ToonMan #5: The Misadventures of Miss Adventure
Prompt: Not every member of the heroes Rouge's Gallery is a "bad guy."
Prompt By: ToonMan (Me)
Started Writing: 05/07/2024
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A young woman wearing an explorer’s outfit with curly red hair with a white streak tied in a ponytail hangs, tied upside-down in a giant sewer silo. Half of her face is trapped in a permanent shadow as her pearl-white eyes survey the multiple sewer tunnels.
“Helooooooo!” yells the woman. “Anybody home? Blood’s kinda rushing to my head over here!” Cackling echoes throughout the tunnels. The woman looks into the abyss below and watches as a horde of alligators begins to crawl up the silo walls. The woman turns toward the tunnel on her level, seeing a shadow on the far end.
“Ya lotta guts to be down here, missy,” a grizzly voice floods from the tunnel. “Yer either brave or foolhardy.”
“Why can’t I be a little of both?” asks the woman. The alligators laugh, as do the shadowy figure.
“What brings you down here, pray tell?” asks the grizzly figure as he slowly walks through the tunnel.
“I’m looking for a…one second,” the woman shifts around under the rope until she manages to slip a piece of paper through her binds. “I’m looking for a Captrain Scaleduggery, Mutant Pirate Lord of the Seven Sewers?”
“Woof, are ya sure ya got the right name there, lass?” asks the grizzly figure, “A dainty thing like yerself shouldn’t kahootin’ with the likes of him.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m far from dainty,” says the woman, “I’m Miss Adventure, the greatest adventurer the world has ever known.” The Alligators stop laughing as a deep growl shakes the silo. “I take it that you’ve heard of me?” A wave of water rushes into the silo as an oversized Gator man floats to the edge of the tunnel on an undersized raft. He wears an eye patch, a torn pirate coat about six sizes too small, and a metal lever for a peg leg.
“Eye, we’ve heard of ye,” says Scaleduggery, “If I had known we’d have such esteemed company, I would’a preheated me oven!” A red light emits from the bottom of the silo as the water begins to boil and rise. “Get the vegetables and broth, lads! We’re having Adventure Stew tonight!” The alligator crew cheers.
“Aw man, that sounds delicious,” says Miss Adventure, “Wish I could stay, but I’m on the clock, so—” The rope loosens, freeing Miss Adventure as she grabs onto it.
“Don’t let her escape! And someone get me flintlock!” orders Scaleduggery. The alligator crew leaps from the silo walls at Miss Adventure as she swings around on the rope, dodging and kicking away the cold-blooded combatants. One of the alligators is higher up on the rope, chewing on it.
“Oh boy,” says Miss Adventure. She frantically swings farther and faster until the rope snaps, flinging her toward a tunnel. She reaches out for the edge of the tunnel but barely misses. Only to be grabbed by another hand and pulled back up to find ToonMan waiting for her.
“Been a while,” says ToonMan. Miss Adventure gets to her feet and starts jabbing at ToonMan’s stomach, who doesn’t feel a thing.
“A while?! It’s been like years, ya paper-skinned pansy,” says Miss Adventure before hugging ToonMan.
“Pretty sure it’s just been a month,” says ToonMan, “but hey, I’m here now. What’s the job?”
“See Puffy the Alligator over there?” asks Miss Adventure as she points to Scaleduggery. “Need his leg and heads up, silos filling up with boiling sewer broth.”
“That’s it?” asks ToonMan.
-BOOM-
A cannonball flies right between the two heroes. The two look across the silo to see Scaleduggery holding a cannon under his pudgy arm.
“Ah! Ya land lubbers, lucky me aim ain’t what it used to be!” yells Scaleduggery. “Quick, load me up another one!” Miss Adventure glares at ToonMan.
“Still a world-class jinx, I see,” says Miss Adventure. Two alligators crawl into the heroes’ tunnel only to get punched out by ToonMan’s giant fist.
“Oh, don’t act like you hate the extra challenge,” says ToonMan as he leaps out of the tunnel, elongates his arm to the ceiling, grabs onto a metal grate, and swings towards Scaleduggery.
“Nu-uh, no, you don’t,” says Miss Adventure. She gets a running start and uses a rising alligator’s head as a launch pad to leap over ToonMan. He responds by catching Miss Adventure before she dives into the boiling water.
“Still a glory hound, I see,” says ToonMan.
“Glory’s all yours,” says Miss Adventure, “but the treasure, that’s all me, baby!” The two notice Scaleduggery load his cannon with one of his alligators. “You smellin’ what I’m cookin’?”
