Happy 10th Anniversary to what has become my favorite MMO I've ever played.

I went into why and when I started playing here, but I figured I'd go more in-depth on my characters (and why Ki'to is my main) in this post since it's finally Rising time again.

Warning, long ass rambling post ahead

As I had mentioned, I started playing in late 2020 when a couple friends I played D&D with introduced me to it.

At that time, I created my first character Suna Amantius (Whom I still have for nostalgia, but don't play). Since au ra were free to play at that time, I made her a pink raen Arcanist. Yes, back when carbies gave every arcanist heart palpitations because they used aoe without asking. Thus why it took me a long time to pick it back up again.

The very first screen I got in cc while making her. <3

We only played together a few times, but since I was so deep into Genshin, I ended up uninstalling since XIV's a massive space-hog.

When I picked it back up for the free 30 days after my other friend bought me the game & expacks, I ended up making a viera named Bunilla Chai over on Faerie since my little brother was playing over there at the time. She was a WHM, and another I have kept for nostalgia's sake. (I sadly don't have a screen for her, but she's cute. uwu)

I kinda main-hopped for a while after I got back into the game and actually subbed in September of '21. I played with Bunilla for a little while, but when the option to make male viera came out with EW, I ended up making one by the name of Kieran Vashanti (The surname being an homage to my old TERA character of the same name; Kieran actually went on to become Seire, and now Vikesh). I co-mained him alongside Orias, my longest-standing OC, who actually started out as an Elezen.

Kieran / Seire / Vikesh

Orias

How it started > where it went > where we are now

I also ended up making a lalafell since I saw how much fun my mother seemed to be having with her own. My dear little Sprout Arboris. <3

The best pic I have of her. xD

I rotated through this menagerie of mains for a while until I fanta'd and renamed Sprout. Her new name? Nox Vitae.

Yup. My horrible son was initially a sweet lalafell lady. xD Though he did go through one hell of a transition, from fem lala, to fem viera, to fem miqo, to masc viera (this was about when I had come out to my friends, so I embraced it in my main at the time as well. As such, he started out looking like a self-insert, but took on his own traits after a while. This is also why he is canonically trans ftm, as I see both viera transformations as canon for him. His fem form being what was canon in appearance for Vitae when he and U'nhea were sprouts)

(I did miss Sprout after a while though, so I remade her on Zalera later.)

Alongside Nox, who was my main for a while, I also had an alt on Siren I used to play with other friends, A'razi Tia. He was my first introduction to Monk, as well as catboys. To say I took maybe too many pictures admiring him is an understatement. Before Ki'to, he was my most gposed character. xD

We ended up moving data centers a little while after last rising, and then is when I created Y'rhala and Ki'to, whom I played as alts while I switched back to A'razi for most things.

Once I hit the CT ARs with Razi, my social anxiety got the best of me, and I decided to run an alt for a while and redo ARR. So I picked back up with Ki'to, whom I had made as a pretty ashen moon keeper simply to grab the moonfire outfit last year.

He wasn't meant to be more than an alt. Honestly, he looked like a fuckboy and it made me laugh when I logged him.

Look at this fuckin' nerd. I do miss his ashen kitty days, truth be told, but I can't fanta him now. He wouldn't look right any other way.

He looked like this until I reached post-ARR. I ended up using his ARR fanta to make him a self-insert, thus his baby-faced face 3 catboy era.

Thankfully, with the FC he joined, I ended up getting help powering through CT and finishing ARR fully. It was post-ARR that I got another fanta and gave him more defined features with face 4, and gave him the face he's known for today.

As I put it on my personal discord:

It wasn't too long after this that I made this blog and captured his adventures through HW and beyond. It was then that I committed to making him my main, as the story had sucked me in and he was my protagonist. I couldn't imagine any other in his place.

Though, the story isn't the only reason he's become my most robust OC ever, that came through story and interactions over here. I'm constantly thankful that I decided to make this blog when I did, because using it as an outlet for headcanons and getting asks from the friends I've made during his journey has made him such a well-rounded character with a clear personality and character arc.

