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#They are orangutan hands
bots-and-things · 2 months
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I hate to break it to you all but...
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those are his hands, and not his feets
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platypusisnotonfire · 1 month
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People don’t realize how much I rely on predictive text until I write something by hand and they are like
Why was this written by a brain damaged five year old
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domono08 · 5 months
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This is mr. O, an orangutan music teacher who works at Daniel’s middle school.
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big-greer · 7 months
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Been a bit since i last drew so im pretty rusty, wanted to try something different than what i normally do. So i decided to draw my hand. While alot of it not looking right is im still learning, some of it is however the fact i have massive square ass gorilla hands.
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manicpixiedreamjew · 8 months
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obsessed. they r just like ME
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fatnutswizard · 9 months
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My red flag to doctors is the way i always have a manifesto prepared
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starplatinumnun · 1 year
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being jotaro kujo must have been insane. you are 17 years old. one day you wake up and a purple ghost is haunting you. all it does is punch people and get you beer. you lock yourself into jail. all the prisoners are scared of you. your xenophobic american grandpa shows up with his psychic egyptian friend and tells you you need to kill your bisexual vampire half-great-grunkle to save your mother. suddenly, you're on the worst road trip in the history of mankind with a frenchman, a dog, an autistic nerd, a psychic, and your xenophobic grandpa with a metal hand. you have to fight an orangutan, a cowboy, a baby, a falcon, and the sun, all in the span of 60 days. all of your friends die
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toastyravioli · 18 days
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Falin raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...💥
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klazje · 2 years
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MY PAWPAW WAS TOO BIG TO FIT IN HIS URN????? THAT CAN HAPPEN!??
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ooffmlsorry · 6 months
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Dancing with One Piece Men
ACE
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The only one on this list that can actually dance or at least has a real sense of rhythm I'm so sorry
He's not shy about dancing either
Is shy about slow dancing with you in front of people, that's just for yall
Loves dancing with you during celebrations on the ship!!! HE WILL LITERALLY GRAB YOU FROM YOUR SEAT AND SWING YOU AROUND
His joy is your joy and vice versa and will keep you laughing the whole time
Gets really close to you, especially when he's drunk, like noses almost touching
Did I mention spinning?? He'll spin you around and around until you're both dizzy, flushed and sweating and then wobble over to a seat with you to recover and laugh with everyone
LUFFY
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Have you ever seen the OG Disney Jungle Book movie? Remember the orangutan? Yeah? That's how Luffy dances. Lots of arm swinging and shimmying
Doesn't mind dancing but like...food first
Man, all that dancing worked up an appetite! Time for more food!
You might have to see Chopper the next morning because of how much he pulls your arms while dancing your poor shoulder joints lol
So unserious about it so there's no reason to be self concious because Luffy's already acting a fool enough for both of you
You both end up falling asleep wherever you are, completely tuckered out. Zoro will inevitably have to carry you both to bed except Luffy's hand is still holding yours so you're definitely sharing a bed
SANJI
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Okay, but the hilarity of trying to grind up on this man? He'd die. Cause of death: blood loss lol. It's okay, he's had a good run
He's such a romantic, I think he'd actually prefer to slow dance with you and is kind of bummed it's a party
Would definitely inspire him to slow dance with you more
Holds you really close
Hands on your waist or lower absolutely lower
Can't actually dance though and looks incredibly goofy, as long as no one says anything zoro it'll be fine
Can dip you though and it's really hot
You probably don't dance for very long because he's a horny gremlin but you love it
ZORO
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"Pleeeeaaaassssseeee"
"Over my dead body, y/n"
There ain't no way you're getting this man to dance
Pulling him off the wall or out of his chair is like trying to pull a mountain from it's spot
Will tap his foot though
Really likes watching you because it's hot and because you're happy and let's be honest Zoro wants to see you happy
You're the best view there besides the sake
Make him jealous and dance with another guy? Well, y'all won't be at the party much longer because you're fucking in the bathroom
If hell froze over and you did get him to dance it's so stiff and terrible you burst out laughing immediately
LAW
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It's only because he loves you that he shows up at all, dancing is pushing it
Dance on him and he will switch himself with a chair at least he won't let you fall on your ass
You can try pulling him up but you won't get very far either. He might swing his arms with yours lamely but that's it
He will slow dance with you alone in his room or the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning and actually really likes holding you close
Dancing is so foreign to him and it shows lol, you got him to dance once in private because you were insanely curious and Law genuinely has no memories of ever dancing in his 26 years of life and uh...he kind of dances like Wednesday Addams but it's cute to you
He'll dance with you in private now but it has to be a very very special circumstance
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yeonboy · 1 year
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𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ♡ choi yeonjun.
