in contrast with my last post, in my latest relisten of taz balance i also recorded a bunch of quotes that felt like a punch to the gut (with zero context mostly). here’s some that made me a) cry or b) freak out because foreshadowing

MAJOR taz balance spoilers ahead; if you haven’t already listened to this amazing show, you should!

- “you can’t kill robbie, i have some big franchise plans for robbie”

- “you found her?“

- “one of you isn’t a lich, are you?”

- “tell julia i said i love her”

- “your staff, you lost control of it, and you blasted the letters L U P into the wall”

- “you look familiar too. have we met?” (this one i did put context for, it’s ren speaking to magnus in the eleventh hour during one of the early loops)

- “is there anything else you can edit in our past?” (this one also had context, magnus to istus i believe)

- “you’re going to be amazing”

- “there’s a long span of time that’s just not there” … “while you’re looking through these memories… there is something about the memory is a little bit off. there’s parts of it that are a little bit staticky.”

- “i named my fish after him”

- “he didn’t want to be a hero. it wasn’t his desire.”

- “Do you remember the last thing you said?”

“I said ‘I love you, Jules.’”

- “lup. they don’t trust me. i cant do it anymore, lup. i’m sorry”

- “the hunger is almost here. and when it arrives, the world will be lost.”

- “and it’s an incredibly familiar face, because it’s your face, magnus. this figure in the red robe is you.”

- “why are you doing this, taako?”

“because i’m worried no one else will have me”

- “you see this red robe put a single skeletal finger to its nonexistent lips”

- ”i’ll be having my body back you undead fuck”

- “trust barry. love barry. taako… it’s me… it’s *static*”

- “when there was trouble, you took the big hit. didn’t you, bud?”

- “and taako you remember lup now. how could you forget lup?”

- “are we just gonna burn every world that we can’t save just to keep the hunger from getting its hands on them? how does that make us any better than them?”

- “this is where we get to decide who we are”

- “show them the duck. it’s a good duck. i think they’ll like it!”

- “your journey could have ended anywhere… but it ended here. and you’re so grateful for that.”

- “sometimes there aren’t right decisions. sometimes there’s just decisions.”

- “back soon”

- “as his body falls further and further down, you realize you don’t know who that is.”

- “magnus. i’m going to find a place for you to be happy. it’ll just be for a little bit. i can do this. i love you magnus. i love all of you *fading into static*”

- “you *fucking took everything. from me*.”

- “i needed to say goodbye to someone

- “i don’t expect you all to forgive me…”

“i run over and hug her”

- “there’s magic in a bards song. they call it is inspiration and it tells the listener what they need to hear when they need to hear it… and you hear johann’s voice and it says: ‘you’re gonna have to fight… and *you’re gonna win!*’”

- “how does magnus die?”

- “and thus ends adventure zone balance. the story of four idiots who played dnd so hard they made themselves cry.”

Pretty huge Doughnuts

The word count's droppin', but I'm not stoppin' - @taznovembercelebration day 15. Prompt "baby"

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's catch it here.

-

“You’re doing what now?”

“Planning Lup a baby shower.”

“Lup’s pregnant?” Barry’s voice is doing something high pitched and weird and Taako’s unsure exactly what the fuck is going on, but someone’s forgotten they have like 8 PhDs.

“Wanna think that through, Barold? Do you think that maybe she might have told you if she’d cracked that one.”

Barry looks less panicked. “Yeah… fair. Uh.”

“Anyway.” Taako ploughs on valiantly, he’ll pull this one out at a later date, once Barold thinks he’s forgotten. “I’m planning a baby shower for her.”

“If she’s not pregnant…” Barry starts.

“Which she isn’t.” Taako adds, helpfully.

“Yeah. Uh. Which she isn’t.” Barry looks pale still, poor, sweet idiot. “... then why are you throwing her a baby shower?”

“It took her more than nine months to birth the thesis” Taako says, he shrugs because it’s obvious, obviously. He doesn't know why literally no one so far has understood. They're definitely the problem.

Barry’s still scrunkling his face up like Taako's being irrational. The joke's on him because Taako's never irrational.

“She’s had a tonne of appointments.”

“Uh huh.”

"She brought new life into the world."

"The necromancy thing isn't part of the main thesis after, you know, the legal issues."

“I meant the concepts, not the zombie. Anyway the university are cowards for not embracing him." Before they get into the ethics of free education after reanimation Taako diverts Barry again. "She had to do that scan.”

“What scan? Wait, Taako, do you mean the MRIs she did for the data collection?”

“Now you get it.”

“I…”

“Cha’boy found this banner.” Taako unfurls it dramatically and holds it up, it’s gold and spangly and far too much, which is, of course, the perfect amount.

“Congratulations, it’s a…” Reads Barry.

“PhD!” Taako replies. “I’m gonna write it in and add flames. It’ll be great.”

“She’ll love the flames.” Says Barry, probably trying to tactfully dissuade Taako from the rest. Optimistic fool.

“I made a game for us where we have to guess the circumference of her thesis. There's prizes.”

“Is the thesis measurement bound or unbound?” Asks Barry far too fast. Oooooh, Taako has him on board now. Suddenly he loves BaPhD showers.

“No can do, Bluejeans, you wouldn’t want to cheat, would you? Wouldn’t want to ruin Lup’s special day by making it all about winning?”

“No.” Says Barry, unconvincingly.

“No cheating, Barold!”

Barry doesn’t say anything. Taako never should have taken Bluejeans under his wing, he’s created a monster.

“What’s a baby snack?”

"Mush?"

"No, like, for this."

“Are you asking what a baby thesis would eat?” Barry sounds more delighted by the concept than he should be.

“Baby researchers, I assume.” Chews them up, spits them out, not that Taako’s bitter. He’s fine. He can come back any time. Any time the police get round to officially clearing him. Not that it’s a problem, he’s not bothered about his degree anyway. He’s peachy. It’s not weird to see Lup get her doctorate before him when they were supposed to do it together.

Barry seems to realise he’s triggered some kind of horror even though Taako's definitely doing an incredibly normal face. He's going to try sand be nice about it.

“What are PhD snacks?” He asks before Barry can say anything kind.

“Pretty huge doughnuts.” Barry replies without hesitation. Taako knew there was a reason he kept him around.

Taako makes a note in his phone. Giant doughnuts mean giant frying, mean big oil, mean big pan.

“Why’re we making big doughnuts?” Kravitz asks, cracking the door to his room.

Of course it was food discussion that summoned him from his regimented work schedule (ignoring what he needed to do because he got distracted by other things and then panic typing up everything for his deadline.) It bodes well for Taako’s ongoing wooing, the stuff about hearts and stomachs was true probably, but Taako was also hoping to make his way to Kravitz’s di…

“Taako’s throwing Lup a surprise baby shower.” Barry cuts through Taako’s wandering thoughts. “We’re planning the menu.”

“Oh.” Says Kravitz. “For her PhD? Neat!”

-

Hey, hey, enjoyed that? Find the next prompt here!

taz musical theater au, please :O??? -ise (currently listening to broadway Anastasia and going buckwild again /lh)

"So," Kravitz says, the door closing behind him dramatically. He doesn't put his bag down like he usually does. Instead he looks stiff and frustrated and confused. And cute. Still painfully fucking cute, as always. "I was surprised to see you at the casting call today."

"Why? You've been talking about it since I moved in last month." Taako kicks his feet off the edge of the couch and keeps pretending to read the magazine he stole from the dentist yesterday, as revenge for having to be there. It's months old, but some of the recipes are still interesting.

