The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2013)
While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is a vile, sadistic film where gore replaces potential scares. It’s predictable, poorly written and doesn't show anything worth seeing, even to those who liked the 2003 film it serves as a prequel to.
Set four years before the events of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake), the hulking Thomas Hewitt (Andrew Bryniarski) is working at a slaughterhouse. When the health department orders its closure, the people surrounding it pack up their things and leave - all except for Luda Mae (Marietta Marich), Uncle Monty (Terrence Evans), and Charlie Hewitt (R. Lee Ermey), who are determined to stay. If cannibalism is the only way to survive, then so be it. We witness the origin of “Leatherface” as brothers Eric (Matt Bomer) and Dean (Taylor Handley), along with their girlfriends Chrissie (Jordana Brewster) and Bailey (Diora Baird) pass through the town.
This is one of the most prequel-y prequels I’ve ever seen. We learn how the Hewitts developed their taste for human flesh, why Uncle Monty is in a wheelchair, how R. Lee Ermey’s character became the sheriff and why he has dentures, who Leatherface's mother was, where he was born, we witness his first murder, find out why he makes masks, and more. If there was a detail from the 2003 remake you never wondered about, it receives an origin story. We see cows in fields surrounding the town, which means the Hoyt’s would rather eat people than hamburgers? So what if it makes no sense?
The Beginning is also one of the most by-the-numbers, clichéd horror movies you’ve ever seen. The characters are simply there to get chopped up and have no personalities beyond what is required for you to remember who is still alive and who is now dead. You don’t care about anyone, and I mean ANYONE at all, making this an extremely dull experience. All it’s essentially doing is interrupting the prequel moments with the same beats we’ve seen in every single Texas Chainsaw movie since the original sequel in 1986.
General incompetence oozes from every frame of this film by Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, Battle: Los Angeles). The suspense is nonexistent and since we couldn’t care less about who lives or who dies, there aren't any scares either. You’ll want to close your eyes often though, as the film lingers on the gore constantly. I know “massacre” is in the title but did we need to see a human being vivisected while still alive? It might be disturbing but scary? No. How could anyone care when we already know none of these people will make it out alive - this would contradict the events of the other film. This means the picture is free to indulge in tropes we thought we’d left behind years ago such as “the killer is hiding in the back seat”!
Say what you will about the decline in quality the Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th series saw, but some of the follow-ups were actually good or could be enjoyed ironically. Average out the rating these Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies have been receiving. That's a scary thought. This may be the worst-faring slasher franchise out there. Wish me luck as we proceed with the rest. (Unrated version on DVD, February 15, 2019)
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Cine: Zerophilia (2005)
Es una extraña mezcla entre comedia romántica, ciencia ficción y algún componente dramático. Un soplo de aire fresco en universo del cine LGBTQ en el que el director y guionista Martin Curland establece una idea interesante: ¿y si, frente a un estímulo sexual, vieras cómo tu cuerpo empieza a manifestar características del sexo opuesto?
Esto es lo que le ocurre, precisamente, al pobre de Luke (Taylor Handley) cada vez que se topa con Michelle (Rebecca Mozo), la chica que le gusta, a quien abandona luego de uno de esos molestos episodios durante una cena cuando advierte que le han crecido pechos turgentes. Al día siguiente, el muchacho la visita a su casa con la idea de disculparse, pero se topa con su hermano Max (Kyle Schmid), que le manifiesta agriamente su disgusto.
Luke, confundido por su situación (al igual que su mejor amigo Keenan, interpretado por Dustin Seavey, y su novia, Janine, en la piel de Alison Folland), recibe algo de luz cuando conoce a la Dra. Sydney Catchadourian (Gina Bellman), quien le comunica que su peculiar condición (desde luego, ficticia para nosotros) se llama "zerofilia" y que debe convertirse en una mujer hecha y derecha para facilitar su tratamiento. Así, una sesión de masturbación lo convierte en Luca (Marieh Delfin), personalidad que adopta frente a Max cuando descubre que se siente atraído/a hacia el joven.