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If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?
❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends to lovers!au ♡ angst ♡ humor ♡ fluff
❧ 7 k words
❧ warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:
❧ note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you won’t find links to my main anywhere bec i’ve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - we’ll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie 😔
leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:
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❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘
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"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."
Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.
"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."
That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."
"Not even gonna ask how you know that… But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."
"But they mess up my palate!"
When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the university’s senior ice hockey team’s ace, their Center, their captain, and that he’s looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.
Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now – him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.
Damn. Time sure flies fast.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.
“Yeah. Stupid. A lot of it.”
Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.
See, now, the thing is – you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. That’d just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.
It’s just impossible not to! 
Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. He’s a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, he’s gotten into manically coloring his hair, which…is seriously injurious to the onlookers’ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.
And he isn’t even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.
That is another thing about him – he’s too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isn’t just an insanely handsome dude who’d hold your hand to help you cross the road, but he’d also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.
You as in a person, not – not you. He’d never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because you’d probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.
Wow.
You can’t count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when it’s tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and you’d lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.
“Should I get more burgers?”
Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. He’s pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.
“You’ve had six in the past hour, Jjun. I’d say stop for the night, maybe?”
“Hey, I have a big appetite!” He scowls at you. “And it’s close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!”
You groan. “Well, then, why did you ask?”
“To be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.” He widens his eyes and blinks at you. “Or did you forget I’m also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?”
The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a year’s worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldn’t be ‘nursing a heartbreak’ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you aren’t even done with your mid-sems yet.
But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. “Ah, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.”
He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.
You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"
"Oh yeah? You didn't even—oof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"
At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep someday…"
You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."
"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"
"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college – she knew what she was doing."
Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean… I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."
You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.
Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.
"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' her”—you make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyes—“when they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."
Yeonjun’s eyes are wide when you finish speaking. “What…?”
“She didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. “All I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing you’ve never taken these relationships too seriously. There’s more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.”
Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.
So then…is he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.
"I… She did have feelings for me, Y/N. They—the girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. “I haven’t taken these relationships that casually. I'm – I’m not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.”
Okay, hold on – what?
What?
How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?
"Yeonjun, no… That's not what I'm trying—"
"Let's – let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."
Now that – gives you a pause. "I won't…get it?"
He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.
And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.
"Jjun?"
He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"
"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?" 
This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort. 
"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"
"Look, it's… well. You’ve always subtly looked down upon all the girls I’ve dated in college, and that was fine. You’re my best friend, you’re allowed to be a critic.” He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. “But… I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.”
No… literally when did you insinuate that?
You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.
“You won’t get it because you don’t want me, you’ve never wanted me – and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesn’t mean that no one sees any depth in me.”
“A… comedic relief character?” your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t about you – it’s about these girls… You’re my best friend, Yeonjun!”
“And yet you can’t find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.” He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. “You don’t use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously don’t care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?”
His words are like death blows – each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.
There’s so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you don’t even know how to begin correcting them. 
How did you even get here?
You’d only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.
How did that turn into him thinking you don’t value your friendship with him? That you don’t value him?
“Oh, and by the way,” he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, “Changbin’s probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because… you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yes…” He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. “If you say yes, I hope you know it’ll mean a lot more.”
Why is he bringing up Changbin again? You’d only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back – you haven’t even responded to a single text he’s sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one? 
Absolutely out of the question.
Does Yeonjun not know you at all?
You’re about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. “I’m planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung – you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought I’d ask for your opinion, but… You’ve already made that pretty clear tonight.”
Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if it’s dying a slow death in your chest.
Chaeyoung, really? So he’s skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung. 
Of course. 
Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesn’t even have one. How could you forget.
Maybe it’s a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.