Kravitz makes a face like he is trying, with all his might, not to telegraph how confused and frustrated he is. Too bad. Consider that code morsed, buckaroo. Tappity tap tap, you've betrayed how you feel. Better luck when the telephone gets invented. 

"It's just," he says. "I did not think you were interested in musicals. Or this musical, specifically. Or being in the musical that I am running, and taking very seriously, by the way."

"Did I do a bad job in my audition?" Taako audibly turns a sleek page, and pretends to be interested in Cheez-it encrusted lamb nuggets. "You don't have to give me a call back if I'm not right for the part."

"No," Kravitz sighs, shaking his head. He clutches his bag close, like it will be a weapon against the great unknown of Taako's mysterious motives. "You were–amazing. I was afraid we weren't going to have a villain this round. You- Taako- " Kravitz walks over and grips the back of the couch. Taako looks So Very Incredibly Casually up at him, smirking. "You absolutely bodied your audition." 

"Cool," Taako says, like it doesn't matter at all. Like, oh, chips were on sale? That's nice, maybe we'll make some dip. Maybe not. "I thought there was uh, a process for letting people know they're in." 

"There is!" Kravitz stresses. "But we live together. Taako, we live together, I've known you for almost two months now, I've been talking about this musical all summer, and I've never heard you sing! What- I didn't know you even knew where the playhouse was!" 

"Google maps," Taako provides helpfully. He closes his magazine thoughtfully. Maybe tomorrow he will get some Cheez-its. Lamb nuggets can't be that bad, can they? 

"That's not my question!" Kravitz looks, get this, confused and frustrated. It's hard not to laugh right at him.

"What is your question?" Picture of innocence. Stock photo of a sky-blue day. Motives? What motives? 

"Why did you try out for my musical??" 

"Bored. Sounded fun," Taako says with a shrug. 

"Are you interested in musicals??" Kravitz looks like the unhingedness of this line of interrogation is dawning on him a little late. 

"Who isn't?" 

"Taako!" That grip on the couch is so tight. Fuck, he's gorgeous. Maybe a little dim, though. 

"Kravitz!" Taako grins. "Did you not want me there? Is there a problem? I thought this roommate thing was going okay." 

"It-" Kravitz throws his hands in the air and huffs. "You're allowed to be there!" 

"Oh good," Taako says, playing as stupid as he can manage with a straight face. "Not gonna get arrested today. Probably." 

"Taako-" 

"I mean you never know," Taako adds conversationally. "Always good to be prepared." 

"Are you going to take this seriously??" 

"Course," Taako says, and shrugs. 

"You're not just doing it to fuck with me??" Kravitz. Darling. Really? Your first guess is that he's being mean, and not trying to follow you to a second location because he doesn't want to miss out on his Kravitz time? Sabotage, and not ooey-gooey crush the likes of which an adult ought not have to suffer?? Has Taako been Too Subtle? 

"Why would I do that?" Taako tosses the magazine onto the side table. The two of them watch the whole pile of shit slide slowly onto the floor. Sheet music and snacks and playbooks and photos and maybe the lost remote go all over in slow motion. Taako looks back at Kravitz. Kravitz looks pinched. Calzone of a dude here. Dumpling, even. What's in your pocket, guy? What savory morsels are you withholding? 

"I don't know," he says, after a long, painful moment. "But I'm going to find out." And he turns and marches toward his room. 

Wuh oh. Maybe they got two very different messages on what this story is about. Should he say something? 

Then again…Taako doesn't mind an enemies to lovers plot. Not one bit. 

In honor of the Adventure Zone and the suffering game coming out soon I’m gonna talk about the moments in The Adventure Zone that got me the most emotional

Obviously spoilers for the Adventure Zone

5. Johann the Bard’s death

This one I think caught the majority of TAZ fans off guard. Whenever an NPC died.. it was always during the events of recovering a grand relic - never after the mission. It’s like-

Johann was here. And then he wasn’t.

And most people grew very attached to Johann during the episodes and arcs of making fun of him, asking if they’re ok with being forgotten, him and his relationship with the Void Fish— and to include this with my number 5

WHEN MAGNUS AT THE END OF THE PODCAST

NAMES HIS FUCKING DOG AFTER JOHANN

OHMYGODDD

4. Meeting Lup

Now- not when Lup was freed from the Umbra-staff and called out her brother for being gay, while that was a funny as fuck moment, that’s not what I’m referring to.

It’s when we cut back to the Stolen Century and we meet Lup officially for the first time. I just remember hearing her speak for the first time and her antics and I remember being like “god.. she’s just like her brother.”

And we get to know her and it’s like- we also find out she is nothing like Taako. She’s more empathetic to people - to strangers- she’s smarter than him(like book smart) , SHES a nerd, she flamboyant and kindhearted and it’s like also-

We’ve known her forever. She was in every single adventure the boys had- she was this overwhelming presence in the entire podcast - from her name burnt into the wall, to “where’d you get that umbrella?”, to flying to Taako’s aid every time he was in trouble— she had always been a character without a name or face to her and then we she is finally formally introduced you just love her instantly.

That’s amazing writing.

3. Arms outstretched

Now this got everyone.

It was such a powerful moment between brothers and between friends- even Griffin didn’t see it coming.

He fully expect them to just let Magnus float off into the astral plane but then they change the entire plot of the story and saved Magnus and brought him back.

Taako and Merle both using a spell slot to bring back their bestfriend. Also foreshadows to their deeper connection back in their stolen century.

The music behind that scene was also fucking phenomenal it was beautiful and I loved it.

2. “You fucking took everything from me”

Ok SO- THIS ONE IS INCREDIBLE- it starts me on the same tangent every time.

In this moment Taako has fully remembered all of the events that happened before Lucretia erased their memories and he is fucking infuriated.

Because if Lucretia had not done it that day- Taako and Barry would’ve found Lup. THINK ABOUT IT - that day they were going to check Wave Echo cave- they would’ve found Lup’s corse and the red robe and the umbrella - Taako would’ve made the connection and Barry would’ve figured it out instantly and Lup would’ve been set free and back.

But because Lucretia did it they never went to WaveEcho cave and they never found her- until a decade later- Taako found her stupid and unknowing - took her umbrella and watched her skeleton decay- AND NOW HE REMEMBERS THIS

And it’s too late to go back to WaveEcho now, the fucking hunger is here and her corpse is long gone, if she was a lich barry would’ve found her by now, and if she was in Phanadalin- it was all glass now - where could she have gone?

Taako is realizing silently what Barry isn’t aware of- Lup was right there. SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM- and he couldn’t find her, he couldn’t save her.

In this moment of rage Taako realizes his sister is gone. She’s never coming back. Lucretia took his everything from him.

And it’s all her fault.

1. Magnus’s death

Now. The day I finished TAZ Balance edition, at 9:38PM, I cried myself to sleep. OF COURSE I DID

“HOW DOES MAGNUS DIE?”

SURROUNDED BY HIS LOVED ONES

WITH HIS DOGS

AND MAGNUS FINALLY ENDS HIS ULTIMATE QUEST- HE SEES HIS WIFE IN THE AFTERLIFE

Magnus, rushing in to everything because he ultimately wanted to die a crazed hero so he could see his wife again but still feel like he died doing something worth it just for her, who never loved another ever during his years alive, who turned down the temptation of his own relic because if he was going to see his wife again he wanted her to be proud of him, Magnus Burnsides whose ultimate destination and goal was to see the love of his life again.

And he finally did.

Magnus got the happy ending he truly deserved.

