Over and over he punishes his stomach hole without trying to stop himself. "Ahhhh~ I love massaging my navel during off duties at peace~ It really takes my mind off of killing enemies~ But, I couldn't hide it from somebody so tranquil and quiet like you~" He refers to you, winking to arouse his guest by "cleaning" his deepen abyss of a stomach hole further. You slightly blushed from his unseen hobby, attempting to look for an escapable exit. However, nothing could ever work because of the frozen spell of his seduction pinned you down on the seat.

"Oh yeah~ Yeah~ Mmmmm, face it, pumpkin~ I know you wanna see me ground my deep, luscious, tasty, warm navel of mine for being very naughty~ Don't try to deny it~ You CAN and WILL love it when I play with it~ Or better yet, to let you taste it~" He spoke toward at you, placing a torturing spell which is impossible to break. More shades of red pinkish flustering substance had yet again made its appearance in your face, eyes stretched of shocking discovery, heart pumping in a repetitive beat. It's as if you have seen a boy band member saying your name to climb up onstage or earning a first gift. But this, right up front, is even more breathtaking than both all combined at once.

Forwardly into your ear, his calm voice enters within your mind. Purring seductively due to his obsession with his new plaything like you to have fun with.

"Purrrrrrr~" No matter how much you try or do that could drive the spell from your consciousness, that too, is unstoppable to leap out of. "It's already too late to back out from me, doll~ Cause there ain't gonna be an exit to save you now that you're all mine~" He said, tilting your head directly to him by his hand grappling your cheeks. "You know, before I met an adorable birdie like you, all I ever do was fight off maverick trash all freaking day without getting a single break, which is completely boring for my taste~ But now here you are, making my life a living heaven than hell like in my usual days as a hunter~" You nodded while listening. "I really like you that much, despite of being a human, but still~ " He comes at you, proceeding towards your face. "As a matter of fact, you mean the world to me, Valentine, and that's why.... I wanna taste and suck your irresistible at the same cause I'm so famished~ So, let's kill off the idle chat, shall we~? And lemme give you something to make you.... remember me in your dreams~ Let me kiss you~ So~ Badly~....." With everything pushed out of the way, the stern yet handsome reploid in red inserted his lips into yours deeply. Drinking the life out of you with a craved thirst before resuming his belly dancing routine. His perfect smooch has gave you a further blush.

"Mmmmmmmm~" So forever long, he softly yoinked himself from the perfect smooch given to you and licked. "God, you taste even better than the rest~ So delicious~" Swallowed the smirked hunter, enjoying your clear lips until he continue his undodgable dance of lust to please you rapidly. Secondly, the glorious cave of a navel to pleasure or play with as well.

That trick, especially the breath stealing kiss, had forced you to have a nosebleed right away from his unavoidable surprise than earlier before. Without holding any grudge against the blonde host's perfect symbol of desires that shuts down all worries from their minds, the only chance you have is to submit towards his beauty and enjoy it, refusing to turn back. Zero smiled gladly at you, wanting more of his fascinating dances to ease your boredom aside in the garbage where it belongs.

"So~ Finally enjoying my gift, huh~? Good girl~" He smiled rapidly, resuming his lustful dance for your enjoyment. "I'm so proud of you for cherishing a pleasant gift I rained on you, sweet treat~ For that, here's another one from me~...." For following his directions of the pleasurable belly dance, the handsome rose themed ex maverick lays his hands onto your soft cheeks while you are a little prepared for something much more....appealing? However, you have to allow him by accepting the second present until finally, he mashed his lips gently into yours. Tongue and teeth.

"Mmmmmm~....."

Your eyes started to open widely because of the seeping smooch warming up your whole heart upwards to 100%, blushing darker than earlier. While you slowly responded back, he continues to sink his kiss into your lips all day long, never to get enough of your existence for one minute just to stomp on his doomed past like an insect. Non stop after separating himself from lip locking with you, he continues his beautiful entertainment by dancing, especially navel pleasuring, to please you more than the first act while you're gazing towards him with both hands placed under your chin. Directly in front of you, he blow a kiss at you for further mood at peace.

"Mmmmmwah~..... Mmmm, thanks again for keeping company to shut up my boredom today, cutie~ You're just the one who never gets tired of my unbeatable charms~" Winked the high ranked blade user, impressed by your company to sleep away his exhaustion from dealing with endless hordes of irregular rabble rousers all the time. You replied with a nod, watching permanently of your die hard android in light burgundy with all your heart no matter what. Enjoying both his company, even the erotic dance as well.

He may become of the lone wolf type reploid who refuses to gain anyone's assistance during heart throbbing missions, roughing up tough mavericks without problems whatsoever. However, fighting alongside friends to be stronger foes than him or enemies combined has made the yellow headed mentor even too powerful other than his base state. Because companionship can make any dream succeed so long as everyone remains by his side always, even the true Maverick Hunter should realize this. Furthermore, no crime lovers including the inhumaniods baddies could ever escape from the beam sword bearer of Abel City when it comes to disasters knocking on the town's door without regret. But for now, he is finally relaxing during his off duty with the only person in store to interest his company instead of all else: You.

"Happy Valentine's Day, ladies~ Feel free to visit yours truly anytime~ Mmmwah~💖"

#megaman #mmx #zero #pov #valentine's day #fanfic #earlyvalentinesday2021

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juminsmysticmc · 5 years

Note

Rfa + Saeran + V with MC who wants to try anal sex

RFA + Minor Duo with a MC who wants to try anal sex

Hello and thank you very much for this request, haha! I hope you enjoy it….hehehe…well, please everyone, feel free to give me feedback on my smut, okay?

ATTENTION! HC CONTAINS SMUT, NSFW

Jumin

Jumin Han was a lovely husband who’s only wish was to make his lovely wife happy.

Your happiness was everything which mattered to him.

And so, when you one day told him that you would like to try out a different posture, he was disappointed in himself.

He felt as if he was unable to see that you had other wishes.

Fears like you being unhappy, not satisfied or pleasured enough haunted him.

But you also weren’t dumb and felt that he was agitated.

,,Don’t worry, Jumin. I just said that out of curiosity. I don’t feel bad or so, please don’t worry, okay?’’ you begged him.

A day later he parted to go on his business trip and while going there he had enough time to think over it.

Your sex was mostly soft and romantic but of course after being apart for long both of you felt the urge to touch the other person’s skin.

He could understand that perhaps you enjoyed sex like that more…..

And so, after a long research he overcame himself, he decided to fulfill also this wish of you and try anal sex.

,,Daddy is coming home soon, huh? Let’s get ready, Elizabeth!’’ you happily smiled knowing what Jumin had in mind.

Well, you only knew the half…..

You didn’t even have the time to say welcome when your husband’s lips were already on yours, tasting them with his whole desire. You felt how slowly Jumin stripped your bathrobe and touched your warm skin. His slender fingers rubbing your nipples, his fiery tongue dancing with yours and his left hand massaging your soft ass, something he didn’t do for the first time.

,,Ahhhh….’’ you moaned when he finally let you breath, putting his three fingers into your mouth afterwards and then pushing one after the other slowly in your ass. You yelled at the sudden touch but he quickly muffled your screams with a kiss.

,,Tell me if it’s too much…’’ he begged when he entered your anus with his second finger, massaging your thighs with the other hand.

,,It’s….okay but….mghh….co-could you also l-lick me….my pussy, I mean….?’’ you asked him and blushed.

Jumin smirked, he didn’t know that you were so kinky.

And so he kneed in front of you, still dressed after a flight of six hours.

The black haired man began to kiss your pale skin while he finger fucked your wet ass with his index and middle finger.

He kissed you until he arrived at your pink count and then he began to nipple at your pearl of lust, making you scream even louder.

Luckily his right hand was free, he quickly helped you to lean on the wall and went on with his service.

Jumin put your right leg on his shoulder and went on finger fucking you while his tongue was now in your wet hole.

,,No more, Ju-jumin p-please……!’’ you whined.

,,J-Just insert it…don’t make me-ahhhhh’’ you tried to beg him.

He smirked once again before he stopped everything he was doing.

Your body slowly slipped down the wall, giving you a chance to breath and rest for a few seconds before Jumin didn’t wear his clothes anymore.

He quickly took you on his arms and carried you to the couch where you put your head on.

He knew that you probably would lose strength to hold your body with your arms.

And so, after a few strokes to his hard member he inserted his whole length into you, fulfilling your wish.

,,AHHHHH! JUMIN!’’ you yelled when you finally came with him.

,,I came to like it to…’’ he groaned when he helped to turn you around.

His dick was hard once again when he trusted his member into you again, riding you.

,,Tell me, my love….which posture is better….?’’

Zen

,,I’m so excited…’’ you groaned when your boyfriend took your laptop. Both of you agreed on watching a porn together for the very first time. You couldn’t await it.

,,Oh my god…’’ you moaned as the woman’s scream echoed through your room.

,,Zenny…..’’ you moaned and noticed that you were dripping wet.

,,I want to do this too…’’ you said, waiting for his answer.

But of course you already unleashed his beast.

Zen didn’t wait a minute for the foreplay. While video was still going he stripped you.

Your pink nipple were between his lips and your count between his slender fingers.

Your hips moved in rhythm to his fingers while your hand searched his bulge.

,,Ohhhh……’’ you groaned and smirked.

The both of you first changed position.

You quickly unzipped his pants and began to lick his tip while your hand stroked his long pink dick.

,,Mhhhh…’’ Zen moaned and pressed your head against his dick, feeling the resistance of your throat.

,,Cumming….’’ he almost yelled but you still didn’t stop.

Instead you took his white juice and spitted it on his still aroused dick.

,,Okay…’’ he groaned.

,,Now, turn around, pretty lady…’’ he commanded and rubbed his sperm on his dick, making it slippery With a thrust he inserted himself into you and moved his hips.

Your moans of praise made him feel hotter and hornier.

He began to kiss your back and went up till he arrived at your neck.

Zen’s fingers explored your curves and massaged every part of your body…Your tits, the nipples and your sensitive walls.

,,Ughn…..ahhhh….yeah, ugh…’’ you moaned.

,,You’re pulling me in, princess, these walls feel good too…so tight…’’ Zen moaned his dirty talk.

But at some point you were at your limits and came together with your white haired prince.

Yoousung

Your husband was a lovely and sweet one.

Yoosung just wanted to make everything possible for you.

So, when he actually caught you pleasuring yourself, he wanted to help you right away, to satisfy your needs.

,,Yoosung….ugh….please take the lube and fuck me from behind….please….’’ you begged.

Your heart was racing, you could feel an orgasm coming up.

That was what you wanted, getting fucked from behind.

Your husband didn’t understand you but he knew something: his dick was as hard as a rock.

Instead of doing what you told him Yoosung placed himself in front of your pussy and began to lick you.

,,AHHHHH!’’ you moaned and moved your hips.

One of his fingers landed into your mouth while the other one tested the wetness of your pussy.

,,Yoosung….from behind….’’ you begged louder this time.

And he did what you said - almost.

The fingers which were in your mouth before landed in your ass and explored you from a whole different hole.

Your Husband stopped finger fucking but instead used his hand to take off his cloths and search for the lube you talked about.

Of course he kept finger fucking your ass.

,,A-Are you really sure…?’’ he mumbled and showed his true self even through he was doing it good for now.

With a nod you assured him that it was alright and after a last kiss, to let you taste your own juice through his sticky lips, he inserted himself into you.