“Seeing as I can’t smell, probably not,” says ToonMan, “but I got an idea!” ToonMan winds back the arm, holding up Miss Adventure, flinging her straight up just as Scaeduggery fires his crewmate at him. ToonMan then let’s go of the grate, falling just under the flying alligator and grabbing onto its tail to pull him back across the silo.
As Miss Adventure falls back down, ToonMan stretches out his legs, kicking Miss Adventure across the silo at Scaleduggery.
“Aw muck,” says Scaleduggery. Miss Adventure kicks the oversized gator in his one good eye, knocking him over on his back. ToonMan lands in the other tunnel with the alligator crewmate, quickly knocking him out before checking on Miss Adventure. He finds her using Scaleduggery’s peg leg as a cane.
“Another ace in the hole!” says Miss Adventure.
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With a twirl of the lever, Miss Adventure inserts it into a slot and pulls it down. The two heroes look up at the “Captain Scaleduggery’s Sewer Ship Surf” carnival ride as the lights turn on and small boat carts move into a tunnel. Miss Adventure watches the ride run with a small grin as ToonMan walks up next to her.
“Looks like you’ve saved the day again, Ms. A,” says ToonMan, bumping into Miss Adventure with his shoulder.
“Couldn’t have done it without you, Tooney,” says Miss Adventure, bumping back into ToonMan. “I mean, I could’ve, but I’ll never say no to a team-up.” The two walk across the dying grass, surrounded by old booths and run-down rides.
“Gotta say, the place keeps getting better every time I swing by,” says ToonMan.
“Hey, someone’s gotta keep this place up and running,” says Miss Adventure. She claps her hands, and the rest of the theme park comes to life. Music plays, rides run and poorly made animatronics run through the motions of their carnival games. ToonMan looks around in awe.
“Wowza! You’ve really been putting in the work!” says ToonMan.
“Well, it’s like you’ve said,” Miss Adventure grabs an oversized mallet from a booth, swinging it over her shoulder. “it’s been a while!” She then slams the mallet into the ground. A test your strength game with a graveyard esthetic erupts from the ground with a loud *DING*. “Up and Adam!” ToonMan narrows his eyes, looking slightly towards the ground.
“I, uh, almost forgot,” says ToonMan, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulls out a small, wrapped box and hands it to Miss Adventure. “Happy Birthday.” Miss Adventure's eyes widen as she snatches the present from ToonMan’s hand. She tears through the wrapping, flinging the box lid to the side, finding a diamond-encrusted bracelet.
“Awww, Tooney!” says Miss Adventure, “You know the only treasures I like are in trap-filled caves and monster-filled dungeons.” She looks longer at the bracelet, noticing three letter charms that spell out “ACE.” Miss Adventure wipes her thumb across the bracelet as the shadow covering the top half of her face fades. Her vibrant orange hair fades to a pale peach, her skin begins to wrinkle, turning pale, and her overall posture worsens. “What was it Camila always said?” Miss Adventure turns around, appearing to have gone from mid-twenties to late sixties. “Free is the one word you can’t say no to.”
ToonMan walks over and gently hugs the older Miss Adventure.
“Hey, Ellie,” says ToonMan.
“Oh, ToonMan, it’s been too long,” says Ellie, returning the hug. “How are you? Did A.I.D. give you any trouble on the way in?”
“Nah, nah. They barely even noticed me,” says ToonMan. "I just wanted to stop in and check on you.”
“Aww,” says Ellie, “Are you sure I didn’t raise you?”
“Positive,” says ToonMan as he reaches for the charm bracelet. “May I?” Ellie lets ToonMan take the bracelet and put it on her wrist.
“How are my children doing these days?” asks Ellie, “I take it that this was Camila's idea?”
“She always wants you to look your best,” says ToonMan. He offers up his arm to Ellie, who interlocks it with hers as the two stroll around the amusement park. “Evan got promoted to district manager last month and got a pretty big bonus, too.”
“Oh bless,” says Ellie, “That boy deserves it. Hard worker, just like his mother!” The two continue their stroll, passing by mini-gofer golf. “How’s…Adam?”
“He’s better,” says ToonMan, “full recovery and out of the hospital, with a little help from A.I.D, and back home with Eve.”
“Eve?” asks Ellie. “I thought her name was Zarina?”
“No, Zarina’s the fiancé,” says ToonMan, “Eve’s your granddaughter.”
