It's gonna be my BIRTHDAY soon and I really need to rustle up some CASH so if u feel like this blog has made your life MEASURABLY WORSE (or just weirder) over the past year, perchance consider tipping your town fool? THANK YOU (kofi / paypal)

To the orcs currently attempting to seduce away my circus’s Strongman.

I see you, and I acknowledge that yes, indeed, he may be happier traveling with you, exercising as he likes, perhaps even doing calisthenics! Or cardio, if he so wishes!

But I maintain that he will never, ever, reach his full potential as a Strongman under anyone but me! My expertise in raising the breed is unparalleled and he is a prime example of the kind of stock I raise.

Additionally… he’s just mine.

So, it is with a heavy heart (from the mana I am always holding) that I must tell you I have released seventy three ravenous Rodeo Clowns in your general direction.

May this letter find you rather torn and chewed,

Clown Wizard Supreme

hello clown mutual, could you please provide me with information about this here clown I just adopted? I can tell he's a porcelain and maybe part jester, but other than that, I'm stumped

My my! A stunning clown, with such a strikingly unique pattern!

It seems this individual may actually be part porcelain and part plush clown, based on the variation I can see in his skin texture. Although not impossible, this mix is generally pretty rare! I myself have never encountered one, and I don’t know much about their specific needs, so perhaps bring him to the vet for a checkup. If he is partially porcelain and partially plush, I’d wager a guess that he will need a bit of extra sugar in their diet to maintain his exoskeleton portion, and that he may be less prone to cracking or shattering because of his soft patches.

His facial markings are also very interesting, I’m not quite sure what to make of those stubble-like spots. If he was a larger clown or had a more muted color pallet I might attribute it to possible rodeo-clown ancestry, but because of his size and coloration that seems highly unlikely. I don’t know what that could be from, because aside from mutations those markings don’t occur in thorough-bred teacup patty clowns or teacup jesters, and Pierrot facial markings around the mouth tend to more closely resemble waxed mustaches.

Overall I’d say I’m most sure that he has some amount of jester ancestry, as well as party clown ancestry. (based on his coloration and the shape of his head plumage)

Good luck to you and your fascinating little companion, best wishes!

I've been thinking on it and I'm curious so I have a fun little ask game - if you were in the one piece universe, what would your dream be? As outlandish and ambitious as you like, Lord knows one piece characters have no sense of subtlety or self preservation, why should we?

For reference, I think mine would be (and I really can't think of a way to avoid the euphemisms here) to be the best rider - that is to ride every single animal as a steed, even if I had to rodeo / break in the sea beasts. (I used to help break in horses when my family used to sell them). A sub category of this dream would be to find the best steed most suited to my needs.

Suicidal, I know.

What would yours be?

What's Your Dream

(Wow, got me having a lil spiralling existential crisis over here)

Your One-Piece dream sounds spectacular!! A druidic, empathetic beast-master would be such an incredible ability to have. There are so many beautiful creatures in the OP world, what a beautiful dream to tame them all.

Mix that in with some Avatar: the last Airbender "water-bending", my goodness; what a delightful combo that would be!!

Personally, I'm a bard at heart. I have been playing music for over 20 years, and I feel like I'd have to do something with it. I'd want to serenade the on the high seas, play a single gig at Baratie, woo the warriors with my warcry, splitting bow-hairs with my violin as I do. I'd love duel Brook with The Devil Went Down to Georgia, that's for sure. Or perhaps Bach's Double Violin Concerto or Vivaldi's Winter.

But I'm more than just that. I have done so much with my life, and I'd want to use every single bit of my accumulation of knowledge and skills in some way. I've worked in so many industries: entertaining through music, horticulture (specialising in viticulture and winemaking), a teaching degree, circus skills and gymnastics, dance, judo and jujutsu, hair-dressing certificates and makeup work, disability support services, working in tourism in cellar doors - selling wine and sampling it to ensure its quality. I'm also the ever present "mum-friend," rallying the troops and fighting battles for my friends through unwavering support and omnipresent, unconditional love.

Truthfully, if given the opportunity and means: my dream would be to leave behind a legacy of joy - it wouldn't matter what I did, as long as people enjoyed the time they spent with me. Very cliché answer, I know. I am just a snail.

I absolutely know what I wouldn't want. I would not be able to survive without swimming. I love swimming. Lazy beach swimming days, snorkelling and witnessing the wonder below the waves. No devil-fruits for this snail. No way.

