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nolita-fairytale · 8 months

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don't you worry, there's still time | chef luca x fem!reader, feat. marcus brooks

summary: after losing his mother, marcus searches for joy and stillness in copenhagen. you and luca, who are more than happy to host, decide to take a big next step in your relationship. a oneshot from the world of 'burn your life down.'

warnings: fluff, light angst, grief, death, light smut, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, off-canon connection to the storyline of the bear.

word count: 5.8k

listen to: the playlist

a/n: wow, i missed this world! who is ready for the reveal of chef's restaurant name?! while i don't think i have the bandwidth to write another full series (nor a linear story to tell) i'm thinking of creating a second part to 'burn your life down' where we just get to drop in and see what they're up to. thoughts??

chef luca masterlist | full masterlist

After a tumultuous holiday season, it doesn’t take long for Sydney to realize that her friend is in need of a little help. A reprieve, she so kindly explained to both Marcus and Carmy when she’d proposed the idea.

It was Sydney this time, who called Luca, knowing that she and Carmy would have to find something to do with Marcus. It wasn’t fair – that he’d lost his mom just before Thanksgiving – and they both agreed that Marcus needed to get out of dodge. Quick to act, Carmy set up a few stages in NYC for a week or so, which, while seemed to inspire Marcus, seemed to only plunge him further into a slump come Christmas. “I don’t know. I think we gotta send him on some kinda… eat, pray, love trip. The guy can only sulk on my couch for so long before I consider jumping out of the window,” Sydney says, her attempt to lighten the mood with humor still genuine. “It’s getting sad, Carm. Like… real fuckin’ sad.”

“You’re right. Uh… what about Copenhagen?” Carmy pitches with a shrug, because he knows what all consuming grief feels like.

“Again?” she asks, uncertain of whether it’s the best choice that they could make.

“Yeah,” Carmy shrugs in response. “Think he got a lot of it last time. Could be good for him to go back to somewhere familiar… work with Luca again. You don’t think it’s a-?”

“No I do! I just-,” Sydney hesitates, though she knows her business partner makes a good point. “Familiarity will be good for him. To be around people he can trust.”

“You want me to uh-,” Carmy begins to offer, figuring he’ll make the call.

“Probably best if I explain the situation. Just ‘cause, you know, I know more of what’s going on… just send me his info and I’ll call later,” Sydney interjects.

Carmy agrees with a curt nod before adding in:

“Uh… okay yeah. Yeah.”

You get plenty of time to prepare for Marcus’ visit, performing all kinds of fancy footwork to arrange a proper visit – a week’s worth of time spent staging and living in Copenhagen. When Luca finds out that the prolific houseboat, a chef retreat of sorts that’s always been an option for lodging, is booked for the week and a half that Marcus plans on visiting, you offer up your place without hesitation.

The arrangement goes as follows: while Marcus stays at yours at no cost, you’ll stay with Luca for the duration of the time.

This is how you find yourself at the massive Ikea on Dybbølsbro on a Saturday morning with Luca, in search of a set of fresh bed linens intended for guests.

“I really should host more. And Astrid said she and Lina were planning a trip out here so… why not kill two birds with one stone?” you’d reasoned to your boyfriend, making a strong case for why you and Luca should make this little shopping trip.

“What do you think of the blue?” Luca asks you, as you run your hand over a set of the display sheets, checking for softness.

“Don’t know if the blue is what I’m going for. I was thinking of something warmer. Maybe a yellow or… I don’t know. I’ve kind of been into that trendy rust color as of late,” you reply with a shrug, moving onto the warmer colors.

Luca chuckles and with a small shake of his head, he clarifies his previous questions with:

“No, I meant for me.”

“What do you mean?” you ask him curiously, his comment pulling all of your focus as you search his face for answers. “You just got new bedding.”

And expensive ones too.

But as your eyes follow his gaze, you realize that he’s not talking about sheets, focused on the XL Twin-sized duvets just above where the sheets messily fall along the shelf.

“I was thinking…” Luca trails off, checking in with you before he continues, with “... maybe it’s time I get two duvets… you know… for us.” He takes a beat, and a step towards you, and you know you’ll never stand a chance against his boyish charm as one side of his mouth turns up into a smile.

You’re no stranger to the Scandinavian duvet method – two twin duvets for one king sized bed – but it sounds like Luca’s suggestion is about way more than buying an extra duvet on this trip.

“I want you to feel at home… at my place."

“I do,” you reply, almost instantly, a warmth spreading through your belly as you take a step towards him.

“But I mean really… feel like it’s your home. Because it is. It could be. You know… if you want it to be,” Luca continues, this time with more insistence, a look of hopefulness in his deep blue eyes.

“Are you… are you asking me to move in with you?” you manage to get out, your heart skipping a beat.

“Why not? We could use this week to try it out,” he suggests so casually that you practically have to do a double take. “See how it goes while Marcus stays at your place?”

“Yeah I-... that sounds like a good plan, yeah,” you stammer out, the grin on your face undeniable as you nod enthusiastically in the middle of a goddamn furniture store.

“Besides,” Luca says, clearing his throat as his tone changes to one that’s much more playful. “You’re an absolute blanket hog and a repeat offender at that.” Luca winks your way as you roll your eyes with a laugh in response. “This could prevent some of our silly little quarrels, don’t you think, love?”

“Uh huh,” you sound, your face skeptical as you look his way again. “Preventative measures. Sure, babe.”

Luca chuckles before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, right then and there, in the Ikea bed linen section, the place you’ll now forever think of as the place your boyfriend asked you to move in with him.

Connection

When Marcus arrives in Copenhagen, you’ve arranged your home with the most comfort in mind, having already packed a week’s worth of things and left for Luca’s. You can only imagine what he must be going through, deciding that something like that – losing your mother – though inevitable, is your goddamn worst nightmare.

“Marcus,

Enjoy your stay and please reach out if you need anything. I can’t wait to meet you!”

…is the note that you leave him, along with a few morning pastries you picked up from your favorite baggeri across the street, and your number scribbled down at the bottom of the notepad.

As Marcus arrives, his eyes drawn immediately to your note and gift, Marcus smiles to himself, noticing that you left a very nice looking bottle of wine on the counter as well. He’s moved by your generosity, considering you’ve never met, and the fact that you’re willing to take so much care, extend this much kindness to a stranger, causes a wave of softness to wash over him.

Maybe, just maybe, he can find softness again – the last few months riddled with pain, grief, and numbness to get through the days.

While he came here to work, encouraged by his friends that a change of scenery may do his broken heart some good, it’s the first time Marcus has had a chance to be still. His feelings of grief sit heavier here and it catches him off guard, uncertain that he’s quite ready to sit with them yet. He pushes aside the thought, focusing on exploring your home and unpacking his bags. Marcus knows how to stay busy – he’s become an expert at it by now – reminding himself that he’s got work at 5 am sharp tomorrow.

“A little too much, chef. Take it down by about 15 grams,” Luca directs, his voice even and sure as he inspects the balls of dough that Marcus currently shapes.

“Yes, chef,” Marcus nods in understanding, plopping the ball of dough back on the scale to adjust the measurement.

The two of them work like this for the rest of the morning, Luca treading carefully while keeping things professional, while Marcus buries himself in the work – something that feels good, safe, right.

He’s missed this. While Marcus has one chef he works with directly at the restaurant, he’s the expert – the head patissier. He misses being surrounded by excellence, getting to be a student of someone who is just as driven, if not more, and inspired. It’s good, quiet, calm, yet there’s a focus and intensity in Luca’s kitchen that feels like a breath of fresh air.

His stage trip to New York has been more of a mess than beneficial. Maybe it had been the chaos of the city, or the chaos of the chefs he was working with. Maybe it was the fact that Marcus, though hungry for a distraction, hadn’t quite been ready to walk directly into the line of fire yet.

As Marcus’ practiced hands move with the dough, there’s a newfound confidence in the way that he works that's not lost on Luca. Luca watches his friend carefully, pride swelling in his chest as his mentee makes the adjustment with ease and diligence.

“Can I join you?” Luca asks, gesturing towards Marcus' workstation.

“‘Course, chef,” Marcus replies, his response short yet reverent.

As Luca joins him, finding a space to the right of Marcus, he busies his hands with rolling each perfectly measured ball of dough into mini boules, ready to proof. The two of them work quietly, side by side, the air between them heavy with words unsaid. He can feel it – the weight that lays so heavily on Marcus' heart – but Luca doesn’t want to bring it up, uninterested in forcing the conversation. Especially about something so painful, something he knows that Marcus has barely begun working through.

“Thanks, again. For uh… you know… letting me come work,” Marcus begins, momentarily checking in with Luca to gauge a reaction.

“‘Course,” Luca replies, his answer instantaneous. “You’re welcome here any time, mate.”

“Yeah?” Marcus asks, stealing a glance in Luca’s direction.

“Yeah,” Luca responds with a certain nod.

“And uh… shit. I can’t thank your girlfriend enough for letting me crash at her place,” Marcus adds, as he works through his discomfort and overwhelm from the wave of feelings that begin to bubble up in his chest.

“You can thank her yourself on Saturday,” Luca brings up, excited over the fact that Marcus will not only be meeting his girlfriend, but staging at her restaurant too. “She’s really looking forward to meeting you.”

Marcus nods slowly, his hands the only steady thing about him as he continues to focus on his work.

“I just mean-, well, she didn’t have to-. ‘S not like either of you owed it to me or anything and I-. You guys just really came through…” Marcus trails off, wanting to make his gratitude clear. It means more to him that he can articulate so instead he settles for, “So thank you. Again.”

Luca shrugs with an aplomb about him as he returns with, “We got you, mate.” He pauses before continuing, fully aware that Marcus isn’t quite comfortable with the feelings that have presented themself in this moment. “And the way I see it, I wouldn’t have met her if it weren’t for you – for our conversation the last time you were here – so we really do owe you for it.”

This time Luca makes an effort to check in with Marcus, gauging his emotional capacity as he concludes with:

“But that’s not what any of this is about: debts, who owes who what. We were both more than happy to host you. That’s what mates are for.”

It’s not till the end of the next shift that it hits him, and Marcus finds himself sitting outside of the restaurant on a bench across the street. He’s not sure whether it’s the jet lag or the exhaustion of the 5 am start time in another time zone, but it hits him all at once, like a ton of bricks. Suddenly consumed with the feelings that he’s been trying his best to avoid, all he can do is pause, completely caught off guard by the strength of them.

Quietly, Luca joins him, having spotted him on his way home, rerouting himself in Marcus’ direction instead.

All he can think of are the words you’ve asked him, and he you, time and time again – the ones that cut right to the core of you each and every time – that show you how much he cares.

“How’s your heart?” Luca asks Marcus, after a few minutes of sitting on the bench together in silence.

And how is his heart?

He’s not sure how to answer, considering it’s been a while since he’s really had a chance to check in, the crippling reality of this great loss is too much to bear alone.

His heart is broken, shattered into an infinite amount of pieces.

He, and his heart will never be the same again and he doesn’t know where or how he’ll ever put it back together.

His heart is… lost, in desperate need of finding a soft place to land.

Marcus takes a while to answer, racking his brain for any semblance of a cohesive answer.

He waits. And then he waits.

Until finally, he can answer.

“I uh… don’t know. But I’m hoping this trip will help me figure that out.”

Creativity

“do you remember the 21st night of september? love was changin' the minds of pretenders while chasin' the clouds away.” (earth, wind, and fire.)

Everything about the way you run your kitchen feels different than what he’s used to.

It’s sure as hell different from his last stage trip to New York, Marcus thinks to himself.

With Carmy and Syd, working with them, there’s a buzz of chaos that runs underneath even the most organized and efficient service. It’s something integral to what they have, gives an edge to The Bear that seems to make it hum in all the right ways. Even with Luca, who comes from fine dining and Michelin-starred restaurants, there’s a quiet and determined focus – an intensity to his work – even without the undercurrent of chaos.

But this. But you.

Your kitchen somehow teeters the line of organized chaos and reckless play so well that Marcus understands why this works – why it’s efficient.

Still, he watches as you and your staff dance – no, literally dance – around each other to the highly recognizable Earth, Wind, and Fire tune. Mathilde sings along while chopping chives for the brothy mushroom grain bowl, while, mid-phrase, manages to yell out a short command to a line cook in Danish. Out of the corner of his eye, Marcus catches Jesper working the dining room, while you finish plating two more dishes, ready to be walked out.

It’s as if you find focus in the center of all the noise, somewhere between the electric energy between you, Mathilde, and your staff, and the feel-good vibes and homeyness of the restaurant that you’ve created.

You had been more than welcoming when Marcus had walked through the doors of your restaurant, Kokuore, mere hours ago. You’d given him the tour, shown him which station he’d be working this evening, then warmly introduced him to your entire team before family meal started. Marcus can’t stop moving, too afraid to be still in fear of falling apart in the presence of how comforting you’ve been.

And this? Your kitchen. It’s all joy, connection, and artistry.

It’s not hard for him to see why Luca fell in love with you.

“Marcus, feel free to take a break,” he hears you say, as you nod towards the dining room through the open kitchen.

As Marcus follows your gesture, he notices that Luca’s arrived, remembering something about a standing Saturday date.

“You sure, chef?” Marcus asks, looking to you for approval.

“Positive,” you nod, reassuringly.

Marcus nods in return to confirm, before taking his apron off and making his way over to the dining room where Luca is exchanging a few words with Jesper.

“Wassup, chef,” he greets his mentor.

“You know, you can call me Luca,” Luca reminds him with a crooked smile. “At least when we’re off the clock.”

Marcus chuckles, “Uh… yeah alright. That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

Luca chuckles in return, before Jesper shows them to his table, mentioning something about Americans being so afraid of fluidity.

“She’s brilliant isn’t she?” Luca asks, in reference to you as his eyes catch yours from across the room.

“Nah for real. Like… mad scientist vibes,” Marcus concurs with a smile. “She can throw down for sure.” He pauses as they sit down at Luca’s table. “So you come every Saturday night, huh?”

“When I can, yeah, which is… most Saturdays,” Luca replies honestly, before beginning to list why he’s kept up this routine. “But it’s nice. Keeps me inspired. I get to see my girl, walk her home at night which makes me feel better.” Luca leans back in his chair this time, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I never mind helping close down at the end of the night.”

Marcus hums in response before one of the waitstaff comes to their table, with a glass of wine in hand, on the house. They chat for a little longer before Marcus returns to the kitchen, his excitement for what you’re doing here filling him to the brim.

As dinner service comes to an end, Marcus can’t help but notice the chemistry and how unique it is as you all work together in perfect harmony. There’s a warmth to it, something different, and he begins to understand why the name of the restaurant comes from the word, heart.

Luca is quick to get up from his table, quickly finishing his glass of wine as he offers to help close down. The music volume goes from underscoring the buzz of a busy night of service, to the main attraction, as a motown throwbacks playlist begins to blare from the speakers. You all work quickly and efficiently, eager to close down, get home, and begin your weekends, but it’s when an old Otis Redding track that Luca decides to put a pause on the progress.

“Dance with me, my love,” he says, offering his hand out to you as a huge gesture that earns a few looks and giggles from some of your staff.

“Luca,” you begin to protest, looking around.

“You can take three minutes,” he offers, exchanging a look with you this time.

You nod, taking his hand as you agree with, “Okay.”

And as Luca wraps you up in his arms, engaging you in a slow dance to Otis Redding’s “That’s How Strong my Love is,” you chuckle, relaxing into him.

“Oh, get a room, you two!” Jesper calls out after you, teasingly.

“She pretends – always puts up a fight – as if they don’t do this every single week,” Mathilde adds, as an explanation to Marcus.

“Every week?” Marcus asks, a little surprised by both you and Luca’s willingness to pause and revel in a moment with each other, instead of just pushing through.

“Yeah. Romantics, they are,” Jesper chimes in.

Marcus smiles to himself. It’s a reminder of slowness – something he hasn’t let himself experience in a long time – and for just a moment, he lets himself settle into the feeling.

You don’t even mind that you woke up an hour before your alarm the moment you feel Luca’s arms wrapped around you, and his lips against your soft skin. The low rumble of his voice resonates across your shoulders, sending chills down your spine as you arch into his hands, his arms wrapped around you.

“I know we’re only a few days in… of our little trial,” Luca begins, the bass of his voice reverberating through your shoulder blade.

“Our living together trial?” you clarify with your ask, letting out a gasp as he nibbles on your shoulder gently.

“Yeah. Just wonderin’ where your mind’s at,” Luca murmurs, his eager hands beginning to explore underneath the oversized shirt you put on before bed last night.

“Well… I really like this,” you reply, the sound that comes out of your mouth somewhere between a giggle and a moan.

“Hmmmm?” Luca sounds, innocently.

“This… Waking up to you thing.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

Luca’s name escapes your lips as his fingers gently begin to play with your nipples, his erection hard against your back as you begin to grind your hips back against.

“And the access to round the clock sex is really a bonus,” you sigh, blissfully.

“Oh yeah?” he asks you again, a large tatted hand slipping between your legs.

“Yeah… I’d even be… interested in leaning into that part… right now,” you hiss in reply to his touch. “Considering you’re distracting me with sex.”

“Hmmmmm. ‘S not just it, love. Have I told you how grateful I am for what you’ve done for Marcus?” Luca asks, his mouth back on your neck. He presses your body against him, your back to his chest as he rocks his hips against yours.

“Luca!” you protest, unable to focus on the conversation.

“It’s your kindness. Your heart… I’m in awe of it,” he continues to praise you as the two of you begin to set a rhythm between your bodies.

It’s all heat, and soft sighs of pleasure, and foreplay.

“Well, I know a little something about what he’s going through,” you answer breathlessly. You begin to impatiently push the hem of your shirt higher so that you can give Luca more access to your body.

“That’s why I love you,” Luca murmurs into your skin, his hands all over you, his focus unbroken and your mind beginning to go blank. His hands are tearing your shirt over your head as he continues to praise you. “Your heart, the way you share it.”

“You helped me get there, baby,” you gasp, turning your head so that you can kiss your boyfriend.

Instead of answering, Luca nods knowingly, before crashing his lips into yours. His mouth on yours feels like heaven, and you can’t believe that you ever fought your feelings for him.

“Ah fuck it. Let’s do it. Let’s move in together,” you surrender to him, lost in the moment.

“Yeah?” Luca pauses, pulling away, as if almost can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Yeah. I mean it, baby,” you nod, catching his gaze, certain in the way you answer. “I wanna wake up to you every morning.”

“Me too, my love,” Luca grins, before pressing his lips to yours again. “Now will you please let me fuck you, darling?”

“Fuck yes.”

Luca spends the next hour showing you just how grateful he is for you, while you in return, spend the next hour showing him just how sure you are about this decision.

And you are sure. If mornings like this are a constant for the rest of your life, you think you’ll die a happy woman.

You’ve found a home in him, and he, you. He’s the person you want to come home to at the end of the day. He’s the man that puts a smile on your face every single time he gets on his soapbox about how Beyonce is the performer of your lifetimes, and he is unequivocally the best, most unexpected thing in your life.

Luca Davies, in almost a year of knowing him, and eight months of getting to love him, has somehow become your favorite person.