“Oh, Oh yes! Little Evee,” says Ellie, tightening her grip. “Oh, how could I forget that crooked grin? She gets that from her grandpa, you know. Would have had to put a girder in his mouth to fix those teeth! Oh, he’d have loved to see her!”
“Would…you like to see her?” asks ToonMan. Ellie looks up at ToonMan before looking back down and pulling away from him. “Ellie, please—”
“I can’t. There’s still so much to do, so much to fix,” says Ellie, color flowing back into her hair.
“Ellie, I promise it’ll still be here,” says ToonMan. Ellie’s posture straightens out as she starts to walk faster.
“I know it will,” says Ellie, “because I’m here.” Ellie leaps to the top of one of the tents, followed by ToonMan. “As long as I’m here, all of this will be too, and one day, I can bring lil’ Evee here and she can see—”
“She wants to see you!” says ToonMan. A young Ellie turns around to see ToonMan holding out a photo. Ellie takes it to see her three kids, their partners, and Eve at the center. “She’s tired of looking at pictures, and I know you are too.” ToonMan walks closer, putting Ellie’s hands in his. “Let me cure you. Let Miss Adventure go.” Ellie tightens her grip. Black ooze begins to flow from her hands and into ToonMan’s. Until it suddenly retracts back into Ellie, and she takes a few quick steps back.
“I’m sorry,” says Ellie, wiping her face. Miss Adventure looks at ToonMan, teary-eyed with a wide smile. “But someone needs to stop that dragon.” A bellowing roar echoes across the amusement park as a roller coaster transforms into a fire-breathing dragon. The beast rips a portal into a fantasy realm while also taking a large chunk of the track with it. ToonMan watches as Miss Adventure transforms into a knight. “What do ya say, Tooney? Up for another adventure?” ToonMan forces a smile and chuckles.
“Nah, I think You got this one covered,” says ToonMan.
“Suit yourself,” says Miss Adventure. She whistles, and one of the carousel horses transforms into a real Pegasus. Miss Adventurer hops off the tent and onto the mythical creature. “Don’t be a stranger and remember—” Miss Adventure soars off toward the portal. “—adventure waits for no one!” The portal closes the second Miss Adventure crosses into it. ToonMan sighs as he slingshots out of the park, landing right outside the front gate.
Welcome to Misadventure’s
[RETIRED]
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Traveling Amusement Park
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Woo! Two in a roo0O0oow!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story!
If you have any comments, critiques, or criticisms, please don't be afraid to let me hear 'em (as long as they're constructive (or comical)). Also, if you have some spare time, check out my blog for more stories like this one.
Stay safe, drink plenty of water, and be kind to yourself and others.
ToonMan, AWAY!
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November Stories + NaNoWriMo Update
Long time no see...yeah, that's on me. No excuses. I fell off in October. However, I tried to make up for it this month by participating in NaNoWriMo with some success.
9,000 out of 50,000 words written on my newest passion project, "The Streak, Mapping The Multiverse." Honestly, that was more than I thought I'd write. I'm probably gonna finish up what I've got and post it... eventually, so keep an eye out for that.
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With that out of the way, here are the five stories I wrote In November:
~Forever's a Mighty Long Time~
[WP] "So, you're talking to me again?" — "Well, it's like you said. I could be mad at you forever, but what's the point in that?" [u/TheWriterCunt - Reddit]
~Wereology 101~
[WP] A sitcom where a Werewolf Pack and a Vampire Clan are good friends with each other, going against the usual trope of Werewolves and Vampires are enemies of each other. Describe a scene from this kind of show. [u/Wixin74 - Reddit]
~Lost In My World~
[WP] “At Power Pre-K, we have all sorts of activities to nurture the budding superhero, villain, monster, titan, or…um, what exactly IS your child?” [u/codeScramble - Reddit]
~Missed the Lie~
[WP] What started as a minor spat between you and your significant other, has devolved into the worst argument the two of you have ever had. [u/The_Anarchivist - Reddit]
~Just Another Night~
[WP] You should have thought twice before joining this team; now you're stuck with a pyromaniac elf, a fearful orc, a flirtatious dwarf, and a fairy with depression. [Reddit - u/Unhappy-Ad-3593]
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And that's November. All-in-all, a solid month, can't complain too much. Here's hoping I can keep it up. To however many of you out there who actually read through all of that, I hope you continue to enjoy my stories and other content.
Stay safe, be kind to yourself and others, and don't forget a jacket because baby...it's COLD outside.
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