#There's a lot of Vriska shenanigans | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cure-typhoon · 5 months

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please please please talk more about the beta troll’s friendship 🙏

You have summoned me in my favorite subject: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 FRIENDSHIP!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Take a sit because this is going to be long, so long i may end up dividing into different posts!

Okey so sadly we don't have a lot of info of the full group dynamic besides some clues and what we know is them literally at their worst thinking they we're going to die in a meteor,after a full one month campaign in the game they had won yet was taken from them being chased by an undefeatable enemy that destroyed their planets and probably their lusus too. And at the end three of them going on a rampage and killing the rest of the team

So not the most reliable info of how their normal dynamic as a friendgroup would be, but tbh it could never be "healthy friendgroup" in a human sense because, well, they live in Alternia.

But even in hell, the flower of friendship can blossom, so lets talk about the fucked up friendship between these kids:

We know little about how their friendship started, contrary with the Beta Kids that we know because of June's birthday presente for Jade arriving in the past to young Jade with her pesterchum and her probably looking at the clouds in Prospit and seeing there the pesterchum of Rose and Dave following suit

Because the Beta Trolls are a much bigger group and we dont really know if they actually celebrate their wriggling days, as none of the trolls mentioned it but it could also be in part because of Karkat's disdain for the celebration or them maybe not knowing because he is a very private kid after all

Maybe Kanaya was the first troll that befriended all of them, like Jade was and both of them being the assigned Space player of their group and the first ones to wake in Prospit, but i also doubt that considered she didnt went through the birthday gift shenanigan that young Jade went through

So what most likely happened: The trolls who we're closest to eachother (Equius and Vriska, Eridan and Feferi, Aradia and Tavros, Terezi and Vriska* (not totally sure about that one) and maybe Sollux and Aradia/Feferi) befriended eachother first and meet the rest (Karkat, Nepeta, Gamzee, Kanaya) online and just shared their info between eachother.

I honestly wonder who thought of the idea of all sharing their Trollian between eachother, maybe Feferi? maybe it just happened overtime? but what matters right now is the

F R I E N D S H I P

So today we will talk about the underrated friendships between the group

Starting with Aradia and Tavros! Both members of Team Charge, i see very few people talk about them as friends even though they were obviously very close considering they we're part of a Flarp campaign together.

Both seem to match pretty well personality wise, both adventurous and wanting to have fun in the game, Aradia knows that Tavros picked a hard class for himself yet she still encourages him and tries to cheer him on and advice him in the case of Vriska trying to get under his skin.

When Vriska starts to surrond him, she tries to communicate with her first, but sadly she and terezi where distracted by Doc Scratch, so he gets paralized

Side note: After Aradia and Terezi, his third option for asking for help is Karkat, which is...interesting, they dont talk a lot but when they do its Tavros trying to get advice/help from him (2 out of 3 convos), so either Karkat and Tavros have more convos besides the ones showed (very likely) or Karkat just having a reputation of helping with issues that he is the first one who comes to Tavros's mind

also Karkat calling him bro is so fucking funny cdbhd, idk if its sarcasm or if its genuine like with Eridan but he seems worried for a little before going on a rant about how stupid this is, only to come back trying to advice him to do this in private (also he winks at him as GTavrossprite but thats smt for the Tavkat shippers)

Anyway, back to Aradia, after her death we dont know about their relationship that much, we know that the whole reason that this whole revenge cycle was because Aradia wanted to avenge Tavros

But after her death, we don't know if they talk or if Tavros even knows she is dead, as it was mostly secret that only Sollux, Vriska, Terezi and Equius seem to know,

What we know is that Aradia keeps Tavros close to her heart, as the only reason she didnt straight up kill Vriska is

Because he was there to see it

And thats all the info we have of their relationship while Aradia was a robot, is more than likely Tavros confronted Vriska (besides creating Bec Noir) because Aradiabot had just exploded and he was blaming her for that too (especulation)

Their post-death/revival shows them having the same relationship pre-aradia's death, after they find eachother in the afterlife

Theyre big pals :)

Staying with Tavros, another friendship people dont seem to talk a lot about is Kanaya and Tavros, which tbh, we dont have a conversation on screen between them, but we know they talk and Kanaya tries to mediate to help him when Vriska is bullying him

And also, even after she cut Vriska out because of the whole ''Having a crush on her but finding out she has a crush on Tavros'' (probably because she was sulking) she seems to have a fine relationship with Tavros, as she made a Tinkerbull plushie for him

To other friendships, Kanaya and Feferi! Another group of trolls with very few coversations, but we can easily tell in those that they cared for eachother

They have a lot in common, being of the few trolls who woked up in their moons before the game, having a huge responsability as their lusus can either kill or revive their entire civilization, being in a unhappy moiralliagance (with their cases kinda mirroring eachother, with Feferi not wanting to be in any quadrants while Eridan wants to change them, while Kanaya wants to change quadrants while Vriska seems to be fine with where they are) and knowing their lusus were going to die when they were 13

Feferi and Kanaya seem to have very a similar relationship as Karkat and Eridan, where they advise eachother about their moirals + possible romantic relationships. And their very contrasting personalities helps them balance eachother out

Feferi is even comfortable enough to invite Kanaya to the horn pile and knowing Kanaya's expressions enough to guess that she is nervous about coming off as meddling with them

After Feferi gets killed off, Kanaya is already ready to attack, only waiting to see what Eridan is planning to do, attack her first or trying to escape

If it weren't for Kanaya distracting herself with the matriorb, and Eridan inmediately picking on this opportunity

To piss her off enough to set her off and attack him first

So she is an easier target that he can kill her off without a fight

Speaking about this two, next time we will to talk about the complicated (annoying) friendship between these two, why next time? because this post is already getting to fucking long!

Come here for Part 2 -> Here! (when its done this will get updated with a link lol)

#i need to name this saga as it will be multiple posts #The unspoken friendships #good enough ig #homestuck #beta trolls #aradia megido #tavros nitram #kanaya maryam #feferi peixes #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #jade harley

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elkian · 1 year

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Oh yeah since it’s Homestuck Day here’s a post I’ve been sitting on for a bit.

Davesprite’s tragedy is even deeper than is immediately obvious.

The scale, time-wise, of the base game - the Alpha Timeline - is something of a joke. It pokes fun, I think, at the concept of Webcomic Time - that an event taking place over dozens of pages over the course of months is, in-canon, only taking place across a day or two.

But Davesprite. Oh, Davesprite.

Dave-the-sprite came from a timeline 4 months (chrono) past Day 1. He’d been hopping enough for it to come out to maybe 1 year for him. He’s very lanky in the animation, and when Rose’s dreamself merges with her Alpha self, the sprites are very slightly different sizes. Future Mutie is visibly older.

But then The Alpha Timeline? The Course Of The Game?

One. Day.