Magnus Burnsides is the most relatable character in all of the Adventure Zone(to me at least) I love and cherished him like he was truly my friend- so when he dies at the end of the podcast I cried like I was grieving a real person.

currently i am in a very taz mood i suppose and im thinking about the ipre members naming their relics

taako, lup and barry all have relatively fancy names (the Philosophers Stone, the Phoenixfire Gauntlet, and the Animus Bell); magnus and merle both go for a little bit of embellishment but pretty much state it plainly (the Temporal Chalice and the Gaia Sash); and there is no embellishment when it comes to davenport and lucretias relics (the Oculus and the Bulwark Staff. like yeah, it sure is.)

do you think lucretia thinks about it? taako names his relic after a legend, of an incredibly powerful wizard. it is not easy to be a wizard. being a wizard is strict schools, is difficult work, is clawing your way to the top. taako and lup can hardly beg for enough scraps to fight over for dinner most days. no wizard worth their salt is going to give up their books to some random street kids, and even if they do, only lup knows how to read, between them. it's a lot of sneaking in and out and pestering and bothering and reading under the hazy light of candles they're not really supposed to have lit. it is years of extreme study of stolen books, years of exhaustive spell practise until taako's got dark spots in his vision and is still saying 'just one more try', years of clawing their way to the top. taako is one of the strongest wizards lucretia has ever known.

lup's relic is no question, of course; she has always loved fire, but barrys, on the other hand, well. barry is a man of science, of study, of experiments. barry is a human man. barry is a human man who is in love with an elf. the word animus does not imply death, but life. re-animation, and that's not really what's happening. barry's a lich, now, which makes him a prime target for lousy adventurers looking for easy money. he needs some way to keep himself alive. he needs some way to have hands, eyes, lips, some way to hold lup, some way to look at her, some way to smile at the way her voice goes all croaky in the early mornings. the animus bell, in barry's mind, is not a tool of death, but of renewed life. it was never intended for anyone who wasn't used to being remade.

when it comes to magnus, it's different. divination; magnus has no magical experience. he is a woodworker, a fighter, he's strong in everything he does, from lifting logs to loving others.

when lucretia thinks about the temporal chalice, she thinks about the cycles one, or most, of them died early. she thinks about that dreaded cycle, the entire year alone. she thinks about magnus' deep, powerful drive to protect. she remembers a study, from one cycle, that stated In the absence of higher knowledge, most or all sapient, rational beings will believe that other sapient, rational beings are extremely similar to them. she thinks about the temporal chalice, and magnus' drive to protect. how they never know what they're getting. the relief on his face, mixed with the worry, when lucretia collapsed against the edge of the starblaster, after her year alone.

ultimately the temporal chalice was used for its goal; to protect. just not in the way any of them had ever intended.

If you're still accepting '101 ways to Say I Love You with Actions' prompts then 36. "Letting them lay across your lap to read." with anyone who takes your fancy would be wonderful!

36. "Letting them lay across your lap to read."

--

Lucretia has accepted a lot of things by now. She's accepted the fact that they don't (yet) know how to defeat the Hunger. She's accepted that she will probably never have a normal young adulthood. She's accepted that she's stuck rooming with Merle for now, who snores like an entire ogre in his sleep. She's accepted that she's probably gonna fuck up her wrists real bad with all this writing.

And she's accepted the fact that Magnus has decided that her legs specifically are the best place to read.

She's not complaining! Well, not out loud. Lucretia loves Magnus like a brother, but sometimes she does get the Cain Instinct. Magnus is big- much bigger than her, both vertically and horizontally. And he likes to read out loud. Never super loud, but if Lucretia was trying to read herself, Magnus's attempts at whispering under his breath were incredibly distracting. Lucretia was the type of person who could work in pretty much any environment if she gave it her all. That didn't mean she wanted to be in said environment, though.

It's never really been a problem before now. That being said, they had never been in a world with the largest library Lucretia has ever seen before now. This plane was completely devoted to learning and documenting new discoveries. In return for letting them study the Light alongside the crew, they had been granted full access to the library's services, including the books regular citizens were not allowed to borrow. Lucretia was consuming them at a lightning pace.

For the past few weeks, she'd come into the library first thing in the morning and start right where she left off. Often, another crew member would come with her. Barry and Lup, usually, if they had time between their work with the Light. Davenport preferred to check out books to read on the ship, and Merle had a temporary ban for tracking mud inside on three separate occasions (when it hadn't even been raining. Lucretia would have asked questions but by now she knew how Merle was.). Taako made a huge show of telling her that "reading was for nerds" and "I have better things to do", so Lucretia was content not bringing it up every time they came across each other on the shelves.

Magnus was kind of touch and go. Getting him to focus on something like this had always been a challenge, but with a world focused mainly on studies and books, he didn't really have anywhere else to turn. He had taken to setting up shop near Lucretia, and then next to her, and then quite literally on her. She had to move over to one of the couches because sitting at the table was not going to support both of them.

"Luce," Magnus said, poking the back of her hand. Lucretia blinked, looking away from her book.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you think they've invented fun on this plane," Magnus said.

"You're awful," Lucretia said, bringing her attention back to her book. Magnus squirmed.

"This is awful," Magnus said. "Do they even have sports? Is sport a thing? Is there a book about, I don't know, some physical activities or like, punching someone, or?"

"I'm sure there is somewhere," Lucretia said. Magnus groaned.

"I don't wanna read about it," he said. Lucretia was beginning to think she wasn't going to be allowed to read anymore. "I wanna do it."

"Who's stopping you?" she asked.

Magnus paused. He had his Considering face on, which was never a good thing. Lucretia might have just caused a terrible thing to go into motion. But after a long, tense second, Magnus rolled his eyes and said,

"I don't wanna right now."

"Fantastic," Lucretia said. "Great reason. Keep reading."

"I don't get why people enjoy it, is all!" Magnus said. "Like, the letters keep jumping around and it hurts my brain. And all of these are non-, uhm. Fiction? Non-fiction? Or is it-"

"Non-fiction is right," Lucretia said. "Also, is it like a dyslexia jumping around thing or like a, you can't focus jumping around thing?"

"I don't know what dyslexia is," Magnus said. "The letters are just wrong."

Okay. No. Lucretia wasn't going to be reading anymore. She put her (new, very fancy) bookmark on the page she was reading and shut the book, setting it aside. Magnus had already closed his book. He looked up at her expectantly.

"Okay," Lucretia said. "Tell me about the letters."

(written by me and @mmmarty!)

“Mhm, and you’ve been using this… spellbook… for how long?”

“A few weeks,” Lup answers, scowling at it. “We’re not summoning shit, though, I don’t know -”

“We think we’re translating some of the Infernal wrong,” Barry elaborates. “I took some in college -”

“You dropped the class as soon as the hot TA graduated,” Kravitz reminds him, “and you were hungover half the time you did show up.”

“And Lup did it on Fantasy Duolingo for a few hours before we started!” He quickly insists, and Kravitz just shakes his head. 

“Well, yeah, mhm,” he says, holding the black leatherbound tome up and pointing to a passage. “So, when it said brown one and a half pounds of mince in a non-stick pan -”

“Yeah, like, a sacrifice for the demon,” Lup says. “The lasagna. We weren’t really sure of the spiritual meaning, but we made it perfectly, I even got Taako to help us out.”

“What about the flowers?” Kravitz indicates a vase with an assorted bouquet in. It’s very pretty and clearly expensive.