“For what it’s worth,” you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, “I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not – not hurt you. You’re the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.”
You don’t wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.
The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.
And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesn’t even attempt to stop you.
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You haven’t checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.
“You’re seriously still up?” Yuqi’s disappointed voice calls out. “The crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.”
You wince in guilt. “Fuck, Yuqi, I’m so sorry I kept you awake—”
“Woah, what?”
She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommate’s dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.
Cheer captain… Chaeyoung…
You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someone’s cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.
“Oh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!”
You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. “I… Ugh, it’s been a weird night, Yuqi.”
She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” You try to sit up with her help. “I guess?”
“Oh, babe…” Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. “What happened?”
“Y–Yeonjun,” you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.
“Ah, man. What’d the idiot do this time?”
Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes he’s too oblivious and doesn’t particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, you’re batting for his defense against Yuqi.
Right now, though, you feel like you’re gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.
So you tell her exactly what happened – give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.
“What the fuck?”
You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. “And he’s picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess it’s whatever.”
“You know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively… which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out – had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?” Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. “And Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.”
That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. “How… how is she, though? As a person?”
It’s so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.
“She’s… not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.” Yuqi sighs. “She’s friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why she’s running for captain alongside me.”
Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him – and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. That’s good news, right?
So why does your heart seem to ache even more?
“Everything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.” You tip your head against her shoulder. “What do I do?”
“Admit to yourself that you don’t just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?”
You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. “What?”
Yuqi just rolls her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t move on if you don’t admit to it first, can you?”
Move on…?
Is that what you have to do now? Maybe. 
If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, it’s best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.
“And then maybe text Changbin back,” Yuqi continues. “He’s their goalie. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he’s nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.
You just exhale a deep breath. “Maybe.”
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16:37 | changbin (: congratulations to yuqi! tell her i knew she would make it :D
↪ Haha thanks! Will do!
soooo our first match’s three days away kinda wanted to ask u something before that meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?
↪ Oh it’s Monday already right? ↪ I’ll see you at the lockers, sure! ↪ How does around 7 sound?
perfect~~ just like your eyes >.<
“Ew, man, ewww…”
You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. “Hey! It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder!”
“No, what’s ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!” Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really can’t blame her. 
You’ve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. He’s definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didn’t lie to you. 
But – the way this dude flirts? Good God. 
Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.
On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and… him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.
That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heart…is obviously elsewhere.
Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.
Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.
The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.
Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.
“He sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.
“Aw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?”
You just groan and roll your eyes. “I’m gonna go see him tonight. He’ll probably offer me his jersey…”
That sobers Yuqi up. “Oh. So it’s time, huh? What’re you gonna tell him?”
You give her a wry smile. “What do you think?”
Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. “Well… At least you tried, yeah?”
Yeah… and failed spectacularly.
And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.
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The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.
For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling. 
You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you – and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him. 
Why're you bumping into him here of all places?
He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox – your life. 
But here he shows up – to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.
You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.
Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, but…what draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks. 
There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.
You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.
Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?
"What are you… oh."
Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.
Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!
But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've… I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't – he doesn't hope for anything more."
Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"
Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What…?"
Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"
His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using – one that you have always secretly fawned over – isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."
You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."
He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that – but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.
Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."
He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"
"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand – but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.
"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle – everything's beneath you!"
Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again – this was never about him! "Yeonjun – no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just – I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"
"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a – a puck bunny?"
"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer for—fuck…"
Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.
You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now… maybe never.
Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.
Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester – you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.
Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now – you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.
But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.
"What…what do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.
Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.
But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him – because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meant…you have no reason to doubt.
"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I… I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us that…"
Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"
He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.
"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."
Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.
"Are you my girl?"
His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.
"I'd – I'd like to be. If…you'd have me?"
"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"
You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.
"Can I kiss you?" 
Oh God, oh God, oh God—
“Yes, please.”
The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.
As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.
His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.
A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.
You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going. 
But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.
He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes – and that he does as well.
With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.
"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"
Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never… you always…"
His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest… You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."
"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"
He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."
A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .
"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealous…"
"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."
He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."
A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"
"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.
Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.
Wait…
Fuck.
Changbin!
Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.
"Back here, Bin!"
"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.
"Should I try Binnie, then?" 