So, to sum up all that nonsense, I'd probably end up working for The Clown.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love: and be loved in return."

seeing that other person looking up vintage water toys on ebay made me want to do the same, and i found this guy, and he made me smile :o)

(photo cred: critters_cornerstore on ebay, idk how to link it)

idk if youve seen this yet, but i was drawn to it because i love clowns and circuses and all that jazz

from what i can tell, youre supposed to make him land on the barrel in certain ways for points which is such a neat concept to me honestly

[ photo credit- critters_cornerstore on eBay ] (I gotcha!)

Ahhh Aqua Antics, another product by Tomy and a very close relative to Waterfuls. I love these guys! Such a small and short lived line, it’s sad. I’ve only ever seen 6 distinct games from it, those being this Clown game, a Rodeo game, a Basketball game, Miss Piggy and Kermit themed games, and an ever elusive more Adult Centered game that I’ve only ever seen once (and always curse myself for not holding onto the images better every time I’m reminded of this line).

These games are also a lot bigger than you’d expect! I used to think they were around pocket sized games, but they look to actually be around 5-6 inches tall.

[photo credit- wojcnapi on eBay ]

Now remember how I said these are a very close relative to Waterfuls? I don’t say that lightly! Sure they’re both water games and made by Tomy, but there’s an even closer connection.

[ photo credit- wojcnapi on eBay, TheBearsHouseTOYS on Etsy ]

One of them is just straight up a remake of the other! The other game is Waterful Rompin Cowboy/Rodeo and I’m preeeetty sure it’s actually the older of the two, it’s a bit of a more obscure Waterful so it’s hard to verify dates but I believe it came out in the late 70’s whereas I know for certain Aqua Antics didn’t release until 1980. This wouldn’t be the only time a Waterful and another Tomy toy borrowed from or were remakes of each other, but that’s a conversation for another day. What I have to assume happened is that after Waterful Rompin Cowboy was made, they realized the idea of having to pose the figures was a pretty unique idea for a water game that had potential for more variations, and wanted to expand upon that idea without having too many of the same idea in their Waterfuls line, as every Waterfuls game is pretty distinct from one another. And from that, perhaps decided to pay tribute to the inspiration by remaking it.

Shame it didn’t take off! I think they’re pretty neat.

Pearl and Shawn!

Ahhh, interesting characters! You've picked the two clowns who are perhaps least biologically human out of my whole double armful of characters. You'll appreciate Pearl's interesting body situation, I think, and Shawn's whole wonderful rodeo thing.

Here is the premise of the world for anyone who doesn't know about it! Basically, when a human clown entertainer dies, a whole new being (whose personality and appearance is based on the human's clown persona) pops into existence as a fully-formed adult Clown. This clown has full language skills, but no memories and no possessions.

Pearl is a porcelain clown, which is a term for clowns who, for whatever reason, end up with bodies that look more like fabric dolls than organic human bodies. (The physical similarity of a clown to human bodies is variable, and long-story-short it's somewhat random.) At first glance, Pearl is beautiful. She has a porcelain face, long-lashed and snub-nosed and round and friendly-looking—and it smoothly transitions into white human skin around her eyes, which are a striking dark blue. She's only 4 feet tall and proportioned beautifully, not exactly like a child but not exactly like a person with dwarfism either. Pearl's costume is also beautiful, a yellow-pink assemblage of ruffles and diamonds with a big bow on her throat.

Unfortunately, she can't take the costume off. It's affixed to her body, which definitely has bones and muscles underneath but also consists of the fabric and porcelain. Pearl can't eat (and doesn't really need to—she barely needs any calories), but she can drink. (her favorite drink is blueberry mocha on ice!). Her physical coordination is low, and she tends to move rather jerkily. It's unsettling to see and makes handling delicate objects very difficult for her. :(((

Pearl is a weird, fun combination of quiet, sarcastic, and terribly, secretly hopeful. I described her personality in more detail in this post! Her best friend is Rudy, a charming young birthday party clown. She saw a kindred spirit in him, strange as it may seem—they both have layers to them. Pearl saw right through Rudy's outer layer of slightly-daft cheerful optimism to the scared, wary, cunning creature underneath, the same way that he saw through her reserved, quiet demeanor to the sharp, sparkling wit beneath. Pearl is far younger than she likes to seem, only three months older than Rudy himself.

Shawn Randy Mayer is described here, and I hope you'll forgive me for not adding much more about him! One fun fact about him is that he did not, in fact, have the most dramatic possible entrance into the world. That would have been if his "parent" died in the rodeo ring. His parent actually died of an infected punctured liver from being gored by a bull, so... it was maybe the second most dramatic way for his "son" clown to appear.

Shawn Randy Mayer, a whole entire centaur, appeared in a hospital room, took in the situation in about three seconds, and immediately tried to revive his parent. He had no chance, of course. A clown doesn't appear unless the parent is dead with no chance of becoming not-dead. But he tried his best.