It was painful at first and getting used to it wasn’t as easy as you thought but the pleasure quickly replaced the pain and only ecstasy was left.

,,Yoosung….let’s cum together…’’ you moaned between groans and a few seconds later his cum filled you.

You laid on your back and tried to catch your breath, your body felt so sensitive that you automatically began to touch your pussy.

,,R-Round two…?’’ he asked betwen gasps and put your leg on his shoulder, sitting on your right leg.

And so, even through you just experienced your first orgasm for today Yoosung went on, pleasuring you again.

Jaehee

You and your girlfriend had a beautiful sex life.

You loved her soft fingers surrounding your skin, nipping at your hard nipples and massaging your inner flesh, her lips kissing yours and your count, her tongue flicking your clitoris….

Whatever Jaehee did, she always managed to make you wet, dripping wet.

One day you overheard your customer talking about something you never dreamed about, anal Sex.

Well, you knew that it was really rude but their talk made you feel hot.

The way they described the feeling made you tremble.

And so you decided to tidy up the table next to them for about ten minutes, just to listen to their description.

You knew that the sex was different.

The imagination to lick each other’s ass hole and finger fuck the same hole made you horny.

,,So, what do you think, Miss?’’ the customer chuckled.

,,I’m sorry! I didn’t intend to!’’ you mumbled and bowed.

,,No worries, dear…’’ the friend chuckled.

,,We kept talking about it because we knew that you were listening to it. You’re together with the brown haired miss over there, right?’’ they asked you, making you nod.

You still felt uncomfortable. ,,Try to use a sex toy too!’’ they whispered and disappeared, leaving a bright red you behind.

The day went over quickly and you just couldn’t forget about the girl’s talk.

And so you decided to ask your girlfriend about her opinion and you were so surprised when she agreed.

As always both of you first took a shower and then you began.

She slowly kissed your naked skin, and slowly wandered down.

Your breath began to become heavier when her tongue touched your count.

,,Mhhh…’’ she moaned when she tasted you.

She didn’t stop there but went on until her tongue arrived at your little ass hole.

She first inserted her tongue then her fingers.

Your moans of pleasure made her so hot.

,,Let’s take our favorite toy…’’ she giggled when she took her vibrator, putting it between her legs and lubing the other side.

,,I’m going in, okay?’’ she asked you and inserted the toy.

,,Uhh….ahhhh, yeah, there…’’ you moaned.

But still it wasn’t enough.

Both of you agreed on your favorite position, 69.

While doing so each of you got the posibility to lick at the other’s wet pussy and also put the vibrator into each ass, screaming loudly each other’s name.

Saeyoung

,,We tried everything by now, right?’’ you asked him suddenly.

,,Huh?’’ your fiancé asked you back, not understanding your words.

,,Well, I mean all sex positions.’’ you answered with a blushed face.

You were really lucky that in this relationship both of you were pretty horny.

But with a smirk your soon to be husband shook his head.

In the next moment you were pressed against your kitchen, getting kissed crazily by Saeyoung.

His hands wandered down and stroked you over the dress you were currently wearing.

But then he went further and went below your dress.

,,MHHHH’’ you groaned when his fingers touched your bare skin below your black panties.

In circles he began to massage the boundle of nerves which were hidden by your two labia.

His kiss were still fiery, the two tongues of you danced together while Saeyoung’s other hand began to massage your neck.

Your hands were simply stroking his strong chest.

Your strong fiancé put your light body on the kitchen counter but was quickly stopped by your screams.

,,Saeyoung!! It’s gross!’’ you complained.

,,Okay…’’ he agreed and began to think.

,,Let’s try anal sex….we didn’t do this yet too….’’ you told him.

He quickly turned you around and showed you that way that he agreed to you.

But this time he put your dress up and helped you to get rid of your dripping wet panties.

,,Now, let’s see how this tastes….’’ he chuckled and began to taste your hole.

Moans and screams filled the house as he rimmed you.

While he played with his tongue Saeyoung took off his pants and stroked his very long member.

His pre-cum helped him a lot when he inserted his manhood into your ass.

,,AHHHH’’ you yelled in pleasure after he hit you once on your beautiful ass.

You supported your body on your kitchen area.

You wanted to keep it low but it became impossible after Saeyoung began to massage your pussy, making you release your long awaited orgasm.

,,So good…’’ Saeyoung praised when he saw his cum coming out of your butthole.

,,Really…?’’ you groaned.

,,Then, let’s go with round two this time…’’ you commanded and spread your legs apart.

Saeran

It was on your mind for a long time now but you still weren’t really prepared to ask him about.

But unfortunately you somehow forgot that he was a good hacker.

He quickly found out when he tried to get rid of the virus on your phone you got recently.

,,Well….’’ he mumbled to himself and looked at all the Porns on your google file.

Your most recent research also appeared - how good is anal sex?

And so he tried to talk to you about it, he reallly had nothing against it.

,,Really? You would do this for me?’’ you asked him with a bright smile.

Saeran nodded and so both of you went towards your bedroom.

You first did a foreplay, both of you totally naked on the bed, he on your body, rubbing his dick against your stomach.

You already moaned when you felt his pre cum on you.

Saeran placed kissed and licks on your whole body.

He first began to suck on your nipples.

,,AHHHH YEAH’’ you praised him and stroked his head when he softly bite you.

His wet tongue wandered down and stopped on your thigh.

He stroked himself a few times and then inserted himself into your mouth.

,,We don’t own a lube, Mc….you need to make it wet with your saliva..’’ he grunted.

He fucked your mouth while you massaged his balls, making him moan loudly your name.

,,Okay……’’ you said with a trembling voice.

His Penis entered your hole and his balls kept hitting your ass.

At some point you grabbed his hands and put them on your boobs.

You couldn’t hold it longer, a thrust, a last massage and his name was everything you could scream before you rode out your orgasm.

Jihyun

Memories of your last years went through your head, beautiful memories. Both of you were now married for almost five years.

Today was a special day - eight years ago you met him, the love of your life.

And today you wanted to do something special and different for him.

,,Jumin, thank you once again for taking care of them.’’ you thanked your friend and looked at your children, Lucy and her little brother Kai.

Your friend smiled at you and said once again that it was no problem at all.

Then he took your children and disappeared in the long black limousine which would drive them to the park where they would meet the other members of the RFA.

And so you prepared everything you needed.

A hour later your husband arrived home.

,,Jihyung….’’ you whispered and kissed him.

Your hands slowly massaged his growing bulge in his black pants.

,,Today eight years ago Saeran and Rika let us met and transformed us to husband and wife…’’ you said and opened his jeans.

,,Please take me anal today to celebrate this day….’’ you chuckled when you saw his odd grimace.

,,Well, MC, it’s an odd was to celebrate but I will try my best….’’ Jihyun

answered and observed you as you kneed in front of him to take his member in your mouth.

Your blowjob made Jihyun almost lose balance, you were amazing in his opinion.

,,Yeah…this feels good…’’ he confessed with a blushed expression.

A simple massage at his balls after this comment and your mouth was filled with his white semen.

You took of you coat and let his cum roll down your body.

,,Wanna taste it?’’ you asked him with a sex voice and laid down stroking your body with his cum.

Jihyun gulped, you knew that he was quite unsure about everything but you were still surprised when he went down and nipped at your skin and tasted his own cum.

While he spoiled your skin you searched the lube.

From then on it was as if he knew perfectly what he had to do.

He lubed his dick and inserted his manhood into your butt, fucking you from behind.

,,Yes, there….mhhhh so good!’’ you praised him.

Jihyun went quicker and quicker.

Your leg suddenly was on his shoulder when he tried to hit you deeper and deeper.

,,Yeeees!’’ you yelled when he hit your sensitive spot, making your body shiver in pleasure.

A few hits later he ejaculated into you, making you filled at hundred precent.

02.09.2019// 18:00 MEST

Tagged:@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @sailormoonrocks666 @widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 @r-f-a-journalists

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fancymuffinparty · 5 years

Text

Just Say You Feel the Way That I Feel...

Rating: T; for suggestive themes and eating cake wayyyyy too fast

Pairing: Mikasa Ackerman x Annie Leonhart, Mikannie

Summary: For Day Three of Annie Week 2k19! (Modern AU) @annieweek

Prompt based on this post.

Annie needs a fake-fiance to try wedding cake samples and Mikasa’s cute and not really doing anything sooooooo...

Word Count: 1769

A/N: My first tumblr-exclusive one-shot of 2019! :O Ahhhh! I guess this coulda worked for Day One Sweets, but it’s a modern AU too so we’ll go with that! :)

Quick shout-out to Mikannie discord peeps that I haven’t chatted with in forever but i love y’all and HERE’S THE FIC I MENTIONED MONTHS AGO!!! :’D oof

*Title inspired by this song I heard at a wedding and was like-

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

“Be my fiancé,” Annie declares as she saunters into the room.

“Your… what?” Mikasa freezes, her coffee cup halfway to her lips.

“Only for like an hour tops,” Annie says. Her eyes are glued to her phone, focused on whatever email or text she’s answering.

“You know it’s me you’re talking to, right?” Mikasa queries, wondering which episode of the Twilight Zone this whole fiasco is supposed to be.

“Look, there’s this amazing baker that’s been written up in the Stohess Times,” Annie explains. “The reviews claim the cakes are out of this world. I guess he’s famous in his hometown or something. Thing is he only does wedding cakes… So we’re sampling them in like twenty minutes.”

Annie mumbles something to the effect of ‘Booked it!’ after shoving her phone in her pocket, then orders: “Get your coat. We gotta go now or we’ll be stuck in traffic.”

Mikasa can’t fathom a response to the blonde’s rambling, merely staring at her as if she’d missed some sort of punchline.

“You like cake, right?” Annie asks, her brows furrowed.

“Well yeah,” Mikasa replies, still unconvinced. “But why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re here and clearly you’re not doing anything,” Annie says, slipping on her jacket. “This was also the only appointment I could squeeze us in. They’re pretty booked.”

“Why don’t you just buy one?” Mikasa asks.

“Buy a wedding cake? For myself? What do I look like? A crazy person?” Annie scoffs, grabbing her car keys.

Mikasa doesn’t have the energy to put up any more resistance, though she desperately wants to point out that Annie’s practically a monster for sweets and therefore if the blonde were to buy an entire wedding cake for herself, she doubts anyone would be the least bit shocked.

Accepting the circumstances for what they are, Mikasa simply shrugs, grabs her coat, and follows Annie out the door. They’re about to hop inside her car when she suddenly remembers the next phase of her plan.

“Almost forgot,” Annie says, handing Mikasa a silver ring. “Might wanna slip this on.”

“Seriously? This might be too far- even for you,” Mikasa mutters, tentatively easing the ring on. After settling themselves in the car, however, she can’t help but admire the subtle gleam of it. “It’s almost an exact replica of yours,” she notes.

Annie nods, half-smiling. “It looks good on you, Ackerman.”

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

The trip is mostly silent. When her curiosity gets the best of her, Mikasa googles the famous baker they’re due to meet in but a few minutes. He’s a friendly-looking fellow named Nikolo from the Marley metropolis. The cakes are gorgeous and she admires the artistic quality to them. No wonder Annie had been so insistent.

Mikasa sighs and rests her head against the backrest of the passenger seat. She gets a bit carried away with her thoughts, allowing herself to imagine what it would be like if this was her reality. What if she and Annie were engaged? What if they really were going to pick out a wedding cake? What if the ring she’s wearing meant more than simply putting on a show? (For free food, of all things…)

But she quickly locks those thoughts back to the darkest corner of her mind where they belong and tries to focus on enjoying the day with her newly acquired fake fiancé.