He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.
Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but – your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.
"I… um?"
You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."
"I… can see that, I guess…"
To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.
"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"
Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The – the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"
"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."
"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"
And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.
"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right now…"
You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."
He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"
You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."
Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"
"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile. 
He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."
And then he kisses you again.
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© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.
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littlecrittereli · 2 months
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So I was reading this transcript of an interview the Kratt brothers did and at one point Martin talks about how he almost became a veterinarian, but ended up changing his mind and becoming a zoologist.... so I raise you.... TEAM MEDIC MARTIN?????
Bro carries around a slew of random medical supplies on him at all times. (Just like the creature power disks nobody understands how he can remember where everything is but he's always handy with exactly what he needs)
Chris skins his knees climbing up a cliff? Martin's got bandages and antibacterial spray.
Koki burns her hand while tuning up the Tortuga? He's got burn cream and a cool towel and making sure she compresses it for at least 10 minutes
and God forbid someone in the Tortuga so much as SNIFFLES in his presence. It's bed rest, soup, and fluids from there.
And beyond that, I think he'd be very knowledgeable about natural remedies too. They ran out of cooling ointment for their sunburns? its okay, they can use the aloe vera plant sitting in the window! Aviva is nauseous because she's had nothing but redbull and coffee for 2 days? peppermint oil and ginger tea!
Just like how they learned from the Orangutans about the leaves that relieve muscle sores, Martin would pull a lot of inspiration from nature's remedies.
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Behold, a bracket!
Text form below the cut because trying to copy all the 256 into the alt text sounded.... horrifying. Warning for 128 matchups, seriously, this list is long, and so I've avoided adding the artists until the polls.
a note: the pinned post has started misbehaving, so only open polls will be directly linked. closed polls instead have the results page linked in the set header, all the polls are linked from there
Set 1
The Lament for Icarus (Miao He) vs The Lament for Icarus (Herbert Draper)
The angel came to me in a fever hallucination, perched upon my bed as I returned from the bathroom. vs Sweet Brown Snail
Figures vs A Philosopher Lecturing on the Orrery
Happy Shoppers vs Hubble Deep Field
Lovers Painting vs Bath Curtain
Dr. Helen Taussig vs Une Martyre
Orangoutang étranglant un sauvage de Bornéo (Orangutan strangling a Borneo savage) vs Can’t Help Myself
Rape vs Technicolor Hiroshima
Set 2
A Walk at Dusk vs Based on “Autoportrait with the Model” by Maria-Rayevska Ivanova
Diary Page vs Les Jours Gigantesques (The Titanic Days)
Dead of Night vs You Won't
Christina's World vs Bobby
Untitled (I’m Turning Into A Specter Before Your Very Eyes And I’m Going To Haunt You) vs Two Sisters (On the Terrace)
Sharecropper vs Lustmord
The Parca and the Angel of Death vs Untitled (Zdzisław Beksiński)
Stress vs The Fallen Angel
Set 3
Device to Root Out Evil vs Travelling Light
Diana vs Fifty Days at Iliam: The Fire that Consumes All before It
The Plains, from Memory vs Exotic Bodies
Doubting Thomas vs Self-Portrait in the Bathroom Mirror
Empty Nest vs Somebody Fell From Aloft
Anguish vs If I Died
Cat in Obsolete Bath vs You're Not Boring Anymore
Salvator Mundi (Savior of the World) vs Untitled (billboard of an empty unmade bed)