What an absolute whiplash, you guys. He’s been grinding and prepping and mentally readying himself and fucking grieving for his pretty much only friends for nearly a year. Remember how Dragon Ball Z had the Hyper time chamber and it was mentioned that it’s hard to use alone? Because being in there on your lonesome, that’s tough. That’s Dave. He had Rose, who was also grieving and having her own crises that he may or may not have been equipped to help her through at all, and he’s doing all this.

And in like, maybe 12 hours, it’s suddenly all over.

And then he finds out it’s gonna be another three years, but hey, this time he has Jade and John, the people he missed so desperately that he was willing to give up being The Real Dave, a real human, for.

And to them? He’s an extra.

He’s Bonus Dave. He’s Davesprite. He’s Basically Dave, (almost) As Good As The Real Thing!

Like, it’s very hard for me to articulate, but the way that both of them refer to him during the course of their cruise is... dehumanizing, in differing ways.

John calls him Dave, because He’s Basically Dave. (This is after John asked him to let The Real Dave in on their convo, recall). He doesn’t need to be treated any different, because he’s indistinguishable from The Real Dave, Pretty Much!

Jade isn’t as bad - possibly her stint as+fusion with Jadesprite helped - but the way Grimbark Jade loses her temper with Dave post-jump is... telling. She blames a boy she hasn’t spoken with in 3 years for something that a person who is not actually him did.

And he just! Fucking gets forgotten! I know Davepeta feels like an asspull to many readers, but honestly, it’s probably the best thing to happen to Davesprite since his John bit it. Like, was he the one from John’s timeline, or did he not die when the rebooted planet blew up or what? I’ve never understood that.

At least as Davepeta they have multiple people who are genuinely glad to be around them. At least Equius cares about one half and AR doesn’t not-care about the other and they’ve basically got a bestie in Arquiusprite! Getting fused with a reanimated alien catgirl in an alternate timeline(????) was probably the best thing to happen to Dave for a long, long time.

And I’m not even done!

Let’s talk Terezi.

Once we get through Act 5 and the trolls connect with the humans, we get a whole Fairy Godtroll situation that’s kinda cute. John gets Karkat and Vriska in his ear, Jade gets Tavros and Feferi and Kanaya and Karkat (Jade gets a lot of new people, doesn’t she?), Rose still has her Kanaya convos.

And Dave.

Gets.

Terezi.

They’re a great duo, very fun to watch - even with Vriska and Terezi’s weird rivalry shenanigans getting tangled up in it from time to time. As far as he knows, she’s just a bit of an internet weirdo who’s fun enough to hang out with.

As far as Alpha Dave knows, that is.

Davesprite came back, remember, to fix the timeline after Terezi got his John killed. Dave comes back, and argues with his John - that’s the first thing he gets to say to his best friend, one of his only friends, after a year of grieving in a dead, lonely session with only Rose for company. If he loses the fight, John dies.

After some effort, he gets his dumbass (beloved) pal to stop doing the stupid thing, then gives up his humanity (his existence as a core player, his role, his autonomy) and jumps into the sprite. Calsprite was a void of dead-eyed laughter and horror, so he wants to give the kids the best shot they can get, and having a non-cagey sprite on their side is a huge boost.

And Dave, Alpha Dave?

He ignores this.

He takes Terezi’s advice, over and over. Davesprite gives him the medallion, and we never see it used (we never see any sprite medallion used, as far as I can recall). Davesprite has to actively contact his player (his luckier, prime, Alpha self) and make him accept help, like guarding his body in his sleep. Meanwhile, Alpha Dave is getting codec support from the person who killed John, precipitating Davesprite’s entire existence in the narrative.

With the way the comic is structured, it’s really easy to blip over this, but this is what’s happening. Davesprite’s POV must be a goddamn horror movie, complete with futile shouting at the protagonists to stop going into the scary tunnels and following the advice of people who are blatantly out to hurt them. No fucking wonder he eventually fucked off the find Bro, who despite being an abusive piece of shit (did Davesprite ever get the chance to work that one out for himself?), is at least a constant. He’s the sole tie to the life this Dave left behind. Damn. And Dave doesn’t even come looking for him after he “dies”! If Davesprite didn’t vandalize that poster, would Alpha Dave have even known he was alive?

....fuck, is that why he keeps pasting orange text onto things? And provoking John into anger? Is he just doing his damnedest to keep from being trivialized and forgotten?

In the story, in the grand scheme of things, Davesprite is key to keep John from getting killed, and past that?

He has no purpose.

There’s no point to his existence.

His player seeks neither his advice nor his protection. His friends consider him part of the game they’re playing, rather than (an iteration of) their friend. The trolls mock him by doing nothing he can stop or really argue against. His rage has nowhere to go, so he has no rage.

No wonder he chases after Bro. No wonder he chills with Jadesprite. No wonder, no wonder. What a mess. What a disaster. He spends three years on the damn ship and as soon as the groups meet up, Jade begins projecting the time he spent with her on a guy she hasn’t seen since she was 13! And Alpha Dave just says “well, he’s bird me” and accepts this, except when he might get blamed for something he didn’t actually do!

God.

#April 13th 2023 #elk text #davesprite #meta #homestuck #13th #April #2023

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cyber-corp · 9 months

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An actual summary of Homestuck Act 6's intermissions

by someone who’s a page away from Collide

Let’s do this lightning-round style.

After breaking through the fourth wall on the ship and getting the Gift of Gab (lol), John and Jade prepare for a three-year-long voyage to meet up with the gang, with Davesprite, Nannasprite, and a variety of other faces in tow. They write a letter for the crew.

The Monarch (previously the Mendicant) and the firefly buddy (I've forgotten their name) plead for the Vagabond's life. She takes him to the trolls and kid's rendezvous spot.

The trolls finally meet up with Dave and Rose, who have indeed reached God Tier. Half-dead Sollux and GT Aradia show up as well. They plan to host a "funeral" for Sollux, who is just sort of watching in disgust.

After Karkat's bucket-human-troll-sloppy-fueled breakdown from John's letter, the Vagabond, and the firefly show up, and the gang sets off through the Furthest Ring.

Intermission 2

Hussie, who was taking care of Spades Slick after he fucking killed the world by shooting Snowman, is shot dead by Lord English. I'm sure he'll show up later though. They always do.

It's been about a year in between the intermissions. While Rose explains what the Scratch did, Karkat attempts to explain the troll love quadrants to Dave. They draw dicks, fight, Dave wins by a mile through the suplex

Meanwhile, John, Jade and friends play the Ghostbusters II MMORPG, which is hilarious that that is even a thing in the first place. Jaspersprite sings a birthday song for him, Jade gets dogmad, which causes John to black out.

After getting harrassed by an eepy Roxy, John encounters Meenah (the best character!!!!!) for the first time. He takes a trident from her and wakes back up.

In a dream bubble, Terezi meets Aranea (second best character!!!!), who offers her to heal her sight. In another dream bubble, Hussie proposes to Vriska with a ring. Because of course he does.

Intermission 3 (and some other stuff)

Aranea invites Jake to Meenah's dream bubble, where she finds quite a lot of fighting happening. After telling a story of the Condensce, Jake embarrasses himself by attempting to wallop Meenah. He wakes up after getting whacked, but Brain Ghost Dirk sticks around.