“Okay, looks like we’re here. Let’s go, dear.” Annie’s out of the car before Mikasa can make an objection to the pet name.

They quickly walk into the bakery where they’re immediately engulfed in the sweet smell of sugar. Annie feels right at home.

“Hello! Welcome!” A tall, slim man greets the duo after they’ve entered the establishment. He introduces himself politely and shakes their hands, to which Annie offers the same in return.

“Wonderful to meet you, Nikolo,” the blonde says. “And thank you for fitting us in. We’re aware of how busy you are.” Without using so much as eye-contact as some sort of unspoken cue, she reaches for Mikasa’s hand, holding it ever-so gently and continues with, “This is my fiancé, Mikasa Ackerman. Soon to be Mrs. Leonhart.”

A blush flashes across Mikasa’s cheeks, enflaming the bridge of her nose. Yet somehow, she manages to keep up with the charade, inserting herself into the exchange.

“Thanks for having us,” she chimes in quickly. “My fiancé practically worships sweets and from what we’ve read online, you’re the go-to guy for wedding cakes.”

Nikolo accepts the compliment, albeit modestly. “I’m honored,” he says with a coy smile. “Now please. If you’ll just follow me…” He makes a civil gesture before leading them into a small room away from the show floor.

There’s a small table embellished with innumerable slices of cake, each looking like a uniquely hand-crafted work of fine art almost too pretty to eat.

Almost.

“So, there are many different styles as you can see,” Nikolo explains. “We have the chocolate delight, the raspberry white dream, the red velvet luxury, the lemon supreme, and of course, the classic buttercream vanilla. Please, feel free to taste and try them all, let me know what you think. I’ll leave you to it.” He quietly exits the room, closing the door behind them to offer his guests some privacy.

“…Wow,” Mikasa whispers in awe, still marveling at the decorative array of sweets.

“Still think my idea’s insane, Ackerman?” Annie quips.

“Most definitely,” Mikasa replies without missing a beat. “But this is going to be totally worth it.”

“Well come on then. We don’t have all day.” Annie hurries to the table and sits down, eyes locked on the slice of the white raspberry dream. Before Mikasa can even pull up a seat next to her, the blonde has already devoured half of the slice.

“Mikasa, you need to try this,” Annie manages in between chewing. She lets out a tiny moan, a sound that is practically sinful.

Mikasa rushes to sit down when she sees Annie shove another bite into her mouth.

“Hey now, slow it down there, Annie,” Mikasa warns, eyeing the blonde with a slightly judgmental look. “It’s not going anywhere.”

“Not my fault you can’t keep up,” Annie sasses back, cake still stuffed in her mouth.

“As your fiancé, I demand you-” Mikasa is unable to finish as Annie quickly shoves a piece of cake into her mouth, using the extra fork on the table.

“Mmmmph!” Mikasa grumbles incoherently at first but as soon as the burst of heavenly flavors overwhelm her senses, she’s practically fallen in love.

“How was that, darlin’?” Annie asks. Taunts, really.

“You’re cruel,” Mikasa replies, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “I need more.”

“Mmmm, that’s what I thought,” Annie drawls. “Maybe if you ask nicely.”

Mikasa huffs and reaches for a different slice of cake. Appears to the be the Lemon Supreme. Her mouth is instantly watering.

“Or I can help myself to this gorgeous specimen,” she asserts.

Annie gobbles down the rest of her own slice, feigning indifference. “Suit yourself.”

She scoops up a hefty serving of the red velvet luxury cake and devours the morsel in predatory fashion. Mikasa finds the blonde’s feistiness rather amusing.

“You oughtta savor the taste, Annie,” she suggests, chewing her next bite slowly. “You’re eating way too fast.”

Annie waves her off, cheeks stuffed to the max. “Believe me, I am thoroughly enjoying this experience.”

Mikasa heaves a sigh and shrugs, stealing a small bite of the red velvet luxury.

Oh, yes, she thinks, cherishing every beautiful second of this passionate moment.

This one’s her favorite.

“You’re making that face,” Annie says abruptly, interrupting her thoughts. “You like that one?”

Mikasa quirks a brow. “What? What face?”

“The ‘Mikasa face of approval’,” Annie replies, smirking. “No need to get all self-conscious about it. It’s cute.”

“Cute?” Mikasa’s chewing picks up, as does the frantic beat of her heart.

Annie’s still admiring her fake fiancé’s bashful expression, until she notices the small crumbs and frosting smeared at the corner of her mouth.

“You got something on your…” Annie points the mess out, to which Mikasa merely tilts her head, questioning.

“I got cake on my face or what?” Mikasa asks, setting aside her fork.

Annie nods, a smug expression adorning her face. “Mmmhmmm.”

Mikasa looks away, slightly embarrassed. Before she can grab a napkin and wipe the crumbs and frosting off, Annie reaches for her face, hand caressing her cheek tenderly.

“Here, let me help,” she says softly. And she slowly leans in.

Mikasa stalls, the anticipation looming over her as Annie eases closer and closer. The blonde gently draws her tongue over the smeared frosting, then merges their mouths together in a sweet kiss; innocent yet so deliberate.

Annie pulls away, but only slightly. “I think I got it.”

Mikasa’s breathing is hitched. “Is a… second helping possible?”

“Oh?” Annie hums. “You mean the red velvet or… do you want me to kiss you again?”

Mikasa’s just about had it with Annie’s sass, so without warning she slips her arms around her waist and pulls the blonde in closer. Their lips meet again, this time in a deeper kiss.

She can still taste the lingering presence of red velvet with every curious graze of her tongue.

“Oh, my! I am so sorry to interrupt!” Nikolo stammers as he walks into the room, wondering if he should just tiptoe out and pretend he didn’t witness their passionate makeout session. “Ummm… Just wanted to see if you two were doing all right.”

From the looks of it, it seems to be going very well.

The two pull away from each other, like shy bashful lovers. “We’re doing fine. Thank you,” Annie replies, clearing her throat.

“Everything tastes wonderful,” Mikasa adds politely.

“Perfect! Well let me know if you need anything.” Nikolo forces a smile, preparing to scurry away in humiliation.

“Actually, can we order the red velvet luxury?” Annie requests. “She really likes this one.” She shoots Mikasa a wink before interlocking their hands together.

“Of course!” Nikolo replies. “I’ll be right back with the order forms.” He excuses himself with a bow and promptly leaves the lovebirds to their own devices.

“Really, Annie?” Mikasa chuckles. “You’re really going to buy the whole cake?”

Annie’s gaze lingers to their joined hands and matching rings. Her little scheme to get her crush to try free wedding cake samples has seemingly rewarded her with the best of both worlds.

She keeps that to herself, of course.

“Why yes,” Annie replies warmly. “Only the best for my fiancé.”

#annieweek2019 #mikannie #mywriting #hahahahah canon? i don't know her :'d #wow i have so many writing projects #i'm glad i was finally able to get this one ready for annie week tho! :o #shout out to rinky <3 #you're like... my mikannie muse tbh #idk if this will show up in the tags but mehhh it is what it is :/#day 3: modern au

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zombies-apocalypse · 6 years

Text

Gargoyles - Awakening

Gonna do all four, five parts in this one post.

I know, I know. I’ve been doing the read more thing lately. It’s not my usual fare, but hey, it’s November. I’m NaNoing so... Yeah, you know the drill.

Part 1

Ahh, this animation style. It’s just straight up nostalgia - ELISA MAZA. My girl! <3 Man, I’ve missed her!

Clawmarks in solid stone. GASP. I wonder what that could have been caused by!

Back to the past!

Why doesn’t that guy’s mustache match his hair?

Sun’s looking real low there, boys.

Ahh, Goliath. How I have missed you, big guy! And that voice. A+ voice.

So, kid' show. Remember. I don’t even know how many of these people are dead now. At least a few have fallen to their deaths. In the first episode. Cause in Gargoyles, shit like this happens.

Royal bitch lady and even the soldiers griping about the Gargoyles. Bitch, please. Ya’ll owe them so much. Beasts? Beasts in the dining hall? Jeez, don’t be an ass. Ugggh. Those assholes.

I’m sitting here on Demona’s side. And not anymore. Not down with the bowing. Goliath being reasonable. Good guy Goliath. Such a sweetie, such a good guy. I’m so, so sorry for what he’ll have to go through soon.

Seriously. Goliath’s voice. Goddamn. Goddamn!

Okay, that mom was rude but you don’t need to be making matters worse by scaring the bitch-ass peasants.

Ugh. Okay, so I don’t like that it’s Vikings coming to attack (cause I like Vikings) but this is just all a human problem. This cowardace, betrayal... Uggggh. And the poor innocents who have to pay. The children and the Gargoyles. And so many defenseless Gargoyles murdered.

I remind you, this is a kid’s show.

Part 2

Ahhh, I’ve gotten how much I loved the opening music for this. Such an epic theme! Hyping me up for the upcoming adventure!

I don’t blame them for wanting revenge. I’d want revenge too.

Of course they’d follow for revenge, you dumbass! You didn’t kill all of them.

Ugggh. The Magus blaming the Gargoyles for the princess being killed. Even though they didn’t do it. Oh man, this curse. It’s not their fault, you assfart. And the princess still lives!

Mad props to Goliath for saving the Princess who was a bitch. Also mad props to the princess for realising the Gargoyles were not the beasts she thought. Ahhh. My heart though. Goliath choosing to be spelled rather than be alone. (Although honestly, he could’ve just waited until the eggs in the rookery hatched and then he wouldn’t be alone cause he could raise them.

Bitch just legit ran all the way inside and up the stairs. So excited to see Goliath. Makes it clear from the start that Xanatos is extra AF.

“Pay a man enough and he’ll walk barefoot into hell.”

Seriously, how much money does this motherfucker have? Cause he’s paying to buy a castle and paying everything to take at least some chunks of it and affix it on top of his skyscraper.

And the curse is broken! Woo! Their reaction to the city though. A+.

Xanatos, you extra mother fucker.

Oh, the eggs are gone. RIP. Although it has been 1000 years...

I’m just shaking my head at this entire fight.

LOL. “These weapons. We must be fighting sorcerers!”

Oh, and now we’re seeing what lead to the beginning of the first episode. Hello Elisa.

No, Goliath. Don’t trust Xanatos. Oh no, wait, trust humans. Just not that one.

Part Thre?e

Seriously though, how were girls supposed to watch this show without getting a crush on Goliath? Just saying.

And hell, Elisa. Elisa’s a babe too. Can we talk about her? How she’s smart, brave, and awesome. A badass babe who’s a damn good detective with a lovely heart. And she’s a POC! And a main character! Legit, she’s African/Native American. She was always meant to be a POC. Originally they had her as Hispanic, but when they cast her voice actress they changed Elisa to match. And this in a show that came out in 94!

So Elisa just met Goliath during all the time that I was babbling about Elisa.

Dude, I don’t do heights so I can’t blame her one bit for clinging.

Ahh, these two. “A good detective trusts no one.” “That much we have in common.” You say that, you both say that. But nahhh, you’re cinnamon rolls underneath all that distrust.

Floppy! That’s a floppy! AHH. VHS!

Hi Demona. Think I didn’t recognise you in those shadows there?

This show is sometimes really pretty.

“Stay outta sight.” Solid advice that will quickly be forgotten.

