am I wrong

not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)

I just skimmed through the art part of your blog and holy bajeebus your LMK art is so beautiful and the headcanon ideas you come up with are so good I wanna steal em-

Kinda wanna see like a part 2 of the little angst you did between MK and Macaque a while ago. It's so interesting and I wanna see Macaque's reaction in your art style. (You don't have to of course, it's just a suggestion [idk if i spelled that right])

Thanks for reading and hope you have a good day/night!

Hope this is to your liking ^^

Part one here

i think about the stanford fight every day. i think about sam planning exactly how he’s going to tell john and dean. separately or together? sooner or later? deciding if he can ask dean to keep it secret. i think about things going wrong, john finding the letter or dean making a joke that sam just can’t dismiss. i think about dean finding out and going straight to john. i think about things going exactly the way sam planned them, until suddenly they don’t and he’s walking out the door and never coming back. i think about every single way it could have happened and whether the start even matters when the ending is always the same

Me, aimlessly scribbling

My brain, every time without fail: hey what if you drew Catra again remember when we used to draw Catra-

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

What you mean to me

#Just a couple of Himbos with great hair

Hm. Parallels. Hmmmmmm.

Handwriting translation:

*puts them in a joint therapy session* (they each trust like 3 people, they do not wanna be here)

ill be real im starting to dislike so many reads of the ending of jaime’s last chapter in feast. not going back to essentially die with/for cersei is due to an amalgamation of factors. he is not doing it just out of spite and bitterness over the cheating, that is nearly as reductive as claiming it is this triumphant and redemptive act where he is out of the clutches of the “evil temptress”. no, it is the climax of a previous delusion that his life essentially revolved around being deconstructed entirely. the infidelity revelation onsets reflection, and while it still plays a major emotional role, it is far from being the only thing going on. it is a key disruption that makes the jc narrative fall apart fundamentally (he’s the knight/warrior, she’s the maiden. they are destined to be together. it is unconditional love that can be placed above all else because it is almost divine. she will need him. they will die together. he “cannot die while cersei lives.” “why would she need the warrior she has me.” “she will have need of him.”) jaime’s conversation with lancel, the confession to ilyn, the joanna dream right before the letter is burned, the inability to compromise with each other in asos, the clear distinct priorities, the reflection regarding what is gained and what is lost, the differences in sacrifice and devotion, the questioning of love, the visible deterioration and the cracks of the relationship becoming open wounds, and so on, are all emphasized in the text for a reason. he is not obligated to die for/with her. he doesn’t believe in this relationship anymore. just because it is not some triumphant redemptive act does not change all this and doesn’t mean that his decision should be misconstrued into him doing it simply out of spite. it marks a significant development. he is not her knight or sword anymore. the idealized knight/maiden destined lovers dynamic he used for self-affirmation collapses, gets confronted as something rooted in falsehoods, and is rejected. he is no longer her extension. it is just a milestone in jaime’s individuation.

Note: this is not a Stancy story.

“Say it,” he bites out. He’s pushing too hard, being too mean, and he doesn’t fucking care. “Say you love me.”

Nancy’s eyes slide off to the side and she—she laughs, like he’s making a joke, but he can see in the way she’s got her arms wrapped around herself that they both know it’s not a joke.

“Steve, come on,” she says.

There’s a hot, buzzing feeling in him like a hurricane.

The words peel out of him: “But…we’re soulmates.”

He’s gripping his forearm, holding it out in front of him even though he’s wearing long sleeves. It doesn’t matter. They both know whose name is written there in careful, neat cursive, like a puzzle piece slotting next to the blockier name scrawled on Nancy’s wrist. 

Nancy reaches out to push his arm down and out of the way, out of her eyeline, but she laces her fingers with his like she’s trying to calm him down. Like an apology.

“Steve,” she says. “Let’s just—can we focus on the important stuff, here?”

This is important, why don’t you think that nothing could be more important than this. Steve doesn’t say it because he’s trying to be better. He can be better for her, for Nancy, his soulmate. So he swallows it down and nods, gripping her slender fingers tight in his. 

———

It takes him a while, but he figures it out. It’s fate. It’s gotta be. It’s all a big part of their story, the one they’re gonna tell at their wedding, about the time they broke up and made bad decisions and were really unhappy. When you find your soulmate early, sometimes you have some growing up to do, he’ll say. Or maybe Robin will say it. He can’t imagine a wedding where Robin’s not his best man. Best lady?

It’s so stupid, but there was a moment, back in ‘85, when he thought maybe Robin could be his true soulmate. Like maybe there was some giant cosmic error, and the smart, funny, beautiful girl he’d been overlooking all summer was really the one he was meant to end up with after all. 

When she tells him about Tammy Thompson, it’s almost a relief. The universe isn’t wrong after all. He actually feels really sorry for Robin, because without a name on her arm, how’s she supposed to know who to pick? And with the gay thing—it’s gotta be tough even just knowing who’s an option. He doesn’t think he could handle that kind of uncertainty. 