After a "quick" game of Meenah Quest, we get a glimpse of what John and Jade are up to; watching Con Air baybee!!!! Except John has a big freakout over hating the movie, hating Davesprite, and passes out. What a guy.

PM and Noir are locked in chase before they enter a bubble of Jack's own massacre of the Battlefield, before John awakens and fights him. Rose shows up for a brief second and John uses his cool-ass windy powers as well.

After the battle, John wanders into a desert, finds a ring, and finds Tavros (wHO DESPERATELY WANTS THE RING,) and Vriska. She shares her plan to find a treasure that'll defeat Lord English.

After another game of Meenah Quest (where she unsuccessfully gets no one on her team), we go back to the meteor, where Rose drinks and forgets her date with Kanaya (best couple. fight me) and then falls down the stairs. They warned her, dog.

John wakes up with the ring, soyjaks, and the intermission ends.

Intermission 5 (CALIBORN TOOK uP THE LAST SPOT)

Dave and Karkat intervene Terezi, who is a massive wreck because of her degrading romance with Gamzee and letting Aranea heal her eyesight.

John, Vriska, Aranea, Meenah and Aradia find a big green cave in a dream bubble, where they also find a juju. It's the Homestuck House! John sticks his hand in it, his arm appears throughout multiple points in the comic, and then voops out of reality completely. He has an INTENSE STAREDOWN with Caliborn and wakes up on LOMAX, Jake's planet.

I don't usually do this but

(skips many, many important bits and pieces)

Vriska comes back (thanks to John's time shenanigans), plans out everything to come and verbally abuses her ghost self, Dave and Dirk have a feelings jam, dead pre-retcon Terezi and Ghost Vriska rejoice in facing the end, and everybody just about gets ready to

Collide.

This has been by far one of the most bonkers pieces of fiction I have ever read, and nothing gets me more excited than to see all of it come together and wrap all of it up, I hope. Also Caliborn and Calliope are one of the best "Jekyll/Hyde" characters I've seen in a long while!

Whatever lies on the other side of that hyperlink, I sure hope it'll be good.

#john egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #jade harley #karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #meenah peixes #aranea serket #jake english #dirk strider #roxy lalonde #jane crocker gets an honourable mention #tavros nitram #caliborn #okay that should be everyone important #homestuck #gecko boy reads homestuck #[S] collide.

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thewertsearch · 1 year

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Trollian has been our constant companion for the last 500 pages - and now it symbolizes the end of our journey. It’s a nice way to bring things full circle.

Our color symbolism is starting to get a little tangled. Aradia and Karkat are represented by two colors now, and they alternate between both.

Looks like we’re picking up right where this flashback left off. Vriska is the one who will Make Her Pay - and 'Her’ refers to Terezi.

Vriska is about to blind her - but what’s her play? She could easily have Sollux do it, but I’m sure he’s not the only wrench in her toolbox. Are we about to see some Dream Self shenanigans?

Tavros?

Why would sh

SHE CAN FUCKING DO THAT?

Sollux used psionics under Vriska’s control - but I assumed she needed the Mind Honey to activate them. Plus, Tavros has a much more sophisticated ability - he’s not just firing eye beams, he’s communing with another mind.

And you’re telling me Vriska can do this by fucking proxy? This must be an incredible balancing act - like using a claw machine to operate the controls for another claw machine.

Talk about fine control. What the hell are this girl’s limits?

It doesn't look easy, though. She can control people pretty casually, but this chained variant seems to be taking a lot out of her. Granted, she just lost an arm.

Fuck, she just lost an arm. Can’t this wait till tomorrow, Vriska?

Vriska is two steps ahead of me - I didn’t even think about using the dragon. She’s attacking Terezi, by controlling her lusus, by controlling Tavros, while bleeding to death on the floor.

For all her faults, you can’t say she doesn’t have moxie. This is, quite frankly, astounding.

#2578 #homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #s49

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catgirl-catboy · 1 month

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Does anyone ever think about how it is very likely Vriska has in-universe callout posts due to her FLARP shenanigans. (a lot of which happened to background characters, and thus we don't know the full extent of.)

Terezi 100% wrote one, but the spelling is terrible since she was just blinded and is relearning how to type.

#homestuck #vriska #vriska and terezi #my fandoms

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meraki-sunset · 9 months

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i kno i JUST sent u a sprite blood fantroll but i had a really funny idea for one so i made another lol. just imagining the kids time traveling to the future and tavros n vriska (through some sort of shenanigans) getting stuck together in the wild and they just see THIS kid. insert live slig reaction meme here.

tho i think this tavris is a lot less.... explodey than the other one! pretty nice, too. and knows how to stand up for themself! basically the best qualities of tavros and vriska. could be a real eye opener.

anyways sorry for the rambling in ur inbox lol

Thay seem way more chill than Sburb Tavris, for sure, i really like them🌸

#homestuck #csau extra

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explaining-homestuck · 21 days

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What did Gamzee do after the events of the meteor pre and post retcon? The wiki page just made me more confused.

Ooh, here's an interesting one.

One thing to keep in mind is that while a lot of earlier acts made a point of showing exactly what happened to cause things to occur, characters to be in certain places and have certain things happen to them, Act 6 (and more specifically, Act 6 Act 6) tend to throw that out of the window. This is a choice made for a number of reasons: for one, showing every single thing that happens to each character would take forever, especially for two or more timelines worth. Also, narrative obfuscation is a theme of Homestuck, especially A6A6, where Caliborn spills stardust all over the game cartridge, causing glitches to obscure certain events, both for the audience and the characters.

The question given here is "what happens to Gamzee Makara after the meteor trip", so I won't go into much detail about what he specifically does while on the meteor, or in the dream bubbles (though to simplify: he hides in vents for 3 years, plots with Kurloz to help Lord English, romances and abuses Terezi, and ignores Karkat; in the post-retcon timeline Vriska puts a stop to most of this).

However, story-wise, while this is going on, Gamzee appears a couple of times in Jane's session, providing her and her friends with guides (prototyping dead trolls) and taking part in trickster shenanigans. And, he's also seen in Caliborn's session, helping him! What's going on here!?

Let's start with the pre-retcon timeline, in Jane's session. When the meteor arrives, Grimdark Jade arrives and teleports all its passengers (except Gamzee) to LoMaX, where they encounter John.

Gamzee does several things in the Alpha session, which may be impossible to actually order correctly due to the time travel involved, so let's give them in the order they're shown.

Appearance One

First, we see Gamzee, a short while after Jane Crocker entered the Medium (when she returned back to her house at the end of Myststuck), with Aradia Megido's Time Travel Music Boxes (her version of Dave's Time Tables) which allow him to travel through time to any point in the session he's in. He likely retrieved them from somewhere in the meteor, or from a dream bubble. They may also be Damara Megido's, it's impossible to tell.