AHH. Just scooped her up! And that smile. AHH. Bridal style. Ahhhh.

Gods, this music. XD

Meanwhile, back at the castle. The newly named Hudson is walking around with their pouty pupper. And getting startled by rock’n’roll.

Jesus lady. A car with a carphone in 94? 40 grand... You’re talking like he brought it from some junkyard.

Meanwhile, the other three are blowing up some guy’s motorbike.

Oh, well. Who knew a single tranq dart would be enough to take down a Gargoyle. Or did they get him a few more times after that. I don’t know.

Part 4

Dunnnn, dun dun dun dun dunnnnnn!

There’s my girl, kicking some ass! They underestimated her. Also they don’t know how to aim.

Oh god, don’t try calling a taxi. That won’t end well. Yup, there he goes.

Yup, just a single tranq dart. Just one. Just now taken off. And a tracker.

Elisa the beast whisperer. Taming wild dogs long enough to put the tracker on him. Smart girl.

Hudson and puppers are getting used to the idea of television. Oh, I saw The Lion King for a second there. I see what you did there Disney.

And Elisa now knows he turns to stone during the day. Brave girl, catching their eye and leading them away. You know she’s gotta be exhausted. It’s been a long night for her and yet she’s still being a champion. Gods, I love her.

Again, their aim is rubbish while hers is on point. Go Elisa! <3

That lighting though, when the blond baddie stepped over the crack. Ahhhh.

Also what part of New York city is this that has a dock and a waterfall?

This guy is an idiot. Again, underestimating my girl.

Moment of awe and respect for Elisa. Leading those jackasses away, risking her life, and then returning to guard Goliath! <3

Brooklyn! Broadway! Lexington! Ahhh, my precious boys! And let’s not forget our adorable Bronx! <3

And NOW. NOW he reveals that Demona’s there. Insert gasp of shock from Goliath. And sinister look from Demona, a character who was never very good. And full of bullshit. Yeah, sure. He acquired her for his private collection, but she implied she asked to be cursed by the magus to be with them. AHH Goliath, you’re still in wuv with the bitch.

Ugggh, Goliath, sweetie. She’s no good.

Of course the Elevator is different. You’re looking at the mechanics that pull it up and down, not the one people ride in. Such a good detail there.

Part 5

FLOPPY ACQUIRED.

I feel bad for all the frightened scientists in that building. Jeez, imagine their nightmares after that.

Talk of monsters, you say? As if your people haven’t fought them before, eh? It almost smacks of a miscommunication. Of course, the defenders dressing differently from the attackers don’t seem to register to the Gargoyles. Then again, they have yet to see a reason not to trust Demona and Xanatos. Poor darlings.

Second floppy acquired.

NYOOM.

And now for Goliath and Demon to complete their mission... Success, but of course Demona fucks up their poor ship because she gives no shits about the well-being of humans. Splash. At least they had a softish landing in the water. Some of them should’ve survived. Most probably died.

Again, this is a kid’s show.

Ahhh, that hate. Hating all the humans for the sins of a few who are long gone.

Ahhh, the truth comes out! The attackers are from Xanatos’ company. No one had stolen anything from him. He sent them after disks that didn’t belong to him! Gasp! He used them from the beginning! Colour me shocked! (Which I’m not, of course.) And of course Demona’s in on it.

Dudeee, the Goliath bots. I forget what they’re called. But goddamn are they cool.

That isn’t a very sturdy bot, Xanatos. Should’ve made them more impact resistant.

I’d ask why he bothered with waking up Goliath and his friends to begin with, but it’s more cost effective to have a self-healing attack dog than a robotic one. Obviously he was hoping he’d get the actual Gargoyles on his side, expecting them to play nice - which he did very well except with Goliath himself.

Ah, Demona with a rocket launcher.

Ahhh, the reveal. Demona had betrayed them along with the captain. Tsk tsk. And now everyone hears it.

Elisa to the rescue! Woo!

Oh no, they both fell! And Demona’s wings got hit! And Goliath caught Elisa, but not Demona who fell out of view. Bye bitch. See ya later.

And Xanatos has been arrested. I don’t recall how long that lasts.

“Good, maybe we’ll catch a Giants game.” “Giants?” Ahahaha, he has no idea what she’s talking about and it’s precious.

#zombie watches Gargoyles #this post is a liveblog of episodes 1 through 5

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mudanonaito · 3 years

Note

Hello again! Secret Santa here! Sorry it took me so long to respond. School and work have been crazy hectic. How are you doing?? 😊 Your top 5 are top tier but you mentioned Haikyuu at the end and I went feral. I love it so much. But to answer your question my top 5 are Tokyo Ghoul, Haikyuu, Tokyo Revengers, Jujutsu Kaisen,& Demon Slayer.

Do you have any ships that you are really into? Or are you more of a self insert reader? (I know I am personally). Also any genres you like more?? I am a big writer of angst but I do like adding in some tooth rotting fluff every now and then.

Stay Safe! 💞

No need to say sorry! I'm fine, hope you're doing well also while balancing all the work and remember to take care of yourself too ! 😇. Omg haha yes Haikyuu!! is one of a kind, i think I've watched the first few seasons like 3 times already lolol the characters are such idiots and i love idiots lolol 🤣 And ahhhh you got good taste!! all those you listed i enjoyed / enjoying!

As for ships at the moment I'm really focused on loid and yor from spy x family hehehe but if its about ships from the series mentioned then i enjoy kagehina, and kuroken and ahhh the relationship of draken and mikey i like too im only watching and not reading tokyo revengers yet but i feel like draken would do anyything for mikey 👌👌💯💯 hahha

Ahh yeaaaa i like self insert too so i know what you mean i think it kind of depends on the character??? like if its Hinata i see him more like my baby my sunshine loolol but if its Gojou or Nanami or Reigen (omg i cant believe i named the dilfs) then i like it as self insert if that makes senseeeee LOLOL and YES i like angst i like the painnn lolol and of course fluff is cute too and i like alterntive universes hehe

#reply #secret santa ❤️

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counterpunches · 6 years

Text

Review response time! Thanks, everyone!

@jenny-calendar said: #ahhhh i’m all about adorable lesbian witch fic :’)

there are only two extremes for w/t fic - nauseatingly sweet or soul-suckingly depressing

@bisummers said: #ahhh i was so full and warm

its nice taking a break from angst to write cute and innocent (full and warm is the loveliest phrasing. having known that feeling, its such a compliment, thank you :) )

@kathubs said: # OMG I TOTALLY READ THIS YEARS AGO # BLESS YOUR HEART # IT'S SO CUTE # they're so sweet and tentative and gay # i relate to them both so much here # with the loving the feel and shape and texture and imprint of books and printing # and feeling alone but loving the solitude and repetition # gah # it's just# so good # amazing

I AM A FANDOM OLD NOW, what can I say. Except thank you! Its also crazy to think about how much of myself I poured into the story - the location (hello, Smith), the books (yes I was the 8 year old who took out Birds of America from the elementary school library), the setting (god, did I love doing letterpress), the emotions (longing for connection and love). This was definitely the most self-insert I’ve ever done and ever will do for a story

#Punchy replies #fic response #its also crazy to think that ten years later I found her and am about to be engaged wouldya lookit that #thanks guys for reading and commenting!

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: hehe hello cuties, before i get to the chapter, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the support and lovely messages you that you sent to me for the last chapter. as I said, it was one that was super personal to me and for it to be so relatable and emotional for you all makes my heart feel so, so full. these themes are going to continue, so please read the warnings cuties. as always, thank you so very much for reading my stories <3

Part 6

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, roommate!minho, explicit language, HARD fluff to HARD angst, some sensual-azz fuckin’ (muhaha), unprotected sex (stay safe cuties!), lil bit of breath play, nipple play (f), cumshot, mentions of food, changbin has a cute butt (that’s the tweet)

CWs: aftereffects of traumatic experiences, mentions of past toxic relationship, self sabotaging tendencies

Word count: 6.6k (remember when i said i wasn’t gonna write long chapters? wellllll...ooP)

Chapters

When you were back in high school, before you knew a thing about what love was, your Art teacher had given you an assignment: what do you think that love looks like? At first, all you had really known love to be was the kind that you shared with your friends and your parents, and maybe with your family dog. You had read about love in your favorite books and seen it in your favorite movies, but you had never really considered what it looked like. Obviously, the assignment was all up for you to decide, but there being a million and one things that you considered love to be, to put it to paper with your own hand was something different entirely.

At first, when you thought of love, you thought of the typical: hearts, hugs, the colors red and pink. But, this was too simple.

“What are you drawing?” You had sneakily whispered to your classmate.

She shrugged, and continued scratching away at her sketchbook. You had peeked to see what she was putting together, and for her, she had started to draw what looked like a house on the edge of a lake. The house was in the middle of nowhere and it was surrounded by trees of all different kinds and there was a single bench that sat at the edge of the water.

You figured, love can be a place, so you started drawing that.

Your pencil swiped over the paper in strokes big and small, and the lead rubbed off on the side of your pinky as you outlined the corners of your apartment building.

You thought, I love the people who live here, therefore, this must be love.

It made sense. People and places could make up love.

When you turned in your drawing of your apartment building you were surprised to see the variety of other paintings and drawings that the other students had turned in. One student had turned in a whole piece that had been drawn with oil pastel. It was a jumbling of colors: mostly red, as you had expected, but it also held streaks of gold, black and teal. You remember your teacher really liking that one.

Today, if you would’ve gotten that assignment, it would’ve been completely different.

It was a sunny afternoon when you sat at your easel with your pencil in hand. Drawing out the mere outline and rough draft, tears welled in your eyes. A long time ago you had promised yourself that if your art didn’t mean anything, what even was it?

The sun filled your room in the golden hour of the day best it could from your frosted glass window. The warmth that the rays held made your whole body swell with a warmth, and it gave your shaking arms the power to keep going.

You brushed lightly over the rough canvas with your pencil, tracing out the lines as if they were the very memories that you had kept painted in your mind.

You drew a snowy night, not much unlike the ones that you had been seeing recently. You drew an empty alley, not lit by much light. You drew the way that the oil slicked in potholes mixed with the snow. You planned out the way that the industry of the city lit his back as he stared out into that dark expanse where you knew that darker figures were hiding. You drew him. You drew him on that exact same night that you had fist seen him: a dark outline, who would become full of color.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“What’s that?”

Changbin pointed to your easel with a sheet draped over it.

“A surprise.” You answered. “I know that I’m not good with surprises, but, are you?”

“I don’t mind them.” He chuckled. “For me?”

“Mmhm. Its not ready yet so you’ll have to wait.”

“I’m fine with waiting.” He sighed out.

You nuzzled closer into his bare chest, right up to his heartbeat. Both of you were admittedly a bit dewy in your sweaty afterglow, but this was of no concern to you. These past few days, this had been your preferred way to drift off to sleep. Even on the occasional times when the both of you would be too busy to make the time, when you finally could see him, it was everything to you. In his large and muscled arms, there was no place else where you had felt safer. You too wrapped your whole being around him with a feeling so close it must’ve been unreal. If you could hear the muffled little rhythm of his heartbeat, you were sure that he could hear yours.

“Soon, all this snow is gonna melt, and then I can take you to loads of other places. I’m just getting started.” Changbin’s airy breath tickled your scalp.

“Really? Taking me to all the usual places?” You mocked.

“No.” He said seriously. “I want to take you to places I haven’t taken anyone before. My secret places. I...you know...wouldn’t mind if you could draw them for me either.”

