Why did they listen to death metal in the Old Testament, but not the New Testament?

...

Because after the resurrection, death really lost its sting.

I was today years old when I discovered that, apparently, Shounen Jump doesn't allow women to be editors/helpers 🙃 now it may be false information, but that would help explain why WS is the way it is now... To this day I am baffled that Hetalia is considered shounen/seinen... I understand that unfortunately shoujo/josei isn't as popular, but I very seldom see men, even jp men (which are apparently the supposed main audience) be fans of Hetalia or supporting its merch. Most of the money Hetalia gets seems to come from jp women. Hell, it doesn't even seem to be a Bungou Stray Dogs case where they make the series appealing for both genders. With it's lack of shounen-esque battles, latent homoerotic content (especially in the ye old days), fanservice which even to this day is 90% of the time focused on the male characters... I have to wonder, what does this series have going on for a male cishet audience? The very ocasional boob joke? The (now practically nonexistent) historical content? I'm confused...

Sorry for the rant, I hope it isn't too much 😅

[Sorry this post became pretty long because I can't shut the hell up!]

I looked a bit into it and, unfortunately, it seems to be true. Apparently they use "you need to understand what's in a young boy's heart" as an excuse to sort of gatekeep women from having a career as an editor with them.

I have read a couple articles about this, and the way Shueisha seems to dismiss the issue is pretty disturbing. The later deleted tweets from the (female) author of Rocking You!!! really speaks volume of the situation beyond any corporate clarification Shueisha released on the matter:

[Source] [Source]

Sadly, the manga&anime mainstream/dominant scene is still pretty sexist and it's no wonder that many female and/or queer artists prefer to engage in more niche, somewhat still frowned upon genres like BL or Josei, at least they probably have more freedom there when it comes to sharing stories since they don't need to appeal to what a narrow-minded, sexist and conservative mindset still deems as manga's main demography - cishet male teens and young men ... Which is, well, the reason why most shows are required to have cute lil' objectified girlies as fanservice (I'm not against fanservice per se but you know what I mean, it's how unbalanced it is between genders in "romance/sexual-neutral" stories - like Shounen are supposed to be! - what makes it overwhelming and insulting) even if they don't even need it as a crutch for engagement.

Personally, I believe Hetalia's og target as a Seinen wasn't wrong. I think that Himaruya being a man did have an impact in how Hetalia came to be and how its comedy and characters, and even art style developed. It wouldn't feel right to me to call it a Shoujo or a Josei. The problem with this traditional classification is that what's a Shoujo/Josei wasn't quite established as "what girls want to see", but rather "what boys typically aren't interested in." And obviously, this soon led to the over-simplified and kinda sexist idea that Shounen=Action-packed battles; Shoujo=Romance. Many Shounen and Seinen have quite a large female presence in their fandoms despite being traditionally seen as the "boys/men's manga", whereas it is less likely for a boy or a man to be very into a Shoujo, and even less into a Josei (or, rather, it is less likely for a male to share this interest because of good ol' toxic masculinity).

In any case, while searching some stuff to form my own opinion and answer, i came across this page where they said "if a series does not fit into any other category such as Shonen or Shojo, then it will be put under Seinen", and honestly I think it makes the most sense for Hetalia.

For how I see it, the "problem" with targetizing Hetalia is that Himaruya never thought about it becoming popular when he started it. His mindset was "let's post this random silly one-time thing I came up with after engaging in a thread on 2Chan while passing time as a student in New York". There wasn't any intended 'commercial use', there was no business planning beforehand. It'd be like trying to put a target on, I dunno, some everyday life meme-y comics you find daily on social media. They have no inherent target, though they might end up resonating with one group of people more than others. But you cannot know until the thing actually starts resonating with an audience.

The 2Chan threads in question, according to the informations I gathered, actually dealt with topics that tend to resonate with a male audience more: a debate about military weapons and strategies used in WW2 that culminated with talking about Italy's military failures of the time; and how Japan will literally make moe girlies as personifications for anything. Himaruya just had this idea, definitely influenced by his time spent in a multiethnic background while he was in the US, to fundamentally make a comic inspired by those moe female personifications but have them be moe guys instead.

It would've been very hard for Himaruya to foresee the attention his work would've gotten, let alone the kind of audience that would actually be interested in it. Sure, Himaruya apparently called himself a Fudanshi once (I have no source for this though so take it with a grain of salt!) and it's not hard to believe, but Hetalia is very atypical even for a BL-leaning series.

Let's not forget that the first one-shot Hetalia strip was posted on Hima's blog in 2006. And, let's say, things back then were quite different. Yaoi/BL wasn't nearly as popular as it became later, and mainstream media didn't really discover the power of fanservice aimed at a female audience yet (that would come much, much later and kind of peaked with Free!, which I believe really made a difference in how anime business would perceive the true power of this kind of fanservice from then on). In 2006, not even Junjou Romantica had gotten an anime yet, and as much as I honestly dislike JR, it played a big role in making BL more popular because prior to that BLs could barely aspire to get anything more than a couple OVAs. The few that did get a proper anime season (like Gravitation, Loveless and Sukisho) still didn't get as much of a hype to make the "male-dominated mainstream community" notice their existence like JR somehow did.

I'm not even sure the kind of "fanservice" Hetalia made/makes use of was a thing in 2006. Like, you know, all those anime we have now that have tons of homoerotic subtext, a predominantly or exclusively male cast, are targeted at least partially at a female audience but never actually dip into romance or make anything really canon? I'm no expert, but I don't think they were a thing back then, and if they did they were quite niche. Perhaps Hetalia also changed the male perception of female audience in manga/anime spaces. Hetalia fans back then were quite ostracized and shamed merely for being girls enjoying a show with a kind of content that most cishet males - used to their shows with everything geared towards them (and girls confined to the "Romance Shoujo enclosure") - couldn't quite comprehend. I've seen so many male anime fans, back in the day, making fun of us simply for being girls and enjoying a comedy that features hot guys with all the homoerotic subtext they wouldn't bat an eye at if it was between female characters.

However it is worth noting that, while most Hetalia fans are girls or women, it has a minority of male fans as well. One of the two friends that actually introduced me to Hetalia was a boy, and I was introduced to it together with three other friends, one of which was a boy too - we all loved it at first sight! An Italian Youtuber I occasionally follow revealed that his very first manga was Hetalia and although he only picked it up to get closer to the girl he liked, I guess he didn't hate it enough to just drop it and "unlike" that girl lol I saw reactions of a few other guys to Hetalia episodes and none of them hated it, they even laughed at some jokes! I believe that many men are simply prejudiced against Hetalia because of internalized sexism or toxic masculinity, especially if they're aware of the fandom's main activity being shipping (lol).

I don't think Himaruya made any of his """fanservice""" with an actual fanservice-y intent, he simply, genuinely drew what he, before anyone else, enjoyed drawing. Unlike a lot of fanservice out there, Hetalia's never feels forced, it is very genuine.

[Conclusion; if you wanna skip what's above lol]

I don't think it's fair to say that Hetalia willingly attempts to appeal to women. I feel like Hetalia, at least pre-HWS Hetalia, appealed to Himaruya before and foremost. It just so happened that Himaruya's taste aligned more with a female audience, despite being actually funny in a gender-neutral way that way too many cishet guys dismiss because of (I guess?) fragile masculinity and fandom prejudice.

So, keeping that into account, I really do not think it'd be fair to call Hetalia a Shoujo or a Josei. And it isn't fair to call it a Shounen either, because we see how Hetalia's essence and humor was undoubtedly butchered by Shounen Jump+'s editing and rules, that simply do not align with either Hetalia's spirit nor its main audience's expectations.

As a Seinen, Hetalia had freedom to be whatever it wanted because Seinen tends to have more loose rules for what is or isn't allowed in one. Because its target of "adult men" is basically, de facto, a neutral catch-all label. Josei tends to be too involved in classic Shoujo dynamics and themes, albeit in a more mature sauce, and while there are exceptions I feel, in all the (few) Josei I crossed path with, there is a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes it undoubtedly more inherently feminine than Hetalia is.

It's funny because this whole debate over Hetalia's target kind of reminds me of how the very first BL, Kaze To Ki No Uta, is classified as a Shoujo because back then Yaoi didn't exist as an official genre. When you make something revolutionary that defies pre-existing rules and boxes, it's hard to slap a specific label on it that feels right.

break up with your girlfriend (i’m bored)

There is a game that Klavier Gavin sometimes likes to play.

‘Likes’, however, may not be the appropriate term.

It isn’t a nice game, or one that makes him feel like a particularly good and decent person. And yet, when he wins—which he almost certainly does, on all but two notable occasions—the rush of chemicals that his victory incites within his clearly damaged mind will cover up all but the most persistent cries of outrage from what remains of his decaying moral compass.

It is a private challenge, it is a weakness he has long since conceded to… it is played like this:

There are plenty of people in the world who would love Klavier Gavin simply for what he represents. Conversely, there are people who will despise him for those very same reasons.

When the small voice in the back of his mind begins to speak too loudly—the one that sounds so very familiar, calm and leveled while it interrogates his every action—when he, in turn, begins to doubt himself, Klavier will search out the nearest member of the latter group. The more this individual seemingly dislikes him, the better the effect. And, having identified someone who must dislike Klavier more than he dislikes himself, he will do whatever is necessary to change that person’s opinion.

Sometimes it is as simple as attention and kindness, gifts and persistence; sometimes it is through a display of vulnerability or chagrin that is only somewhat manufactured for the moment. Though Klavier’s motivation for doing so is horrifically selfish, the goal is to be perfectly genuine in his search for their affection. It needs to be; only once his target has offered up their adoration can he tolerate himself once more. If it is a false version of Klavier that they are idolizing, it only strengthens the voice’s position inside his own mind.

The point of this game is emotional intimacy, not physical. Klavier has never been in the game of intentionally breaking hearts. One of the cardinal rules that he has set for himself, then, is that his appointed convert must be maintained as a friend, not a lover. In actuality, the majority of the rules pertain to limits and boundaries—monetary, time, distance, and attitude—or to create clear definitions of what constitutes a win or a loss of the game. It is important, Klavier feels, to keep things consistent among matches and, therefore, fair.

But, although Klavier has flourished in this diversion since his now distant childhood, he had also never encountered a contender quite like Apollo Justice before.

It wasn’t that Apollo was particularly difficult to read or to predict what it might take in order to shift his perception—on the contrary, Klavier had known exactly what needed to be done to achieve his goal almost immediately upon meeting the man. Whether or not Klavier is capable of it, however, is where the debate hinges.

There are rules that will need to be broken, for one thing, along with a set of small, concealed truths that must be unearthed—things that Klavier had long since been in the habit of burying below several layers of his own psyche. As of this moment, there are only two that Klavier has managed to excavate and examine with any sense of composure.

The first, that Apollo has beaten him so thoroughly in Klavier’s own game that their exchanges have ceased to be a game at all. Instead, they have taken on the frantic and impetuous nature of an entirely different emotion. Klavier’s desire to win Apollo’s affection had ceased to be a simple desire; it now felt like a need, pulsing bright and warm from somewhere so deeply within him that he had long since stopped believing it was possible to feel this way at all.

The second truth—both far more recently understood and infinitely more frightening—is that the aforementioned need may, in fact, be love.

It is not as pleasant an emotion as he had once anticipated, more like gnawing hunger that rumbled when Apollo was absent and roared with an open maw when he was nearby. It made Klavier indecisive and introspective in an entirely different way than the voice in his head, made him overthink every word he spoke and every thing he did when Apollo was nearby. It made him impulsive and greedy, wont to push his luck at every opportunity he could possibly take.

And, as luck would have it, this emotion was ruining any chance he could have with Apollo in the process.

“I am performing at a local studio tomorrow,” Klavier is attempting to begin one afternoon, in the immediate aftermath of a trial he has just lost. Though he’d meant the words to sound suave and unintentionally cool, the force of Apollo’s indifferent gaze strangles the words into an awkwardly insistent rush. “Would you like to come, as my guest? You may bring Fräulein Wright as well.”

Before him, Apollo’s dark eyes narrow, his hands still in the process of packing up the strewn remainder of his courtroom notes. “What kind of performance?”

“It is for a streaming service, ja?” Klavier replies, grinning through the nerve induced flips his stomach has been performing since the moment he opened his mouth. “They invite artists to come for an interview and to cover a song of the audience’s choice. There is usually free food and drinks.”

“So no Gavinner’s music?” Apollo looks skeptical.

“Nein, I promise.”

Another moment of cautious consideration is given before Apollo eventually, reluctantly, nods. “Trucy’ll kill me if she finds out I said no. Text me the address and time.”

Of course, it isn’t until hours after the requested message had been sent that Klavier thinks to check the status of the polls online that will decide the theme of his performance. One glance is all it takes to know that his invitation could be nothing but an absolutely terrible idea.

The damage, however, had been done.

As such, Klavier wakes the next morning with his emotions an odd amalgam of dread and anticipation that carries through the remainder of his day. By his arrival at the indicated studio—far earlier than the time he had provided to Apollo due to the ever-necessary addition of hair and makeup—Klavier is certain he has thought of nothing else the entire day other than Apollo’s arrival.

“Trucy couldn’t come,” Apollo says later, looking exceedingly uncomfortable in clothes other than his courtroom ensemble. It is the first time since the Guilty as Charged concert that Klavier has seen him in anything so casual; he had forgotten that, in the absence of hair gel and when wearing something that is not a shocking scarlet in hue, Apollo looks good. Good enough that Klavier is far from the only one casting surreptitious looks as they walk together from the lobby to the studio.

Those small glances are enough to send his imagination into a tailspin that, consequently, causes his response to be just moments too late to sound entirely casual. “But you still came.”

“I already said I would,” Apollo replies, ignoring the delay with a dismissive shrug. “It would’ve been rude to bail at the last second. Anyway, Trucy made me promise I’d record your song. When is it, by the way?”

“Twenty minutes—I won’t keep you for too long, ja?”

The problem is, during a performance, Klavier is practically incapable of any sort of critical thought at all. Years of practice have led to a near Pavlovian response to the appearance of a camera in his face; at just the glint of a lense reflection, any doubts or worries he had previously been wrestling with will be delicately tucked away to make room for the public persona Klavier presents to the world.

The same thing happens, here. Within moments of the interview starting, Klavier forgets about his apprehension in having Apollo present for this performance. By the time he eventually starts to sing, he’s forgotten about Apollo sitting just beyond the camera in a plastic folding chair all together.

The song picked for him to sing is almost certainly a joke, intentionally selected due to his recent and rather outspoken declaration of bisexuality. But Klavier has never been one to back down from a challenge or to let anyone know they’ve gotten under his skin. His take on Ariana Grande’s morally bankrupt classic is stripped down and irrevocably smoky, just the sound of Klavier’s voice and an electric guitar with absolutely zero changes to the lyrics, as was expected.

Klavier is not singing to Apollo, precisely—as far as he is aware, Apollo does not have a girlfriend from which to break up with—but a song will always sound better with some sort of emotion attached to it. Klavier has long been in the habit of searching any lyrics that are not his own for a handhold that he can grab on to relate to; here, the idea of wanting someone unavailable, no matter the cause, is an easy enough choice.

And things go seamlessly for the majority of the song. It isn't until nearly two minutes in, just as Klavier is finishing the bridge, that his gaze slips past the camera he has just recently glanced up into, and finds Apollo’s eyes wide and locked upon his. Perhaps it is not entirely professional, to maintain uninterrupted eye contact with the opposing counsel as the lyrics “you can hit it in the morning like it’s yours” are murmured seductively into the microphone bent towards one’s face. The suspicion is confirmed when, thirty seconds later, the song’s end is met by an uproar of applause from everyone except Apollo, who stands and leaves the room altogether.

“Stop messing with me,” Apollo shouts in the parking lot when Klavier has finally caught up with him. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, I don’t know what sort of advantage you think you’re playing at, but stop.”

HASO “The Verdict.”

Put a lot of work into this, and now its approaching a close. I hope you all enjoy.

Again thank discord member Eddi for writing the experimental logs and coming up with the scientists names. I hope you especially enjoy what I have done with your work. I really appreciate it, and was super excited to collaborate on a work.

WARNING: Not really any violence in this one, but it does mention drugs, and suicide, so viewer discretion is advised. 

“Are you alright?”

Adam barely heard the question eyes wide and watching as the lights glowed down from overhead inside the sterile, white marbled courtroom.

“Adam?’

He blinked and looked up, turning his head to stare at Admiral Kelly who sat at his side, a hand resting on his shoulder, “Did you hear me?”

“Sorry,, I’m fine.’

She went quiet, eyes narrowed in concern clearly not entirely believing him when he said he was alright, but having no proof otherwise. He had to take a moment to think about it himself, and determined that….. He did feel fine. In fact, he felt better than he had earlier. His palms were no longer sweating and his breathing was coming in a normal, even rhythm. 

He was alright, he was going to be ok.

“The prosecution calls Dr. Wilkenson to the stand.”

Adam lifted his head in surprise, eyes narrowing as the slim man took to his feet, nervously adjusting his tie and his glasses in turn before making his way to the witness stand. This was one of the men who had helped to design the steel eye project.

