Currently reading: historical fiction about one of the first racially integrated towns in the U.S., this one was also up for the Booker Prize and the National Book Award in 2023

That's right; I am queer, from queer folk, queer stock. The very queerest. Here we are, stuck on an island, a hollow, a swamp, the desert, no sooner settled than banished again. You bet I'm queer. I'm no landlord nor lawyer, no duke nor lord of the looms. I'm no cap doffer, no knee bender, no flattering stooge. I draw no writs; I pass no judgments. I set no seals. I tip no scales. No, not me; I'm queer. I'm queer for my self, for my selfhood, queer for this queer self I find myself to be, queer with strange appetites, and a heart that throbs most queerly. I'm queer for other queers, queer for their shapes and colors and sizes, queer for their tastes. I'm queer for the ruthless sea. I'm queer for all the little queer creatures in the tide pools. I'm queer for the light when it breaks the horizon and queer for it when it sinks behind the trees. I'm plain queer for these people and queer for this world. I'm downright queer in love with this wreck of a world, queer in love with love itself--love's always queer, always arriving in our hearts from queer nowheres, queering everything--and there we are; wide awake all night, queer as queer can be; queer orphans, queer widows, queer boys, and queer girls; sorrel girls queer for ivory boys, daffodil boys queer for lilac girls; carmine girls queer for sable girls, cinnamon boys so very queer for boys of bluest milk.

Paul Harding, This Other Eden

Good Friday, 1975  // Richard de Zoysa

Hot wind, humming through the trees Stirring up the red dust, making sluggish ripples On the surface of the stagnant pools Peace, be still We who would recapture the agony Of the blood that flowed in the desert And seek the answers to our questions Bid you hold your peace. The blood flows murmuring, congeals, turning black upon the purpling flesh. Petrified, great trees halted by the march of time, blasted by the fierce lightning, the three crosses stand against the sun. Three naked broken bodies, three little Jews set out in a row to dry, sag, taut arms bearing the bundles of screaming flesh and nerves. The soldiers stand; men of steel and rawhide, forcing hoarse laughter from parched throats, pouring rancid wine into churning bellies and eyeing the crowd uneasily. Oh my people, what have I done to thee? Sullen-eyed, they wait. You cannot blame us, they tell posterity. We are justice, dreadful, implacable, terrible in our righteousness. Shout it down the generations! In accord with our consciences, we acted - How to know, how to foresee the multiplication, the spread, more inexorable than themselves, of my following? Oh my people, what will I do to thee? In London and in Leipzig, Warsaw and Vienna, Charred flesh, smoking ruins, stones, water, fire and Adolf my boy, well done thou good and faithful servant ............ The flies are everywhere. The collapse of bowels and the blood brings them, and they stay Their buzzing soporofic and soothing, the clammy touch of their feet failing to evoke a twitch from the splitting skin And the baking afternoon grinds on. Father, forgive them, for I will never. Later, in the cool of the tomb, with the dirt and the sweat and the blood washed off, cooled with myrrh, wrapped in linen and darkness there will be time to think. Time to forgive or time to plan. There will be weeping in Rama. Rachel mourning for her children. Oh God, save these thy people. Eli, Eli ............ Hear, O Israel. It is finished Selah. It is begun. You have asked the questions You have had your answers Go forth into the world And hum, hot wind, again.

Paul Harding || This Other Eden

Booker Prize Shortlist 2023 This Other Eden is Apple Island, a small island of the coast of the United States on which a small group of people live. People who have descended from former enslaved who saw Apple Island as their refuge. At first the group grows when it draws other refugees, next it dwindles, causing family relations that attract the attention of those on the main land. I had some…

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I could no longer hold my breath. Just as I had to give out and inhale the Atlantic into my lungs and swallow it into my guts like a last meal of seawater soup, the whirlpool began to uncoil from around my hand and and the flag and the water began to lower. My arm seemed to rise out of the water, then my head and body, along with the Penobscot pine, too, which rose like the mast of a wrecked ship unsinking. The ship–I mean, the island–and I surfaced and rose above the water and the wind dashed against my face and I gasped at the air and lost hold of the tree.