The hospital staff were ready to welcome a clown into the world, of course, but they didn't expect a centaur and they definitely didn't expect him to try to do first aid on his father's body, so there was a lot of yelling involved in Shawn Randy Mayer's first moments.

COVID happiness

I have been very sick with COVID these past few days but I am instantly better as Sidney Powell just flipped, pled guilty and agreed to testify. Justice may be maddeningly slow, but it is grinding forward. For the first time in a long time, perhaps also because some sane Republicans are showing some spine in regards to the house speaker clown rodeo, I am starting to believe in the power of democracy and it's ability to wobble but not fall down.

I like watching devo get bullied over tumblr, it's like seeing a man in the stock, tomatoes being flung

I like to think of myself more like a court jester or perhaps a rodeo clown

“patrick is utterly swagless” and you have a caard linked in your bio my friend so perhaps you should put on your clown nose and join him at the rodeo

Howdy. Perhaps I may donate some hats and boots? I'm not too friendly with normal clowns (bad experiences), but maybe yall could have a few rodeo clowns? Here ya go.

(@cowboy-wizards)

THANK YOU !

Before I became a clowizard, I actually used to be a clownboy, which is to say, a clown cowboy! [another blog of mine is @clownboy-says-yeehonk !] I appreciate and adore the rodeo clowns. Thank you <]:•D

Everything was going smoothly: as smooth as a posseum's belly. One day Striker would own the underworld and soon all the critter would grovel at his feet. There was just one little problem. No one was taking him seriously which he found quite vexing. Listening to the qaureling former BFF's : bicker like a pair of teen skanks. Ears burning as he listened: it appeared that the loud mouth rodeo clown was having second thoughts. This is too good to be true, but stringing along that little rodeo clown might be to my benefit" Striker throught to himself. The serpent Cowboy didn't expect the Boss imp to be so close. Granted, Striker was only half listening to the lunacy of their conversation. "They were both traitors in his opinion. and his opinion was the only thing that mattered. He could sense the hurt simmering beneath the Harelquin' skin. perhaps the scarlet imp could be of use to him. He could use Blitz to lure the Goeita prince out into the open. No one double crossed Striker- and having not finished off the prince when he had the chance. He could toy with him, Blitz was already smitten by his horse. and once- fizzorolli became an inconviance he'd gladly slit the clown's neck. giving him an ear-spliting smile. All blame would land on Crimson's shoulder. The mafia could handle the rampaging Sin. While he wrangled his partner away. Striker slid his hand through the bars, as Blitzo rubbed his face into his hands. The scarred flesh felt warm under his touch. The Cowboy shot a look at the jester who was on the floor pouting. The Cowboy smirked viciously. Unexpectedly, Blitzo kisses him taking the Cowboy off guard. Striker's eyes windened in surprise. Striker gripped the back of the boss imp's head deapening the kiss. Fizzorolli's eyes windened in surprise. BLITZO! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?. The Jester cries out. The scarlet demon shot Fizz a nasty look out of the corner of his eye. "I should've taken your offer when I had the chance cowboy" "You should have sugar- perhaps you'd find yourself on the other side of this 'ere cage." " Too bad, missed oppertunites" "Hmm, perhaps there still a chance. You'll need to prove yourself to me, by killin that there clown. his voice is grating on my nerves. BLITZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING!. Don't buy into anything of what that supermicest is saying. all he is in this for is himself!. Striker turns his head as the pair continue to bicker placing two fingers upon his lips. he could still feel the warmth of Blitzo's lips against his. His tail went riggid: he could feel the electricity in the room. And knew that they'd be a powerful pair that hell has never seen. His blood began to boil, he needed this win. Those lips had tasted the lips of a royal. Striker suddenly felt disgusted with himself as he wiped his mouth off. He wouldn't be fooled again. He could use Blitz to his advantage. He had strung him along back at the harvest moon festival he could do it again. This time he'd make sure that the spirted colt was good and broken. Crimson was a fool. He'd didn't know that he was being played. He'd deliver the infuriating posseum to his father. and then he and his trophy would disappear into the badlands of Wrath. That is if Blitzo was serious about this partnership. Striker would need to test him. And what better way to test someone's loyalty then having them cut the strings holding them down. First Fizzorolli, then those miserable vermin.. and finally he'd pin lover against lover. After all Blitzo was a natorious flirt. Striker knew Blitz was trying to distract him. But the oppertunity was too good to pass up. He'd been seperating the pair soon.

Masterlist!

October 5th - Going to the County Fair

2018 Michael Myers

You trembled with excitement as the fairgrounds were getting closer as you drove - this being the second year in a row Michael agreed to go to the fair with you.

You had hoped he truly enjoyed it.

He'd never tell you that he didn't...