By the time you and Luca are both showered and decent-for-company, you’ve begun your mise en place for brunch, completely content with the fact that you’re running a little behind schedule (and in all fairness, the sex was worth it – it’s always worth it). The smell of bacon sizzling away on your carbon steel fry pan fills the entire apartment, and you’re glad that Luca opened a window earlier. It’s not exactly window weather yet, but the air ventilation is a must when it comes to smoked meats.

While you play catch up with your brunch plan, Luca’s busy welcoming Marcus in, pouring him a cup of coffee using the extensive ten-step pour over he’s been fixated on ever since he purchased it, while they chat here and there about what else he’s explored in Denmark.

“Been too busy working, to be honest but… I don’t know. I might wander around today… see what kind of stuff I can get into,” Marcus answers frankly with a shrug.

“Ah, mate. We just had a walk at the Frederiksberg Gardens. Definitely something I’d recommend checking out,” Luca suggests, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he mentions it.

Luca continues moving through his list of recommendations, Marcus chiming in with places and things he did the last time he was here, excited to spend a few days exploring the city instead of just working.

“Wanderin’ around. I dunno. There’s something about it. ‘S good for the spirit, you know?” Luca concludes.

“Yeah,” Marcus nods in agreement, before turning his attention over to the French toast you’re working on. “Okay, I see you. What is that? Mascarpone?”

“Yeah, good eye. It’s just something new I’m working on: a mascarpone stuffed french toast. We’re actually talking about extending our hours… maybe doing weekend brunch,” you answer thoroughly, as you dip the stuffed pieces of bread into their egg batter, pre-cook.

“For real? That’s sick,” Marcus compliments, watching you carefully. “I mean… shit. You could have a whole brunch spot.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, looking up from your cutting board.

“A Brunch spot,” Marcus repeats, simply, the excitement in his eyes at the new idea, evident. “Yeah, you know. Luca could do the morning pastries. You work your magic on the rest of the menu.”

“That’s a novel idea! What do you think, my love?” Luca asks, intrigue in his voice as he searches your face for a reaction.

“I-,” you begin, looking from Luca to Marcus, then back to Luca again. “I… never thought about it like that.” You take a beat, eyeing Luca carefully. “We’ve never talked about going into business together.”

Marcus shrugs, before picking up his coffee mug, “Yo, it’s just a thought. I think you two would be unstoppable together.”

“Unstoppable, eh?” Luca asks, his eyes locked with yours.

You only hum in response, raising a quirked eyebrow in Luca’s direction before adding:

“It’s certainly one hell of an idea, Marcus.”

Kokuore

Monday afternoon, you find yourself at your restaurant with Marcus Brooks, on a day off.

“I might need a little extra help with something tomorrow. We’re closed tomorrow, but I want to get ahead on this special I’m working on. Could use the help of a pastry chef. What do you say?” you’d proposed to him, over one more espresso before he left.

To Luca’s dismay, (“ you silly Americans just can’t enjoy a day of doing nothing,” he’d teased the two of you) Marcus had given you an unwavering yes, reassuring you that he was down to learn everything he possibly could from you, especially while he was here.

And it’s true. You do need the help. But should he want someone to talk to – someone who gets it, even just a little bit – you want to offer him the space and the opportunity to do so.

“As a patissier, do you get tasked with pasta? At The Bear?” you ask Marcus, as you pleat a dumpling in hand with a speed that only comes with practice.

“Nah,” Marcus sounds, his focus on the dumpling he’s pleating too. His concentration on getting the pleats right is reverent and unbroken, even as he answers your question. “Our head chef, Carmy, he uh… he comes from an Italian American family so when we’ve done a stuffed pasta… he usually takes the lead on that.”

You nod in understanding, placing the dumpling you’ve just finished down on the full-sized sheet pan. The two of you sit across from each other, having pushed a few dining tables together as a makeshift workstation.

“Think Luca’ll take over this kinda stuff when you guys open a restaurant together?” Marcus asks, lightheartedly pushing his agenda from yesterday.

You laugh in response, your hands working quickly on yet another dumpling.

“For someone with no skin in the game, you’re really insistent on this idea,” you tease him in return.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it,” Marcus pushes right back, his tone still light.

“I…” you sigh, trailing off as you pause your work for a moment. “You know, we just said we’d move in together. That and a restaurant? Feels fast.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Like… a few hours before you came over for brunch,” you elaborate, earning a whistle from Marcus. The two of you exchange a look, and a laugh, as you pick up another dumpling wrapper that you and Marcus rolled out together earlier.

“It’s a good idea though,” you add, stealing a glance his way so that he knows that you’re serious.

“Well, when you two inevitably do open a restaurant… I want ten percent,” Marcus jokes, earning another laugh from you.

“Deal,” you agree with him.

You and Marcus work like this, exchanging a few words, the conversation light, underscored by a softer acoustic soundtrack from one of your Spotify radio stations.

“So how’d you learn to cook like this?” Marcus asks you curiously.

“Uh…” you hesitate, treading carefully as you realize this conversation could open a can of worms.

“I don’t know how much Luca’s told you about me… but I was married… before him,” you begin, cautiously. “And… well, I learned a lot of this… a lot of traditional Japanese cooking from my mother-in-law.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. These are her dumplings actually – her recipe. She passed away last Fall and… well, it was important to me to celebrate her – to celebrate her life – by creating a few dishes for her,” you continue, and it’s as if all of the air has been sucked out of the room. “We’re bringing this one back as a special this month but um… yeah. I’m… still very much grieving and… it helps me remember her. Cooking her food helps me feel close to her, you know?”

“Yeah,” Marcus sighs, his heart heavy as he exhales.

He waits a beat.

And then another, having paused his work as he watches you pleat, head down, with expert hands.

The silence between you and Marcus is full, heavy, connected by shared experience. You wait for Marcus to say something, and when he doesn’t, you decide to continue.

“This restaurant… has so much of my heart in it: it’s got my love for Italian food from growing up in my best friend’s family’s restaurant, and it’s got my love for her – for Aiko – and everything she taught me,” you begin to explain. “And lately… it’s got a fresh perspective… inspired by the love I have with Luca, I think. Well, I know. Inspired by him… how this place brought us together.”

“The name itself is… totally made up, but means a lot to me. The Japanese word for heart is, kokoro, and the Italian word for heart is, cuore. Somehow an homage to my past… and was… Prophetic in so many ways too.”

As Marcus listens, Luca’s previous question lingers in his head:

How’s your heart?

At the time he didn’t know how to answer, and after five days in Copenhagen – after five days of doing what he loves in a place that he loves – his heart is somehow so full, yet so broken all at once. He’s filled with deep sorrow and with the spark of creativity all at the same time, and he’s just not sure how to hold all of this feeling inside of him.

Marcus waits a beat, opens his mouth, then lets the words fall out.

“It’s evident. In your food,” is all he manages to say. “It’s got soul. It’s got heart. I-, it’s inspiring. That’s for sure.”

“I made a dish. For Michael,” Marcus adds, his eyes on the dumpling he works on, but the guard on his heart beginning to fall away. “He was uh… well, he was the old owner of the restaurant, called The Beef back then. Carmy took over after he died. Felt right to honor him and his life, you know? When we reopened as The Bear.”

“Food is… it’s our art, you know?” you agree. “Sometimes it’s the only way I know how to express myself and… sometimes it’s just the thing that makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

A beat.

“Maybe one day I can make one for my mom,” Marcus says, his voice stuck in his throat as he admits, “I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I think… I think I’d like to eventually.”

“Of course,” you reassure him gently. “You don’t have to be ready now. You don’t have to be ready ever. But when you are, your art will always be there.”

“Thanks,” Marcus nods solemnly.

You get up this time, realizing the sheet pan is full, and ready to be placed on the baker’s rack. As you return to the table with a new empty sheet pan, lined with parchment paper, Marcus finally asks you, his eyes soft, the heartbreak in them present.

“How’d you get through? You know. Losing her? Your mother-in-law?”

You return to your chair with a heavy sigh.

“I’ll let you know when I do,” you answer, letting up a soft chuckle. “It helps to have good people and… from what Luca’s told me, you do. But… I had to let ‘em in, let ‘em help me. Let ‘em love me. And in all honesty, most days I’m still just… taking it day by day.”

“Yeah, I-. I do. I got some really good people. Back home,” Marcus drags out slowly.

“Then that’s all that matters. Your people and your heart. The rest… you just-,” you start.

“Take day by day?” Marcus interjects, pausing to catch your eyes.

You and Marcus exchange a knowing look, the recognition of each others’ pain is met with empathy.

“Yeah. I think that's all we can do.”

By the end of your work session with Marcus, you’re ready to head home so that you can spend the rest of the day with Luca.

“What’re you gonna do with the rest of your day?” you ask Marcus, curiously.

With a sigh, and then a shrug, and a heart that feels just a little lighter, he answers with:

“Think I might wander around a bit. Someone once told me it’s good for the spirit.”

#chef luca #will poulter #luca the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear headcanon #luca x reader #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #chef luca x reader #pastry chef luca #burn your life down

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kumeramen · 1 year

Text

⊹˚. ShiSaku Fic Recommendations ٠ ࣪⭑

Another ShiSaku fic recommendations thanks to @cherrycrow4ever for the good deal of fanfics they suggested and @sumisai-blog, even it's just one rec thank you nonetheless~🙏

Note : While it's fic recs for ShiSaku, there're some contains MultiSaku pairing which can be seen stated just below the fic's title so it won't cause confusion. Most are mature/adult content but will stated the rating regardless, enjoy the reading!

❥ ⌈ Crossfade [SERIES] • She_Who_Only_Knows_War ⌋

Rating : M / E || Modern AU

Sakura's going through a breakup. She joins Shisui on a drive as he waits for Itachi and Izumi to sober up.

❥ ⌈ Shut Up and Dance • sleepyfox ⌋

Rating : E || Modern AU

Sakura is desperate for a place to stay, and would do just about anything for a door she can shut in the face of anyone who pisses her off. Shisui hates being alone, and his apartment is too big for just him. It only makes sense that she should move in, right?

Crow is a famous YouTuber who posts dance videos and is known for never speaking or revealing his face to protect his identity. CherryBomb is a fan and dancer herself, and when she starts posting her own videos in response to Crow's, it sparks a friendly public rivalry and a far more private friendship. As their relationship deepens, they promise to remain anonymous where it matters most, because what they have is all they need... Right?

❥ ⌈ And So We Burn • sleepyfox ⌋

Rating : E || Pairing : MultiSaku (Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Shisui) || Canon divergence AU

Shisui isn't surprised to see little Cherry-chan all grown up with a take no shit attitude, but he is surprised by how much he likes it. Turns out, she's just his type.

“Another Uchiha, Blossom? You seem to have a thing for guys with the Sharingan."

❥ ⌈ Would you... • Espoiretreves ⌋

Rating : E || Canon divergence AU

Sakura has no time to date. Shisui has no restraints. An injury brought them closer and their story begins.

❥ ⌈ Take Me Or Leave Me • AsterKnightengale ⌋

Rating : E || Pairing : MultiSaku (Kakasaku/ItaSaku/ShiSaku/GenSaku) || Canon divergence AU

“With the last of my power, I will take everything from you, as you have from me. This I curse you.” Everything around Sakura went black. She was falling, her legs tumbling from beneath her. It all went by so quickly she couldn’t even bring herself to scream.

When Sakura opened her eyes she was back on the grass though flat on her back this time. Slowly she sat up, a hand clutching her head that was pounding. She looked around and panic gripped her chest like a vice. “Sasuke? Naruto?” She turned to the ledge her team leader was and found it absent. “Kakashi-sensei?”

❥ ⌈ make me lose my breath (hit me hard) • onemorepineapple ⌋

Rating : M || Modern AU

She should have known she was doomed when she punched him in the face and he thanked her for it.

❥ ⌈ Flowers still bloom • jimmythemystic ⌋

Rating : T || Post-war AU

After the death of Sasuke and Naruto during the War, Sakura is only alive because she's pretty sure if she hadn't pulled herself off the ground, Kakashi would have buried himself beside them. And what would the village do without their Hokage?

Life in the village is starting to go back to normal. By chance, Sakura encounters someone long thought lost by the village. Can life, and love, bloom again?

❣ If you find any fics that have your best interest in mind and enjoy the reading, please let the author know your thoughts and love of them! 🤗💖 You can also check out authors’ other works simply click on their name that has been provided next to their work!

❣ Are there more fics suggestion? Feel free to add more! This post is purely made just to recommend readers not to missed out any good worth fics to read— The more fics to recommend, the merrier~💕

❣ Not to forget, as always, happy reading!

#⚠️FOR RATED M⚠️ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK #🔞MINORS DNI🔞#fanfic rec #naruto #shisaku #shisui uchiha #sakura haruno #multisaku #kakasaku #itasaku #gensaku #my art #naruto au

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abhainnwhump · 13 days

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Yo we're doing IMYM prompts?? I have one too!

Prompt: I've always imagine that Ink (maybe a more canon one) would have a lot of difficulty following instruction/orders etc...maybe due to him being very much adhd coded. And that would most likely leave Nightmare extremly angry (maybe he knows about his condiction and insults him 'cause of it?? Would Nightmare just pulls the r-slur to him when Ink does something wrong??)

Apparently we are. It's fun for the whole family.

(Content warnings: Torture, conditioning, dehumanization, ableism and ableist slurs, Nightmare being the worst person ever because that's a trend today)

"No, no. Stand back up, Ink. We're trying this again."

Nightmare looked up at the grandfather clock as Ink groaned. Nightmare's tendrils twitched with frustration. Over an hour of practice and Ink still couldn't figure out how to kneel and roll over on command.

Nightmare made the hand motion for Ink to kneel again. Unlike the first couple times, Ink listened without complaint. Hitting him seemed to help though.

"Good. Now roll over-"

"What's the point in this? Your goal is to train me into a killer doll, right? So why are you teaching me to dog tricks? And I'm tired of this. It feels like hours. Can we at least do something fun? I liked practicing makeup and I thought the battle stuff was fun, can we do that?" Ink huffed, staying on his knees. Nightmare sensed his bored aura, nothing engaged him.

Nightmare's eye twitched, especially as Ink muttered something about getting his head out of his ass. Did he think he couldn't hear? He had been patient all hour, but no more. His tendrils flared up and the sludge covering his body distorted into a grotesque version of himself. HIs voice raised. "Why don't you ever be quiet? I've lost count of all the times I've told you to stop talking. Even the Murder Time Trio were easier to train, they're all smarter than whatever you can dream of."

Nightmare struggled to hold back the anger in his tone. Part of the reason he chose to kidnap Ink in the first place was the knowledge he was so stupid. He would be easy to manipulate and train, it was wrong. "I knew you weren't intelligent, but I didn't believe you were this brainless. You can't follow basic orders, you can't sit still half the time, you can't pay attention when I talk to you, you can't remember anything, and you can't read. You're lucky you're a guardian, your magic is all you're worth."

Ink's face went from shock to hurt, followed by his aura. "I can do all of those things! I just . . . I just struggle a bit! Nightmare, I'm dyslexic so reading's hard, and I have ADHD so being still and obedient is hard. Why can't you figure that out? You know everything across the multiverse-"

Nightmare slapped him across the face to get him to shut up. He grabbed his neck with a tendril and pulled him up. "I don't care about either of those. And I'm sorry, were you implying I'm dense?"

Ink shook his head quickly at the end.

"Good." Nightmare let him go. "We're done for the day, but no food for you tonight nor tomorrow. I won't let you eat until I see you get out of this retarded state. Remember, this is no one's fault but yours. Do you understand me?"

Ink gulped and nodded as Nightmare let him leave. "I- I . . . yeah, I understand. Sorry . . . I'll stop being stupid."

#it's “Ink gets beaten and humiliated while Nightmare is Satan incarnate” day #IMYM #nightmare sans #whump #ink sans #conditioned whumpee #whump writing #whumpblr #asks #inkmare #nightink #ink x nightmare #later Ink/Ribbon would keep calling himself stupid and brainless until Blue shakes some sense into him

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canonizzyhours · 6 months

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To Anon who hated the watering down/chipping away at Izzy's s1 traits:

As someone who started as a Jar Izzy Fan, lost faith in it and hated him coming into s2 (mostly due to fandom things, not canon)...so I suppose I could be classified as someone who technically dislikes/disliked Izzy?? (Dislike Izzy was the lens I watched most of s2 with, anyway)

I think those of us who dislike(d) Izzy also hated that watering down. I think most people who disliked Izzy still liked him for the role of antagonist he was--because where would the characters we love be without someone antagonistic to butt heads against, and where would the narrative be without him to cause problems on purpose?

And washing him clean of those problematic features, in order to serve the narrative that needed to be sped up (due to budget cuts), eliminated what made him most interesting and what made him an antagonist that you could love to hate. Honestly, until I saw where the narrative was taking him, the watering down of Izzy s1 traits was starting to look like Fanon-Izzy had somehow replaced canon and won out, and that s1 problems-on-purpose had been brushed under the rug for him. It was very disagreeable to watch.

Anyway, you're not alone. I miss the rat bastard that was worth jarring up and shaking. He was interesting. I wanted to tie him to an anchor, throw him off the ship, and hit him with a sandwich, but he was fucking FASCINATING.

#13.

related posts: #12

#canonizzyhours #ofmd #izzy hands

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inukag-archive · 2 years

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hello, do you have any recs on fictions where one of them lost their memories? Maybe some where there are already together? Would love to read them! Thank you!

Hi anon, we hope you enjoy this list of stories featuring memory loss!

Missing Memories by @petri808 (M)

A big fight sends Kagome out into a storm to get away from Inuyasha, her last words of I hate you ringing in his ears as he comes across the accident scene and her car wrapped around a pole... Doctor's say she'll live but without any memory of him, so what is he to do? There's only one thing-- woo her all over again.

Return to Me by @dawnrider (E)

A human night goes wrong for Inuyasha and the gang. Another crisis arises as Kagome is met with the possibility of Inuyasha never again knowing who she is.

CW: Traumatic brain injury/head injury, minor violence

Purity by Sueric (E)

Naraku is gone. Kagome has the jewel. After seeing InuYasha's torment, Kagome faces 'the truth' of his feelings. Kagome does the unthinkable, and in a final act of love, Kikyou offers InuYasha one chance to fix it. But is he too late?

Bump in the Night by @kstewdeux (T)

A year long coma and a rapid descent into madness ends with a confession of love.

Forgotten Anamnesis by @splendentgoddess (X)

Instead of just Kagome losing her memories, or just Inuyasha, what would happen if they BOTH lost their memories, together, while traveling just the two of them? Could they fight off youkai? Make it back to Kaede's? Resist each other? Whoops, awkward...

Fractured by @ajoy3fanfics (E)

After calling Inuyasha to her side, Kikyo fears that he will run back to Kagome. To avoid this, she alters his memories, removing any trace of her- or so she thinks. How can Inuyasha piece these fractured memories together, and more importantly, how can he win Kagome back once he does?

Augmented by @anisaanisa (M)

Inuyasha is a lucky guy. Managing to stay on the right side of the track in a metropolis that near dragged its inhabitants into degeneracy was a feat in and of itself. So what if he hated his job? So what if his best friend was overbearing and his so-called guardian was crazy? None of that matters when you can barely remember your own name.