I am very grateful for those of you I've met here, not only have you been some of the best people I've met through this game, but you've all helped to shape Ki'to in some small way. The man fights for love because he was made from love. <3

Hope you enjoyed my rambling about my journey, and happy Rising my friends! Here's to 10 more years! /toast

You were the best... 😢

I feel like for the first few years of guardianship Darius and Hunter really struggle to figure out how to refer to each other.

Like it's easier for Hunter, he pretty quickly settles on "guardian" for explaining their relationship to other people and just referring to Darius by name when talking to the man himself. Overtime the phrasing gradually warms, becoming "foster parent" and eventually, once Hunter's already an adult old enough to move out, "Dad".

(Sidenote: he doesn't move out til he's in his mid to late twenties, bc he's under no obligation too, Darius low-key doesn't want him too, and the two of them want to make up for lost time in a sense, since Hunter only had 2 years of legal dependency on Darius before aging out of the system. Darius adopts Hunter retroactively as an adult)

Darius on the other hand has a real conundrum on his hands for those first few years. He has a lot of options! But "ward" is too formal and makes it sound like Darius picked him up off the street like after his parents were murdered, "apprentice/student" isn't really accurate considering the focus of Darius and Hunter's relationship has less to do with Hunter learning magic and more to do with Hunter being housed and fed. "Kid" and "foster son" are there...but...

Look, Darius isn't going to refer to Hunter more familiarly than Hunter refers to him! He's not gonna make it WEIRD. He's not a dad, because Hunter doesn't want/need him to be (and also parenthood is scary <3). Darius doesn't know the first thing about being a dad, despite how his friend group teases him.

Eda and Eberwolf are the two who are worst about it. They torture him with how 'fatherly' he's allegedly being (allegations Darius will DENY til his GRAVE!!!) And Eda specifically compares his journey to hers, saying it always starts off with you referring to them as your apprentice (again, Darius doesn't plan on doing that), as your roommate (...kinda weird in Darius' opinion? But okay Eda), or even your pet (????HELLO???). But eventually, they always become your dumb kid when you least expect it.

She's had a couple cups of appleblood by this point, but Darius knows on some level she's right and he's steadfastly ignoring that fact, even as Eber continues to refer to Hunter as his "cub" (kinda cute but Darius doesn't know how Hunter would feel being compared to an animal). The only people who are even remotely reasonable about all this (besides Lilith who's a bit disinterested in kid talk) is Raine and Alador, who both sort of neutrally, a bit awkwardly refer to Hunter as Darius' Boy.

Darius referring to Hunter as "my boy" is funnily enough what sticks the longest before it evolves to son boy. Hunter's crushing it at a derby match? Darius is whooping and cheering, yelling "THAT'S MY BOY!!!" At the other parents in the stands. Hunter is doing something dangerous or inadvisable where others can see him? "Darius, your boy-" "AHH! MY BOY". Hunter, a year into his stay with Darius finally comes clean about everything to do with him being a grimwalker, and is afraid that he's going to go back to seeing him as just an inferior replacement for Darius' beloved mentor? Darius (who has just had to process some of the most bonkers, emotionally heavy information in his life) gently, hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder (the 'good' one Hunter doesn't mind people touching), and says that Hunter's much more than that. He's Darius' Boy and he's not going to kick him out or get angry or love him any less for things out of his control. It's good. They're good.

Like I said, it evolves over time and 'boy' becomes somewhat obsolete as the two get caught up in the joy of finally feeling able to explicitly refer to each other as family. But unlike "guardian" or "ward" the word never gets fully retired. Even when Hunter is 30 and is arguing that he's more of a man than a boy now, he is still getting referred to by Darius as "his boy", the way some parents never really stop calling their adult kids baby or kiddo (Camila and Eda respectively btw).