Not because of you, however, but he wasn't a fan of being in a crowded area.

But he'd never admit that he only went to ensure your safety.

Your own personal bodyguard, perhaps.

Although, there were a few things he liked seeing while going to the fair: the cute bunnies that could be won, the ring toss, and a rodeo if they'd have one.

Mainly because Michael wanted to see the bull ram into the rodeo clown.

He hated clowns.

"Goofy bastards."

Pushing his intrusive thoughts aside, he held out his wrist for you to put on the entry band before parking the car. "Okay, we're here!" You smiled with excitement.

"I can see that." He replied with his usual sarcasm.

You glared at him playfully, watching him smirk as he rolled his hat backward on his head.

He preferred to wear a hat 99% of the time because it made him feel like he had some sort of concealment on his head. He hated showing his face but soon came to realize that he was unrecognizable behind his mask and that nobody would recognize him.

And that he was self-conscious about him losing his hair, but he'd never admit that to you.

Just like you'd never admit that him wearing his hat backward was incredibly attractive. That, plus the short beard combo and knowing he was extremely loyal and protective of you.

100% daddy energy........ ;)

Anywho... Throughout the evening, you and Michael walked around looking at the rides that you would never go on, waiting on the crowd to die down a bit before participating in any activities such as playing the ring toss and water gun race.

He ended up winning you a teddy bear, holding it for you as you ate a piece of the funnel cake you bought, knowing that Michael will eat the entire thing without regret.

After a while, Michael stated he needed to go to the bathroom, so you stayed in the area for a few minutes before wondering where he was.

You hoped someone didn't piss him off, but that was every day, but you hoped that he didn't actually kill anyone.

Knowing that you couldn't just pick up the phone and call him, you wandered the way towards the restrooms, passing the ring toss game where you could win a live rabbit, unknowingly passing him as he was knelt down next to one of the cages, sticking his finger between the wires to pet the rabbit on its head.

Turning around to backtrace your steps, you stood and smiled at him as the only way you noticed him was the stuffed bear he won you.

"So he has a soft spot after all."

List of ways I've described my aesthetic:

Goth Rodeo Clown (a Rodeo Mime, perhaps?)

Gay Little Creature From Under The Bridge

Mii, but with more shirt stains

tacky old woman who moonlights as your butch best friend on the Friday night and bakes a mean cookie on Sunday morning

The worst parts of a horror movie and a western had a baby and wrapped it in bubble wrap

i would like to see din djarin in chaps and a cowboy hat. perhaps even on a horse. that would please the little rodeo clown in my brain and probably also dave filoni

incorrect quotes :: open

send a ✏️ and names for some shenanigans using this

@sercphs sent: ✏️ Daekuth or perhaps Seth and Wylan

Daemon: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Malkuth: But don't you hate yourself. Daemon: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

Daemon: Where did you get that tomato soup? Malkuth: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Daemon: Malkuth, my old friend! Malkuth: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Daemon: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

Malkuth: *running towards Daemon with open arms* Daemon: *moves out of the way* Malkuth: Hey, why'd you move?! Daemon: I thought you were going to attack me. Malkuth: I was going to hug you! Daemon: Why would you hug me? Malkuth: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Wylan: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? Seth: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

Wylan: Seth has only knocked me out three time this week. Our friendship is really developing.

Wylan: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... Seth: Only as their rodeo clown.

Wylan: If I may interject... Seth: Oh, awesome, Wylan was eavesdropping.

Wylan: You might not know this, Seth, but I am a flawed person. Seth: I do know that.

I'm not gonna post the worst of the conversation but they REALLY spared no expense in establishing right out the gate that Detective Sgt. Yokoi is a real piece of shit. He's crass, and rude, sexist, inappropriate, belligerent and really just abusive, obnoxiously old fashioned, and then physically gross to boot (as seen above). And he's very much a walking cliche for modern detective dramas in how he talks and acts, where his experience as a senior officer and utility as a detective is meant to be his sole redeeming feature.

Detective Lt. Onoda on the other hand is over eager, by the books, dweeby, anxious, and what is supposed to be very unattractive both in-world and artistically(i dunno tho i think its cute, in a very homely way), but ultimately well meaning yet perhaps a little oblivious and inept as a detective.

Oh and there's Chief Tamura. Yokoi and Onoda were sent from the Tokyo Metropolitan PD HQ to address this peculiar case, but Tamura's the head of police in Soil New Town. Other than being yet another clown in this rodeo, I like his gimmick of always having snack crumbs around his mouth and getting them in the crime scene. It's such a mundane kind of fuck up and it really impresses upon you the hyper specific kind of fuckery this tiny town's police force it up to.

Anyway, the actual mystery...