Set 4
There Will Be No Miracles Here vs Symphony of the Sixth Blast Furnace
Fox Hunt vs Tarpaulin
Khajuraho Group of Monuments vs Ranakpur Jain Temple
ปราสาทสัจธรรม (The Sanctuary of Truth) vs Grande Panorama de Lisboa
Heroic Head of Pierre de Wissant, One of the Burghers of Calais vs The Weather
The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit vs If this is art
Statue of Vincent and Theo van Gogh vs Jeanne d’Arc écoutant les voix (Joan of Arc listening to the Voices)
Fountain vs Judith Slaying Holofernes
Set 5
Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands) vs Cave of El Castillo
Chauvet Cave Bear vs Uffington White Horse
Laocoön and His Sons vs Winged Victory of Samothrace
Crouching Aphrodite vs Statue of Taweret
Guardian Figure vs Kūya-Shonin (Saint Kuya)
Ancient Greek doll vs Arena #7 (Bears)
Enbu (炎舞) (Dancing in the Flames) vs Yearning Shadows
Belfast to Byzantium vs Freedom
Set 6
The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayan vs Portraits
The Blood Mirror vs Nighthawks
Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate vs "Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)
Lady Agnew of Lochnaw vs Forgotten Dreams
Saint Bride vs Pixeles (a group of 9 works)
War Pieta vs The Sunset
The Handmaidens of Sivawara Preparing the Sacred Bull at Tanjore for a Festival vs Ajax and Cassandra
Nāve (Death) vs Abstraction
Set 7
Yes vs Meeting on the Turret Stair
Hacked to Death II vs Stańczyk
Closeness Lines Over Time vs Voice of Fire
The Maple Trees at Mama, the Tekona Shrine and Tsugihashi Bridge vs Portrait of Sir Thomas More
Survival Series: In a Dream You Saw a Way vs Takiyasha the Witch and the Skeleton Spectre
Death blowing bubbles vs The Kitchen Table Series
Painting 1946 vs In the Grip of Winter
Untitled (Black and Gray) vs NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt
Set 8
Blue Plate Special vs Red Cedar
Palace of Fine Arts vs Mosque–Cathedral of Córdoba
Le Château des Pyrénées (The Castle of the Pyrenees) vs Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray
Moby Dick vs Viva la Vida, Watermelons
Venus Envy Chapter One (Of the First Holy Communion Moments Before the End) vs how to look at art
St. Sebastian vs Untitled #12
Carroña vs The invincible one
Untitled (Two Dogs) vs The Dog
SECOND HALF
Set 9
David (Donatello) vs David (Michelangelo)
The Other Side vs The Temptation of St. Jerome
Seated Woman with Bent Knees vs Starry Night
Headdress - Shadae vs Untitled for the Image Flow's Queer Conscience exhibit
Woman with Dead Child (Frau mit totem Kind) vs Les Amants (The Lovers)
Siroče na majčinom grobu (Orphan on Mother's Grave) vs You Make My World a Better Place to Find
Fighting Against SARS Memorial Architectural Scene (弘揚抗疫精神建築景觀) vs Fallingwater
Resting vs The Hull
Set 10
Olive Trees vs Worship
Glow vs Wheatfield with Crows
Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X vs Untitled (He Plays Very Badly)
D.I.Y. by John Wiswell vs The Tragedy
Judith and the Head of Holofernes vs Beethovenfries (Beethoven Frieze)
The Memory of Me (How Could I Forget) vs oh god i had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but i’m too drunk for words
I am happy because everyone loves me vs 瀕危形態 (Endangered Forms)
Three Scaffolders vs Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan
Set 11
San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk vs Water-Lilies, Reflection of a Weeping Willow
The Grief of the Pasha vs Monolith in Vigeland Sculpture Park
Passion vs Space Diner
Hamlet and Ophelia vs Two Earthlings
Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth vs Seer Bonnets
Photograph from "SNAP OSAKA" Collection vs Clytemnestra after the Murder
“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) vs The Lovers (TIE)
Kedai Ubat Jenun vs Orange Store Front
Set 12
The Apotheosis of War vs Portrait of the Dancer Aleksandr Sakharov
Julie Manet vs Mouth
The Icebergs vs Kaleidoscope Cats III
Maman vs Caza Nocturna (Night Hunt)
The Book of Kells Folio 188r: Luke carpet page vs Ardagh Chalice
Yusuf and Zulaikha vs Dome of the Rock mosaics
Rowan Leaves and Hole vs Untitled (prisonhannibal)
Le Désespéré (The Desperate Man) vs The Dedication
Set 13
Deimos vs Dog and Bridge
The Mocking of Christ vs Prudence
The Broken Column vs Siberian Ice Maiden shoulder tattoo
Transi de René de Chalon (Cadaver Tomb of René of Chalon) vs Head of Christ