“Dr Wilkenson, do you mind reading for us, the words that you wrote regarding the Steel Eye project.”

The man was handed a piece of paper, and he nodded it, taking it into his hands before clearing his throat. 

Experimental log #1

I am shocked at the extent to which my ‘colleagues’ are willing to go for greater heights of recognition and achieving their goals. I am attempting to either reduce the pain subjects feel or in some way reduce the reliance on addictive painkillers. I fear however this will all avail naught. The pain induced by the interface itself means that one would have to redesign the entire system. To keep my superiors happy I will also be conducting movement tests. 

-Recording break-

The tests went as well as expected, The soldiers who have volunteered are unresponsive and lethargic when they are wearing the full suit, this is likely to the immense amount of suppressive painkillers they are on. A mixture of fentanyl and Carfentanil, A mixture I would expect to find in painkillers for a horse or even small elephant. I am advising the introduction of a stimulant. However I am also voicing concerns over such a thing as the level of stimulants needed would be far higher than is safe. 

“You seem to have had some doubts about the Steel eye project, Doctor.”

The man nodded, fidgeting with his glasses again, “I did…. Due to ethical concerns. I felt that the testnng was moving to quickly, and I also felt that the introduction of such potent medications would also be an ethical violation. As I worded in my original log, I felt that the dosages required to keep someone functional while wearing the Steel eye suit were well beyond reasonable.”

The lawyer shifted slightly on their feet, “Tell me doctor, why -- after you quite-- did you not bring these ethical violations forward to the proper authorities?”

The doctor shifted nervously, “I would have liked to, counselor, but -- before entering the project-- i signed a top secret nondisclosure agreement that stated: were I to introduct this information to any outside source, that I would be jailed for the rest of my life….” he looked down at his feet, “Obviously, now I regret deeply not having the courage to come forward and say something sooner. 

Audio visual log transcript.

The researcher, confirmed to be Dr.Wilkinson approaches the test subject, attempting to wake them in various gentle manners before finally slapping them with an open palm. Once awoken and adjustments to the drug intake are made by Dr. Wilkinson which resulted in protests from the subject. The subject is encouraged to run laps on a large track which is timed by Dr. Wilkinson. After Which the doctor assists the subject out of the suit and hands him over to a medical worker who seems to have been held on standby. 

The lawyer cleared her throat, reading.

Observers note: 

It is to be mentioned to the Commission that Dr Wilkinson was sworn to secrecy and required to sign the statute of secrets until such a time the information was brought to light in any manner other than his own actions. Additionally Dr Wilkinson took part in the development of the Iron Eye project and was a vocal proponent of non-human test subjects and ensuring the users were as safe and stable as possible. 

“We are not on trial here today for the actions of Dr. Wilkenson who has agreed to testify for the prosecution in exchange for immunity against legal action. We are, however, here to discuss the actions of those scientists who continued on with the steel eye project long after it became clear that there were ethical concerns, and that those ethical concerns were being routinely and blatantly violated.”

The prosecution shifted again, hands gripping the lectern, “The prosecution would like to present experimental log 3 for evidence.” 

Experimental log #3

After reviewing James’s experimental logs and the currently used painkillers and suppressants the current stimulants suggested caffeine and amphetamine. It has been decided that the stimulants lack a level of strength to provide combat effective units. Thus the upcoming experiment will be focused on achieving the right cocktail of drugs to provide optimum combat functionality. The tested stimulants will be mixtures I have personally developed and calculated. As well as commercially available and recommended mixtures that James developed.

-Recording break- 

As expected the mixtures that James developed did not aid in any manner and testing with those ceased after the first failure. The recommended mixtures are only marginally better. I have discovered however, to no shock, that my own mixtures are highly functional. Proceeding forwards, We will be making use of mixture 22c. 

Audiovisual log transcript:

Several volunteers stood in a line in prototype Steel-eye suits, each seeming to be asleep. The researcher stops by each of them to place a second vial of chemicals in the drug port. The first subject seems not to react beyond several flickerings of the eyes and a pained moan. In response to this the researcher dumps several un-tested vials in to a large plastic bucket with ‘Failed’ on it in sharpie. The next few subjects react somewhat more, becoming semi verbal and looking round, however they are still lethargic an slow. Only responding in half words or gestures. The researcher dumps several more untested vials in to the ‘Failed’ bucket. The final few volunteers however become far more alert and aggressive, moving round, pushing each other and joking. The researcher struggles to persuade them out of the suits and is eventually forced to deactivate the suits by removing the power supply cables. 

Observers note:

Mixture 22c appears to be a mixture of methamphetamines and cocaine. There also appears to be an addition of Dimethyl sulfoxide which increases the absorption rate of the drugs but also removes the requirement for precision with the needle insertion allowing for a larger needle to be used to increase drug delivery dosage. 

The court room was silent, silent as the lawyer turned to look at the assembled audience and then back at the judges, “Methamphetamine…. And cocaine, two drugs known to be ‘highly’ addictive and grossly unethical. Drug experimentation on humans is strictly controlled by the EDA and that is ONLY involving the clinical use of newly discovered drugs. At this point it should be more than clear that the use of illicit drugs on unknowing test subjects in a developmental environment goes beyond gross negligence and into malicious tampering. Dr. Ayishat Abara has demonstrated great contempt for Dr. Wilkinsons moderate methods and gone on to produce a cocktail of drugs that is rarely found outside of crackhouses and meth labs. 

With a solemn expression, the lawyer turned to look at the rest of the crowd, “This is not even considering the long term effects and the psychological damage caused to the victims of Steel eye…. Which led many men and women to take their own lives. Experimental log 18 being the prosecution's next piece of evidence.” 

Experiment log #18

After extensive physical testing and further refining of the stimulant delivery system and mixtures of the stimulant and painkillers I have decided that it is suitable to move on to combat testing. The upcoming test will be a simple firearms test, I have requisitioned a modified 30mm rapid fire weapon that I feel will be suitable for use with the Steel Eye suit. This will be a live fire test. I have no intent on taking baby steps when such a project is due to draw such renown. 

-Recording break-

The subject was more than capable of using the weapon. Though seemed to lack the force of will to maintain its use for long. To combat this I will be including small amounts of ritalin as well as increasing the stimulant dosage. This should counteract the negative reactions exhibited by the test subject.

Audiovisual log transcript:

The subject is active and moving around the test area. Different to all the prior times, however the subject also seems to be on edge or hyper aware of something. The researcher wheels in a large caliber short barreled  automatic cannon Attaching it to the Steel eye suits arm and instructing the soldier on how to use it. After a few moments of instruction the subject seems comfortable and begins firing down rage at several targets, Displaying uncanny reaction speed and almost superhuman reflexes. This continued for several minutes, The subject however seems to grow more and more despondent and unresponsive as the tests go on. The researcher leaves the area for a short while seemingly to get more stimulants or ammunition. During the break the soldier places the short barreled against their own temple and discharges the weapon. This subject is registered as the test subject for the past 11 experiments. 

The entire room flinched and gasped. Adam felt his stomach churn again, but less to do with fear this time and more to do with pure disgust and horror. He looked away again as the recording shut off and the lawyer stood before the room for a long moment allowing the footage to sink into the minds of those in the courtroom, “This test subject, this man, Dakota McCallister was on his 11th time as a test subject when this footage was taken. After reviewing all of the testing logs with Dr. Gladstone, we have found no evidence that the subjects were monitored for mental health concerns. Additionally none of them were even screened before testing began. None of the men and women involved in the Steel eye project were ever referred for mental health testing before, during or after the experimentation was complete.”

Experimental log #23

I have discovered the most efficient way to motivate the subjects is to offer further testing time within the suit and increased dosages of the drugs used to suppress the side effects of wearing the suit. This has prevented further unwarranted self removal from the project as occurred in experiment eighteen. The upcoming test is the first live combat test. I have taken one of the subjects and isolated them for a few days, preventing use of the suit. They will be permitted to use the suit and instructed that if they wish to continue using it they will attack a target of my choosing.

-Recording Break- 

The experiment went far better than expected. The subject did not question the instructions given nor did they seem to show any lack of remorse for their actions. Short of a few further tests to ensure subjects can work together. Further testing is unwarranted. 

Audiovisual log transcript:

Within the test arena there is a single individual they appear to be a military volunteer. Missing a limb. Quite possibly a earlier subject from the Steel Eye testing. The subject is nervous and clearly unstable. The researcher enters, alongside the Steel eye testing unit. The subject of the steel eye seems to be hyper alert and jittery. The individual spots the Steel eye suit and panics, attempting to move away from it. The researcher indicates the individual to the subject and the subject charges the individual, striking them with the backhand of the suit. The individual is thrown across the testing area to impact against the far wall. The landing angle indicates not only a broken neck but several other lethal injuries, including a crushed skull. The researcher, seemingly satisfied provides the subject with a vial of some kind, And leaves the testing area. 

“Researchers and test subjects alike died during the experimentation, and yet the scientists did not stop.” She looks down at her notes, “The experiment went far better than expected? What is that even supposed to mean, you expected more people to die? YOu expected the test subject to be more unstable. Furthermore, the use of the suit and the drugs as a reward for the already unstable test subjects is a simple demonstration of how poorly this experiment was run and overseen. These ethical violations should never have begun much less allowed to continue.”

Discussion synopsis regarding further system problems.

The researchers confirm that all systems are working to their optimum capabilities given the research time and that they have done everything in their power to keep the subjects safe and healthy throughout the testing process and that no undue risk were taken. Dr Abara indicates disdain for Dr Wilkinson’s methods and suggests he be court marshalled for his attempted ‘sabotage’ of the project. This is dismissed by Admiral Ableman. Problems are mentioned regarding power sources and suggestions are raised including back pack mounted power units. This is eventually solved with Dr Nkosi suggests making use of injured soldiers and using the space where their limb would be to mount power packs. The next issue raised is the fact that the Steel Eye suit puts too much stress on soldiers in active combat scenarios as mentioned by Dr Abara stating that ‘subjects fell apart too fast.’  Again Dr Nkosi provides a solution by suggesting the use of augmetics. Dr Stein at this point provides a interface solution using the prosthetics. With all problems solved All relevant papers are handed over to the Admiral and Colonel for the production and shipping out of the combat capable Steel Eye suits.

The lawyer stood quietly before them, hands clasped at her front,  “Experimental testing lasted less than a decade. The pain of the interface was never fixed, and yet they sold it off to desperate UNSC officials in order to win the Drev war. Fifty men and women were subjected to implantation. Thirty of those are dead ten of those are permanently psychologically damaged. Five are still in treatment while five more are the only ones who manage to be functional and hold jobs. However,” She motioned towards Adam, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “We also see that -- even then, they are not exempt from psychological dysfunction, though they were never compensated.” She shuffled her papers, “The prosecution has no further comments at this time.” She turned and went back to her seat, pausing to sit and speak quietly with her partner for a moment as the judges deliberated.

Amidral Kelly learned over, “If that was no reasonable doubt, then I don’t know what is.”

Adam nodded, he was feeling pretty good about this all things told.”

Off on the other side of the room, the defence took to their feet. It seemed mostly as if their strategy was not getting their clients out of trouble but simply mitigating the punishments related to the crimes they HAD committed. He heard a lot of tripe and waffling about supposed loopholes in the system and about how they had WON the Drev war after all. There was even a couple arguments about how everyone there had signed an agreement to participate so it actually wasn’t all that bad.

The entire thing seemed as if it was going to be tied up in a neat little bag for them .

That was until.

“The defence would like to call Admiral Vir to the witness stand.”

He froze in palace eyes wide and looked around in confusion. Of course this was perfectly legal and in their  rights for them to do this, but he had no idea what they are going to ask. He stood slowly and made his way towards the witness stand staring at the defence as he took an uncomfortable seat on the wooden witness chair.

“ Admiral Vir, How old are you/”

He had to admit that he didn’t expect that question and paused for an unbelievable amount of time before answering, “Twenty six.”

“So young for an admiral.”

“Yes, I suppose.”

The prosecution stood, “Objection your honor, this information is irrelevant.”

“We will allow it.” The prosecution sat.

“And you are not currently taking any medications for your PTSD.”

“No, but I do have a service dog.”

“And do you receive metal evaluations often, as an admiral.”

He shifted in his seat not sure where this was going, and not liking it one bit, “Yes.”

“So you might say that it is safe to assume that the UNSC considers you mentally sound enough to command an entire armada of ships at the age of 26.”

“I…. yes.”

“Admiral, do you have any phobias.”

He swallowed hard unable to tell at all where this was going on, “No, councilor, I don’t.”

“Do you know anyone who does?”

“Yes, I have a friend who has claustrophobia.”

“And how does that person react in enclosed spaces.”

“They panic.”

“Do they actively seek out enclosed spaces, or do they avoid them?”

Adam shrugged, “They avoid them of course. They don’t even like elevators”

“Right, so it would be safe to say that if someone has trauma or panic related to a certain event or object, they would be likely to avoid that object or thing or association with that object at all costs.”

His hands had begun sweating again. A line of it trickled down the back of his neck and between his shoulder blades, “I would assume so.”

“Admiral Vir, would you please show the court your prosthetic leg.”

His hearing completely cut out and all there was was a loud ringing. He saw one of the defence object but then watched as the judges deny that defence.

He was ordered to stand out in front of the court.

His hearing came back slowly as, shaking hands pulled up his right pant leg.

“Admiral Vir, would you mind removing the prosthetic for us.”

He felt heat rising to the back of his neck and up onto his face. The defence argued for him, but it was no use. The Bailiff brought him a chair, and he nervously, and self consciously unstrapped the prosthetic with a soft snick, quickly moving to cover the injury. He felt about ten times smaller as he handed the prosthetic over to the Bailiff, paraded in front of the courtroom like some kind of freak show.

He tried not to think about it, keeping his chin high eyes staring straight forward.

“Please show the judges the serial number on the thigh.”

The Bailiff did as requested.

“Can you ready that out for us your honor, please.”

“SE490000.”

“Dr. Gladstone can you please examine this prosthetic and tell me what you see.”

Adam was held on standby as the doctor moved forward uncomfortably to examine the leg which the bailiff was holding, “It…. is a modified bioprosthetic with Drev Chitin, I don’t…”

“And who would you say was the manufacturer?”

The man paused before his eyes widened slowly, “This…. This is-” he looked up, “This is a steel eye prosthetic.”

There was silence in the courtroom.

“Thank you Dr. Gladstone.” The defence motioned the Bailiff to return the leg to Adam, who strapped it on with still-shaking hands.

“ Admiral Vir,  the defence requests that you remove your uniform jacket. If you would be more comfortable that can be done in privacy of course.”

Adam stared at them in confusion. The prosecution stood to argue again, but again were denied.

“Would you like to step into the back room admiral?”

Running on autopilot he shook his head probably having preferred some privacy but being far too confused to actually request it.

He stood and slowly unbuttoned the front of his uniform jacket, staring with the high neck collar and then down either side.

He handed the jacket the the Bailiff, who held it form him.

He stood now in only a white undershirt.

“Admiral please turn around and hold your arms out to the side.”

He did as told.

The room muttered softly.

“Dr. Wilkenson, do you recognize those.”

From behind him, adam heard the weak response, “Those are iron eye interface ports.”

“Thank you admiral, you may put your jacket back on.”

He did as ordered feeling his neck and face turn hot red as he took his seat back on the stand.”

“Admiral, if steel eye had such a negative effect on you, then why would you be wearing a steel eye prosthetic and iron eye interface ports. Wouldn’t those exacerbate your condition.”

He opened and closed his mouth.

The prosecution stood, “Objection your honor, Admiral Vir is not the one on trial here, and this is humiliation.”

“Sit down, council.” The defence was looking rather smug, “presenting to the court footage from the Burg war on the Gromm homeworld.”

Adam’s head was filled with the sound of screaming and gunshots. The camera he was watching through was shaky and jostled this wa and that as the figure ran. Up ahead a massive bubble of force dominates the skyline and hundreds of borg ships swarmed around its top like an eruption of bees.

Drev and other marines ran up and beside, and just ahead of that.

He saw a familiar figure.

He saw himself.

Running at the front of the group. Even over the sound of the screaming and the gunfire he could hear the repetitive hydraulic hiss and whirring of the servo motors as the steel eye suit spurred him to impossible speeds. The Steel eye prosthetic hissed the loudest as he was propelled over the ground.

His heart began to beat faster and faster inside his chest, lines of sweat poured down his back and the halo of lights overhead was growing as if to encompass his vision. He felt sick and dizzy all at once, feeling as if he was tiling sideways and going to fall over. He watched as the image of him ran headfirst into a burg, grabbed it by its slimy centipede limbs…. And ripped it apart. His vision blurred and his ears were ringing.

Muffled gasps filled the court.

He gripped the sides of his chair willing himself to stay in reality, to not pass out or be sucked into some horrific sort of flashback.

He wanted to throw up.

The ringing in his ears only stopped a few minutes later with the Bailiff gently shaking his shoulder.

“Admiral.”

He sat up straighter, his hearing still muffled, but at least he could see.