“Yeah, well, jump to page two-twelve,” Barry says, adjusting his glasses to peer over Kravitz’s shoulder. “Look, there. Flowers. We thought we needed to grind the petals for spell components or something.”

“Right, and the candles -”

“Ritual candles,” Lup explains. “They’re tallow. No self-respecting demon’s gonna show up for, like, beeswax.”

“That would make sense, for sure,” Kravitz nods. “And… all this?” He gestures to the rose petals arranged in a circle around the couch, and the bottle of massage oil on the coffee table.

“A summoning sigil, obvi,” Lup huffs like he’s an absolute dipshit, and Barry nods. 

“Preparing the willing vessel for possession.” 

“Yeah, yeah for sure. So, just to recap, you two cooked dinner -”

“Well, I did most of the cooking,” Lup says. 

“Yeah, I was setting stuff up.” 

“Oh, sorry, Lup, you cooked Barry dinner, and Barry, you brought Lup home flowers and were gonna rub her down on the couch after, to summon a demon?” 

He looks at them expectantly, waiting for something, anything, to click, and they just stare back like the two world’s most earnest deer in headlights.

“Yeah!” They nod in unison. 

“Okay.” Kravitz sets down the book, steeples his fingers as he bows his head to his hands, and takes a deep breath. 

“Okay. So you both suck at infernal.” 

“Well, suck is a strong -”

“No, you both suck shit, because I actually showed up to class, Barry -” 

Barry blushes.

“And this isn’t titled— wait, what was it you two said?” 

“Demons and Resurrection,” Lup supplies, and Barry nods, still red.

“Yeah, it’s not Demons and Resurrection, it’s Dating and Relationships.” 

“It’s -” Barry stutters, flushing even deeper, and Lup frowns. 

“So it’s a… demon dating guide? What to do when your lover has scales, kind of thing?” She asks, and Kravitz makes and so- so gesture with his hand.

“Well, part dating, part… you’ve heard of the karma sutra, right?”

Now it’s Lup’s turn to go red. “Well, that does explain the diagrams at the end,” she offers, and Barry aims for a professional nod. 

Kravitz flips quickly to the end of the book, where he’s treated to graphic illustrations of a couple intertwined, with various notes of how to contort oneself. 

“I - wait, were you two really planning to -”

“For science!” Lup interrupts, steadily growing redder. 

“Well, I don’t have other plans tonight,” Barry says, “and the lasagna does smell incredible.” 

“It’d be a shame to let it go to waste. You know, scientifically speaking.” 

“For science,” Barry nods, face the picture of utmost professionalism. 

Kravitz doesn’t have the heart to tell them that that’s not what “for science” actually means, but he gets the feeling they already know. Lup is pouring Barry wine while he makes a little pile of salad on her plate, so Kravitz just sighs, grabs his book, and heads for the door. 

Taako isn’t gonna believe they didn’t get the hint this time.

Reunion Tour

The kid was playing with the baby jellyfish. The Voidfish. Fisher. This must be Fisher’s kid, he was much too small to be Fisher now. At that thought, things began to flood back. He tried not to remember too quickly, tried to be safe, tried to remember every time he had become a lich after dying. 

He remembered. 

He remembered Taako, tears streaming down his face as he shot Barry, once, twice, three times. He remembered falling backwards off of the ship, off of what had been his home for 100 long years. 

He remembered conversations with Magnus about true strength and letting others help. He remembered learning to cook. He remembered dancing with Merle and making tea with Lucretia. 

“Boys! Don’t put up a fight, things are in motion now.” Lup. That was her Umbrastaff clutched in Taako’s hands. “We just need to go with the flow for now.” 

Lucretia. He wasn’t a lich so his anger wasn’t as violent, or at least it didn’t start that way. But then she walked into the room, and they made eye contact and she had the audacity to put on that sad, self-deprecating smile, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He charged towards her only to be stopped by Davenport. 

Davenport, who she had stolen his entire life from, who didn’t know that he was missing the fact that he had been the captain of the most beautiful, most incredible ship around. He needed to remember, so Barry snuck the vial into his hand before he was pulled away, back to where the others, where his friends were. 

Lucretia was channeling her spell, was draining the last of the Light into her staff, into the Bulwark Staff. It was almost like feedback from a microphone, the way his mind reeled for a moment. Lucretia looked up and looked truly horrified. 

“No! You inoculated yourselves, didn’t you?”

The boys didn’t even try to hide it, and Barry smiled. That was just like them. That was how they acted. He looked to Davenport who was looking at the vial in his hands curiously. Barry cast Command. 

“Drink.”

“What did you say?” Lucretia looked up, surrounded by her magical barrier like the coward she was. 

“Lucretia, you have to help them remember. You owe them that much. Their minds are going to shatter if you don’t.” The best day ever with Lup. Setting fire to the village that killed Lup and Lucretia. Dying. 

And Lucretia explained. The mission, the fact that they were from a different world. She didn’t mention the dying, or the Hunger, and Barry almost let her off the hook for that but then Davenport dropped the vial and looked up in horror. 

“Lucretia? What have you done?” 

TAZ November Celebration 13: Sick

The card I drew for this @taznovembercelebration entry was "sick," so you know what that means! It's time for more soft taakitz! Another incredibly self-indulgent one that was loosely inspired by me starting off this month horrifically sick and now being very grateful I can breathe again. Discussion of sickness in this one, naturally, but just inconvenient cold/upper respiratory infection stuff, nothing too serious.

“This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone,” Taako declared, flopping back against his pillows. Lup crossed her arms and looked down at him with limited sympathy, which was extremely cruel of her if you asked him.

“You have a cold, Taako,” she said.

Taako sniffled, desperately trying and failing to clear at least one nostril. “It’s not just a cold, Lulu. It’s the worst cold I’ve ever had in my life, and it just had to happen when I have a first date planned.”

She rolled her eyes. “Kravitz isn’t going to evaporate just because you have to reschedule. Just text him and tell him you’re sick.”

“I already did,” Taako huffed. “He hasn’t responded yet.” 

“Maybe the library’s busy today.”

“He has the day off.” 

She threw her hands up. “Then I don’t know what to tell you, bud. Maybe just be patient a little.” 

Taako moaned. “You have no idea how hard it was to find a night that worked for both of us. And the maintenance meter is running, Lulu!”

“The… what?”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, that's right. I forgot you've been dating the most devoted guy in the universe for three years. Let me remind you what it's like for us singletons.” He pushed himself back up to a sitting position to better make his point. “Whenever you're trying to set up a first date, or fuck, a second or third, there's a limit to how inconvenient you can be, or how weird, or how… much… before the guy decides to fuck off and ghost you. That's the maintenance meter, and by my count I'm already at a disadvantage because he caught me eating gogurt in the stacks that one time.”

Lup was looking at him like he had three heads. “I think maybe you just have shitty taste in men.”

“Well, when life gives you lemons,” he sighed, then fell into another coughing fit.

Lup sat down on the edge of his bed and rested her chin in her hand. “What about Kravitz? Do you think he’s another lemon?”

“No,” he said miserably. “I think he’s perfect. But that doesn't matter if he thinks I'm too much work to bother with."

She patted his leg sympathetically. “If he's as perfect as you think he'll know you're worth the work.”

Taako’s throat felt too tight all of a sudden, and not just from coughing all morning. “Thanks.”

“Any time, bud.” She pushed herself up off the bed. “I'm gonna go check on the soup. Yell if you need me.”

She headed to the kitchen, leaving Taako to burrow deeper into his blanket nest. He was half-dozing when their doorbell rang, startling him back to consciousness. He heard Lup answer the door, then a brief conversation he couldn't make out. A moment later she appeared in his doorway. 