The Way it Was Meant to Be by @writemydaydreams (T)

Naraku wants Kagome out of the picture, completely. Can Inuyasha piece together what happened and undo Naraku's plot before it's too late? Or will he be stuck trying to make the best out of his new reality?

I Can’t See You in the Darkness by @fawn-eyed-girl (T)

Dark canon divergence. Time becomes timeless when Kagome is stuck in the jewel and Inuyasha doesn’t call for her. Will she be able to escape the jewel's influence? Will Inuyasha be able to find her?

Time After Time by @kstewdeux (T)

After a strange injury, Inuyasha wakes up each morning believing Kagome hasn't returned yet. This causes problems.

Missing by @ajoy3fanfics (M)

Inuyasha has woken up in a hospital with no memory of the last six months and is terrified when he finds no sign of Kagome. Worse, he finds out that he dumped her for his ex! What happened to Inuyasha and Kagome, and what does that have to do with his accident?

The Closest Moment to the Dawn by @sassybratt9791 (M)

They named her Kagome after finding her injured and unconscious on the subway. Suffering from amnesia, she recuperates under the care of a semi-retired surgeon and a fresh young doctor. But when dark and violent flashes of her past come back to haunt her, Kagome begins to wonder if her past was worth remembering. Especially when a man she doesn't recognize quite literally lunges into her life, accusing her of murder.

Unforgettable by Kanna37 (T)

Kikyou, or Kagome? Which one is truly memorable to the hanyou? Kikyou, tired of walking the world only half alive, decides it's time to find out. She casts a spell on Inuyasha, a spell of forgetfulness towards Kagome. But there's a catch - if he loves Kagome more than her, he'll remember her again before daylight falls the next day.

I Want to Remember You by Discord1 (K+)

Kagome falls and hits her head on a rock, losing her memory. Including the memory of a certain dog-eared demon. What will Inu-Yasha do to get her to remember him? And what will the plotting Miroku do to get the two of them together?

Memories Forgotten by ananova (T)

Post manga. Inuyasha suffers a head injury and loses part of his memory. Will he get it back? How will this affect his relationship with Kagome?

Sachi by Quillwing717 (M)

Inn owner InuYasha Kasahara is finally satisfied with his life. Undisturbed, isolated…and peaceful. Until the arrival of Kagome, half-frozen, partially clothed, and unconscious from a gunshot to the head. Worse…her face is chillingly familiar.

#inukag archive #inukag fanfic #memory loss #lost memories

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echoedcrosshairs · 11 months

Text

Playing with Fire / Cad Bane ~ part four

Summary; Cad Bane sets foot in a library looking for information, quickly coming to learn you were more then the average librarian. As a former Bounty Hunter you decide to help out, you’re smart and that’s an asset he could use but that wise mouth has him wondering what use he could use and if it would be worth it

Warning; Fluff, Angst, Emotional Turmoil, Violence, starting to get hot and heavy, alien (obviously), Cad Bane can kind of be an ass, age gape (canonically during clone wars Bane is 41-43ish) reader is mid 20’s, sapiosexual, mild toxicity that gets fixed, toothpicks, green and red blud.

Word Count: 4.5k

part 3 part 5

Masterlist

The mind was buzzing as if every bee in the hive had woken up and started fluttering around in your head knocking into each other violently. Were the cuffs an act or did he genuinely thing you'd run, so many thoughts crashed into one another as he held the restraints occasionally opening the bounty holo to stare at it. He shoved you into the ship towards holding, you frowned. Todo came zipping to you laughing saying how theirs only one member allowed on the ship and it wasn't you. Bane used his metal gauntlet and set the droid squealing back, "Gehet the blankets." Todo came back a few minutes later with them folded and placed them on top of the trunk before getting told to get lost. Attempting to walk yourself into the holding cage, Bane grabbed your restraints and pulled you back to him quickly switching them from behind you to in front of you. He yanked down the collar of your shirt and pulled suit looking at your neck and faintest trace of him there. The treacherous thought of coasting his fingers across them, nonchalantly but quickly putting the collar back up.

"I believe there is a rule against fucking your bounties," you said coldly trying to walk out of his grasp but failed again.

"Jus' cause I'm turnin ya in doesn' mean I can' enjoy ya. I finish whata start."

As much as you just wanted to head butt him in the face for being a prick, annoyingly your curious mind won. What is Bane like when he isn't full of Durosian hormones? The little question gnawed at you until your mouth mustered a response, "Fine," it was still enough to get under his skin.

"F'ine?" He snaps, "Dat's it? F'ine? Ya seemed to really like't las' night."

"No idea what you're talking about," you purposely poked him again.

Bane whirled you around with a glare, "Ya mean' that walk outta da room an' forget," his pride minimally feeling hit. He was very aware of how much you enjoyed every second of it even napping like unsuspecting prey with an predator waiting above. Bane remembered how much you enjoyed his bites even if your soft silky skin wasn't designed for it, even offering yourself to him. He couldn't help but bare his fangs at the thoughts. Anger leached itself to him every inch of him tingled.

"Has the great Cad Bane finally taken a fancy to one of his fucks?" You snapped, "Yes I have been very interested in you not often does a fellow bounty hunter pick up a book or is insanely attractive. I've dealt with your jealousy without lashing back, karking hell you didn't like the intimacy why are you so bothered by me 'forgetting.' You were extremely blunt earlier saying we are not an item so who the hell do you think you are getting mad at me when I have been nothing but tolerant your bantha shit? Then this?" You paused to shake your wrist before pointing at your neck, "You could have found me so it wouldn't have mattered," you threw your hands up in annoyance.

He yanked your wrist towards him unlocking them then sent the restraints hurdling towards the wall, squinting at the light purple bruises on your wrist not being able to determine if they were from last night or how tight the cuffs were. Turning his gaze to you finding the equally enraged expression. He took a step forward noticing you didn't budge, another step and another step until you were toe to toe, "Yeh or Nah, lil lady." He tried to keep his breathing steady but his mechanical respirator betrayed that. Bane's mind screamed at him to continue last night, to touch you and consume your warmth but for as rough as he was as man he could be a gentleman... time to time.

I probably could kill him, right here, right now but he did just remove the pathetic cuffs. Is that an apology? Infuriated you quickly grabbed his duster collar pulling him to your mouth with a forcible bite against his thin blue lip before smoothing it with a kiss. Bane yanked your pants down letting them fall to your ankles, you stepped on them and kicked them to the side. Smoothly he grabbed one of the vibro blades cutting away the shirt and body suit ripping them down as he went before tossing the knife towards the discarded pants. Making it easy you brought your legs up and peeled them down for him, he put his boot on them and gently shoved you back without removing himself from your lips.

A couple of paces, Bane had you back against the cool wall. He worked off his holster belt of his dearest LL-30's tossing it onto the cot moving his hands to his pants letting them fall without bothering to take them off before he unsheathed himself. He grabbed the meat of your thigh and pulled it up to his hip wrapping his arm under. You got the message jumping a little to bring your other leg around his waist locking your ankles together. His hands pressed into your ass raising you enough to spear you with his aching cock.

You moaned into his mouth sliding into him as your tongues danced together like snakes constantly coiling and striking each other. Not so gently he nipped the end of your tongue as you pulled it back into your mouth. You put your head back against the metal of the wall feeling yourself slide down his need. Finding his eyes already latched onto yours, his gaze matching the sharpness of his fangs. You tense mildly under his expression and see a smile tug at the corner of his lips. Bane grabs your wrist with each hands pinning it above you with all of his weight letting out a deep guttural growl that you can feel through his cock and where your hips rested on his. The thrusting became primal, rough and all things sinful as you whimper at the roughness of him stretching you again. Each ridge of him feeling fuller and more defined.

"Bane-" then his face is on your neck sniffing before he bites just enough to puncture holding back due to your pathetic human fragility, aggravated further as his hat falls off whooshing back. Each time he entered you making you moan a little louder until your throat began to ache. As carnally and possessive as he is fucking you he doesn't want to cum not yet nor letting you come until your screaming only his name then does he take both of your wrist in one hand bringing his thumb to circle the swollen pinnacle that he continues to tease with his thrust until you start to tremble.

"Dis is wha' yappin so much gets ya," he grunts as he picks up the the pace with his thumb. His hand tightens around your wrist as you try to pull them down as you writhe against the wall. He enjoys watching the faces you make and how your back arches towards him. Bane doesn't ease up as you cum, forcing you to clench around him as he chases his high listening to every soaking sound of you taking him and strained sound as your vocal cords start giving out. Quickly Bane brought his teeth back to the side of your neck depositing his scent and his seed in you. He pulls you off the wall continuing to fuck it into you until he reaches the cot dropping you on it and pulling you off from around him smirking as his a few drops of cum dripped from his tip landing on your thighs simultaneously enjoying how indecent you looked with fucked wild hair, a faded hazy expression and dripping him, "Goo' luck try ta forget' dat dis time," he grumbled tucking himself back in and pilling his pants back up. Bane grabbed the blanks by the corners and laying them on you but this time not bothering to tuck you in or lay down instead putting his belt and holster back on, "Nah like ya can leave da ship anyway," he said looking down at the pile of cloths before strutting up to make sure neither of you couldn't use the escape pod by ejecting it space because no matter what he did he knew you were smart enough to fix it. Jabba can jus' add it to da reward, he thought. Snarling when Todo approached him, "Wha'."

"Mr. Bane, she is currently a score.. that score is laying under your blankets. Isn't this bounty to personal?"

"I' take any bounty for da right price," he retorted, "Jabba gonna have to pay da personal price," he said walking away from the droid towards the pilot chair to make the call and deal.

"Mr. Bane, I do not think-"

"Fuckin' can it. I ain't in da mood Todo," he hissed continuing his walk alone flicking another tooth pick into his mouth strutting with hands on his hips trying to sort out his... feeling.

You laid in the bed your head reeling from experience, your throat scratchy caused by being fucked silent by Cad Bane. Is that what one would call hate fucking? I should get cleaned up and figured a way out of this mess, just... so comfy. You were almost asleep when Todo came in with a bacta forcing you back into consciousness.

"You must mend your neck, you are very valuable to Mr. Bane alive to get his reward. You do have a hefty price tag. I would hate to have to try to revive you."

"It's just a surface wound, I'll be fine," you sneered at the little droid, "how much?" you asked curiously, taking the tube knowing he wasn't going to give up.

"Original bounty price plus price of a new escape pod plus price of the bounty you two were beginning and plus what Mr. Bane calls a personal price."

"Better be close to a million," you scoffed.

"It is exactly."

"Hope he enjoys it. Leave." You sat up and rubbed the Bacta in your neck hoping the alone time would help cooling off your temper. As insufferable as the man was he was the best fuck of your life and the most interesting man, the way he talked, how he composed himself, the crimson of his eyes to the ocean tint of his skin, how his breathing worked, why was he maddeningly possessive, everything was so.. interesting. You pulled back the blankets quickly darting to the refresher as some slid down your thigh. After freshening up you left the blankets laying out unscathed as you palmed a blade, it was odd he didn't think twice about locking them up. You took a quick shower before picking a new outfit to be delivered to the Hutts too for whatever reason.

"Little birdy tells me you might need some assistance," you looked over reading the message from Hondo.

"Depends on what the Hutt's want, regardless I'll need a drink after."

"Or two," he replied.

You laughed, "Maybe three if I have to make it someone's bad day, wait for me?"

"The alcohol is already waiting along with a new book, lovely planet."

You put the pad in your belt wondering who told him because for that price he wouldn't. Staring at your bunk then down in Bane's bunk you had the unnerving sensation to lay in his. You're lip twitched reaching up you grabbed your book and disappeared back to the holding cell where everything reminded untouched. You wiped up what little got on the cot reluctantly putting the blankets back in the trunk before crawling under the thin excuse for a blanket propping your self up against the wall. The door opened, you ignored the cowboy standing there with his hand on his hips glaring at you instead turning the page of your book. Hearing the click of his boots move towards you with the mechanical breathing grow slightly more labored you finally looked up, "How I am suppose to read during this darling of a conversation?" you said sarcastically.

"Whatcha doin in here?"

"I didn't want to be in the bunk room so I came back here to get some reading done."

"Woman, you aint-"

"Aren’t what? A bounty. A prisoner? I am however. To quote you, Can it," you said fluttering your lashes at him with a smile, "and really ejecting your escape pod? At least Jabba's compensating you for it and more," you motioned towards the door while your face kept an even expression your heart was palpitating at the gunman, "Now if you don't mind."

"Dis is ma ship," he squinted.

"That it is, Mr. Bane," you retorted flatly pulling your attention back to the book before his hand snapped it shut, "Maybe you need a book on manners not the linguistics of your mother tongue," he tossed the Durese book at the wall at the comment, "Am I correct on assuming that we are either close to Tatooine or are you just being an ass?" you said pulling back the blanket and retrieving the book.

"Why ya readin it?" his draw was a little longer then usual.

"When I conclude whatever busy I have with Jabba, I think Hondo would like a vacation," you quipped poking yourself with the fiery daggers in his eyes.

"Wat did I say-"

"Techincally I am here as one of your most expensive scores instead of a colleague, I don't think that applies currently."

You felt the cool touch of his hand on your throat, "s'op makin dis personal, jus' business."

"Jabba is paying you, oh what did you call it? A personal price. I'm not taking it personally, if I did one of us would be dead right now," you pointed out, "however I am rather curious what the Hutts want with me, my curiosity seems to overwrite what it's my best interest. Anyway I am going to go take a heat soak," you said grabbing his wrist and bringing your foot back to the wall using it to propel yourself forward shoving him back.

He stumbled a bit but his grip didn't falter, "Gonna cook ya self, Jabba wan's you a'live."

"I do know how to turn down a thermostat, I am not a child. As long as you shut it you can join me."

Bane's lip twitched but his hand let go falling after you to the heat room watching you turn it down and on. He decided to sit across from you, watching you relax into the heat keeping his hat tipped forward enough not to fall off but still be able to see your outstretched legs. Weird mammalian woman. He took off his coat and rested it next to him deciding to enjoy the heat wishing he could enjoy it with you. Drat, woman's makin me soft. Dis is a goo' thin Jabba wants 'er, he tried convincing himself gnawing through his toothpick until it fell broken in two into his lap.

You laid down on your back enjoying the landscape art, Even if I said that just to taunt him maybe I should take a trip there. Bane can't be the only hot smart man in the galaxy plus finding a couple actual books in the language would help, "Don' even think 'bout it," you heard him mumble like he knew what you were thinking.

"Pray tell, what do you think I am thinking about Mr. Bane?" You chuckled.

"Takin' Hondo."

"I said that to gauge your reaction, if I'm going to there it will be for my own curiosity. Alone."

"An' no findin' anotha-"

"What if I do? Hopefully he'd be less insufferable then you. I doubt I could find a better fuck but at least a more tolerable personality," you realized your mistake hearing his foot steps seeing him standing over you, "Wha-" he flipped you over on your stomach pulling you up onto your knees thankfully you had elected for pants which he pulled down though you wondered if they ripped with how hard he yanked them.

He quickly undid himself snd snapped his hips into your squishy rear, forcing a surprised moan out of you as he collided into your depths. After a couple quick thrust his arm shot out pulling your back to his chest biting the back of your neck a little harder then he previously had, tongue flicking around the wound and you faintly felt something gooey seeping into the wound, "He know he eh dead man walkin," he growled dropping you back into your hands with a thud ignoring that his belt was even leaving marks across your plump butt he kept thrusting until both of you were on the edge when he abruptly pulled out yanking you pants up and tucking himself away chuckling as he grabbed another toothpick.

You felt the wave starting to fade, you sat back on your heels bringing your fingers to the wound finding a slight green tight, "Bane... did you just farking scent mark me like a piece of breeding property?" You screamed at him.

"I warne' ya 'bout messin with dis Duros, playin' with fira," he said smugly, "da scent ya make, is ma alone." Bane rarely experienced the green eyed monster but it was shaking him to his core not wanting anyone to experience your beauty and brains.

You saw the timer fall to zero. Getting up silently and strode out of the room slightly not trusting the twitch in your fingers not to toss a blade at his head. You barely knew the man, he was intoxicating to be around even just listening to voice was enough for the fumes to start but the man was an absolute menace. You took yourself into the fresher gripping the counter slightly rocking yourself trying to get a hold of the thoughts that were going to light speed through your head but two things were immediately clear; first there was no amount of washing that would get it out and second that you looked forward to wiping that smug expression off his face.

You wiped up the dried blood but rejected the bacta leaving the tender wounds opened much to the droids complaint. Todo informed you that you be arriving soon, swallowing the rage the best you could you changed into something that showed off the wounds letting them be on full display. You grabbed the bags using them as a seat near the ramp as you waited to land. If Bane wanted to be a fire, you were going to be a blaze unlike Sith's hell had ever seen. Fingers drummed mindlessly as revengeful thoughts consumed you, some making a smile twinge other's as wicked as the gleam in your eye.

Todo met you at the ramp insisting that you wait for Mr. Bane, you swatted away the droids tossing your bags at the guards waiting telling them to carry your books and clothes. Heard Bane's boots behind you closing the distance, you heard his grumble about the wounds. Ignoring him you continued your path into the palace making sure to do a spin taking in every one in the room seeing Hondo and a few of his closes acquaintances. You saw the indistinguishable flash of anger in his face before it faded back into an neutrality.

Doing your usual little bow for him, "Great Jabba, I hear you were looking for me?" you asked eyeing the Hutt.

You heard Jabba speak but you both know you didn't need the droid allowing it to translate for the benefit of the others in the room, "The Great Jabba ask where have you been?"

"I took... a vacation, a break from work to clear my head. Is my assistance needed? Perhaps a tutor for your grub?"

"Powerful Jabba needs to you hide a box where no one will ever find it and inquires about the wounds."

You smiled happy your trap worked, "Dearest Jabba, are you sure there isn't anything more prolonged you require of me," you took a sideways profile take of Bane's glare before returning your eyes back to Jabba, "even you most powerful Hutt seem to treat your acquaintances with more dignity and kindness," if Bane's glare could shoot, you'd be riddled with holes.

"Powerful Jabba says you are dismissed Bane the funds have been transferred," the droid said pointing towards the door.

"Pleasura doin' business with ya," he said tipping his hat before leaving.

You made a show of sneering at his back relaxing your shoulders as the door closed behind him, "Thank you," you said with another small bow. The questioning expression on Jabba's face confirmed he wasn't the one who was eavesdropping on the coms but did show him silently questioning the gun slinger.

"Jabba ask how will you dispose of the box."

"To hide it from anyone not even you can know. However I will require a ship-"

Almost on que Hondo offered you his, eyes fixated on the wound, "Jabba says he must have someone check it over but it is acceptable."

"Your neck," Hondo hissed.

"He is surprisingly... possessive."

"Has the Cad Bane taken an interest in someone?" he said loud enough to draw people's eyes to the wounds.

"Unfortunately," you retorted, "It's one those simple ships right?" You asked quietly.

"Pshh a child could pilot it blindfolded."

"You're the best, Hondo."

"I know," he smiled, "So, why did he do it?"

"That is a story for when I get back and after to many drinks. Until then," you said noticing the approaching guards escorting you and the box to the ship. Your fingers traced the cold controls Hondo was right it was a simple ship but still more advanced then you'd care for. Managing to get it off the ground and space bound you found Bane still in orbit stilling in his view port watching, you smiled passing him as you made the jump to the best place to hide anything even beyond the Jedi's reach.