“Admiral, why did you put on the suit again if it had such damaging effects on you the first time.” “I…. It… i... “ He continued to stammer for a moment before stopping and taking a deep breath, “I thought it was the only way. I put on the suit because I thought if I didn’t than I was forfeiting earth to the Burg, and I couldn’t allow that to happen.” “And how would you describe wearing the suit.”

His heart was thundering in his ears. He felt like he was going to fall over, to be sick. Phantom shots of pain ran up and down his spine. He was shaking so badly he wondered if the entire courtroom could see it, “Indescribable pain….”

“But you didn’t tear it off.”

Soft, “No.”

“So, despite the alleged trauma that the Steel eye project caused you, you wear a steel eye prosthetic, iron eye interfaces, and you have even put on the steeleye suit a second time…. Based on those actions, it hardly seems like the behavior of someone who has received laying trauma from the Steel eye project. Could it be, that your PTSD stems from the war itself and not from the Steel eye project.”

His mouth opened and then closed. His ears were still ringing, and it was hard to think around.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to put two thoughts together. Even his internal monologue had gone silent. 

“Admiral, please answer the question.”

That was when another side of him reared its head. Where the soft squishy 26 year old manchild could not answer the question, there was someone else there t pick up his pieces.”

The admiral, and the Veterin, and the Drev Sentinel,and the warrior stepped into his palace.

His hearing cleared very suddenly and he sat up turning his gaze on the defence.

The targeting system in his prosthetic eye snapped into focus placing the radicals just over the lawyers face.’

“Council, I can see that you are attempting to undermine my claim of PTSD related to the steel eye project to mitigate the lasting effects of the trauma on my person. Based on your argument, I would never have put on the prosthetic or the suit had it caused as much harm to me as I claim. I will have you know, however, that the leg was a gift from a Drev soldier following the war as a gesture of peace taken, discarded from the battlefield and modified. That leg later went on to save my life as it adopted me into the Drev clan. It is an everyday reminder of the war, and the things I lost. It took me months to be able to wear it for what it was -- as a gift-- rather than a reminder of the war. As for the Burg war, I have made mistakes in my time and that was one of them. THe Steel eye suit is a drug, and no matter how much one hates it you always want to come back. That feeling of power, being ten times stronger than you should be, it's like being a god, It is everything you hate and love all in one, and yes I was in ‘debilitating pain’ but i kept going because I  thought at that time it was the only way to save the universe.’ He leaned forward in his seat, “So the next time I am lying in the dark prone in the fetal position because one of the pipes on my ship accidentally made a hissing noise, I will take a moment to think about whether it was te steeleye project or the war.” 

His voice did not quiver or break, and instead of feeling small, he could imagine the defence shrinking slightly at his words, whose volume had never raised. 

“You may take your seat admiral.”

He did as told again straight backed and unmoved by the eyes that stared at him.

Admiral Kelly was staring at him as he took his seat, but he didn’t acknowledge her.

Thedefence  brought forward a few more points crosse examining Dr. Wilkenson before the prosecution stepped forward again.

 “The prosecution would now like to call expert witness Dr. Lemar Dedtric to the stand.”

There was some shuffling for a few moments as another man stood from he crowd and walked forward taking his seat and sworn to truth  before the eyes of the court.

“Dr. Dedric, tell us a little of your credentials here today.”

The man nodded, “For the past twenty years, I have headed the  leading psychiatric foundation at the University of Northern Mericanda. I have practiced psychiatry for those same twenty years, published over 100 papers and founded more than twenty psychological foundations for veterans. At the university level I focus primarily on Post Traumatic Stress as related to combat with a secondary focus on the psychological effects of biotechnology implantation.” “And you also reviewed this case like Dr. Gladstone?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And do you believe that there were any psychological effects related to the use of the Steel eye suits on these men and women?”

He nodded, “Most certainly. I think the admiral explained it most clearly when he described the steel eye suit as a drug. As we know, Upgrade addiction was recently added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental illness last march. Studies that led to the institution of this particular illness found that subjects who were exposed to extreme bio interfacing where more likely to continue adding interfaces as time went on. When asked the subjects reported that their desire to augment came from the feeling of power the interface gave them. The steel eye subjects, based on the notes presented in court indicate a proclivity to going back to the project or something similar despite degrading mental health.”

“The prosecution would like to present video testimony from a few of the remaining steel eye operatives.”

With these testimonies, the case lasted well into the day, and far into the night before court was adjourned and reschedule fo the following day. He slept as if in a haze nad returned early to listen to the rest of the cross examination He was called up multiple times for both sides, but never cracked once during that time. It was as if he was watching himself from the outside.

The defence never called up their own people to the stand, and were likely not going to call them up at all.

That was fine by him.

And then finally, mercifully the judges stepped off into the deliberation chambers staying there for a good half of the day before everyone was called back.

“After much deliberation the Geneva court has come to a verdict….. A verdict. A verdict of guilt on all charges which includes the maximum sentence of life in the Turma maximum security prison facility on multiple counts of Torture, mltiple counts of manslaughter, and multiple counts of gross ethical violation, Court Dismissed.”

Adam sighed sinking back in his seat to stare up at the ceiling.

What a long day this had been.

But at least now it was over

A new us will begin (8/ 12)

word count: 5k

AO3

part 1   / part 2 / part 3  / part 4  / part 5 / part 6  / part 7 / part 9

content warning: blood, injuries, referenced character death, animal death (a monster and kind of implied a horse)

All too soon, the day that had been looming over them like a storm cloud that seemed far away at first until you realised you were already caught in the storm, was there. The day of the troupe’s last performance before they would move on.

This time, Geralt felt more than ever as if Dandy was speaking to him when he was speaking his lines in the dungeon scene. Maybe that was just wishful thinking, but while Dandy was reciting his big monologue, for a moment there, Geralt was so sure that it wasn’t the pirate asking the knight to come with him, but Dandy asking Geralt.

Clearing the stage after the performance felt strange that day. Geralt wasn’t the only one who worked noticeably slower than usually to delay the inevitable departure of the troupe and more than once he heard one of the actors sniffle.

“It’s always like that after the last performance,” Dandy explained quietly from his place perched on the box. “It always feels a bit like saying goodbye.”

“You’re going to perform that play again,” Geralt said, not sure whether that was at all a comforting thing to say. “In another city. Maybe with an even bigger audience.”

Dandy’s lips twisted into a crooked smile, but it felt more like a mask than an expression of joy.

“Maybe. But I really liked the audience here.” His voice was void of the mirth that so often tinged his words.

Geralt had no reply to that. He settled on an unsatisfying hum that could have meant anything and turned back to his task of dismantling the stage.

Dandy was unusually quiet, only drumming a slow rhythm on the box, while Geralt worked until at long last, Geralt was done with his work.

“Are we going to the tavern again?” Geralt asked hesitatingly, not sure if he would still be welcome on this day that made all the actors more emotional. Welcoming as they might be otherwise, Geralt wouldn’t be able to fault them, if they didn’t want him in their midst today.

That didn’t soften the ache in his chest, when Dandy said, “No. We are not.” He fiddled with his cane and shuffled on his feet.

Geralt nodded, more for his own benefit, as if the simple motion could dull the pang of disappointment.

“Right. Of course.”

“That is,” Dandy said, something tentative and endlessly hopeful making his pitch a little higher. “I was thinking the two of us could take a walk? Maybe you could show me your favourite places in town? Unless you’d rather go to the tavern with the others.”

Geralt didn’t answer. The last time, that he knew of, that Dandy had gone for a walk with just one other person, hadn’t ended too well for him. Geralt couldn’t put into words how much it meant to him that Dandy trusted him enough to go somewhere alone.

Gently, he took Dandy’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. Dandy didn’t flinch at the unexpected contact, but his brows shot up in surprise and his whole face lit up.

“Alright, then,” Dandy said, his voice trembling with barely concealed excitement. “Lead the way.”

The other actors barely paid them any mind as they walked past. Geralt only stopped to tell Nadine where they were going and promised her that he would take Dandy back safely.

“You better,” she said and narrowed her eyes at him, but her tone wasn’t even hinting at being intimidating. With a twinkle in her eye, that Geralt chose to ignore, she added, “But don’t rush. We won’t leave until morning, so you have plenty of time to make the best of the night.”

Neither Geralt nor Dandy commented on that last part and when Geralt looked at Dandy out of the corner of his eyes, there was a pretty blush colouring the actor’s cheeks.

Walking with Dandy’s hand in his was a strange experience. After having seen how he moved when he was on stage or surrounded by his friends, it was hard not to notice how differently he acted when it was just the two of them. He was still loud, talking nearly as much as Jaskier had, about the first play he had ever starred in, about the one time he had succeeded in making every other player break character while on stage and how Nadine was already debating which play they were going to rehearse next. Yet, despite the gush of words tumbling from Dandy’s lips, it was clear that part of his attention was constantly focussed on his cane.

It took Geralt more will power than he would have liked to admit not to warn Dandy of every little bump in the road or pull him closer when they turned into another street. Dandy had his own way of knowing where he was going and Geralt still remembered vividly how pissed Dandy had been one time when someone at a tavern had tried to flirt with him by insisting to do every single thing for him as if Dandy wasn’t fully capable of doing things for himself and having his own autonomy.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Dandy asked, before the comfortable conversation could fade into silence. “You never told me what your favourite spot here is.”

Geralt gave an amused hum. “Would you believe me if I said it was the market place?”

Dandy let out a bark of laughter. “Absolutely not. I know I am a delight to be around, but don’t think I didn’t notice how uncomfortable you are with the crowds.”

“Your friends are nice, though.”

Dandy’s grip on his hand tightened a little. “I’d say they are your friends too.”

Geralt’s jaw worked and his free hand twitched. “I’ve never been good at making friends. Or keeping them.”

Dandy let out a snort. “Oh please. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that.” When Geralt gave no reply, Dandy came to a stop. “Wait, really? You’re not joking? I-Geralt. I’ve known since the moment that you came backstage for the first time that I wanted to be your friend. You are…I don’t think you realise how good you are. There aren’t many people who would have helped me like you did without expecting anything in return.”

“Nadine let me watch your plays for free and she gave me a job.”

“None of which you asked for,” Dandy said gently. “I know Kara likes to exaggerate, but she said you were very adamant about paying to see the play on that first day.” Something in his posture shifted and he stepped a little closer to Geralt. “I might not have known you for that long, but you are the most amazing friend I could ask for.” His thumb caressed Geralt’s knuckles. “And if the friend you mentioned were here with us, I’m sure he would say the same thing.”

He would. Jaskier would say exactly the same thing. For once, the though didn’t pierce Geralt’s chest, but soothed the ache in it.

Geralt returned the soft caress and cleared his throat. “There is one friend I’ve had for a long time. I…would like for you to meet her, if you wanted to.”

Dandy’s expression softened. “I would love to.”

--

“I don’t know what I expected, but somehow I feel like I shouldn’t be surprised that your best friend is a horse.”

Dandy’s hand, which Geralt held gently towards Roach, didn’t tremble, but Dandy did suck in a sharp breath that ended in startled laughter when Roach bumped her muzzle against it eagerly.  

Slowly, Geralt let go, while he watched Dandy get more comfortable stroking Roach. Almost immediately, Dandy found Roach’s favourite spot to get scratched between her ears. His voice went up in pitch as he started showering Roach in compliments and rhymes of praise – some of which were words Jaskier had spoken to Roach a hundred times before - which Roach rewarded by bumping her head against Dandy’s chest affectionately and nibbling at his clothes, making Dandy giggle.

It was such a soft moment, that Geralt’s heart swelled with unbearable fondness. This was how it was supposed to be. He could almost imagine how the future could be: Dandy leaning against him while they sat next to a campfire, just the two of them. Dandy bickering with Roach, once he realised that the mare liked to nibble on doublets. Dandy practicing his monologues while walking beside Geralt.

That dream was as beautiful as it was impossible.

Had the Path been dangerous for Jaskier, a bard who had a talent and experience in running away from danger, it would be a death sentence for Dandy. As much as he could orient himself in a city where the streets were at least somewhat even, his cane wouldn’t be much use when tracking through underbrush or climbing over rocks in the wilderness. Not to mention the monsters and bandits that would see Dandy as an easy target.

Even if Geralt would be able to somehow keep Dandy safe and only take roads that Dandy would be able to orient himself on, he knew that he could never convince Dandy to abandon his troupe, just to come with him. He didn’t want to convince him. If there was one thing Geralt had learned these past weeks, it was that the troupe was a family. He could never expect Dandy to leave them for him.

So he stayed quiet, doing his best to hold Roach in place while Dandy petted her neck.

He nearly startled, when Dandy broke the silence again.

“It’s going to be just the two of you then, when you leave?”

A pang shot through Geralt’s chest, but he forced the bitterness out of his voice when he replied, “It’s been like that most of the time. Roach is a good companion. Doesn’t let herself get hurt by monsters or bandits.”

Dandy gave a thoughtful hum. “She’s not easy to spook then? Is she good with other horses?” Almost like an afterthought, he added, “And loud people?”

Geralt scratched the space between Roach’s ears, keeping his eyes trained on her, even though he knew Dandy wouldn’t be able to tell if he was staring at him either way. He just couldn’t look at him when he spoke his next words.

“There was an incident during Belleteyn a couple of decades ago.” A hollow smile thinned his lips. “Got me into a lot of trouble. Not only me. But…she did get used to my bard. And he was as loud as one could get.”

Dandy started fidgeting with his cane, twirling it and then gripping it tightly again. “So…say, if she were to travel with a group of actors, she wouldn’t be bothered by the noise?”

Geralt’s heart jumped to his throat. “What are you saying?”

He couldn’t mean what Geralt so desperately wished he meant.

“I’m asking you to come with me. Us. The troupe.” Dandy’s hand stilled on Roach’s neck and he lifted his head. His sightless eyes were boring into Geralt, the seriousness of the moment making it hard to breathe.

“Dandy,” his voice was tight and the name burned on his tongue. “You don’t know what you’re asking. Witchers are…most people don’t like us.” Not anymore. Not since Jaskier was gone and his songs got lost to time. “If I came with you, I would only bring you trouble.”

“No you wouldn’t,” Dandy said hotly. “If there’s a place that’s bigoted enough to chase away witchers then I can guarantee they wouldn’t welcome travelling actors either. Not that we’d want to perform for such people anyway.”

“This isn’t just something you can ask in the spur of the moment-“

“You’re absolutely right, it’s not. Which is why I spent a lot of time thinking this through. Do you want a list for why we would be happy to have you come with us? Because I have a list. Mika helped me with it.”

Geralt let out a long sigh, but before he could protest further, Dandy had already straightened his spine and taken on the posture he had used when he had played the pirate in his most self-assured moments.

“You don’t have to stay with us forever, of course. Just for the winter. To see if you like it. It’s always dangerous for us to travel in the snow. You could keep us safe from bandits or monsters while we travelled and help out with setting up the stage when we get to towns?” This was his acting voice. By now, Geralt could recognised the intonation of it in his sleep. Dandy hadn’t exaggerated when he had said he’d thought about this. Clearly, he had taken the time to learn the list by heart. “Or take contracts there. Or you could sell tickets with Kara and make sure no one’s causing trouble over the price. Or you-“

“Dandy,” Geralt interjected softly, but Dandy pointedly ignored him.

“-could help us backstage during performances. That fire thingy and that blast magic of yours could be brilliant light or wind effects.”

Geralt let out a snort. “I don’t think having an open flame on stage is a good idea. And Aard isn’t that easy to control. My brother could maybe do it, but I’d probably blast you right off the stage if I tried.”

Dandy’s brows pinched together, then he shrugged. “That one was Mika’s idea. I told them it was ridiculous.”

“As opposed to the idea that anyone would want a witcher to travel with them in the first place.”

“Exactly.” A grin spread across Dandy’s face. “That is completely rational and there’s not a single argument that could convince me that it’s a bad idea.”

Geralt couldn’t stop himself from returning the smile. Good thing Dandy couldn’t see it, or he’d know that he had already won.

Though years of experience of being chased away and spat at, told Geralt that this wouldn’t end well for anyone, he also knew that winters were a rough time for a witcher out on the Path. Contracts were sparse and the few monsters one would come across, were more vicious than ever, made thirsty for blood from the lack of prey.

There were good arguments for why Geralt should come with the troupe. Deep in his heart, he already knew that he didn’t need those arguments. A part of him had been ready to follow Dandy to the end of the world from the moment that he had first seen him.

Still… “What about Nadine? She’s the one who’d have the last say.”

Dandy snorted, lacking any sort of grace. “Do you have a point? Because I don’t see it.”

Geralt spluttered, “Did- did you just-“

“Maybe,” Dandy said with a cheeky grin. “But you see, I already talked to Nadine about this. And she said, and I quote: ‘If he thinks he’d not be welcome here, tell him I think he’s an idiot and that I will personally kick his arse.’” Dandy left a dramatic pause, before he concluded, “And I would help her with that.”

“Dandy,” Geralt began, but Dandy interrupted him.

“Oh no. I will not hear another word of self-doubt from you. If you don’t want to come with us, that’s fine. But don’t you think for even a second that I would let it stand that you think we wouldn’t want you with us.”