Hunter makes one of those corny matching shirt sets at some point for a father's Day gift when he's 17/18, where the two shirts say "if lost, return Boy to me" (Darius) and "I'm Boy" (Hunter). Hunter mostly did it so he could own a funny shirt that says "I'm boy". Darius openly weeps upon seeing them. Like Oh my Titan he's boy. He's my boy. Oh wow

tumblr says my blog has turned 3 years old. ✨ So I thought I'd celebrate by sharing 3 little things about me.

1) I am a Scorpio Sun.

That means I never forgive — anyone or anything.

Growing up in a tropical country, we had pineapple almost every day. For dessert or as a snack. I used to love it. A lot.

But one time when I was about 4 or 5, a pineapple slice made my tongue itch. I could still feel a slight prickle the next day.

Since then, I never had pineapple ever again. And I never will.

Scorpios and second chances don't mix.

2) I am a Taurus Rising.

That means I am loyal. To people, principles... and more.

When I was 11 years old, my brother gave me a bottle of Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue. I loved it.

So it's been my perfume ever since.

I've sampled many others after. From Acqua di Parma, Dior and Givenchy, to humbler ones like Victoria's Secret and Bath & Body. All of them paled in comparison to my one and only.

"Taurus" and "devotion" may have different spellings, but they have exactly the same meaning.

3) I am a Libra Moon.

That means I always go above and beyond, for me.

I once went to the doctor because I was getting nosebleeds. He said it was caused by the cold, dry weather at the time. He prescribed a humidifier.

Do you think I ordered a little one from Amazon to put on my bedside table?

No. I bought one from Dyson. A humidifier that disinfects every drop of water before it releases it into the air. Air... which has been purified, cooled, and distributed with 70% humidity in a 90° angle within my bedroom.

Yes, Libra is balanced. But who ever said balanced means basic?

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[ Third Vacation: Maxwell! ]

As part of my incessant need to mix things up, Maxwell won the Background Luck Roll (thank you, random.org) that earned him a special mini moment with Daniel! The two saw the sun glittering off the snow in the early morning and decided that it would be the perfect weather for a nice, relaxing stroll.

Part 4 of 7 🌹

@yikessims

My Dream Session with Spiffytickler

So I had the absolute honour of meeting and playing with the bondage master, *thee @spiffytickler.* I have been a huge fan of his work for years and dreamed of playing with him.. still so surreal that he’s a fan of me too and flew me out to torture me~. 

My biggest fantasies and desires are clit tickling, clit focused sessions- like David Mack (The Tickle Channel) style; the girls bound and spread open vulnerable, and have their clits tortured with feathers and toys, edged over and over, then forced to orgasm. My obsession with it is so bad that they are the only videos I get off too. I haven’t experienced play like that before and always dreamed of it. I would drive myself crazy and desperate just imagining what it would feel like to be in that position. Fortunately, Spiffy is very experienced with that style of play, and he’s vetted with references. An absolute dream come true to be spoiled to a pedicure and a Brazilian wax to have my body prepared, to be flown down, given my own hotel room, and then tortured just how I wanted to be.

I’ve never gotten a Brazilian before (but always had a desire to), I’ve never flown internationally alone before, and into a new state, and Spiffy would only be the second person to play with me naked. All new things I would be experiencing~. 

Also the night I flew into the San Francisco airport, the moon was full, big, and coloured orange; it was gorgeous~.  

After we check into my hotel room, I have a quick rinse in the shower, and Spiffy rubs and worships my feet as we negotiate boundaries, our sessions, what will be happening, and what to expect. He wants to explore me a little too.. I lay facedown on the bed as he starts with my feet and works his way up, his fingers uncovering my tickle spots. I eventually flip over onto my back for him to play with me more. We keep the play light this night as it was late, and we both had lots of preparation to do for the next day. 