Drat dat woman, he thought watching you take off. Makin a mess an' show of me. He groaned kicking up his legs onto the dash crossing them, bringing a his fingers to his toothpick twisting it. Bane wasn't a man for feelings, he was a man of basics needs, hunting, fucking, credits and sleeping. It wasn't often he took a woman during his cycle but there had never been any lingering feelings afterwards but you had taken root inside his frozen heart making it ever so slightly thaw. The touch of your silky skin against his or how you had zero fear or reservation with your tone around him infuriated him but made him just want to kiss you until you shut it. He felt the primitive urge started to resurface as ran his tongue around him mouth still tasting you feeling himself swell. Drat. His lip twitched as he looked down at the planet knowing where the competition was, his blood boiling for a demonstration of his superiority as a partner. The toothpick broke and he tossed it.

"Mr. Bane, what is it?" Todo asked looking from his minor leg repair from being swatted at like a fly.

"Fin' ma all da info on 'er you can an' I do mean all. I wanna know what I got maself mix' up in," venom laced his words.

"Mr. Bane... Have you actually decided on a mate?" Todo inquired, "I mean you are not getting younger, dealing with your brooding is not pleasant nor your distracted-"

"Kriffin can it," he growled, "thin' life pick' for me," he muttered. He sat there waiting for the ship to return reading what Todo could find, rapidly scanning each hologram before moving onto the next. Each piece confirming how alike both of you were, smart, cunning, survivors and at time ruthless. Bane fingers drummed against his pistol the cowboy in him yelling to go handle the competition like a man while the Durosian in him conflicted wanting to win fairly out of pride. He looked at the little hologram light start blinking finding Hondo on the other side.

"Wha ya want?" He asked answering the call.

"Pshh I don't need anything from you" He said defensive, "I was actually going to ask if you needed something from me," he said smirking, "pertaining to one lovely woman."

" 'posed I did, wha' woul' it be?" he asked putting in a fresh toothpick.

"This book is something she's been looking for," Hondo said holding the old novel, "I don't know what she sees in you Mr. Bane, however the lengths she is going to knock you down a couple pegs shows you actually managed to get under that skin of hers. As... old friends, I thought it would cover one of my favors."

"I reckon' it woul' wha ya ge' outta of it?"

"We'll found out, meet me at the cantina outside the palace," Hondo switched off the call, what do I get? A chance if you mess this up. He laughed tucking the book back into his coat getting up paying the tab before heading out to the cantina to wait, "You boys watch discreetly, Bane is a wild fellow."

Bane strolled into the Cantina finding Hondo waiting the bar drinking water for a change, "Suppose ya know why long she'll be gone?" he asked swinging into the seat next to him.

Hondo pulled how his pad and asked, "A couple more hours. She's taking in the sights," rolling his eyes, "Always so curious."

"To curious for 'er own good."

"You have no idea," Hondo said howling, "Good luck. You've had woman from here to Coruscant, what is different about that one?" Hondo quietly poked recording the conversations to send you.

"Neva met a smarta woman."

"That's it?" Hondo said arching an eyebrow.

"I ain't gehetting soft."

"Fine, fine. The bite?" He scolded.

"She want' to use ma hea' room."

"Interesting, she prefers ice" Hondo replied.

You listened to the conversation, although it didn't yield the answers you were looking for it was as close enough but still far enough to make him work for it. Hondo met you in the distance saying Bane was still waiting in orbit.

"He'll find out later rather than sooner," you laughed, "I think I’m going back on vacation until he figures it out," whether you meant his feelings if such a man was capable of them or where you were was up for interpretation.

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basuralindo · 11 months

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*Rises from the depths gasping for air* You'll Have Me Rise chapter 14 is here!!!

I'd like to say this took so long because I was honing it to perfection, but tbh the same kinda shit that caused the last mini hiatus just keeps happening and at this point I don't wanna jinx anything by saying this is the last of it. That said, this chapter is long as hell, and I did genuinely put a lot of work into it. This is finally a huge bulk of the plot reveal, and I hope you all enjoy!

Babble under the cut.

-Fffff where do I even begin with this? First off thank you for reading the whole thing. I can't begin to explain how this whole concept entered my head, and tbh I'm not sure how much it will end up being addressed within this story. But, if I keep at it, this means there's gonna be a sequel with undercover spy work and guerilla warfare and the works, so, fingers crossed there.

-Anyway, the opening lyrics are meant to be kind of an emotional reversal from the first chapter, because I'm seeing this as kind of a turning point in Jamil's feelings and perception of the octatrio. In chapter 1, Jamil is feeling like he's worth more than he's being given, that he's better than the people controlling him deserve. He's resenting and resisting the people around him and fighting for a sense of independence, of control over his own life. Now in these last two chapters, he's surrendering to a feeling of helplessness, he's been beaten down by recent events and falling back on the belief that he can only gain anything by being used. He's realizing that he's actually started valuing certain people, and perceiving himself as not worth enough for it to be reciprocated. Basically, Jamil is starting to give in to the prospect of being controlled by the only people he actually likes, because he's lost sight of any better alternative.

-That said, obviously his sense of pride isn't letting him give up the fight quite that easily. Jamil may get convinced to look down on himself at times, but that doesn't mean he thinks the rest of them are any better.

-I don't care about the canon dorm images. I have an idea in my head and I'm sticking with it.

-Fun fact, as a barista: If you tell us "surprise me" (unless we really like you), you're getting whatever's easiest at the moment/using up leftover ingredients laced with spite. Unless you seem chill enough to experiment on and the manager isn't there, then you're getting whatever weird flavor combo the staff has been curious about but not willing to try themselves. At least give a general range of flavor preference, or ask what we think is good. All that said, this is more proof Azul really likes Jamil.

-Mansplaining as a narrative device for exposition? In my fic? It's more likely than you think… (for real though, you can't have a story about villains without at least one monologue)

-So, moray eels shed and regrow teeth, which means I'm deciding that the tweels do too, which supplies some of the parts they're selling. So yeah I'm picturing Azul acting like the world's most awful tooth fairy and coming to collect whenever his boyfriends lose one

-Very minor but I imagine Azul is absurdly pleased with himself for coming up with a terrestrial plant metaphor to explain things to his terrestrial crush

-A while ago (when I thought the chapter would be written soon) I did a short poll asking folks on tumblr to vote on who got fridged for Azul's backstory, and his stepdad was eliminated …sorry Orfeo… (I'm gonna go into how I picked the name after a chapter where we learn more about him)

-TBH I feel like half of this lore was made up on the spot. I'm not sure if I'm sorry or proud of myself, but at least it's written down. It didn't hit me until I was done writing it out that environmental exploitation and human trafficking have always been such major topics growing up that they've really become go-to narrative conflicts in my writing

-I can't resist the concept of sirens having an inherent magical allure. I imagine it helps Azul with convincing clients and victims to agree to his inadvisable deals, and acts up more subconsciously when he actually wants to attract someone (like Jamil during class and in this chapter)

-I actually really enjoyed trying to depict Azul's feelings and motives from the POV of Jamil completely misinterpreting just about every cue

-A moment of silence for Jamil and what he thinks is normal. The idea that Azul might be upset for him has never crossed his mind (Azul: What's that? People try to poison you? Often??? I'm going to need a drink. / Azul: Oh so you… don't… get choices… in your line of work? You just referred to yourself as someone's resource? More wine it is. / Jamil: …is he mad at me?)

-On that same note, another moment of silence for when first crush anxiety meets massive paranoia. And the inevitable drastic misunderstandings when one party is accustomed to always being used and the other is notorious for always using people. Our boys are Going Through It

-Jamil can't tell the difference between a broken heart and indigestion tbh, and Azul's pretty sure he's poured his heart out on the floor enough times that he can't figure out what could possibly be left to misinterpret

-Aaaand have another round of Disney References Slipped Into Serious Scenes For A Laugh. It's like an easter egg hunt of me sabotaging the mood of my own story! (I'm still waiting on someone to catch the shitty aladdin sequel ref thrown into one of my otherwise favorite scenes from several chapters back). All that said, I'm actually kinda pleased with this one, since the theme songs can merge like that

#you'll have me rise fic #chapter babble #chapter update #you'll have me rise chapter 14

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vaguely-concerned · 3 months

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Evil Campaign/Zeblue Thoughts Extravaganza

This is a merry mishmash mess of reactions, transcriptions of some important scenes from the podcast, notes for my fics, and general happily unhinged ramblings about the Campaign: Star Wars Evil Campaign! Don't... don't look at the wordcount please

- blue definitely for sure would be dead a thousand times over if it weren't for zero but I also wish to point out that when blue was out for one night zero lost two arms and almost got annihilated by force lightning. blue is zero's emotional support little bitch boy and clearly his functioning without him goes down catastrophically

- blue's little holo-screen saver zero that goes 'I love you!' when it goes away and the fact that by the finale he's added a little holo-screen saver blue to keep him company, I'm just -- aaaaaah

between that and how earnestly giddy and glowing blue gets about how cool synox is as soon as he knows that synox can't hear him... zero I kind of get it. you're still bonkers for it of course but I do see where you're coming from I sort of want to stop him from getting thrown off any more roofs too even though he provably deserves it. No one who makes a little chibi Zero holo who says ‘I love you!’ when he’s just like bored is completely rotten all the way through, I agree with Zero there’s something in there that’s worth it

- can u believe that zero's first real appearance is leenik barely scratching his chest as if with a fingernail and then he just. chops leenik's hand clean off in one turn and moves on with his life. and he gives a shrug emoji about all the grievous bodily harm he's caused when blue tells him to stand down. He bombards blue’s inbox with cat memes. In his spare time he’s a DJ. He can crunch a man’s rib cage like a soda can with barely a flick of his wrist. He knows the tango. the perfect marriage of terrifying murdermachine and goofball

- "Zero, talk some sense into me or him" hfjdksafhsakjd obviously hilarious in itself but also... damn blue trusts zero SO MUCH

- Just me gathering some info together in one place: Zero bleeds blue, and whatever happened to him before he got his cybernetics was extensive enough that it left him on life support, so he originally turned this amount of cyborg more out of necessity than anything it sounds like. (From what they say about gank culture he probably had some modifications before that too, since Tubaik is notable for being the one person we know going ‘nah bro miss me with that shit’ completely.) He says something like ‘have you ever had to regrow a face?’ to Aava, and when there’s the whole ‘just because you can’t tell that she’s armed doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t’ thing with the possessed Force lady he says something like ‘lost a limb last time I made an assumption like that’. He’s clearly got some Issues around it — warns Aava that ‘it isn’t pretty back there’ when she asks to see his face behind the helmet, the dark side mind reading pulls out ‘there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him’ from him. He’s 53% cybernetics, making him just barely more machine than man haha. His legs are at least partially cybernetic — he has them glutes and thighs Synox is checking out. Someone says something about an exoskeleton at one point, but I’m not sure how seriously we’re meant to take that, it might have been a joke. His first appearance in Campaign proper really emphasizes that he has one cybernetic eye, but it doesn’t really come up again once the character solidifies so *shrug* I suppose he might still have that going on behind the helmet screen. He has a math chip in his head and he regrets installing it because he hates math. I love him very much

At this point I’ve stopped trying to get actual Star Wars canon ganks to make sense and declared that as far as I’m concerned hashtag Kanan gank facts reign supreme. As such: Kat agrees on calling Tubaik ‘a fox-dog sort of person’ (and jesting comparisons are drawn to various Starfox characters lol). A little under six feet tall (most wolf/cat/dog species are GIANT, for no reason [transcriber’s note: it’s for the sake of blue and the furries]). Rangy, with a short muzzle. I think Zero is probably even a bit taller than Tubaik, since Blue is actually pretty tall and Zero is noticeably taller than him again, from the Vibes.

In short: Edge of the Empire ganks look cool as fuck in an edgy teenage guilty pleasure character design kind of way, canon Star Wars ganks look like absolute bow-legged dorks

- blue instinctively calling out for zero first thing after coming around from being stunned and zero reflexively asking blue if he's alright before being like 'wait wait why am I asking you that when the solarium's open to space and you’ve been standing here the whole time go help synox' fhsdfa

- (blue re: the story behind synox' butt tattoo lol) "Details? and will this story not make me cry, like the last one?" lmao oh that's... so cute to me somehow. Gather round for war story time with good old Uncle Synox (17) on the Bluebird.

- Hilarious that Blue and Aava are both like ‘hell, Synox, don’t be so down on yourself, you’re a catch!’ and Zero takes a hard stance of ‘he’s mid at best honestly sry :I’ fhdskjfa. Guess Zero goes more for twinks

- I am building out a lot of dramatic backstory for Zero in this that isn’t even hinted at anywhere in the original text, but I do think I’m backed up by the self-evident truth that anyone who’d fall in love with Blue already must have something deeply wrong with them

- Blue’s momentary sincere tired incredulity that Corvanus (Corvanas? Who knows) is trying to tell him they’re just buying food and medicine on Metalorn is so funny to me fhsjdfhas. Also the fact that he is SO ready to double-cross everyone immediately. Like no doubt in my mind that he would have fucked over corvanus too as soon as it became the least bit convenient to him, but he really does go and collude with a rebel in his very first arc because some guy kind of annoyed him and it might serve his interests. He’s been a minister for like. A month and a half at this point. Stunning. Splendid. No notes. He’s got the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and it fills me with wonder and affection in equal measure.

- added bonus and new entry into the Blue Hypocrisy Hour gameshow: zero calls blue ‘kid’ not half an hour before they meet with the condescending rival minister and blue doesn’t even react. He really said ‘zero’s got roasting rights over me and you do not. The punishment is death btw make peace with whatever god you think will stoop to taking you in’

- ZERO HAVING BLUE’S LIFE SIGNS UP IN HIS HUD WHILE HE’S IN THE HOSPITAL AND CONSTANTLY CHECKING IT FOR REASSURANCE *insert elmo surrounded by flames gif here*

- The way Tyler makes Zero’s voice slightly higher and softer when he’s out of the helmet… emotional terrorism specifically directed upon me and my person

-“Where’s Blue? Is Blue okay?”

augh……………………………

- man I love aava. What an interesting character. Like the very idea of anyone taking Tamlin away from the Mynock crew makes my heart shatter into a thousand pieces but it is easy to see where she’s coming from.

- Blue twirls his hair around his finger when he gets bashful and Zero knows that………… omg

Also another testament to Blue’s ultimate character I think: he sends himself fake fanmail (lmao) superficially to praise himself and his work, but actually to ask Zero for reassurance that they’ll be together to the end and to tell him how important he is to him in just… the most bafflingly roundabout elaborate non-committal way fhdsja. Like yeah he is a raving egomaniac but under that is always ‘...but do you like. Like me?? We’re friends right???’. He doesn’t deserve it but I do kind of feel for him. imagine facing the mortifying ordeal and indignity of being twenty years old and the most pathetic person alive. Shudder. Glad that’s over with at least

- Say what you want about Blue but truly he is not a coward. He doesn’t even scream when Tryst shoots out his kneecap and in fact does not back it down with the attitude at all afterwards. Fhdskjafs he asks Tryst to carry him and makes him! (like yeah yeah we already know you’re gay blue). Literally too insufferable to be cowed. Isn’t the capacity of the human spirit spiked with caf and megalomania beautiful

- Commander Synox and the happy private world of ‘Pincer Maneuver :)’. I love him so incredibly much

- I want you to know that my insanity levels have reached the point that I’ve trawled fucking twitter for content. I’ve been using the search function on twitter. Yes I am desperate. Yes half of the posts are gone even aside from the awful format twitter already imposes. I have spent hours in the Musky muck for a scattered few nuggets of gold and it has been worth it but STILL entering a small fandom years later is a special kind of hell and I would not wish it on my worst enemy (this was written before musk went ahead and crashed the whole thing definitively into the iceberg early in June 2023 lmao. My point still stands tho. The things you do for love)

- Zero describing working directly for the empire as ‘ew, gross’ is so funny lmao. Okay buddy you keep desperately repressing your own complicity I understand why

- “Master? Thaaaat’s — I gotta tell you, that… Friend? Employer? Confidante? Drinking buddy? He’s, he’s a good guy. Uh…”

<3 <3 <3 also the way he immediately tries to walk it back with ‘it’s mostly professional istg’ and then by the end of the arc (so literal hours later) he gives it up as a bad job and just. Is so sweet and gay about it while aava is right there and can see it. The zero in agent zero stands for ‘no (0) chill whatsoever’. (also ‘confidante’ along with some of the dialogue they have when they’re alone in a scene implies some very sweet things about their relationship to me and I’m glad Zero has found this in his life even tho it does also mean being inextricably connected to one of the most exasperating people in the galaxy lol)

- Agent ‘yes he is incredibly annoying yes I would kill, die and live for him hope that helps’ Zero and Aava ‘it really doesn’t but good for you honey’ Arek; Ultimate Bros. They really became best bros after hanging out for one (admittedly mutually harrowing) day huh

- The fact that Blue and Zero coordinate their outfits and vehicles, including Zero’s arm…

- does zero eat ice cream through a straw. He must, right. These are the important questions. Hopefully he and blue figure their shit out asap so he can have his helmet off comfortably and experience eating ice cream with a spoon again at least in a private setting b/c that is Sad to me somehow

- “You just asked me to go to the gala with you, with documents that I forged, to show up another minister! What could possibly be more romantic than that?” and “I need a trophy husband!!” (Aava: “*genuinely bewildered* and why does that equate to a dress in your mind???”) *sniffle* I’m so used to giving and now I get to receive —

The fact that Blue apparently had that dress made to Zero’s measurements before he knew about the gala too is very… Blue Blue we need to talk, explain the strange workings of your mind here please some of the implications across this whole arc — mind boggling, flabberghasting, deranged in the most delightful way there is something so deeply wrong with this man (affectionate despite myself)

- there’s nothing that makes me clutch my face and weep like contemplating all the ways Synox and Bacta are actually very similar. And yet. And still. And here we are and these are the things we’ve done to each other brother. It’s such an interesting way to show off character, having two people with so many shared basic instincts (they are the nature’s Team Dad wet blankets (affectionate) of their respective crews lol) who make such different moral choices about it and end up in such different situations.

- “Love’s a bind. Feelings. Bind” fhdsakj oh zero. Also why did you think having a poetry book about this just casually on you would be less incriminating

- I have a big place in my heart for Aava/Synox. Knowledge of exact placement of buttcheek tattoo? Canonical fake dating backstory to work with? Aava will call him things like ‘babe’ and Mr. Synox ‘that’s not regulation ma’am’ doesn’t even lift an eyebrow? yes good excellent wonderful (tbh I also quite like tryst/aava and synox/that one art thief nemesis from the dear bluebird letter — campaign star wars is one of the extremely rare pieces of media where I’m mostly a multishipper. It’s only blue and zero who have got such a weird intense obsessive thing going on with each other that I can’t really see (or wish it upon lol) anyone else getting in on it on that level, other than that all combinations are pretty plausible to me and I can see this sea of queer disasterness freely intermingling haha. Thank u campaign for letting me taste the peace and equanimity it is to be a multishipper, I’m normally out there putting all my eggs in one emotion basket like a damn fool)

- It’s so funny that Zero just lets Blue decide the colours his arms come in. Big ‘happily letting his partner buy his underwear for him kinda man’ energy despite how stylish he is otherwise

- Synox may be the character that makes me laugh the most in all of Campaign. There’s just something about his dry nasal little straight man voice saying something awful that tickles me so very much. I love him utterly you all just don’t know him like I do listen —

- Synox: “I will say — I really admire the cybernetic thighs and, uh, and glutes that Zero —

Blue, vehemently agreeing just a little too quickly to not have given this A Lot of thought himself: “Sturdy.”