It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to. All he’s got to do is hang on until his story and Nancy’s story bend together again, and become their story. He thinks it’s kind of romantic, even: like he’s been given this time to learn to be a better boyfriend. 

So he’s in good spirits, especially when Eddie Munson gives him a heavy look that shoots through his veins like lightning and says as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen. If even Eddie can see it after spending about five minutes around them, probably not even knowing about the soulmate thing, it must be true. 

———

Afterwards, he finds himself unexpectedly alone with Nancy in the hospital, waiting their turn to see Max and Eddie. It’s not exactly the stuff of fairytales; even though they’ve had a chance to go home and shower and get some sleep, they both have Upside Down gunk caked into their fingernails and purpling shadows under their eyes. The fluorescent lights overhead are way too bright. The flimsy plastic chairs are digging uncomfortably into his thighs. 

But he’s not gonna get a better opening than this quiet moment, with Nancy slumped against his arm, tired and lovely.

“Hey, are you—” He clears his throat and tries again. “Hey, Nancy. Did you…think about, uh, what I said? About…you know. The future?”

She goes tense.

“Yes, Steve. I did.”

Maybe something in her tone should be warning him off, but he’s on this road now, careening down the fast lane with no exits in sight. 

“And? What did you think?”

Nancy takes a deep breath, then lets it out after a second in a heavy sigh. “Steve, I…I’m with Jonathan now. You know that.”

“Yeah, but that’s—I mean, you know it’s not the same.”

“No.” She slips a thumb under the cuff of her sweatshirt and rubs it over her wrist. It looks like something she doesn’t even know she’s doing. “It’s not the same, no. It’s…Steve, it’s better. This way is better.”

He ducks down, tries to meet her eye. “Nance, I know I was kind of a shitty boyfriend, but—things are different now, right?”

Finally, she turns to him. Her back straightens, shoulders square, like she’s bracing herself. 

“Yes, things are different,” she says slowly. She reaches out to take his hand in both of hers, soothing. “This hasn’t changed for me, though. It’s not about—I just can’t be with you, Steve. Not like that. I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t say but we’re soulmates again like a child, but it lives in his throat, in the thump of his heart. Maybe she just needs more time.

Maybe not, though.

(ETA: continuation here!)

the more i think about it the more convinced i am that dust is a grimm thing

first: dust predates the moonfall.

in a setting where it’s been very firmly established that a) dust is a naturally-occurring magical crystal that grows on the surface in formations like this, and b) the present-day land of darkness is still very rich in dust, the most plausible explanation for what these luminous crystalline structures in dark’s domain are is dust. it’s identical to the stuff salem used to make monstra fly, too.

second: grimm can and DO use dust.

our most notable example here is the geist in V7, which is a) overtly shown to incorporate dust ore into its armor body, and b) not under salem’s control [ergo this is natural behavior]. and of course there’s monstra, which uses dust to fly—salem’s handiwork, yes, but it means that the magical properties of dust can be activated by grimm.

bearing that in mind, consider the ice-encrusted grimm of solitas. grimm aren’t cold-resistant by nature, but they’ve adapted to the harsh polar conditions… somehow. the mechanism of this adaptation is, in-universe, unknown; we can infer that it is probably not an evolutionary process because grimm do not breed. but: solitas is rich in dust, and—well

when hazel slams raw dust crystals into his body, it sort of—fuses with his flesh in some way; in particular note the pebbles sprouting around his right shoulder. so when the mysteriously cold-hardy grimm of solitas are encrusted with frost… you see what i’m getting at? i think their resistance to the cold derives from dust.

we have several examples of grimm (the feilong, the sphinx, the leviathan) breathing blasts of energy which happen to be identical to the energy blasts fired by cordovin’s mech’s dust canon. which might be a budget-conscious design choice, sure, but it’s also a similarity that can be explained quite simply by concluding that it looks the same because it is the same, that these grimm swallow dust and weaponize it just as people do.

third: you can’t walk ten steps in the land of darkness without hitting a massive formation of natural gravity dust. the lancers in V5 appear to be nesting around the huge gravity dust formations keeping those islands afloat over lake matsu (note the queen lancer seemingly in a dormant state before she’s woken up by the jostling). the mine in V7 is crawling with grimm who, like the queen lancer, appear to have been in a dormant state until they were roused by the geist scuffle.

so there is an apparent correlation between places where the grimm live—not hunting territories, but places where they just are—and the presence of enormous quantities of naturally-occurring dust. and we know, thanks to the lost fable, that dust grew around the pool of grimm in an era when humans did not need dust to perform magic. and of course, dark identifies magic as his gift to humanity.