“Dandy,” Geralt repeated softly but with more emphasis. He reached for Dandy’s hand, that was still resting on Roach’s neck and tangled their fingers together. “I will stay with you. For the winter.”

For as long as you’ll have me.

--

Travelling with the troupe was different than anything Geralt had ever experienced. For one, he didn’t have to sleep outside or pray to find an inn that would let him stay. Granted, sleeping in one of the spare wagons, a horrid green thing, in-between props, costumes and parts of the set design wasn’t the most comfortable Geralt had ever been, but it was so much better than sleeping on the freezing ground or having to worry about running out of coin.

But the most notable difference was the feeling of being part of a group. Geralt had his family back at Kaer Morhen, but it was different with them. They all had shared experiences and grief that had brought them closer together. Sure, there were memories of laughing together and just being happy were they were, but the reason the wolves were a pack was because of all the bad things that had been done to them and the need to fight against the bad memories.

For the players, it was the exact opposite. They had become a family out of their shared love for the theatre and it showed. Every once in a while, one of them would just start speaking strangely and it never took long for others to join in. Dandy had to explain to Geralt that they were making a game of only speaking in quotes of past plays and see who would remember the most lines. When Geralt asked why Dandy never joined in these games, Dandy laughed.

“Because I would win and leave them all looking stupid, obviously. You don’t want to watch them sulk over that, believe me.”

Geralt didn’t voice his doubts, but he was almost certain that the real reason for Dandy’s silence was that he didn’t want Geralt to feel left out.

The thing was, Geralt had watched the play about the pirate so many times that by now he felt he should know the entirety of it by heart.

The first time Geralt joined in the game by speaking the beginning of Dandy’s big monologue, he earned himself round-eyed looks and proud claps on the shoulder. Most importantly, he got to hear Dandy’s delighted laughter, that warmed Geralt from the inside, chasing away even the coldest winter wind.

--

Word travelled fast, especially when spread by actors, who made a point of mentioning that they were travelling with the elusive White Wolf to lure in bigger crowds whenever they settled down for a couple of weeks.

Soon, there was barely anyone left in the area, that didn’t know that Geralt was with them. Contrary to what he had feared, no one took that as an invitation to attack the actors. In fact, not a single bandit or thief dared to even look at them in a wrong way.

The protection that came with Geralt made the troupe much more relaxed than they had been in the first days of travel and even Geralt found himself less tense and alert than he would have been, had he been travelling on his own, not even wearing his armour most days during travel and keeping his weapons attached to Roach’s saddle.

He should have known better than to be so negligent.

Because while bandits might see Geralt and realise that attacking wouldn’t be a good idea, monsters only saw the colourful wagons, the tired horses and travellers and found themselves with a feasts on a silver platter.

Geralt should have been the first to notice that something was wrong. He should have heard the slow footsteps of a beast stalking its prey. He should have paid attention to the low humming of his medallion. He should have looked out for things that could take Dandy away from him instead of getting lost looking at him.

As it was, the horses were the first to notice. They started stomping their hooves and throwing their heads back nervously.

Then came the howl. It was dangerously close.

“What was that?” Nadine’s voice was tight with worry and she left her place at the front of their little caravan to make sure no one had separated from the group.

“A wolf?” Dandy suggested tentatively from where he was perched on one of the wagons.

Geralt’s face twisted into a scowl and his hand shot up to grip his medallion. Its low vibration made Geralt’s head snap around, searching for the threat.

“That’s no wolf.” His eyes darted over the treeline not far from them and the obvious tracks their wagons had left in the snow, making them far too easy to follow. “That’s something much worse.”

Dandy sucked in a sharp breath and Geralt wished, he’d be able to say something more comforting, but this was no time for lies.

“You have to go.” Geralt grabbed Nadine by the arm and gave her an imploring look. “Take the horses and run.”

Something fierce flickered through her eyes. “I will not leave a single member of this group behind. That includes you, witcher.”

Another howl, this one even closer than before. Geralt opened his mouth to snarl at Nadine that he was here to protect them, when the first horse fell into a panic.

It reared up, tried to dash away. The wagon it was pulling toppled and fell, taking the horse down with it with a panicked neigh.

Geralt whirled back to Nadine, whose eyes were now wide and full of fear.

“Go,” he pressed on. “Make sure the others are safe.”

For a long second, Geralt though she was going to protest, but then she raised her voice.

“You heard what he said. Get the horses free of the wagons and run!”

Immediately, the actors followed her command. Their movements were hectic and clumsy with panic. Geralt ran over to Roach, grabbing his silver sword and facing the treeline from where the howl had come. His muscles were tense as a bow string while he listened to the actors do their best to get on the horses before they fled. They weren’t fast enough.

With measures steps and a growl that Geralt felt in his bones, the beast left the shadows of the trees. From the distance, it almost looked like a wolf, but it was as big as a bear and instead of a pelt, it showed wiry muscles and claws sharper than any normal animal could have. Its neck was protected by a mattered mane that almost resembled a lion’s. It was a skullwarg, a beast evolved from a monster that should have died out ages ago.

Geralt gripped his sword tighter and ran to stand between the beast and the wagons.

“Geralt!”

Geralt jerked back violently at Dandy’s call. His blood ran cold. Dandy couldn’t run. He couldn’t ride. Not on his own.

“Geralt, you have to come with us!”

Geralt didn’t reply. He tried as best he could to shut Dandy’s cries out, but he continued to call for him, to beg him to flee with them, while the skullwarg stalked closer, baring its teeth.

It took all of Geralt’s strength not to turn around, as Dandy’s shouts became louder and more urgent. From the sounds of it, someone tried to pull him off the wagon and Dandy fought them tooth and nail.

Unbidden, images of Jaskier flooded Geralt’s mind. Jaskier lying on the ground, bleeding because Geralt hadn’t been able to get to him before a griffin did. Jaskier looking up at Geralt while blood dripped out of his mouth and his throat swelled from a djinn attack. Jaskier, lying in his arms, cold and unmoving.

Then the images shifted to Geralt clutching Dandy in his arms, trying to stop him from bleeding out, unable to do anything to stop the inevitable.

He blinked against those images, forced them away. He couldn’t let them become reality. Not yet. Not as long as he could stand between Dandy and death.

“Mika!” Geralt shouted without turning away, trusting that the actor was still close enough to hear and listen to him. “Get Dandy on Roach. Ride with him as far away as you can!”

“Geralt, no!” Geralt had to squeeze his eyes shut to drown out Dandy’s pleas. “No, Mika, don’t- We can’t just leave him. Geralt!”

Geralt opened his eyes just in time to see the skullwarg break into a sprint. Geralt widened his stance and faced the beast head-on.

The skullwarg jumped. Its claws grazed Geralt’s shoulder, just as he swung his sword, missing the opportunity to roll beneath it as he had learned. Staying in one place put Geralt at a clear disadvantage, but he couldn’t risk letting the beast get closer to the others.

He swung his sword mercilessly, evaded bites and claws, silently begging the others to hurry.

Fire erupted in his shoulder. Teeth like daggers buried into his flesh, dragging him down. The unexpected force flung his sword out of his grip. One of the beast’s paws pinned his arm to the ground.

The shouts behind him grew louder, more worried.

The beast’s breath above him smelled like decay and death. He needed to use igni, if he wanted to make it out alive.

But the horses were still near enough to become more agitated by the flames. Dandy was on one of those horses. If he fell because of Geralt and got left behind, there was little chance of him surviving.

Blazing agony shot through Geralt’s shoulder, as the skullwarg tore its teeth out of it again. Geralt panted and ground his teeth against the pain. He had to focus. He had to stay alive so he could protect the others!

He brazed himself for another attack. The beast’s maul snapped at him again. In the last second, Geralt threw his free hand up just enough to form Aard. The movement burned in his shoulder and left him gasping for air, but the shock of the blast that flung the beast to the side, bought Geralt a few precious moments. He pushed himself back up and darted to his sword.

Behind him, he could hear the clapping of hooves, as the horses sped away. Hopefully, the actors knew better than to return anytime soon.

If Geralt didn’t make it, he hoped that at least he would be able to buy them enough time to get themselves to safety.

Geralt watched with a tight jaw, how the beast shook its head and stood back up with a low growl. Without warning, the skullwarg charged again.

Geralt ducked behind one of the wagons, but the beast didn’t crush against it, as he had hoped, but rounded it in two quick jumps.

It was too fast.

Geralt wouldn’t be able to fight it with just his silver. Still, he slashed at it again in blind desperation. The blade came away bloody, but Geralt’s shoulder screamed with every swing, the edged of his vision going black with every time the pain flared up. He wouldn’t be able to last long like this.

Another hit. Another. Claws grazing his forehead as he tried to duck under the attack.

Blood dripped into Geralt’s eyes, dying the world red. Red. Red.

Like Jaskier’s blood. Like Dandy’s.

Geralt staggered forwards, sword lifted high above his head. His foot caught on something lying on the ground. It was Dandy’s cane.

His heart splintered like wood beneath an axe. He had lost his cane. He needed it. Geralt had to bring it back to him…

He shook his head, trying to get his mind to stay with him. He couldn’t risk getting distracted.

The skullwarg leaped towards him and rammed its head against Geralt’s chest. All air was pressed out of Geralt’s lungs, leaving him gasping.

He threw his arm up and a burst of flames burst out of his palm. The beast whined as his mane became bright red with flames. The fire flickered in its black eyes. Geralt panted and fell to his knees as he watched the best howl in pain and fury, running in circles to get the flames to stop devouring him. With a crash, the skullwarg collided with the wagon that had toppled before.

A roar, as the wood caught fire. Dandy’s living going up in flames.

“No.” Geralt’s eyes widened. The beast didn’t stop. Mindless in its fear, it bit at its own body, twisting and jumping, uncaring of where it went.

Geralt couldn’t let it set fire to any more of the wagons.

He ran, before he could think about what he was doing and jumped, barrelling into the beast and bringing it down with him, crashing against the wheels of another wagon. A crack went through the wood. Somewhere at the back of his mind, Geralt recognised the green paint as the wagon he used to sleep in.

Sharp agony tore him out of his thoughts. Claws dug into Geralt’s flesh and teeth tore into him, but Geralt couldn’t think, couldn’t stop to fight off the pain or the relentless attacks. He pressed the skullwarg to the ground with his own body, clenching his teeth against the pain of the flames licking at him. He dropped his sword, using his hands to shovel snow onto the flames. He had to quench them. Dandy couldn’t return to find his life burned down to ash.

He couldn’t waste a single moment.

Fire. The other wagon was still burning. The flames could easily devour the other wagons if Geralt didn’t do something. The smoke stung in his eyes, making it impossible to see.

Without thinking, Geralt threw another blast of Aard at the burning wagon, bringing a wave of snow with it and pushing the wagon away from the others.

The force of the blast pushed Geralt unexpectedly against the wagon he had crashed into before.

Another crack came from right behind him.

The skullwarg whined beneath him, thrust its ugly head to the side, desperate to get free. A shadow descended over them.

Geralt turned just in time to see another wheel of the wagon break from the force of the Aard.

He had no time to think, no time to get himself to safety. Still, Geralt threw himself forwards, trying to get away before the wagon came crashing down on him.

The wagon met the ground with an ear-splitting crash. The whining of the beast cut off abruptly.

Geralt was pressed to the ground, all air escaping him. He felt splinters tear his skin open, felt his own blood dripping to the snow below. The pain hit Geralt a second later.

It felt as if his whole body was crushed. He couldn’t breathe.

He tried to move, tried to push the wagon off him, tried to crawl out from beneath it.

He didn’t make it more than a few feet, just enough that his fingers met the cane that lay abandoned in the snow.

His fingers closed around the cool wood, holding it like a lifeline.

Geralt’s breathing was shallow, every intake of breath felt like swallowing shards of glass. He could do nothing but welcome the numb darkness that welcomed him in its arms.

Arcturus stood before the hand-drawn map that had adorned the wall of the study within his family’s estate for nearly three centuries. The aged parchment was impressively massive, despite being rather tattered and rough around the edges, and it never failed to lure the gawking of guests who stood before it with intentions of addressing the Earl of County Nuada.

It had taken ancient Fotian cartographers some years to define the character of their country onto paper. From its infamous, densely packed forest ranges to its many lakes that freckled the land, each trait of the country was lovingly detailed and highlighted with artists’s own  additions, such as renditions of folkloric creatures and quotes from historical rulers and literary masterminds.

A single gloved finger trailed from the County of Nuada, through the neighboring County Neit, and over the Eriu Sea, which hugged Fotia’s borders like a protective mother to shield Fotia’s more frigid and stormy nature from Amestris and its balmy climate. Steadily, Arcturus’s hand followed paths through the Amestrian north, scanning towns along the way with little interest, until finally his gray eyes rested upon the capital of Amestris: Central City.

And then, with a small, tepid sigh, he drove a thin silver pin through the very heart of it.

Today, Earl Arcturus Od Nua had his feet firmly planted on Fotian soil, but by the next morning, he’d be sailing toward their allies to the north. “Allies” wasn’t necessarily a descriptor most common folk here would use for Amestrians. But Arcturus was a diplomatic man, and “allies” sounded more pleasant than the usual “heretical bastards across the sea”. It rolled from the tongue easier as well.

He hovered over the pin before finally turning away from the map, and with it, the nagging soreness in his upper back that had developed from slouching over his paperwork all day seemed to grow, as well as the pulsing of his temple. Normally, one would press themselves to take a break, but after acquiring his position of power (small as it may be, in the grand scheme of things) Arcturus had learned it was far easier to press through the exhaustion. There was much to prepare, and he didn’t want to leave his providence with even the slightest chance of a hiccup in his absence.

The emissary duties were an add-on to his title that he took with honor, but his first and always foremost concern would be the safety of his people. 

“The point of travel is to relax. Explore, learn, and drink lots of local wine. At least pretend to be thrilled for the opportunity,” a familiar voice chimed. Over his shoulder, Arcturus spared a glanced to the figure of a woman draped across his leather armchair like a lazy, sunbathing lap cat. On her tanned and freckled face was an ever-present crooked smirk that she wore as her best accessory. His appointed Knight, Elio, had her nose buried in one of his historical texts she must have snagged from his shelves without his permission. She peeked over the pages of her book and tipped her head to him in some unspoken acknowledgment of his discomfort. 

He hadn’t recalled hearing a servant announce her arrival or letting the woman into his chamber himself, but after nearly two years of adjusting to her particular brand of what he could only describe as “peculiarity”, Arcturus learned to stop wasting brain power on such questions. Rather, he learned to respond with something he was more proficient at: persistence. 

“It’s not a vacation, Elio,” he corrected firmly. “I’m emissary of Fotia and Amestris, and this trip is-“

“An excuse to day-drink.“

“An annual visit and opportunity to strengthen our countries’ bonds.” He became aware of the puffy, dark bags under his eyes, which had become a somewhat permanent feature over the past few years since his inauguration, as he rubbed at them slightly and waved Elio’s cheeky comment off. He stepped past her to his own armchair seated at his desk and eased himself in. “I speak with members of their ranks, usually. Sometimes I’m granted audience with the Fuhrer. But most of my time is spent being peddled around from one politician to another…” Arcturus grunted as he settled into a more comfortable position. “And... drink? I mean, truly, what is the point if you’re not going to get shitfaced with their Generals...?” Elio concluded in more of a mumbling fashion to herself. What at first had been a bit of an off-handed joke had now become a serious issue to ponder apparently. Under her pursed brows, she glanced to him suspiciously. “I feel like you’re intentionally leaving out the best perks about this whole thing, m’lord.”

Arcturus admittedly couldn’t keep himself from chuckling but immediately felt what little cheer he mustered up being downed out by the same worrisome concerns that had been dragging him down all day. Historically, this visit to Amestris was a scheduled annual event. However, a Fotian emissary hadn’t set foot in Amestris since the infamous and equally humiliating demise of Fuhrer Bradley. There hadn’t been so much as a peep between the two lands since. And, quite honestly, the further he stayed from even hearing about outrageously secular things such as Philosopher’s stones and homunculi, the more Arcturus was content. Just the idea of conversation with the Amestrians on such subjects made his skin crawl. Amestris had a tainted reputation now, one not so easily looked over. And now, Arcturus had to awkwardly pretend to not be well-informed of the skeletons stuffed in the Fuhrer’s closet.

But he was bred to be a diplomatic man and was so, through and through. He would endure just fine. But all of that, he could endure with a meek smile. There something else bothered him, even more so.

Sensing the Earl’s rapidly deteriorating mood, Elio withdrew from her book, and with wistful sigh, closed the cover. She slid her way to her full height and tossed the book behind her as she closed the space between the two of them. “Still fretting over that mysterious little letter, hm?” There was no response as Elio found herself a perch on the desk’s corner, along-side the mounds of paperwork and bound notebooks spread across the tabletop. Arcturus was too occupied sluggishly rubbing his temples to reply promptly, as if to massage the thoughts into order first.

“The plea seems… too believable.”