You giggled, “Ever heard of taking a picture?”

“Hey! It’s not the same.”

“Fineee. Okay, okay. I’ll draw them for you.” Your fingertips traced down the muscles of his back. “Maybe I should start charging if you’re gonna keep being like this.”

“You don’t do pro-bono?” He ran along with your joke.

“If you ask nicely, maybe I’ll consider it.”

He tsked, “Could you please draw for me?”

You masked another adoring chuckle. “I do like it when you say please.”

Everything about the one moment felt so sickly sweet, it was like you must’ve dreamt it up. In between the swaddling of sheets, you tried your best to enjoy the one moment: it was just enough to keep the doubtful whispers away. After all that he had done, said, all the pain that he had kissed away, or compliments he had hushed into your ear, the creeping feeling that you hardly deserved it all would rear it’s head time and again, even when you didn’t expect it to.

The two of you were quiet for a moment as you fell into the serenity of just existing together. After a while, you would narrow your focus best on the way that his breaths would rise and fall and the way this his body heat would melt into yours under the mess of sheets that neither of you bothered to fix. He would use his thumb to rub reassuring little strokes into the back of your neck where he had you.

Your hand would fall down his arm, all the way down this wrist where his scar lived. Ever since you had noticed it, you couldn’t stop looking at it. Every time that you did, you were given a tangible reminder of everything that he had been, and was, to you. You rose the uneven skin to your lips to gift a little kiss to it.

Changbin tried his best to hide his giddy smirk at the action.

“Do you have to leave tonight?” You settled his arm around you once more.

“No. Not tonight. But, for the next few days I don’t think I’ll be able to. They put me on the matinee shifts at the theater. I fucking hate those. No one comes in at all so it’s like I’m just sitting there.”

“Wanna sneak me in some time this week? I should have a break.”

“I would but...I’d prefer to keep that job. As much as I hate it.”

“We could do something this Thursday? You aren’t busy on Thursdays as much right?”

“Ahhhh I think so.” Changbin rolled the two of you over, allowing himself to lean over top of you. With a sly smirk he lowered his voice to say, “You know, my ribs really aren’t hurting as much any more.”

“Oooh? Good to know.” You ruffled his curly strands.

“I’m trying to say that I can go for another round if you would like to?” He bowed his head to kiss lightly into your neck and the fading love bites that he had put there himself.

Your eyes wandered to your clock telling you that it was nearly 2 in the morning. If you had better judgement, you would’ve said no. But, these days, judgement wasn’t something that you took too seriously.

He kissed down deeper, and pulled at your skin just in the way that he knew you liked it. Changbin knew the ins and outs of you perfectly, as well as exactly what to do send you quivering under him. All he had to do was press his body into yours so you could feel his weight, and it made you fold just for him. He followed his kisses up your jaw where he then lead them into your bottom lip and over every angle that your mouth would crave him. He often didn’t mean to do it intentionally, but between your parted mouths, his tongue would sneakily find yours, and he would slowly slide it against yours.

“Do you want to?” He muttered between kisses.

Under the covers, his hand cascaded down your side in a way that tickled slightly, but also made you shiver.

He broke from his kiss to hold your eyes seriously. “We don’t have to.”

“No, I want to.” You reached up to hold his sleepy and puffy face in your hands.

Changbin said nothing more, but instead returned to weaving kisses back down your neck. Under your waist, you felt him angle up your hips higher and the heat of his tip teased at your entrance still slick with your arousal from before, and now renewed. He bowed his head down to your chest to pump himself with a few muffled grunts. After, he rose his head to hold your eyes with his own. The muscles on his arms flared where he held himself up, and those adorable little stretch marks in the corners of his arms moved with them.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

You melted under his compliment. No matter who many times he had said it, you still weren’t use to it.

“So are youuuu.” You said with a dreamy tone. One other thing that you had figured out about him was that returning such comments to him made him a flustered mess. It was utterly adorable for someone as stoic as him at times.

“Psh.” He scoffed, then lowered his voice once again. “Beautiful how I fill you up sweetheart?” Changbin angled your waist up higher, then spread your thighs, finally pushing them into your body to tighten you. He aligned himself over you, then pushed himself in agonizingly slow. “Beautiful how I can fuck you so deep? How I can m-make you...”

He had given up on talking, but rather thrust himself further into you with his shaking breaths and little “mmm’s” getting caught on his tongue.

“B-Bin...fuck, f-feels s-so good--”

He pushed your legs up closer to your body, allowing himself greater access to graze your g-spot. Your busy fingers found their way around his back to claw all the way down. He still relished in taking his time with you, and would never rush fucking you--it was as if he had all the time in the world to unravel you. You returned around him, tightening has he fucked in and out with his own pace. After a while of doing the same, his hand crept around your neck to give you a couple choking squeezes that made you whimper out like a kitten. He would never keep it going for long however, but rather indulged himself in the way that your gasps would remind him of how good it all felt. After, Changbin dipped his thumb into your mouth to run the pad over your tongue.

The tip of his teeth caught the skin of his lip which he bit into hard.

��You feel so good baby. F-feels so good on my cock. It’s all for you angel.”

An unrestrained groan escaped from your mouth as he continued and your orgasm pooled steadily. In and attempt to steady yourself you clawed back into your pillow supporting your head.

He swiftly changed your position, taking both of his hands to turn you on your stomach. Without a pause he lead his swelling head back into your pussy where he kept on going at his favored slow pace. Your face smushed into the pillow with hips raised in the air. The fluffy fabric muffled your helpless moans.

“Louder for me princess.” He growled.

With one hand he arched over to tweak at your nipples with force: twisting and pulling, then he wet his hand with his own saliva to let your skin feel the cold and wet sensation. His other hand he used to reach around and rub circles into your clit. He was gentle at first, but worked your bud harder and faster. Your knees and legs shook the faster he rubbed, and you spilled your loudest and most unapologetic moans into the room that had risen in temperature.

“Fuck...” He swore. Changbin allowed himself to quicken his pace inside of you. The action alone sent you spinning wildly into your orgasm: a tear of white hot heat that shook your whole body and turned your swollen bud into a sensitive mess under his fingers which did stop, even when when he knew that you had just cum all over them. The harder he pressed, the more wonderfully painful it felt, and you let your tears fall hot from your eyes to the sheet. You attempted to call out his name, but no words that left your mouth made sense.

He turned your body once more, using brutish hands on your hips as he pulled you overtop of the sheets to fuck you into the bed once more with your sweating back stuck to the comforter. Your body shook with your orgasm still, and you needily brought his lips down to yours to kiss him with your thank you’s as he milked himself out in your tightening walls.

Changbin was animalistic in the way that he finally let his hips snap over you, at last reaching his orgasm mere seconds after he had pulled out and jerked himself over you. Ribbons of his white cum came spilling out over your gasping chest and stomach and dripped lazily from his pink and flaring tip. He took in shallow inhales as he did, and kept rubbing until the very end and he had nothing more to give. Even as his hand dropped, you took his dick in your own hand to just twist lightly and ride out the last of his orgasm. He softened in your hand with eyes closed in his focus and came down.

The combination of your lust held in the air for a few silent moments, then he collapsed back down next to you into a blushing and exhausted mess. His pink chest shook, and his soft heather eyes found you.

“We should...probably take a shower right?”

“Probably.” You grinned.

Changbin leaned over to plant even more sugary sweet kisses on top of your lips. He always was one to admire his work, so he chuckled lightly seeing the way that he had properly covered you in his cum.

“I can help you clean that off.”

The bed shook and he rose to get you something to clean up. You wished that you could’ve moved to see him saunter around your room without a single piece of clothing on. It was no secret that he had one hell of a cute butt.

Changbin helped you out of the bed, finding that your legs had started to shake and betray you a bit more harshly than you had intended. He ran the water for you both, inviting you in to take the task of cleaning you to himself. He took the suds in his own hands to brush them all over your body and took careful and gentle attention to the more sensitive parts of your body. He giggled a little at the way that even under the warm water, your nipples would still harden when he ghosted his fingers over them with soap.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You scolded him.

He took care of the little bruises on your neck and collarbones, giving them kisses under the clear stream of water as if he was healing them. After he was done, you did the same and cleaned out his hair with your shampoo. He always let out happy little groans when you would massage his scalp. He still had a couple scrapes on his face from a few weeks ago, so you kissed all of them too.

Changbin’s favorite part was how he could mess up your hair with the towel afterword and make you look as ridiculous as possible. Of course, you would do the same. You would brush your teeth together, and dress somewhat all of the way back again. A while ago he decided keeping clothes at your place was a good idea, but you ended up wearing them more than he did. You blamed it on dirty laundry, but you really did just like the way that they would smell all tangled up in your blankets on your nights alone.

With bare legs, you would tangle yourselves all up in eachother once more, and not even bother to look at what time it was then.

As it had become his habit, before the two of you drifted to sleep, Changbin would kiss into your forehead “l love you. You know?”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Chocolatey goodness wafted up Felix’s nose, and he let out a happy little squeal.

“~Thank youuu~” He beamed to the waitress.

He took a careful sip not to burn his tongue, then turned his head to watch the way that the snow had started to flurry outside of the diner window. Minho flipped the pages of his book and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Whatcha reading?” Felix said with a little tap of his feet under the table.

Rather than answering, Minho sighed out and closed his book. “Nothing now. If you’re gonna ask questions, then I’ll get distracted, so, nothing now.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Felix frowned.

Minho rolled his eyes, suddenly becoming exasperated over his new friend’s dramatic reaction.

“It was something that I’m assigned to read for one of my classes. It’s about economics or something like that. I’m kind of just skimming; reading because I have to....” He took a sip of his coffee. “Y/n should be reading the same book considering that we are in the same class...but I haven’t even seen you with it yet.”

You prodded at your plate of half eaten waffles. “About that...”

“If you think that I’m gonna give you the SparkNotes you are sorely mistaken.”

You writhed in your seat a bit like an upset toddler. “Come onnnnn, Minho, you know that I don’t have time for that, working at the library and such...”

“--More like stealing my roommate from me. I hardly see him at our apartment anymore.” Minho made his remark with a type of snark, but knowing him, he was still just as sarcastic.

“Yeah,” Felix piped up. “The three of us haven’t hung out in a while either!”

“...Sorry, I’ve just been getting...caught up in things.”

Minho cleared his throat. “I’m not saying that its a bad thing. It’s just something that I’ve noticed.”

Felix nodded, “Me too! I’m really happy for you!! So is Chan, don’t get me wrong. We haven’t seen you so happy and like, not serious in such a long time. Really, I’m so so glad that you have someone like him for a boyfriend.”

Your fork scratched your plate. “--Boyfriend?”

“Yeah!” Felix beamed. “Isn’t that what he is?”

Minho too held an expectant gaze.

“I-I don’t think...we hadn’t really talked about what it is that we’re doing...or are.”

“So you’re saying that he’s not your boyfriend?” Minho cocked his head in his confusion. “Well, you ask him and he’ll think that it’s a different story.”

“H-he talks about me?” You sat up straighter.

“Well, he hasn’t explicitly said anything, but the way that he never shuts the fuck up...” Minho suddenly became much more interested in his coffee.

“What? You don’t want him to be your boyfriend?” Felix looked just as confused.

In your hands, you crinkled up the napkin that you had resting on your lap. You hadn’t in fact, ever thought of such. Merely, you had thought that you loved him, and that you enjoyed being around him and that he had made you happy. Was it odd that the thought had never crossed your mind?