(although i will point out that dust is described as an energy propellant and in modern practice people do magic with it by channeling aura through it; thus while ancient humans had innate magical ability, i don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that they might also have used dust, not as a power source but as an amplifier. that ozma topped his staff with some sort of crystal and seems to have done all his magic through the staff in contrast to salem [<- presumably self-taught] slinging magic around with her hands is interesting.)

so…

if dust existed before the moonfall, the questions of where it came from, what it is, and how it came to be are moot; one of the brothers had to have created it and because it’s growing in dark’s domain we can be certain that it’s his thing, especially because he’s also the brother who gave ancient humans innate magic and dust is thus obviously in his wheelhouse.

but: why?

ancient humans didn’t need dust, because he gave them magic.

what happens to the grimm in a world where every single person has magical power akin to the maidens? they die. humans, not grimm, were the dominant form of life on the planet during this era, because humans had magic. “kings and their kingdoms were plentiful.” in a contest between a human with maiden-level magical power and an ordinary grimm, the grimm is going to lose. we’ve seen cinder blast through four layers of reinforced steel with a single fireball effortlessly! you can kill a grimm by hitting it really hard with a stick!!

the grimm were, at least according to myth, dark’s first creations and he cared for them. in ‘the two brothers’ his staunch refusal to eliminate the grimm is the central point of contention that brings him into conflict with his brother, and the history laid out in V9 supports that characterization; he refused to unmake the jabberwalker, too. it follows that dark would have wanted the grimm to have a fighting chance against ancient, magically-powerful humans.

hence, dust.

it wouldn’t give the grimm an overpowering advantage, but it would be enough to balance the scales… and of course any grimm who did survive long enough to grow to massive size, empowered by dust, would pose a serious threat to ancient humans, magic or no. it grows in grimm territory because it was meant for them, originally.

dust is a grimm thing that humans adopted.

we need to stop characterizing misako as a terrible mom and instead hate dr julien for deadbeat and leaving echo in that damn lighthouse

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

Ivan the Terrible and His Son, 1885

Ilya Repin (b. 1844)

Hi! How do you feel about the Crashtown mini-arc?

Ahhh, Crashtown. Honestly, I’m extremely in two minds about the arc. See, here’s the thing. When I watch it, it’s a great deal of fun. It’s a very self-contained little story that has all the necessary setup and payoff built into itself, and the cowboy aesthetics in Crashtown’s unique setting, while technically still being part of 5Ds’ largely futuristic canon, are absolutely hilarious. Not to speak of the excellent dramatics, what with Kiryu being in his depressed bitch era and needing the Power of Friendship to remember why it’s nice to be alive. So, in isolation, I find Crashtown very funny and its self-contained story compelling.

However, sometimes, I get a little frustrated knowing how many episodes this arc takes up, because where the larger narrative is concerned, Crashtown accomplishes… Well, nothing, unfortunately. It doesn’t interact with the main plot in any way, doesn’t develop Yusei’s character in a particular way (because we already knew he’s a special kind of loyal-as-a-dog-devoted when it comes to Kiryu; if anything, Crashtown only shows us that he’s also a little more gullible than usual when Kiryu gets brought up), and while it does give Kiryu meaningful character progression, he’s sadly never relevant again after this point in the show (literally the only two times he shows up after this point is during the flashback of everyone cheering Yusei on during his duel with Z-ONE and in the epilogue as he loses to Jack). Worse yet, the whole arc begs the question of why only Kiryu and no other dark signer got this kind of tying-up-loose-ends treatment. (The answer, I believe, is that he’s specifically the dark signer who has the strongest ties to Yusei in particular, which awards him special treatment. That does nothing to justify why Carly, who I’d go as far as saying is at least equally important to Jack as Kiryu is to Yusei, doesn’t get anything like this, though, and is instead sidelined because she has amnesia. You know. Amnesia. Everyone’s favourite trope. Which Kiryu, curiously, also doesn’t have.) And considering how often I lament about the things I wish 5Ds canon had spent more time on, I don’t think it comes as a surprise that it leaves a slight, bitter aftertaste in my mouth that an arc like Crashtown that adds nothing to the larger plot or any character other than Kiryu gets so many episodes while many things I wish the show had addressed don’t get a single one.

So, Crashtown’s kind of a mixed bag for me. I think the best way to sum it up would be this: If you handed me the reins for a full 5Ds rewrite, one of two things would happen. Either the show would gain another twenty or so episodes where I’d try to give all the other dark signers similar treatment as Kiryu in Crashtown, developing both them and the main cast members they interact with more (and also try to make them at least show up one more time before the Ark Cradle arc, even if only to cheer Team 5Ds on during the WRGP), or Crashtown would be left on the cutting room floor entirely, because if the only way to improve the main cast and plot were to find time for all the necessary adjustments within the exact same episode count we already have, Crashtown (and all of the pre-WRGP arc’s pure filler episodes) would be the first thing to go.

Don’t get me wrong, the yeehaw arc has excellent aesthetics, excellent dramatics, and is great fun every time I rewatch it, so I don’t fault anyone for loving it to bits, I absolutely get it. My inner overanalyst/canon rewriter just can’t unsee how many episodes it took up that were desperately needed for other stuff sometimes.