On Saturday, I wait anxiously and patiently in my hotel room as Spiffy prepares for our session. I’m an early riser and had all the time to pamper and get myself ready to be tied naked and vulnerable in front of him. I knew I was going to be naked for the session and consented to that, I wanted that too- though nakedness, exposing your entire self is very intimate to me. Clay is the only person to play with me naked, Spiffy would only be second- I wanted to look great and feel confident naked in front of him. He offers that I can get delivery or room service to feed myself, but my stomach is so full of anxious butterflies it’s hard to eat. I do take advantage of the wonderful natural light coming in the big hotel window- I don’t usually get a hotel room all to myself; I took a lot of nudes and feet pics~. Spiffy finally picks me up and treats me to bubble tea. Back at his place, he has me relax on his couch to rub and worship my feet as we negotiate our sessions while chill lofi music plays in the background. I get a glimpse of the iconic bed where you get tied to and tortured- so surreal I was where it all happens! Saturday’s session would consist of me bound spread eagle, face up, tape gagged, blindfolded, and wearing earplugs. My safewords were through my hands, 1 finger on each hand being yellow, and 2 being red. The first part of the session would be basically a test, to explore my body, observe my reactions, make note of how I respond to this and that. All to prepare for the next part of the session; the *Torture Timer.* We negotiate here what I want and for how long. I believe I said I wanted 90 minutes of edging and denial, 20 minutes of forced orgasms, and 20-30 minutes of tickling. In this time frame, I would not be allowed to safeword. I bring up that while I’m so excited to be experiencing my biggest fantasies with him, a part of me is nervous that I’ll feel too overstimulated and can’t take it, or won’t react a certain way as I tend to tense up with new people (I’m a pretty anxious sub). Spiffy reassures me that he has a lot of experience with this type of play, and he knows every body is different and reactions will vary. He usually introduces this type of play with those who have never experienced it, and is happy to do so; he’s probably the best person to explore this with~. Also, the goal is to fulfill this fantasy of mine. While he is a Top Dom and likes to play sadistically, he is pleasure-focused and wants to give the sub what they want; he wants to fulfill these erotic fantasies to those who want it, and grants it in a safe setting. I wanted this, I wanted to play sensory deprived with no safeword, and he was granting me that.

I have a quick rinse in the shower and come out with just a towel wrapped around me. I cling to it as it would soon be coming off and he would see me raw. Spiffy has me stand at the end of the bed, facing it. With him standing right behind me, he darkens and dulls the lights, then strips the towel away from me. I appreciated how considerate he was here, to darken the room so I wouldn’t be self conscious. I’m instructed to lay face-down on the bed. He gives me a warm oil massage to soften and relax me. Some spots tickle as he goes over them with his hands. That alone, I already feel wetness between my legs, leaked onto the towel I laid on.

