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#a long time. essentially
mars-ipan · 9 months
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btw i was Really Smart in communications today :]
#marzi speaks#i asked a question that stumped our professor and answered his questions well#i didn’t take a spotlight tho. i waited a fair bit or to be called on before answering#it’s weird for me#now that i’m in college i’m realizing just how crazy competitive my high school was#and like. i /knew/ it was competitive. but it was competitive in ways i didn’t even realize#like things were presented to me in a way where if i didn’t know everything i was doomed to fail from the start. i was fucked#i mean hell i wasn’t even top third of my class. 200 something in a class of 600 something people#but now i’m in college and i’m with my peers and i’m realizing like. actually i am pretty damn smart#i never thought i was /dumb./ i just never thought of myself as exceptional either#and i definitely have my struggles. my poly sci class is so fucking boring i Do Not Like It#but i’m realizing now that i’m a lot smarter than i’ve thought i was for the past… what six years? seven? ten?#a long time. essentially#and it feels WEIRD!! god it feels weird#i’m kind of afraid to be percieved as smart??#i think it’s tied to internalized misogyny. bc when i inspect that fear#i realize i don’t want to be reduced to a (sorry for hp reference) hermoine granger type of misogynistic caricature#it’s probably tied to how my mother (very smart) was regularly dismissed or even laughed at for her smarts#idk. when a guy is smart then it’s just cool.#when a girl (or girl-adjacent thing like myself) is smart then oh it’s levioSA not levioSARRRR sorry brainiac oh the WOMAN has an OPINION#stupid WOMEN and their stupid THOUGHTS. who let them think. etc etc#so idk. i’m worried that if i let myself recognize that i’m smart#instead of letting other people make the observation for me#that i’ll be seen as stuck-up. bossy. etc.#but if i don’t acknowledge that i’m smart who the hell will?#i think that a lesson my mother has been teaching me for my whole life is starting to be fully understood in my head#i should call her and talk about it. kinda wanna just talk to my mom in general#ANYWAYS. trying to let myself be proud of my smarts again. in a healthy way this time#without worrying about failure or impressions. because i am smart. i have a lot of ideas and i ask a lot of questions#i don’t need to explain my smartness to anyone. i can just be smart in this way. maybe that’ll get easier as i practice it
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bigfatbreak · 2 months
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
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#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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toytulini · 28 days
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okay
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howlonomy · 3 months
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Yes hello, Really enjoying the Monster Clover AU stuff so far but now a question burns in my noggin... What were Ceroba's and Martlet's first impressions/responses/reactions to when they saw Clovers new look?
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[ martlet ] - [ starlo ] - [ ceroba ]
for prosperity’s sake this takes place;
-3 years after clover died
-6 months after the barrier was broken/the amalgamates were returned to their families
-a couple days after clover was revived
-kanako and clover are about 12-13!
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alfazoings · 3 months
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kurokumo ishmael and kurokumo captain heath!!!!
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spontaneously starts scribbling him Differently Every Time
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decamarks · 1 year
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“Suddenly, there was a light As brilliant as the Lord himself, Ushering me from the darkness With mighty arms that held me As I have never known”
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bioethicists · 11 months
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irt poverty/homelessness + alcohol use (esp with @butchfeygela‘s tags on my post)- people really underestimate the function that substance use/alcohol use can have for someone who is unhoused. being unhoused is boring, cold, painful, + lonely. substances can allow the 8 hours panhandling to get the $45 you need for a motel to fly by. alcohol reduces your perception of the cold + can knock you out whben you can’t sleep. substances can help you cope with the physical deterioration from malnutrition, constant stress, + sleeping outside. substances can provide social connection with others who you would otherwise not enjoy or help you cope with being alone.
not only that but- many unhoused people are stuck in a seemingly inescapable position. the pathway to financial stability or even housing is difficult or even impossible. in the wake of that hopelessness, the downsides of substance use start to seem insignificant. arrest? you’re getting arrested anyway for sleeping outside, peeing outside, standing in the wrong place, etc. physical danger? you’re already beat the fuck up, anyway, right? loss of relationships? you’ve lost most people already. inability to keep a job? nobody will hire you + you can’t stay employed, anyway, because you have no car + no shower.
perhaps for you or me, the cons of heroin use or binge drinking nightly greatly outweigh the pros. that isn’t the case for everyone. if we are really serious about ending overdose/addiction, we need to start looking at giving people lives worth recovering into instead of shaming them for their own hopelessness.