This Other Eden, by Paul Harding

“Like, if he ever settled his thoughts and untied his tongue, he just might write something as good as one of Shakespeare’s worst couplets.” - Paul Harding, This Other Eden

FNAF SPOILERS! SCROLL! TALKING ABOUT THE SPRINGLOCK SCENE!

i’ve seen so many people discussing the springlock scene in both negative and positive ways and i think it brings up really cool points about how matthew played that scene and balanced fan expectations with his own characterisation.

i think the discussions around this movie have rlly exposed the disconnect between fanon and canon in fnaf, especially talking abt the core games in isolation, bc frankly in the game universe (ignoring the books) we get Very Little characterisation for William other than the obvious, but Matthew managed to add so much in the way he talks and his body language.

in the reveal scene, we see afton at arguably his peak. in his first scene, he comes off as somewhat demeaning and judgemental until he recognises mike’s name, at which point he seems to have this nervous energy, rushing to cover it up but stumbling slightly, his reaction to the tables being turned even slightly is massive.

this is a man who committed multiple mrdrs in essentially broad daylight, hid the bodies in the most obvious place, and still got away with it, and then kept the crime scene as a trophy of his actions, and an ongoing prison sentence for his victims. he has been in complete control for decades, and is confident that he can deal with any kind of threat quickly. his confidence in his reveal is palpable

it changes when vanessa shoots him. the whole parallel with vanessa and the animatronics is hugely interesting too- how william refers to the animatronics almost endearingly as “kids” when he wants them to obey, how both vanny and the animatronics have an unearned loyalty to him, almost a pseudo-adoption through what he did to them, taking them from their parents and keeping them under his thumb, forever stuck as naive, forgiving, obedient children. vanessa breaking from that control shakes him, but the mask slips back into place almost immediately.

then, he’s outsmarted by the brother of one of his victims, and the child he planned to end next. his pseudo-children turn on him and he can no longer manipulate his appearance or shed his skin to escape. he explodes on them, and his language is incredibly telling that he is being dishonest.

he calls them small, trying to belittle them into submission, even though they are ten feet tall metal animatronics powered by rage. he is grasping at straws to regain control, and failing miserably.

finally, the springlocks go off. the locks in the movie look more like a ribcage, so the first two likely puncture his lungs. they’re slow, and painful, but he doesn’t scream or beg or sob. he grunts and groans, gritting his teeth and only letting out sounds of pain that sound almost involuntary. there is no way in hell he would visibly let himself show weakness or pain in front of these creatures that he believes he has control over. he isn’t brought to his knees until there are eight metal spikes embedded in his abdomen. he doesn’t let the mask fall for even a second, until he literally PUTS THE ACTUAL MASK ON and finally collapses. even then, he’s fighting for consciousness, twitching and writhing with no control over his body. william afton thrives on control, and his soul will not rest until he gets it back.

it’s why he keeps the pizzeria- he always comes back. he can’t help but return to the scene of the crime, putting on his old costume, continuing his killings. he revels in being a constant threat on the horizon. and now, he knows he is going to die, and he knows the suit will bring him back, and noone will be able to get rid of him then. so he puts the mask back on, and waits.

in terms of the sfx- they’re pretty accurate. with stab wounds, you need to leave the knife in the wound as long as possible for best chance of survival, as it stops the blood from escaping. in terms of the springlocks, there wouldn’t be copious amounts of blood as the locks are keeping the wounds filled- which is good because it means a slower, more painful death.

Shit post!

Don't take this too seriously, but LMAO XD. -Bubbly💙

There's a nice mirroring with these scenes that bookend what I think of as the pre-Arrangement era.

Aziraphale laughing together with Crowley, until he realizes this is unangelic and snaps out of it. Crowley turns away.

vs.

Crowley has been turned away, until Aziraphale realizes he's said something unangelic but this time it doesn't deter him. They end up smiling together.

will and mike when they first met: i’m not the only one who’s lonely

will and mike in season 1: i’m not the only freak

will and mike in season 2: i’m not the only one who feels crazy

will and mike in season 3: i’m not the only one struggling to survive puberty and figure out who i am if i’m not a kid anymore

will and mike in season 4: i’m not the only one who’s afraid to be honest with people about my feelings

will and mike in season 5: i’m not the only one who’s gay and in love with my best friend???!?

TMBTE breakdown but MORE SPECIFICALLY, iv trying very hard to get to his mic for his cue and NOT run into Vessel 😂😂

im gonna be honest, out of all the hozier songs, i didnt anticipate for Take Me to Church would be the one on Crowley’s playlist

im so normal abt this

This month's feature is Crazy:B, with this edition releasing alongside their new Valentine's Day single 'Lovebug'! (written and produced by my hopes and dreams)

art-only version below the cut!