Me watching this arc of The Third Marriage:
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'Third marriage' Oh Seung-a, chaebol third generation. "There is a billionaire Grandma's Boy"
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Cursed fic idea that I need to share (because I'll never write it and I need you all to suffer with me): Gortash and Dark Urge arranged marriage.
Where Bhaal is very proud of his daughters' murdering prowess but would still like some grandchildren (bhaalspawn are not easy to make), and Bane is happy to offer his Chosen in exchange for being able to direct where Bhaal's cultists will strike next (and have them help further his plans, rather than ruin them)
Of course, both Durge and Gortash are less than pleased at the plan. Durge, because she's a strong independent woman who wants to keep slaughtering people and leading her father's temple, not playing house with a bloody banite, and certainly not having him tell her who she can, or cannot, kill. Gortash because the marriage is just another thing he has no control over and is instead forced upon him (he can see the value of the alliance but chaffes at being used as a bargaining chip yet again)
Featuring:
- Enemies to allies to lovers (to enemies again if we follow the game timeline)
- Instead of super kinky sex, they start their relationship with super boring, detached, and perfunctory sex because they both assume the other doesn't know how to fuck and want the whole deal over with
- Bridezilla Gortash
- Sceleritas Fel & Orin ducking it out for the Maid of Honor spot
- They start to care for each other, but are afraid to show it because their whole alliance is mandated by their Gods (plus they both have the emotional maturity of a rock), so the sex goes from boring, to nasty, to kinky with feelings
- like, they are allowed to look and touch, but they cannot feel, so they show affection in small ways, a soft touch here, a shared look there, some joint slaughter over there...
- Them being evil and domestic, like the true villain power couple they are
- Ketheric hates them and their married antics *so much*
- Durge being introduced to the Gate's patriars as Lord Gortash's wife and having to behave in public. There's a fancy ball at some point, with dancing, UST, sex and murder
(if the game plot happens, Gortash greets Durge as "my beloved wife", the whole party starts to seriously question their choice in leadership, and Karlach has an aneurysm. Astarion just loves the drama)
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Okay Da Jung has found out! Let the drama begin🫠
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