“And he hasn’t said anything about it either?” Felix leaned in. To his side, Minho nudged his arm in the most non-obvious way possible.

“...No?”

Your heartbeat quickened in pace.

“Af...after everything that happened back then? Didn’t you say that he like, confessed or something and you did the same? You’ve only been hanging out with eachother for weeks?” Felix pushed his cocoa away from himself to lay his hands flat on the table.

“I...don’t think that we should press the issue.” Minho patted down the boy sitting next to him.

It was the feeling that you had been avoiding for weeks: that kind of uncertainty and fear that you had pushed down so far after the night that it all came together, but you didn’t expect it to manifest like this. In your chest a knot tied itself together tightly and in a way that you couldn’t explain.

“I...just like what's happening right now between us, I didn’t think that he would want--”

Felix nudged Minho by the hip, motioning for him to let him out of his side of the booth. Minho rolled his eyes, but did so muttering, “I said we shouldn’t press the issue but here you go...”

Felix slid over to your side of the booth, nearly shoving you up close to the wall with how near he scooched to you. Carefully, he removed the napkin that you had scrunched up into your palm.

“Relax okay? You’re doing it again. Just calm down.” While his tone was sweet, you couldn’t help but find some condescending edge--real or not.

“Doing what? I don’t think that I’m doing anything wrong??”

Felix let you squeeze his hand tight, as patient as ever.

“Do you not want him to be your boyfriend?” He repeated. “But he treats you so nicely? There’s nothing to worry about.”

At first you were angry at yourself, angry at yourself for feeling the hot tears well up in your eyes in public,

I’m so fucking pathetic.

Secondly, you were furious at yourself for feeling anything less than the happiness that had made up your whole world for the past few weeks. You had worked so hard just to make something that made sense, and he made sense. Why did it have to be much more complicated than that?

“Y/n?” Felix bowed his head down with his softening gaze.

“F-Felix, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m just trying to understand so I can help you out with this. Clearly there’s something that’s upsetting you about, I don’t know, putting a label on it? If that’s the right word--”

Minho sucked at his teeth, “He’s too nice to say that you’re self sabotaging again. Listen, you don’t have to have the answers right now, we’re just saying you’re getting in your own way at having something that could be really great.”

Felix shot daggers in Minho’s direction.

“I wasn’t gonna say this, but Bin’s been going through shit right now with his family that I’m sure he isn’t telling you about. Someone tipped them off about what he’s been doing and they’re furious. He’s been telling them that no one knows that he’s tied to them when he raps but they aren’t listening. Literally when he goes to see you it’s like, what’s helping him forget all that shit. He cares about you a fuck ton, and I’ve heard about it all. He wants you to be his girlfriend. Believe me. Don’t know why he hasn’t brought it up yet, but...”

Felix took in a shaky breath, then turned his attention back to you. “Besides all that, I think that you should at least talk to him about this all. I had no idea that you felt this way. I’m sorry for making assumptions. At least, if you and him talk about it, you can figure something out right?”

You took at the papery and crinkled napkin and dabbed it harshly on your eyes to dry your tears before they had a chance to run further down your face.

“Why the fuck doesn’t he tell me anything?” Your voice wavered.

Minho folded his hands on the table. “Knowing him, he probably thinks that it would be burdening to you. Selfless dick. He thinks that putting that shit on you somehow makes him seem like a handful or some shit.”

“B-but I don’t feel that way?”

“Then tell him!!” Felix’s volume rose. “When you talk to him, tell him that.”

“What the fuck is this, a drama?” Minho laughed a little. “These communication skills are god-awful.”

“Oh fuck off Minho,” Felix rubbed your back to soothe you. “This is real life, and we’re here to help out Y/n.”

“That’s fuck off Minho-hyung to you.” The older boy stuck out his tongue.

You wiped your nose against your hand, then Minho threw another napkin from the holder in your direction.

“I promise that things will get better when you talk to him.” Felix nodded. “Talking always helps.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Thursday afternoon came, and the forecast had called for snow, but none had come. Rather, the atmosphere had turned to be dreary and grey the whole day long, and the temperature dropped so low that some local schools had to cancel classes for the day. Your university had decided to do the same. While you had been thankful and decided to spend the day working on your various projects, you couldn’t bring your hand to the canvas.

All day long you had spent figuring out what it really was that you wanted to say to Changbin, and you still hadn’t figured it out yet. Even you didn’t know what it was entirely that scared you deeply. But, you knew that somewhere you did.

Why her?

You could do better.

Isn’t she...boring?

You hugged your legs to yourself as you waited on your couch. The memories seeped into your brain like some kind of poison diffusing its way.

No, no. You’re wrong. You tried your best to banish them.

You’re all mine. No one else’s. Don’t you ever forget that. Tell me. Who’s baby are you?

You squeezed your eyes shut, and dug your nails into the fleshy part of your knees where you held them.

You don’t own me. You don’t have the fucking power.

Three knocks clicked at your door, and you knew that it was Changbin. Your chest shook with a type of anxiety that felt like prickling thorns. You rose to open the door.

“Fuck. It’s so freezing out there.” Was the first thing that he said. “I wouldn’t mind not having to go back out there if you are?” He slung his coat over one of chairs to your two person dining table. As soon as he was undressed, you were overcome with the desire to be as close as possible as you could get to him. It had been your safe place.

Changbin let out a little surprised noise when you launched your body at him, but he just as quickly held you back firmly.

“Is everything okay?”

For a moment you let his rosemary and cedarwood cast aside all the ideas and words that ate away at you.

“Can we talk?” You mumbled.

“Yeah, of course. Can we sit down? Get a blanket maybe?” You nodded and let him do the work of going back to your room to get back your knit blanket that he knew you liked best. He threw it over his shoulders them beckoned you to join him in his arms. You snuggled right up into his chest where he had tucked himself into the corner of the couch. “Want to talk about it now?”

With glistening eyes you tried your best to look up at him. His cheeks were still bitten pink from the cold.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about your parents? Or about what’s going on right now?”

Changbin sighed and bit at his lower lip in his discontent. “Minho said something didn’t he?”

“You can tell me, you know?”

Changbin shook his head. “It’s not your problem to worry about, so I don’t want you do.”

“But you’re my problem to worry about. Don’t you get that?”

He sighed once more, then rested his head atop of yours. Where he held you around your arms, he rubbed gently.

“And if...being with me helps you...I’ll come around anytime alright? You don’t just have to come here.”

He laughed a little. “My place isn’t as private as yours is.”

You toyed with the fraying fabric of the blanket. “You know that I can be quiet if I need to be. Or if you just want me to sleep over, I can do that too.”

“I don’t want you going out of your way--”

“--I don’t mind.” You nuzzled a little deeper. “So, your parents are giving you a hard time?”

He tsked. “Yeah. It’s just...stupid is all. They care so much about what I do and don’t do when I left so it wouldn’t bother them. They’re trying hand out some kind of threats to me like they have the right to do so....they don’t.”

“What are you going to do?”

Changbin helped you up a bit higher up his body so your head could rest on his shoulder. “Nothing. Keep doing what I’ve always been. No one knows except the people I have closest to me. They’re worrying over nothing.”

You formed a “oh” with your lips.

“But, it’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”

Already, you had forgotten what you really had decided to talk to him about. It had slipped from your mind just as quickly as you had let it arise. The two of you grew quiet, and you let yourself become overcome with the feeling and warmth that his body and the blanket gave to you. You wondered if he would’ve gotten mad if you had fallen asleep just then. It didn’t seem like the worst idea.

“As long as we’re talking about things, do you mind if I ask you something?” Changbin asked after planting a small kiss on your forehead.

“What’s that?” You said with a sleepy and cracking voice.

“You...don’t have to have the answer right now, but I just thought it would be worth it to ask, since we’ve been doing you know, this, for a few weeks now. You already know how I feel about you, I think that I’ve made it pretty damn clear, but, I was thinking that we could make things exclusive between us? Like, it just becomes me and you?”

Drip by drip, the drowsiness that had swept over your eyes dissipated.

“Would you be up for that? I just, it seems a bit odd to me that we haven’t talked about it yet considering...well, I think that it would be easier if we knew what we were so then we could, I don’t know, plan or something like that? It’s kind of a commitment, I know, but I want you to know that I’m willing--”

“Bin...” You pulled yourself up from his chest.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that? Did-did I say something wrong?”

Who’s baby are you?

“You want me to...be yours?”

“Well, not exactly, you know what I’ve said before, but, I would like you to be my girlfriend--”

A sob clogged your throat. Now that he had finally said it, the realizations came flooding over you like the deathly winter chill.

“Angel, are you scared again? I told you that you don’t have to with me, I swear that I don’t ever want to hurt you or anything like what happ--”

“--Like happened what? Back when I was so fucking stupid to get myself locked up in something that I thought would be good for me? Why is it that you want me to be your girlfriend, huh? I-is it because I-I fall over for you? I can’t run away from you? Am-am I just a good fuck for you? What is it?”

“What the fuck? Where is this coming from? Y/n, you know that I love you, I fucking love you like crazy and I don’t think any of those things!! I’m not trying to restrain you our use you or anything like that, I don’t know why the hell you would think that!”

“B-because you might not now, but what about later down the line...when I get boring or you figure out that I’m not as exciting like I used to be or--”

“--What?! No! That’s not gonna happen!” Changbin reached out to pull you back into his arms, but you shook him off.

Salty tears filled the corners of your mouth. “The last time that I-I did something like this, I--”

“--Well this isn’t last time, this is this time, okay? It’s different! I swear to God that I’m not that fucking asshole. I get that you’re scared, okay, that’s totally understandable, but I’m asking you to trust me alright? Can you trust me?”

Part of you wanted to trust him. In fact, a much larger part of yourself wanted to trust him so bad, it hurt. But, a smaller part of you, a much smaller part of you still screamed into the abyss that he was the last person in the world that you could trust; and that voice, was much louder.

“I want you to be my girlfriend, and I want to give you everything that I have. All my fucking time, my attention, hell, just minutes ago you said that I was your problem, can’t you be mine? Is that not allowed? I’m just...I DON’T get you!!!” Changbin growled out the tail end of his sentence and only after he had said it he realized it was much louder than he intended. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...please. I’m not mad at you.”

Your body had weakened, so when he had reached out for you, you let yourself fall into his arms.

“Angel, can’t you see that what I’m trying to do is the complete opposite of what you think I am? Yeah I mean, it would be nice to call you my girlfriend, but not because I’m trying to control you or anything, but because...fuck, you make me happier, made me feel like I’m less lonely in this fucking crazy-ass world. I want to be that for you and you only.”

Poisonous thoughts. Why were they even more alluring than the antidote that you had right in front of your face?

Your limp body mustered up the strength of push yourself off his chest. Looking into his eyes you felt numb. With all the care that he held for you, you felt as if you didn’t deserve one single ounce of it.

Why her?

You figured that in some parallel earth, you would’ve been able to have said yes. In that parallel earth, nothing bad would’ve ever happened, and you wouldn’t have been crouched in that alley with snow melting into your dress. You would’ve lived a normal life without pain and doubt. Maybe you would’ve met him there too, and you would’ve been able to say yes.

“You...don’t have to have the answer right now, but can you please consider it...for me? I meant everything that I said, but I...I also can’t wait forever.” You heard his voice grow thick. “I know that if...you can’t do it, or iff you don’t know, then I can’t just make it happen. There’s not a lot else that I can do. But at least I want to try.”