He's also wearing a fake God Tier outfit, which was made for him by Kurloz Makara in a dream bubble. Furthermore, he has a large variety of bottled potions, which are made from the blood of the seven trolls who died on the meteor (Vriska, Tavros, Equius, Nepeta, Feferi, Sollux, and Eridan); he tries to sell these potions to Jane.

He also has with him a fridge, which contains Vriska Serket and Tavros Nitram's bodies, including Tavros's non-robot legs, which he then prototypes into Jane's Kernelsprite to form Tavrisprite, who proptly spritesplodes, launching Gamzee away from Jane's house.

Appearances Two and Three

According to Roxy Lalonde, Gamzee similarly appeared to create Fefetasprite with her Kernelsprite and Feferi Peixes and Nepeta Leijon's bodies immediately after she arrived back at her house in the Medium post-entry, and can be surmised to have done the same for Jake English's Kernelsprite, making Erisolsprite with Eridan Ampora and Sollux Captor. (Jake also implies this.)

Not much else is known about these appearances.

Appearance Four

While Dirk Strider is having a rather dramatic conversation with Lil Hal about whether or not he's going to prototype him, Gamzee sneaks up behind him and prototypes Equius's body into the Kernelsprite, forming Equiusprite. Hal is then subsequently prototyped, forming ARquiusprite. Gamzee also does a silly honk dance while this is happening, followed by tearing up and prostrating himself before Dirk in reverence of ARquius's majesty.

Gamzee is also present when Dirk joins the Tricksters, the Fefetasplosion, and the Trickster Alchemy Montage. The less said about all that the better.

Appearance Five

At some unknown time, Gamzee was on Derse with the Courtyard Droll, and with him, placed Lil Cal (the green suit one, which Gamzee had in his possession since Murderstuck), as well as a large assortment of knives, a hacksaw, Crowbar's Crowbar (which he received from Kurloz) and a card saying "YOU'RE MOTHER FUCKIN WELCOME" with a picture of Gamzee's face on it, into a pumpkin marked with the words "LET'S PLAY A GAME", which they then transportalized into Jack Noir's Prospit cell. Jack then was cursed by Cal, and proceeded to become Lord Jack, who then destroyed Prospit's moon and a large amount if the main planet itself.

(Technically, Appearance Five is shown before the second half of Appearance Four, but since that takes place in the same location, I grouped it together.)

Appearance Six

Once Jade Harley and John Egbert's battleship arrives in the Alpha Session, Gamzee sneaks aboard the ship after Jade, John, and Davesprite have all left (John by retcon) and steals the Ring of Life John accidentally left on the couch he was sleeping on. He then hides in the fridge, and in his dreams, gives the ring to Aranea Serket, who is revealed to be currently (and possibly previously) manipulating his mind. Aranea uses the Ring to return to life, and appears in the Alpha Session.

It's implied within this section that Gamzee's silence during his actions in the previous parts of Act 6 was due to Aranea's control over him. However, this cannot be proven for sure, although I'll mention it again later.

Appearance Seven

During the chaos on the Land of Frost and Frogs, which would later become the event known as GAME OVER, Gamzee jumps from somewhere under Aranea's control in order to prevent Crocker-Tier Jane from using her Life powers to resurrect the recently killed Grimbark Jade. He grapples and gropes her, until Terezi Pyrope appears, kicking him off of her and engaging in combat with him. She stabs him multiple times, but due to Aranea's influence, he doesn't fight back, and he survives because of his clown immortality.

When Brain Ghost Dirk breaks Aranea's concentration fully (when she's flung back after his re-fakening), Gamzee snaps out of her control reverting to his original StOnEd QuIrK. He asks Terezi to stop, telling her she's hurting him, which causes her to drop her weapons in shock, but he then flies into a clown rage, beating her mercilessly, then hanging her over the lava. Rose attempts to intervene, but Gamzee dodges her spell, then taunts Karkat and Kanaya (who are at the edge of the lava lake) while putting Terezi in a headlock.

[If you want images of this fight, go to the actual comic, please.]

Appearance Eight: GAME OVER

Immediately following Appearance Seven, Gamzee is attacked by Karkat and Kanaya. Using Terezi's canesword, he stabs Karkat twice and throws him into the lava, before Kanaya cuts him in half lengthways with her chainsaw.

This is all of Gamzee's appearances in the Alpha Kids session pre-Retcon. While Hussie has said that Gamzee cannot be killed in any timelines he knows of, bisected Gamzee is very clearly out of the picture for other appearances.

Additional Notes

Because Gamzee had access to time-travel, it's near impossible to position these events in a particular order from his point of view, except that all of them must take place for him after arriving in the Alpha Kids session (otherwise Dave would have been able to similarly skip forward and enter the session without taking the 3 year trip), and appearances 7 and 8 must take place sequentially and last.

The ordering of the first 3 appearances is trivial, as it's likely he didn't time travel at all between 1 and 2-3, just went to the planets to do the prototyping when they appeared.

Aranea may also have been controlling Gamzee through all of his earlier appearances. There's evidence to suggest that she is the narrator for the segment where he tries to sell Jane potions, and that she engineered Tavris's creation in order to pacify Vriska with Tavros's traits, making her less likely to interrupt her plans and also to distract Meenah, but that's dipping into the lines of theory more than facts.

ARquius's creation, and sending Cal to Jack, are likely more motivated by aiding Lord English, whether Gamzee understands why he did them or not.

There'll be another post sometimes soon talking more about Gamzee's motivation, including what cause him to go crazy in Murderstuck, but that's all of this for now.

Except, of course, the other timelines.

Post-Retcon

John's Retcon journey ensured that Terezi would not fall for Gamzee's Murderstuck tricks, and led to her capturing him in the basement shop area. John also prevented her from killing Vriska.

During the meteor trip, Vriska stops Gamzee from doing much of his mischief, preventing his and Terezi's relationship, stopping him from stealing all the bodies, which he complained to Kurloz about in the dream bubbles.

Vriska, using the Music Boxes, also did most of Gamzee's interventions in the Alpha Session, prototyping Jane's Kernelsprite with exclusively Tavros, and Dirk's with ARquius again, in order to help deal with God Cat and de-Crocker Tiering Jane respectively. She left Roxy and Jake's sprites open, which later became Jasprosesprite^2 and Davepetasprite^2, which was not her intention.

(There is a slight inconsistency here, as somebody has to have provided Jack Noir with Cal in order for him to become Lord Jack, and make Jane and Jake become God Tier. Nobody knows how this happens in the post-Retcon timeline, though Vriska creating overpowered Jacks in order to have them later be defeated is a recurring theme with her; all 3 Noirs that took part in [S] Collide have her to blame for their presence in one way or another, if she is the creator of Lord Jack. However, this is once again theory, not facts.)

Upon the arrival of the meteor crew in the session, or perhaps some time before or after, Gamzee was locked in Jane Crocker's fridge by Vriska.