After a nice massage, he has me sit at the end of the bed to put a blindfold on me, and gives me earplugs to put in. Then he wraps tape around my head so everything is snug and in place. I’m then instructed to lay on the bed and get into position to finally be placed in the infamous Spiffy bondage. Once I’m all in, Spiffy puts a few pieces of tape over my mouth to gag me. It finally starts to set in- I’m in my favourite position, open, vulnerable just how I’ve dreamed, and unable to see, hear, or say anything; I am just a toy, a body to be tortured. It starts off with light tickles with his fingers over all my spots, learning my spots, seeing me squirm very little in his strict bondage. Then he sets the Torture Timer. I was finally experiencing what I have fantasized for years~! His fingers investigate and rub my clit- it’s embarrassing as now he’s the second person to touch me like that, but I can’t hide. He then teases my pussy with a single feather, slowly around it, and gradually towards it. The feather is already wet and cool from how wet I was. Then two different makeup brushes stoke over my clit, up and down. This is what I’ve always wanted~. As an anxious sub, I am really good at blocking out what is happening to me, as a part of me tries to deny it like I don’t deserve it. Like I feel too needy the Dom is only doing this for me and not enjoying it themselves. But the strokes were so soft and teasy, hitting sensitive parts on my clit that it would snap me back into the session.. and it wasn’t stopping.. just continuing at its own pace.. and I just had to lay there, open and forced to take it. *Swoon~* No matter how much I squirm and thrust away, the soft bristles don’t leave my clit alone. By surprise he presses the vibrating Eroscillator against my clit, up and down, pressing it into extra sensitive, overstimulating places that make me shift around. Then I hear a familiar, triggering hum- the Pursonic explores my body and uncovers more of my tickle spots to Spiffy, I can’t help it, it’s one of my favourite tools~. It was absolutely awful having it over my hips that were tightly bound down, there was no struggle or getting away. Something then slides into me.. (I am still exploring penetration with toys and body parts, I enjoy it and it feels good, but I definitely prefer external play and have way more experience with it).. the Lelo 2 finds its way inside of me, I make a noise in shock as I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s quickly adjusted into the most magical spot… my body immediately melts and gives into the sensation.. I feel pleasure just radiate from within my pelvis.. he has the toy placed in the perfect spot that helps bring me towards an edge.. then a strong vibration encapsulates my clit- the new toy sucks it up and captures me. I own a Satisfyer Pro 2- this was the Lora DiCarlo Baci, and I fell absolutely in love with it~. Now my clit was being pleasured from both ends, and it drove me wild. Vulnerable and wide open, only to have your most intimate, and sensitive spot focused on and forced to take it..~. My body heats up and trembles as I approach the edge, it feels so good~ I usually announce when I’m close so I don’t go over the edge. As I’m about to cum I attempt to talk through the gag for the first time to warn Spiffy I was about to, how I was trained to, but he ignores me, he ignores my panicked blabbering under the tape and I have my first forced orgasm. The tight straps keep me in place as immense pleasure surges through my body- I tremble and squirm against the restraints as the toys are kept on me. Then I’m subjected to tickles with fingers and the Pursonic, while I still come down from the first orgasm, and all my nerves are heightened. It remains this pattern; forcing orgasms out of me and tickling me in-between. I physically feel myself drop down into levels of subspace. On my fourth orgasm, the Lelo and Lora gang up on me again, and I squirt (more like gush) via someone else for the first time. I realize on my 5th one, I’m drenched with sweat and hot, I’m soaked between my legs.

Spiffy removes my gag and the session is over.. I was not done yet honestly.. but that could be my subspace talking, and we negotiated a time limit. Spiffy let’s me know I squirted twice, and that the session was 2 and a half hours. There was no way, it went by so fast.. too fast- to me it felt like 45 minutes. I was genuinely shocked. I just lay there as he frees me, zonked out, exhausted. I’m not sure what to really think but, I can’t believe I endured that.. did all of that.. with the SpiffyTickler. He kisses and plays with my feet as he tells me I did a good job. I just have to lay there as sitting up makes me dizzy, but we talk about the session, how we felt, and our favourite parts. He gives me back and foot rubs as we order sushi for delivery as that’s what I was craving. Then we watch the newest season of Rick and Morty as we eat it~. The night ends when he drops me off at the hotel I’m staying at- I’m excited to just crawl into bed and just pass out, the whole session and the sensations on repeat in my mind.. I craved more~.

(This is where I randomly took a 3 month break from writing this whoops sorry I’ll wrap it up)

Sunday would be dedicated to content-making and being bound in other infamous Spiffy positions. On my own in the morning I make a trip to Target for breakfast and snacks! Spiffy grabs me in the afternoon and treats me to Starbucks. Back at his place we negotiate what will be going on, including taking me back to the airport. As I’ve never been to California before, and I love sightseeing, Spiffy offers to take me on a scenic route to the airport, and even drive through San Francisco for me to see the Golden Gate Bridge, the Painted Ladies, and those iconic San Francisco houses. (I got a gorgeous sunset video of us crossing over the Golden Gate Bridge~)