Elio grumbled. “’Believable’, you say, and supposedly credible enough to have you pacing a rut straight into the floor- Shepherd help the cleaning servants who’ll be tasked to get the scuffs out of the floorboards tomorrow - Yet you won’t permit me to scout ahead in Amestris. You won’t even let me read the gods-damned letter.”

“I’m clearly not a target.” Though he intended to simply make a statement, it sounded more like begging to his ears. Perhaps he was. “No lowly lord such as myself is at risk, and that’s why it was wise of someone from within the Fuhrer’s inner circle to reach out to someone like me.”

“Truly? ‘Tis a rather desperate gesture to me. They know nothing of a ‘lowly lord’, such as yourself. So why reach out to you to help aid in a kidnapped queen- who we have no evidence was actually kidnapped?”

There was a heavy pause. Elio narrowed her eyes, and briefly, her ever-present smile waned. Arcturus made no effort to avoid her questioning gaze but still preferred to direct his sight to the map on the opposite wall of him. Arcturus pensively tapped his finger upon his chin, staring at the intricate veins that made up Amestris on the map. The longer he stared, the more his sights were drawn toward another body of land further north. The channels of Amestris bled out into a blank, near-nothingness, only depicted as mostly snow-capped mountains and endlessly blank landscapes.

“… Ah… There is a reason you’re willing to stick that big nose of yours into their business. But you won’t tell me. Is it really worth dragging Fotia into a cat fight between Amestris and Drachma?” Elio’s tone was somewhat vexed. Arcturus closed his eyes against it. He could feel the exhaustion of the day seeping somehow even further into his muscles now, and an argument with Elio about boundaries wasn’t something he could muster any further energy for. He smoothed back rogue strands of his long black hair that had freed themselves from his tie. Mounting fatigue was evident in his hoarse voice. “This is just something I cannot ignore… and yet there isn’t anything I can do. They took a risk to send that plea for backup, but I can’t send an army into Drachma on the assumption of a single Drachman citizen.” A light twist in his chest crept its way to his throat as he let slip a painful sigh and fought back a wince. “Even if I wanted to and had the concrete evidence to back his claims, our King wouldn’t permit it…”

A quick snort of laughter came from Elio abruptly. Perplexed, Arcturus frowned at her, then blinked down at the warm, slender hand that had found its way onto his tightly wound shoulder to offer a few lighthearted pats.

 “Almighty Shepherd!” she laughed in a way that was unclear whether she was just feigning exasperation or if she was actually irked at the idea. “You’re so quick to ignore that you have Fotia’s most talented Knight at your disposal? I will be there with you! Mayhap I can dig up a little more intel on the situation while you smooch on some local women and sample ales, aye?” She slyly winked, and for a second Arcturus could feel the corners of his lips threaten a genuine smile. “Besides,” she continued with a roll of her eyes. “I’m willing to bet Princess just ran off because she got bored of the attention. Being a queen must be so incredibly droll.”

Before Arcturus had the chance to insecurely squirm from under her friendly gesture, Elio swept away on her heels and, before reaching the exit, twirled into an elegant bow. “I will take my leave for the evening, m’lord. Tomorrow, we can deal with the Fuhrer’s concerns face-to-face.” As she straightened, she offered another fast wink. “And then after, I say we find out how awful Amestrians whiskey truly is.”

The two both cordially offered their farewells in warm silence, and soon Elio was waltzing out the door to retire for the evening. Now the ornate balcony window of the Earl’s suite was painted a deep, dark rosy pink, softly brushed together with the violet hue of impending night. After Arcturus quietly lit the last lantern of the study, he snuffed out the flame of his match with a flick of his wrist. Though he’d love nothing more to find his way beneath the alluring sheets of his bed, Sleep was an elusive lover, and he knew full well that tonight would be one full of work rather than rest. Settling down into his desk once more, he withdrew a piece of parchment that had arrived a few days earlier. He had felt a twinge of anxiety as soon as he first laid eyes on the dark blue wax seal of the envelope, secured to a poor, bone-weary messenger eagle that arrived at his estate and insistently squawked at his window. It was days later and even still, his heart beat quickened.There was still a lump in his throat as he scanned over the loose, lackadaisical script, but he forced himself to take in the actual message itself:

Arcturus         -

I wish I could say I’m sorry I had not written sooner. You understand my predicament, I’m sure. But now it’s time to put aside any pride and address an urgent matter. I have reason to believe an Amestrian of some considerable importance is in imminent danger. Please understand that I must be light-footed in this letter when it comes to details. We can discuss this further on your future departure to my new place of residence.

 You have always been a bullheaded lad, but a smart one nonetheless. You will know where to find me, nephew. Always in a figurehead’s shadow.

 -          Anostraus

Arcturus couldn’t resist a sneer at the scribble of a signature, which would have been illegible if it weren’t for the fact that he had been well-acquainted with his uncle’s awful handwriting through years of tutoring he had received beneath him.

‘I’m sorry, Elio,’ The man thought as neatly folding up the note before tossing it to the hungering flame of his lantern. ‘No rest for the wicked...’

Allow Us To Compliment Your New Clothes 

A commentary on public bias and reactions   

We Satanists are observers of the human condition and have grown used to seeing people applying their own biases and politics to unrelated topics, obfuscating a clear perception of the issues as they are shoehorned into preconceived, ill-fitting paradigms. To combat such distortion, we advocate a “third side” perspective—challenging the widely accepted notion that there are two sides to every story. Recent events have provided a somewhat perfect hellstorm of examples that are worth further exploration: US President Trump’s Saudi Orb visit and the image of comedian Kathy Griffin holding Trump’s fake severed head. Headlines in competing political arenas suggested the Church of Satan quickly denounced both Trump and Griffin. These are calculated controversial soundbites that quickly spread far and wide, but neither is entirely accurate.

Let’s take the photo of President Trump along with Saudi King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al-Saud and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi. The optics on this photo shoot are questionable to begin with and it’s difficult to understand what the president’s press team expected to come of it. Very shortly after it was published people on social media started suggesting it was some kind of Satanic ritual. In general, we deal with inquiries on a case by case basis, but when we see untruths taking hold in the public mindset we often need to make a broad statement of clarification. This is why, on Twitter, we commented that this was not a Satanic ritual. Our words are clear and direct, and yet what followed was several days of stories about how “even the Church of Satan wants nothing to do with Trump.” Of course our publicly accessible policy on politics makes it clear that as an organization we’d never take such a position, in this case many on the left couldn’t resist that narrative and ran with it unchecked.

A week later, images of Kathy Griffin holding what appeared to be President Trump’s bloody, severed head were published online by the photographer Tyler Shields. These were obviously intentionally confrontational images, and they received the expected shock and outrage from the public. And while there is a valid argument to be made that purposely adversarial comedy could be considered Satanic, we’re fairly certain that when people started calling the images Satanic, that isn’t what they meant. When conservative author Mike Cernovich likened Satanism to ISIS we felt the need to correct him. We asked him to keep us out of it, and he responded that this was a fair request. However after that he posted that we disavowed Kathy Griffin and his right leaning audience ran with the “even Satanists are disgusted by Kathy Griffin!” narrative. Of course that was inaccurate and easily debunked by some brief reading, but it seem facts play very little role here. Other press jumped on it as well and even stories that got most of the details correct still ran with outrageous and false headlines.

Our actual position is much less controversial—in both cases these people should be able to do whatever they want. Comedians should be able to make any joke no matter how tasteless, without concern for who will or won’t find it funny; Presidents should be able to fondle glowing orbs to their hearts’ content—and all should be prepared to deal with the consequences of those actions. They are playing to a global audience, so clearly reactions will vary from mild to extreme, from support to revulsion. As Satanists, we strongly advocate individual freedom of speech and personal responsibility. The two go hand-in-hand, but that doesn’t provide a lot of ammo for partisan attacks, so that story doesn’t get passed along in our highly factionalized society.

This is amusing to us, because within the span of a week both the left and the right took much glee in severing an imaginary alliance. In both cases, people were delighted to imagine that the object of their outrage was somehow associated with us, and because they had crossed some invisible line we were now distancing ourselves from them. They laughed at their targets. We laughed at them. After all, our philosophy goes beyond simple right/left dichotomies.

Some may ask why we even care? In 1967 our founder Anton LaVey noted on the Joe Pyne show that before the Church of Satan no one had come forth to defend the idea of Satan, to stand up for the adversarial position. The concept of Satan had been employed entirely by the righteous as a means to condemn others. Religious historians agree that there was no longstanding tradition of Satanism before LaVey codified and defined it in 1966. Since it’s foundation, Satanism has been an atheistic religion, purposely named to immediately weed out the reactionary people who make gut judgments on face value. Abrahamic religions, Christianity specifically, are built on a foundation of deity worship and often people brought up in those faiths have a hard time understanding anything outside of their narrow worldview. But in the same way that Hinduism isn’t the worship of Hindu, Buddhism isn’t the worship of Buddha, Taoism isn’t the worship of the Tao, Shinto isn’t the worship of Shins or Toes, Satanism isn’t the worship of Satan. It takes literally seconds of research to learn this, but as is typical of people holding an ideological hammer, everything they see looks like a nail.

So we keep watch, chime in when we can, and continue to find humor in others’ willful ignorance. We watch the pendulum swing back and forth over decades as fears wane or grow, causing people to either embrace freedom or throttle it in search of security. We keep our sense of humor honed for it is essential when dealing with our ongoing efforts towards understanding the behavior of the beast called man.

—Reverend Joel Ethan

Hollywood Gothique encounters ghosts of the old west at Nightmare in Whiting Woods, along with other spooks in Glendale.

Halloween in the Verdugos doesn’t have much of a ring to it. The region – which includes Glendale, Pasadena, La Cañada Flintridge, Altadena, and La Crescenta-Montrose – is home to several Halloween events, but it has yet to establish a unique haunt identity in the public consciousness, perhaps because Glendale’s proximity to Burbank makes the region seem like part of the more well known San Fernando Valley (even though much of Glendale is in the hills, not the valley). The Verdugos is home to Mountainview Mortuary and Cemetery (staging grounds for the Wicked Lit Halloween Theatre Festival) and Descanso Gardens (location for such colorful pumpkin festivals as Carved and Rise of the Jack O’Lanterns). The region also hosts numerous Halloween home haunts which are every bit as entertaining as, if somewhat less famous than, their San Fernando blood-brothers.

On October 31, 2019, Hollywood Gothique embarked on a Halloween Odyssey to the Verdugos, in order to explore several of these less heralded yard haunts: Nightmare in Whiting Woods, 1400 Halloween Display, Catastrophe Cabin, and others. Though it is too late to visit these haunted houses this year (some were open only on Halloween Night), this information may be a useful reference guide next season.

Verdugos Yard Haunts: The Nightmare in Whiting Woods (walk-through) 413 Whiting Woods, Glendale, 91028 2019 Schedule: Halloween Night, 6-11pm

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Located in the hills of Glendale, far north near the 210 Freeway, this one-night-only yard haunt has kept a low profile during its nearly two decades of operation (which began under the name Nightmare on Vista Court before moving to its current location). Nightmare on Whiting Woods is not on the annual So Cal Haunts list; there is no Facebook page, and the closest thing to an official website has not been updated since August 2013. Online visibility consists of photos exchanged among cast and crew on social media, plus an occasional YouTube video or crowdfunding campaign.

Regardless of staying out of the limelight, the Nightmare in Whiting Woods is extremely popular. On Halloween Night, the narrow, winding road below the haunt is crammed with cars; parking is at a premium; and throngs of costumed trick-or-treaters ascend a steep, narrow pathway up a hill to the property.

The official start time is 6pm, but this means only that sound effects begin to kick in one by one, like an overture building to a symphony of shudders. It is unlikely you will enter before 7pm; nevertheless, it is a good idea to arrive while daylight remains, in order to secure your place before the line spills from the pathway onto into the street below; otherwise, your wait time could exceed an hour.

Is The Nightmare on Whiting Woods worth the wait? Only if you enjoy a superlative walk-through on par with the best Halloween home haunts in Los Angeles.

Whiting Woods’ theme for Halloween 2019 was an old western ghost town. The experience was divided into four sections. First, the wait in line set the mood, taking visitors past a hillside festooned with skeletons, graves, and markers sporting groan-inducing joke names (“Upton Leftus”). Second, the walk-through began on a porch with an ax-wielding woman named Lizzie Borden, leading to the interior of a disreputable establishment, with with ghoulish saloon girls. Third, we emerged into the ghost town itself, where we encountered a variety of creepy characters, including scarecrows and restless corpses. Fourth, we entered an old gold mine, who darkness housed even more hungry ghouls.

Nightmare on Whiting Woods clearly has the square footage to accommodate a substantial haunt, and the different environments were all nicely done. The entire trek lasted about five minutes, but it seemed like more because the haunt contained so much: we expected a brief walk through a haunted saloon; the ghost town and the abandoned mine were unexpected bonus features. There were also some good special effects, including a bar girl turning into a skeleton right before our eyes.

Visitors were allowed to enter in small groups: whether you were front, back, or center, there was a monster available to target you. The scare strategy consisted of having multiple actors, sometimes augmented with mechanical effects, attacking simultaneously from different directions, shattering your comfort zone aggressively and repeatedly. The monsters wore masks or makeup, depending on how visible the lighting conditions made them; some were very impressive, such as the wooden cigar-store Indian that suddenly came to life. Best of all was an enormous skeletal horse, white bones aglow in black light, escaping its coral to trot menacingly in our direction.

Attending Nightmare in Whiting Woods presents difficulty: lines are long, and hours are short. Nevertheless, this is a must-see Halloween event – not quite as elaborate as Rotten Apple 907 or Beware the Dark Realm but easily on par with the other high end yard haunts, such as Murder House Productions.

Verdugos Yard Haunts: Happy Haunts 3552 Prospect Avenue, La Crescenta 2019 Schedule: October 5-31

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  Five minutes north of Nightmare on Whiting Woods was this family-friendly Halloween yard display, loaded with tombstons, artificial Jack O’Lanterns, and inflatable figures of Jack Skellington, Frankenstein, and Yoda. The creepiest figure on view was the demented doll-faced character from Trick R Treat, but we’re sure Yoda could use the Force to keep him at bay, and the smiling ghosts and pumpkins were a welcome invitation to even the most timid trick-or-treaters. Favorite visual: a skeleton taking a bath with soapy “bubbles” lit from beneath the surface.

Verdugos Yard Haunts: 1400 Halloween Display 1400 Andenes Drive, Glendale 2019 Schedule: October 26-27 & Halloween Night, 7:30-10p

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About ten minutes south of Whiting Woods, the 1400 Halloween Display seems to have been a joint effort between father and son, both of whom arranged various decorations and effects on the expansive yard of a large corner house in the hills of Glendale, not too far from Opechee Haunt (more on which below). On Halloween Night, the static displays of mannequins, skeletons, and tombstones were enhanced with a few moving figures, including a pressure-activated jumping spider that sprung when we first set foot on the property. Even better was an imposing figure with a glowering Jack O’Lantern for a cranium, which glowed a hot orange color as he spasmodically thrashed about.

There was lots to see here but spread out over the ample acreage, leaving many possible escape routes, so candy-seekers had little reason to be scared, especially since there were no live monsters.

Much smaller in case, though perhaps slightly creepier, was an unnamed yard haunt across the street…

Verdugos Yard Haunts: Pennywise Haunt (yard display) Andenes Drive, Glendale

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This was a small display, but putting Pennywise on the balcony was a brilliant idea, giving the mechanical figure a platform from which to glower down on approaching candy-grabbers, his raspy voice echoing ominously through the night air. Well done!

Verdugos Yard Haunts: Opechee Haunt (haunted show) 1307 Opechee Way, Glendale 2019 Schedule: October 20, 25-27 & Halloween Night, 7-10p spookyscary.wixsite.com/opecheehaunt

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Less than a minute away from 1400 Halloween, the Opechee Haunt was dazzling audiences with its final show before going on indefinite hiatus. The presentation, Jack’s Halloween JamBOOree! 2, was not only a sequel to 2017’s JamBOOree! but also a continuation of their showcase at Midsummer Scream back in August. Guests in groups of twenty watched a 15 minute pre-show before being escorted to a viewing deck for the main event. Unlike the first JamBOOree! – which was open to viewing from anywhere on the street – this one was more private and intimate. The proprietor wanted to create a theatre-like atmosphere in order to surprises the audience without revealing all the magic, which included a mixed usage of animatronics, lighting, sound effects, and live actors to bring the show to life.

The finale provided a bittersweet moment when Jack and Gus, the main Jack O’Lantern characters bid farewell and adieu. For the general audience, it meant merely the end of the story. For those in the haunt community, it means something more permanent.

-Capsule Comment by Warren So

Verdugos Yard Haunts: Catastrophe Cabin (yard display) 1541 Garden Street, Glendale, 91201 2019 Schedule: Halloween Night, sundown-11pm

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Our next stop was considerably father west than the other Verdugos Haunts – about fifteen minutes on the Glendale and Ventura freeways.