In this fridge he remained for the rest of the comic. It was briefly transported to LoMaX by Jasprose to use as a table for her, Nepetasprite and Jake's tea party, and then once she joined Jane on LoCaH to aid with the coming battle, it was used by ARquius as a weapon against Cans, with Gamzee still inside. When Cans and ARquius began travelling between different moments and locations in the battle, the fridge went with them, eventually ending up on LoTaK, where Dave, Dirk, and Terezi were fighting Lord Jack and Spades Slick.

Gamzee was shown inside the fridge and one point, crying.

Most of LoTaK was subsequently destroyed by Lord Jack's head exploding into a black hole. Terezi, Dave, and Dirk all got clear of the blast via time travel, but Gamzee's fate was unknown.

However, this isn't the end of Gamzee's story after the Meteor.

Caliborn

A Gamzee, wearing a fake God Tier outfit, discovered Calliope and Caliborn's egg on Future Earth C, in Universe C (thousands of years after the events of the Homestuck Epilogues, with Earth's new sun expanded to a red giant reminiscent of Alternia's sun).

How this Gamzee got here is unknown. However, he raised the baby Cherubs the best he could, favouring Calliope to Caliborn (possibly because Caliborn bit him)

Gamzee set their room in the wreckage of the meteor up, providing them with meat, candy, special stardust, computers, their Jujus, the chessboard from the Cherubs famous game, and various other items. Where he got these is unknown, but one of them is Rose Lalonde's book that she and Kanaya Maryam wrote, on the workings of Sburb and the events of their sessions (with additional artwork by Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas). However, he edited it, mostly using Equius's blood, removing references to Lord English, Doc Scratch and himself. He also gave Calliope Karkat's ~ATH book (although neither the version from the Alpha Timeline, as that was destroyed in Karkat's computer explosion, nor the one from the timeline an Aradiabot brought the HoNkhOnK code back from, as that one was covered in blood, and also was already used by Doc Scratch, and once Andrew Hussie, as a scrapbook.)

He also set up Calliope and Caliborn's chains, and then left them alone until Caliborn entered the Medium, taking the Earth with him. At this point, Gamzee appeared to him again, offering to be his guide.

Caliborn shot him a bunch instead.

Gamzee followed him anyway, giving him the Crowbar and a set of keys. This may imply that this is the same Gamzee from [S] Collide, since the Crowbar was wielded by Lord Jack during the battle. The fact that Caliborn's Denizen was Yaldaboath, who was also Dirk's Denizen, and resided at the core of LoTaK, which was also consumed by the black hole, and that Caliborn *also* entered his Medium via a black hole, lend evidence to the theory that Lord Jack's head acted as a portal to Caliborn's session (which may also be an explanation for how ARquius arrived for Caliborn's Masterpiece, though it's one of many possibilities.)

Gamzee may also have got to Earth simply escaping the fridge after LoTaK's destruction, going through the Victory Door, and then waiting for thousands of years, as he might not age along with his clown immortality. He may also have entered the universe via the door at a later time, since there's nothing that confirms you must arrive at a specific time or place.

Hussie says:

I'm not even really sure how he got here, to be honest. Maybe he stowed away in a shitty Liberty? Or maybe he was just hiding in one of the ventshafts on your meteor when you entered? He had YEARS of practice to master that move, now that I think about it.

Anyway, Gamzee then assisted Caliborn in his quest, where they also found Lil Seb and Lil Cal, and the 14 regular members of the Felt. Later, in Caliborn's Masterpiece, they encountered the 8 kids, and in the ensuing battle Gamzee was once again bisected lengthways (likely by Dirk), and half of his body was sucked into Lil Cal, then banished into the void to eventually become part of Lord English.

And that's everything that Gamzee did after the meteor.

I hope this confused you slightly less than the wiki! I'm going to be doing a follow-up explanation on Gamzee's motivation and the factors which changed him from silly clown boy into homicidal maniac cultist (and why that's not actually what happened), as requested by someone else, but that's not going to be the next post, so please, ask me more things! I've done two rather long explanations now, so a short one or two might be good, but feel free to ask anything!

(Oh, and I forwent the Epilogues here, because they're kind of a mess, but I can tell you with 99% certainty that the Gamzee that meets Caliborn is *not* the Gamzee from most of the Epilogues; Vriska kills that one.)

#explaining homestuck #homestuck #homestuck lore #gamzee makara #cw: abuse #cw: blood #cw: gore

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look-how-they-massacred-them · 10 months

Text

Preliminary Poll

Sylvanas Windrunner

Submission reason:

WHERE TO BEGIN.... she's an incredibly traumatized woman who's devoted to protecting her people (the Forsaken) who are reviled by the entire world, as well as geting revenge on Arthas, the man who turned them into undead. But then from Cataclysm onwards she's retconned to have never cared at all for the Forsaken and be entirely selfish and given a convoluted villain arc and is generally treated in an incredibly misogynistic way, both in-universe and by Blizzard's creative team. Once she finally got a redemption arc it felt very unearned because of how poorly written her descent into villainy was. tl;dr she could've been a Vriska if the writers even remotely cared about her

Once a benevolent anti-hero, now a villain who is easily defeated despite their ability. At first her change to villainy wasn't bad, it was actually really cool; But then it just got petty and pathetic, and it makes me want to STRANGLE Blizzard (I already wanted to strangle them prior, and again now... I just REALLY hate Blizzard; I don't play WOW anymore because of all the bullcrud putting up with that company-)... THEN, the writers had the audacity to pull a last minute "SIKE!" and make her redeemed or some crud. Bro, I just want Sylvanas back PLEASE!? They made the villainy undermine all the cool things she's ever done, and then they make the redemption thing undermine everything cool she's ever done as the villain character. I actually still liked her even when she was the questionable villain warchief! Shadowlands has ruined her, AND that game expansion has cause me so much pain and agony (who in Blizzard thought it would be a good idea to make me play for more than 3 hours straight just on one run of the stupid tower dungeon thing... See it's been so long I forgot the name of it-)... Why does Blizzard out of all companies have to own this franchise?!?! They make me so ANGRY! Not only are they abusive towards fans and workers, but their content lacks literally everything (with the exception of their new expansion Dragonlands; Which was really nice...); So anyways, I wish I could fight the writers-. Last but not least, since there is no salvaging "that mess", they ended up sentencing Sylvanas for an eternity of fighting the horrors in hell (LITERALLY)! Now the chances of EVER seeing her character EVER AGAIN is slim as all heck because "nope, she felt bad, so now she's gonna go and do cool shenanigans in the Maw (hell essentially) so no one else has to, cause she's nice now!"... Like bro, HECK NO, who's gonna lead my favorite race of the Horde now? The circus?... Those final words were factual as well, the undead are now ruled by their theoretical local arch-nemeses; Bro these zombie people do not need to suffer any more than they have to in canon GOD DANGIT BLIZZARD! I'm just going to say now, if your people have been tortured by a specific group for as long as they have basically existed, what makes you think it would be a good idea to then put one of their leaders in charge... I don't care if she's dead, or a zombie, she's a relic of the civilization that has been trying to kill you, and is STILL trying to kill you! That and I hate how stupidly unaware the new undead leader is; She literally can't empathize with the undead (Sylvanas could! WHICH IS WHY BLIZZARD SHOULD'VE NEVER DONE ANY OF THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!). I was hoping for some cool zombie solidarity, and all I got was the largest slap in the face canon could give to it's zombie fanboy. Now every time I play my edgy little undead warlock in game, the nightmares kick-in and the sorrows unleash... I don't think me or my Warcraft account will ever recover from the tomfoolery...