The Day vs Spirit of Haida Gwaii
Eleanor Boathouse at Park 571 vs Jatiya Sangsad Bhaban জাতীয় সংসদ ভবন (National Parliament House)
Juventud de Baco (Bacchus Youth) vs Barges on the Seine
Oath of the Horattii closeup vs Visit hos Excentrisk Dam (Visit to an eccentric lady)
Set 14
Christ Crucified (With Donor) vs St. Francis
Thunder Raining Poison vs Piazza d'Italia
The Grove vs Among the Waves
Pintura Mural de Alarcón vs Sagrada Família stained-glass windows
Noonday Heat vs La Dame à la licorne (The Lady and The Unicorn)
Matroser i Gröna Lund (Sailors in Gröna Lund) vs Gielda Plakatu
Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks vs The Garden of Earthly Delights
Kuoleman puutarha (The Garden of Death) vs Haavoittunut enkeli (The Wounded Angel)
Set 15
i've wasted a lifetime pretending to be me vs da oracle
minus #37 vs Panel from Fun Home
Excerpt from illustrated edition of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner vs La Mort de Marat (The Death of Marat)
The Veil vs Düsseldorf 4 (Museum Kunst Palast)
Capriccio vs Zodiac calendar for La Plume
The official imperial portrait of empress dowager Cixi vs José y Maria
Blooming Lilacs vs Lágrimas De Sangre (Tears of Blood)
An Interlude vs Boy Staring at an Apparition
Set 16
Mermer Waiskeder: Stories of the Moving Tide vs The Gran Hotel Ciudad de México Art Nouveau interior
Unfinished Painting vs To Arms!
Memorial to a Marriage vs The Island
Dropping a Han Dynasty Urn vs A Few Small Nips
Saturn Devouring His Son vs Guernica
Fairy Princesses vs Lamentation over the Dead Christ
Mummy with An Inserted Panel Portrait of a Youth vs Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party
Agnus vs The Cup Of His Murders Is Flowing Over And In His Coat Shall Be Many Curses
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freedomfireflies · 1 year
Text
Harry in Your Highlight Reel
Thought I'd try my hand at this trend (trope? style?)! No idea if I'm doing it right, but he's cute so...it doesn't matter
July 17, 2019
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The day we thought we'd give the zoo a try. He was convinced the orangutan was staring at him.
It was not.
He was also convinced that it wanted to crawl through the bars and start combing through his hair to eat it.
He then spent the rest of the day asking me if his hair looked "edible," and I spent the rest of the day wishing the orangutan had eaten me instead.
August 03, 2021
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"Let's go out to dinner!" he said. "It'll be fun!" he said.
Last time I let this beautiful, British bastard convince to do anything, I swear to God.
First of all, we got a flat tire on the way to the restaurant. And then realized very quickly that neither one of us actually knew how to change a tire.
So, we took an Uber (even though he has enough money to just...buy a brand new car, but whatever), and it smelled like pickles. So...you know, great start.
The restaurant was packed, and apparently it was bring your horny ass to dinner and stare at my boyfriend night. You know, just another great perk. I believe we got a solid five seconds where someone wasn't trying to sit on his lap.
The couple next to us was in the middle of breaking up, and honestly...it was kind of fun to listen to. We made bets, which was terrible of us, but long story short, Harry owes me 10 bucks.
They got our order wrong, which wasn't a big deal except for the fact that Harry has an "allergy" to tomatoes (he just doesn't like them, and always ends up shoving them onto my plate) (which he did) (and I loved them)
Then, we went to the bar to get a drink before we left and he choked on an olive.
So...overall, just an average date night for us.
10/10 will probably let him convince me to do it again and I hate myself for it.
September 29, 2022
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Found this throwback in my camera roll the other day, and sent it to Harry while he was in a meeting. Made a joke about wanting to sit on his lap and bite all over his thighs (as one does, of course), and then asked what the fuck was up with his toes. Mostly just to make him squirm during his appointment.
Uh, turns out I didn't send it to Harry.
I sent it to Anne.
And because she's Anne, she completely ignored what I said and made some comment about how little he was, how precious, and how he's all grown up.