Catastrophe Cabin is a yard haunt that does not feel like a yard – it’s too well disguised by its Halloween overlay. On Halloween Night, its display mimicked a walk-through experience. Bathed in eerie red light, the decor and foliage were so thick they created the illusion of entering a little Halloween world as we trekked up the driveway to a tent where we obtained treats and divination cards revealing mystical secrets about our inner nature. A second, equally packed pathway led to the front porch with a spooky photo op for trick-or-treaters courageous enough to brave masked monsters lurking behind densely arranged props and skeletons.

But that’s not all Garden Street in Glendale had to offer this October 31st. Next door to the left, we stumbled upon…

Verdugos Yard Haunts: Jurassic Island (yard display) Garden Street, Glendale, 91201

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As the name informs you, this yard haunt was home to creatures from the Mesozoic Era, resurrected through genetic engineering. John Williams’ memorable theme music from Jurassic Park filled the air as we approached the treat bowl, which was surrounded by various fierce reptiles, both prehistoric and mythical. Since these were mostly in the form of balloons, they were not too intimidating for youngsters, though a couple of detailed rubber heads were considerably more convincing. With no animatronic dinosaurs, Jurassic Island was more a neighborhood trick-or-treat stop than a travel destination, but it was definitely worth a detour on the way to Catastrophe Cabin.

Bonus points for recreating a famous moment in the film by hanging a toy jeep from a tree.

The Verdugos is also home to Forgotten Hallows in Pasadena and the Garden Path of Doom in Altadena, two yard haunts we did not visit this season.

Photographs by Yuki Tanaka and Warren So.

2019 Halloween Yard Haunts: The Verdugos Hollywood Gothique encounters ghosts of the old west at Nightmare in Whiting Woods, along with other spooks in Glendale.

Day 28: “Caveat Emptor”

Day 28 of the 30 Day Star Wars OC Challenge from @smuggler-captain that I’m doing with @lessdenied! Previous posts are tagged with #30dayswchallenge.

Today’s topic: Her ship!

“Sorry I’m late,” Teh’laen called cheerily as she sauntered into the hangar and up to the group clustered around the prow of the Yimeh’Dizoh. Essix paused just inside the door, then circled off around the perimeter of the hangar wall.  She grinned broadly—too broadly for simple friendliness, more like barely-contained mirth at a private joke that no one else got.

Neither the handful of Nikto pirates nor the Cathar shared her amusement. The Nikto looked confused and disgruntled, or rather, more so than their features normally conveyed. The Cathar, on the other hand…

Under better circumstances, the Lethan would have found the feline humanoid’s emerald eyes and snowy-white fur, dotted with grey-ringed black spots like overly-enthusiastic freckles quite the alluring combination. The way abject terror widened his vertically-slitted pupils to perfect circles ruined the effect, though.

“Please, don’t let me interrupt. What was it you were asking my partner?”

The leader of the pirate delegation narrowed his eyes, but repeated the question to the Twi’lek. “We ask if ship have name.”

“As the proud new owners,” the Cathar answered hurriedly, watching the Lethan as she strolled past to run her fingers lightly over the freighter’s ventral hull plating, “you can of course rename the vessel howev—”

“She called him the Yimeh’Dizoh,” Teh’laen interjected offhandedly. She raised her voice subtly, but kept her tone even, as she spoke over the con artist. Amethyst eyes didn’t bother to look at her audience, instead focusing on the divot a micro-meteorite strike had left in the durasteel plating. “It’s a self-deprecating joke in Ryl, see. It translates roughly to ‘someone who thinks they’re sneakier than they really are.’

“Like a cat,” she continued casually, turning to lock eyes with the felinoid, “hiding under a rug, who doesn’t realize his ass is hanging out in the wind.”

The Nikto’s gravelly irritation drowned out the would-be fraudster’s audible gulp. “Don’t want history. Want ship with…” He trailed off, too impatient to search his brain for the word in Basic, instead opting to slam his clenched fist into the palm of his other hand with a meaty thwak.

Teh’laen grinned toothily and patted the XS Freighter’s hull affectionately. “He’s definitely got that. Ventral and dorsal dual laser cannons,” she pointed to the belly turret, “cover a complete hemisphere and can be operated independently or slaved to the cockpit’s targeting system. Forward-arc quad lasers and paired ion cannons. He’s got a pair of missile tubes; right now they’re loaded with ion torpedoes, perfect for disabling your target without damaging their cargo. And, of course, the crown jewel of the Yimeh’Dizoh’s armament…”

Teh ducked out from beneath the ship and pointed into the gaping maw of a weapon barrel more than a meter across. “A capital-grade turbolaser. The power systems and reactor have been completely overhauled to support the drain. It’s gonna halve your engine speed and shield strength while the capacitors charge, but…” She gave a “what can ya do?” shrug. “That’s the price of doing business when you’re packing the kind of firepower that makes planetary governments feel uneasy, envious and deeply… inadequate… all at the same time.”

The buyers listened intently as one of their number translated, then broke out into excited whispers. Teh’laen waited patiently until she had their undivided attention again before continuing her spiel. “Weapons, engines and maneuverability are all top of their class. The trade-off’s in shields, armor and hauling capacity; an entire cargo bay had to be taken out to accommodate the turbolaser and its support systems.  Survival’s gonna depend on not getting hit. An amateur’s gonna get vaped in no time, but a real pilot? She’ll make him dance.

“And as soon as you’ve transmitted payment,” Teh crossed her arms over her chest, “he’s all yours.”

The pirate leader snarled and all his men dropped hands to their blasters. “We pay Bisso already! Ship ours!”

The Lethan’s flicked to the Cathar—Bisso, she supposed—and looked him over appraisingly. After a second and a half, the corner of her mouth ticked up in an appreciative grin. “Not bad! Getting pirates to pay for merch sight-unseen is impressive. Your mistake, though, was in not getting paid and getting out before the real owner came looking for her stuff.”

Bisso wilted under her stare; he opened his mouth, but indignant shouting and blaster-waving drowned him out. “We owners now! Tailhead don’t steal from Rotworms!”

You have got to be kidding.

Deciding that their choice in team loyalties was perhaps not the greatest of their sins—though it’s certainly up there—Teh shrugged and pointed at the Cathar. “Technically, he stole from you. I’m just stealing back what’s mine,” she pointed out reasonably.

More shouting, more waving of blasters. A weary sigh slipped between scarlet lips. This time, Teh didn’t wait for an opening in the cacophony. “I should probably point out that the electronic warfare suite’s state of the art, too: comm jammers, sensor baffles, targeting scramblers—the works. And, if you’ve got a droid with a top-flight, military-grade slicing module like Essix here…”

Teh’laen did a quarter-turn and jerked her thumb at the droid, hovering on his repulsors just above the cockpit.

“…Practically all the systems can be activated remotely.”

The ventral turret spun around and the paired laser cannons—sufficiently powerful to reduce starfighters to their component atoms—centered squarely on the lead pirate’s chest.

The clatter of blasters hitting the permacrete deck echoed in the hangar. The shouting changed timber and pitch as the Niktos scrambled for the exit.

The pirate leader paused in the doorway and whirled to hurl an ill-advised parting threat. “No one steal from Rotworms! Rotworms don’t forget, tailrat dead!”

Twin bolts of hard light converged on his chest.

Bisso jumped a full meter in the air, fur standing on end. “You—you killed him!”

Teh’laen simply shrugged. It might’ve been unnecessary, but Essix was of protective of her as she was of him. She also strongly suspected that he was unusually bloodthirsty for an astromech droid, but so long as he directed it at people who objectively deserved to be reduced to slowly dispersing clouds of ash, she wasn’t going to lose sleep over it.

“Technically, Essix killed him. And besides—they’re pirates who name their gang after a huttball team, and they pick the Rotworms? It’s practically a public-service murder.” Bisso did not look at all mollified and she shrugged. “You really sure you wanna worry about what I did to them? If I were you, I’d be freaking out about what I’m gonna do to you.”

The Lethan drew her blaster pistol and the Cathar tensed, his eyes flicking between the weapon she kept pointed at the deck and the anti-ship laser cannons centered on his forehead.

The only—living—pirate still in the hangar gave a put-upon sigh and took a couple of steps under the Yimeh’Dizoh’s belly. She sank down to sit on one of the freighter’s landing skids, her blaster resting on her knee and pointed lazily in the direction of the Cathar con artist who’d—successfully—sold her ship to a gang of amateur pirates.

“I gotta be honest with ya here, Bisso. I’m pissed off. Pissed off enough that I’m considering strapping you to the outside of the hull and burning for orbit. With an oxygen mask on, because I don’t want you to pass out before the decompression starts doing some really unpleasant things to you. That’s how mad it makes me when somebody tries to steal my baby.”

Bisso shifted his weight subtly, one foot slipping behind the other. Before he could spin and make a run for it, Essix warbled at him, low and menacing.

“He says, ‘do it,’” Teh translated helpfully. “I wouldn’t, though, because I haven’t finished.

“There’s a part of me that wants to kill you, Bisso. Like, really badly. But, despite tooling around the Galaxy with that little sociopath of an astromech, I’m not really a violent person per se. See, I’m a thief, same as you. A better one, obviously, because, well, I’m on this side of the laser cannons. But one professional to another, I’ve got a certain admiration for a bold con, well-executed, even if you made some pretty amateur mistakes.”

Emerald eyes narrowed and searched hers. The Cathar relaxed—somewhat—as he turned his mind to listening instead of escaping.

“As a matter of professional courtesy, I’m gonna let you leave on your feet instead of feet-first. Which I think you’ll agree is more than fair, right?” She paused, and he nodded hesitantly after a moment when it became clear the question wasn’t rhetorical. “But I'm feeling uncharacteristically magnanimous, so I'll do you one better: You hand over the creds they paid you for my ship, and I'll let you keep a ten-percent finder's fee.”

He opened his mouth to protest, or perhaps to negotiate, and she cut him off with a chilly smile. “Careful, Bisso. I’m in a good mood. Do you really want to change that?”

The Cathar shook his head slowly and slipped a credit stick from the satchel hanging just above his hip. He tossed it to her and she glanced at it, then transferred back the promised cut. Teh’laen stood up, her smile warming and broadening as she holstered her blaster.

“Pleasure doing business with ya.”

@oliviadevereux​

Narrow was the stream of smoke sent colliding against a notably thick slab of glass before dissipating into nothingness, the noxious exhale one a nearly endless flow since Alyona had elected to plant herself in the somewhat secluded changing room. Seated in the far corner atop a cross piece of wood, back braced against the cold cement of the wall behind her, an opaque haze of smoke lingering at the height of the row of hooks positioned above her head. The expression on her face was one of invested contemplation, eyes fixated on the white crescent shining brightly against the darkness of the sky outside. When she’d arrived it had been to the far left, now it hovered closer to the right; a short breadth away from disappearing entirely behind the silhouette of a treetop. Lowering her occupied hand to hip, she gently tapped the thin cylinder against the edge of her seat. Bright orange bits of ember floated down to the ground to join the ash already accumulating atop colorful tile, as well as evidence of the two other tobacco sticks exhausted just minutes earlier. Nursing her third, once it had burned down to the filter, she’d decided to take it as her cue to mobilize. See if anyone else had decided not to spend the light locked and paranoia-ridden in their rooms. Much was currently occupying Alyona’s headspace. Perhaps the least important, though most often flung to the forefront, was the thought that not a single resident knew how to carpe diem properly. Having refused to be the first to commit the first strike, taking advantage of the unassuming position she occupied on people’s radar while she could, she hadn’t expected a couple days worth of inactivity to pass. It felt far longer. Time seemed to be rolling around slower as of late, the lack of a time-keeping devices in her possession serving to only further disorientate. The only marker that progression of any sort had happened was the grating effect it all had against her resolve. Anything said in her vicinity pre-ambled with something to the effect of ‘this must be a joke’ was beginning to physically inflict pain upon her; optical nerve aching after several hours spent resisting the ever-present urge to roll them. Frankly, it was a miracle no one was hopeless and helpless enough to have offed themselves already. At least then there’d be the prospect of claiming another’s better weapon.  The thought of that stupid box --- sulkily abandoned in time-out fashion beneath her bedsprings --- necessitated a stronger inhale of smoke. To put it mildy, she was furious with what she’d received. She knew how to use it --- had used one several times before in circumstances that competed with the one she was currently in --- but it was by far her go-to. If she’d been hard-pressed to count off her top 10 tools of defence, it definitely wouldn’t have make the cut. It was ineffective and messy. Not at all something to go the whole nine yards with. A weapon for torture, not murder. Unfortunately she hadn’t yet had any success on the eavesdropping or witnessing front in finding someone with something more appealing. The others were surprisingly sensible in keeping their assigned lethal object under wraps, though she suspected it was because most seemed incapable of keeping words of complaint or fret out of their damn mouths than the divine intervention of mindful adaptability. She’d bet no longer than a week would come to pass before someone lost their cool entirely or a glance was misread as malicious and shots were fired. The time span seemed generous, as far as she was concerned. A familiar conflagration flooded throughout her veins at the idea; an itch to meddle with that which hung in the balance of no man’s land. The whole point of putting herself forth for this Big Brother meets Psycho arrangement was for entertainment purposes, after all. If no one overtly displayed or invited any moves of interest, she’d be forced to shed her veil of pretend and go through the motions herself. As usual. Which, for diversity’s sake, made it the most boring part to play by far. She’d interfered with the innocent before, but, much like her assigned weapon, it was not her favorite route to travel. The attitudes of the meek when put under the pressure of desperation were too often headache-inducing. It made the rare desire of getting it over with quickly prioritized, the potential fun to be had over an extended period of a leisurely explored execution dishearteningly shortened by a considerable amount. The utmost disappointing narrative of all the ones in circulation, but thankfully quite uncommon in those she’d encountered in recent years. Those with targets on their back and millions left to spend tended to put up a delicious fight. The connections she’d made with the housemate’s she’d bothered speaking to were civil, at best. Most the exchanges had been initiated with complete detachment on Alyona’s part, enigmatically rotating through a kaleidoscope of identities to match the sepia tones around her. Suffice to say, judging by her experience thus far, she wasn’t opposed to injuring at least three quarters of them without provocation --- but, then again, the same could be said about any public space she ventured into. However, quite surprisingly, nestled in between uninspiring John Doe and Jane Doe, there were a handful of exceptions she felt compelled to pursue for the very fact they didn’t boast a neon sign blinking with predictability over their heads. But majority ruled, and until further contact was made with the 1%, her independence was very much still intact. Skirting around Mason had proved quite the task, over talkative and engaging as he was. Amicable and supportive sounding as their first meeting had been, she was hesitant to rush into tainting it if ( when ) he saw how she was handling the news. Living in close quarters with him would make any facade placed over her budding eagerness and excitement too troublesome to upkeep over an extended period. Part of her knew it wasn’t smart to ghost away from any space he was in when there was a potential alliance to form there. Or, hell, maybe it already existed thanks to the roommates situation and her lack of direct acknowledgement was the only thing that risked tarnishing it. She hadn’t been present for long enough to confirm or deny either option with words. Upholding an air of mystery around him may have been what she’d foolishly sworn not to do, but she was no stranger to breaking her own terms and conditions on short notice. For surely candidly admitting to a past ( arguably present ) career that was hard to frame in a way that sounded anything but the confessions of a serial killer would likely earn her a two-part knee jerk reaction: distrust, then self defence. Hard to imagine he was the type to exhibit the latter, but --- as with almost everyone on the continent --- he was far larger than her and easily had the advantage even if he severely lacked violent intent and practice. Though, in truth, her speculated roommate dilemma had far less influence over why she found herself where she was.  The concept that people were actually tucked away clocking a peaceful 8 hours of sleep was borderline laughable. Yet, no matter how frequently the two doorways leading out of the changing room, to the hall and shower room respectively, were checked on in her peripheral vision for signs of movement, company of any kind had so far evaded her. The absence of such came with a richly contradictory list of pros and cons. If the solo trip of self-inflicted exile to the island that was the privacy of a changing room past midnight was any indicator, sleep was doubtless a none existent obligation on her agenda. But that was a habitual constant more than it had anything to do with feelings elicited by the game in progress --- of which she possessed very little, if she could help it. The initial rush of exhilaration knowing the show’s broad objective had inspired hadn’t taken long to subside into dormancy when she discovered how discouragingly vanilla and moralistic the majority of the house appeared. Thankfully, in a group comprised of thirty, statistics said there had to be at least a few others willing to stoop down to her level of hazardous ideals. Willing to entertain or be an object of her entertainment. She didn’t care what opinion the audience out there held of her. Admittedly, she found herself selectively forgetting everything was being filmed unless someone brought explicit attention to it, too preoccupied thinking about her own needs. The desire to be stripped to the bone of boredom and over thinking --- the very reason she’d impulsively signed up in the first place. Dwindling cigarette lodged delicately between pursed lips, she let it precariously hang there unheld by her fingers, hands falling to her lap as she leaned slightly forward to catch a look of the last visible sliver of moonlight, illumination on the verge of being prematurely obstructed by the wispy outskirts of an oncoming storm cloud.