“Taako? You awake?”

He groaned in response, eager to get back to his nap.

“Kravitz is here.”

His eyes flew open. He struggled his way out of his tangle of blankets and into an upright position. 

“What?” he exclaimed. 

“Kravitz is here. Should I show him in?”

Taako recoiled at the thought. “Absolutely not! Look at me, Lulu! I'm at maintenance meter defcon one right now!”

Lup just rolled her eyes. “I'll show him in.”

Taako frantically tried to smooth down the worst of his bed head and straighten out his pajamas. There was a quiet knock on his door frame, and he looked up to see Kravitz standing there, a sympathetic smile on his face. He looked incredible, of course. Even on his day off he was wearing a three-piece suit, plus a tie with a subtle raven motif.

“Hi,” he said, taking a few steps into the room. “Sorry to barge in on your sick day.”

Taako laughed. “Sorry I look like such a fucking mess.”

“No!” He denied, gallantly. “You look fine! A little stuffed up, maybe-”

“I can think of something else I'd like stu-” Another fit of wet coughing overtook him, and he collapsed back onto the bed. “Fuck, forget it. I'm too sick to flirt right now.”

Kravitz's eyes were soft and kind as he looked at him. “Well, I was hoping I could help with that.” He held up a large canvas bag before depositing it on Taako’s bed. 

“Let’s see….” He began rummaging through it, pausing occasionally to hold something up. “We've got DayQuil and NyQuil, depending on whether or not you want to be conscious for the next twelve hours. Some peppermint tea, to clear your nose and settle your stomach, if you need it, and some cough drops. I didn't know what kind of Gatorade you liked, so I got you orange, red, and blue, and hopefully one of those is good. And I knew Lup was probably taking care of food better than I possibly could, but I did bring you some saltines just in case. And….” He reached into the bag and pulled something out with a final flourish. “A friend to keep you company.”

It was a tiny stuffed plague doctor, which Kravitz set down gently on Taako’s bedside table. Taako stared at him, half-convinced he was looking at some sort of Kravitz-shaped fever dream.

“Krav, you didn't-” he croaked. “You didn't have to do all this.”

Kravitz shrugged. “It was just a quick trip to the store. Besides, I wanted to.” He tucked a stray lock of hair behind Taako’s ear and Taako was seized by a sudden desire to pounce on him, upper respiratory infection be damned. “You've got to get better soon so we can reschedule that date.” A slight shade of doubt passed over Kravitz’s face. “If you still want to, of course.”

Taako feigned a grimace. “Ooh, well, this is awkward, but I actually met an even hotter goth librarian while I was lying here hacking up a lung, so….” 

Kravitz laughed, rich and genuine. Taako grinned up at him. As his laughter subsided, Kravitz gently took hold of Taako’s chin with a thumb and forefinger. He stooped slightly and Taako closed his eyes, turning his face up towards him, trying not to give away just how much it made his chest ache to have Kravitz here, all lovely and warm and seemingly unphased by his transformation into some sort of snot monster. Kravitz pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, then stepped back towards the door.

“Get some rest, Taako. I'll see you soon.”

Taako heard him say a quiet goodbye to Lup before he left the apartment. A moment later Lup was leaning against the doorframe with a smug grin on her face.

“So, did he just completely disprove your whole depressing ‘maintenance meter’ theory?”

Taako picked up the tiny plague doctor, still in a bit of a daze. “He could be the exception that proves the rule,” he replied absently.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I like him.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He snuggled back down into the blankets, his new plague-friend clutched close to his chest.

🌹!!!

"You look tired," Magnus says. And to be honest, the first few times Magnus had said that, Taako took incredible offense.

But now he's lounging quietly into the third month of their world being saved, his mind being ungunked, and his sister being unghostbusted. Taako looks up at Magnus and gives him a smirk and a shrug.

"Yeah, I should probably do something about that," he admits.

--

Tiredness for an elf has nothing to do with expression. It's a physical thing, of course. Aches from lack of meditation and injury and hunger—just as real as any other living creature. A welling down deep in bones and sinew, waiting for relief. But an elf cannot look tired, because tiredness should never show in one's outward appearance. Everything about elven culture is about effortlessness. The ease by which complicated things get done, that is integral to the beauty of the thing. To feel tired is to be inconvenienced. To look tired is totally and utterly devastating.

--

The wonderland twins knew this.

When Taako brought himself to look into a mirror without glamour, two days after Story and Song, he gasped and turned away in horror.

He looked exhausted.

The soreness rumbling in his bones from his injuries in Wonderland, compounding with the magical drainage from fighting the hunger and just the emotional toll, all of it bubbled up to the surface. Weary eyes, face twitches, dark circles, stress pimples. The whole shebang. His hair looked like it was due for a conditioning. His knees and elbows were—Istus forbid it—dry!

He immediately cancelled his itinerary for three days and spent that time in the pocket spa, slathering ointments and tinctures onto his body to beat back any sign of distress.

--

Most folks (save the Starblaster crew, who knew him better than he knows himself) didn't catch on that something was different with Taako until several months in, some even years. Taako hated being perceived 24/7, spell slots be damned.

But slowly, he found himself less reliant on the glamour. His natural appearance looked less in need of intervention. It took time for the elf to catch to the cause, but oh boy when he realized it: the people around him were being a lot more accommodating now. The placating offers of rest and relief warmed to something a little gentler. The second Taako noticed the change, he leaned fully into it.

"Care for some fresh tea?" Ren asks.

"Don't fuss." "With lemon zest. Agave, no sugar."

"Do you want to take a break sir?" Angus asks.

"Nah I got plany off time" "If you're taking five, I'm taking five."

"Would you like for me to rub your back?" Kravitz asks.

"Yes." "Yes." (Who is he to say no?)

Glamor still helped. Made Taako look good even when the fatigue slowed him down. But not looking that way all of the time felt less and less like a bad thing. It was a nice unburdening. Like the sharp edges of a fancy table getting sanded down to reveal the grain underneath. Or something.

--

Taako looks up at Magnus and gives him a smirk and a shrug.

"Yeah, I should probably do something about that," he admits. He leans his head back into the couch cushions and drifts off to sleep.

I came back to this website just to feed my taz needs, plz tell me your favorite headcanon you never have a good chance to talk about

hmm honestly it’s very very hard to pick But…. I love love love my headcanon about Lup being incredibly enthusiastic about having a body again and just overwhelmingly excited to have contact with her loved ones again. no one is safe from her physical affection, she has spent over ten years unable to even communicate with anyone, she is making up for lost time!! she’ll run and jump at Magnus because she knows he will catch her!! she leans on Merle while they sit on the couch as he tells her about his latest adventure with his guild!! every time she sees Davenport they greet each other with a big hug. the first time she really gets to interact with Lucretia after she gets her body back, they both just hug each other and cry.

she and Taako are in contact almost constantly. they are back to their usual habits of leaning on one another and passive physical interaction as if they haven’t been apart for long at all. on hard days they will sit quietly and just hold each other to reassure one another that they’re really together again and they’ll never be apart to that extreme again.

and oh boy. she is so so affectionate with Barry. Lup states to his face that she has got to make up for lost time and she means that. the two of them are unbearably sappy with each other but no one can really blame them, given the whole. everything that happened.