Synox: “-- that Zero has, yeah.”

Blue: “Sturdy.”

Zero: “Powerhouse.”

Synox: “Very firm and sturdy, able to withstand any sort of rocking on the ground or anything like that… Sometimes, in the heat of battle, I find myself admiring just how well those machines function.”

Zero: “...wait, are you checking me out in battle? I mean, that’s fine, but —”

Synox: “Just to make sure —”

Blue, darkly in the background: “No, he isn’t.”

Synox: “ — make sure your firm is standing… is standing tall and proper.”

Zero: “Why are you sweating so much?”

Synox, strangled: “Is it hot in here? Is it?”

Blue: “I’m only gonna say this once. Synox, back off.”

What a way to send the Evil Campaign off honestly

- Blue casually saying it took like 15 to 20 minutes for him to decide he wanted Zero around for life I’m just — Blue will literally say the most insanely sweet and romantic things solely and only when he’s not aware he’s doing it huh

- for someone whose blorbo love language is fondly dragging them I haven’t made fun of zero nearly enough in this but like… remember when his main objection to blue’s (patently insane) ‘we need to get a kid to pretend to be a perfect nuclear family for the cameras’ idea was ‘yeah I’ve got like nineteen hours to work with here blue I can’t make that happen for you’. That was where he decided the problem was with this. OK simp king

- Zero’s real and deep love for Blue truly comes out in the fact that after all these years he still insists on trying to teach him self defense on a regular basis. The boy’s a twig zero he’s more of a danger to himself than to anyone else and I refuse to believe he could even make it through a pushup. And yet I understand why you must at least try

- Blue going ballistic at the dude on Metalorn for calling him a kid while being like ‘well you know what difference of opinion here but fair enough I can respect that!’ at Synox aCTUALLY POINTING A FUCKING BLASTER AT HIM AND FIRING TWICE… blue I love you you are strange and unhinged and your priorities are rancid

- Credit where it’s due: Blue’s plan for taking over Phindar for the Empire is actually kind of clever; I wonder if that was something he’d planned for a while or if he came up with that one basically from the hospital bed? He has apparently been going to BHIKKE with Zero for years (even if he does nothing but complain the whole time, predictably, lol and Zero referring to him as ‘his date’ awww) so I can see how the idea could have been percolating in the back of his mind. Either way it’s not a lot of recovery time between the whole getting thrown off a roof thing and the broadcast he does. You get to see so many of his foibles and neuroses in the Evil campaign that it’s easy to forget he actually like. Succeeds at stuff quite frequently too lol Zero has such faith in him for a reason I guess. Did he reach his position by being insane??? (I mean yeah that too. Also Tarkin apparently just collects younger evil gays he’s going to throw in the trash and steal all the accomplishments of once it becomes convenient so that probably did something here. A Krennick is a coincidence, a Krennick and Blue is a pattern)

- Blue: “I’m not concerned with that position. What I am concerned about is personal goals. And that is something I have in spades. I don’t know what your personal goals are, Aava; that’s why I can’t connect with you. But I have goals, I have aspirations, I have things that I want to complete, and when I complete these things, it makes me whole.”

Aava: “And they don’t have to do with getting any sort of recognition from the Empire?”

Blue: [sounding faintly puzzled to be asked] “No.”

This is where my brainrot truly set in I think. ‘When I complete these things, it makes me whole’ and suddenly you understand so much more of what the fuck he’s doing and why it’s never going to work and I’m just — SCREAMING. You fool. You poor stupid idiot. For Zero’s sake if nothing else I wish you a very get well soon and get your priorities in order (tbf the dice stepped up on this one later in the arc I think there’s reason to hope)

- Raxus:“I can feel you. You are clever to have gotten this far. But I can feel your fear. Fear of death. But not yours — how noble. You fear the death of another.”

Zero: “I’m not — you’re not in my head.”

R: “The one you care for… you’re a very nurturing creature. You create these attachments very easily. Looking for a smaller, weaker thing to be the strong arm for.”

Z: “Get out of my head.”

R: “YES! Anger! Yes! That is what I want. Yes, your anger and your fear — hmm, it slakes the hunger of the Fanged God.”

Z: “You don’t know — you don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know me.”

R: “I know everything that I need to know about you. I have tasted the blood of the warrior you are many times before. So often do your feelings drive you to victory… but you face the Fanged God now. You’ll be a worthy sacrifice. And after our battle, I will find him, and I will strike him down. Know this: his death is fated. The Fanged God will taste his blood, and there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him.”

New ping to Aava: “Zero: Kriff. (transcriber’s note: lol) She sees me. Or she… feels me.”

+ (about Aava trying to save the possessed lady with a ritual instead of killing her) Zero: “We have two different objectives. She threatened Blue!”

So fucking sexy across the whole spectrum tbh. Emotionally dramatically psychologically sexually interpersonally narratively, this fucks. Zero is the ultimate service top and I support him so much. He’s A Very Nurturing Creature and he found this pathetic ginger trash racoon baby in a dumpster doing the knife cat meme; he never stood a chance. Also so kinky fhsadkfhsa he. Enjoys being wielded, does he. Goodness.

Aava saving Raxus from Zero’s righteous wrath only to have Synox swing in and shoot her dead right after is PEAK comedy and I’m so happy about it

- Aava and Zero teaming up to come up with brand new silly nicknames for Synox casually through a conversation is so blessed. Aava comes out with ‘Syclone’ at one point fhkdjfhask. Syguy. Syclopse, even.

- Transcript of The scene after the gala:

As Aava and Zero are having this conversation directly in front of Blue, Blue’s head just sorta sinks down again. And his whole body sinks down — he just drops to the ground, sits on his ass, puts his back to the bannister that’s behind him. Throws his cane off to the side.

B:“It’s been a mess of a night. It’s been a mess of a life. I — I came from, what some would say a lot, what some would say was very little, to, to make a name, and I’ve — I’ve made a name, I have made a name that I thought matters. But every time I come to one of these events, I’m the butt of the joke. I’m the butt of the joke before I get here, I’m the butt of the joke while I’m here, I’m the butt of the joke to my face; my friends who came with me — I’m the butt of the joke right in front of them. Right now… how am I supposed to function in that type of environment? How can any person deal with that level of stress? The only thing I am is what a success I am, and I am not actually a success. I’ve convinced one person in the entire Empire to give me a shot, and that was Grand Moff Tarkin; I have done one thing successful in my entire career, and — I sit in a room with people laughing at me.

Zero, you wanna go home? Go home. I pay for a bodyguard, not because I need a bodyguard, I pay for a bodyguard so you’ll be here. Aava?”

A: “Mhmm?”

B: “You’re an evil, evil space witch.”

A: “Morality is real relative, Blue. I take exception to ‘evil’, and I wish you wouldn’t use it.”

B: “And you have very annoying beliefs on philosophy. But you are one of the few people I trust in a deadly situation, and that’s why I asked you to be here.”

A: “...at a gala?”

B: “Does it get any more deadly?”

A: [crestfallen] “YES! Blue… yes.” She sinks down on her knees next to him. “These things aren’t that scary.”

B: “You can handle these things.”

A: “Yeah.”

B: “I — listen. I know you see me as a rock.”

Z: [Flatly & immediately] “No. No one sees you like that. You’re like…”

B: [:’( ] “Really?”

Z: “Yeah. You’re like… at best you’re wet sand. Like, you’re able to take a lot of different shapes, but —”

B: [interspersed] “These — these are the insults to — to my name and — I — very hurtful—”

Z: “ — but at any kind of, like, opposition — a water current, even a little bit of rain, and you start crumbling apart.”

A: “There’s a difference ��”

B: “Knives to my heart right now.”

A: “ — a difference between an insult and an observation.”

Z: “Yeah…”

B: “Uh, I’m not, I’m not seeing the difference between the two in this particular instance.”

Z: “No, keep going, keep going, I feel like we got a bit, side tracked you with…”

B: “Yeah, you did, okay, where were we — you all see me as a rock.”

Z: “Nah. I gotta say — again… no, we should — ”

A: “You’re very shaky. As an individual.”

Z: “Yeah. Mhm.”

A: “Both physically and mentally.”

Z: “It’s real easy to get under your skin, and I feel like — like once, you do it one time and the whole week is ruined, and…”

B: “I’m a sensitive guy, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

Z: “Okay, okay, yeah — continue. Just, not a rock, but, uh, continue. [muttering all in one breath] Okay go ahead.”

B: “You all see me as a rock. But I’m actually a sensitive guy. Every now and then you can see glimpses through, to the true Blue. And I’m a little blue, sometimes. Events like this, I thought this would be — this would be my time. Could show up someone, could be Blue, I wouldn’t be…the guy being laughed at, wouldn’t be the kid. That’s what they call me in that room, you know it.”

A: [softly] “You’re pretty young.”

Z: [also more softly] “Yeah, man.”

B: “I don’t like being called a kid. I don’t like being treated like a kid. I don’t like being treated like the person who doesn’t belong in that room. Zero, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room? Aava, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room?”

A: “Probably.”

Z: “No.”

A: “You don’t know that.”

B: “I do know that!”

A: [sighs] “They also don’t believe Zero belongs there. Because, the thing is — he’s a bodyguard. And I’m an alien. And there are starting to become problems with being an alien. Are you not paying attention to what the Empire is doing, Blue?”

B: [slightly affronted] “I’m paying very close attention to what the Empire is doing. Yes, there are xenophobic people in here, but that’s not the large reach of the Empire. (tone implies a little bit of a …?)”

A: “It’s also what you are promoting. It’s what you’re creating.”

B: “Hm, you gotta do what they want you to do, to a degree.”

A: “Right, I’m not talking about that, I’m just saying that — that’s the increasingly predominant culture.”

B: “...do you think so?”

A: “Yes.”

B: “So you don’t feel like you belong here either?”

A: “No.”

B: “Zero, do you feel like you belong here?”

Z: “Aaah, I don’t belong here, and I don’t wanna be here.”

B: “Well, the ship doesn’t get back for another four hours. And if the three of us don’t belong in that room… why don’t we order some damn drinks and have our own little party here?”

Z: “I talked to the guy at the bar, uh, he says he’s gonna be breaking out the cherry mimosas soon. Maybe get a sneak peak at that guy, and… I don’t know, maybe see if we can get access to Jakar’s cruiser and… mess up the engine?”

A: “Yes! Yes!”

B: “I’m fully on board with this.”

A: “Yes! Yes!”

B: “Waiter! Three mimosas and the largest wrench you have!”

Ah yes here it is… ground zero for my all-encompassing insanity. Can u believe that the dramatic climax of the Evil Campaign as it ended up is just proving once and for all that Blue has a soul somewhere in there. It took a dice roll damn near close to divine intervention, but we got there. The Force is real and it ships Zeblue.

- the fact that the pivotal moment at the end of the evil campaign is blue rolling a fucking insight check on himself. Like that check was not about aava or zero b/c they’ve spelled their side of it out Very Clearly. That was just to find out if Blue has any idea about his own bullshit. He basically just obliviously speedran processing Some Shit about internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality in a frenzy and in the least graceful way imaginable and made it the problem of everyone he loves and that was the subtextual background theme, there was so much other stupid shit going on in the foreground the whole time as well. Wild. what a strange and beautiful world we live in. what a weird little dude (affectionate). Zero’s weird little dude. Also genuinely that conversation leading up to it was more stressful to me than 90% of all horror movies lol you do not need an action scene to keep me riveted you just have to offer up some prom night drama and I’m out here biting my nails. The fellow autistic ‘blue you are getting an F- in being a person something that is possible to achieve and normal to dread’ trauma response

- Zero (RIGHTFULLY!) being so hurt and mad at Blue and still just holding his caf and giving it to him after he’s finished his own… I’m sorry 0ni it’s love and it’s terminal

- Also Zero is extremely valid for being upset about all the shit Blue pulls in that arc but there is also the element of like… some of the lack of clarity in that relationship is on Zero too for taking the easy out of claiming he’s mostly in it for the paycheck again and again. Like for god’s sake don’t let the little trash man off the hook for any of the nonsense that just went down but you have also not been communicating what you want from this, and he is actually doing his best to provide you with the stuff you have told him you want. He’s SO interpersonally stupid and you know this, you know him, he is not going to miraculously sprout the ability to intuit your deepest hopes and dreams from nothing, especially when you specifically keep deflecting away from them fjhsdkjhfa you can’t both keep playing chicken forever

They clearly have a really intense and intimate connection and seemingly have from very early on (again blue says it took him fifteen minutes to know he wanted zero around for life so like jot that down I guess wtf), but the heavy romantic and sexual undertones to their relationship (at least in any mutual or realized way) are presumably quite a recent development — Blue met and hired Zero when he was 14/15 and from the Vibes I’d say Zero is probably about a decade older (ETA: checked the wiki and campaign twitter and that does indeed seem to be right); he seems to have had a pretty storied career and a huge life-changing injury he’d cyborged himself through already. So for the first time Zero knew him, Blue was a kid, and you can absolutely see traces of that in how they interact sometimes. Not quite parental or older brother territory, but certainly a sort of nurturing caretaking thing that makes a lot of sense once you know Zero was around for Blue’s most undignified teenage years and probably is the only reason he survived them because you know he was pissing so many people off left and right haha.

In the Metalorn arc especially we repeatedly see Blue turning to Zero for guidance more like you would from a guardian than a bodyguard or employee or even a friend. (See: the “Awww but I wanted to rampage :(“/”We’ll go out and rampage some other day, buddy, does that sound okay?” convo especially haha but that same vibe pops up in lots of places. Actually taking the advice Zero gives is another thing entirely of course.) There’s also his complete conviction in Zero’s abilities that edges on the touchingly naive — “You’re Zero!”, like more than anything that’s got an edge to it of the utter faith a small kid has that their parent can do anything, because they always fix things.

We never hear anything about Blue’s parents and he certainly seems to be completely in control of his own estate and money, so my assumption is that they’re probably dead? My personal headcanon is that he hired Zero because his parents died (read: were politically assassinated) and wanted both security and revenge, but even aside from that I think we can read from his entire *gestures vaguely* deal that there was some deeply lacking parenting going on from the beginning haha I think I said somewhere before that if any character has ever had My Parents Never Loved Me energy it’s Blue.

And then you get to the place in the timeline where the actual podcast runs, where Blue is a grown man now, and they’re much closer to actually being equals in some ways and it’s opened ahem some new doors, but also the seesaw of their dynamic haven’t quite settled into that balance yet (and has some real hurdles they need to clear re: the employer/employee aspect of it all as well, messy power balances all around here) and it’s a bit of a Struggle, which is some of the subtextual throughline I’m seeing through their whole arc.

So while of course part of the imbalance in their relationship is that Blue is Zero’s employer, and also wields power politically in ways Zero doesn’t (and couldn’t, because of the anti-alien policies of the Empire) and also is awful in his own strange special little ways that must be pretty hard to live with lol, there’s also all this other stuff, like the age gap where Zero is older, more experienced and capable out in the world and in relationships (also more psychologically stable in general but that’s damning with faint praise I suppose), and that their relationship must have shifted in some key ways quite recently as Blue is growing into adulthood. It’s so weird and messy and interesting at the same time that it’s oddly comforting and domestic and incredibly mutually tender-hungry and I am obsessed with it. Most of my writing energy has probably gone into picking apart ‘...so why doesn’t this feel creepy’

- Sort of adjacent but also fascinated by how, to Zero, Blue seems to be some insane combination of ward and liege lord (as a public thing much much more so than a private one I think but no matter what it seems deeply kinky haha) and friend and boss and brother and purpose and partner and someone he’s clearly grown to desperately want to kiss in recent years despite the warning signs etc. What if you were one of the coolest guys in the galaxy and you met a terrible little nerd guy who gives your life meaning. Zero having such a drive towards being something to someone. He likes being the right hand, the sword, and what does mutuality look like here. It’s a delicious sort of equal partners/conspirators and fealty dynamic going on it’s very interesting

- Zero’s priorities are hilarious and wonderful to me honestly. Working, however indirectly, for an Empire that is, for sure, very eager to eradicate him and people like him eventually? Mild unease and distaste at worst, eh, it’s a living, in this economy what can you do, I go where he goes. Blue not paying attention to him for 24 hours? Meltdown. Personal and spiritual crisis. I cannot live or thrive under these conditions.

- is it logistically likely that Blue has never seen Zero’s face under the helmet before? Probably not, honestly, it’s been like six to seven years and presumably he must at least have done research on Zero to have hired him in the first place. Is it thematically delicious if he hasn’t but some day soon will? Yes. And that trumps everything else lol

- The fact that the Bluebird crew have karaoke nights and ice cream Sundays. And Synox is being so brave about it.

- Blue going “We are in public!” to Zero. married vibes. Also the choice of calling the hired killer he employs ‘pretty’ while he’s moving him around (which Zero must be partially letting him do because he would need to tense one (1) muscle to resist all the force Blue is physically capable of extending). Many thoughts.

- What if Blue’s family was like… nouveau riche though. What if the wealth happened in the generation of his grandparents at most and it was based in some sort of ingenious patent in agricultural engineering or whatever because they were farmers originally. Genuinely groundbreaking stuff in that field that increased agricultural yields across the galaxy (or some significant amount of biomes, at least) and everything, but hardly something to build a political career on in the Empire. Making sense of how completely disdainful Blue gets at the idea of being a farmer because Blue is nothing if not a complete hypocrite lol

This also makes some sense out of him having both seemingly unlimited funds but also a mountain-sized chip on his shoulder to me haha. He never denies that the credits sure do help kickstart a career, but at least in his mind (BIG YMMV disclaimer on the actual facts of the situation of course lol) he’s also starting from a disadvantageous situation in other ways. He says: ‘I came from what some would say was a lot, what some would say was very little, to make a name’ (implying the name has not ‘been made’ before him, despite the embarrassment of resources his family clearly has had at their disposal?). Having him be from a non-warrior clan in Mandalorian culture and/or an established family who’d fallen entirely out of relevancy until very recently is my solution but also it’s fun that as short as this campaign is there’s enough great Stuff in it to make for this amount of theorizing haha.