You know the concept of “narrowcasting”?  Where you target your content to a tiny tiny audience?  Welcome to a very narrow cast version of Sunday posts!  Just for those of you who are both Indian film megafans, and Golden Girls fans! (also, unrelated, don’t forget to vote for the next tweetalong/watchalong movie on Friday’s post!)

For those of you who are still reading this, I will start by giving the main theoretical underpinnings for my concept of a Golden Girls feature film, and then 3 separate casting options because I just couldn’t decide!

Firstly, as I see The Golden Girls, each of the main four characters have different times in their life when they truly felt their best, when everything was perfect.  I think this is one of the best parts of how the show presents end of life, because most people do have those times at some point.  And when you are in your 50s/60s, those times are usually behind you.  And all you can do is refer back to them in stories and try to remind the people around you of what you once were.

For Rose, it was her childhood, they even give a little backstory to explain it with her early years in the orphanage, that just served to make the later years of her childhood after her family adopted her that much sweeter.  And she has never quite lost that adorable childish side of her.

  For Blanche, it was her young adulthood.  It’s established that her childhood was not that happy, she never felt as loved as her siblings or like she belonged anywhere.  But once she hit puberty and started attracting and being attracted to boys, everything fell into place.  And she had all the love and support she always wanted.  Which is why she has never quite lost that wild teenage girl feel to her.

  For Sophia, I think it is now.  Notice most of her stories of the past are made up.  She has no interest in her “real” past, she would rather live in the moment when she can be as rude and wild and irresponsible as she wants.

But for Dorothy, that time still hasn’t come.  She was an awkward child, she lost her young womanhood in marriage and kids, and now she is in late middle age, still unloved and lonely and trying to find her place.

  And therefore, my Hindi movie version will have Dorothy as the main character, as she tries to find her happy ending!  With Rose and Blanche and Sophia in supporting roles with their own little b-stories.  And all of this based firmly on real episodes of the show.

Blanche’s b-story first, because it is the simplest.  Blanche isn’t really about deep emotions and inner conflict, she’s there to give amazing one-liners and physical comedy.  And, in the Hindi version, obviously a sexy item song.  I want to do just a quick variation on the season 1 episode 9 story “Blanche and The Younger Man”.  As in the original, she will be asked out by a much younger man (let’s make him her dance instructor so we can have a steamy dance number).  She wears herself out getting ready for the date, and when it finally happens, she learns in the middle of dinner that he just wanted to spend time with her because she reminds him of his mother.

But, in my Hindi version, after her date leaves, the maitre’d/restaurant owner comes over and asks her out, because he is so struck by her beauty.  And while he isn’t quite as young as the original date, he is still a good 5-10 years younger than her.

  Rose’s b-story, I want to use a few of her interactions with Miles.  Their first meeting of course, at a community dance in episode 6, season 5 “Dancing in the Dark”.  They love to dance together, but she thinks he is too intelligent and sophisticated to be interested in her.  She embarrasses herself at a faculty party with his university colleagues and feels like he has more in common with Dorothy when they spend time as a group.  But, in the end, he convinces her that her beauty and sweetness and special Rose-ness is all he wants.

That can be the beginning of her story, but I want to add on a couple of bits in the middle, just so we see Rose again.  Maybe something with the episode where she gets sick of how cheap he is and goes out on a double date with Blanche just so she can go to a nice restaurant, and then Miles catches her and they end up talking it out?  I like all the cheapness jokes in that one.  Or else the one where Rose feels like Miles has become boring and they go skydiving at the end.

  And as usual, Sofia doesn’t get an actual story, she just hangs around and makes wise-cracks about everyone else’s stories.  And then gives words of wisdom at the very very end.

  Now, Dorothy’s story is the complicated one!  I am going to combine 4 separate episodes and 3 separate storylines to give her the ending she deserves.

First, there is season 1 episode 14 “That Was No Lady”.  Dorothy is passionately in love for the first time in her life.  She’s never felt like this before.  She and a fellow teacher are sneaking out for long lunches and meeting in hotel rooms in the middle of the day.  But then she finds out he is married and won’t leave his wife for the sake of the kids.  At first she continues the affair because she loves him too much.  But in the end, she realizes she doesn’t like what she has become.

Now, as I picture it, Dorothy in my Indian film version goes through this romance pretty quickly and early.  And Rose’s first meeting with Miles is scattered into the middle of it. And then Dorothy’s first story is over and she returns to form as a somewhat acerbic and entertainingly unhappy person.  At which point, she gets a call out of the blue from her ex-husband, the man who ruined her life, Stanley.

And now we go into the two part “There Goes the Bride” from season 6.  Stanley has returned, and he is different.  Considerate and mature and caring.  But still the man she was married to for 38 years as well, familiar and safe.  She agrees to marry him.  Only on the day of the wedding, he asks her to sign a prenup, showing that he still doesn’t appreciate her and everything she does for him.  INTERVAL

Post interval, we have Blanche’s little filler story with the younger man while people get popcorn and find their seats again.  And then we go straight into a Dorothy story by a back way.  It seems like a continuation of Blanche, she is all excited about her new lover and doesn’t want to entertain her uncle who is coming into town, her father’s youngest brother.  So she tricks him into going out with Dorothy and they have a terrible time together.  Until they decide to play a trick on Blanche and pretend to be in love just to mess with her!  And then in the end, they really do fall in love of course.  But when they tell the news to Blanche, she refuses to accept the relationship, Dorothy is just too different to fit into her family, and to marry her uncle and become her step-aunt.  Her uncle is willing to live with her objections, but Dorothy can’t go against her friend, even if it means breaking her own heart.

Which brings us to “Cheaters” (season 5 episode 22) in which the married lover returns!  This seems like her happy ending, the first man she ever really fell in love with is now free and wants to marry her.  It’s all perfect!  Except that wise Sofia keeps giving him a hard time, and Rose and Blanche aren’t really sure either.  And then my little twist on the plot, in the end Blanche tells her that she is too good for him, she deserves a man who isn’t just marrying the first woman who comes along because he doesn’t want to be single after a divorce.  And while talking, Blanche realizes that Dorothy is wonderful like that and she was blind not to see it!  And rushes out to call her uncle and have him fly down and propose again.

And finally, Dorothy gets her happily ever after!  Married to a wealthy important man who adores her, about to start a new wonderful life, leaving her friends behind her.  And, of course, Rose and Miles and Blanche and her new beau are at the wedding too, and Sofia even gets a vision of her dead Sal in the big wedding dance number (think “Bole Chudiyan”).

(In my version, Dorothy’s wedding dress is considerably less hideous)

Beyond the general plot tweaks, it would clearly be set in Goa instead of Miami.  Rose would be from rural Tamil Nadu instead of rural Wisconsin.  Sofia would be a Punjabi partition refugee instead of an Italian immigrant, and Dorothy would have grown up in Delhi instead of New York.  And Blanche would be..what?  A local Christian Goan, I guess!

So, obviously, this is the perfect movie.  But who to cast?!?!?!?!?  I have been over and over this, and I am still not happy with all my choices.  And I had to come up with multiple casting configurations to make it all work (oh, and remember Estelle Getty was the same age as the others just wearing make-up!  So all 4 actresses should be the same generation):

Really really old classic 60s-70s actresses cast:

Blanche: Saira Banu

(I feel strongly that Blanche has to be played by an actress that was truly stunningly beautiful in her youth, just like Rue McClanahan was)

Rose: Waheeda Rahman

(Southern, sweet face)

Dorothy: Sharmila Tagore

(Confident, powerful personality)

Sofia: Helen

(So cute!)

Blanche’s younger man: Shahrukh

Blanche’s slightly younger man: Jackie Shroff

Miles: Dharmendra

Dorothy’s Married Boyfriend: Prem Chopra

(Obviously, he’s always the bad guy)

Dorothy’s ex: Amitabh

Dorothy’s final husband: Dilip Kumar

(Look how good they looked together!  Also, I’m pretending he doesn’t have severe dementia and can still act for this casting)

Sofia’s Sal in a vision: Salim Khan, obviously

  Kind of old 80s era cast:

Blanche: Shabana Azmi

(Remember, has to be stunningly beautiful in her youth!)

Rose: Sridevi

(Obviously she also fulfills the “stunningly beautiful” Blanche requirement, but Rose is a much harder role.  You need to be able to play silly-but-lovable, which Sridevi is particularly good at)

Dorothy: Ratna Pathak (so excited for her to get a leading romantic role!)

Sofia: Kirron Kher

Blanche’s younger man: Hrithik

Blanche’s slightly younger man: Shahrukh

Miles: Amitabh!  He is the perfect impressive professor type!

Dorothy’s married boyfriend: Naseeruddin Shah. I know, you think he would be the husband, but I think he can pull off charming but weak better than anyone else.

Dorothy’s ex-husband: Boman Irani. Perfect as a the lovable yutz!

(I don’t know what’s happening in this photo but I love it)

Dorothy’s final husband: Jackie Shroff. The perfect man, always.

Sofia’s Sal in a vision: Anupum Kher, of course.

  Really too young for these roles 90s edition:

Blanche: Madhuri

(Just in case we needed proof that she was stunningly beautiful as a young woman)

Rose: Juhi Chawla

Dorothy: Dimple Kapadia

(I know she seems older than the others, but she isn’t really.  Was just launched a lot younger)

Sofia: Rani Mukherjee (picture like in Dil Bole Hadippa.  Heavy make-up just frees something insane inside of her!)

Blanche’s younger man: Tiger Shroff?  But really, who is too young for Madhuri?

(Most importantly, he can dance really well!  I want my Madhuri item numbers!)

Blanche’s slightly younger man: Ranbir Kapoor

(I fully believe that he would fund and produce this movie himself, if we gave him a chance to play opposite Madhuri)

Miles: Shahrukh!  I want to see him playing a glasses wearing professor

(Plus, he and Juhi always have a great time together)

Dorothy’s married boyfriend: Rishi Kapoor, clearly

Dorothy’s ex-husband: Boman Irani (still the perfect yutz)

(Maybe we give him a bad wig to help with the characterization?)

Dorothy’s final husband: Sunny Deol!  Or Jackie Shroff?  I can’t decide.

(Who seems better with her?)

  So, which cast is best?  Or would you mix and match between them?  And are there better options I missed for certain roles?

Silly Sunday Speculative Post: Golden Girls Edition! You know the concept of "narrowcasting"?  Where you target your content to a tiny tiny audience?  Welcome to a very narrow cast version of Sunday posts!  

9 Careers In Blogging

Careers In Blogging Your blogging goal is usually to consistently deliver compelling and informative content made up of answers to the problems of one's readers. Now that people read your posts, you'll want to provide it with an original voice as well. And it's not only because I want to receive linkbuilding using their company blogs. It's always great to find out business bloggers, and have valuable information off their blog commentators too. Participating in an interactive community is obviously beneficial. Creating your blog shop is regarded as among the best ways for starting up a company. Web based blog shop is how your site is going to be produced and also used by marketing any products which can be sold with a website. One of the great advantages of utilizing a web based blog shop is that it is simple and easy to use. Any individual, who's entering the market for initially will likely be able to utilize these blogs easily. Moreover, one dosen't require any web developing or designing skills for creating and utilizing a blogshop. After the development of your website shop, one is going to be able to add different pics and also information about it. As these option is quite simple, it does not even consumer high of one's time. There are also quite easy steps involved for keeping your blog post shop current. Before you go running off and opening your blog post on Blogger and other popular service, you should know that not all blogs are similar. There are two different benefits to your organization that blogging provides. The first is interacting on other blogs associated with that which you do. As entries and comments are posted, you offers feedback according to your professional knowledge. This helps you network on the global level as other users will consider you as a possible expert inside your field. If you have an established web business you can include another automobile to communicate your message and pass facts about to your clients. Because blogs repeatedly have new content they're indexed regularly from the search engines like google. It is another way to obtain your reputation plus your products out to the search website space. You may use your blog to aim towards extra keyphrases. (more info) It mostly depends on your audience. Think of people reading your site: how elderly they may be, what their occupation is, their hobbies, interests, languages, etc. That will help you much if you wish to add humor to your website article. Yes, sense of humor is very much appreciated with circus and soap operas. Even Dr. House cracks off jokes constantly - for this reason he could be a lot liked by men and women too, though. When internet web site owners devise your site design solution because of their online marketing schemes, they generally disregard a lesser known avenue for producing the type of results that bring enthusiastic visitors. Blogging on places for example MySpace, Facebook, and Craigslist provides a consistent stream of happy customers that you have specially targeted. The most popular and well-known blogging sites Wordpress and Blogger will obviously yield a large amount of prospective customers, but the chance of them being as focused because aforementioned clientele is not a forgone conclusion. Most statistical internet analyses points too blogging sections on MySpace, Facebook, and Craigslist contribute an infinitely more qualitative base of people to a uniquely targeted site. Paid blogging there are various websites on the net that pays you for what you are carrying out right now i.e. for blogging. These networks will ask you to definitely write content in your website for advertisers services they have. Some of famous advertising network are Payperpost ReviewMe Linkworth SponsoredReviews Smorty Text link advertising - text link adverting is amongst the best method to produce high amount of greenbacks coming from a website. In this kind of scheme, you will need to place the advertisers link in your website sidebar, header and footer. Advertisers look to find the best blogs within their niche and pay to those bloggers to set their ads on the blogs. Some of text link advertising companies are: Textlinkads TNX Direct Link ads Linkadage Textlinkbrokers Banner ads - there are several advertisers on the market today in the market which will pay you for showing their banners on the website/blogs. is the type of site which pays you for placing their advertisers banner on your own blog. PPC program - there are lots of ppc (ppc) programs available on the market today which shows ads according to your posts. To start creating wealth with all of these programs, you will have to create a merchant account with these and submit your blog/website there. Some of famous ppc programs are Google adsense Yahoo Publisher Network Bidvertiser Adbrite Chitika Product selling - and in case you've got a blog in connection with products or are going to sell products, then you can certainly use . Amazon will pay out for every sale that may be referred to it via your internet site. Private ads - you will get a lot of private ads if you are able to herald lots of organic traffic in your website. When you have that, lots of people is going to be happy to pay you for placing their ads on your website. The blog traffic your subscribers represent should be used not just for your helpful pointers they provide also for any extra blog traffic their referrals may generate. It is therefore critical to the health of your site to maintain your readers happy also to build your site as comfortable as is possible for the children. The question might be what else can you do in order to maintain the comfort and satisfaction of one's readers? Your content additionally ought to be participating which means your audience not just reveal your internet site via the various different social media networks but in addition abandon comments. This therefore besides helps with driving traffic for the website but additionally helps make your internet site far more credible therefore it helps the thought get short article really should be among 500-800 words. This also aids in SEO. Use images inside your internet site to separation this posts. Also consider adding in for a blog. Make confident somebody maintain your site in connection with your audience. Write about what are the future prospect want. There are lots of ways to generate profits via blogging. You could market online products, market the services you provide along with goods too. You must ensure your blog will likely be all to easy to find their way along with tons quickly. (more info) To others, the concept of blogging appears like this kind of delightful concept - being able to have your individual little space on cyberspace where you can discuss your feelings and ideas alike, and also to have the ability to connect to other bloggers for example yourself. Blog writing can be a easily way to market your products. Here are some blogging ideas to help you increase your blog writing.Stick to your niche. Try to keep the main objective of the blog as narrow as you can. It's about time that business organizations and brands awaken to the notion of the significance of websites and blogs or web journals. Many brands have included techniques like social media and blogging for marketing operations. The present information mill highly competitive with no business organization may wish to leave any page unturned within their book of selling strategies. So, optimal use of the Internet, the boon in the twenty-first century, should be stressed upon highly. The total amount of Internet surfers increased by 14% in 2010. Moreover, the Internet is one with the mass mediums where targeting a substantial audience is quite easy. Instead as the dot com bubble burst inside late 90's the web again became a wasteland of nerd experimentation these days the nerd seed was planted in folks who previously might have been turned off by every one of the science fiction along with the math. As the aughts progressed and the world wide web took over as hot bed of commerce folks always seemed to understand it might become another world grew as well as in a number of ways it absolutely was just an outgrowth products the web ended up being begin with. Those message boards were becoming your site. "The Blog" was becoming only the simplest part of Web 2.0. A world of "user generated content." No longer were people visiting the net to attend sites about things they wished to read about. Now they are intended those sites. The shock waves of the were felt rapidly and became compounded as new platforms particularly social networking sites (Friendster begat MySpace, MySpace begat Facebook etc.) made people more and more comfortable and even addicted to sharing themselves along with their opinions on the net. Your blog let you set some personality to your business. Too many sellers think they must try and create formal, over-long sales pages in order to convince visitors to buy their products. You might need paid a professional copywriter to write down an official website for you to try and increase sales. Blogging is a ton more casual and you may put your prospective customers confident by allowing them know you will find there's real person behind the business agenda. Your sales increase if your visitors understand somewhat about yourself as being a person. In the event an advanced trainspotter - stop urgently This part of the article is about the design of writing and general approach a great weblog author should have. As I have previously mentioned, every great blogger is interested in hot trends, today's news and everlasting questions, and not in yesterday garbage. Make sure you write in good English as well as your style isn't boring. If you operate a personal blog, you should use even slang words to acquire closer to readers. (more info) During the competition period from November 20, 2010 to January 31, 2011, each finalist use blog articles, photos, videos and also other social media marketing tools to express their daily experiences using the medical services obtainable in Thailand using a global audience. The goal is usually to inform readers about what can be obtained and persuade them to find out more on Thailand's top medical tourism destinations. There are many people who do blog just for fun yet it's also transforming into a extremely popular approach to earn an income online. The blogging company is really beginning to boom as it's a remarkably easy kind of company to have. Here are some tips that will assist you to get your blogging business up and running. My son prefers that I be in San Diego, so we're looking at some low-income living arrangements, but that still will not realistic since I'm still unemployed. I've been considering heading returning to Northern California where I was before since I feel my employment opportunity could possibly be better with past friends and best friend networking capabilities there. I'll be making my calls to evaluate those options out. I found out yesterday that the one who took my place of employment in Kansas City is looking for another job so I would certainly have a position available there. The main problem with these options could be the cost of traveling (gas). If you are experienced with helping seniors to conquer everyday challenges, or if you simply wish to be an origin of encouragement to aging people, by making a blog for seniors to share your thinking, you stand the chance of helping many seniors find productive and enjoyable approaches to fill their time each day every week. Creating an activity blog to offer senior citizens suggestions on group activities, activities for couples, and solo activities offers an on-going source of motivation and stimulation to people who are feeling omitted from society with a whole. Even though this alone should be sufficient cause to require to formulate an automated blog empire, the very fact with the matter is actually that you will discover further benefits which you'll obtain in that way. Every single automated blog which you build is essentially going to be a customers magnet and drive numerous viewers with it. These particular viewers are then channeled towards your moneymaking website - but there are additional items that you can employ this traffic for as well. (more info) Of course, it's not necessary to do this, there are also deals other ways. For instance, your local pet shop could have very good deals on grooming products. Petco and stores like it specifically sell commercial dog food and supplies, therefore it is a good bet that they will have grooming supplies so if you're lucky you may be able to find some deals. Blog posting serves two very important roles insofar as it's not just expected to attract new readers and also have them continually returning. All popular blogs have a very important factor in common which is they maintain the blog reader happy with fresh and frequent updates. This may seem like trying to be around the 'top of your game' 24/7 but there is actually a approach to handily maintain your blog entries interesting and fresh! Nobody said developing a successful blog was easy but it is also not as overwhelming as it can seem. The strange thing about us webmasters and bloggers is we mesh our reality with your online world. The friends we consult with everyday online become our best friends and we lose touch with simple items like going outside. With the loss comes hope since an experienced webmaster can reach a hundred thousand people in a month. This is where our power originates from to be able to talk with hundreds of thousands and grow recognized across the internet which means the globe. I personally may go to any continent in the entire world and knows someone very well. Personally I prefer having the ability to reach out and touch many people, but an important aspect of a fantastic blogger is but one who are able to obtain the balance relating to the online world and their down to earth. Work on this and you will be soon on your way success. Before you go running off and opening your blog on Blogger and other popular service, you need to understand that all blogs are similar. There are two different benefits to your organization that blogging can offer. The first is interacting on other blogs in connection with everything you do. As entries and surveys are posted, you can provide feedback determined by your professional knowledge. This helps you network over a global level as other users will consider you being an expert with your field. Search for templates on any search engines like Google and you may encounter many selections to pick from; this search is crucial due to the fact one thing prospective readers might find could be the general layout and appearance with the blog that desires to be inviting. Efficient Blogging and Make Money Blogging demand one to possess a template that either is associated to your topic or nature of weblog or is simply good-looking and classic. Possibly the key aspect necessary for a sustainably popular weblog is passion as well as the capability to translate the enthusiasm into words often. As soon as the readers see through your initial appear with all the blog, they are going to look at then written content hence; this item should be in the utmost priority. (more info) Till date, she holds many medal records. During the Afro-Asian Games in 2003, she won a Gold medal in Singles and doubles matches. She also won Gold inside the mixed doubles matches and her team won Gold as well. During the Asian games in 2006 in Doha, she won a Gold medal inside the mixed doubles match as well as silver within the Singles match. Her team won a Silver medal with this tournament. She won a Silver medal inside mixed doubles match in Guangzhou and Bronze medal in Singles match really. She won a Bronze in 2002 Busan Mixed Doubles matches. During the Commonwealth Games located in New Delhi this season, she won Silver medal inside the Singles match and Bronze medal inside Women's doubles match. Having your personal blog can indeed be thought of as demanding, however when you ponder over it, creating your individual blog is pretty uncomplicated. The point that makes things demanding could be the matter that you need to help make your blog seem intriguing for your followers and also to get them to popular with your viewers. This may require time and devotion certainly. To have a professional blog web site, it will have standout content. You should create many pieces to keep your blog refreshed over a continual basis. To support you in building your own blog, a few things enumerated below might be instrumental for your requirements. Websites are laboring to acquire good traffic and clicks on their site to get the top rankings. There are a few strategies to diverting website visitors to one's site but they're not successful each time and many times the ways used ventured into be illegal or fraud. Writing good content consequently will not guarantee a successful site. One needs to achieve the knack of getting genuine visitors who hold the interest to interact themselves reading the contents staying for some time within your site. First, I should preface this discussion by saying you need to significantly evaluate whether you wish to work at monetizing your blog post. Steve Pavlina carries a very thorough post that discusses what?s required to do this well, and why the majority of people who try find yourself not generating significant income. There are various free websites that may do your pinging to suit your needs however quite possibly the most well-liked must be and . Each accomplish exactly the same duties so solely select one which means you don't 'double ping' that the major engines like google usually do not like. It really is as simple as entering your site URL and name, checking each of the general pinging services and pressing go. Then your site will be broadcast to convey which you have just made some new posts understanding that people should take a look. (more info) You can also use blogging to create more links to other sites you own. While some will advocate starting a blog per product you create, you can even benefit with a single blog to advertise all of your products. By using sidebar, post footer and header ads, you can connect to several products and purchasers pages. In turn, this boosts the variety of back-links you will need to the sales pages, which can grow their website positioning. You'll also be upping your authority with sites such as technorati and alexa, which may be important if you happen to decide you want to sell your sites.