Ten faves in ten fandoms

I was tagged by @saltedpin: thank you so much!!! 💙💙💙 (This took me way longer to put together than I thought, wow)

Tiger & Bunny - Nathan Seymour (aka Fire Emblem) What can I say about Nathan. She's my ultimate blorbo, despite being pretty much the opposite of the kind of character I usually fixate on. They're a successful, ultra-rich business owner but also the mom friend of the group; a wonderful mix of (literally) fiery fierceness and soft sensitivity; a big, phoenix-themed peacock with the heart of a small, cuddly lovebird. I love her to death. 💖 (Honorable mention to her future husband Buddy hero, Keith Goodman, aka Sky High, aka literally the bestest guy EVER.)

Star Trek: TNG - Data This guy was sort of a blueprint for my childhood weirdness. I live for characters who are supposedly non-human, but are actually the most human of them all; and Data, for all that he was vastly stronger, faster, and smarter (at least logically) than all of his friends, had a gentleness to him that made you forget about that pretty much all of the time. I've been wanting to hug him for about 35 years.

Yūri!!! on Ice - Yuuri When I started watching the show, I thought Victor would be my favorite, but when I began to truly understand Yuuri's character, there was no going back. He's so astonishingly real in the way he perceives himself as an utter failure while actually being amazing and very successful. He manages to give me a glimmer of hope, at least sometimes, that maybe I might manage, with some effort, to not be quite as much of an absolute disaster as I fear.

The Lord of the Rings - Faramir If I had to sum Faramir up in a word, it would be unassuming. He's constantly treated (mostly by his father, but also by part of the narrative) as someone who's an afterthought, a second best, a spare; all this in spite of being incredibly smart, and learned, and competent, and kind. He's just... really lovely, and although he ends up with Éowyn as sort of (again) a second choice after Aragorn, I say: Éowyn, my beloved badass, you kind of won the lottery there.

Anime Sanjūshi - Aramis (Yes, Italy apparently got ALL of the anime back in the '80s, lol.) This anime adaptation of The Three Musketeers takes quite a few creative liberties with the story, and one of them is making Aramis a woman in disguise. She kicks just as much ass as any of her companions (most of whom never find out her secret), and at the end, after completing the personal, romance-related quest she joined the Musketeers for, she... keeps her male disguise and her job, presumably forever. A+, no notes.

Stargate: Atlantis - John Sheppard One of the very few "military jock, ace pilot, dude with a big gun" protagonists I've ever liked, mostly due to the fact that Sheppard is technically all of the above things, but really he's just as much of a geeky, socially inept loser as the scientists he was hired to bodyguard, cosplaying as the jock with a gun because he really loves the "piloting things that fly really fast" part. Add in a self-sacrificial streak about a galaxy wide, and I was sold.

Sailor Moon - Haruka Tenō, aka Sailor Uranus 13-year-old me saw Haruka and fully went "man, I want to be her!" And then, many years later, I realized that I had also probably been wanting her, period. 😅 The anime got censored to hell and back, of course, but I'm the kind of person who takes things I'm told at face value, so I saw her being incredibly dramatic and jealous and infatuated and totally willing to die for her "best friend" and went "yeah, I guess that checks out". I still vaguely thought that she would make the perfect "boyfriend", as she was the coolest person ever, lol.

The Adventure Zone: Balance - Taako I still can't believe a podcast that started out as essentially "how many dick jokes can we fit into 60-90 minutes of butchering the rules of D&D" ended up being one of the most significant pieces of media in my life, but hey, to quote Taako himself, "It’s not all abraca-fuck-you and what have you. I have a beating heart! I’m multi-dimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation! FUCK!" Taako's vulnerability is hidden under MANY layers, but when it comes out, it hits straight to the heart.

Yūki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern - Lewis Smith I'm throwing my most recent fandom in here, because why not. Smith (yeah, I know) is an apparently extremely stereotypical "American Pilot Guy" character (don't look him up, because the show is best experienced without spoilers, but I promise you, he looks just like he could be Keith Goodman's twin), but in a show that is always at least three genres at once, in very varying degrees of seriousness, he ends up being one of the most genre-aware characters of all, with... interesting consequences.

Good Omens (TV) - Crowley This one is interesting because in the book, my favorite character was always, very clearly and very firmly, Aziraphale. And then the tv show happened, and yeah, I'm not immune to the David Tennant Effect, by any means, but... You know that post that's been going around, that says something vaguely like "the best trait a male character can have is being pathetically in love with someone"? Well. Crowley is not a male character, but in the show he embodies pining. Pining pours out of each and every one of his probably non-existent pores 24/7, non-stop, for millennia. And I... kind of like pining. A reasonable amount. It's fiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I am tagging YOU! 🫵 But only if you want to play, of course! 😂💙

Man I Love Frogs

It's @taznovembercelebration day 21 - we're still hanging in there! Today's prompt cards were: "familiar" and "problem". You can read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday? Find it here!

-

“Hello Taako.” Kravitz inclines his head and tries his best not to smile. “Do you have some comments about my paper?”

“Whaddya know, my man, I do!” Taako smiles like he’s trying to power a city with it. 

Kravitz does his best not to stare, he always does his best not to stare. He fails, he always fails. It’s not his fault though! Taako’s bright and handsome and after the drunken squat off at the first conference dinner Kravitz knows exactly how toned his arse is. He checks in regularly, just to make sure it’s still the same. It is. It’s for research though, time series analysis. Anal-ysis. No, terrible. Bad! He cannot afford to think dirty thoughts or awful puns. Taako knew his shit, Kravitz had to be on top of this. 

The academic comment wrestling shouldn’t be so hot, but Taako doesn’t come up to him in the usual way, the patronising ‘I’m here to talk about myself and your paper is just a mouthpiece for me to do it, in fact, this is only tangentially related’ way. Taako’s comments are actually helpful, insightful even! Plus, plus, he backs down when he’s wrong (although he does it quietly, but Kravitz can’t blame him for that.)

“Taako appreciated the way your big smart guy brain got round the translation limitations on the application sigil.”

Oh. That… was unexpected. This isn’t the usual pattern. By now Taako should be telling him about a hole in his logic or something he could have referenced but missed. He wasn’t always right, sure, but regardless of what he was saying and how right it was, he never started off with compliments.

Taako steps closer, lays an earnest hand on Kravitz’s forearm. “I’m just a simple idiot wizard, but even cha’boy can appreciate a…” Taako pauses and looks straight into Kravitz’s soul. “...solid combination.” 

Taako has something in his eye, he finishes speaking and closes just one. He doesn’t seem to rub it after so, so maybe it’s not that serious. Kravitz wants to ask if he’s okay, but he probably shouldn’t make a big deal of it.

“Yes.” Says Kravitz, smartly, wittily, good at social interaction-ly, instead of fussing.

“There’s a certain combination that Taako wanted to talk to you about, kemosabe.”

Taako looks at Kravitz like he’s supposed to say something here, like he hasn’t just stopped talking part way through a sentence.

“Okay?”

Taako doesn’t seem to be perturbed by Kravitz’s conversational mastery, thank the lady. He just powers on regardless.

“See, we’re both geniuses, you and I.”

Huh. Kravitz knows that Taako’s a genius, it’s undeniable when you look at the research he’s involved in. All the bonds stuff is fascinating - especially the impact of food on the strength. Kravitz still feels sorry for Magnus and the month Taako only made food he hated to see if it changed their bonds. He also felt sorry for whatever ethics committee Taako bullied that approach through, he’d love to see the paperwork.

Taako (thankfully) doesn’t wait for a response, which is good, because Kravitz doesn’t have one.

“... and I think it’d be a good idea for us to get closer. You know, really tackle some important questions on bonds, if you know what I mean?”