ETA: so I scoured the campaign twitter back to 2016 (*gentle sobs are heard in the background*) and apparently Blue’s parents were pacifists and (from what I could read out of it) probably connected to Satine’s system/new nobility! This matches up pretty well with what I’m going for already so that’s nice

- Commander ‘Overprotective Dad’ Synox sending a whole little squad of stormtroopers for Aava and Zero after their speeder blows up……………

- zeblue is just…

Zero: *sigh* I want to fuck him so bad it makes me look silly😔

Blue, heartbroken and jealous: WHO??? Who is this mystery man I must kill I mean vet before you kiss him

Aava: you do look very silly but unfortunately I am in no position to judge

- Synox sending Blue reading material about traditional Mandalorian warrior culture because it’s Their Heritage and Blue being like ‘lol. Lmao.’ and not reading a word of it is sooooo… listen their dynamic has Layers. There’s some Stuff going on here. It’s Mandalorian fuckery all the way down. Blue is Mandalorian and fits much better in the mold Satine tried to fit the culture into, but he uses that to dedicate all his time and energy to presenting Synox, who’s in that weird liminal space of Mandalorianness of all clones what with their training and origins, as a new modern soldier’s ideal for the Empire but shorn of all distinctness or cultural specificity and that’s the thing they make together for the Empire. There’s that disdain in Blue’s view of the culture he comes from, and yet he has such a good eye for the appeal of elements of it in Synox (and also a lot of stuff about the presentation of masculinity in here haha. Blue has a Fine Eye for it. Who knows why. Could be no reason at all. Who’s to say)

Also probably not something to read into but from Synox’ comments, Blue’s music sounds notably non-Coruscanti (what it does sound like, presumably, is ‘a fucking cacophony’)

- Zero and Blue audibly high fiving in the background when Zero gets the ‘I’d never betray you’ right on the second try fsdfjad ah Friendship

- “why do you need a bodyguard?”

“Look at me!”

Amazing self-own from blue outta nowhere jfsjda

- gentle reminder that after talking to jacinto reth, blue spends the rest of the metalorn arc absolutely drenched in caf. He does his little sales pitch to corvanus presumably covered in duracrete dust and definitely caf. The fact that it almost kinda worked is a miracle basically I guess people are just taken aback by being talked at loudly and confidently by a dude who looks like he’s barely out of middle school

- Zero drawling “You’re just so wildly efficient” on his and Blue’s private line is extremely… it’s very…. Several points in this first episode where you’re just like ‘HOW! HOW are they not already fucking’ lol. (To which the answer seems to be: Probably because Blue does not seem entirely clear on what sex is yet. Man the BDSM Dear Bluebird sure was a ride but it also explains so much) He’s just talking about how he’s going to get paid to watch Blue smile. Keep it in your pants Agent Zero you’re in Louphan’s office fhdsjkah

- “Zero, just — honestly. Did I act unprofessionally or rash in this situation?”

(sounding slightly defeated) “We didn’t act any differently than we normally do. It’s just that —”

Why is this so funny to me. So that really is just how they’ve been rolling through the galaxy is it. This is just how they live.

- The immediate shift in tone between Zero and Blue once Synox leaves the room so they’re in private and Zero freely freaking out is everything to me fhdsjakfhas it’s so… domestic. Like they’re both putting up public fronts for Synox and then collapsing into unvarnished intimate back and forth chaos the moment they’re alone.

Z: “HE DIDN’T MOVE AT ALL!”

B: [giddy]: “I know, it was really badass!”

Z: [indignant] “What, are you kidding me, are you on the droid’s side??”

B: [still equally giddy] “Well, clearly I’m not!”

I think Blue just gets off on seeing Zero do cool stuff honestly lol

- Zero, turning to Synox: “If you draw a gun on him again, you lose that hand” SO sexy. Oh to have someone who will back you unconditionally even when you are 100% for sure the problem in this situation hahaha. Oh to feel that ride or die certainty for someone. Oh to be that utterly selfish.

- I am making But if you saw him when he isn’t putting on that front… it’s worth it. Somehow do so much work in this fic I am taking so many things on faith but also I think I am right to. Zero might be besotted but he’s also not a fool, if Blue was genuinely a nightmare to deal with interpersonally (like one on one) most of the time I don’t think he would have stuck it out this long haha. Considering that the minister posting is a relatively new development I could see all that stress exacerbating what was already a less than pleasant/stable personality at the outset

- relistening to campaign from the beginning and getting to zero’s introduction scene again is such a ride. The first time around you’re just sitting there in ‘uh-oh leenik!!!!’ dread and then the second time my reaction was ‘AW LOOK IT’S MY GOOD GOOD FRIEND AGENT ZERO :D OMG HI’ as he walks away drenched in blood fhsakjd

His BIG SIGH at blue talking to him over comms and telling him to stand down… there’s a little bit of early appearance weirdness going on with him in the beginning (like his weird growly voice hfsjkda) but that is pitch perfect. That is spiritually correct for him.

- Zero (breaking Aava off during a Dear Bluebird where a Sith-adjacent sort of person is asking what to do with their murderous underling): “You give ‘em something to do, keep their hands busy. But also, you gotta think about why this person is insisting to kill so many people. Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re otherwise not giving him? These are all things that can feed into outlashing — acting out, taking out your aggression on something else. Whether that be meaningless tasks, or the blood of another species.”

Aava: “Absolutely! It’s a master/student relationship, and if you’re not being an adequate master to this person, then to my mind they have full right to rebel.”

Zero: “They gotta get satisfied some way.” [transcriber’s note: GOTTA GET SATISFIED SOME WAY that’s how you chose to phrase it is it? I was willing to let ‘Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re not giving him?’ go, but ZERO!!! BUDDY!!!!!]

Blue: “...Zero, do we need to — do we need to have a conversation? You’ve flipped the last three Scrabble boards, and now, based on, on your answer — you okay? You getting everything? Do we need to do Sunday night ice cream again? What’s going on with you, buddy? Huh?”

Zero: “Sometimes, the Bluebird isn’t as big as you think. And I just kind of want to stretch out, and there’s so many training sessions going on all the time, and everyone’s stuck to such a very strict regimen, and there’s only so many places where you can get alone time, and then you installed the morning announcements, and I don’t wake up when you wake up. And you wake up before anybody ever should wake up.”

Rare Synox and Blue bonding over being the most sleepless bitches on this ship by design lol. Listen blue I’ll believe that synox is just built different but you’re going to have a heart attack before you reach thirty pls sort this out I don’t want to see zero be a widower

- Lore note: Zero does not like Scrabble fhdskjfhas. Space Scrabble, presumably. Sprabble.

- both zero and blue noticing synox getting triggered by seeing a battle droid in the metalorn arc and stopping what they’re doing to check in with him is. Kind of sweet actually

- today I found out that the guiness world record for an ensemble of stringed instruments is 1021 people playing at the same time. so I think blue was actually being admirably restrained and everyone owes him a big apology (I jest(er) of course no one should ever apologize to blue for anything)

- B: “I think that’s something we can all agree with. Right, Aava?”

A: “Why are you looking at me?”

B: “I’m looking at you because I don’t think you support this.”

A: “Stop.”

B: [Suspicious/incredulous] “Hmm.”

A: “Look at Zero.”

B: “I’m not gonna look at Zero.”

A: “You like looking at Zero.”

B: “I do like looking at Zero. I’m gonna glance over there, but I’m coming right back.”

Z: [ :) ] “Hi.”

B: “‘Sup. [Beat] Aava, you need to answer the question.”

A: [Innocently] “What was the question?”

B: [Clearly derailed from one quick peek Zero-ward, laughing] “I’m… not really sure.”

What a GIFT, best setup of all time followed by slam dunk no notes

- “You just said we need a heads result, I give you a heads result!” Love, Blue style. He will rig a coin flip to let you kill someone you really wanted to kill

- Synox going “Zero doesn’t have any rank, it wouldn’t matter if we killed him” in the background is so underestimated both in terms of hilarity and awfulness fhsdja

- Zero’s very carefully neutral statement about Blue’s fashion sense pre-jester reveal that “You are definitely the one of us wearing the most layers” fasdkjha

- I’m going to take Zero’s after-gala ‘where are they now’ segment as definitive proof he and Blue worked it out very quickly after that night. Your honor, I summon the panini metaphor for making love (notably not having sex. Making love.) from the Dear Mynock in episode 70 as evidence for my case, and now I shall rest it safe in the knowledge that at least spiritually I am Right thank you and good night.

He made a panini. It was good :) good for him <3

- Z: “Blue and You! Write that down!” haha awww he sounds so genuinely excited! Maybe one day when their relationship could stand up to this utmost challenge they could be a musical duo (orchestral string music and edm/house would be. It would be something as a combination.)

- Dear Bluebirds outside of Evil Campaign:

Episode 60

Episode 73 (fashion one, jester supremacy. If you haven’t seen this animatic of that one before, please give yourself a treat and do so now, it’s one of my favorite things in the whole world)

Episode 79 (Phindar takeover)

Episode 83 (it’s the BDSM one fjsadkl)

- Basically I think what I’m trying to say is that the Bluebird crew are a group of very bad people whose sole saving grace and hope for salvation from themselves is that they love each other. And I wrote a lot of words about that and had a lot of feelings. Thank you to the Campaign podcast for getting me through 2023, I'm very grateful.

#campaign star wars #evil campaign #zeblue #agent zero #minister blue #aava arek #commander synox #listen. I often say I am on my bullshit but rarely have I been so completely and all on my lonesomely on my bullshit as this #meta #in the very loosest sense at least there are some actual thoughts inbetween all the key smashing and dunking on blue (affectionate)#this has been my emotional support google doc for almost a year now I'm almost sad to see it go haha #my heart is in these very silly words

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captaintrio · 1 year

Note

Zoro and Sanji for the ask game <3

You are a wonder and a dear, thank you for this <3

1: sexuality headcanon

Zoro: I think Zoro is like. THE posterboy for demisexual. demisexual, demiromantic, the whole thing, I don't think gender makes much of a difference to him in terms of attraction but he's gotta know you and trust you, he's gotta be invested first or he just doesn't think of folks that way.

Sanji: the ultimate bisexual disaster case. He and Ace and Shanks all attend the same "gorgeous pitiful bisexual disaster" support group, as a small aside.

2: otp

other than x me...

Zoro: I think probably ZoLu or ZoSan, tho likely leaning more in the direction of Luffy based solely on ration of Fics I Have Chosen to Read lmao. There is just something about the way they met and it took Zoro exactly 24 business hours to be like "my life and my sword for your cause," the way they just. get each other, half the time without even needing to speak, the softness and solidarity of it all. Just gets me, ya know.

Sanji: SanLu or ZoSan (are you sensing a pattern lmfao). In general maaaybe SanLu bc like. I think Sanji is very much inside himself about his own worth and place in the world, and Luffy is like. Relentless (as he is with everyone he loves and cares for) about reaching down into that pit and pulling Sanji out into the sun over and over again and there's just smth really lovely about that. Monster Trio OT3 is lovely soft times I feel.

3: brotp

Zoro: Chopper oh my god. He's the lil dude's big brother, his dad, his bestie, please listen to me every MOMENT of their interactions breathes new life into my rotten dusty soul. Also Nami, they met and were like "ah. my long lost sibling. what if I killed you" and have such a wonderful dynamic.

Sanji: Chopper also, tho not quite to the degree that Zoro is. Also, altho probably a controversial opinion, I really like his relationship with Robin. I don't wanna spoil anything (in case you or anyone reading is watching/gonna watch) but there's a particular arc in which the only person more relentless than he is about bringing her home is Luffy, like. I think he's a wonderful sweet boy all around but smth about his gentleness with Robin really warms my heart.

4: notp

Zoro: Nami, they are just. SO so sibling coded to me like. Perona for the same reason tbph, they're Mihawk's adopted goth siblings and I can't really extricate that from my brain. Mihawk. For that matter. That's basically his dad. (Not yucking anyone's yum idc what other people ship tbph but I don't like these ones personally)

Sanji: I've just sat here staring into space for like five minutes trying to think of smth. I haven't seen much of anything for him that really yucks me out (unless I'm just blanking which like. happens. I have the brain of a 90 year old), but I guess like. Not notp-levels exactly but I don't really get SanUsopp or SanLaw? The latter might just be a "wait til you get to Wano" situation like so many other things, but yeah.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Zoro: saw a post a while back that was someone's headcanon about Zoro lending out his earrings to his crewmates for like. especially dangerous missions, or to give them a lil confidence boost, or as a promise that he would make it back from something scary, and that's stuck in my brain so hard its basically canon for me, so yeah.

Sanji: I think he's basically a nutritionist in everything but paper certification, above and beyond just making sure his crew is fed and goes to bed with full tummies he is SO dialed in to what they like and what their systems are sensitive to and what they need for training/devil fruit powers/etc like. It's not just "here I have made this hearty delicious meal that covers all the food groups" he makes a bunch of different meals catered to everyone's needs, he gets it.

6: favorite line from this character

Zoro: "That's what it means to be Captain, isn't it. Don't lose yourself. If you waver, who can we trust?"

Sanji: "Leave this guy's key to me, I'll do what you cant do; you do what I can't do. Think carefully! Read the situation. If you're here, there's got to be a way Robin-chan can be saved! Usopp!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Zoro: TERMINAL sleepyhead disorder. Tired all the time, sleeping in the background of every scene.

Sanji: I'm capable and competent while simultaneously having no sense of self-worth whatsoever. ya know.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Zoro: Where!!! Is he ever going??? He gets lost while MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH THE SHIP. MULTIPLE TIMES. Babygirl beloved I'm BEGGING you rn...

Sanji: I mean. I'm just gonna say Fishman Island and leave it at that. (They brought him back from the timeskip a completely different person and I'm STILL waiting for him to return from the war...)

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

They're BOTH cinnamon rolls in my heart, but I am aware like. Sanji technically falls into the problematic fave category for like. myriad reasons.

#av answers #longist post under the cut #mysdrym #thank you for the ask friend this was wonderful to do c:#OP #Zoro #Sanji

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 1 year

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Hehehe (¬‿¬)

Robb/Jeyne W

Ramsay/Theon/Jeyne P

Mel/Selyse

Beric/Thoros

And a single unproblematic one:

Grenn/Pyp

Hi Tânia...

R0ßß x Jeyne (W)

I really liked your interpretation of them + a few other authors, but what attracts me the most of it is the mystery in the relationship and since fandom has decided to hold a very (almost insultingly in my opinion) idealistic view of R0ßß it has lost some of it's appeal for me. Weirdly enough I still love them a lot, because they embody some aspects of Germanicus & Agrippina, a couple that I really love. And I overall really like Jeyne and how courageous she is. So yeah, my problem comes mostly from the R0ßß's characterisation always being that of a selfless saint who sacrifices himself for her honour (or worse, gets roofied).

Theon x Ramsay x Jeyne (P)

“oh my god, we have the same abusive boyfriend”

hellish polycule. I hate it. I genuinely hate Ramsay so much. People keep making Theon the whump protagonist in fanwork by having him suffer, but I want Ramsay to be my whump protagonist. I can't stand that motherfucker. I hope he has the least climactic death in the story because he is simply not worth it. I don't want neither Theon nor Jeyne to ever come near him again because him dying while thinking that they are gone and safe is my favourite fantasy. It would be a huge slight for him.

On the other hand, this is kind of canon and I enjoy all the canon. I love the canon ships for what they are which, in this case, is plain horror. I want to gorge my eyes out whenever I think of it. They make me want to scream. The dynamic in fanwork is less interesting to me because most of the time it just ends up being gratuitous smut or Theon being in love with Jeyne during their captivity which is a huge no for me. (No hate to anyone who enjoys either of those things, they are just boundaries) but if written as in canon (that is implicitly and as horror), then yeah, I'd read a fic.

But viewed through a less serious lens Ramsay CANONICALLY and simultaneously acts as the matchmaker, the third wheel, and the sicko lurking on the window I can't-

Melisandre x Selyse

I read it as one-sided canon. It's probably not intended by GRRM, but I do. I know for many people this is a mostly comedic ship not to be taken too seriously or the one they use to write $tav0s without having to fully disregard the women, but... Repressed sapphic who is head over heels for a religious extremist who wouldn't hesitate at burning her alive if her god demanded it...oh how relatable. + there is the entire topic of faith

Beric x Thoros

I really love the themes of reborn faith at the sight of someone who is a living miracle. I know it's not a healthy thing in real life, but I love exploring the idea of someone finding a purpose and a cause in the world because of one (1) single person who reignites long-forsaken hope in another. Especially if that person dies later on. + a bit of borderline necrophilia meets Robin Hood. @/mylestoye described them once as:

"this is my lover I’ve pulled him from the arms of death six times & though every time he’s a bit more faded & a bit more lost I feel I can’t let him go, he is a symbol of my religion he reawakened my belief & faith, I will follow him & care for him for as long as I can"

Grenn x Pypar

"If Pyp wanted to call me aurochs, though, he could. Or you, or Jon." - Sam II, ASOS

I know it's completely insignificant and GRRM didn't think anything while writing it, but I loved that division. Two sentences. Not one. He had to add it as an afterthought. I remember there was someone on AO3 who wrote exclusively for them in English and Spanish and I used to compare the translations trying to analyse the text. Need to revisit those. They just give me warm happy feelings

#theostrichsdaughter #it's sweet of you to remember pyp and grenn it's one of the few ones I still really like.#threyne #I guess #melisandre x selyse #beric x thoros #Grenn x Pypar

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tvlandofficial · 2 years

Note

Can I just say I love how the TV keeps getting plugged and unplugged in this blog’s canon

Like. Most people would assume that it’s been unplugged for years until just getting plugged back in in Chapter 2 for whatever reason,

But honestly one thing I’ve wanted to talk about for a while but never know how to word is how the reason fan content of future Chapters never really hits the same way the real thing does is because of assumptions like that. Unlike Toby, who already knows what he’s gonna do with everything, we as the fans don’t typically take the opportunity to build off of small stuff like that, or just add new things to old characters instead of simply recycling what we currently have. Despite the fact that a lot of things we didn’t know in Chapter 1 actually came from things we did know, like how when you see the knockoff controller for the console under Kris’s bed, you’re supposed to assume that it was used by them as yet another visual display of their inferiority complex, only to find out that it was actually used by Asriel so they could have the real one. Or how it was revealed in Chapter 2 that Alphys’s “Cat” is actually Susie. Or how Queen’s sipping noises from Chapter 4 were never shown off or foreshadowed previously, they were just made up on the spot because her whacky personality allows for that kind of randomness, and in turn, also makes it kinda off-brand for her to not have new stuff. The thing about the plug is especially synonymous with the first thing ‘cause the whole extra lore about Toriel being some kinda god basically hinges on it

Overall, I’d say it’s safe to say adding small new things and building off of small old things is a decent chunk of what makes DR as good as it is, and without that, it just feels like something’s missing

Not that that’s not understandable. Coming up with your own shit can be pretty hard, especially if you’re not planning on covering a full Chapter’s worth of content. Plus the concern about how poorly stuff like that might age, considering what happened with Mike- Shit I’m getting side tracked

Anyway yeah, I like how this blog’s take on the Chapter has a neat detail like that

this is so sweet, thank you anon! 😭 like ive said before i dont wanna knock other people's fan chapters - the creativity in this fandom is really great and i love seeing what people come up with! there's a lot of it that i haven't really been able to keep up with, and lots of ocs that seem to have popped up because one person made a cool little idea and people latched on. but for tvland, i wanted to keep it tied to the game as we know it as much as i can, even with the nature of this kind of thing making a lot of it have to rely on my own creativity and headcanons. a lot of people have told me tvland is somewhat unique in that regard, so i'm glad everything people have been coming up with seems to be their own!

kris unplugging tenna and throwing out all their things bc of how they sympathize w the darkners is an idea ive gotten more and more attached to as time goes on. i can't know exactly what's going on in toby's head, but i like to write the blog as though someone handed me deltarune as an unfinished game and went "how would this end?" the big line of the game is "no one can choose who they are in this world", and i'm sure people who've been following and will keep following me and @officialralsei have probably picked up on where that theme pops up again and again. i don't want to show my whole hand when it comes to what i'm doing here, since i am telling a story at the end of the day, but the two of us spend so much time going over the darkner stuff in the game with a fine-tooth comb that i at least hope i made a satisfying continuation to it here.

in the end, this tenna won't be canon. but she means a lot to me, and it seems like a lot of people love her! if it turns out she's a totally different character in canon, we can just pretend this one is her long-lost cousin or something :P

#ooc #long post #WOW. thank you anon

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kats-chaotic-wonderland · 1 year

Text

Clone adoption Agency

So, this is a Star wars thing my friend and I have been writing. It's not exactly strict on canon, but it is wholesome and fun. The entire story is meant to give something of an alt timeline where things go better for the clones, a lot don't get killed, more get loving relationships and happy homes, and basically the events that caused the original movies get subverted. If that's not your thing I totally get it, but if you're up for some wholesome clone stories mixed with some fun drama and romantic shenanigans. This is for you. It's mostly about Kaviir and her mother Vette, and the clones they trained on Kamino. So I hope you enjoy the first chapter.