there is a LOT of specifics like you can read her wiki page if you want - it's long - but she has an insanely cool origin story (shes an elf that defended her home against an undead scourge, was killed in action, brought back as a banshee to serve the lich king, and then eventually broke free and rallied all the other dead people who were raised and their minds enslaved by the scourge, and she led the faction of freed undead people, which are one of the playable races) and was a very cool figurehead for a while but the misogynistic writing of Blizzard Entertainment kind of made her into a "crazy hysterical woman" who did really evil things for seemingly no reason that don't make sense based on her previous characterization. she was deliberately made to do a really evil act (elf genocide, basically) on like, a whim? which was really out of character for her as a cold, calculating, intelligent leader and made a LOT of seething gamers really mad. i think they said they used her specifically to make people debate about lore which is like, really shitty bc the story didn't make sense and it just gave a lot of misogynistic gamers an opportunity to hate on a female character. i saw a lot of hate for her (usually laced with misogyny, calling her a bitch and stuff) and a lot of people defending her but ultimately she was just written terribly and her character was absolutely ravaged. it kind of makes me sad but im not really surprised given blizzards track record. i think shes "good" again now? they finally concluded her story arc after i stopped playing the game, but the damage was already done, a lot of people just hate her now bc her shitty actions heavily impacted the story (and made for a shitty story) and she was also featured prominently and people just got tired of her.

Propaganda:

A Vid in support of "benevolent" Sylvanas : https://youtu.be/9ld4tCS8Gng A cool cinematic? : https://youtu.be/TVp7yLfnmrE A silly edit I made... (made a looooong time ago) : https://youtu.be/_5pEZH_pEtA Kakio is cool, I trust his words : https://youtu.be/svZt-opethU IDK, Sylvanas is cool; I had a crush on her in middle school, and I still do-...

i saw the promo post and this character INSTANTLY shot to mind even though i havent touched wow or any blizzard game in nearly two years also shes hot.

#look how they massacred them poll #look how they massacred my girl #wow #world of warcraft #sylvanas windrunner #wow sylvanas #world of warcraft sylvanas

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davekat-sucks · 16 days

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Round 3 for the worst ship poll seemed relatively normal to me, I think the one surprise is that as of now, Gamzee x Jane is beating put Vriska x Meenah, and I think it’s because of the epilogues.

I understand in canon the interaction between Jane and Gamzee was more superficial, he sold potions to her, threw corpses into her kerbelsprite and exploded it, and then fucked off to stalk the alpha kids from a distance.

In the epilogues, Jane marries Jake, meets Gamzee at Dirk’s funeral, her hatred of trolls gets her hooked into a caliginous relationship with Gamzee, lots of honking and milk involved behind closed doors.

I can at least think that GamJane cpuld work in a fanfiction that isn’t the epilogues, because they are at least within a reasonable age of each other. (However Gamzee is the first troll to make it to the alpha sessions because of shenanigans, so I think he’s still 13 while Jane is 16, weird)

In order for Meenah x Vriska to be normal, I would have to radically stretch canon so that the troll session lasts 6 years, or whatever the case where Vriska survives Sgrub, lives for 6 years at minimum, and then dies. In canon MeenVris is pedophilia, in canon GamJane wasn’t really a thing, but at least one of them wasn’t an adult. It has to be the epilogues that made GamJane even a ship people considered.

Or at least have even Gamzee be in a better state of mind or Jane being one to help him. Which would make the metaphor of his attraction to her like a drug (because of her name) turning out to be a healthy kind, breaking free from LE's influence and rekindling with his old friends like Karkat. It's sad though people had praised and loved MeenVris just for only pretty lesbians. Even if there was an age gap, the fact they are two beautiful girls trumps out pedophilia allegations. It says a lot about how much women get away with absolutely anything. Rape, abuse, pedophilia, murder, etc. Even those under trans-woman can get a pass. If not just pretty lesbians, they are the only two current relevant badass action girls in Homestuck. Kanaya does nothing but sit around with Rose. Terezi is only known for judgement, not action. Aradia doesn't want to involve herself in anything. Feferi is useless as Meenah replaced her. And people want to only make dead Nepeta jokes, not have her be an apex predator. And Dancestors speak for itself that only Aranea is relevant and everyone else besides her and Meenah are pointless as fuck.

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #GamJane #Gamzee Makara #Jane Crocker #GamzeeJane #GamzeexJane #MeenahVriska #Meenah x Vriska #Meenvris #VrisMeen #Vriska x Meenah #MeenahxVriska #VriskaMeenah #Meenah Peixes #Vriska Serket

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telaraneas · 2 years

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I don't remember if i've ever posted about this or if ive just rambled about it in pms but I think a lot abt aranea forcing jade's Just death. it informs a lot of what i think sylphs and the light aspect are about

so, what the hell happened here? how the hell did aranea manage to somehow convince whatever mechanism passes judgement on godtier deaths, if that mechanism is cosmic and inmutable and has presumably been in place for as long as sburb and its various systems have existed?

the short answer is that it isn't.

in universe, sure, the clock is objective and eternal and has always and will always rule over godtier deaths. but the reality is that this clock has only existed since, if i'm not mistaken, page 385, where we first see it in action; and while theoretically it must have judged every god-tier death under all sburb sessions across the multiverses, it has in fact only ever judged the deaths we have seen it judge onscreen.

and of those, none of them were definitely ruled Just until jade's. yes, vriska's was almost certainly going to count as such, but it was ultimately obscured enough to provide plausible deniability.

the point is- there is almost no precedent for how jade's death would be ruled.

i went back through some forums and internet discussions from around the time, and there was a lot of discussion before the verdict about whether jade would stay dead or not, and if she stayed down, what ruling would it be. there was a lot of argument from the position of "it will work out X way, because it MUST work out X way".

but ultimately, the audience had no way to tell. this is, theoretically, a mechanism that has existed all along and has always worked the same infallible way- but the truth is that in a story, nothing actually exists as fact until the author writes it into the work itself.

aranea's character, for most of her time in the story, was that of an almost literal exposition fairy. she exists as a mouthpiece through which a bunch of lore can be dumped into the story. and while in-universe obviously everything aranea says is stuff she previously learned herself one way or another, knowledge that did not come FROM her, on a narrative level aranea herself IS in fact the source of all of this information. it simply didn't exist until it was written into her dialogue box.

so what i find fascinating about this moment with aranea "forcing the clock" in her favor is that it is, essentially, her weaponizing her role as an exposition fairy. we DO NOT KNOW how the circumstances of jade's death, brainwashed into evil and squashed under a building to keep her out of the way, would be ruled by whatever in-universe system governs the pendulum of the clock.

but we do know that, to keep the plot moving and aranea's clusterfuck going, it sure would be lucky if the circumstances of jade's death happened to fall under the definition for Just!

and so, because the exposition fairy is here to bring light into a previous void of knowledge over the in-game mechanics, the rules are revealed- or more accurately written- to have worked out in her favor all along. aranea literally reached out into a layer of the reality of the story above her to introduce information into the work that would be advantageous in her position.

the universe of the story works whatever way the work says it does, and aranea is a character who exists as a mouthpiece of information about how the universe of the story works. a lot of her shenanigans in the Game Over timeline are just her weaponizing this.