Kravitz did know what he meant! He didn’t think it would ever happen. He’d hoped, sure, but to actually be experiencing it? He’s going to burst, his Mums are going to be so excited! They’d told him to believe, that he could do anything, but this seemed so impossible, so implausible!

“You want me to join the bonds research team? Yes! Yes I’d love that! Taako, thank you so much! Oh gods! This is incredible!” Kravitz tries to keep the excitement out of his voice, he really does, but it’s impossible. He knows that there’s a giant smile plastered across his face and his hands are flipping at his sides. Taako’s not going to think it’s professional, but Taako’s wearing cowboy boots with flame decals (which Kravitz would bet any money he stole from Lup) at a conference so who’s he to judge?

“Er…” Taako pauses. Taako pauses too long. Shit. Fuck. What else could he have meant? “Yeah. That’s exactly what cha’boy was asking you, Kravster. Lemme just… er… I’m just going to text the gang and let them know how excited you are, you know, to join us.” He grabs his phone and smiles at Kravitz as he backs away. “They’re all going to be excited too.” Taako says, from his corner, before turning away and frantically typing.

Kravitz waits happily, he’s riding the joyous wave still, hands locked in the inevitable tide of it swirling by his sides, riding currents which existed only in his mind.

“Hey.” Taako appears by his side.

“Hello!”

“So, I think it would be helpful to talk about over dinner. Taako’s treat. You can tell me about how frogs fit into bonds and I can tell you about not-science.”

Kravitz would very much love to hear about not-science as long as it relates to Taako. Oh… shit.

“Will you need to measure our bond?” Maybe it will just register overall, it doesn’t need to show anyone’s individual feelings, surely? 

“I’d certainly like to get the measure of it.” Taako says and links his arm with Kravitz’s, leading him out of the lobby. Kravitz looks back towards the ballroom, but Taako tugs him away from the hotel.  “We’re not going to the conference meal, it’s a million quid and there’s a disco.”

“I would have thought you’d like to dance.” Kravitz says absently. He knows it’s supposed to be about work, but Taako’s his new colleague, it’s important to get to know each other.

“Taako loves to dance. Taako does not do conference dancing. I’d eat it up. Obviously. But it wouldn’t be fair to anyone else who came. They’d be distraught, they’d never dance again.”

“Oh no. You’ll definitely have to demonstrate for me though. I’m ready to be impressed.”

Taako shimmies next to him. “Don’t tempt me, handsome.”

Handsome? Taako called him handsome! Kravitz doesn’t care if it’s an objective colleague assessment, Taako said it, Kravitz heard the words come out of his beautiful mouth and there’s no take backsies. 

“Okay.” Kravitz says happily. “I might later though.” If they go and dance after dinner he’ll get so much time with Taako!

“Cha’boy is amenable to some late night temptation with you.”

“Great! I’m in!” Says Kravitz happily. Maybe they can dance together wherever they end up?

He looks down at their looped arms and smiles. To think he nearly missed this conference, a new colleague, a new project! He can’t wait to get started on the new research.

“Anyway.” Says Taako. “... about the frogs? Don’t worry about the phone, I’m just taking some notes.”

-

I hope you enjoyed! Wanna read more? Here's the next prompt!

Prompts to sink your teeth into 27 and Taakitz please and thank you!

“Balls to the walls, can you believe it’s been ten years since graduation?” Taako is laying upside down on Kravitz’s couch, kicking his feet in the air aimlessly. 

“Not on my balls or my walls,” Kravitz decides, snorting. He pulls the laundry out of the dryer and dumps it in a basket, frowning as static zaps him.  “It’s truly wild to think about. I don’t think I’m going to go to the reunion, if they even invite me, you know? Like, I think I was weird enough in high school that I don’t even get recruitment attempts for MLMs-”

“You just haven’t met the right one yet,” Taako chastises. “Maybe Pampered Chef is for you.”

“I think I’m more of a Tupperware bitch.” 

“I’d love to keep you in a Tupperware. I’d poke holes in the top for you and everything.” Taako flips over and rights himself, woozy and red in the face. 

“What, like a grasshopper?”

“Nah, like a cool snake I found. But just a widdle one.” 

Kravitz is oddly touched. It really adds a layer onto the thing he and Taako are absolutely, one hundred percent talking around: ten years since graduation also marks ten years since they made a marriage pact and swore a blood oath behind the Denny’s. 

A decade is long enough, yeah?

Yeah, lots of people get married by the time they’re 28. It’s normal. We don’t want to be unnormal.

I think that ship has sailed, dude. 

Forget the ship. It doesn’t have to be real. It’s just…you know, motivation. 

A kick in the ass. Yeah. 

Something to keep us looking. Because- romance is hard!

You think it’ll get less hard?

No, I don’t think it will, Taako. I don’t think it will. 

Kravitz looks at Taako. It was stupid back then. It’d be stupider to bring it up now. He’s been head over heels for an embarrassingly long time. It was a joke, mostly. A stupid teenager thing. They’re almost thirty, for fuck’s sake. 

He brings the basket over to the couch and sits beside Taako. Their sides touch, and Taako is warm. 

They’re almost thirty, and Taako’s twin is getting married. And here they are, roommates, alone, together. Kravitz doesn’t know the last time he went on a date, but the last time Taako did was about four months ago. It’s not looking good on the ‘surely some other, perfecter guy will come around and Kravitz will be able to transfer some of the love beating under the floorboards to some regular, unsuspecting dude’ front. 

“It’s just wild,” Taako sighs, clearly on the same choo-choo. “I mean, I’m happy for her, like-”

“Like between her and Barry I’ve been ready to flush myself down the toilet for-”

“So long. SO long!” 

“Physically painful,” Kravitz agrees, not least because it made him incredibly aware of his own bullshit. “Like you said, so happy for them, and I mean, obviously w- I’ll show up to the wedding with bells on-”

“You bet your sweet ass we will. But like, you think my sad jester ass is getting any jingling action?” Taako gives him a sorrowful puppy dog face, like a pathetic court fool left in a cardboard box in the rain, and Kravitz laughs so hard he worries he’s going to pass out. He imagines those jingle bells a’janglin’. But he’d better not. 

He’d really better not. 

“It’s not that I don’t…It’s- It’s not like I want to make either of them feel bad...” Kravitz starts.  

“Definitely not.” 

“But I almost want to- cause a bit of a scene?” He looks at Taako. Taako perks up, tugging down his imaginary jester hat for Serious Mode. 

“I love causing scenes,” Taako says affectionately. “You know this.”

“I know this, and I agree with you,” Kravitz replies, grinning. Warm laundry forgotten. Socks, stay unpaired. Fuck your romantic life right up the same alley as his own. “What are you thinking? I’m hearing gears turning.” 

“Industry music doot-dooting,” Taako says with a nod. “Listen.”

“Listening. You know I’m listening.” 

“It- I mean, just for fun, right, nobody gets hurt, it’s fine, everything is fine? It’s for funsies.” 

“For funsies,” Kravitz echoes. 

“It would be soooo funny if we got engaged right before Lup’s wedding.” 

“Yeah?” Kravitz hears the ocean in his ears. Maybe he got a seashell stuck in there. You know how he is, always getting seashells in places. 

“Yeah! Yeah. Just as a fun prank, and for no other reason. There’s no way this could backfire.”

“Uhuh,” Kravitz says. “It- It would be easy, even. People say we act like a couple all the time. Haha.” Hopefully Taako doesn’t notice that Kravitz said ha-ha instead of laughing. It’s probably fine. Totally regular, even. He’s? Normal. 