Anyway, long story short, I won't be going home for Christmas this year, and will immediately be throwing myself under a car (shoutout to my hero, Mr. Jason Sudeikis, love ya buddy)
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
June 04, 2020
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He's gonna look so sexy in adult diapers 😍😍😍
March 11, 2023
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Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline 🥰
No, but why was his hair so flowy? Fuck Prince Eric, this is Ariel. Or Ariel's daughter, from the second one. Oh, he'd crush that. Hold up, lemme call his agent
Edit: After showing this to Harry, he has demanded I retract my statement and amend it to clarify that he feels like more of a Belle type? And then suggested I play The Beast, so...he'll be sleeping on the couch for the next few weeks.
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.
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dialoguestetatet · 2 months
Text
Hwangyeon Choi x fem!reader
Fluff, OOC, I got carried away a little in the end, oops. I realized that I was starting to like him a little bit too much
The idiot in love pt.2 (pt.1 is here)
masterlist
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For anyone who forgot, Hwangyeon Choi was a very confident person. Therefore, he sat absolutely calmly at a cafe table and waited for your arrival, his leg didn't even twitch from tension, and he didn't tap his fingers on the countertop to the rhythm of the Baby Shark melody. Where did he even hear that tune?
Hwangyeon was cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. He wasn't nervous at all. He was serene as the Buddha. There were definitely no butterflies tap dancing in his stomach. What could have gone wrong? Well, anything, because as it turned out, the universe had some personal scores with him and tried to make him look like an absolute fool. Hwan sat and mentally went over the worst-case scenarios for a date: from the fact that he would turn a cup of coffee over on you, to the fact that an escaped lion from a passing traveling circus would attack the cafe on that day and at that time, and you would have to run to the roof of the tallest building. Oh, wait, no, it wasn't like a lion, but a gorilla. Or an orangutan? There's no difference, but didn't the lion escape and make friends with a wild boar and a jerboa? Or was it a meerkat and a warthog? And what did a lion and monkeys have to do with it? Why was he sitting here at all and shaking his leg so that the table wobbled like in an earthquake? Where was he? Who was he? Baby Shark?
"Hey, Hwangyeon! Have you been waiting long? Sorry I'm late", you walked up to the table and waved at him.
He jumped up so abruptly that his knee hit the table. It was painful, but definitely worth it to see you in all your glory. Your face seemed to glow under the rays of the sun, your eyes sparkled with joy, and your lips broke into the most tender smile that has ever been addressed to him. But suddenly your face was filled with concern. "Are you okay? Does it hurt much?"
"What?" What are you talking about? Did you really feel how much his heart fluttered? Was it pounding that loud?
"Your knee", you put your hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little.
Which knee? He didn't have knees, if you keep touching him, he'll have a heart attack, you'll have to call an ambulance, then the date will definitely be ruined. He needed to pull himself together urgently. Oh God, your hand was still on his shoulder, did you want to take him to his grave before he's thirty?
"No, no, it's alright!" He jerked to the side and you took your hand away. Oh no, bring it back, why did he need shoulders at all if your hand wasn't going to be on them? "By the way, you look really pretty".
"Oh, thank you, Hwan, you look great yourself". No, he didn't blush, he was as tough as a tin soldier. Didn't he burn down in the end of the story? What did it matter? You called him Hwan, he'll need to come up with beautiful names for your future daughter.
"Th- thank you", DID HE STUTTER? This shame can only be washed away with his blood. While you were sitting down at the table, Hwangyeon was thinking about how painful it is to commit seppuku and why masochism has always been in fashion.
"I hope you don't mind that I've already ordered?" It wasn't for nothing that he's been scouring your entire Instagram in search of what you liked.
You smiled at him, "Not at all, you guessed my favorite. And I really like this cafe, it's amazing that you suggested going here". God, stop smiling, or he'll have to lean across the table and kiss you. It's a well-known fact that if a person you're madly in love with was sitting in front of you and smiling at you, then you have to kiss them, even if you're on a first date. He didn't make up the rules.
So far, the dialogue has progressed quite productively, Hwan has already learned more about what you do, a little about your hobby (he'll have to google more to be able to support you in this), and about your favorite book (he'll also need to read it, so it'll take some time before he can insert any phrase from it into your conversation).
"You do cycling, don't you?", your question caught him off guard, because he was thinking about whether it was possible to gently take your hand. Wasn't your hand just lying next to the cup? Most likely, your hand was very lonely and cold, so he'll be happy to warm you. Now, what was the question again?