#homestuck #sushi original #aranea serket #as long as im actually writing down shit ive long thought

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sweatertheman · 4 months

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okay. trolls.

the narrative concept of the trolls is simple on the surface. another group of players from a session they technically won but were denied godhood due to shenanigans. i think this concept is actually kind of bad. why? it makes things yet more complicated!

okay, ideas formulating.

what if the trolls' meteor ended up in the human universe, and they interact a little more directly with the humans beyond just sending chronologically confused stupid advice?

ugh, but there's 12 of them, and i only really "get" a couple of them.

Karkat is angry and constantly sarcastic and rude, but that's not because he isn't a good guy, that's just how he is.

Vriska, I won't get into, but she's got the most going for her.

Aradia, she's uh...

okay i barely get the trolls, alright?

i barely care about them. karkat is funny, terezi's funny and has a good scene or too, vriska is the most popular. i dont care about "2ollux" and his "2henaniigan2" or cat girl, or fish girl, or Eridan Ampora, or bow breaky robo man. most of these characters are just two sentences and a typing quirk to me! and gamzee? fuck that guy.

i only care about the trolls i do because they get like one or two good scenes each. Terezi talking with Aranea about killing Vriska, Karkat having moments of genuine self-reflection, uhhh... Vriska gets the most good scenes because there's a lot to read into there.

maybe I just cut the ones I don't like? that feels cheap. ugh and fuckint scratch is relevant AUGHHHHHHH

damn you hussie!

#homestuck #homestuck^-1

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cure-typhoon · 9 months

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How would you write Feferi to be more important? I'd probably have her interacting with the Harleyberts if only to bring back the weird connections they have cause of the Condesce

Hmm okey fuck this is a complicated one, i'm not the type to rewrite homestuck besides silly aus, with the Earth C Au being like, the biggest one in there and is not really a rewrite of The Epilogues/HS 2 and more of it's own separate thing

-Feferi's biggest contribution to the plot in Homestuck is the creation of the Dream Bubbles so I think like a good way to make her more important to the plot is making her necessary in the whole Lord English/Calliope/Treasure Hunt thing? Like who is going to know better in how to look for something in the Dream Bubbles than Feferi who created them? Like have her as a Guide, someone who you ask when you get lost or have questions and stuff

-Another one could be Feferi visiting Jade's dreams in her 3 year journey. I know that for some reason June and Jade couldnt really visit the dreambubbles a lot while in the ship? Was it ever explained why? Anyway I think you could make Jade have rare dreams where she meets Feferi, like maybe is the only bubble that is close by for her to have dreams in but Feferi is the only ghost there for reasons. Or maybe she is not the only ghost there but is the only one who Jade knows. You could make it for Jade to have this rare but important convos with her, maybe they have a tumoltuos relationship with her as they don't really get along at times but theyre the only other person there who you know so you push for a friendship that starts not the Best but becomes something comforting in this three year alone journey.

That is a way to give her more relevance even if she is dead, if you want to bring her back or make her stay alive entirely you could do:

-Eridan didnt kill her, she either survived the blast, avoided it or she was healed by her God Tier Ghost version, it doesnt really matter. Feferi survived but everyone else didnt and Gamzee hide the corpses/Vriska wants to wait to prototype them or smt. So now Feferi is part of the meteor crew, yay, that also means Sollux probably dump her right there, not yay

So what could Feferi in the three Journey? She could be learning how to use her powers as a Witch of Life without being God Tier so she can help in the upcoming battle, she could evolve a deeper friendship with Karkat as he was the other closest person to Eridan (yes Feferi/Karkat friendship, it's my blog I can do whatever I want/jk), she could help the crew how to navigate the bubbles better. She could join to fight the Condesce or maybe go fight the Jacks if she doesnt want to fight her. Help Jane and Jake with their fight tho

-This option is if she dies but is brought back to life later. We don't really find out a lot about the shenanigans of the Alpha Kids and their dreams, all of them lost their dream self so they had to be in the Dream Bubbles when they slept. Sooo you could make Jane befriend Feferi there! Or Roxy as they got along as Fefetasprite I feel they could befriend even if she is not fefeta anymore.

In her friendship there they could talk about Alternia and the Condesce, failed romance, etc. Maybe because of this friendship, Jane wants to revive her even though Feferi says it would probably be imposible to do without her body. Anyway the whole shenanigans happens and they revive her in the lilypad! Maybe with the rest of the trolls tho, it honestly depends on how you want to write it.

Ando thats all the ways I could come up to make Feferi more relevant jeje

#homestuck #feferi peixes #jane crocker #jade harley #karkat vantas #eridan ampora

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samstarium · 4 months

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What are your classpect headcanons for the omega kids?

ooh ooh ok! so im goin off the theory that the omega kids will "fill in" all the classes and aspects we only have 2 canon players for atm (aka no other humans have them yet)

i talked abt this a bit in a server so im gonna copy over my ideas!! autistic ramblings below

the one that interests me the most atm is vrissy bc theres the assumption she'll b a standard serket and this a light player, but it would b cool to kill the theory that all descendants need have the same aspect. personally i would love for her to stay a thief but b mindbound instead. for a couple reasons

one hs^2 (or hsbc, or whatever) and especially the candy route is abt how the world and thr characters in it have deviated from The Canon and havin vrissy keep her ancestoral title but on the class side instead is like a fun way to show that. its like oh this is not how its supposed to work is it. two i think tyin her to terezi in a way is kinda interesting. bc there's some parallels that could b made (vriska searchin for a scourge sister replacement, vrissy's relationship w/ harry anderson as a mirror for terezi and john?) but it would have to b explored a bit more since she still hasn't been in the canon for very long

as for the others i rlly want tavvy to b rage… i have him as a sylph but im not married to that. i would rlly love to have a male sylph tho! i think his sensibilities could work nicely, and we already have some (if brief) content of him interactin w/ kanaya (https://homestuck2.com/story/336) so there's potential to strengthen their connections and parallels.