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jiiyawns · 2 years
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smth i drew when the new sonic prime trailer released ... but i couldn't figure out how to color it
and i still didn't. so here's the lineart by itself bc i like it more
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moongothic · 2 months
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Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)
God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.
Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend
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The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode
And so like
Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)
So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also
It would be objectively funny as hell
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olasketches · 1 month
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sukuna did not tell kenjaku about his plan to change vessels, which makes me wonder… what makes us and maybe even sukuna think that kenjaku told him everything. another yapping session incoming cause I need to get this out of me. we don’t know the terms of their agreement but sukuna is certain that yuuji’s only purpose was to seal his fingers and mind you that says the man who throughout the whole manga kept underestimating him and saying how boring he is, which creates a perfect blind spot. sukuna is so uninterested in yuuji, probably as a way to keep some sort of distance between himself and yuuji, that it is very much likely that he’s not aware of the actual plans kenjaku had towards yuuji. why was it important for them to keep sukuna caged? wa yuuji always supposed to have an engraved curse technique(s)?? why is he slowly turning into another sukuna?? and I’m not saying it to take away yuuji’s agency as a character but to point to the fact that the lines between the curse known as ryomen sukuna and yuuji are beginning to become more and more blurry with each new chapter. sukuna referred to himself as the fallen angel/disgraced one, but who was he BEFORE that?? and what’s the actual reason behind angel wanting to kill him? there’s so much we don’t know and honestly… as intelligent as he is I don’t think sukuna truly knows what is going on either… but I might be totally reaching and I still don’t why I keep brainstorming all of it cause gege is just too damn unpredictable so I really don’t know what’s relevant here or what’s not but there are just so many unknowns in this story that I just can’t help but wonder… (more in the tags)
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suntails · 1 month
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
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lildoodlenoodle · 10 months
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One of the biggest problems and red flags about the whole spider society was having kids be workers for them.
Now I’m not saying the spider society shouldn’t have contacted the younger spiders or even work with them! But the spider society should function as more of a support group and emergency backup type situation for the younger spiders.
There was no reason for Margo, someone who is implied to be like Miles’s age, someone who can’t even drive, to be running an integral part of the society and how they are keeping the multiverse intact. She not only ran it, but if it malfunctioned it was clearly her job and responsibility to fix. When the machine ‘breaks’ and functions while, as far as she’s aware, no one’s in it she’s panicking, even though there would be no real consequences if she just let it run. There was no reason for Gwen, a 16 yr old, to be running around the multiverse alone going on high stakes solo missions(and that’s not even getting into the whole homeless thing). We don’t know yet what Peni’s role is but we have to assume it’s similar in nature and responsibility. That is insane.
Pav is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with the society, because he’s not really in it! He doesn’t know the indoctrination canon events yet, we don’t see him going off on solo missions, he gets backup when he needs it and that seems to be it.
For the kids that do know the canon events theory(Margo, Peni, Gwen) I cannot even imagine what must be going through their heads. Who else from their worlds has to die. For Peni, is her last living relative, Uncle Ben, the next person for her to lose? If Gwen returns to her world how long will it take for her dad to die? What other traumatic events have Miguel’s theory dictated will happen to them next? What horrors do they know will happen to them and their loved ones that they aren’t allowed to prevent? Is Gwen destined to die young because she’s the only Gwen we see Alive? And Gwen and Hobie, Pav’s friends, do they know that Gayatri and her dad are both destined to die? Like the mental gymnastics these kids have to go through and the mental torment that goes with it.
And then on top of it, to threaten said teenagers, who you have working for you, with being kicked out and being isolated from the people that are like and understand them is really fucked up. Especially if the threatening is because they are acting like teenagers and not soldiers. If Gwen is sent home, not only is her life put in danger but so is her father’s and they all know it. That is some culty level gaslighting and even grooming. Margo and Peni both are implied to not have good home lives either. The more you think about it the worse it gets honestly, because what goes along with this is we never see any of the adult spiders say anything about this.
Miguel and Jess both saw Gwen’s father, a grown man, try to arrest his daughter with a gun pointed at her. They save her, Jess takes her under wing(and whether they meant to or not) effectively become her guardians. They monitor her with what could essentially be a baby monitor/tracking device. They can control where she can and cannot go. And while understandable to not give a teen access to the entire multiverse they were very much giving her the adult responsibilities of protecting it.