"Oh, yeah, I've been doing this since I was a kid. I love this feeling when you ride a bike, and there's only wind around, the world seems to freeze. I'm pretty good at it and quite popular among cyclists", surely he couldn't miss the chance to brag in front of you.
"I really want to see it sometime", you ran your fingers over the cup.
"Of course, come to the competition, and witness my victory," Hwangyeon gently ran the pads of his fingers over your knuckles. You laughed and moved your hand a little closer to him. "Huh, you're a confident man, I like that." He carefully wrapped his much larger hand around yours, and your palm fitted his perfectly. He stroked your knuckles with his thumb. Suddenly, you intertwined your fingers with his and looked shyly from under your eyelashes. Hwan smiled and continued to massage the point between your thumb and forefinger.
You walked out of the cafe holding hands. While you were ranting about your favorite show, Hwangyeon was considering the possibility of getting slapped in the face and being known as the guy who can't keep his hands to himself if he kissed you. There were two options, the first one was to kiss you, get slapped in the face and watch you run away with the words "you're acting too fast, did you think I was a girl of easy virtue?", and the second one was not to kiss you and regret it until the next date. What if you don't want another date? It was going pretty well, wasn't it? You were smiling, laughing, chatting, holding hands. Your hand is so small, so thin, your skin is so delicate compared to his. He was wondering what ring size you have. This was a first date, calm down, people usually waited a few years after they officially became a couple. What if you don't want to date him? Maybe he should dig a grave right in that vacant lot that he often drove past as a child? He'll simply wait in a hole to die like a giraffe. Why did he have only animals on his mind all day?
"Hwan," you said his name softly. You've already stopped by your house, facing each other. He looked into your eyes and realized that he shouldn't have overthought it. You were standing there beaming with joy, and your lips were so kissable, so it was impossible not to do it. Gently running his hand over your cheek, he touched your lip with his thumb. "May I?" Hwan whispered, leaning closer to your face. "Yes," you breathed into his lips. Fireworks exploded in front of his eyelids from the first touch of your lips. As soft as he thought. As gentle as he imagined. As sweet as he dreamed. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he pulled you even closer, hugging you around the waist. At first, a timid and tender kiss quickly turned into a passionate one. You ran your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck while he greedily stole your breath. A shiver ran down his spine as you moaned softly against his lips. Hwangyeon bit your lower lip and pulled it with his teeth. You whimpered and trembled in his arms as he parted your lips and slipped his tongue into your mouth. He was crazy about the way you clung to him, scratched his neck with your nails, sucked on his tongue. He stroked your waist, put his hands on your hips, but quickly returned his hands back, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to deny himself the pleasure of thrusting his thigh between your legs and, clasping your hips, pressing you against him. With great difficulty, he pulled away from your lips. You mewled in protest and reached back. Seeing the blush on your face, half-closed eyes and bitten lips, Hwan began to erratically leave kisses on your nose, cheeks, chin, moving to your neck, unable to resist running his tongue over the beating vein and biting the thin skin with his teeth. "Hwan, please", his legs almost buckled from your pleading moan, he couldn't stop himself and led a trail of kisses to the place between your neck and ear, sucking the skin there in the mark of possession. Breathing heavily, you looked into each other's eyes.
"You're alright, princess?" Hwangyeon chuckled, seeing how disheveled you are.
"More than that, actually," you lovingly stroked his goatee.
"So you don't mind repeating it again?" Please say yes, otherwise he'll cry right here. He won't even be embarrassed by it.
"A kiss?" You're holding your breath.
"A date," Hwan rubbed his nose against your cheek, "and a kiss, a lot of kissing, actually."
"So, just dates and kisses then?" You pouted a little.
"To tell you the truth, I would die happy if you let me be your boyfriend." God, give him the strength to hold on a little longer and not to start making out with you right then and there.
"Oh no, I need my boyfriend alive, so try to survive." Was that a yes? It wasn't a hallucination, right? Hwan's not going to wake up from a coma right now, there's a zombie apocalypse around, and his best friend took his wife away?
"Then I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at regular intervals". You giggled and pulled him by the neck, kissing his lips again.
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