You could do better.

“I-I think that I need to be alone...right now--tonight.” Two more hot tears fell down your cheeks with a sting like a papercut.

“Right now?”

“Yeah, just--there’s things that I need to think about, I don’t..I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“No. I understand.” Changbin sniffled.

Slowly, your two bodies seperated, and the heat from his body faded. You thought to yourself, it wasn’t yours to keep in the first place.

You lead him quietly to the door where you watched him lace up his shoes and throw on his coat. His eyes had become puffy, as much as you figured you had looked as well. His grey eyes looked tired, just like the dreary day that you had spent all day hiding from. Still, he smiled.

“Y/n. I know that you think that you’re hard to love. But you’re not. If you take away anything from this, I hope you know that your past doesn’t define you, and that you can have happiness after it all. I want to be that for you. If you’ll let me. Only if you’ll let me.”

Your clogged nose made a horrible stuffed sound and you nodded. You had listened to his words, but had you heard?

He sighed with finality, then bent down to kiss at the salty taste on your lips.

“Call me, okay?”

You closed the door after him, then collapsed down the door. Your pent up sobs flew out of your chest with loud and ugly sounding sobs. Each one hurt more than the last to get out. You crumbled against the wood door, and didn’t even mind the cool draft from under the crack. Your world became a blur in front of your watery eyes and your hands shook as they took your phone from your pocket.

Words of self loathing filled your ears as you searched up the name, but it was the only one that you could think of in your blind emptiness.

If only things could go back to the way that they were.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

The walk to his apartment was cold, freezing even. You had worn the shoes that you had been scolded for, and the coat that provided you with barely any warmth. You knew the way to his apartment well--it was almost muscle memory by now. Streetlights passed you overhead, and finally the snow that was promised started to drift from the heavens and before you.

Your hands cracked with the cold when you pushed the button to his intercom, and he buzzed you in without saying a word. You showed yourself up the staircase with empty sounding footsteps echoing against the walls. Your eyes had welled with tears once you reached his floor, but you blinked them away harshly. It was a futile attempt considering that he would see how red your eyes had become.

His door was cracked with old paint, and the number had been scratched off with age. You knocked one time, no more than that. Somewhere a tiny voice had hoped that he wouldn’t hear the knock at all, and figure that you hadn’t even come up, and that you could quietly slip back away.

But he didn’t. He must’ve been waiting.

He too looked to be a mess: his cheeks and eyes had puffed up and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. He wore minimal clothing that hung loosely on his frame.

“--Jisung--”

Before you could say any more, he had leapt into you, and wrapped his arms around you so tightly that he could’ve rid you of all your breath.

“Baby, thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much. I’m sorry how I acted at the concert. I just missed you so much....I missed you so much.”

114 notes · View notes

trisscar368 · 7 years

Text

13x04 watch notes

Lying Liars who Lie, Deception is a piece of reality, or General flails about Eldritch Monsters

I’ll confess that this is my second watch through. Oh well :D

Then: oh look, shifters. And clowns… *squints at Dabb* stop torturing Sam with clowns

And straight into s13 pain, all the goodbyes, focusing on Mom vs Cas vs Crowley

Huh. Just a note on the can-opener line, it’s making me think very much of Dean’s line about John: “Daddy’s blunt little instrument”, which accompanied the “good soldier” thread for Dean’s self worth and self identity.

HI CAS, TIME TO WAKE UP

Now: “How, you’re dead.” That really is the question and theme of the season… And we’re starting off on the fantastic foot of “dead things coming back is Bad.” Or… ya know… “what’s dead should stay dead.” *sticks pin in 2x04*

Oh look Dean’s behind bars… again. *sighs* “How you feeling?” Silence. Yeah… not something Dean’s going to answer right now, Sam. He’s not doing well.

Dean please stop calling Jack the antichrist… he’s antichrist 3.0 at this point, you need a better name.

Also I am really not sure if holy oil would hold him (not to mention it would not cook a pizza properly). We already know mixing natures bends and breaks the rules; the less demonic/more human a demon becomes, the less power devil’s traps have (and that may also answer a bit of the holy water question for higher level demons). Holy oil might only singe Jack, especially once he grows into his powers.

“Adventures in Babysitting: The Antichrist” *goes to stick another pin in 7x11* That’s the episode with Krissy

“Mom’s dead, Sam… the sooner you can wrap your head around that, the sooner we can all move on.” And flashbacks to the Pilot/1x21 parallel, because god, letting go of Mary isn’t something either of them has ever been good at; so having Dean being this… flat out despondent/hopeless is telling.

“So you’re saying you want to move… on from mom.” Oh look, there’s a gap.

“Right now I want to kill some dead guy’s dead wife.” Seriously going back to that pin in 2x04, because Sam was the one that pulled them to Mary’s grave then (in order to say goodbye) and Dean couldn’t process. So he ended up hunting a dead guy’s dead girlfriend.

“Give him a chance. For me.” Puppy eyes engage! Or… you know… ‘person who is still engaging with life and willing to do not destructive things is asking for you to participate in normalacy.’

*Insert incoherent screeching here* YEAH SURE HAVE SAM COME THROUGH THE DOOR AT THE OTHER END OF THE HALL BECAUSE THAT MAKES A PERFECTLY LOGICAL ROUTE FROM THE LIBRARY, WHERE THE HELL DID SAM GO FIRST THE BATHROOM? Oh god actually please let it be the bathroom I haven’t had a directional queue for that ever…

“You kill monsters cause you’re the good guys.” Right… and who was having an existential crisis about being evil/a monster a few days ago? Bingo, the kid hiding in his room. How did both of you manage to screw that pooch?

Yes moose, talk about the motives here so the kid feels less used.

“You want to save her.” That motive Jack gets… also hello saving people/hunting things.

Healthy communication… who died what universe are we in, WINCHESTER USING HIS WORDS AHHHH

“Dean can’t even look at me. He wants to kill me.” And this is where part of the fandom communication gap has been taking place; because Dean cannot physically hurt Jack, but that doesn’t alter the intent or the perception of danger/harm. We have knowledge of scope; angel blade no work, archangel blade is only iffy. Who wants to put any money on either Winchester explaining Angel Blade powers vs Kurdish knife powers vs anything else powers. Jack doesn’t know what can hurt him and what can’t; and yeah he can grasp on one hand that nothing seems to work, and that the Winchesters have said they don’t have the ability, but on the other hand he just doesn’t *know*.

I’m not sure if it’s effort that Dean respects? I mean… *sighs* this all falls back under doing/being, and at least Sam gets that now to the point where he can express it to Jack. “Here have a cheat sheet to my brother, I can’t do anything about the static right now.”

Oh someone protect him… he thinks lying is bad and he’s stuck with the Winchesters. Though… stepping back for a moment: we have on-screen proof of Jack lying, at least lying by omission, so now begins the question of how much of all of this is an act.

Dad = orders. Yes Dean, that’s a bad thing. If you had your head on straight you’d remember that. And no Sam… John’s drill sergeant role didn’t work with either of you, Dean just got really good at hiding it and following orders. God this hurts; of all the pieces of the performing!Dean facade to keep up, this isn’t the one I’d want. I mean… it makes sense, Dean had this massively vulnerable moment at the end of s12 where he confronted his childhood and how Mary’s loss effected him, and he let his walls down, and then a few days later he went through multiple traumatic losses. It’s hard to blame him for starting to turn into John, but I wish he wouldn’t.

“I’m not going to be his mother, and neither are you.” Because all the moms are missing and *points back up at previous line*; Dean just let go of being Sam’s mother/parent, and he doesn’t want to get pulled back into that and I so do not blame him. But… at the same time, pls stop trying to control Sam’s actions. Both of you stop trying to control the other.

“What gets burned stays dead.” *glares at 2x04 pin* also *glares at Cas’ funeral pyre*

ha… ha… right we cut to Cas, of course we do. Because Dean really was thinking about Cas, and this is the whole core of why he doesn’t talk about Cas, because you can’t bring back something you’ve burned.

And Cas’ voice is breaking. Someone please get a blanket for the angel stat, he’s scared and needs hugs.

Is Dean’s shirt… pink? It looks pink

Okay what the heck. There are church bells ringing as Cas moves through the empty.

HELLO ELDRITCH MONSTER

“He’s not our intern” I mean… he is learning the job… on the job… and schlepping… he’s sort of the intern.

“He wants you to like him.” And back to the fandom question of “why has Jack hyperfocused on Dean?” Dean right now… he’s the critical voice. He’s the one pushing that the dark half of Jack’s nature is the real one, so if he changes his mind then maybe Jack will be okay. Also… you know, *points at Cas and profound bond**and also Dean’s the Elder in this situation, and the parent in the room*

“Snake oil for the mind.” “Or how healthy people deal.” Since when have either of you ever dealt in a healthy fashion. It would be nice if you could actually achieve some catharsis yourself, but honestly… still too close.

“Doctor Hannibal” you know… I was so terrified of accidentally cracking “doctor lector” jokes my first appointment with my therapist, but it was sort of a defensive reaction for me? Because entering into that position is so vulnerable, and Hannibal is both monster and someone who got inside of people’s barriers; so insinuating that someone is that malicious and invasive would be putting them on the defensive, which really means Dean’s not doing okay with this whole situation.

Again with debating how much is deliberate, because gosh Jack turning and saying “hello” is adorable, but he pauses and looks at the Winchesters before he does it. It’s just a split second, but it turns the whole situation into something between “I shall be cute and therefore harmless” and “how rude how could you not say hello to the nice man.”

“You lost someone” Dean - full denial Jack - full truth Sam - shade of grey, also putting Jack as family. I’m having Adam flashbacks

“You speak when I tell you to speak.” You know, Dean, for someone who’s determined to not parent the kid, you’re pulling all the Craptastic Dad lines.

I am having a really hard time not making personal asides on the whole therapy scene. *sighs* let’s just go with ‘accurate.’

Journal question - well bonus points for mentioning John AGAIN, and his journal AGAIN (it’s been two episodes…); also Dean had journals back in s1/2 and i think again in 7. And yeah hunter journal, but again looking at John’s journal, he had all that stuff about Missouri, which means he started right after the fire (which fits with the apocryphal journal that was published)

“He’s not processing his grief.” No, he’s not. Which isn’t unusual for traumatic loss; especially when you don’t feel safe (physically, situationally) or that someone is pushing you to grieve in their fashion. The fact that Jack’s been providing this low-key threat is probably the only thing that’s kept Dean moving and conscious.

“Death, closure — whole freaking bottle of Jack” SERIOUSLY WITH THE JACK JOKES???

God… Sam… *cries* because yeah, he never had anything to mourn when it came to Mary pre-s12, and I’ve ranted about that before, but s12 for him was all about trying to connect with this missing piece and not knowing how and then having her… not be there… And she did call Dean, and up until 12x14 she didn’t really do anything on a hunter level with Sam and even then… *dies of feels* His life has been one giant Mary shaped hole that no one had any idea how to fix, and he just started finding the edges to the puzzle and now it’s gone again. Not that Dean had it any easier last season; but the difference is between something missing and something taken away. Between never having known what that kind of relationship is like and having this ghost in your life, and having it ripped away and living with the trauma and aftermath. Oh and also on this whole long point - throughout Sam’s childhood, the silent spot was Mary. You don’t talk about Mary, you don’t talk about mom, you don’t mention her name. Right now? Don’t talk about Cas. Same kind of silence, because it hurts too much.