Also feel free to ask any questions about anything you're not familiar with. You can definitely understand the story without a lot of star wars knowledge, but I'm happy to elaborate!

//THIS IS YOUR WARNING, I HAVE MOSTLY DISREGARDED CANNON. THIS IS FOR FUN. NO I AM NOT SORRY. NO I AM NOT CHANGING IT.//

Chapter 1

Ten years pre Geonosis.

The rains over Tipoca City poured hard that day, as Jango stood on the deck yard, waiting for the crew of the new ship to disembark. If it weren't for his armor, he likely would have been shivering in the cold. This planet was terrible, all rain and sterile hallways. No, Jango couldn’t say he was fond of the place he’d be spending his next ten years. But what they offered him was worth every storm and drop of blood. After a few more minutes, he was pulled from his thoughts as two figures stepped off of the old mando ship. Both women, one in her thirties, tall, wearing armor he’d come to know all too well. While the other appeared to be no older than seven, holding tightly to the woman's hand and squinting through the rain as they headed towards him. Fett walked up to the pair and pulled off his helmet, “Vette, it’s good to see you, ner’vod.”

“You too, Jango.” She picked up the young girl and placed her on her hip, “It’s been over a decade now, yeah? Thought you were dead after your headhunting of the Bando Gora?”

“Not exactly.” He smiled, leading them out of the rain, “Who’s this?”

“Kaviir. My daughter.” She shifted the young girl's weight to sit on her hip.

The girl looked sleepy, as she cuddled against her mother. Her eyes were dropping slightly, he guessed from the exhaustion of the trip.

“Kid?” Jango sounded surprised, “Who’s the fa-“ he was cut off as Vette raised her hand.

“Adopted Fett. You know I’m not interested in the old fashioned methods.”

“Fair.” He nodded, then looked to her with a serious expression. His lips pursed into a tight line, “Well, then we need to settle this before we go any further.”

Vette narrowed her eyes at him, “Jango… what’s going on?”

“I did take that job for the Bando Gora, and I completed it. Five million credits, but… I lost Roz.”

“Oh, Jango… I’m sorry.” Vette said gently, she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. He relaxed a little at that, the two had trained together at a young age. And while there was nothing romantic between them, she had a way of making him feel much better. This was what made him reach out to her, but seeing her daughter, he was questioning if he should have.

“It happens, it’s part of the job… afterwards, I was approached by the man who hired me.”

“Tyrannus?” Vette raised an eyebrow.

“You know him?” Fett sounded surprised.

“I got offered the job too, for the hunt of Komari Vosa.”

“You turned it down?”

“Had bigger priorities.” Vette began to lightly bounce the girl up and down.

“Right.” Jango nodded, “Well, here’s the hard part… I can’t tell you what’s next, until you agree to become cuy’val Dar.”

The girl felt Vette tense as a scowl crossed her face, “You got some nerve, Fett…”

"What's that?" Kaviir asked softly.

“One who no longer exists.” Vette spoke softly and brushed the girl's hair out of her face, “It means we wouldn’t be going home.”

"Oh..." She said quietly,"Ever?"

“Maybe someday… but it won’t be the one we recognize.”

“Twenty five million.” Jango spoke up.

“What?” Vette looked at Jango, her eyes widened in surprise, “Twenty five million?”

“The price is high, and it comes from me… not some unknown source. On top of room, board and anything else you need.”

Vette looked between Jango and Kaviir. With that kind of money, she’d never have to worry about taking care of her daughter again. She could give Kaviir any life she wanted. Kaviir looked up at her,"Will you be okay so far from home?" She asked her voice soft, concerned.

“Wherever we go, kav’ika… when I’m with you I’m at home.” She nuzzled her cheek, “What do you say? Want to take that first step on our next adventure?”

She nodded,"Yeah, I think we can handle it."

Vette nodded, “Alright, Fett… let’s hear it.”

“Well… how much do you know about cloning?”

----------------------------------------------------------

Another hour had passed, Vette and Kaviir had heard the entirety of what all Jango had been up to. From the jobs, to the clones, to why the Cuy’val Dar were needed. Vette sighed and raked her fingers through her hair, “Fierfek, Jango. What’s this really about?”

“A chance at immortality.” Fett shrugged, his tone sarcastic,“An army of warriors crafted in my image? What’s not to love?”

Kaviir looked rather confused by it all, and had more or less passed out in Vette’s arms about halfway through. She was clinging to her mother as she slept soundly. Jango smiled and pet the girl's hair, “Decided it was time, eh?”

“Yeah… figured it was time to live for something other than the money.” She smiled and softly kissed Kaviir’s forehead, “Can’t afford to live in the fast lane like some of us.”

“Well, it’s funny you say that.” He smiled as the doors opened and a young boy, spitting image of Jango, yawned and walked up to him. “Dad… I'm tired…”

“Bloody o’sik.” Vette laughed, “You too, eh?”

“Yeah… this is Boba…” he smiled proudly and ruffled the boy's hair.

The noise stirred Kaviir, she let out a soft whine and sat up rubbing her eye,"Mom..."

Vette smiled and stroked the girl's hair, “Shhhhhh, hun. Just meeting some of the other kids.”

"Kids?" She asked, still fuzzy from sleep as she looked around.

Boba was now staring at her, holding his dad's hand, he looked no older than two or three. Vette softly chuckled and kissed Kaviir on the cheek, “This is Boba. Jango’s son.”

She looked down at him and gave him a small wave.

The boy waved back to her and returned a similar smile. “Hi, I’m Boba.”

"Kaviir..." She yawned in quite an adorable fashion.

“Alright.” Vette chuckled, “I know that yawn means it’s time for bed.” She stood up and pulled the girl close, “We can go over the details later, but yes, we’re in.”

Jango nodded and held Boba in his arms, “Agreed. You two have had a long trip.” They walked into the hallway, and split to head to their separate rooms. Jango paused and smiled towards Vette, “Ner’vod… thank you, for coming. I mean it. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, Fett.” Vette smiled. They lingered like that for a moment, they could both feel the question hanging in the air. Were they making the right choice? Neither would know until it was all over. Vette turned and made her way into her and Kaviir’s room.

------------------------------------------------------

It was white, like a hospital room. Everything in this blasted place was. Vette frowned as she stepped into the apartment they had been given. The furniture was clearly not configured for humans, but they would make do. She walked into the main bedroom. It wasn’t much, just the basics. Clearly the room was set up for two. It would do. She went to the bed further from the windows and set Kaviir down for the first time since they landed. Kaviir held onto her hand as she rubbed her eye,"is this our room?"

“Mhmm.” She poked her nose, “Get cleaned up and get to bed. You did well today, so I think you can get some extra sleep tomorrow, okay?”

"Kay..." She yawned,"Mom..."

“Yes, my little Nexu?” She nodded as she began to pop her armor off and let her hair down.

"This place smells funny..." Kaviir mumbled sleepily.

“It’s a new place, hun. There’s a lot of funny things we’re going to have to acclimate ourselves to.” She helped Kaviir to the freshers to wash her face and began brushing out her hair, “But… Jango has about one hundred mandalorians working with us, so we’ll have a bit of home as well.”

"All the furniture is funny too." She grumbled looking up at her in the mirror.

“Think so?” Vette asked, “Maybe we can get some furniture to make this place feel more like home.” She stripped down into a sleeveless top and some shorts. She wasn’t quite comfortable in this place, but she trusted Jango enough to let herself get some sleep,“Definitely going to need to get some actual food. You’re a growing girl, you need to eat healthy.”

Kaviir nodded and tugged on her pajamas before she crawled into bed,"How long are we going to be here?"

Vette paused for a moment, having doubts about all of this. “I… I don’t know, sweetheart.” She sighed, “Ten years… maybe longer, but once we’re done, we’ll have enough money to go wherever we want.”

"That's a long time to not exist." She yawned in that adorable child way that just made Vette smile.

“It will pass, soon enough. And besides, Jango said we can leave every now and then, so we can still celebrate your birthdays… and life day.” She added, doing her best to focus on the positives.

"yay!" Kaviir yawned and curled up in bed. Vette smiled as she leaned over and kissed her daughter good night. She stretched her arms up and went over to her bed to fall asleep.

At some point during the night a clap of thunder woke Kaviir. She wasn't crying, but she sleepily crawled into bed with Vette. As she settled, Vette’s maternal instincts kicked in as she set herself between Kaviir and the window, she tucked the girl in and wrapped her own body into a crescent shape around her daughter, giving her most of the blanket as she let herself drift back off. Feeling far more content in her mothers arms, Kaviir fell into a comfortable sleep for the rest of the night.

-----------------------------------------------------

Well, if you read all of that, I hope you enjoyed it! It's a slow start but I really enjoyed writing this. The next chapter will be up soon. And if you decide you want to keep up with it I'll link future chapters below.

Chapter 2

Thank you!!

Star Wars Master Post

Clone Adoption Agency Navigation

Image: Vette holding Kaviir, by me.

#star wars oc #star wars #the mandalorian #mandolorian oc #mandolorian #clone wars oc #clone commando oc #republic commando #star wars fan fiction #fanfic #clone adoption Agency

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comatosebunny09 · 1 year

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So...this is me coming to your inbox with info about a fic. I've been working on this Kyojuro x oc fic called The Sacrifice. It's based off of a) my unwillingness to accept Kyo's canon fate, b) the idea of a higher power(s) deciding to intervene...(The prequel is called The Offering.) and c) my love of throwing ocs into terrible situations and new universes lol. Ultimately, it's a story about choices and the repercussions of them, about sacrifice and what we give for those we love, as well as one of dealing with guilt, longing and coming to terms with loss.

This is one of my fave scenes so far:

“Why did you engage with it? Taunt it?” Kit moves forward, already tired of this conversation. She drops down in the chair that she’s sat in for weeks. “My mouth cashed a cheque I had to deliver on.” That’s not the right phrase, but she ignores it. The confusion on his face makes it worth it. “I spoke without thinking. All I wanted was to keep the attention off of Cora.” “You were nearly killed!” “In case you didn’t notice, I’m fine. You’re the one who was beaten down hard enough to knock you into a coma.” “You were not meant to be there!” Kit inhales sharply at the accusation. She knows that. She knows that so fucking well that it eats at her every day, every moment that she’s here. The frustration of losing function in her hand, at being forced to face the knowledge that this is wrong, burns through her. She stands up, shoving the chair back. “You sound pretty ungrateful considering I saved your ass!” He frowns at her. “Your efforts were unneeded. You put yourself and others in danger with your actions.” “Are you kidding? Look at yourself. You’ve been asleep for weeks! You lost an eye! You got lucky that I showed up and got involved! If I hadn’t caused enough of a distraction, you would have died!” "Then I should have died! As I was meant to!" The sound she lets out is somewhere between a scoff and a huff of laughter. "Wow. You have no idea, do you? Do you know how many people have thanked me for being there, for helping, all because it ensured that you lived? People I've never met before have thanked me. Your brother begged me to watch over you as you recover and you think you should have died? Out of everything I've heard about you, Rengoku-san, no one has said that you're selfish. I guess they are wrong.”

Hope you don't mind me sharing! I just love them and how they're both so stubborn and determined to protect the ones they care about (and getting annoyed that the other keeps throwing themselves into danger lol).

I swear I replied to this earlier this morning. I’m so mad. Anyways, like I was spazzing about before…

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! I love when two idiots in love are hard headed and willing to risk it all to save each other. 😩😩😩🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾✨✨✨ I eat that shit for breakfast!!!

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catalists · 3 years

Text

Chrome’s shadowgast fic rec list, vol 1

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own obsession with wizards. I might make another one of these eventually if y’all keep churning out absolute bangers, but in the meantime, here is a list of my top Shadowgast fic recs.

One rule here: I’m limiting this to one fic per author--but many people on this list have a broader oeuvre you should definitely check out.

Your disclaimer: this is not a full literature review, but rather my personal favorites. Caveat lector!

* = fic is rated M or E

sleeping in the shadow of an other self by nonwal | @nonwal

Essek has a moment to consider that gravity-based trust exercises have never worked for him, and then the spell hits. He leans back into it, falls, falls.

(In which Essek is resurrected by the Mighty Nein and framed for innocence.)

Okay, listen. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out. There’s a reason it’s at the top of the list. 30k of absolutely phenomenal characterization of not only Shadowgast but all the M9 and the coolest plot to ever plot. Not only a fantastic first read, but a phenomenal re-read as well.

multitudinous echoes awoke and died in the distance by mousecookie | @ariadne-mouse

Caleb takes a step forward and stumbles. As he catches himself he realizes something very odd. His hands are shadowy and translucent. His whole body is a shadow, in fact. If he holds his palm up to the sky, he can see the stars twinkling faintly through it.

Sharp talons of panic dig into his chest. He feels solid - if he grabs his own wrist, he has mass, but it is wrong. Everything is wrong. What is happening?

Prepare Fireball, commands a voice in his head.

The voice is familiar.

It takes him a moment to realize it’s familiar because it’s his.

An absolutely fabulous pre-relationship fic, written before the end of the show but you wouldn’t know it from how perfectly it nails the dynamic. Ariadne has written a ton of other fabulous Shadowgast fics and I encourage you to read them all--I’m just limiting this list to one fic per author to try and cover more ground.

Great Minds by bluebirdsongs

Essek uses more high-level dunamancy in battle, and Caleb tries to reverse-engineer it when he can't sleep. AKA What if we were both wizards and I cast Tether Essence on us to save your life?

This is a gorgeous fic, both for how it handles Caleb and Essek’s conversation--with profound deftness--and for the treatment of magic-as-math. A beautiful exploration of both dunamancy and Caleb and Essek.

to make a cradle of your palm* by renquise

Essek offers Caleb his spellbook, open to the page of a new spell.

As Caleb suspected, his adaptation of Essek's gravity spell was different in its conception, for all that the result was the same. The architecture of this similar spell speaks of a different thought process, a different set of basic assumptions. It is beautifully engineered, efficient in its use of components and energy: a simple spell requiring only a length of silk thread and yet capable of reaching over a great distance and causing great damage, if applied with intent to harm.

“If you would like, you can, ah. You may—" Essek gestures at his own throat, a quick, inelegant spread of fingers. "Test the application of pressure that the spell exerts."

It takes Caleb a moment to register what Essek is proposing. He is a delicate speaker, as always.

Oh man, this one just goes for the jugular (ha) in the most perfect way. The prose here, like everything renquise writes, is absolutely masterful, and the tension between Caleb and Essek is exquisitely rendered.

fist-fighting with fire just to get close to you by kaeda | @the-kaedageist

Caleb caught Essek’s eye across the dome, and Essek returned his small smile. “It would seem that it is trickier than expected to keep things on a…private channel,” Essek thought at him.

“Unfortunately,” Caleb replied.

“Unfortunately for all of us,” Fjord interjected.

(Spoilers for campaign 2, episode 138)

Kate has a fabulous gift for getting the Mighty Nein’s voices exactly right, and this fic is no exception. This takes the hive mind/telepathy of the eyes to its hilarious, heart-warming, logical conclusion and it’s an absolute joy to read.

(perhaps i may) elaborate by demonstration* by marsastronomica | @marsastronomica

After the second fight, they rest again. There’s still time left in the day, and they may as well push as far as they can. Essek and Caleb find time between action to talk. And negotiate.

This one is an absolute banger. The flirting! The tension! The incredible intense game of chicken that Essek and Caleb are playing this whole fic...it’s amazing, you can hear the dialogue in their voices, this is another one that I read and then had to tell everyone about. And now I’m telling you about. Go read it, it kicks ass.

I’ve been lost before (and I’m lost again, I guess)* by toneofjoy

Caleb has plans to take down his old coaches. Essek has secrets. They climb rocks, make new friends, explore professional boundaries, learn about consequences, and maybe even fall in love. It’s the Shadowgast climbing AU.

AUs can be a tough sell for me, but this one’s not. Half the joy in this is the fabulously vivid world that is built by the author who absolutely knows the ins and outs of competitive climbing and expertly shares it with the reader. The other half is the beautiful growing relationship between Caleb and Essek, which is a consistent joy to read. It’s still a WIP, but I promise it’s worth reading along.

the other things that make us* by saturday_sky | @saturdaysky

Essek returns, when he can, to the sanctuary of Caleb's home. The peace of it is a balm against the tedious peril of the road, which has more misery to share than Essek had ever thought. It's nice to have a place where he can lose himself: in a book, in arcane study, in the confusing allure of Caleb's smile.

It's nice. And the cats miss him, Caleb says.

[First chapter is a complete story. Second chapter will be a follow-up epilogue to it.]

This one hurts in the best possible way. I can’t highlight my favorite bits without giving it away, but the emotional beats of this absolutely beautiful post-canon fic are top-notch and the reveal of information is perfectly executed.

darkness to me is only water to the sea by treeviality

Essek knows how his story ends. There is a place in Rexxentrum where executions are carried out, wooden steps leading up to a wooden platform. There hangs a noose, swaying lightly in northern wind, while polished cobblestones shine bright in golden light.

There will be birds, Essek imagines, and when the lever is pulled and gravity takes hold of him one last time, he hopes they take flight.

This now-AU take on Essek being arrested is lyrical and beautiful and the author has a tremendous grasp of language and also how to rip your heart straight out of your chest and then gently replace it.

---

And, if you’re still looking for fic, I have a few, but one of my favorites is:

we never do go over (we always gotta go through) by Chrome

In the last fight with the Tombtakers, Essek Thelyss bends reality to keep them all alive and pays the price. As he copes with the aftereffects of his own magic and the party takes the long journey back to the surface, Essek and Caleb finally confront what they are to each other.

or,

Five times Essek woke up with level(s) of exhaustion and one time he didn't.

#shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critical role #cr fic #cr fic recs #fic recs #fic rec #cr

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thesunicarusfellfor · 3 years

Text

Safe With Me (Yandere!Plat!C!Ranboo x F!Reader) 1/???

Before we start this fic, I am stating that this is a completely fictitious version of CHARACTER Ranboo, and does not involve the streamer. If this is overstepping boundaries (which I don't think it is..?) This story will be removed.