Y aún le esperan más sorpresas y desventuras.
El filme juega con la confusión sexual, y no sólo la de género: los protagonistas deambulan entre lo que son, lo que quieren ser (y lo que no) y la aceptación propia y ajena, además de la búsqueda del propio deseo.
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Episode 368
Comic Reviews:
DC
Batman: Dear Detective by Lee Bermejo
Black Adam: Justice Society Files – Atom Smasher by Bryan Q. Miller, Cavan Scott, Marco Santucci, Travis Mercer, John Kalisz, Michael Atiyeh
Dark Knights of Steel: Tales From the Three Kingdoms by Tom Taylor, CS Pascat, Jay Kristoff, Sean Izaakse, Michele Bandini, Caspar Wijngaard, Antonio Fabela, Romula Fajardo Jr
Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths 4 by Joshua Williamson, Daniel Sampere, Alejandro Sanchez
My Buddy Killer Croc by Sara Farizan, Nicoletta Baldari
Marvel
Amazing Fantasy 1000 by Dan Slott, Kurt Busiek, Jonathan Hickman, Neil Gaiman, Ho Che Anderson, Rainbow Rowell, Michael Pasciullo, Armando Ianucci, Michael Cho, Anthony Falcone, Ryan Stegman, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Marco Checchetto, Jim Cheung, Olivier Coipel, Todd Nauck, Goran Parlov, Terry Dodson, Steve McNiven, Rachel Dodson, Klaus Janson, JP Mayer, Matt Wilson, Rachelle Rosenberg, Jordie Bellaire, Sonia Oback, Frank Martin, David Jay Ramos, Richard Isanove
Alien 1 by Phillip Kennedy Johnson, Julius Ohta, Yen Nitro
All-Out Avengers 1 by Derek Landy, Greg Land, Jay Leisten, Frank D’Armata
Fantastic Four: Full Circle by Alex Ross, Josh Johnson
Infinity Comics
It’s Jeff by Kelly Thompson, Gurihiru
Image
Antioch 1 by Patrick Kindlon, Marco Ferrari
Dark Horse
Shock Shop 1 by Cullen Bunn, Leila Leiz, Danny Luckert
Dynamite
Ninjettes 1 by Fred Van Lente, Joe Cooper, Dearbhla Kelly
IDW
Star Trek 400 by Wil Wheaton, Mike Johnson, Chris Eliopoulos, Declan Shalvey, Rich Handley, Joe Eisma, Seth Damoose, Luke Sparrow, Megan Levens, Angel Hernandez
OGN
Everyday Hero Machine Boy by Irma Kniivila, Tri Vuong
Karma GN by Dan Wickline, Carlos Reno
Kali GN by Daniel Freedman, Robert Sammelin
Garlic and the Witch by Bree Paulsen
Always Never by Jordi Lafebre
Archie
Sabrina Anniversary Spectacular 1 by Dan Parent
AfterShock
Last Line 1 by Richard Dinnick, Jose Holder, Kelly Fitzpatrick, Dave Sharpe
Ahoy
Highball 1 by Stuart Moore, Fred Harper, Lee Loughridge
Ablaze
Boogyman 1 by Mathieu Salvia, Djet
AWA
E-Ratic: Recharged 1 by Kaare Andrews, Brian Reber
Ray’s OGN Corner: American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang, Lark Pien
Longbox of Horror
Additional Reviews: 13: The Musical, Cuphead Show s2, Butterfly Garden, She-Hulk ep4, Lost in Space s3, Uploads s1, Pinocchio, Cars on the Road, new Simpsons short
News: Dead-End Paranormal Park returns in October for s2, Theme Parks, Stan Sakai back to Dark Horse, Disney+ Day, D23 news, Wish/Elio/Inside Out 2 from Disney/Pixar, Mufasa: The Lion King, October is Jeff month, Radiant Pink, Radiant Yellow, Squid Game star takes on Star Wars role, Paper Girls cancelled, Netflix release model, Anthony Ramos as the Hood, Matt Shankman of WandaVision to direct Fantastic Four, Don Cheadle lead in Secret Invasion and Armor Wars, Leader and Sabra confirmed for Cap 4, Thunderbolts cast, Young Jedi Adventures, Otto Schmidt, Dark Web details