When she does screw up, because she is a child who wants to see her friend, Jessica very flippantly references Miguel sending her home, making me think this is not the first time they’ve had that conversation, which is so worrying. And then they eventually do. They knew exactly what situation they were sending her into and not only did the entire society watch Miguel do it with little protest but didn’t even mention it afterwards. Even if Gwen was a threat they had other options, rather than sending her home, where she could still be safe.
There’s also a lot to say about how Jessica, Peter B., and Miguel handled Miles that speaks more to this pattern of behavior but that’s another post.
In the comics the ‘Spider Society’ got away with this sort of stuff, even having an actual infant just chilling with the group, because the spiders were being hunted. They couldn’t go home or leave the safe space dimension because it wasn’t safe. In the movie that is very much not the case. WHY WERE TEENAGERS WORKING FOR THE SOCIETY!?
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r0semultiverse · 3 months
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THERES SO MANY NUMBER & LETTER CODES THAT PROBABLY MEAN SOMETHING, MY ADHD ASS CANNOT! 😫
This shit has to be as hard to remember as the retail codes at grocery stores. 🤯
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tippenfunkaport · 5 months
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something something, visited by three spirits that push you to reinvent yourself
and meanwhile, the three mother-type figures in Adora's life were all key to her to figuring out what she really wanted and who she wanted to be but literally...
Light Hope "died" trying to right a wrong from the PAST
Queen Angella died trying to preserve Adora's PRESENT
and Shadow Weaver died to give Adora a chance at a FUTURE
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starrysharks · 4 months
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okkkk i watched the first episode of hazbin hotel and i think it has a lot of missed potential. there are actually quite a few goods - the animation for the most part is nice, the voice acting is great (especially keith david as the cat thing), and the songs are alright. the show brings up interesting concepts but the main problem is that it doesn't really execute them in an interesting way, mainly due to the way the characters are written.
every character - with the exception of alastor, charlie and nifty - has a generally "vulgar" personality, ranging from that being a primary trait to basically the entire character (based on the 1st episode alone). they're all written in a similar way, which means that character interactions are very basic funnyman/straightman endeavors with little variation - angel dust says something dumb and vaggie chatises him, or angel dust says something sexual and husk chatises him. that formula basically extends to most if not all of their interactions so far, so the dynamics between characters are similar and frankly uninteresting. angel dust especially (i really don't like him sorry) is so far just a vessel for sexual jokes, and we don't really get anything from his character other than "he's horny", which isn't really good for your first episode imo. the language the characters use is also similar so there's little humorous contrast. there aren't really "jokes" with setup and payoff - just characters saying and doing out of pocket things.
the worst example of this is with the angels, particularly adam. i think that the angel with him (lute i think?) would actually serve his purpose in the story better based on her character - somewhat regal, orderly, but most importantly uses a completely different language to the devils. this sort of contrast would've been way more interesting imo - have the angels be holier-than-thou (quite literally), talk charlie down, make her feel less than or even like a "sinner" - which would be cool because as far as i can tell charlie tries her best to be as good as possible! that would be a unique way to bring out her angry side but instead adam just acts like any other devil, even worse than them, and maybe that's on purpose but i don't think it's very cool...... it would be fun to play off the watcher's preconceived notions and ideas on angels and devils after establishing how charlie deviates from the norm, maybe even having the angels be like "wow you lashing out proves devils are all evil", but now i'm rambling...
other than that, i think the story introduces its main plot points too early. give the concept some time to breathe and establish itself before dropping the bombshell that the extermination is to be 6 months early, damn,,, but i'd have to watch every episode to give an opinion on how they handle that, which i likely won't do. i have some small nitpicks, like the weird lack of buildup to most songs and the kind of weird pacing, but in short, based on the first episode, it's just a compilation of missed opportunities and edgy swear-humor offset by some genuinely interesting and good ideas. this isn't a review of the entire series, by the way - just a "initial thoughts" thing. if you really are interested in the concept, i'd say give it a chance, but please be aware of the creator's actions before you support it monetarily. (i watched the first episode through other means as i genuinely dislike the creator due to her bigotry, of which others have described more eloquently than me - it's very easy to find "call-outs" and critiques of her actions). 4/10, where is verblase :/
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