NOTE: IRL I’M A TECHNO APOLOGIST DON'T GUT ME FOR THIS STORY

ALSO THE SCREWED UP FONT IS RANBOO'S CHAT

TW: canon lives lost, blood, yandere

He was always there for you...

Without a single doubt it your mind, you knew you could turn to the Enderman hybrid and... Be safe.

He would do anything for you..

Even if it put himself in danger..

He would rather himself be covered in scars and on his last canon life than for you to have a single wound on your (s/t) coloured skin...

But even he knows that isn't possible...

You had been walking for quite awhile, but in your eyes, it was worth it. Ranboo had invited you to the Tundra to get away from life for a bit and it was perfect honestly! You had started becoming stressed out from figuring out where the other nuke was, and Ranboo had practically appeared at your side, suggesting you get away from the situation for your own well-being.

He invited you to the Tundra where he, Phil and Techno lived, telling you to disregard his neighbours and just have a sleep over with him there as the mansion wasn't finished. But... You were quite afraid of Technoblade..

While he wasn't completely wrong in his lectures before he.. You know.. destroyed everything everyone worked for... He didn't have to go about it via bloodshed, withers and taking one of yours and Tubbo's canon lives! Plus... He most likely would hate you for having a seat on the council when both Schlatt and Tubbo were in control of L'manberg...

"(Y/n)!" A happy voice rung out through the trees, causing you to shake your head to free yourself from you thoughts. Running at you though the snow was the tall and forgetful hybrid known as Ranboo.

Once he got close enough, you could hear him making soft 'brrrr'ing sounds, like a happy enderman, which caused you to smile, "Ranboo, my beloved!" You joked which caused a small laugh to escape from him, "It's been so long!"

The two of you began to chat happily as he led you to his home that was buried in the cliffs of the snowy biome. Both of you were so caught up in your conversation that you hardly realized when a gruff and deep voice called the name of your platonic husband.

If he had colour to his face, Ranboo's features would've drained completely of any hue. You both looked over to see the tall pink haired piglin hybrid standing proudly in his cape and crown, with an enchanted netherite axe in his dominant hand.

Well... At least he was given you a chance to speak.

"Why have you brought... Her... Here?" The man wearing the monarch outfit growled lowly, saying 'her' with such hesitation that he made you realize what he wanted to say.

"You wanted to say 'Why have you brought the government here,' didn't you?" A hiss escaped past your lips before you could even stop it. Even Ranboo turned to you with a petrified expression, "I'll have you know, I am a person."

"Ranboo! This is betrayal!" Techno snarled, almost completely ignoring your words as he reinstated his grip on his weapon.

The monochrome coloured man stuttered for words for a moment before clearing his throat, "She isn't a part of the government anymore. She has been working with Captain Puffy to take down the Eggpire and I invited her out here to relax." He stated calmly, trying to diffuse the situation before it turned into something that could put you in danger.

Glancing over at him in a bit of confusion, you had to stop yourself from tilting your head. You... were part of Snowchester? Both of you were! Did Techno not.. Know about the fact that you both were (platonically) married to each other and Tubbo?

After a moment, you gave a sigh and held up your hands before reaching into the duffel bag you had brought with you. This action, albeit harmless in your eyes, seemed to threaten Techno greatly as he visibly shifted into a fighting stance. You pulled out a netherite ingot and held it out, raising your eye brow. "Here, have a piece offering from me- Oh wait. I'm not me. I'm just a government in your eyes." You huffed and tossed the ingot lazily into the snow a few feet in front of you before dragging the tall male towards his own house, grumbling angrily the entire way there.

The rest of the night turned out decent after Ranboo explained his reasoning behind being a practical double agent, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. You just wanted to relax for God's sake.

Once you had gone to sleep in his spare room, that's when Ranboo's smile fell and he began pacing around in his basement area, murmuring to himself in enderman while his particles buzzed around him. While they weren't actually speaking, Ranboo's mind thought they were.

"I can't keep her safe."

"̵T̵e̷c̸h̷n̵o̸ ̷w̴i̴l̴l̶ ̴v̷i̸s̷i̷t̷ ̸S̴n̴o̶w̸c̵h̷e̸s̷t̸e̷r̴ ̸a̵n̶d̴ ̶s̴e̷e̵ ̸h̶e̶r̴ ̴t̴h̴e̴r̶e̸.̸.̷"̶ (”Techno will visit Snowchester and see her there”)

̸ ̷"̴H̴e̸'̴l̴l̶ ̴h̸u̶r̸t̸ ̵h̵e̴r̵.̵"̷ (”He’ll hurt her”)

̶ ̸"̴K̶e̸e̶p̷ ̶h̵e̶r̵ ̴s̸a̸f̶e̵.̷"̸ (”Keep her safe”)

"Me and Tubbo can keep her safe. She can be safe with us. We can protect her."

"̷͚̼̎ͅB̵̝͂̓ṙ̴͍î̵̧͕͖̈͝n̸̟̓̈́g̸̤̟͑̿ ̴̯̟̈́̇̓h̷͚̾ͅę̸̣̀̉̋ŗ̶̪̗̈́ ̸͖̎͠ȟ̴̙͎ô̵̫͈̠̌͠m̷̧̈́̒ẻ̸͔̈́.̵̞̥̞̀̓"̵̺̺̗͗͐ (”Bring her home.”)

His purple particles began to buzz more and more at the thought of you being safe in their protection... At least that what he thought...

#ranboo #ranboo x reader #ranboo female reader #ranboolive #mcyt #mcyt x reader #ranboo mcyt #yandere x reader #yandere ranboo #ranboo dsmp #dsmp #dsmp ranboo #dream smp #dream smp x reader #ranboo dream smp

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dameronology · 3 years

Text

never doubt me {cassian andor}

summary: after falling into the hands of the empire, a situation of life and death forces you and cassian to finally talk about your feelings {for @megmeg-chan and i am sO sorry it’s taken me so long to do this}

summary: language, mentions of injury, talks ab death/loss in a canon kinda way

enjoy!! i haven’t written for cassian in so long and i forgot how much i loved him, so expect more of him in the future😌

- jazz

Cassian Andor was a filthy liar.

No, deep breath. He wasn't that bad.

The situation was just really fucking irritating and, in all likelihood, making your anger towards him a little more irrational. It wasn't really even his fault either. He'd told you incessantly that the mission was going to go well, and that you both going to be fine. Like, totally fiiiine, and that you would both get into the base without trouble and reunite in the middle, near the Imperial comms system. It was just that neither of you had planned for or expected stormtroopers to be present -- he'd gotten away in one piece, but you hadn't been so lucky.

That brings us to now: a cell, with two stormtroopers parked outside and quite literally no sign of Cassian anywhere. You knew he'd be looking for you; in fact, you didn't doubt it once. There was a sort of unspoken pact between you that you would always rescue one another; always have each other's backs and never leave the other behind. It was born from the fact that friendships were hard to forge in your line of work, and what you and Cassian had was rare. Not even just in the Rebellion, but rather life in general. On the surface, you teased and ripped into one another to no end. The chemistry was almost suffocating for the people around you, because they could never get a word in edge ways. Then, if you dug a little deeper, there was something more. Something sweeter, something more supportive. You knew him better than he knew himself and in return, he could read you like his favourite novel (though, admittedly, it did sometimes feel like you were missing a few pages. Human complexity and all that).

‘Do you feel like speaking now?’ The modulated voice of one of the stormtroopers came from the other side of your cell door.

‘I’ll die before telling you jackshit.’ You muttered. Hopefully that was more of a statement and less of a prophecy.

The trooper snorted. ‘Okay, sweetheart-’

‘- call me that again and I will shove that blaster sideways up your ass.’ You spat.

‘The only thing you’re doing is rotting here.’

With that, he turned his back to you again.

You slumped further down the wall, ignoring the feeling of the cold concrete etching through the thin fabric of your shirt. It was cold in here. Really, really fucking cold, and Cassian had said you wouldn’t need a jacket. Then again, he’d said a lot of things. And again, none of it was his fault, but you cursed yourself for so blindly listening to him. It was nice that you took everything the other said as gospel, even if it came back to bite you in the ass every so often.

‘A word of advice-’

‘- I don’t want any advice.’ You turned away from the trooper, pulling you knees to your chest.

‘The sooner you talk, the less painful it’ll be.’ He ignored your refusal.

You didn’t need to ask what he meant by it. You’d been part of the Rebellion long enough to have heard stories -- stories of torture, stories of war and the the kind of horrors that people often took to the grave. You had a fair few of your own, and so did Cassian. That was probably why he’d become so important to you. He was one of the only people in the galaxy who truly understood the downfalls of being a Rebel spy. Your cause was more important to you than anything (well, almost anything) and you wouldn’t have changed it for the world, but there were times like this where you wondered if it was all worth it. Would there ever come a day where the Empire truly fell, once and for all? And would you even be around to see it? Would Cassian?

Speaking of the devil, where the fuck was he? He never usually took this long. A few hours at most, but you’d long surpassed that. You could only very barely see the sky through the tiny window, but the sky had faded from powder blue to a dark navy, signalling it had been well over half a day. That was bad for multiple reasons -- the first being that the longer you were here, the more likely Cassian was to assume the worst and stop searching. Secondly, and perhaps most hauntingly, was that each passing second brought you closer to the Imps dragging you out the cell and taking you for questioning. And questioning, in their books, didn’t involve much talking. Go figure.

The injuries you sustained in your capture were bad enough; a bust lip, bruised eye and twisted ankle never made for much comfort. Even less so when you couldn’t get medical attention. The fact you knew it would be the least of your problems in a few hours made it all that much worst.

You’d never doubted Cassian Andor before. Not once. Couldn’t even fathom it, truth be told. He always came through for you; always saved your ass, whether it be from yourself or from Imps. He was your person. That’s the only way you could have put it.

But, above all, he was a human being. Not a super hero, or a miracle worker. He could only do so much and you knew he would. He would follow every lead and every clue to try and get to you, but that’s all he could do. If he couldn’t find you, that wasn’t him on him. You doubted that he would think the same, and when you heard the lock to your cell open, you could only hope and pray that he knew that. That you weren’t going to blame him for what was about to happen, or hold it against him.

‘It’s time.’ The stormtrooper announced. ‘Hope you can handle a bit of pain.’

You took a deep breath. ‘I can handle anything.’

‘I wouldn’t count on it.’ He guffawed. ‘Hands out.’

‘C’mon, man.’ You murmured. ‘My legs gone, my lips bust and my head feels someone’s dropped an iron anvil on it. You don’t need to cuff - ouch!’

You let out a squeak as he grabbed your wrists, tugging them forward and shoving a pair of metal cuffs on them. Was this really it? The end? Was your name gonna be the next one on the list of people lost in the Rebellion? That was if anybody even noticed.

Cassian would. Of course, Cassian would. It hurt your heart to think that you wouldn’t see him again, or get to say a proper goodbye. The last time you’d seen him, you’d been dragged away from him kicking and screaming. He’d been so close, and if he’d been just a little nearer when they’d got you, he might have been able to save you, to stop you from falling into the hands of the Empire. You always figured that if you were gonna die in the field, he’d be by your side. The dumbassery you so often found yourselves in usually happened together.

The walls of the Imperial base were dark - as if you’d expected anything else. It was hardly like the place was going to look like a bright, airy Ikea showroom. The only light came from the thousands of tiny red and blue buttons flickering on the wall, illuminating the hallways in what would have been a pretty glow if the circumstances weren’t so fucking miserable. Talk about a high way to hell.

You took another left, the trooper’s grip on you tightening as you neared some double towards the end. Yep, here it was. This is where you met your maker. And from what you’d heard, the six-foot-something guy in a black mask did not take prisoners. Not that he was the one you were thinking of. No, that was Cassian. Completely and entirely Cassian; just his face and his presence and his everything at the back of your mind, the last thing you could think of before you were about to die for your cause-

-you let out an oof! as the stormtrooper suddenly pulled you to the ground, practically using you as a human shield against the blaster fire and smoke grenade that had just come from behind you. You tried to use your elbows to push him off, but with the cuffs and your already existing injuries, he easily overpowered you. Also, you were too busy coughing from the smoke to even think about making a getaway.

Tumbling forward, you fell onto your hands and knees. The trooper’s gun clattered to the ground, and you used your good leg to kick it further out the way, eyes not moving from the cloud of smoke that come out of the grenade. The red and blue lights were beating down on it, casting a purple glow over the shadow of whoever had thrown it, acting as a guide as they finally emerged. With a blaster in one hand and the other curled into a fist, your best friend had never quite looked so handsome, especially under the violet illuminations.

‘Cassian!’ Despite everything, you couldn’t help but grin.

‘Duck.’ He demanded.

You did as he said, flopping back to the floor. Squeezing your eyes shut and covering your head, you stayed there for a moment. There was another blast, and then the trooper’s body fell beside yours with a dull thud!

Then, in what must have been two of most contrasting feelings ever, a warm pair of hands found yours. Cassian’s, undoubtedly. You would have known them anywhere. He pulled you up from the cold ground, warm palms finding your face as they ghosted over your cheeks.

‘It’s okay.’ His voice was soft. ‘You can open your eyes.’

You took a deep breath. ‘I know. Thank you.’

‘How badly are you hurt?’ He asked. ‘Because we need to move fast.’

‘My foot’s pretty wrangled.’ You said.

Without another word, Cassian threw an arm over your shoulders, tucking it under your arms to support you.

‘Lean against me.’ He instructed. ‘The exit isn’t too far-’

‘- what about the other troopers?’ You asked.

‘I dealt with them on my way in.’

And dealt with them, he certainly had. The men were practically laying in unconscious piles (he only ever intended to maim, but never kill), working as some kind of fucked up map out of a twisted and horrible maze. The pain in your leg only grew worst as you moved, your good leg beginning to ache from carrying all the weight. With all your attention focused ahead of you for potential enemies, you didn’t even notice how close you were to stumbling over -- not until you fell back onto the cold lino floors.

‘Hey.’ Cassian dropped beside you. ‘Look at me, okay, just...look at me.’

You glanced up, tired eyes meeting his warm, brown ones. ‘It really hurts, Cass.’

‘We’re really close now.’ He said. ‘Two more minutes. Can you do that? For me?’

‘Yeah.’ You took a deep breath and nodded. ‘I can.’

(Because really, for him, you’d do anything.)

Cassian helped you back up, pressing one of his blasters into your hand. His arm returned to hold you by the waist, gripping you a little tighter this time. Your leg was practically screaming in pain, a dull ache shooting from your ankle up to your knee. You had to remind yourself that in a few minutes, it would all be over - and not in the way you thought it was going to be over an hour ago. Over, as in this whole ordeal would simply be something to report back to your bosses at base, and not your final moments. The fact you ever let yourself accept that fate and think that Cassian wouldn’t come for you was something else entirely in itself.

You almost cried with relief when you saw his battered old ship docked outside the base. You normally cried for other reasons when you saw it - usually ones to do with the rusty old engines and creaking sound it insisted on making whenever it flew - but right then, you had never been happier to see it. Even if the insides smelt weirdly of petrol and oil, and the seats in the cockpit were made of uncomfortable cracked leather, you practically threw yourself on board.

Neither you nor Cassian said anything for a while. His attention was completely on getting away from the base and avoiding TIE fighters - something he did without ever moving his hand from your thigh - and yours was on steadying your breathing and heartbeat. It had been a rough twelve hours to say the least.

Once the ship had lurched into hyperspace, he turned in his chair to face you. He held your gaze for a moment, before opening his arms out and letting you flop from your own seat and into his chest. They tightly wrapped around you, one hand softly your head to his body and the other gently rubbing up and down your back. You had to squeeze your eyes shut to stop your tears from spilling.

‘I’m sorry.’ He murmured.

‘For what?’ You peered up at him with a frown.

‘Not finding you sooner.’ He replied. ‘Or for even letting you get caught in the first place-’

‘- Cassian, stop.’ You pulled back and tangled his hands in yours. ‘Once I get some bactaspray, I’ll be totally fine.’

‘But you almost weren’t.’ He shot back. ‘If I was just a few minutes later and you could have been a thousand times worst, or even...gone completely.’

‘That’s beside the point.’ You softly sighed. ‘It’s doesn’t matter would have beens or could have beens. I am here and I will be okay.’

‘You’re right.’ He nodded. ‘I’m sorry. I just...I want to protect you, you know? And I failed.’

‘You don’t need to protect me, Cass.’ You shook your head with a soft smile. ‘Actually, no, today I did but you pulled through.’

‘I don’t need to, but I want to.’ Cassian murmured.

He’d done a pretty good job at sitting on his feelings for the last few years. Pushed them down when he felt the urge to tell you, and ignored them entirely when they got really intense. But that had been when the threat of completely losing you was just that: a threat. A distant possibility, and one that you were both too busy living your lives to fully consider. Now, however, you’d come close. Too close. Cassian had come face-to-face with a reality where you were gone, and one where he’d never actually told you how he felt.

‘You know I love you, right?’ He quietly said.

‘Yeah, I know.’ You nodded.

‘No, I mean I love you.’

You peered up at him, realising what he was getting at. You did know. In fact, it had very much been an unspoken thing between you for a very, very long time. It was really just a matter of saying it - but that was always the hardest part, right?

‘I know.’ You repeated. ‘I love you too.’

‘You do?’

You softly laughed. ‘Of course I do.’

He pressed a soft kiss to your temple and pulled you back against his chest, chin resting atop your ahead. ‘Good.’

You stayed like that for a few minutes; it was undoubtedly a deeper conversation you were going to have later on, but it felt good to have it out in the open. So good, in fact, that it momentarily made you forget the last day entirely. Instead of pondering on it, you let yourself get lost entirely in Cassian’s presence, and the feeling of his body against yours and and his arms holding you. If you could have it your way, you would have stayed like this forever. The rest of the galaxy could wait.

‘I’m sorry if you thought I was going to make in time.’ He said quietly.

‘I didn’t.’ Your voice was slightly muffled by his chest. ‘Not once.’

‘I love you.’ Cassian said it more firmly this time. It still completely felt weird to say, and even more so to see you smile and say it back.

‘I love you too.’

He dipped his head down, capturing your mouth in a soft kiss. The feeling of your lips against his was familiar and foreign all at once; it was something he’d gone over in his head a thousand times, but it was nothing like either of you had imagined. It was better. Sweeter, in the kind of way that gave you butterflies in your tummy and made you feel giddy. It was worlds away from the usual dread and bloodshed that came with being in the Rebellion.

But that was quintessentially Cassian. He was everything that the war wasn’t: sweet and constant and warm. Somebody as beautiful and as caring as him both did and didn’t belong in the Rebellion. Did, because he was a good man who wanted to fight for the right thing. Didn’t, because he constantly risked his life for the greater good and you couldn’t quite stomach that idea.

‘I’ll always come back for you.’ He lightly brushed his hand against your cheek. ‘Never doubt me.’

‘I won’t.’ You promised. ‘Not ever.’

tags: @megmeg-chan @karasong @bb8sworld @marvelinsanity @poestardust @etherealsanakin @bo-kryze @punkbach @phoenixhalliwell

#cassian andor x reader #cassian andor imagine #cassian x reader #cassian imagine #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor fanfic #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars fluff #cassian andor fluff #rogue one imagines #star wars angst

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