for rage like ofc the purple and gamzee shit and everything puts that in my mind automatically but also. as a contrast to his hope parent and his maid parent. bein a sylph of rage just creates such delicious symmetry. hard to see a sylph-y personality just yet but it's a possibility imo, n rage i think can b interpreted from the gamzee corpse shenanigans

harry anderson im unsure of but w/ what we have i suppose bard of doom could work ok. it would b nice to have a bard who wasnt um. Well. yknow. and show some other parts of the class that weren't represented in the 2 canon bards. there's the obvious connection and punnery involving his affinity for musical theater, and his laissez faire approach to life could serve bard functions.

doom… eh. yea idk abt that but i'll take a stab at it. on a thematic level if sollux's doom craft motif is coding, havin his be stitching is kind of cool. like the connection to binary code in thread (https://www.tumblr.com/swords-n-spindles/625244898586755072/the-fibre-stuff-moiraecrochet-synebluetoo) idk. but on a more conceptual level his upbringing could give him some connections to doom, living with roxy who for the longest time was entrenched in the jane propaganda machine (harry as anti-life?).

w/ yiffy left she takes mage of blood. mage kinda iffy since the canon mages r pretty different and only one gives us much to work w/. one thing i will say on mages tho is that both of them r missin a certain sense: sollux sees no evil, meulin hears no evil, and yiffy? well i'd say she doesn't rlly "talk", at least not yet in the traditional sense, so we can complete the proverb and have her as the third mage who speaks no evil

but blood is a lot clearer. blood, bonds, connections, relationships? thats like the whole conflict of her character. i think phrasin it as yiffy "knowing" blood is kind of fun. bc she probably does have a very keen understanding of the complex relationships between the ppl around her (jane and jake and gamzee im sure she knew much of). also the literal connection of blood to her fangs, and cementing the parallels of her and karkles as blood brothers (lol)

#ask #anonymous #sorry this took a bit to answer!!#homestuck #hs^2 #hsbc #classpect

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davejade-daily · 4 months

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sburban coffee 5!

---

JADE: happy holidays!

She calls this out as a customer leaves the cafe, peppermint mocha in hand. She fixes her shiny party hat, desperately trying to get it to sit somewhat straight. Unfortunately, it is a losing battle. Behind her, from the counter, John laughs and knocks it crooked again. In retaliation, she hits him with the counter rag.

JOHN: ew jade it’s wet!!!!!

JADE: shouldve thought about that before you committed hat crimes

JADE: if you arent doing anything helpful start stuffing invitations for me

She pushes a small bin full of paper and miscellaneous items over to him, which he starts digging through with a melodramatic sigh. She chooses to ignore it.

JOHN: who are we inviting?

JADE: uhhhhhh

JADE: karkat of course!

JADE: he hates over-the-top stuff and i want to watch him squirm

JADE: dave and rose

JADE: kanaya if shes not busy

JOHN: probably vriska too. she will 100% come after me if i don’t.

JOHN: i guarantee that i’ll get a text that says “John, why am I not inv8ted to your party???????? I thought we were friends.”

JOHN: and then she’ll show up anyway!

JOHN: because it’s vriska.

JADE: well see

JADE: roxy dirk jake. jane too!

JADE: itll be fun john!!!

JOHN: jade, the last time we had a party karkat set something on fire.

JADE: hush we dont talk about that

John holds up an invitation for her to inspect. Jade takes it and pretends to inspect the packaging, giving little hmmms every now and then. John feigns apprehension, watching her closely.

JADE: looks good!!!

JADE: just write their names on the outside and lick it shut

He makes a face, but proceeds, making an overdramatic noise of disgust as he licks the envelope.

JOHN: who’s this one for?

JADE: dave

JADE: i want to do karkats

JADE: i have something special planned for his :D

JOHN: whatever shenanigans you’ve got in store for him, i approve.

JOHN: as long as i don’t get caught in the crossfire.

JADE: yeah yeah sure

She waves away his comment, knowing she probably won’t make good on that promise. She’s learned to never pass up a chance to prank John. You never know when you’ll get another opportunity.

The door chimes. Jake and Roxy amble in, along with a big burst of cold air.

JAKE: Hey guys!

ROXY: whats up

JAKE: I am so chuffed about that new years party!

JOHN: uh yeah, me too. totally chuffed!

JOHN: whatever that means?

JAKE: You know, chuffed!

John rolls his eyes. Jake and Roxy take a seat at a table, turning their chairs to face the counter with a quiet thump. Jade continues wiping down the counters.

JADE: alright so

JADE: i need you boys to help me get the apartment ready

JADE: roxy, if you want to help thatd be appreciated but not expected of you!

JAKE: Yes ma’am.

ROXY: u got it!!

John makes a face at her at the prospect of having to go on a cleaning and organizing spree. Jade ignores it.

JADE: jake, can you help me clean?

JAKE: Aye aye, captain.

JADE: john you can start setting up the decorations

JOHN: yay!

JADE: dont get too excited, theres a lot

JOHN: oh. :(

ROXY: dw ill help you john

JOHN: thank you roxy! i knew someone around here appreciated me. nudge nudge, jade.

Jade rolls her eyes and puts the cleaning supplies away. She begins locking up as the other three go to stand by the door. They exit the cafe, met by the sharp December chill. Immediately, wind stings Jade’s face, and she hurriedly sticks her hands in her pockets.

After about ten minutes of walking in near silence, they’re in the lobby of their apartment building. John gets the honor of pressing the button to call the elevator down, and it is a rather quiet thirty seconds as it makes its way to the ground floor. It’s not usually this quiet for them, but Jade supposes that everyone’s got something or other on their minds. The elevator dings, they step in and John once again presses the button for the fourth floor. When they were younger they used to fight about it, but now Jade just lets him do it. It’s for enrichment purposes, she figures.

ROXY: so guys how many people are you inviting

JADE: uhhh

JADE: karkat dave rose…

JADE: plus whoever else they want to bring

JOHN: vriska :/

JADE: so about 6 other people!

JAKE: Quite the shebang, then.

JADE: hopefully, yeah! i think its going to be really fun :D

JAKE: Well, if we want to finish doing everything by tomorrow night, wed better get cracking. Onwards!

The elevator dings and releases them onto the fourth floor. Jake has such enthusiasm in his step that he could almost be skipping if he really tried. If Jade had known that all it took was the prospect of a “shebang” to get him this psyched about cleaning, she would’ve been using it to her advantage long ago. Jade pulls out her keys with a jingle and searches through them for a moment, singling out the one for the apartment and slotting it into the lock with a click and a twist. Pushing the door open, she lets the others in and kicks her shoes off after them. John has led the others into the kitchen, where they’re all standing rather awkwardly.

JADE: lemme grab the decorations

Jake gives her a mock salute as she passes, and she ducks into the closet in the hall, grabbing the box of decorations she’s been slowly building up over time. It’s an awkward, hefty box, and she lets out an oomph as she picks it up and carries it into the kitchen, setting it down with a heavy thud on the counter. John makes a face and beckons Roxy over. They each pick up one end and lug it out of the kitchen.

JADE: cmon jake lets get cleaning

JAKE: Ready whenever you are!

#sburban coffee #au tag #davejade #davejade fic #mod harley #mod strider

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