The first position he puts me in is the facedown Y-position with my feet tightly secured together. Then I’m positioned face up and mummified-bound in straps, arms to my sides in arm-binders, with my feet stuck in stocks and toes secured back. This is the session I truly had no safeword as Spiffy put my hands in bondage mitts, my safeword signals were with my fingers. This is also the session where Spiffy used his mouth to give me mouth tickles and suck on my nipples.. h oly fuck his mouth and lips were so soft omg… I pretty much lost it when he sucked my nipples and played with my clit, but I had so little room to struggle and thrust. I get frustrated during this session as Spiffy teases and overstimulates me but I can’t edge or get close. I’m extremely picky about the positions I’m in, and can’t cum with my legs closed or close together (I probably can, I’m just spoiled lol). I whine enough through the tape gag that Spiffy takes it off me, and I tell him that I can cum if my legs are spread open. I am truly spoiled as Spiffy invents a brand new position out of his bondage just for me to be able to cum~. I’m in an upside-Y-position, my upper body still bound in straps, hands still in bondage mitts at my sides, but my legs were bound and spread open to the edges of the bed. He doesn’t re-tape my mouth, so I get to moan as loud as I want, all for him.. because of him. 

I have no idea how to end this.. though this was an incredible, wonderful, dreamy experience and opportunity.. I still can’t believe I actually met up with Spiffy and played with him and got put in all those positions AND lived out my biggest tickle fantasy~. I’ve been a massive fan of his content for years, I’ve dreamed of meeting up and playing, and IT HAPPENED!! I had a tickle crush on him, and now I think I actually have a bit of a crush on him after being tortured by him~. One of the biggest highlights of 2022 for me. 2 days was not enough.. that weekend went by way too fast. And I’m still craving and desperate for more. 

Spiffy, thank you so so much again for spoiling me, and pampering me, and giving me my dream session~. You made me feel safe, so comfortable, and seen. You really boosted my confidence and self esteem too. You go above and beyond to care for your subs; I appreciate the ways you put me at ease as this was so new to me. This was all so honouring! Can’t believe you’re a fan of me and my content aH!! I’m happy to now be a play reference for you! Thank you for being part of my kink journey.❤️

Frieren's magic system is brilliant in it's simplicity and i cannot get enough of it. Istg i haven't been this invested in magic system since nen.

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I made it through the writing program at the Second City Training Center! My virtual sketch show, “Zoomboomafoo,” runs for four consecutive Tuesdays - 10/24, 10/31, 11/7 and 11/14. It runs from 7p to 8p central time / Chicago time.

It’s free! And you can register using the following link:

https://secondcity.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_f47s_Xb1TgeW8VpNnMPKmA

I have two sketches (“recipe for disaster” and “fishbowl of misery”) in the running, pieces of which I’ve posted here. I also sing and dance and meow in the musical number Because Reasons! Feel free to share if you’re so inclined!

post-hamlet thoughts

tl;dr my college did hamlet and i was in it and it was cool

first of all, in case i hadn't made this clear already, this was entirely student-produced. i mean, we got some money from the theater department, but people-wise, it was all students.

i've told the rest of the cast this time and time again, but they're so good. insanely dedicated and humbling in their talent.

our hamlet, horatio, ophelia, and laertes were all freshman, and they were all stellar. ophelia and laertes broke my heart every night in the second half with their anger and their sadness. horatio always brings top energy to scenes and had lots of funny moments (espec counting his doubling as the second gravedigger) but also made me feel things (we staged act 4 scene 6 as him alone on stage reading hamlet's letter to the audience and he killed it every time). and our hamlet was just incredible; a pleasure to act against as guildenstern and a pleasure to watch / listen to in their more emotional scenes.

and everyone else was great too! our polonius was always funny but also had genuine moments of connection with his kids; our cladius brought some great depth to the role (his take on the monologue in act 3 scene 3 was great) while still being despicable, especially in his manipulation of laertes; our gertrude brought our director's take on her to life impeccably; and, of course, i had a wonderful and hilarious partner in our rosencrantz :)

not to mention our quartet of players (who also filled out the other miscellaneous roles) who had a ton of great moments. shout-outs in particular to the guy who doubled as the first gravedigger and sang his sung lines as a sea shanty (honestly, i think he could have been a great guildenstern or rosencrantz in another universe).

the crew, of course, was also amazing. there were like 150 cues? my friend (the writer i mentioned in this post) did a fantastic job with the lights. the people behind the staging and makeup did just as well. and the costumes were so fun! everyone looked great; we had a consistent black-white-red-brown color palette that tied it all together. special shout-out to the player king wearing a white shirt with a black cape while cladius wore a zipped-up leather jacket and a white cape.