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8 Blogging Tips For Success

Blogging Tips For Success You might have in all probability heard right now you will want to ping your site but what exactly is pinging and exactly what does it do? Principally all pinging does is tell google you have just updated your blog post. And since the major search engines (and folks) choose to learn new and contemporary content material they're extra prone to have a wander over to your web site to determine what's new. This may imply not solely extra readers and guests for a weblog, but additionally you will get classified by search engines like google sooner (or anyway this is the speculation). One of the most crucial things that it's not necassary to forget during your blog advertising is search engine marketing. Besides, in case your blog just isn't visible by way of a search engine search, then you'll lose a substantial amount traffic. So as you might be creating blog article posts and so are making blog pages, be sure you utilize search engine optimization to the engines like google. Your content should contain relevant keywords exactly where necessary but don't drink too much because which could get you caught up in the keyword spamming net, making it possible to turn out getting your whole blog taken from Google's index. Blend in your keywords into your articles to make them seem like are put. You can choose alike words along with keyword phrases if you feel that there's a chance you're penalized for keyword stuffing. Your blog allow for you put some personality into the business. Too many sellers think they should attempt to create formal, over-long sales pages as a way to convince individuals to buy many. You might have paid a professional copywriter to create an elegant website that you should attempt to increase sales. Blogging is a whole lot more casual and you can put your visitors confident by letting them know you will find there's real person behind the organization agenda. Your sales increases if your prospective customers understand somewhat about yourself being a person. There are various free websites that could do your pinging for you however quite possibly the most well-liked has to be and . Each accomplish the identical duties so solely select one which means you don't 'double ping' that the major search engines like yahoo tend not to like. It really is as simple as entering your site URL and name, checking all the general pinging services and pressing go. Then your site will likely be broadcast to state that you have just made newer and more effective posts and that people should check it out. (more info) AT THIS JUNCTURE -- As you can see out of this little info already given this article is within some form or manner related to blog dewasa. It is not only related but can even be worthwhile when looking for information about blog software free, blogthings, disney cruise line cruise forums and blogs, frank. It's a really potent instrument that will assist promote your logo and interact with your customers. It's additionally quite easy to put together and manage.There are generally a variety of blogging and site-building websites you can use. WordPress is considered the most favored versions that is free. There are generally thousands of various connect you can on your web site to ensure it is operate better still regarding you. SEO switch on resources tend to be commonly available. Blogging can even be the best way to develop a checklist and become capable of communicate with your web visitors as well as clients. Most marketing via email tools are usually compatible, as an illustration Aweber is incredibly effective with most blogs such as WordPress. Make it easy for your audience to never simply prospect inside your optin's but in addition your web site insurance agencies RSS feeds. The blog traffic your subscribers represent is needed not just to the helpful suggestions they provide but in addition for any other blog traffic their referrals may generate. It is therefore critical for that health of your website and also hardwearing . readers happy and build your site as comfortable as is possible for the kids. The question might be what else are you able to do to conserve the comfort and satisfaction of the readers? These bloggers know how important keeping the best blog hosting their cash can buy truly is. They need their readers to get usage of their information laden threads always. This helps all these individuals achieve notoriety within their niche and will also keep their blog working for many years. This is why it is so important to possess a quality web host who are able to offer you things you need when you're noisy . stages of establishing your website and attaining a bunch. This can be a critical decision in the success of your blogging career as it were. (more info) It mostly depends upon your audience. Think of people reading your blog: how elderly these are, what their occupation is, their hobbies, interests, languages, etc. That will help you much in order to add humor to your website article. Yes, sense of humor is very much appreciated not only in circus and soap operas. Even Dr. House cracks off jokes constantly - this is why he is a great deal loved by men and women at the same time, though. You might have most probably heard at this point you'll want to ping your blog but what's pinging and exactly what does it do? Principally all pinging does is tell the various search engines that you have just updated your site. And since engines like google (and folks) want to learn new and contemporary information they're extra susceptible to please take a wander onto your web site to view what's new. This may imply not solely extra readers and guests for your weblog, but in addition you can find listed in the major search engines sooner (or at least this is the speculation). In the the past few years blogging has gained lots of popularity and more and much more people are adopting money blogs to earn their living. A fun and interesting approach to earn money, blogs are extremely interesting to write down and focus. However it is not as easy as it's as you requires doing a great deal of writing for it, so if you are somebody that is nice at maintaining and writing them then you should truly go ahead and take job a stride further and earn an excellent income from that. Whilst writing your site will be experiencing more popular then ever, specially as increasing numbers of everyone is studying the way to earn more off their blog. What is a many more difficult is definitely choosing excellent articles yet again and in addition again. The key to having a productive weblog can be to manage to provide price this means your audience return to your site once more along with again. You must be getting visitors or traffic in your blog post therefore by giving beneficial written content that is appealing for your niche will help you push traffic. Now it is time for it to narrow your list down a lot. Remove blog topics who have a lot of other blogs of the topic posted on the Internet. Too many blogs of the topic can thin out readers as there are many to pick from. Of the remaining topics you might have listed, look at the content that you will post regarding that topic. Pick a topic or two you are confident it is possible to consistently post content to and still provide readers with something new and fresh to learn on your own blog. (more info) Another type is quite unusual as in pay per post blogging you receive covered the amount of articles you are writing regarding an item. There are many companies available in the market who require the help of writers. Hence giving your services to will earn you money for every single post of yours. Some companies may give the writer a specific area of the income or they will often provide you with a flat price for each and every piece that you write. Blog posting serves two very important roles insofar as it's not only supposed to attract new website visitors and also you can keep them continually returning. All popular blogs have a very important factor in keeping and that's they keep the blog reader pleased with fresh and frequent updates. This may appear like wanting to be on the 'top of your respective game' 24/7 but there really is a approach to handily keep the blog entries intriquing, notable and fresh! Nobody said having a successful blog was easy however it is also not as overwhelming as it can seem. Grabbing your readers' attention is the most important element in online marketing and promotion. Most of the time great ideas are trashed out simply as a result of deficiency of smart presentation tactics. You have to first attract your potential client before they get to understand your merchandise and services better. Use the right words and specify them in a manner as to get a targeted audiences' attention. The blog traffic your subscribers represent is required not just for that helpful suggestions they feature also for any other blog traffic their referrals may generate. It is therefore critical for the health of your website to maintain your readers happy also to you could make your site as comfortable as you can on their behalf. The question now could be what else can you do in order to take care of the comfort and satisfaction of one's readers? Twelve finalists chosen from the entries will win an experience a person can have: an all-inclusive seven-day Medical Tourism Familiarization Trip in Thailand, which will occur from November 20-26, 2010. Some of them will travel to Phuket, Chiang Mai, Pattaya and Ko Samui, while others will explore Bangkok. The TAT will arrange additional sightseeing tours for finalists to enable them to have the attractions of Thailand being a medical tourism hub. (more info) Submitting your blog posts to social bookmarking sites like Reddit, Digg, StumbleUpon and Delicious is also something slowly change do. These sites can offer a serious boost in traffic eventhough it may well not seem like you are carrying out much. If you can provide quality content, sites for example Digg are known for establishing a lots of traffic. There are plenty of tools online that can automate the submission process with a quantity of social bookmarking sites simply, so that you must be with them. Your blogging goal is always to consistently deliver compelling and informative content which has answers to the difficulties of one's readers. Now that people read your site content, you have to provide a distinctive voice also. And it's not just because I want to receive backlinks off their blogs. It's always great to find out using their company bloggers, and get valuable information from other blog commentators too. Participating in an interactive community is obviously beneficial. Grabbing your readers' attention is a vital factor in internet promotion and promotion. Most of the time great ideas are trashed out simply on account of deficiency of smart presentation tactics. You have to first attract your potential client prior to to learn your products or services and services better. Use the right words and specify them in a manner as to get your targeted audiences' attention. This will obtain the Google spider to index your new sites or website pages within a few days and consider your internet site for its database given the criteria of the company's you are seeking a timely, inexpensive and efficient strategy to create a lot of content on your site, that the search engines will pick up, go to Blogger and open a free of charge blogging account and join the blogosphere.- The Love Affair between your Search Engines, Blogs and RSSI have been extolling the SEO benefits of Blogs since almost 2 yrs ago. Although blogs and search engines don't appear to relish the free for many romance they had, the search engines like yahoo and blogs manage to nevertheless be married 'for better and worst'.The romance and infatuation phase between search engines like google and blogs has waned because of blog spam. However search engines dare not divorce blogs given that they tend to cook regularly updated content.Blogs will also be internet search engine friendly in design. As publishers we like blogs because it is an easy way for people to update our sites with new content. This is a fantastic way to ensure more exposure to your blog facing a whole new audience and it is all free. Once they have visited your website, the standard readers of the blog in which you posted, may sign up for your site whenever they find that the knowledge you provide is interesting. Run a search in Google to get sites that are prepared to take guest posts. In case you want to acheive it a sizable scale, then try contacting prominent blogs and get them whenever they would accept a guest post from you. (more info) Blogs are fairly informal and so do not require you to be described as a writer to be a blogger. Bloggers often decide to blog as a way to share their interest over a particular subject or theme and simply get enjoyment in that way. Video blogging is the one other method in which people can blog without needing to write at all. Video bloggers just take the time it has to discuss their topic during the day, record it, and post it for their blog. Video is additionally used by text bloggers so that you can enhance a reader's experience. There are many people that do blog to keep things interesting yet it's also transforming into a very well liked method to earn an income online. The blogging company is really beginning boom because it is a remarkably easy the category of business to own. Here are some tips to assist you to get your blogging business ready to go. The strange thing about us webmasters and bloggers is we mesh our reality with your online world. The friends we consult with everyday online become our best friends and now we lose touch with simple things like going outside. With the loss comes hope since an experienced webmaster can reach 100 thousand people in just a month. This is where our power emanates from to be able to talk to thousands and grow well-known over the internet meaning the planet. I personally could go to the continent in the globe and know someone quite well. Personally I prefer having the ability to reach out and touch so many people, but a crucial facet of a great blogger is a who can find the balance involving the online world as well as their real world. Work on this and will also be on your way to success. The blog traffic your subscribers represent should be used not only for your helpful suggestions they provide also for any additional blog traffic their referrals may generate. It is therefore critical to the health of your blog post and also hardwearing . readers happy also to make your site as comfortable as you can for the kids. The question now's what else is it possible to do to conserve the comfort and satisfaction of your respective readers? Keeping your posts fresh is also a good way of accelerating traffic to your blogs. It means that you ought to be capable of post regularly. The more you post, the better chance you have to reach a wider various readers. That's because content is just about the most vital elements of the blogging process. The more content that you have, the greater visitors you will possess, because blog readers love content and are constantly trying to find fresh and new information and content. It's not until people can get regular posts that they'll have to come back to see what you've written next. (more info) AT THIS JUNCTURE -- As you can see from this little info already given this article is within some form or manner in connection with blog dewasa. It is not only related but can be also worthwhile when looking for details about blog software free, blogthings, disney cruise line cruise forums and blogs, frank.

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