“Absolutely.” There’s a manic look in Taako’s eyes, and Kravitz could lose himself in them like a stupid little boat in the Bermuda Triangle. Geometry never was his strong suit, and this current is pulling him under. How many times in his life has he gotten involved with something stupid because of Taako? Not to mention all of the stupid ideas Taako’s encouraged him to follow through on. 

God, is that why he minored in trombone? 

He’s so fucked. There’s no way this is ending well. There’s no way they walk out of this unscathed. 

“It would be funny,” he admits. 

“So funny.” Taako nods enthusiastically, like this is the greatest idea he’s ever had in his life. Fuck all those other bargain bin ideas, this is their ticket to the limelight. Fake dating. 

Fake engagement, even.  

Kravitz’s hand grips the upholstery of the couch, not even a full inch away from Taako’s hand. 

“Why not?”

@taznovembercelebration red or black

Taako doesn't believe in signs.

See, Lup believes in all that witchy shit in a science way, as if there was any other way to believe. So when she believes in signs, she's moved by the earthly mechanisms behind them, of course.

Taako thinks she's a loon for it.

It's not for lack of trying. He loves the concept of being comforted by seeing an ad for dorky sneakers your crush wears when youre thinking about him or hearing a song your best friend loves when you're feeling particularly lonely, but he just thinks the universe is an uncaring mistress who allows coincidence to raise and dash the hopes of poor saps both willy and nilly.

That being said, he's fairly certain that he can use the cute guy who's always on his train in the morning as some kind of dousing rod to indicate how his day will go.

Rather, not so much him but his tie. He tends to alternate his ties between red and black but it's not as though he alternates them equally, red then black then red again. It seems random but each time this guy wears a red tie, Taako seems to have a great day. Once he found twenty dollars in the pocket of the coat he bought at the thrift store after work. Another time he got a raise.

It also helps that the red tie looks incredible on train guy.

Of course, one would ask how Taako even began to pick up on this pattern. Simply, he gets motion sick if he looks at his phone during his commute and his headphones were dead one day.

And train guy also tends to listen to music and very, very subtly, conduct along with the music. And, once again, he's hot.

It's a win-win, really.

Taako’s certain that today is a black-tie day. His hot water was out this morning, the shoelace on his favorite pair of shoes snapped while he was tying it, he got caught in the rain, and, as he discovers just as his train is approaching the platform, he forgot his lunch in the fridge.

He drops down into a seat in the fairly empty car, a bedraggled mess. Truly, he feels like a canary caught in the maw of life. He stares out the window of the train car before the hulking silver beast creaks to a stop.

Standing in front of him, always standing, Taako remembers, is cute train guy. He takes his usual spot, headphones firmly over his ears, fingers dancing delicately to whatever song streams out.

He has the audacity to show up in a red tie.

Too late, Taako realizes that he's staring. Hardcore, laser focused, mean mugged staring.

Cute train guy looks at Taako and blinks in surprise.

"You alright?" He asks, lowering his headphones and breaking unwritten rule number one of the train.

"You're kind of a shitty oracle," Taako says flatly. You know, like a completely normal person.

"I'm sorry?" Cute train guy furrows his brow in confusion like an actually normal person.

Taako slides his hand down his face in frustration. "Don't know if you know this, but the color of your tie has been like, a barometer of shitty days and my man, this has been a real shit day and you're wearing a red tie? It's a little hurtful."

Cute train guy blinks once and then twice. "You've been staring this whole time?"

Taako goes redder than the tie in question. "When you say it like that it makes me sound like a freak."

He nods and gives the barest hint of a smile. He crosses the train car. "Well, it's kinda weird. But I like weird."

"Yeah?"

He nods again. "Yeah. I'm a mortuary student so I have to like weird."

Taako stifles a laugh. Only just. "Okay, so we're both freaks here?"

"Maybe so. As one freak to another, I'm Kravitz." He extends his hand.

Taako takes Kravitz’s hand and gives a firm shake. "Taako." He moves his bag to the ground. "Wanna sit?"

"I'd like that."

Propaganda

Mario and Sonic:

People who pit these two against each other are WRONG. They both regularly meet up for the Olympics and they're great friends. Mario and Sonic probably get competitive when facing each other in sports but would definitely compliment each other afterwards and then go and get chilli dogs and spaghetti or something. They would bond over suggesting platforming tequiques to each other (where do you think Mario got his rolling ability from?), and they probably have a group chat with the other characters where they all talk about their adventures!

Tim Stoker, Lup, and Taako:

I have so many thoughts built up from drafting a TMA + TAZ crossover fic which I will hopefully one day post, specifically season three of TMA and the Stolen Century arc of Balance (and this is going to be incomprehensible if you haven't listened to both podcasts, sorry op). I just feel like both of the twins would get along with Tim so well on a base level, but especially a combination of the traumatized and depressed Tim of season three and the post-Legato deep into the cycles Lup and Taako of the Stolen Century arc. In my AU the TMA world is just one of the many that the Starblaster crew encountered during the century. As far as Lup goes, I feel like she would be able to connect with Tim's grief over Danny and Sasha (but especially Danny) and help him find a way to get revenge against the Circus that doesn't end in his death. Because of the mechanics of the cycles Lup's probably lost Taako early in a year at least once or twice, so she knows the grief of losing a brother, and whether you see Tim and Sasha's relationship as romantic or platonic (I personally headcanon them as a QPR but that's neither here nor there) she's got experience with that sort of grief as well through Barry and the rest of the crew. More than that, she has experience finding perspective and reasons to keep living beyond that loss and beyond the need to avenge it that Tim desperately needs. Above all, though, Tim really needed someone in his corner during season three to side with him about how utterly fucked and unfair the entire situation with the Archives and the Unknowing and help him figure out a solution to work towards, and Lup, being the magical powerhouse that she is, would be absolutely delighted to help him torch the Circus to the ground from a safe distance. On the Taako side of the equation, I feel like Taako's characterization during Stolen Century is simultaneously a good mirror and a good opposite to Tim in terms of their attitudes versus their circumstances. On the one hand both of them theoretically share the motivation of fighting to save the world for the people they care about, only Taako has already lost his home world to the Hunger and Tim has already lost his two most important people to the Stranger. On the other hand you have Tim's whole "you're the only one I can trust is still you" dealio with Jon from MAG 114 and Taako's "everyone aside from the six of you are dust" speech from the last part of Stolen Century, both of them clinging to people they feel they can trust in response to growing despair. While Lup would help channel Tim's anger into something productive and cathartic, Taako would help by just letting him sit with his feelings for a bit, not pressuring him to get over it or rush into forgiveness. And finally from Tim's perspective, I feel like it would be such a comfort to him to have the support of two powerful people who feel just as strongly about the situation as he does. Lup is an immensely powerful evocation wizard and Taako is a talented and skilled transmutation wizard, both of them are incredibly intelligent scientists and arcane scholars in their own right, and both of them are used to dealing with end of the world level threats on the regular. Knowing that both of them are on his side and are actively working with him to fix a situation he's otherwise felt utterly powerless within for a long time would be such an emotional thing for him. On top of all that, beyond just helping take down the Unknowing and deal with his grief, Lup and Taako are two fantastically funny and goof-loving personalities who could help bring out more of the old playfulness and lightheartedness that Tim had before things got so bad just by interacting with him. Anyways, thank you for coming to my TED talk op, hope you enjoy my 700+ word essay on why being adopted by the Tacco twins would fix Tim Stoker's mental health :)