oh, and me and ros? we got fedoras :) i may share a photo later. maybe.

we did our show in the college black box theater (inside the fine arts building), which i do not currently have the brain cells to try and explain the layout of. it's a kind of weird space, but i think we made the most of it. for the majority of the show i was off stage left, meaning i was hanging out at the top of the stairs which serve as the main entrance and exit to the theater (sitting/standing where i couldn't be seen by the audience obv). you can't really see the stage at all from there but you sure can hear the actors, and by the time of the show that was (mostly) enough for me.

as far as how the actual shows went?

friday was our most engaged audience. their laughter was greatly appreciated in the early scenes ...slightly less so when everyone was dying in the final scene. i mean, i get it, people start dropping like flies and actually foaming at the mouth and spitting out (fake) blood; it's a lot. i applaud hamlet and horatio for staying in character through it. everyone did a great job that night; it was probably better than all our dress rehearsals as a whole.

saturday, at least from my pov, had kind of weird vibes at the start? i don't know how much of it was people getting to bed late the previous night, how much of it was overconfidence, and how much of it was people getting in their own heads, but it was our lowest energy show. the audience wasn't as audibly engaged either, but they did give us a big applause. i felt more good than bad about it by the end, for sure.

especially in retrospect, because, despite us having a smaller crowd at today's matinee, everyone was back on the ball. the ending in particular i think was the best we've ever done it. it was probably my best performance as well.

to be clear, i wouldn't rate any of our three shows below an 8 out of 10, for what that's worth. everyone gave so much to their performances; the funny bits were funny even when the audience didn't seem to think so, and i was always getting caught up in my feelings in the second act. you can't ask for much more than that.

now, here's a compilation of things from the production in no real order:

i already posted about this, but having the blood stains on stage where people die from the beginning of every show? *chef's kiss*

i'll also restate the thing i mentioned in the tags of that post: characters who were murderers had symbolic blood makeup after they killed someone. cladius had a bloody ear from the start of the show, the meaning of which becomes clear once you see the player king get poison poured in his ears; hamlet got blood on their face during intermission that's meant to be polonius's blood; and, arguably most significantly, gertrude had bloody handprints around her neck when she entered at the end of act 4, which, in addition to her hair and arms being dripping wet, is meant to suggest that the story she tells about ophelia's death is, in fact, a cover for something less accidental.

as mentioned above, our director's take on gertrude in general was, from my understanding, pretty different from the standard. to quote from his character spines, "you fundamentally want to prepare your son hamlet to be king; you are playing essentially a game of chess to do so." it was really compelling to see in action. the way she performed act 4 scene 7? chilling.

speaking of those character spines, the first line of horatio's is literally just, "You are in love with Hamlet." and boy howdy did that come through

prime example of that (other than just, all of his and hamlet's interactions, which were wonderful): when horatio finished reading the letter from hamlet, he sniffed it, in a very sweet and very not-platonic way

it was an unintentional running gag throughout the whole process that other cast members would forget between ros and me which character we were playing - to the point that every performance, when hamlet first greeted us, even though i would get to them first, they addressed me first, and it's written that they say my name first, they would call me rosencrantz and our ros guildenstern. ...someone should write a play about that.

i might have posted about this already, but in ros and i's first scene with hamlet, when the two of them start talking about child actors, hamlet made us sit in the thrones, and we would make moves to leave of varying boldness that they, of course, never let us follow through on. this then got basically repeated in act 3 scene 2 except that horatio got to join in on the fun of relentlessly mocking us

(the thing where hamlet handed me their copy of william shakespeare's complete works while they dud the "what is a man" mimi monologue got dropped at some point in the dress rehearsals, unfortunately. they did flip through it with the players though)

during the play within a play, polonius would keep falling asleep and ros and i would keep waking him up