Trailers: Knives Out 2, Quantum Leap, Disenchanted, Little Mermaid, Wendel and Wild, Willow, Andor, Tales of the Jedi, Mando s3, Secret Invasion, National Treasure, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Santa Clause, Percy Jackson, Fabelmans, Werewolf by Night
Comics Countdown:
Always Never GN by Jordi Lafebre
Garlic and the Witch GN by Bree Paulsen
Batman 127 by Chip Zdarsky, Belen Ortega, Jorge Jimenez, Luis Guerrero, Tomeu Morey
Twig 5 by Skottie Young, Kyle Strahm, Jean-Francois Beaulieu
Dark Knights of Steel: Tales From the Three Kingdoms by Tom Taylor, CS Pascat, Jay Kristoff, Sean Izaakse, Michele Bandini, Caspar Wijngaard, Antonio Fabela, Romula Fajardo Jr
TMNT 132 by Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman, Sophie Campbell, Pablo Tunica, Ronda Pattison
Dudley Datson and the Forever Machine 2 by Scott Snyder, Jamal Igle, Juan Castro, Chris Sotomayor
Punisher 6 by Jason Aaron, Paul Azaceta, Jesus Saiz, Dave Stewart
New Champion of Shazam! 2 by Josie Campbell, Evan Shaner
Once and Future 29 by Kieron Gillen, Dan Mora, Tamra Bonvillain
Check out this episode!
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"Paramount+ Announces Season 3 Renewal for 'Mayor of Kingstown'".
Jeremy Renner leads the cast of "Mayor of Kingstown," portraying Mike McLusky, an influential figure from the power-centric McLusky family in Kingstown, Mich. Set against the backdrop of a town where incarceration is the dominant business, the series sheds light on systemic racism, corruption, and societal imbalances. As the McLuskys strive to instill order and justice in a place devoid of both, the narrative unfolds.
Supporting Renner are a group of stellar actors: Dianne Wiest plays Miriam McLusky, Mike's mother. Hugh Dillon, one of the show's creators, appears as detective Ian Ferguson. Taylor Handley portrays Mike's sibling, Kyle McLusky, while Emma Laird is seen as Iris, an escort. Tobi Bamtefa plays Bunny, the head of the Kingstown Crips. Derek Webster, Hamish Allan-Headley, and Aidan Gillen further bolster the cast with their roles as another detective, a police sergeant, and a Russian mob figure, respectively. The series was birthed by the collaborative minds of Dillon and Taylor Sheridan, who, alongside Renner and other talented individuals such as Antoine Fuqua, David C. Glasser, and others, also hold executive production roles. It is a joint venture production between MTV Entertainment Studios and 101 Studios.
The launch of "Mayor of Kingstown" marked the inaugural show to premiere as part of Sheridan's extensive collaboration with ViacomCBS. This partnership blossomed after the rave reception of "Yellowstone." Besides "Mayor of Kingstown," Sheridan's footprint on the streaming service encompasses the “Yellowstone” spin-offs "1883" and "1923", as well as series like "Tulsa King," "Special Ops: Lioness," and the anticipated “Lawmen: Bass Reeves” and “Land Man."
Though specific viewership figures remain undisclosed, Paramount+ has indicated that during its second season, "Mayor of Kingstown" was a formidable contender, ranking third on their platform, trailing just behind "1923" and "Tulsa King."
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