Please stop scaring the duckling, Dean. — the concession I will make here is that this kind of grief? You can smell it on a person. And they carry this weight on them, this rawness that… if they show it and you’re not prepared, it messes with you. It’s intense, and it’s hard enough for normal humans; Jack has no human experience, and Dean’s carrying enough grief to burry himself alive.

“You’re angry and you’re turning it on everyone around you.” See? For those of you keeping track on your handy dandy score cards, this is the anger stage of grief. Dean has been here since the funeral; no he has not moved through all of the stages. No you don’t move through all of them in any order, and it takes time. It takes weeks and months and sometimes years (though generally you want to see a shrink if it gets past the few months point…)

“I know what you are, but I’m telling the truth” and we cut to Cas and MORE FRICKING CHURCH BELLS Okay I went through because a friend wanted the Cas/Qstiel conversations transcribed, and the bells are there every time. Every single time we come to the Empty and Cas, there’s bells in the background.

“I can feel you there.” Okay but I really really need to know what Qstiel feels like. Power or the absence, cold, hot, slimy…

Okay, so Qstiel looks like Cas because he’s A PROPER ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY. “I show up in my real form and you, uh, freak out, rip out your own eyes.” Viewing his true form would cause insanity; which is a fascinating parallel to Castiel’s true form burning out human eyes.

Wait it goes even further. “What are you? Why do you look like me?” Just your friendly cosmic neighborhood entity. Oh and my true form will cause insanity, so I look like you. “Who are you? Okay, what are you?” My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the lord, this is a vessel, and we need to talk.

First there was nothing, then there was something. But the way Qstiel is talking… “Nothing but Empty, and you are soaking in it.” That’s… *squint* Either nothingness has substance (ha), or we’re talking about death, or we’re talking about depression. Probably death… maybe depression, because that is what ends up beating him over the head.

Oh god I’ve been at this for five hours *help* This is why I normally liveblog.

Also noting the accent - he sounds a bit like Alastair, which I know other people noted but Alastiar’s accent is also the accent that Anthony Hopkins used for, you guessed it, Hannibal Lecter. I mean, you can draw all the demon/darkness torturer parallels you want here.

Cas is really distressed about all the dead angels. Not sure if that’s “oh God all the angels I killed are here” or an “oh God I’m SURROUNDED BY DEAD PEOPLE”. Wait. Cas has died *counts* Five times? Six? He’s been here five/six times, and he never woke up then, and the Empty never noticed that he came or that he went. So God has the power to retrieve angels from the Void, but his doing so doesn’t seem to wake up Qstiel. Or maybe that’s deliberate… (horror version, there’s five other Cas’ in the depths of the Empty, sleeping)

“Why are you awake?” I DON’T KNOW QSTIEL, IT’S LIKE THE SHOW WON’T LET ME SLEEP BECAUSE I NEED TO FINISH META RAMBLING THE EPISODE

Also you are a lying liar who lies. Which is sort of the theme of the episode; Dean’s lying that he’s fine, Sam’s lying that he’s okay and not having problems holding the family together, Jack’s lying that he isn’t scared and isn’t upset, the shifter is lying about identity, the Empty is lying about… god knows what, motive? Power? Considering he can’t obliterate Castiel, he’s not that intrinsically powerful (Beings in existence appear to stay in existence, who knew thermodynamics applied to souls after death). Though… Amara couldn’t obliterate souls either, they continued existing inside of her (which is another reason why I think all the Dark Ones are the same being, because they play by really really similar rules.)

Back to the lying liar who lies, because “I’m the one who has the power here, not Heaven, not Hell, not G-O-D himself.” But we know that angels (specifically Cas) have been resurrected before.

Mind torture, what fun! Because accessing an angel’s code to get him to tell things isn’t something the angels have done before.

I need to hug Mia. She’s a survivor — she had a physically abusive ex who did terrible things, and she holds herself responsible for what *he* did to people. She’s trying to make amends for what he did and what she feels she allowed him to do.

Also Jack’s the empath in the scene, because he’s the only one who thinks to ask if *she* was hurt. Which just makes how scared he is of Dean hurt more.

“Sam’s plans don’t always work out.” *sticks pins everywhere* Thankfully 12x23 was not explicitly Sam’s plan but ya know… he did sort of take on Generalship the episode before that…. *sighs* oh and yes, Sam planning on saving Jack/keeping Jack/protecting Jack, and that May Not Work Out either.

Oh, note on shifter powers - no shifter needs to touch to grab the face or form. The first shifter in 1x06 stalked his targets from a distance, took their form while they were gone, and blamed them for it. What touch allows (as far as I can tell) is for them to read the mind and self identity of their target.

Okay that was clearly a sob and I am an emotion STOP HURTING MY ANGEL

I am Qstiel and Qstiel is me. I like sleep, I *need* sleep. Also stupid move, Sleepy; don’t tell the stubbornest creature in existence that they’re causing you pain simply by being, because that’s a weakness that can be exploited.

Again with the “how the hell does any of this work,” Sleepy throwing Cas back to earth wouldn’t produce a new vessel, how does Nothing create Something (unless the Nothing is also the Beginning and the End and I am so going in circles on this tangent)

“Pretty smart, Dummy.” And here is the point where I stick a note to go look at the Eldritch Mirror thing I’m posting somewhere else, because that’s… 3 pages long and it’s not going in the middle of this. Long story short, HI CAS’ DEPRESSION AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS OF SELF LOATHING.

“I want to go back. Sam and Dean need me.” Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters… Okay this sequence: Sleepy: That's not part of the deal. Mnmm, no no, besides you don't want to go back. Cas: Yes I do. Sam and Dean need me. Sleepy: Ohh save it. I have... tiptoed through all your little tulips, your memories, your little feelings, yes? I know what you hate. *whispers* I know who you love. And what you fear. There is nothing for you back there. No. Here. Let me show you. *grins and grabs Cas by the sides of the head* Flashback - 8x23 loss of grace, 12x23 being stabbed, 7x02 going into the lake, 7x01 sending the souls back to purgatory and dying I know everyone and their aunt is focusing on the what/who/what pattern and screaming Destiel, but… breathe. “I want to live.” That’s what his initial statement is. I want to live, I want to go back, because they need me. Remember how everyone is flailing about how Need isn’t a good word this season anymore? LOOK, NEED ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH HERE. Someone else needing Cas isn’t good enough. Now, Sleepy gives three categories: Hate, Love, Fear, and three and a half memories (let’s be honest, there’s about ten minutes realtime between the events in 7x01 and 7x02). Why these three memories? They aren’t the only times he’s died. But they are the time’s he’s failed his friends. 7x01 and 7x02 was the culmination of almost two years of Cas trying to do anything to keep Dean out of the middle of everything. 8x23, he was trying to seal off Heaven; the Winchesters were taking care of Hell, and he wanted to solve the other half of the problem on his own. 12x23, he wanted a win, he wanted to fix the problem so that the Winchesters would be safe. They’re moments of pride, which is why 9x23 (and 10x23 and 11x23 and 4x22 and 5x22) isn’t there: because that involved sacrifice and working with friends. These three failures? They’re all on Cas. They’re done out of love for the Winchesters, they’re done out of prideful resolution that he could act alone and win, and they’re all failures and disappointments. Castiel is terrified of letting his family down. He’s terrified of not being good enough, and he hates that he isn’t good enough to do it alone.

Okay, Jack and Mia/Kelly I need to hug Jack… so much. He’s still trying to figure out whether to lie about stuff or not, which I’m throwing in the innocent category on the list of “How much is real and not.” Which, hallelujah, first positive physical contact Jack has had so far in his life, Jack gets an actual hug and someone just telling him it’s okay. Anyways: Hi mirrors. Jack is vulnerable and scared, and having the very human reaction of confusion and guilt about not feeling the way he’s ‘supposed to.’ He’s also feeling guilty about hurting people, even though he hasn’t directly, even though he didn’t mean to. Let me just point back up to Mia, because this is her. She’s mirroring Jack, or Jack’s mirroring her. A monster trying to do the right thing, because it isn’t Nature that counts in the long run, it’s Choice. Yay free will.

Dean Winchester + Shapeshifters. Someone’s probably already written the long and convoluted meta about identity and concealing identity and lack of identity, so *gestures at tumblr*. But this one is special, because the shifter doesn’t care about being Dean beyond fooling Jack and Sam. There’s no insight into Dean’s mental state, unless you want to make some convoluted connection to Inability to Let Go Being Incredibly Unhealthy longterm. (There will be no issues about Dean apparently hitting Jack with a fire iron. None. Also nobody yell about “why did this work”, it works for the same reason the taser did - nonlethal force doesn’t activate the Boogaloo juice.)

Last sequence with Sleepy (I AM GOING TO MISS THIS ELDRITCH MONSTER SO MUCH). He throws disappointment in Cas’ face, fear of failure, the belief that the Winchesters don’t think he’s good enough; and then he promises him peace, no regrets, no pain. No more failures. Just sleep. With a healthy side dose of physical violence, of course, but it’s a twisted version of the paradise Jack offered Cas. Which is the mistake. “Kiddo, save yourself.” “I’m already saved.” This is the point where I both point at flail at “Dean Winchester is saved” being the marker for getting him out of Hell, Cas longstanding faith in the Winchesters, and now Cas’ faith in Jack.

Sleepy is telling Cas to save himself the heartache, spare himself the pain of reality. Cas is saying he found his salvation in spite of that pain. In this case, immediate salvation in the form of sheer stubbornness and annoying a Cosmic being into helping; but again, this is Cas’ depression kicking the shit out of him, and it’s not enough. Sleepy’s *need* (Ha look it’s that word again) to sleep isn’t enough to keep Cas tied to this world. Cas is choosing to keep fighting. Cas is choosing a better way, to save himself.

“Welcome to the world, everybody uses everybody.” Hello themes! Everybody is using everybody, but the difference comes when it’s forced and when using them causes harm.

Jack’s powers are still instinctual. Sam got what he wanted, Jack’s powers have reactivated, but they’re still reactionary to emotional influence. “Don’t hurt my friends.”

LOOK IT’S THE GLASS. WHAT DOES IT MEAN DABB. Oh and Jack freezes when Dean comes in the room. I have no feels there.

“You did good today Jack.” Jack didn’t do what Dean wanted him to do (snap the cuffs) but he did what he could to help. He still acted positively, he did ‘good’, it just was in a different form than Dean was hoping for. But Jack tried. (Dean appreciates effort).

Sam that is not how you chair.

Dean Winchester apologizing for being a dick. Help. He’s finally using his words.

“I want to give in to the despair. I need you to keep believing for both of us.” Hello Dean vs Faith vs Sam vs Faith.

The birds are such a nice differential after all the church bells surrounding Cas in the void.

THE SUNSHINE IS STANDING IN THE SUNSHINE. Also blue tie, hellooooo angel.

This has officially taken too long to get through. Overall, I’m in love with the episode, Meredith did a really good job.

Cas is in the Empty, and he’s in the missing spaces through out the episode. The textual grief is all about Mary, about losing her, but Cas is there in all the silences. Neither Winchester will talk about him, but he’s present. Mary’s loss is the grief they can deal with; it’s textual, it’s familiar, it’s something that they can get their hands around. They’ve been here before, and it might hurt like hell, but there’s old patterns here that they can finally get some resolution on.

#spn 13x04 #spn spoilers #s13 spoilers #episode recap #meta adjacent #this too long THERE IS A REASON I DON'T DO THIS EVERY WEEK

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