(we also got to do some fun silent banter back in act 2 scene 2 while hamlet and the players were doing their thing)

then the bit after that with the recorders, aka guildenstern's defining moment, was just so fun. hamlet and horatio basically sandwiched ros and me between the two of them, and hamlet and i played off each other very well (at least imo), and though i couldn't see what horatio and ros were doing behind me i know that it got some good laughs. and i could tell every night that the scene landed despite the shakespearean language barrier, so i can't help but be satisfied.

my other best moment was when the king told me to go get polonius's body from the stairs and i got to slump and make a "do i have to?" face before my (final) exit. i managed to actually get some chuckles from that tonight, from the crowd that, again, laughed the least in general, and i can't put into words how euphoric i was to have that be my last moment playing guildenstern.

from the rest of the second half of the show, which i am not in, i will highlight a) the gravedigger eventually realizing after shoveling for minutes on end that he's been shoveling literally nothing (love me a good little fourth wall break) and b) when hamlet and laertes come to physical blows over ophelia, horatio, on his line, steps between them, draws laertes's sword, and takes a stance pointing it at laertes to hold him off, all in basically one glorious motion.

oh, and the ending, of course.

as i alluded to way earlier, we had fake blood and alka-seltzer tablets that the people who died in act 5 scene 2 used to great effect (particularly the people who died via poison)

speaking of that scene, the sword fight was very neat! well-choreographed and well-enacted. real foils btw

and the way hamlet and horatio performed the ending? more than anything, the way hamlet said "give me the cup; let go!" - that shit hurt, in the best way, every night. (and though hamlet died in the king's throne (with the king's crown on), horatio held / clung to them the whole damn time)

for a lighter final note: our polonius doubled as fortinbras and came on at the ending in this huge, heavy, vampire-ass cloak, accompanied by our director as the messenger from england who announces my and ros's death :)

thankfully, we did record our last dress rehearsal, so we do have a version of it that we'll get to watch back in the future. i won't be able to share it with any of y'all (we will apparently be in BIG trouble if we post it anywhere online) but it'll be nice to have for me.

funny thing that happened while i was typing this long-ass post out: i kept using present tense and then realizing i had to change it to past tense. and by "funny" here, i mean, uh... oof.

we never got a perfect run-through where no lines were skipped over, but, i mean, it's fucking hamlet. we did this shit in like a month and a half (with a week lost to spring break); it's more than impressive that the show turned out how it did. it was a group labor of love, and one of the best things i've ever gotten to be a part of.

and i miss it already.

...at least there's movie night on tuesday :)

this blog is now an archive.    i have moved to a smaller, more plotting & friends focussed space simply because of having less time to be online. i’ll be sending out the url to people shortly. i’m not going to do a whole ‘like this to be followed’ but if you are interested in writing, you’re welcome to reach out to me. 

this is marking a deterioration in my activity level since my life changed a bit and while i dont know if it’s forever, right now this is my relationship with tumblr. also, this is a happy thing. i don’t mind my url being told to people, i’m not hiding out or changing my alias or anything. you can tell people where i’m at, i’m just taking it slow. i just want to take a moment to say i love you and thank you for being with me.

REMEMBER ME BY MIGUEL

Day 1700

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im going to celebrate my brothers birthday today so that's why i am dressed and dolled up. my hair is still wet because i cant plan properly and my best friend has borrowed my blow drier.

also i saw Halloween ends last night and i actually liked it. its not perfect but god was i entertained and that is all i want here in life - to be entertained by media.

am i wearing two dresses tonight? hell yeah. why wear one dress when you can were two. also you guess right. i dont own any pants, or well i do but i never wear them. nylon tights and dresses 7 days a week.

also how to you take pictures without the reflection in your glasses? and also you guys clean your glasses??! l a m e

sobbing into my hands rn

bout to be a lil sentimental in the tags :’) i am planning on doing a milestone event !! .. once i figure out what to do lmao

i know i don’t say this often, or at all for that matter, but i just wanna mention how much i treasure all my moots, followers, and special nonnies.

you guys truly make my experience on this platform a positive one and i’m super happy and grateful for all the memories :)